691 Suburban Dr By Natty Soltesz
I thought about Fallon on my way back home. Something about our last couple conversations was haunting me, some neediness she'd shown, a crack in the strong, liberated surface I'd known until then.
I remembered what she'd said as far being attracted to Darrin for his bi-ness. I felt like I could relate, as I'd idealized straight guys for most of my life and I apparently wasn't over the allure of it yet. There was something exciting about being with somebody who wouldn't normally be with you, that veneer of unattainability.
For the next couple of weeks I didn't hear from them, and I let it sit. I wasn't getting any phone calls, quite frankly, and I was kind of enjoying just doing my own thing. Then one night, Kate called.
It had been over two months since we'd talked, and work had been exceedingly awkward as a result. We were never hostile to one another, but we would greet one another in the halls and that was about that. I'd been wracking my brain trying to find out how to approach her, how to make everything alright, but part of me felt like it was her duty to call me – after all, I hadn't reacted judgmentally to anything she had done. I figured if she had problems with me, they were problems she needed to work out on her own. And that was just how it went down after we got past small talk.
"I just wanted to apologize, Nate, for how I reacted the last time we talked. And for kind of avoiding you these past few months," she said.
"It's okay," I said. I was practically already crying.
"I guess it's just...sexuality is a confusing thing. I think about Jackie – remember Jackie?" Jackie was a mutual friend from our college days, we'd both known her in college though Kate and I hadn't known each other. Jackie was also loudly and proudly bisexual. "I never questioned the fact that Jackie liked girls and guys. I don't know why it's different when you mentioned it but I guess it just...was, for me."
"I understand. People don't believe that guys can be bisexual. To tell you the truth, I don't even know if I believe it. But I hope you understand that I wasn't having sex with Fallon just to like, get with Darrin."
"I know, I know. I mean, I guess that is where my head went, a little. But I know you would never do that."
"Thanks," I said.
"It wasn't just that either. I mean, it shook my idea of who you are. It still does. It's confusing." She looked at me and in that moment all these thoughts surfaced that I'd never considered before. Like did I find Kate attractive? I guess I sort of did. Did she find me attractive? I had to imagine that she probably did, somewhat.
"I can understand that," I said, and Kate smiled. I didn't think there was any way to address the idea of an attraction between us without making things incredibly awkward, so I let it go.
"So how are things?" she said.
"Weird," I admitted. "I'm not sure what's happening. Things are feeling like they're getting a little complicated." I told her how I'd slept with both of them separately and the subsequent odd conversations I'd had with Fallon. Kate didn't have a lot to say about it, and I didn't expect her to. It was just nice to have a friend listen.
"I have something to tell you," she said once I'd finished spilling my guts. "I'm pregnant."
I squealed.
"Are you excited?"
"Yes," she said, laughing. "I am...but I'm also kind of freaking out, Nate. I mean this is what I wanted, for sure, but me and Charlie, our whole lives are going to change. Like say I want to go out to happy hour after work. I can't. That part of my life is over. Everybody changes eventually but usually it's a slow, gradual thing. This is literally overnight. My life is going to be devoted to this baby, it won't be my life anymore."
"You're gonna be a great mom."
"I know," Kate said, letting out her breath. "It doesn't help that I can tell Charlie's scared too. I just wish one of us could feel like this was definitely going to be good."
"I'll tell you then. It's definitely going to be good."
"Thanks, Nate. I'm going to try hard to believe you. And I'm sure everything's going to work out with you and your...entanglements?"
"I hope so, too. Oh god..."
"What?" Kate said. There was no backing out of it now.
"I slept with Jordan. I slept with my ex-boyfriend," I said. Her reaction was somewhere between a scream and a whoop. She then alternated between sternly admonishing me and desperately plying me for details. It didn't make me feel anything but loved.
Fallon called me a few days after that. From the minute I picked up I could tell that something was strange.
"Nate," she said.
"Hey Fallon, how you been?"
"Um, good. Have you talked to Darrin?"
"No, not since I last talked to you."
"Okay. Why not? You should talk to him if you want to talk to him."
"Okay," I said, getting more uncomfortable by the second.
"Can I tell you something?" she said.
"Well..."
"Just between us."
"If it's about Darrin, I'd rather you kept it between you guys."
"I would but I can't, I don't have anyone else to talk about this stuff. I think he's going to break up with me."
"Why would you think that?"
"I don't know I can just tell. I mean, you haven't been around, and that's been weird, and I'm afraid he thinks I scared you away."
"Which isn't true."
"Isn't it?" I paused, because it was a little true. "I think you should come this weekend, Nate. We can all get together. I mean I don't even have to be here, I can go away and you two can just fuck away."
"Fallon, I just...that's not what I want. And frankly, I don't feel comfortable talking about this stuff with you, it sounds like it should be between you and Darrin."
"No you're right," she said, getting very cold.
"Okay?" I said.
"Okay. Bye," she said, and hung up.
And that was, largely, that. I didn't hear from either of them for over two months, and when Darrin finally called it was to tell me that they had broken up. Even still, I was shocked.
"I broke up with her, technically. She has some issues to work out. I mean, we all do, but things were just getting to weird between us," Darrin said.
"I had a very weird phone call with her back in April. She seemed more concerned about our friendship than her relationship with you," I said.
"Exactly," Darrin said. "I sort of don't know how to talk about it without sounding like I'm blaming you. I'm not, at all, it's just that I don't think either of us anticipated what would happen when we brought you into things."
"It's okay, I don't feel responsible if that's any consolation."
