IV. The Wanderer
2002
David returned to his studies, but he had been warned not to over work. In that regard, he was careful! Budgeting his time, eating regularly and resting as much as possible became his way of life. He began to thrive physically and mentally. Emotionally, there was the specter. With determination, David moved towards his degree.
During his treatments he remained in Madison, isolating himself from any unwanted confrontations. Of course, Eleanor visited regularly. He also looked forward to seeing her. She was a link top the past.
David had been working on his thesis--actually concentrating on it for long weeks. He had disciplined himself not to spend more than eight hours a day doing his research and writing. That had proved fortuitous, as the rest his mending body demanded also was beneficial to his mental acuity. Progress on the research was steady, but not without its problems. By the end of June, one evening after a good day, David suddenly realized that what little social life he had before his illness, was even now more abbreviated. He felt a need for some social interaction. It was a Wednesday, he decided to go out--he knew not where. He started to walk. Meandering, as if propelled by some unseen force, David found himself on a familiar street, well over a mile from his apartment. At the end of the block he saw the neon sign announcing Our Place.
Not too surprised at finding himself there, he paused, then entered, took a seat at the bar and ordered a draft. He made sure to take a stool away from the other patrons, isolated. Some of the customers curiously glanced his way, but did not intrude. The bar was relatively empty--Wednesday was not a busy night. Quietly sipping his beer, he watched the television suspended at his end of the bar--some sports rerun. In the back of his mind he was aware of the front door opening, then closing. Then . . . .
"What are you doing here?" came a baritone voice over his right shoulder.
Turning, David looked into the smiling face of Aaron.
"Hi," he greeted his friend, somewhat confused, then he stated, "And, what are you doing here?"
""Needed a beer."
"Oh?"
Aaron slipped on the stool next to David and ordered a beer.
"How are you feelin, my friend?"
"OK. Was bored tonight . . . need some . . . time away from the damned thesis."
"Ah! And how's it going?"
"Actually quite good." David replied.
Aaron had kept in contact with David the couple of months since his professional duties had ended. Mostly he'd phone, a couple of times they had lunch together. His calls and their 'get-togethers' were always a welcomed diversion in David's otherwise dull schedule.
"You come here often?" Aaron queried.
"Nope!" then added, "Actually this is my second time."
"Oh." Aaron answered in a noncommittal tone. He recalled David's story of the first time and smiled, inwardly.
"You come here often?" David returned.
"Not often . . . from time to time."
"Oh." David's mind was a confused mess at this reply. "From time to time . . . What does that mean? Why would he come . . . ?" he questioned uncomfortably.
David finished his beer. He was somewhat restive over the direction and information this short conversation had revealed. "Think I'd better go," he stated, a bit edgy.
"Need a ride? You're a ways from your place."
"No . . . think I need the exercise."
"OK. Call you soon."
"OK," he said a he slipped off the stool, "See ya."
"Sure, Dave," Aaron promised, flashing a bright smile.
As David walked home, he asked a thousand questions in his mind. "Why was he there? Why did I go there? Is Aaron gay? He never mentioned it before!" And, on and on. Soon he was back at his apartment, went in, took a long hot shower and flopped into bed.
The next Monday, David returned to Our Place. It was even more deserted than the previous Wednesday. Again he took a stool separated from the other customers, ordered a beer, drank part of it, then, as an automaton, walked to the darkened TV room. The screen displayed a similar scene that he remembered the year before. Only the 'actors' were different. As he watched the action, he casually asked himself, "How could anybody do this? How can they keep . . . erect. I'd be so embarrassed!" For long minutes he watched. He became somewhat aroused at first, but after a while, everything began to blur together in boring predictability.
He felt a warm breath near his ear. "What are you doing here?" came the whisper. The proximity was unnerving, yet tantalizing and be felt a strange sensation course through his body. He began to tremble. He wanted to run! Why was he here? Then his senses became focused. Even though it was a whisper, David knew the source. He turned his head and looked into the smiling face of Aaron.
He gathered his wits and answered, finally, "Same thing as you!"
"And what would that be?" This time the whisper was more baritone.
David paused, "Watching . . . the video," he stated matter-of-factly.
"Yeah! Sure!" snorted Aaron.
David felt cornered.
Aaron asked another question, "What are you looking for?"
"Nothing!" came the quick reply.
"You sure?"
Again David paused, and answered, tentatively, "No . . . ."
"Let's get out of here!" Aaron stated as he walked out of the TV room and to the front door. David followed.
"My car's over there," Aaron pointed as he walked across the street to a newer Taurus.
They wordlessly drove to David's apartment. Aaron pulled to the curb, but did not turn off the motor. This confused an already confounded David.
"You wanna come up?" came the low, tentative inquiry.
Aaron turned to face David and asked in a deliberate tone, "Do you want me to?"
David could not vocalize, but after a second he nodded his head.
"Is that a 'Yes,' or 'No?'" Again the deliberate tone.
"Yes," came the barely audible reply.
Aaron switched off the car, "OK. Let's go, then" He quickly got out of the car, walked to the apartment's outer door and waited for David to find the apartment door key.
They climbed silently to the second floor, David unlocked his apartment door and entered. Aaron sat in the only easy chair.
"Would you like a beer?" he asked Aaron, self-consciously.
"No thanks . . . just had one."
David was visibly uncomfortable. Aaron watched bemused.
"What . . . what do . . . we do . . . now?" David almost pleaded.
Aaron bursted out in a good natured laugh.
"WHAT?" cried David.
"You brought me here!"
"Yeah, I know."
"So what do you want?"
"I really don't know." It was more a plea than a statement.
Aaron saw his friend's consternation. "Do you want me to hold you?"
"Yes," came the quiet answer.
"And?"
"Whatever. . . . ."
"Dave, do you really want this?"
David merely nodded his assent.
Aaron stood up and enfolded David in his arms and drew him close.
"Humph," came the pitiful but acknowledging sound from deep in his throat. His arms embraced the taller man. He began to revel in the warmth and feel of Aaron.
Aaron maneuvered them to the sofa bed and they reclined, enfolded.
"I must tell you Dave, . . . I want to be with you."
"Me, too!"
"I've wanted to be with you for a long time. But . . . I didn't think it would ever happen." Aaron related in a low voice. "Then last Wednesday . . . when I met you at Our Place . . . my hopes soared."
"Mmmm," was the only reply that was offered.
"I want you Dave . . . but . . . only if you are . . . willing."
David's non verbal reply was to hug Aaron closer, burying his face in the hollow of the other man's neck and pressing his body nearer. