Dear readers,
I am back at long last. Thanks for the notes encouraging me to finish this story. This year has been even more of a challenge than 2020, so I apologize for the slow release of the book. It is finished and should be released on a regular basis.
Remember to be kind to each other right now.
Robert, my friend, this story is for you. Stay strong and know there are people rooting for you.
Also, remember to contribute to Nifty. This amazing site allows authors and readers to come together.
Mac
Florence - And Not the City in Italy Chapter 7
"Hey Flo, wha'cha know?"
"Stop that, or I will not talk to you."
Todd couldn't stop laughing. When Matan had called to ask about their honeymoon, Todd told him about the great renaming. When Matan said he would put Yonatan on the telephone, Todd said he didn't have time to talk any further because something was going on. Todd quickly hung up. Matan thought it odd but decided that Todd was pressured with his courses. He laughed later when he retold Yonatan the story, who also had a good chuckle.
It was the following Monday when Todd called his brother.
"Okay, Flo. I was calling to check on you."
"I am fine. Why wouldn't I be fine?"
"Good. I was worried about you and thought I would call to find out how my favorite brother was doing on a Monday morning."
Tayloe quickly realized that the call was not about him but Todd. They were several weeks post-honeymoon, and Todd was alone in Atlanta. This was the first time in his life that Todd had been on his own, and Tayloe was worried about his little brother. Todd was steady as a rock when dealing with many of life's situations, but when in love, he was a wobbly wonk. Todd had been described as "tightly wound," but that was totally off the mark when it involved his emotions with Erick. With Erick, he was gooey and chewy, and generally, Todd was pliable to Erick's wants and needs. Tayloe was concerned, though, because, during the last few telephone calls, Todd had seemed extreme and hide-bound in some of his thinking. There was no longer the global way of thinking about their friends and the world. Lost was a graciousness about other people. The boundaries had sharpened, and Todd was adamant that he was right about everything. He marked it off as the stringency of the course work, but Todd didn't have time for any bullshit, especially when it came from a certain one of their friends: Yonatan. Todd said he had talked with a therapist who agreed with Todd about his feelings. Todd had been prescribed medications to help cope with his anxieties.
"Well, Mabel Jean, how are you?"
"Mabel Jean? Where the hell did that come from?"
"Well, if I am Flo, then you can be Mabel Jean. How is Mabel Jean on a Monday morning?"
There was silence. Tayloe gave Todd all of the time he needed.
"Erick flew out first thing this morning, and I am already missing him so badly. I have a short break between classes and needed to hear your voice. Just talk to me. I am so homesick I can hardly stand it."
"Eron and I are doing well. He is getting settled into his office. I drop him off at the federal courthouse each morning as I head to my office. We meet in Shockoe Bottom for lunch each day. When we get home in the afternoon, we have drinks, and Eron unpacks boxes. That man has so much stuff. Each bibelot he unpacks has a story, and I am learning all about his life P.T."
"What is P.T.?"
"Pre-Tayloe. There is so much that we don't know about each other, and this is a way for us to learn. On Wednesday nights, Edna Mae comes to Richmond, and we go to Windsor Farm to eat with mom and dad."
Todd was laughing.
"Edna Mae? Wait until I tell Erick that is his new name. He will probably take it out on you when he comes to dinner this week."
"Well, it is his fault. He told mom and dad about the name Flo. Now mom calls me Flo when I try to help Eron with something. Dad won't call me that name."
"Well, that is good. I can't imagine dad calling you Flo."
"It's worse. Dad calls me Florence."
Todd was guffawing.
"Well, Tayloe, notice I am not calling you Flo. You have brightened my day. I think I can get through the week. Please tell your handsome husband hello for me."
They hung up, and Todd did feel better. The weekend with Erick had been wonderful/sad. The two had fun exploring Atlanta, eating at the Varsity, and driving up to Vidalia. Erick was discovering Atlanta and enjoying everything he saw. Todd loved being with Erick but knew that their time together was ending on Monday morning, and no matter how much he was enjoying himself, the departure time of the plane was imprinted on his brain. They awoke early on Monday to drive to the airport. Todd would not consider Erick taking MARTA. Erick looked out as they headed south to the airport and saw that the train tracks paralleled the road. Todd laughed and raced the train that was heading to the airport. The train arrived at the terminal first because Todd became caught up in the early morning departure traffic. Erick had a small carry-on bag because the two men shared clothes. Todd pulled into the kiss and run lane. They kissed, and then Erick backed himself out of the car, never taking his eyes off of his husband. He stood on the sidewalk until the car disappeared.
The weekend had been perfect except for one small fight. Erick had recounted the commitment ceremonies and said that he had written a long thank you letter to Yonatan and Matan. He asked Todd if he had written the guys, and he received a scrunched-up face in response.
"You should really write them, Todd. Without Yonatan, I don't know that it would have happened."
"Yonatan this, Yonatan that. Does he fucking walk on water? Everyone bows down to our friend as if he was some God."
Erick was shocked because this was the first time that Todd had voiced such a sentiment.
"I don't understand, Todd."
"Do you notice how he pays for everything? It is to make us beholden to him and Matan. We have to check with Yonatan on decisions to see if he agrees. If he was such a good person, why hasn't he split the family fortune with you and Eron? He acts as if it is his money."
"Well, it is the Feldsher family money. It is not Emmanuelson money."
"Fuck that. Your family deserves their share of that money."
"Todd, I don't want to argue about something we have no control over. I know that Yonatan talked with the lawyers about what to do. I thought you liked Yonatan and Matan."
"I like Matan but am sick of the way that Yonatan acts. He probably told the lawyers to make sure you didn't get your share. I bet those seizure things he has occur when he isn't controlling the world. He is such a fake. Now he is a rich fake. He makes me sick."
"Todd, does Tayloe feel the same way?"
"I don't know. I am probably the only one who sees through the bull shit."
Erick changed the topic and decided he would talk with Tayloe and Eron to find if they knew about Todd's attitude because he thought Yonatan and Matan were the best friends in the world. They did insist on paying for things, but it was never with strings attached. He never assumed that his family would receive part of the Feldsher money. It certainly was bothering his husband, though. Erick saw some pill bottles in the kitchen and asked Todd about them.
"The pressures are so great, I went to the clinic, and they prescribed medicine to help me deal with anxiety. You don't understand the pressure I face each day. It is different than you writing about some historical stuff. My studies are difficult shit, and I am working my ass off."
Erick was even more concerned. He didn't think the pressures with the program were worth Todd being prescribed anxiety medicine. There were other fields that wouldn't be so difficult, but he knew that Todd had his sights set on becoming a medical doctor. Hopefully, he would be able to tolerate some of the pressures the longer the program went by. If Todd was having this level of anxiety now, Erick hated to think of the pressures during medical school.
Todd didn't tell Erick about the nightmares and the sleepless nights. He talked to his doctor and was told that they were recognized side effects of the medication but generally were minimal and should disappear in time. It was the jittery hands that bothered him the most. He had always prided himself on his penmanship, but that was not the case anymore.
Erick arrived back at the apartment in Williamsburg and put his bag away. He didn't know why he even bothered to carry it. Inside were a couple of textbooks he was thinking about using for the spring semester, and he needed to let the publisher know whether they would be included in his survey courses. On Monday night, he went to the campus where he taught his one course for the summer. It was a survey course, and it was an odd mix of students. Some were students who had graduated high school and wanted to get a head start on their required courses, other students were upper-level students who had waited to take the course, and there were a few students from other colleges who were taking the course and then transfer the credit to their college.
When he got home from class, Nash was sitting in the living room. Nash was staying at the apartment until he was to leave for Brussels. Nash had an unpleasant encounter with his parents, and it was unclear whether they kicked him out or whether he just walked out. It had started when Jan called one day asking for Nash. His mother asked Nash if he had a picture of Jan. Nash pulled out his wallet and showed her a picture of the holiday dance where the two of them were photographed. His mother looked at the picture, turned to look at Nash, and then didn't say anything. That night at dinner, Nash's father asked him why he was dating a black woman. Nash said they were friends, both history majors, and had a good time together.
"I don't want my son dating a black woman."
"Why?"
"If you need to ask, I screwed up raising you. Good white men don't date black women. That is worse than if you were dating some man."
"Good, because I do date men."
Those words came out of Nash's mouth before he could stop them. There was complete silence around the table.
"Are you saying you are a faggot?"
"I am saying that I date men."
"No son of mine is going to be a faggot. A faggot that dates a black woman. How far are you going to sink in life? Don't you know the Bible forbids dating other races, and your homosexuality is an abomination? I will not have you live in my house. I cannot support such a deviant lifestyle."
Nash stood up from his chair, looked at his parents, and did not say a word. He went upstairs to pack his clothes and then came downstairs to stow them in his car. Nothing was said before he drove east, away from Charlottesville. It was when he saw the sign for the rest area that he knew he needed to stop. He pulled in, turned off the car, and sat in stunned silence. It had all been so civil or as civil as any conversation with his father. He had not fought back. He had spoken the truth without defensiveness. He had chosen to act with dignity, and fighting with his parents was not gentlemanly.
Nash got out of the car and walked to the lookout. At that moment, the food he had eaten at dinner rebelled against his gut, and he threw up. He heaved and heaved. Good, he thought, it is all out of my system. Even the food from their table was no longer part of him. He considered himself done. Nash had withstood put- downs and verbal abuse his entire life, and now he had made a clean break. He knew that he would live poor the rest of his time at William and Mary, but he had his football scholarship, which would provide him a bed and food. Hopefully, he could find a part-time job during the school year to have some spending money.
He was amazed that he was taking it so well, except for puking. Maybe it was a dream, and he would wake up tomorrow, and he would be in his bed. He knew that wasn't true and realized that the pressure he felt in his chest every time he thought about his family was now gone. Tears welled in his eyes, both at the loss of his family and the fact that it didn't bother him as much as he thought it would. He assumed he would have been devastated, but oddly he just felt relief.
When he arrived in Williamsburg, the apartment was empty, but he had a key that Erick had given to him saying that he could stay any time he needed. He let himself in and thought that Erick was probably in Atlanta.
When Erick returned from class, Nash told him about the encounter with his parents. Nash asked if he could stay in the apartment, and Erick was only too happy to have the company. Nash said he would clean the apartment and do the laundry to pay for staying there. Erick realized that Nash needed to do something to maintain some self-respect and thought that was a good trade-off.
That Wednesday, Erick drove to Richmond and talked with Tayloe and Eron about Todd. Tayloe said that Todd was extremely lonely, but he didn't think there was anything other than that. Erick said that something was different and that he had not experienced that level of anger in Todd prior to that weekend. He wondered if it had anything to do with the medicine. Tayloe said it was probably just the stress of being alone for the first time in his life.
"Even when he was at William and Mary, we were just an hour away. He would show up for dinner a couple of nights a week. Mom and dad would talk about him being the baby and that they needed to cut some apron strings. Neither of them would do it because Todd always got what Todd wanted."
"Okay, I will go along with that, Tayloe. Maybe I need to spend more time in Atlanta with him. I teach one night a week, and Nash is now staying at the apartment, so I don't mind leaving it."
"Don't say anything to mom and dad, or they will drive to Atlanta tomorrow morning to bring their baby boy back home."
They all laughed and then drove to Windsor Farms, where they knew a home-cooked meal was awaiting them.