This is my first story. I'd like to hear from anyone willing to write me. All comments, questions, criticisms or anything else gratefully accepted and appreciated at xiot@hotmail.com
As I sit in the comforts of my favorite chair I simply lean back and enjoy another episode in what was becoming one of my favorite pastimes. I loved to just sit there and stare at him. I think it made it even better that he had no clue as to what I was doing. He would catch me staring a lot and I would not shy away at all. I would just stare directly into his eyes and play it off as though I was just weird or whatever. He seemed to have that firmly established already anyways. I think I could do things to him that no one else could without seriously arousing his suspicions because I had the cover of labels like freak and weirdo to hide behind. He labelled me but didn't renounce me, so in he end it worked to my advantage. He just accepted me as I was. Not necessarily a good thing as this meant he almost never took me seriously, but I suppose I can't ask for everything.
So here I am yet again staring away. I suppose it gave me slight feelings of guilt every now and then but nothing serious. I certainly had no problem enjoying touching him when the opportunities arose, under numerous guises, most notably the oft-used wrestling mockery. I think I had more than crossed the line, as I suppose he has as well. Playful touching has occurred on numerous occasions. Admittedly though I have been the aggressor. Actually, he would usually initiate the first contact and then I would proceed to move on to other things. His laughter and smiling keeps me going. I know it's kinda risky grabbing at him through the front of his jeans and poking him through the back but based on his reactions I'm guessing he doesn't mind so much.
So I'm still sitting here staring. I never have what it takes to go for anything further. It's the drawback of being as shy as I am as well as my tendency to play mind games with people. I strive to never let anyone know what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling. I'm just way too scared as to how he'd react. I couldn't have him spreading all kinds of news about me. I despise attention. I also don't want to frighten him off. As torturous as it is I still absolutely love just staring at him as I am right now. It's probably in my best interests to keep everything as it is. Me being totally secretive about how I feel and just living through staring, which maybe I can use in dreams later on.
I've been staring for a while now. I think he sees me out of the corner of his eyes. I wonder if he's known all along. He finally looks up and our eyes meet. One key I always try to keep in place is that I don't give anything away with my facial expressions. I try to look either totally blank or perhaps exhibit the slightest smirk. Not any sort of happy smile but just a little knowing or mischievous grin. This is no exception. He responds in his usual way also.
"What?" he asks coldly.
I just hold my smirk.
"What the fuck are you staring at?"
I just hold my smirk. He can't help but to smile a little bit now. I follow suit and allow my lips to curve upwards just a little bit as well.
"Oh I get it, I get it, you want a piece of this? Is that what you want?" he says in a tone that means he wants to wrestle.
I just hold my smirk.
"Oh you don't? Good 'cause I didn't wanna have to kick your ass anyways," he says with a big grin.
"Ooooohhhhh," I finally say in a tone of mock pain.
"Suck my dick."
He says it in an aggressive way as an attempt to insult me. He has said this many times before. I always reply "pull it out" in hopes that maybe one day he will. But this time I don't reply at all. Almost without hesitation I react.
I make a move right away to the couch where he's sitting. Once there I kneel down in front of him and place my hands on his knees. He is wearing jeans so there is no direct skin contact but just being in contact with him at all sends a shockwave through me. I stare directly at his crotch, which gives nothing away as he is wearing baggy jeans. I scroll up to see his face. He has a completely serious look. I was half-expecting to hear him say "get the fuck off me" as he usually does whenever I make physical contact with him, although it is also usually quite half-hearted. But this time he says nothing. This time it's him who is not giving anything away by his facial expression. The blank look on his face tells me that I'm in control right now. No, not really in control, but it is my move. So I slowly start to move my hands up his legs. I see no response from him. I return my focus to his crotch and legs. Watching and feeling as my hands begin to move up his thighs gives me an incredible sense of excitement. I reach mid-thigh and am wildly thinking of what I will do when I run out of space. As I reach his upper thighs I hear him gasp.
"Uhhhmmm..." he is whispering now, in the cutest little voice that makes him sound as though he is about 10 years old. The tone is unsure and questioning. I don't want to but I know I must stop until I know he's ok with it.
I look up at him. His eyes are staring down at my hands and their positioning on his body. I think he was enjoying it until he looked down and saw what was happening. The pleasures we receive from what we see and what we feel often conflict. They certainly do for him here. He lifts his eyes from my hands and meets my gaze now. He looks scared to me.
"What?" I ask, trying to sound as concerned as possible because I truly am.
"What are you doing?" he asks very rhetorically. He just needed a stall tactic.
"Jet-skiing," I reply with a smirk. This has always been one of his favorite smart-ass replies to any question of what he's doing.
"No, I mean, uhhmm..."
"I'm sorry, do you want me to stop?" It hurts for me to ask this question. To be in this position and now offer him an easy way out seems very counter-productive.
"Are you, what's, uh, this is..." He stammers through the words in a feeble attempt at opposition that lacks his heart's support. I now know that he's scared to death. Scared of what will happen if he lets his guard down. But at the same time I think there is a side of him that wants this really bad as well. He's just afraid of what he is feeling and the way it conflicts with how he has been taught to feel.
"No," he finally spits out, whispering again. He manages a slight, nervous smile this time. I think I know which side of him has won out.
"Hey, seriously, just tell me what your feeling. We'll do whatever you want and nothing more ok? I don't want you to be uncomfortable."
I knew it came out a little too cliche sounding, but I had to say it. There's no way I could just go on like this. I kind of felt like I was taking advantage of him. But at the same time he seemed like he really needed someone to help him along. I just needed his ok.
"Ok," he whispered.
I was so relieved. I was scared that he would rethink it and pull away. But now it seemed as though he was gonna let me do what I wanted.
"If I do anything you don't like or don't wanna do just say so ok?"
"Ok," he whispered again, this time with a tinge of impatience in his voice. "Just don't go too crazy or too fast ok?
I knew for sure that he wanted this now and I grinned at him. He grinned back shyly. He was a bit embarrassed but that just made him even cuter.
With that I turned my attention back to my hands and his thighs. I squeezed gently at the soft flesh underneath. He placed his hands on the back of my head and he leaned forward a little bit. I could feel him just above me, hovering, and I could feel his warm breath as it blew into my hair. I was overcome with emotion. Without any warning or care what would happen I took one quick move and lifted my head up and stole a kiss from his lips. This may seem like nothing but in reality it means a lot. It's a crossover from the world of sex to the world of love. If you just screw around with sex then you can still hide behind the idea of being horny friends who are merely experimenting and having fun. But with a kiss comes the notion of something more.
And there was more, a lot more. I loved him so terribly much. I can't count how many times I'd think of him or fantasize about him. I've loved just staring at him for quite some time now. It went further than physical love though. I found myself just missing his presence all the time. As a friend, his personality, his manner of speaking, his playfulness, even his inevitable insults I adored. I've never felt like this for anybody or anything in the world. And now here I am kissing him.
Admittedly it was a very weak kiss, more a peck than anything else. I just made quick contact between our lips. I just had to do it. The ever so brief contact was still nice because I knew it was his lips I was touching. I wish I didn't have to force it like this but I was a bit panicky, scared of how he would react.
His reaction was pretty much non-existent. He did virtually nothing except stare at me. He didn't say a word, he didn't push me away, he didn't pull me closer. I saw fear in his eyes again.
I was afraid too. I didn't care though. I moved in once again. He did not react so I continued, much slower this time. I closed my eyes. I paused for a moment in close to his face. I wanted to feel his breath on my face. But I didn't. He was holding it, just as he has withheld everything else I've ever wanted from him. I made my final move and our lips met for a second time. It was still a weak kiss. Our lips were closed and things still felt awkward. It was him who broke the ice a bit. I felt his lips move a bit. Then a gap formed between them. The awkwardness instantly left me and for the first time I felt it. Up to this point my body had gone numb. Now all the feeling rushed back into me at once. The warmth and softness of his lips, the warmth of his thighs which my hands still held tightly and the surprising warmth of his hands which now gripped my sides. I opened my lips as well. I've never kissed anyone before so this was all new to me and it was beautiful. I wanted so badly to shove my tongue in his mouth but once again I was a bit afraid. I said "fuck it" to myself and went for it. I decided to do it fast in one quick thrust. As I pushed my tongue forward forcefully I was completely taken by surprise as I bumped into his tongue halfway. He must have been thinking the same thing. I couldn't help but giggle. I opened my eyes to find him staring back at me. He wasn't laughing though. He looked scared again, but still oh so cute. I started laughing a bit harder. As I looked at him I noticed he started to look hurt. I realized how awkward he must still feel. He probably still wasn't sure what was happening. I didn't want him to think I was just messing with him.
"I'm sorry," I said softly. "It was funny though," I said with a smile.
He smiled back this time. I took my right hand off his thigh and caressed his face. It was so soft and silky. I moved in yet again to kiss him. This time we both carried on right where we had left off. Our tongues met almost immediately. The sensation of our lips first touching was incredible as the warmth and softness had blown me away. Our tongues first touching was both a similar and different experience. Almost as soft, even more warm, even more sensitive and covered with saliva. The taste was nothing like I could have expected and is something I still cannot describe properly. It was enough to make me almost fall over. We continued in our first true kiss for a few moments more and I was completely lost in his mouth. My right hand was still holding his face. I felt his hand on top of mine. He grabbed it and slowly guided it back to his thigh. He didn't have to coax me any further. I slowly began to break our kiss off. I didn't want to release our liplock but I realized there were other things at hand. As our faces separated we stared at each other again, with our awkwardness fading. This time we gazed with love and lust. And smiles.
My head was swimming. I didn't know where to begin. But then again I wondered how he would respond to all the things I wanted to do. He might be expecting me to just open his pants and go to work. But I wanted to be slower and more sensual with him. I didn't want to waste a single moment of our time together. But based on the kiss we'd just had and the way he reacted to it I figured he wouldn't be totally against it. I think I've always known that deep down he has a soft loving side to himself beneath the rough exterior he shows off. This was an opportunity for both of us to finally get in touch with it.
He had placed my hand back on his thigh but I wanted to start elsewhere. So I slid my hands up his thighs near his hips and continued up to his stomach. His body was tense and I could feel it in his tight abdomen muscles. I slowly moved my hands up his sides still enjoying just the heat and knowing it was him underneath the fabric of his shirt. I moved in towards his breasts and gently rubbed his nipples through his shirt once I found them. I quickly receded back down to his waist area. I slipped my fingers in underneath his shirt and felt the real flesh of his body for the first time. It did not disappoint. I paused for just a moment as soon as I felt skin. It was warm and soft just like his lips were, but pleasing in a very different manner. I had just barely begun to move my hands up when my left index finger sank in a bit. My body smiled as my mind registered it as his belly button. I took some time to poke and prod around it softly. After a short time of this I continued my ascent. I took just the tips of my fingers and very gently, barely touching him at all, slid them slowly up his sides. I felt him shiver. I think the shivering excited me more than anything else had up to this point. I applied more and more pressure until my whole hands were pressing firmly on his chest. His skinny frame allowed me to feel the bones of his ribcage underneath. I traced the outlines of most of those bones before finally moving on. I moved further up until my fingers found his nipples once again. I gently rubbed them just as I had moments ago but this time without any fabric to separate us. I heard him exhale deeply. I looked up and saw his head held back and his eyes closed. I knew he was mine. And that I was his even more.
