A Change of Hearts 5
This is a fictional story dealing with love and consensual sexual activities between males. If you are not of legal age, reside in an area where viewing such material is illegal, or are offended by homosexuality and/or homosexual themes leave this site now.
The author retains all rights to this story. No reproductions or links to other sites are allowed without the permission of the author.
This is the back story of a screenplay I am currently writing and I thought this would be a good way to get some feedback. I have never written a story for nifty before so feedback would be great. I am also looking for a new editor if anyone is interested.
Please send all feedback to achangeofheartsseries@hotmail.com.
And how about a donation for Nifty eh?
Thanks and Enjoy!
Josh x
Previously...
Adam
I am livid after my Dad leaves. How can he think sorry would fix it all? I blink back the tears as my mother leaves the room and Christian leaves quickly returning with Sean. All the pain drifts away as he walks into the room looking apprehensive and uncomfortable. God he is beautiful. I struggle to remember what I had to talk to him about as the hazy fog settles, as it normally does when I am around him. We settle down and I begin talking to him about what I heard earlier. Sean regards me with utter shock as I relive everything that happened. I finally give in for a breather and allow him time to speak. And for the second time today I am left floored, shocked and unexpectedly completely broken.
A Change Of Hearts
Chapter 5
Sean
WHAT THE FUCK!?! He heard me. What am I going to do? My subconscious glares at me snidely telling me it's my fault and though I would rather ignore him he's right. What did I think was going to happen, me sitting by his bed all the time whispering and singing to him? God he is beautiful though, he looks like nothing ever happened to him. No! I can't get distracted by the way he looks right now.. I gotta decide what to do!
If I got into anything with one of my students the consequences would be ridiculously harsh. I could lose my job, might even have my teaching license taken away from me. I would have to start all over again and do something different.. Is that really what I want to do? I have worked way too hard to get to where I am now, and throwing it all a way for some sort of infatuation would just be beyond stupid, and reckless, and it could destroy my life and oh god he's smiling at me. But not just any smile, a smile that is relaxed but shows his eyes dancing, excited but slightly hesitant at the same time.
And that brings me to my next point. Can I go without Adam? Because if I don't deal with this the right way, there will never be a chance of anything with us... Can I deal with that? Since he came in to my life everything has been crazy, and confusing, and stressful. But it's also been bright and hopeful and lovely and there is one single reason for that, Adam. Adam and his smile, and his voice, and his skin, and his smell, and in that one moment I make my decision. I can't live without him.
"Sean did you hear what I said? I said I feel the same way too" he breathes out to me.
"Adam I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not sure if you dreamt it or something, but none of what you described ever happened" I choke out. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?! My subconscious screams at me. He is telling you he feels the same way as you. I don't know what happened. I was all geared up and ready to admit what had happened and I froze. Adam's look turns from one of complete adoration, to confusion, to anger and my heart plummets watching these emotions play out over his features.
"I did not dream it Sean, I heard it. I wasn't even asleep, I heard the whole thing and that's why I sent Christian to find you" he whispers looking close to tears.
"Seriously Adam, I'm your teacher, I wouldn't behave that way it would be totally unprofessional. It didn't happen" I reply trying to drive my point home, though I can't even remember what my point is. Suddenly his features darken and he is totally furious, I don't know whether to be scared or to swoon at the look he is giving me.
"Mr. Clearwater I want you to leave this hospital room now, and I don't want you to return. The very thought that you can come into here and only manage to tell me the truth when you presume I am asleep is beyond devastating to me and quite frankly I wish I had never even met you" He seethes dangerously quiet. I stand there with my mouth hanging open and my heart breaking over his words. Why did I deny it? I wonder if it is too late to back track.
"Adam I am..." I never manage to finish my sentence as Adam angrily shouts at me.
"I said get out. If you can't tell the truth the least you can do is follow instructions. This whole day has been nothing but disappointments to me and as far as I am concerned you can be added to the list of men I don't need in my life along with my father!" he almost screams at me.
I stare in even more shock trying to make my limbs move either towards him or away from him. Suddenly the brother has his hand on my shoulder staring at me menacingly. I didn't want to leave until I had sorted things with Adam, but the chances of that happening now are pretty slim.
"I think he asked you to leave; now are you going to walk or am I going to throw you out?" Christian seethes at me. Straightening my back and taking one more look at Adam I walked from the room. What have I done? Devastated I slowly walked from the hospital to the car.
