It's been three days since my first encounter with Frank and I've been avoiding him all week. How could I possibly confront him after I awkwardly ran out on him on Monday? It'd be so awkward if I were to go there and explain to him everything. And I mean, shit, I'd have to tell him I'm gay, and do I even know if I'm ready for that?
I guess I'll tell you a little more about myself. I was born in Seattle, Washington. We lived there for a few years until my dad got a new job and we moved here to NJ. I guess the first time I really noticed I was different from other boys was when I saw this boy who lived close to my neighborhood. His name was Tyler Furlong and he was the eldest of three brothers. I was too young to know what "gay" meant, and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to put two and two together. I just wanted to get to know him, to be really good friends with him. I was always too shy though. He had dirty brown hair and I think a few freckles, from the few physical features I was able to make out without ever getting too close to him.
I remember one day during summer vacation, I was walking home, and I saw him playing basketball with his shirt off on his driveway. Something about that image just stuck in my mind, and I just couldn't stop looking. I wanted to get close with him but was never able to. Something about muscly shirtless boys just did something to me that I couldn't describe. It wasn't really until book-cover-boy a year or two later that I had that "oh shit" moment. Three years later, here I am now at Waterford Hills Regional High School.
It's lunch now. And guess what? Last night I had a wet dream. About Frank of course. We were in his room in his house, even though I don't know what his room even looks like. He had some football posters up on the walls and of course some scantily-clad women. But all his attention was directed at me. He was fucking me and I was gasping for air. He kept whispering the hottest shit in my ear and he was pushing his cock deep inside of me and all the way out.
"You won't be able to walk for a week after I'm done with you." "You see that tv-remote. You know I'm bigger. I know you can feel it." "On your face? Or you want me to fill you up?" And right as we both climax, I wake up, to find a slippery feeling in my underwear. I'm getting hard now just thinking about it.
"Jason! There you are." I heard his voice but pretended not to. I picked up my tray to go to the trash to dump out the remainder of my chicken tenders and fries. After doing so, I walked straight out the cafeteria. He was much faster than me though. I felt a hand reach around my shoulder.
"Hey dude, is everything okay? I haven't seen you all week. Why did you run out like that on monday?" Frank asked.
"Oh heeeey... Frank. Yeah, I've been really busy with stuff. I'll catch you later." I said as I disappeared into a crowd. What the hell was I supposed to do? One way or another, he was gonna find out that I'm gay if I continue to spend time with him, and I'm just no okay with that! Or am I? He seems like a nice dude. He'd probably be okay with it.
I sighed and ran it through my mind.
"It's going to be fine." I told myself. I need to tell someone.
Right after school, I went to the football fields to try and find him, and there he was. I couldn't see his face but how could I forget he was number 88? Oh boy. Ohhh boy. This seemed so much easier when I played it in my head before. But holy shit, this is actually terrifying.
"Hey... Frank?" I sheepishly said behind him. He turned around and I immediately gulped. He took off his helmet and I was met once again with that God-like charming face and a smile that could electrify my heart and my dick.
"Hey, Jason. Not gonna run off a third time?" There was a little sarcasm in his tone.
"No, um... you see... I'm..." I started to shake. I almost said the word when I heard a whistle blow.
"Could we actually speak when this is over?" Frank says as he heads back to practice. I sigh with both relief and pain. Just prolonging the time until I peel off this bandaid. And it's gonna hurt like a motherfucker. I watched him through practice, and he was an absolute beast on the field. It's weird to think he can be so gentle nice to me and yet so rough and beastly on the field. It actually makes me feel all giddy on the inside that he shows that side of himself to me.
Practice ended and the feeling of butterflies in my stomach was here once again. I waited at the front of the school after they got changed in the locker room. There was no way I was going in there, if I was even allowed. Now way I was going to embarrass myself again.
"Jason!" I heard from behind me. And it's suddenly like lunch today again. Except this time I'm not gonna run. "So what were you going to talk to me about?" He asks and I can smell him again. It's the same smell that first time in the library, but much stronger this time as he'd just played on a football field. And it's even hotter than in my fantasy. Jesus, it's like he was oozing masculinity. It was fresh and musky at the same time.
"Well..." I just kind of stared into space for a few seconds. This was surreal, but it is real. It's actually happening right now. It's happening this very second. Someone is going to know my secret. I take a breath, still not looking at him (I just couldn't), I just let the two words fall out my mouth, my body doing more of the work than my mind.
"I'm gay." I say and I immediately tense up. I don't know if those are words I had ever actually said out loud to myself. I waited for a response for a second or two. I think tears were starting to well up in my eyes.
"Jason..." he said. He bent his head towards the direction I was facing. I think he knew how I was feeling. Without saying anything else, he pulls me in for a big hug. He didn't seem to care that we were in public, and honestly, after what I just did, I didn't either. I don't think anyone would suspect anything.
"You... don't hate me?" I asked. Even though I didn't anticipate him having a negative reaction, I still needed that confirmation.
"No... of course not, dude. Did you think I would?" We didn't move, just stayed there.
"No... it's just... you're the first person I've ever told." And it was true. My voice, although calmed and not as shaky as before, was still a little weak.