I grasped the bottom of his shirt and slid it slowly up towards his head. He raised his arms so I could slide it off his body completely. As I dropped it on the floor next to me I backed off for a moment to take in the splendor of his bare torso. There was nothing in this world that I wanted more. If I could have I would've put myself inside his body and just snuggled up there for the rest of the night. But alas I had to settle for this instead.
My hands grasped his sides once again and I gently laid my head down on his chest. It made contact with my right cheek touching him right in the center of his body. I turned my head to give my mouth access to the flesh I've craved for so long now. I placed my first delicate kiss on his body just beneath his left breast. My body tingled as my lips touched his skin. I removed my mouth from his body and stuck out my tongue. With just the tip of my tongue I traced a line across from his left side to his right. I then moved diagonally downwards to find his belly button once again. I let just my tongue explore inside for a while before moving my lips back down to his body as well. My tongue continued it's work inside as my lips sucked at the surrounding area. After what seemed like forever I released him from my lips and moved diagonally upwards to the left this time, returning to the spot where my mouth had first made contact with him. I took time to worship this sacred spot as I hoped I would be able to many times again in the future.
After paying what I deemed sufficient homage I allowed myself to move up to his left breast. I traced circles around the nipple with my tongue. After completing the second revolution I let my tongue glide onto his nipple and just sit there for a moment. I think the heat of my tongue on his nipple affected him as much as it did me as he let out a slight moan. I was startled as I had almost forgotten he even existed here as a conscious being rather than just beautiful flesh. This revelation only made things better as I realized I wasn't the only one I was pleasing here. I didn't want to bore him though so after a few licks and sucks of his left nipple I repeated the procedure on his right and decided it was time to move on. I let myself pause for a few moments though. I laid my head on the right side of his chest with my ear on his breast. I could feel the vibrations of his heartbeat enter my ear and echo all throughout my body. I could smell very faintly the most beautiful scent I had ever inhaled. I positioned my nose closer to his armpit to take it in even more. He didn't smell overbearingly of sweat nor of anti-perspirant. He just smelled perfect.
I took a few more deep breaths and allowed myself to move on. I chuckled to myself as my patience wore thin when confronted with the thick fabric that I had forgotten about and now was blocking me from what I desired. My fingers lingered around his waist for just a second before finally undoing the button of his jeans. Next they slowly pulled down the zipper that constricted him so much at this time. I was rewarded with the gorgeous sight of him bulging in his cute blue and green flannel boxers. My passions rose at this view and I could barely contain myself any longer. I grabbed his jeans and slowly tugged on them, revealing inch by inch more and more of his lower body. My eyes moved away from his boxers to his smooth thighs as they were revealed, then followed along slowly to his knees and calves. With his jeans now bunched up at his ankles I took the opportunity to move my hands back up to his thighs and ever so slowly let them crawl down the smooth flesh. My hands followed the same route my eyes just had as they felt first his thighs then knees and ended up on his calves. My mouth had been empty for almost two minutes now and I couldn't help but to give it more of what it hungered for. I placed my lips on his left thigh and let them follow the very same trail my eyes and hands just had. Upon reaching his calf I loitered there for a time before remembering what lay ahead of me. I lifted his left foot and slid his jeans off that side and followed with the right. I smiled at his socked feet. I let my hands reach down and massage each of them in turn through his socks. I let it go at that though. Bare feet are the one thing I don't have a taste for. But his were oh so cute through his black socks.