Adam
As soon as Sean leaves the room the dam bursts, and I cry not just for what could have been or my Dad or for the accident, but mostly for being so stupid. How could I actually believe he meant one word that was coming out of his mouth? Christian is by my side in a second hugging me and trying to stop me from crying. I take comfort in his arms and cry until I eventually fall asleep.
I wake later to find Christian asleep in the chair next to me and I think about the events of the day. I can barely make sense of it all. Why would Sean come in here and say all of those things if he didn't really mean them and suddenly I realise exactly why he did it. Pity. He pitied me and the situation I was in so he told me what he thought I wanted to hear, what he thought would make me happy. But what I don't understand is why. How did he even know I liked him? Why was he in the ambulance? I remember that much. He was there he was singing and trying to soothe me and he held onto my hand so tight.
I feel like I am going to cry again and I wrap my arms around myself in a vain attempt to whole myself and the pain together. But suddenly something snaps in me and I know I'm not going to fall apart. I'm going to make him realise he wants me. I will not be ignored.
Marissa
My heart broke for my husband when he went to see Adam. I understand why Adam is angry, I'm angry too but seeing him like that, a shell of the man who used to be was too much to bear. As he made his way out of the hospital, I followed him out to the car, hell bent on finally resolving our issues, not just for me and him but for our family. When I get into the car I'm shocked by the obvious devastation burning its way through his body, and he looks at me through broken and hollow eyes. I crush myself too him wanting so desperately to stop the pain and suffering within the both of us.
"He hates me. My baby boy hates me. I have been so stupid and I have destroyed everything and now he hates me. What am I going to do?" He sobs barely understandable. I want to hold him and tell him, that everything will be ok but to say the truth, I'm not sure it will. Adam was the angriest I've ever seen him today and I know my son can be extremely stubborn when he wants to be. I am desperate not to admit it but I think this situation has blown our family apart.
Not knowing what else to do I take my husband in my eyes and cry with him. And finally I feel myself letting go of all the pain and anger I have stored up for so long and I forgive him, because for the first time I truly see he is sorry.
"We'll sort it out. We're going to work through this as a family you can move back into the house and we will fix this. I'm so sorry for the way I reacted; none of it is your fault. In the past or now" I manage to choke out between sobs trying to hold us both together.
3 Months Later
Adam
I've been home for the last month now and things have been a little weird especially between me and Dad. I'm not as angry as I was but now he has just become overbearing and protective of me and it's too much. If he isn't checking I'm ok twenty thousand times a day, he's trying to wrap me in cotton wool. I need him to back off and give me some sort of space. Christian has been the same. He can't seem to let the whole situation with Sean go; even though I've told him a million times that there is nothing to worry about.
My car as you can imagine was a total write off so I had to settle to sharing one with Christian until the insurance settlement comes through. Today will be the first time I will be driving since the accident, but that is not what has gotten me scared. Today is my first day back at college. I had had most of my work forwarded to me so I wasn't behind on the coursework front, but I had three assessments that I had to catch up on to be able to pass the year.
I woke up a little earlier so I could have a shower before I left, feeling nauseous the whole way through it. The thing I could not work out was whether I was going to be able to get Sean the way that I want him. I dress quickly in a blue jumper and chinos and rush down the stairs to have a quick breakfast I want to get there early so I leave soon after with Christian in tow. The journey to college is tense and awkward. My parents and Christian wanted me to take the rest of the year out and we had argued about it over and over and they weren't seeing my side of it. Of course my mum and dad don't know what happened between me and Sean but Christian is only piping up now because he does know what happened and it's getting on my last nerves. As we pull up to college I park the car and Christian gets out without even a word towards me and walks off to his classes. That hurts, because we have always been close and I don't that to be ruined.
I climb out of the car and look across the parking lot. Sean is walking into college with his head looking down. Wow he looks like shit, but still hot. His clothes though obviously clean have just been thrown together into an outfit. HE looks like he hasn't shaved in a while though the stubble is sexy! HE looks up to my direction and catches me staring at him. A look of shock and confusion passes his face before, he rushes into the college. I find myself chuckling at his obvious failed attempt to avoid me. Well buckle up Sean you can run but you can't hide!
Christian
Why does my brother have to be so stubborn even when we are trying to protect him? He's not ready to come back to college but of course he thinks he knows best. To be honest I'm so much worried about the physical harm he may come too he is pretty much healed up now but that teacher. I don't want him anywhere near Adam after the way he treated him. Adam has definitely not been the same since the accident and I know Sean has something to do with that as well.
