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This is another of my stories that begins with trauma but ends happily, there is a little sex in it but nowhere near as much as normal. Just another love story. I have photos of the three main characters if you would like to see them. Approximately 9,000 words in 3 chapters
A LASTING LOVE
Chapter 1
Looking back on my life I guess the biggest life altering experience in it occurred when I was nineteen. I was home from college, my second day, and I nearly had to lever my parents out the door to attend an event they had been looking forward to for months.
"But we can't leave you for the whole day on only your second day home."
That was mum. She was almost in tears. I had only been at college for one semester, and I'd been home for four days over Thanksgiving as well, but you would have thought I had been the long lost son returning to the fold after years away. You probably get the picture already, loving parents who had been sorry but proud to see me off to college on a swimming scholarship. Dad was as bad, but he tried to be all macho about it. They were, in my opinion, the best parents a guy could wish for. I remember dad talking to me when I was going through my rebel phase just after hitting puberty.
"Mark, we don't go to school or college to learn how to be good parents, no more than you go to school to learn how to be a good son. We both have to wing it and learn from our mistakes, hopefully. You need to know that your mother and I love you as much as it's possible to love an only child. If we restrict you in any way it is because we think that is best for you. If I punish you it's because I believe you deserve it. Now, if you have a problem with the way I do things with regard to you I want you to come to me to talk about it. In fact, I want you to come to me to talk about anything at all that bothers you. I'm your father, but I also want to be your friend. Know that whatever you are, or you become, your mother and I will always love you. What we also hope is that we'll be proud of you. Now, kick that rebel out the door and come and talk to me if you have a problem."
I was twelve, and that was the longest soliloquy I ever remember my dad spouting. It worked though and we did talk. I don't think I had any hang ups as I grew. I was a good scholar and a more than adequate swimmer. I guessed as I hit my senior years that I was not going to be a National or Olympic champion, but I won enough races to guarantee a sport scholarship.
We weren't wealthy, but dad was an engineer and mum a teacher, so we had a good life style. The house was suburban detached, three bedrooms and two bathrooms so I always had my own room and bathroom. We had a good size pool, which I almost lived in when I was home. Neighbours close enough for comfort but far enough away to guarantee our privacy. Next door on one side was another one-child family. Jamie was the boy, four years younger than me and as cute a kid as you could imagine. Until I went into overdrive on my sports and academics at sixteen, he was the little brother I never had, he almost lived in our pool with me and became a more than adequate swimmer himself. His mum and dad were great as well. The mum died just after I started senior high school, bad timing for Jamie because I almost lost contact with him I was so wrapped up in my own life. When I did see him over the next two years he looked increasingly haggard and I wondered if there was something wrong with him. I wouldn't talk to his dad about it because since his wife's death he had been more than a little weird. I did talk to mum and dad about it and was told the best thing was to mind my own business. So I did.
Oh, the other thing about me that was probably a little different was that I didn't think about sex very much, I know, a bit unusual for a teenager, but I think I was just too wrapped up in my studies and sport. I dated occasionally and had a good reputation as the guy that wasn't always trying to get into their knickers. I had lots of friends and no problems with them, I guess I scoped them out when we were in the locker room but only academic curiosity, how did I measure up in the cock stakes? I knew a couple of guys that were out gays and they didn't bother me, nor did I feel I had anything in common with them, huh, wasn't that a wrong assessment, as I found out years later.
Anyway, mum and dad left and I mooched around the house sorting out my laundry and stuff I needed to do before going back to college. I had just finished all that stuff and was contemplating a swim when the doorbell rang. On the doorstep was Jamie, looking about ready to collapse and crying his eyes out.
"Please Mark, help me. I am in so much pain in my bottom."
He got that out before he folded up. I caught him before he hit the floor and took him through to the lounge. I laid him out on the couch and as I pulled my arm from under his bottom I saw the blood on it. I was shocked into no action for ages looking at it before I came to my senses. I undid the zip on his shorts, rolled him over very gently and pulled his shorts off. They were soaked in blood and I could see it was coming from between his cheeks. I ran to the kitchen for a bowl of warm water and the first aid kit. When I returned I parted his legs and used loads of cotton wool to clean him up. What I saw made me tear up. There was no doubt in my mind that he had been brutally raped, probably by loads of men, not just one. I called 911 and just waited. Police and ambulance arrived together. The police had a look at Jamie before letting the paramedics take him, and then they sat me down to get my story. I was champing at the bit to get to the hospital and in a highly charged emotional state. My little brother who I had neglected for two years was in trouble, I needed to be there to console him and show him I still loved him. Eventually they finished with me and they went off to find Jamie's dad while I drove to the hospital.