After a last squeeze of each foot my mouth reversed it's previous route back up his right leg, still taking time out to explore each of the beautiful sights along the way. Upon reaching his boxers I let my tongue slip just underneath the edge of the fabric and onto skin that lay hidden from my eyes. I let it stay there for a while as I thought about other things that I couldn't see right now. After a moment to gather my thoughts I lifted my head up and gazed at the beautiful sight before me. I took this moment to look up into his eyes again. The look he gave me back shattered any doubts I had of whether or not he would want me to go any further. With that clearly understood I scanned down his body again. Across the chest I had worshipped earlier, at the belly button I had probed, to the boxers I adored, down the path of his legs that I had thrice followed and lastly at those cute feet I drew the line at. The smile on my face must have been a mile wide. It quickly rescinded though as I returned to reality and focused again on the task at hand. I moved my face right up alongside his boxers and scanned the beauty outlined by them. I inhaled deeply taking in the slightly different aroma his body emitted in this area. It smelled very good but at the same time caused me pain like the smell of nearby food on the street does when I'm broke and starving. Only this time the food was right there for my taking. I moved extremely slowly as my left hand crept towards the center of his boxers. As gently as I possibly could I let it come to rest on the bulge that I knew he had been painfully enduring for quite some time now. It twitched as soon as contact was made and I felt a domino effect as my entire body twitched along with it. Even through the fabric it was warmer than any other part of his body had been except his mouth. I heard a slight whimper escape his lips. I decided that I had tortured him more than was fair and agreed to finally release him. I moved my hands back to his waist and moved my fingers just underneath the elastic band of his boxers. Pausing again for a moment, I rubbed for the last time flesh that would be hidden and forbidden from my eyes as well as the rest of me.
The bulge beneath his boxers showed me his erect penis pointing straight up so I knew there was to be no drama once I began to tug at his underwear. I let the fabric be pushed down by my fingers and watched closely as the head of his cock appeared naked before my eyes. I was excited to say the least. I decided not to delay any further and I continued the steady tug on his boxers and revealed more and more of his dick to my yearning eyes. Upon reaching the base my eyes were now full with five and a half inches of pure and raw beauty. Lastly my eyes were acquainted with the two smooth and almost equally beautiful testicles that hung just below. I let the boxers slide down his legs and pulled them all the way off, finally fully removing the last of the fabric obstacles that impeded all that I wanted, the entirety of him. My eyes returned to his hard dick and my hands trembled at the thought of touching it's bareness. I remained just as gentle as I had been the whole time as my left hand reached up and for the first time touched the flesh of his cock. It twitched again on contact and also grew slightly in size, particularly the head. I moved my right hand in as well now to caress his dick with the attention it deserved. I let my left hand now reach down and cup the dangling balls that hung so tantalizingly below. I squeezed them gently before rolling each of them individually through my fingers.
I was very surprised at how I was feeling. I was feeling incredibly good but not at all how I expected. I was not overcome with lust at this time but with love. Yes I desired him in a very physical way but it was accompanied with the depth and power of real love that I didn't know would be here along with it. I thought I would be consumed with lust at a time like this but it was real love that filled me instead.
This passed through my mind very briefly though as I decided to just let it go and ride whatever feelings may come to me. What my eyes and hands now had my mouth longed for terribly. Without hesitation now I leaned right in with my tongue stuck out and licked a line straight up from the bottom of his scrotum all the way up to the tip of his cock. Upon reaching the top I noticed a small bit of precum at his slit. I put my tongue back in my mouth and closed my lips. I slowly and gently began running the tip of his dick around my mouth, basically tracing an outline of my lips with his precum. Eventually I centered his cock with my still closed lips and began to rub it back and forth along them. Then I finally allowed my lips to part and my mouth to surround completely the tip of his cock. I relished the taste of it in my mouth. I didn't ever want to forget this moment. I slowly moved my head down on his dick and in time I surprisingly found myself easily at the base. This was my first time ever with a penis in my mouth and I suppose I was just lucky he had a dick that wasn't too long. Once at his base I just stayed there for a while, enjoying the feeling of fullness my mouth now experienced that it had never felt before.