When we arrived at the college I looked over to say something to him, but words failing me I just got out of the car silently. That hurt me but I just don't know what to say that won't result in an argument. I reach the entrance doors and decide to turn around and apologise to Adam for what I just did when I catch Sean and Adam staring at each other across the car park. Man Sean looks like shit! A couple of seconds later Sean rushes past me into the entrance of the college and I decide to follow him.
He was into the performing arts block and then into a classroom and begins unpacking his bag nervously. I slam the door as I enter to announce my presence, and his head shoots up before he narrows his eyes at me.
"Can I help you?" He asks with fake politeness. God this man is so full of himself, I would love to wipe that smug smile of his face.
"Yeah I'm Christian. I am.." He cuts me off.
"I know who you are, but you don't study performing arts so what are you doing here?" He asks me impatiently. Oh this guy is really pissing me off.
"I came to tell you to stay away from Adam. I am warning you.. If you put him through any kind of pain I will come back for you" I spit at him. I'm seething with anger as he begins laughing.
"Save it! This isn't some sort of action film. If you threaten me again I will have you thrown out of this college. And then I will deal with you myself. Do I make myself clear?" He whispers stalking over to me and getting right in my face. I want to hit him I really do but dad would go mad if I got kicked out. So instead I bite my tongue and walk out of the classroom as he watches me. I'm taking this pretentious mother fucker down if it's the last thing I do.
Sean
Shit! Fuck! I cannot catch a motherfucking break! I look like shit and I feel like shit. I just can't seem to function right since everything went down with Adam. I have never, ever felt like this about anyone and it is scaring the shit out of me. I cannot stop thinking about him at all. And just when I was thinking about how much I miss seeing his eyes I look up and he's staring at me. I could have died right then, I look a mess, nothing matches and I haven't shaved in like a week, I am seriously bordering on hobo life right now.
I look at him long enough to soak up as much of him as I can before I race off into my classroom to tidy myself up somehow. Just as I find a comb, my door slams making me jump and it's Christian, Adam's brother.
"Can I help you?" I ask just wanting to get rid of him so I can look nice for Adam. What the hell has this boy done to me?
"Yeah I'm Christian. I am.." I cut him off. Save the introductions your wasting my time little boy!
"I know who you are, but you don't study performing arts so what are you doing here?" I ask him impatiently. Oh this guy is really pissing me off.
"I came to tell you to stay away from Adam. I am warning you.. If you put him through any kind of pain I will come back for you" He spits at me. Before I can stop myself I start laughing. This guy can't be serious.
"Save it! This isn't some sort of action film. If you threaten me again I will have you thrown out of this college. And then I will deal with you myself. Do I make myself clear?" I whisper stalking over to him and getting right in his face. Fuck off punk! I need to get sorted. He walks out of the room and I hurriedly sort out my clothes and fix my hair. There's nothing I can do about the stubble right now but I think I make it work. I nervously take out my lesson plan and wait for him to arrive.
When he walks in with his friend Christine I have to physically stop myself from jumping into his arms. He looks real good and I want him, but I'm sure he doesn't want to talk to me after what happened and this makes things easier. Suddenly I feel stupid for getting so excited and getting sorted and everything. This is the way it has to be, I'm his teacher and he's my student. But if that is the case then why do I feel like shit.
Adam
He fixed himself up and a small part of me can't help smiling because I know he did that because he saw me. I know and he knows it, But I just gotta get him to admit it. Because of all of the class I had missed I had to sing in front of the class today and I was ready to really open up my, my lungs and sing. I had chosen my song and I had been through it enough that I knew it was going to be amazing. Me and Christine had just sat down and started talking when Sean called the class to attention and before I knew it, it was time for me to get up in front of the class.
Suddenly all the bravado and confidence I had before had been drained out of me as I wondered whether I was doing the right thing, as the track started I took a deep breath and all the pain and frustration poured out of me in the first line.
Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete
Listen to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release
Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all 'cause you won't
Listen
Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind
You should have known
Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
As I got to the chorus I looked dead into his eyes and he stared back at me in pure shock. I knew he had worked it out, I want him but I want him on my terms too and I won't be ignored or lied too. Christine started whooping and before I knew it the whole class was clapping along to the song and whooping. My confidence renewed I really got into the song and really felt the words, my eyes burning with even more intensity into his.