I wasn't family and I knew they wouldn't let me in as a friend, so I lied.
"Jamie's my little brother, the police are looking for our dad but until he arrives I need to be with him."
That worked, eventually. He was in surgery for a while before being returned to a ward. I sat with him holding his hand until he recovered consciousness. When he saw me he burst into tears again and had to be sedated. The police came and talked to me again. Jamie's dad had been found and was under police detention. I looked quizzically at the cop who was quite young and when he found out that Jamie was like a little brother for me he told me that Jamie's dad was responsible for the rape, along with a bunch of paedophiles that the police had been watching. I was shocked.
With no parent available, or likely to be available it was only natural that child welfare services would get involved. My lie was very quickly discovered but the welfare lady was understanding enough to let me continue to visit Jamie. He was, to put it mildly, a basket case.
A lady police interrogator managed to get a reasonable story from Jamie. It appeared that after his mother died the father showed his true colours and started to sexually abuse him. The abuse got worse as Jamie got older until others became involved and he became the centre of some pretty awful gangbangs. He also became a very experienced cocksucker. I got the full story from the young cop that had talked to me before. His name was Adam North and he was the same number of years older than me as I was from Jamie, so, twenty three. The reason for his interest in me was that he was gay and fancied me. I was quite flattered because he was a good-looking guy. More about Adam later.
I told mum and dad about the episode when they arrived home. To say they were shocked would be an understatement. To say they did nothing would also be a long way from the truth. They knew that Jamie had no close relatives that could take him in so mum immediately set out to do something about it. They didn't tell me, but what they did was apply to be foster parents to Jamie when he was released from hospital. Once again luck was with my family, and I suppose Jamie. The same welfare lady that allowed me to be with Jamie was his case officer and she could see the advantages of him going to a home where he would be loved and where he knew the people. At nearly fifteen there was virtually no chance he would be fostered for anything but the money, meaning an empty life for him emotionally. He was kept at the hospital much longer than we expected, but I was told later it was for psychological reasons, not physical. That worked to mum and dad's advantage because it meant when he was eventually released he came straight to our house. Mum and dad had obtained all his clothes and personal possessions when the father was indicted and had redecorated the third bedroom to mirror his old bedroom. Of course, most of this had been done after I went back to college.
While he was still in hospital, I talked to him every day. The doctors had briefed me that he was very withdrawn, but it still shocked me when I tried to hold his hand to comfort him.
"Don't touch me, I'm dirty."
"Don't be silly Jamie, you aren't responsible for what they did to you."
"I'm still dirty, loads of men have fucked me at both ends and cum inside me and pissed in me. I'll never be clean again as long as I live."
I related this to the psychiatrist who nodded his understanding, but didn't tell me anything more. Jamie came home with my family just before I went back to college, but mum and dad told me that he never allowed them to see him even partially unclothed and allowed no physical contact. Despite his previous love of swimming he never went near the pool.
I worried about him all through that semester and couldn't wait to get home to try to get through the barrier he had erected around himself. It was still no touch and no swim so after a couple of days I bit the bullet. Mum was away doing some advanced teaching course and dad was at work so I went into Jamie's bedroom where he was playing computer games.
"Come on sport, it's such a lovely day, get your trunks on and let's do some laps."
He shook his head, "No thanks, I don't swim anymore."
I moved in behind him and rested my hands on his shoulders. He almost screamed at me not to touch him as he shot out of his chair like a bullet from a gun. I grabbed him, spun him round and hugged him. He fought me like crazy while screaming that he was dirty and I shouldn't touch him. I just held on and kept repeating the same mantra until he calmed down.
"I love you Jamie, you're the brother I always wanted. You're not dirty and I'm going to hug you every opportunity I get."
He eventually stopped fighting me and just dissolved in tears.
"But I am dirty, Mark, no one should touch me."
"You aren't dirty and I'm going to keep touching you. Get it through your head, I love you and I'm always going to love you."
At last he looked at me, tears still streaming down his face.
"I love you too, Mark, I never want to disappoint you."
"I'm sure you won't Little Bro."