I slowly pulled my mouth up off his cock and watched as his beautiful dick seemed to magically reappear before my eyes. I watched and was amazed at how different it looked now. It was swollen larger than it was moments ago and it glistened with the wetness of my saliva all over it. I was fascinated by the shiny look it now had and the knowledge that it was my own saliva that made it look that way. My left hand grasped his shaft firmly at the base and worked it's way upwards. It felt fantastic as it glided so smoothly along the liquid coated skin. I saw a large pool of precum form at the tip of his dick. I leaned back in slowly to gently lick at the tip of his dick. I slowly ran my tongue across the pool of precum. The taste was incredible, unlike that of anywhere else on his body. It was wonderfully sweet and it's taste brought me to a special place I'd never been before. As I pulled my head back a long sticky string of his precum still connected his cock to my mouth. I was incredibly turned on at this point and I felt most of my patience leaving me.
My head came back down out of the clouds at this time and my ears registered the sounds of his deep moans now. I dove down to take each of his balls into my mouth individually at first and then both at once. The smell of him here made me dizzy. It was so deep and rich in his sweaty odor of sex and it made my mind groan and growl with a hunger it had never felt before. The taste was once again unlike any other but equally fantastic. After fully drenching them with my spit I let my right hand take over on them and moved my mouth back to his waiting cock. I went about halfway down on him and let my tongue play with the sensitive skin just below the head. He moaned and quivered in approval. I sensed he was getting really worked up now and so continued sucking him down deeply again. I took him fully into my mouth with quickness and didn't hesitate for even a moment to pull off and then quickly repeat the process again. I knew he wasn't going to last much longer and I wanted as much of him as I could get. He began to moan louder now and he also began thrusting his hips forward forcing his dick as far into my mouth as was possible. The quick and gentle feelings of his pubic hair against my nose tickled me and for a moment I even feared I would have to sneeze. After a few more times up and down his shaft his moans turned into loud groans and I knew his moment was at hand.
My right hand squeezed his balls firmly while my left hand wandered up to rub his nipples. He quickly grabbed that hand however and stuck my index and middle fingers in his mouth and began sucking on them. Only a few seconds later I felt his hips thrust forward and stay that way as his muscles all went tight. His mouth sucked hard on my fingers and my mouth sucked harder and faster than ever on his cock. I felt the first shot of his cum hit the roof of my mouth and then the rest became a blur of wetness in my mouth as I continued to suck him as deep as I could. I seriously wondered who was enjoying themself more at this moment. Soon his hips relaxed back down onto the couch. His mouth let up a bit on my fingers although he kept them in his mouth still. My right hand released some of it's pressure on his balls and my mouth slowed down to a nice easy pace on his now spent cock. I took some time to savor the taste of his cum in my mouth. I didn't like it nearly as much as the rest of the tastes he had provided me with but I swallowed it anyways. I took the time to milk his dick for all the cum left inside before finally releasing it from the confines of my mouth, instantly noting how empty I felt. I laid my head on his right thigh as I watched his cock already begin to shrink a little bit. My right hand relinquished his balls and found a home on his left thigh. He released my fingers from his mouth and I felt the chill of cold air on my fingers which had been so warmly covered in his saliva.
I was afraid to look up at him, afraid of what I might see. Now that it was over the feelings might all change. I just waited and enjoyed what I had for the moment. In time I felt his hands on my head. His left hand reached underneath my chin and lifted my head up so our eyes would meet. I saw something in his eyes I really didn't expect. They were blank. His hand moved from my chin down underneath my left armpit. I felt him tugging up on me. I let my body be guided by him. He pulled me up and towards him. I collapsed onto the couch with him, my head resting on his chest again, my lips at that same sacred place just below his left breast, our hips touching, our legs intertwined. I felt his hand pulling on my chin again and this time when our eyes met he leaned down to kiss me. It was just as nice as our first one had been. We held it for some time and when he released me I looked into his eyes again and saw a single tear searing down the left side of his face. I reached up with my left index finger and wiped it off. I brought that finger slowly to my mouth and tasted yet another aspect of him. This one was by far the best.