Except for one "knowing glance" at supper, Alexander acted completely normal as he served supper that evening. That doesn't mean that things were good. I was having massive regrets, just like any sixteen-year-old who had stuck his dick into one to many places. I was sorry I had done Alexander. For that matter, I was sorry I had done things with Jason.
Tyler didn't get home with his mom until late that night. We talked on the phone, but not for long. I felt funny about it.
Afterward, Jason came into my room and convinced me to get on the Play Station with him. Wearing only shorts, he made a point of sitting right against me as we played, his bare leg against mine. Now that I had sexed with Jason, the contact stirred me – I mean, even though he was my brother, after what we had done together, it was natural to get turned on by his leg rubbing mine. My eyes kept dropping to his smooth legs, the bulge in his shorts, and the long tube lying out to one side. When Jason started grabbing inside my thigh whenever he racked up his score, I didn't stop him.
What can I say? I was sixteen. I had all day to physically recover from sex with Alexander. I had already given in to Jason the night before, and I remembered the feel of his body under mine. Any resolve to pull in my horns and stay faithful to Tyler dissolved all over again as my dick hardened.
That tube in Jason's shorts thickened and rose. He set his controller aside, took mine from me and set it aside, and climbed astride my lap. His eyes met mine. "I thought about this all day," he said as he pulled open the waistband of my shorts and pulled out my dick. He yanked down the front of his shorts and held our dicks together.
"I'm sleeping with you tonight," he said.
"Jason, maybe we ought to cool it, you know? I mean, Tyler and I have barely started, you know, being boyfriends." It was a token defense. I said it, but my heart wasn't in it, or rather, my dick wasn't. Jason could tell.
He slid to his knees on the floor between my legs, and taking hold of my dick, he closed his mouth over it. Game over.
I stumbled into the kitchen the next morning, feeling like shit. I was sleepy, I had lost my resolve with Jason, again, and I had no idea what to say to Tyler about what had happened, if anything.
Alexander was working at his chopping block and smiled broadly when he saw me. If he was hoping for a repeat of the morning before, one look at me told him that wasn't going to happen. I slid onto a stool at the kitchen island and buried my face in my hands.
"Why you look like that?" Alexander asked.
I groaned.
"Tell me, man," Alexander said, taking a seat beside me and laying a hand on my back. "What be wrong with my fine young man this wonderful morning."
"I'm tired," I mumbled into my hands.
"Hmmm," Alexander murmured skeptically. He gave my back a friendly rub. When I didn't say anything further, he returned to his work counter, grabbed his drink and came back. "Try this," he said. "I know you don't like coffee, but this is a very special iced coffee. I've got me a new special recipe. See what you think."
I took a sip. It was like a Frappuccino, but this was back when Starbucks was just beginning to take off, and I'd never had anything like it.
"I knew that would make your eyes bright," Alexander said, pleased. "You drink that one. I'll make me another. And I'll fix whatever breakfast you want."
I frowned. "I'm not having sex with you again, Alexander."
Alexander shook his head sadly and laid a hand on my shoulder. "I only want you to feel better my fine boy. I'm not trying to get into your pants." He chuckled then, with that deep chuckle of his. "At least not this morning." He squeezed my shoulder. "I'll fix you whatever breakfast you want, and you drink my special iced coffee, and then you tell me all about what's wrong."
He did, and I did. Up until that summer, I had no one I could talk to, no one to whom I ever admitted to being gay, much less, discussed my feelings. Even that morning, I couldn't very well tell my brother Jason everything that had been going on in my mind, and I had no idea what to tell Tyler.
Alexander was different, though. He already knew about me, and though we'd sexed together, he was disarmingly casual about it. He seemed trustworthy -- I mean, this was Alexander who lived in my house for over a year; I knew him. It just happened naturally that I poured out my heart to him. I told him everything, even about Jason -- though I warned Alexander to keep his hands off Jason.
Alexander simply smiled and said, "My hots are all for you, my fine young man."