"Well, I'm glad you told me. You know, if you're not busy, you can sleep over at my house tonight. We can talk about it more. If you'd like that." I did. I so wanted that, I could barely even put it into words.
"Yeah... yeah I would." I said under him. He eventually broke the hug and patted me on the shoulder.
"Are you sure your parents wouldn't mind?" I inquired.
"No, they're out of town for a few days." He said. Just let me go get some stuff from my locker and we can go home in my car. Call your parents though to make sure it's okay." He said before he went back into the school to get some stuff. I nodded and then I turned around and looked out from the entrance of the school.
I was suddenly hit with this state of seemingly cinematic euphoria. I now have somebody to talk to. I was covered in his strong and comforting scent with some of his sweat mixed in. The sweat only made the blowing wind cool my skin down as it blew the American flag above me the same. I looked at the sunset in the distance. It was so unreal, and genuinely felt like I was in a movie.
He came back with his backpack and pointed his finger in the direction of the car. I then followed. We got in and drove away from the school.
"So I think I have some leftover pasta in the fridge... or we could order some pizza." He asked.
I gave him a look like I was communicating with him telepathically and I think he understood. He gave me a grin and turned back to the road.
"Pizza it is." He said. He continued, "So do you wanna talk here?" He asked. We got to a stoplight.
"Uh, could we wait until we get to your house? I asked. I just wanted to enjoy this moment.
"Sure thing, bud. Whatever you want." He said as the light turned green and we continued. I rolled down the window, closed my eyes, and let the air blow onto me. I could still smell a little bit of him on me. Freedom.
We arrived at his house. It was white-bricked and two-storied.
"Bienvenidos a mi casa" he said. "That's Spanish for-"
"Yeah, I know." I laughed a bit. I hope he didn't think that was rude.
"I'll go hit up Domino's and you can take a seat in the living room. Just make yourself at home." He said. I set down my backpack and looked around. It was a pretty big house, there were a few family photos set down. From the pictures, it looked like he had a sister and a younger brother. His brother wasn't too bad himself; he looked like he could be my age. He was definitely more on the cute side than the hot side. From the looks of it, his brother played lacrosse.
"Ok, so that's that." He said as he put his phone down on the living room table. "So, I guess I'll start, and tell me if I'm prying too much. When did you first know you were gay?" He asked. And I smiled before I told him everything. I told him about why I couldn't understand all the other boys' obsession with boobs and girls in general. I told him about a shirtless basketball-playing Tyler Furlong, the boy I wanted to be "good friends with" and about the boy on the cover of the book. But I didn't tell him about, well, him.
"Interesting..." he said. "So, is there anyone you have on your radar right now?" I blushed a little bit when he said that and looked down. "Come on, there's gotta be." and he once again shot me that award-winning smile. I'm never getting used to that.
"Weellll" I dragged that a little bit. And then I looked up to him and gave him a little smile.
"Oh..." He realized. And then that smile came back. "Thanks for the ego boost, dude. I'm guessing that's why you ran out of the locker room that day." He joked. "But I'm straight, and a little too old for you? I have a girlfriend too who's supposed to be coming over later."
My heart sank a little bit. I guess I couldn't have him as a boyfriend? But still as a friend, and honestly, that was more than enough.
"Oh. It's cool." I rubbed the back of my head a little. We talked for a little bit more until his girlfriend arrived. Her name was Waverly. She had long black hair and slightly skin. While I was revising an essay for English, I saw him wrap his arms around her like boyfriends do and plant a kiss on her cheek. "How lucky she must be," I thought. Later we all went to sleep. Frank told me I could take the guest room for the night.
I had only been able to sleep for an hour. There was a repetitive thumping and feminine moaning that woke me up. At first, I was terrified, as if all those childhood nightmares had come back to haunt me. Then, as I realized what was going on, I looked over the bed and realized there was a small tent where my dick was. I had to get closer. I got up out of my bed and walked closer to the sound of the thumpinmg. It was so loud. I can't imagine how hard he must be fucking her. My dick leaks a little pre-cum as I think about it. I walk up to his room and there's a little gap in the door. I peak through it. His room wasn't too far off from what I imagined. The walls were blue, with posters of sports and women, but most of all, trophies everywhere.
And that was when he saw me. The room was dimly lit but I could see his eyes glistening from the moonlight through the window. I think he shot me a small grin. Holy shit, that was hot. But not as hot as what was about to come. I could just barely see his body. He was above her and her face was facing his chest as he looked up at me in the doorway. His body was just as amazing as I imagined, and based on the glimpse I got of his dick, it was about as big as in my fantasy.
When he saw me, he just started fucking her harder and faster. He fucked her so intensely that some of the trophies fell off and some of the pictures on the wall started shaking. She started moaning much louer and squirming around in the bed. The whole time his gaze at me remained unbroken. I reached into my pants like he almost commanded me to do and started stroking my rock-hard dick. I jerked off as he fucked her, the whole time, we looked at each other. When I finally shot my load, I simply let the semen shoot into my pants. He came too with this deep, guttural moan that was the hottest thing I'd ever heard.
Afterwards, I quickly ran back to my room and went to sleep. What a day.