You should have listened, there is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago
Oh, I'm screaming out and my dreams will be heard
They will not be pushed aside on words
Into your own all 'cause you won't
Listen
Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind
You should have known
Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
As we were nearing the big finish I found myself completely taken over by the emotions of the song and I stepped down off the stage and started walking through the auditorium to him, to the man that I love and know that I will always love. My whole entire being was screaming out for him to hear me, and hold me and kiss me and tell me what I knew that he loved me too.
I don't know where I belong
I belong with you
_
But I'll be moving on_
I love you but I won't wait forever for you
If you don't, if you won't
Please take me now! My feet are moving of their own accord and there is nothing I can do to stop them. And I'm right in front of him, I can smell him and now I'm closer I can see the confusion and tears in his eyes. And I finish the song singing to him and only him, while the class laugh thinking I am pulling some kind of stunt.
Listen!! to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but I will complete
Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own, my own!!
As I finished the song I collapse the emotion completely taking over and pushing me over the edge. I manage to stand and take a weak bow as the class erupt into whooping and applause. Sean is looking at me still in shock as if he can't believe what he just saw. Suddenly I am overcome with the need to be sick and I rush out the classroom praying that I can make it too the toilet first. I get there and heave out my breakfast, feeling stupid for what I just did. I walk out and wash my hands and rinse my mouth out, thanking god I have chewing gum before I hear the door open and close. I turn to see Sean glaring at me shaking with anger. Oh Shit!
Sean
I can't believe he just did that. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. Nor have I ever felt so much love and emotion to one single person. He was singing the song right to me and by some stroke of luck the class was too busy partying and my heart was swelling. I knew that this was a situation I needed to deal with quickly, but I couldn't work out how I was going to do that. My life has been completely turned upside down since all of this started. I have stayed up most nights trying to work out how I was going to make up what happened at the hospital, but I just didn't see a way to do this and keep my job. The rules on teachers and relationships are quite rigid. Not under any circumstances.
When he runs out of the classroom I settle everyone down and follow to make sure he's ok. I walk into the bathroom just as he finishes up and I realise I'm angry. How could he do that? It was so stupid it could have quite easily raised some questions which could have put us all in some very awkward situations.
"Just what do you think you're doing Adam?" I snap with more venom in then I was meant too.
"What do you think I was doing? I was trying to get you to see how much I care about you" he snaps back shocked at my hostility. Come on Sean stand your ground.
"You can't do that! Look I don't know what you thought you heard when you was in the hospital but we can't.." He cuts me off.
"Don't you dare blame all of this on me Sean! I was quite happy I had a crush on my teacher and then everything was blown apart with what I KNOW you said when I was in hospital. And I haven't forgotten about you singing to me in the ambulance. And Christian said how you snuck into the hospital every day, so stop lying to me and yourself and grow yourself a pair of fucking balls!" He screams back at me. What am I doing? I need this boy so why do I keep pushing him away.
"Adam I just can't deal with this.." I stutter back unable to finish my sentence.
"Oh do you know what? Forget it. I can't deal with this either and I can't believe I wasted my time even thinking this would go anywhere. From now on we'll be exactly what you want teacher and student" He snaps back dejected. He pushes past me and storms out of the bathroom. Before I can stop myself or listen to reason I chase him down the hallway swing him round and my mouth is on his. And the world falls away.
We kiss each other hungrily clinging to each other like we would cease to exist without each other. And I feel complete and everything that ever made me feel bad drifted away. I knew that to be without this man would destroy me and no matter what I won't let anything get in the way of me and him. Suddenly we hear the door closing at the end of the corridor and it snaps us out of our blissful union. Shit we've been seen.
AUTHORS NOTE:
Hi guys sorry for how long it took me to finish this chapter. Unfortunately my partner died recently so I haven't been in the right frame of mind to do any writing but the chapters will be regular from now on. My apologies again.
So Adam and Sean finally kissed! It felt like it was never going to happen didn't it haha. But someone has seen them! What repercussions do you think there will be because of this? Do you think now they have kissed their relationship can finally start? And how do people feel about the fact that Daniel is back in the family home? And do you think Christian is being overprotective or just a big brother?
I know this chapter is kinda short but they will be longer in future and thank you so much for your emails of encouragement for the story they helped.
Keep emailing at achangeofheartsseries@hotmail.com.
Love
Josh x x