I wasn't sure how much I believed that, but I continued. I told Alexander about the certainty I had in my gut that Tyler really needed me, and how it prompted me to promise him to never quit loving him. "What's really bad, Alexander," I said, almost through my second iced coffee, "is that I made that promise to Tyler, and then turned around and had sex with Jason, and then had sex with you.
Alexander, who was sitting beside me again at that point, smiled and laid his hand on my shoulder once more. "There are different kinds of love, my fine boy. If you want Tyler to be your 'one true love', then tell Jason to leave you be. But it be hard -- very hard -- to be a faithful lover even when you be older. Men and boys don't got that nature to be true." He rubbed the back of my shoulder, looking thoughtful. "But, you say Tyler wants a brother, right? I'm thinkin' you be brother first, and lover second. Lovers fall apart. Brothers don't ever fall apart, and Tyler ain't got no brother." He smiled and squeezed my shoulder. "You know what I'm thinking? You don't have a big brother. I'm thinking I be your big brother, beautiful boy."
I smiled. Alexander laughed and clapped me on the back. "That's my smile. You melt men and boys, both, you smile like that!"
Tyler showed up with Jason that afternoon, and it appeared that they were friends again. They both appeared happy. And Tyler looked as boyishly sexy as I remembered. I had my own "beautiful boy", I thought as I took a seat next to him at lunch.
I sat beside him because it would have been weird not to. But I still felt odd. I've always been a shitty liar -- I just can't pull it off. I was sure that Tyler would know with just one look at me that I had cheated on him. Alexander caught my eye and mouthed the word, "smile." So I forced one. Soon the smile became real because, honestly, it felt awfully good to be with Tyler again. All those initial feelings of attraction and infatuation came back. But I was still sorry. Even if Alexander was right about it being difficult for guys to be faithful lovers, I was discovering the hard reality that sex with more than one lover dilutes your feelings.
After lunch, Jason, Tyler, and I wandered into the den. Jason took a couch. I took another. Tyler took the other end of my couch, a little awkwardly perhaps. As intimate as we had been the weekend before, it had been several days, and everything seemed a little unreal. Being together again was almost like a first date. But then, Tyler sat back into the corner of his end of the couch and opened his legs to show me he had a boner in his shorts. Back came my smile!
Jason stood up to leave. "See you guys later," he said. "I've got other things to do."
"You sure?" I asked, adjusting a growing boner of my own.
"Yeah. Just let me know if you guys want to do anything later."
I wondered if he meant that to have a double meaning, and I decided he did because Jason smirked as he left the room.
I had no idea where the housekeeper, Naomi, was, so I couldn't jump Tyler's bones right there on the couch the way I wanted. Instead, I jumped up and lifted Tyler with one arm under his knees and the other under his back. He wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me.
"Wait," I told him as I hurried from the den with him in my arms. "Wait until we're in my room." If we had run into Naomi, though, she would have known exactly what was up. Not only was I tenting obscenely, but Tyler, with his arms around my neck, gazed into my eyes with obvious love.
I bounded up the stairs and into my room, where I kicked the door closed behind me, turned toward it, and dropped Tyler's feet to the floor so I could lock the door. Tyler grabbed behind my neck with both hands and covered my mouth with his. With a groan, I wrapped my arms behind his back and pressed his body to the door with mine. I wanted him. I wanted him badly.
I did love Tyler. I wanted to love him with everything I had. Not just have sex with him, but love him. I pressed him to the door and kissed him just as hotly as he kissed me. Our hard cocks pressed through our shorts. He started to pull my shirt off. I pulled his off at the same time, and we pressed bare chest to bare chest.
Tyler plunged a hot hand into my shorts and grabbed my cock. I slid my palms into the back of his shorts and cupped his smooth ass. Tyler let go of my cock and pulled himself up onto me, wrapping his legs around my waist. I carried him to the bed and plunged us onto it, my hips between his legs.
We kissed and ground hotly. His fingers traced over the sides of my face lightly, frantically and he whimpered. I kissed him firmly, then backed down him and sucked his nipples hard. He hugged my head in his arms. I backed down farther and freed his chubby dick from his shorts, swallowing it. His fingers gripped my hair.