"It is, and thanks. She moved out over a month ago, she's living in Philly now."
"Maybe I'll drop her a line?"
"If you want to. It couldn't hurt. But anyway, the reason I'm calling is because Randy's coming to visit this weekend. I thought we could all hang out."
So this is it, I thought as I drove into Hidden Grove, past kids riding their Big Wheels down the sidewalk, moms tending their gardens and men mowing their lawns. The three of us together again for the first time since college. It was surreal. I'd had a boner, on and off, for almost the entire drive there.
I knew that Darrin was probably in a post-breakup slutfest sort of state: he'd be horny, and Randy was always horny. It was going to be a gay sex orgy with my old college buddies, and I was excited as all hell.
There was Randy's car in the driveway next to Darrin's. Randy opened the door just as I was pulling in behind him, his hair sticking up in a messy nest, wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt. "Dude!" he said. I gave him a big hug.
"Morning! Even though it's five in the evening."
"Who's keeping track? Not us," Randy said. "Vacation, baby. We're in the living room," Randy said. I followed his bouncy butt down the hall, observing Darrin's house as I went. Some pictures were missing from the fridge and Fallon had apparently gotten all the houseplants, otherwise it looked the same. When I got to the living room, however, I had to stifle a laugh. Darrin had tricked out his living room into a bachelor tech-nerd's paradise. One wall was bare but for a seven-foot projection of his television screen. A black leather sectional wound around the room. Surround-sound speakers peppered the walls. There were towers of equipment – Wii, Playstation, Dreamcast, Atari, and more shit I didn't recognize.
Darrin was sprawled on the sofa, controller in hand, playing Halo. "Like it?" he said.
"It's ridiculous. And amazing," I said.
"It's the man cave," Darrin said. I sat down.
"What have you guys been up to today?"
"Fucking," Randy said. He was packing up a bong. "Smoking. That's about it."
"Did I die and go back to college?" I said.
"Oh yes," Darrin said, taking the bong from Randy and passing it to me. "Oh yes you did."
Randy had business in Philadelphia later that week. "But if my wife asks, the conference started yesterday."
"Gotcha," I said. The bong went around. We talked our current lives and reminisced about old times. It was heartening, the ease at which we fell into a rapport – I'd been afraid that the years we'd gone without communication would have broken it, but it came effortlessly.
"So Randy," I said, holding in a hit, releasing it. "How long was it before you had Darrin's dick up your ass?"
"Ten minutes?" Randy asked.
"He had to take a shower first," Darrin said. "Otherwise he probably would've bent over right there in the foyer."
"His ass is still great though, isn't it?" I said to Darrin, who nodded and smiled.
"Now I'm horny," Randy said. "I want to do it in the kitchen." He rose and we followed. We got him on the kitchen table, on all fours, ass spread for both of us as we took turns eating him out. I sucked Darrin's big dick while he ate Randy's ass. When Darrin asked me to grab the lube from upstairs, I came back with it and with condoms.
"Don't worry about those," Darrin said.
"He already convinced you," I said.
"It's too late now. We've all done it bare with each other at this point, right?" The logic was there, not that we were thinking with our brains. Darrin slid his raw cock into Randy's big ass and fucked away while I got in front of Randy and let him suck me. Then I switched with Darrin.
It was interesting to notice how our sexual preferences had solidified over the years. Whereas in college we'd been experimenting, with everybody doing everything to everybody, now the roles were more defined. Darrin liked to fuck. Randy liked to take it. I was solidly versatile.
Darrin had a talent for dirty talk, which he'd interestingly not used much when Fallon was around. "You like my cock in your cunt?" he was saying the next night, when he had me and Randy side by side on our backs, holding our legs up, and taking turns fucking us. "Take daddy's dick in your sweet pussy." And all this stuff about jizzing inside us because he couldn't get us pregnant, which sounds stupid on paper but in real life it was turning me on like crazy.
We shaved Randy's ass at one point, until it was smooth like marble, then Darrin played daddy and I played boy and he "taught" me how to fuck it.
Randy had a thing for cum, hence the barebacking fetish. He wanted every load that came out of us. When we weren't cumming inside him we were cumming in his mouth or on his face, and Randy never wasted his own. He'd either throw his legs over his head and cum right in his own mouth or have us scoop it up and feed to him off our cocks.
We fucked the entire weekend away, never leaving the house, ordering in food and sitting and eating while watching a movie or playing video games and always smoking more weed. Then we'd fuck some more, sometimes in two's, most often in three's, whatever ended up happening. We'd crash, all of us together, in the living room, and usually would wake up to one of us playing with another until we were all getting our morning wood taken care of together.
It was a fantastic time but I have to say, I felt a little weird about the total abandon with which we were throwing ourselves into it. Here was Randy, married with a baby on the way. Here was Darrin, who'd never displayed this sort of raunchiness with his ex-girlfriend, at least not that I'd seen. I felt the absent women in the room like an almost physical presence, like we needed the images of them there to make it hot. Like if it had just been us, the stakes wouldn't have been as high, the sex not as dangerous.
I thought about Fallon in particular. She was the one who'd brought me back into contact with Darrin, after all. I knew I didn't have any responsibility toward her – she hadn't been my girlfriend, and these were my old friends – we'd been fucking around with one another for years before I even met her. But Darrin and I had barely taken a moment to mourn the fact that she wasn't around anymore. We'd just thrown ourselves into a full-on suck and fuck fest, which had felt a little bit like whistling past the graveyard.
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