I had long ago come to terms with being gay. I knew since I was 12 that guys were more appealing to me than girls. What was harder for me to grasp was my powerful interest in bondage, domination and submission. My fascination was, as a big man, to be in the control of someone smaller than me.
Following the usual course, I had looked at magazines like "Bound & Gagged," and had even rented a few videos depicting bondage scenes. The pain aspects didn't turn me on, but the control - or more appropriately, the loss of control was an instant turn on to say the least. Recently I came across a website features bears into bondage and although I don't consider myself a bear, I guess that's how others would see me.
I also met men who shared similar interests in bondage in online chat rooms. Hearing about other's experiences always left me wondering if they were factual accounts or mere fantasy. In any case, I found myself wanting to try something - anything - to get initiated into the world of bondage. The problem was that those who liked to dominate were rarely interested in dominating a large man.
My chance finally arrived. I stumble across a website detailing the events of a bondage club in Washington DC. They happened to be having a "bondage party" for beginners and experienced tops that liked working with beginners. I was going.
The way it worked was that you called a hotline number and left your name and a call back number and someone from the group would get in touch and provide you with details, including an address and answer your questions. I called. Waited a few days. Called a few days later. Finally, I got a call back.
It all sounded so easy. Easy to find. Nice people waiting for me. Safe neighborhood. Do what you want and nothing more. Safe play only. Watch or participate, there would be no pressure. Only twenty bucks.
I went. I was so dam nervous and so damned excited that I didn't know what to do. But I went. I was not going to chicken out. The house was easy to find. I was early but decided to knock anyway. The door was immediately opened and Pete warmly welcomed me as the first to arrive.
Pete had the paperwork right by the front door and as soon as I provided them my information and paid my money, Lou took me on a tour of the house. There was a video lounge in the back and a kitchen with snacks and soft drinks on the first floor. Upstairs was a serious play area for people seriously into bondage. I could not begin to understand what most of the equipment was for, but I was definitely feeling a mixture of fear and excitement.
At 8:00 the front door was locked and everyone who was coming was there, about twenty-five guys. It was an interesting mix of people. There was great diversity of ages, most were white, some were nervous like me and others had bags of equipment ready for whatever would happen.
The first hour was set aside for introductions and exploration of a particular aspect of bondage. Lou started by asking everyone to go around the circle and introduce yourself as much as you wanted, but everyone had to state whether they were a top or bottom. Holy shit I thought!!! What was I doing here?
When my turn came I said I'm Dave and was really new to all this and was just here out of curiosity. My mouth was suddenly dry and my throat tight. That was all I could get out. Lou asked, "And are you a top or bottom?"
I said that's what I'm here to find out and would welcome any help I could get. One guy immediately started paying attention to me. He obviously had been to the group before. He had a bag that I guessed had his equipment. He never took his eyes off me during the rest of the introductions. I didn't hear anyone else's name or anything else that was said. I was just very aware of this guy staring at me and the growing tension in my crotch. He was about five inches shorter than me and about 75 pounds lighter. He was also about 10 years younger than me. It didn't hurt a bit that he was good looking, masculine and in decent shape.
The discussion was finally over. Lou said the lights would now be dimmed and everyone could play, watch or leave whenever they wanted. The only rule was that if you talked, talk quietly and keep the food and drink in the kitchen.
I headed immediately to the kitchen to get some water to loosen up my throat. While I was standing there in the only bright light in the house, he came up to me. He said his name was Paul. He noticed my nervousness and fear and said that usually talking first helps put people at ease. He immediately launched into the story of his first experience with bondage.
An older man had brought him to one of these parties about six years ago. It was all very gentle and no pressure, he had kind of let things take their own course. He got hooked. Paul was a good talker and suddenly I found myself very caught up playing out a fantasy in my mind that I was in his place in his first experience.
I couldn't believe these words were coming out of my mouth, but I asked, "Do you want to do that to me?" He looked right into my eyes and said, "Tell me specifically want you want to have happen to you, Dave."
"I want you to bind my hands and play with my chest. I don't want to be hurt and I can't have any marks. Otherwise, you can do what you want."
Paul said, "Let's go upstairs."
When we got upstairs there was wonderfully seductive music and very dim lights. There were some men at one end of the room who were starting some kind of scene and a couple lying on a couch making out. Paul had me stand in the middle of the room right under a dim spot light. He told me to take off my T-shirt. I immediately complied and have never felt more naked in my entire life.