If I had been anything other than a total klutz I would have seen the look in his eyes and clicked that his love and my love were different. We did go swimming though and over the course of my holiday he became more relaxed around me, but he still tensed up badly if I touched him, particularly bare skin. It was about a year later that I learnt why he was having problems on that front, but for now it was good to come home to my little brother. Our bonding became even closer now that he was living with us and the age gap seemed less as well. By the time he moved to the seniors he was swimming faster than me and was all set for a full sport scholarship as well.
When I came home for spring break that first year we had Jamie, Adam North called me and asked if I'd like to go out to dinner with him. I was quite surprised, although we had been friendly towards each other at the time of Jamie's trouble I didn't see a relationship developing. He was just a good cop as far as I was concerned, friendly and attentive, compassionate towards Jamie, which endeared him to me, but that was it. Anyway, I went. Out of uniform I realised he was quite a hunk. He was easy on the eyes and on the ears. He had a soft mid west accent that was almost musical compared to many people in the area. We had a very pleasant dinner and I was very correct, refusing alcohol even though it was offered.
"Can't risk being charged with underage drinking Adam, and I don't know you very well. This could be entrapment just so that you can have your wicked way with me."
I don't know why I said that, even though I made it sound like a joke, but Adam coloured up with embarrassment. That got me flustered and I apologised for causing him discomfort.
Still blushing he looked me straight in the eyes and said, "You hit the nail on the head, that's why I'm embarrassed."
Call me thick if you like, but I still didn't see where he was coming from, which meant he had to explain.
"I like you, Mark, I did the first time we talked. I would like you to be my friend, and maybe more if you feel the same way."
I looked him over carefully, particularly his eyes and that was what made me realise what he meant by the more. Now it was my turn to blush. I did like Adam, and it made me think about my sexuality when I realised.
"I like you as well Adam, and I'd like us to be friends. I don't know about the more, I've never thought about that kind of thing."
I hadn't rejected him out of hand so he relaxed and the rest of the dinner went fine. The next development was Adam coming over to the house to swim when he was time off. So now we were three. Jamie, 15, me 19, Adam, 23. We all got on well, Jamie definitely liked Adam at first, but when I started to see more of Adam socially Jamie started to show resentment. Summer break and Jamie's attitude became hostile when Adam was around and I didn't understand why. Adam and I had become very touchy feely, without it getting sexual, and I had to admit I liked it.
Things came to a head in my second month home from college in the summer. I passed Jamie's bedroom after seeing Adam one evening and I could hear him crying. I knocked and entered to find my little brother curled up on his bed crying his eyes out. I pulled him into my arms and stroked his hair.
"What's the matter Jamie, are you hurt?"
He shook his head but didn't speak.
"Please Little Brother, tell me what's wrong."
In between sobs he told me.
"I love you so much, but you love Adam."
That shook me a little.
"I don't love Adam, Jamie, he is just a friend."
"Well Adam loves you, he's always touching you, and I can see in his eyes how he feels. I want to touch you like that and have you love me as well."
I laughed. "I do love you, I think I've loved you for years. You're the little brother I never had."
More sobbing, "But I don't want you to love me like a brother, I want you to love me like Adam loves you. I want you to make love to me."
Oh, shit, now it all fell into place. Adam was gay and wanted a physical relationship, Jamie was gay as well and wanted the same thing. And this dumb shit hadn't seen it.
I lay Jamie down on his back, leant in and kissed him gently on the lips.
"I've never thought about having sex with a boy Jamie, you have to give me a little time to think about this. If I'm going to make love to a boy I'm pretty certain that I would want that boy to be you. Who else would I choose?"
I tried to make the last comment sound like a joke, but I don't think I succeeded.
"Would you like to come and sleep with me tonight, just for cuddles?"
His face lit up and he gasped out, "Oh yes please Mark."
I had to laugh at that. I took his hand and led him to my bedroom. He was wearing sleep shorts and I undressed in my bathroom and did the same before cleaning my teeth. I hopped into bed and pulled Jamie into a cuddle. He threw one arm over my chest and hooked a leg over mine. He whispered into my neck.
"I love you so much Mark," and then he was asleep.
I took ages to join him while I tried to sort out my feelings. I was nearly twenty years old and I hadn't considered my sexuality, late developer sexually, or what? I really liked Adam and thinking about it, sex with him would probably be exciting, certainly instructional because I had no doubt he would be experienced. Sex with Jamie would be special, because he was so dear to me as my little brother. My sleep, when it came was very disturbed. I knew I would have to talk to dad my feelings were very confusing.
########################################################################## Mark gets sorted in the next chapter.