I ran my hands up the legs of his shorts as I sucked, caressing the smooth insides of his thighs. He was so achingly perfect! With both hands, I slid down his shorts and underwear, pulling them off his feet along with his sandals. Jerking off my own shorts and underwear, I plunged back onto him, naked cock to naked cock, and we wrapped each other up in our arms.
Our sex was driven with ache and desire hotter than anything before. I'd seen passion portrayed in movies, but had no idea how intense the real thing could really be, especially at our ages. We kissed and ground and thrust. Tyler's hands were all over my back and butt. I ran my fingers into his hair and held the sides of his face while ravishing inside his mouth with my tongue. His thighs squeezed my hips. His hands grabbed my butt.
"I want to come like this!" he gasped when I allowed him breath.
I grabbed the backs of his shoulders, returned my mouth to cover his, and thrust firmly against his thrusts, over and over until the two of us soaked our bellies in cum. And even then, we continued to kiss and move together. Slower. Intimate. Warm.
Our cocks never fully softened and when we began to thrust hard again, I backed my hips, aimed my cock lower, added spit, and when Tyler grabbed my shoulders and pulled his knees up, I aimed my erection into his crack. I found his opening and eased in. His hands tightened on my shoulders and his eyes closed. He moaned softly. His tightness slid down my shaft as I eased entirely in. He wrapped his legs around me and I lay down onto him and pressed my mouth to his.
An hour later, his flaccid dick slipped from inside me and Tyler rolled off my back and onto his. I reached across his chest, and rolling up onto my side, I pulled him to me and cocked a leg over his. I nuzzled into the side of his hair and sighed, deeply contented with my 'boy like me'. I may have been tempted to put my dick in other places, but there was only one place for my heart. We fell asleep.
Tyler stirred and I woke up. We looked at each other at the same time. He grinned. "That was great!"
"Yeah."
"It was hot!"
"Awesomely hot!" I agreed.
"You think it was because we had to wait so long?"
I felt a pang of guilt because I had not waited, but I forced a smile. "Probably."
"I missed you," he said. He laid a hand on my belly. "I kept thinking of your strong body and the things we did." He smiled and looked into my eyes. "Did you think about my body?"
"Yes!" I said passionately.
He nodded. "Waiting makes it hotter."
I couldn't keep lying to him. There was no way I would tell him about Alexander, but there was no way I couldn't tell him about Jason. I believed Alexander that he wouldn't say anything, and I didn't think he would let on. But Jason might say something, or give it away with a look or a comment. Or I might. Or Jason might want sex again, and I wasn't sure I could say 'no' -- Even at sixteen, I was honest enough with myself to recognize the depth and nature of my feelings for my younger brother.
"Look, Tyler," I said. "I gotta tell you something."
Tyler frowned at the tone in my voice.
"The other night," I said, "Jason, well, he sort of demanded his blackmail payment?" -- Not a complete lie, I assured myself.
Tyler cocked his head. "What did he want?"
"Well," I took a deep breath. "He wanted me to do with him what I did with you."
I watched Tyler's eyes. At first he was puzzled and didn't understand, but then I saw the pain as he realized what I meant. Tyler pushed away from me.
"Wait, Tyler!" I pleaded while trying to think how to explain.
Tyler grabbed his boxers off the floor and pulled them on, and even in that moment, a part of my mind admired his smooth, lean legs and the weight of his young manhood.
"It wasn't the same with Jason," I told him. "I mean, it was Jason. He's my brother. It wasn't the same as you and me."
Tyler had his shorts on and was pulling on his shirt.
"You know how close Jason and I are," I protested. "You gotta understand how he felt, being left out by us."
Tyler pulled on his sandals. His eyes were tearing up.
"He felt like you forgot about him as a friend and I forgot about him as a brother," I said.
Tyler pulled open the door and left.
"You gotta understand!" I called after him. Jumping from the bed, I ran to the open door where I stopped. Noami was coming up the stairs as Tyler was going down, and I was naked. I closed the door and leaned back against it. I'd lost him. I slid to the floor onto my butt and literally wailed. After searching so long and finally finding my boy like me, I had lost him.
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