He rummaged in his bag and came out with a pair of handcuffs. He asked if I had ever been cuffed before. I said no.
Paul was gentle and slow and careful. He wanted my hands behind my back. Being a big man, the cuffs were tight but he was very careful to make sure they were very secure but not painful in anyway. He repeatedly asked if I was ok. When they were finally fastened, he stood behind me a moment got very close to my ear and asked me several times if I was comfortable, if I was where I wanted to be, if what was happening to me was what I had hoped for. I very quietly said, yes. The fear and excitement were so thoroughly mixed in me that the huge hard on straining at the front of my Levis was testimony that this is what I wanted.
While Paul was still behind me, he suddenly blindfolded me. He again asked if I was ok and I was having a raging debate in my head to tell him to take the blindfold and cuffs off. But the mixture of fear and excitement was making it hard to get anything straight in my head and before I knew it, he had left me standing there.
I stood still and alone for what seemed like forever but was probably five minutes. I quietly said his name several times with no response. The fear/excitement equation was starting to tip toward fear and I was starting to wonder if there was some way I could get help.
Suddenly a voice I did not recognize was very close to my ear and asked if everything was ok. I said I think so but was wondering where Paul was. The voice didn't say anything else.
And then someone squeezed both my nipples. It wasn't harsh but it wasn't gentle. At this point the mix of fear and excitement was in high gear and my cock was so hard I was sure I must have been leaking through my jeans. The pressure on my nipples was growing and it was starting to hurt a little. But I also found myself learning into the hands and encouraging them with little moans. Then there were teeth - first on one nipple and then the other - a bit harder than I wanted, but liking it none-the-less.
Then it was back to pinching and a slow realization that the two hands pinching my nipples did not belong to the same man. Was it Paul and the other voice who asked if I was ok? Was Paul still there? I could feel them both breathing on the sides of my face and whispering in my ears that what would happen next might hurt a little more than I had wanted and then I felt something metallic clamp on my nipples and a cold chain hitting across my chest. It did hurt and I didn't want it to stop.
I knew I was still standing in the center of the room as the overhead spotlight did filter in behind the blindfold slightly. I also knew that my nipples were hurting just a little and I also knew that my cock was rock hard.
Someone started to open the buckle on my Levis. Someone else was untying my shoes. Suddenly my shoes and socks were gone and my pants were coming down. In a moment, I was standing there in my blindfold, apparently some tit clamps and my white boxer briefs with a raging hard on. I felt more exposed and vulnerable than I had ever been in my life.
What happened next took both the excitement and fear to a new level. There where suddenly four pairs of scissors perched at the bottom edge of my white boxer-briefs and more hands than I could count pulling at my underwear. Suddenly the scissors started up the legs of my briefs. The feel of the cold steel on my leg made my entire body tingle. Just as suddenly what was left of my briefs fell apart in several directions and I was standing there totally naked and totally unsure what was happening to me. The mixture of fear and excitement had taken me to a new place of pleasure.
No one hurt me but there were many hands all over my body and the game plan seemed to be to give me as much stimulation as possible. The tit clamps were adjusted. My cock was rubbed with something wet like lube. The blindfold was tightened. My ass cheeks were spread and my butt hole explored. I could not begin to tell how many men were playing with me or what part of me was about to be touched and toyed with next. Someone seemed always to be touching my cock but it was always someone else and lube was constantly being added.
And just as suddenly as all this started, everyone seemed to disappear. I was totally stimulated and wanted someone to finish all this and I desperately didn't want it to end but everything was totally beyond my control. I had never felt more powerless. And standing there in the middle of this room, naked, blindfolded, my hands cuffed behind me, my nipples in nearly painful clamps, I just started to shoot my load. This was an orgasm unlike any I had ever had. I shot at least five times with no one and nothing touching my cock. It just kept erupting.
I was so embarrassed standing there like that wondering who was watching all this happen. I had never felt so under someone's control. I knew Paul was somewhere nearby and he was suddenly next to me asking if I was ok. I could barely speak and to say that I was ok was the understatement of a lifetime.
He told me to close my eyes tightly and he undid the blindfold. Then he undid my wrists and he gently rubbed my aching shoulders. When I looked around the couple was still making out on the couch and the group at the other end of the room seemed to be only aware of each other.
Paul handed me my jeans, T-shirt and shoes. He said the socks and underwear were his to keep. He told me to get dressed and leave right away and think about what happened. He said if I liked it to come back again. He'd be there.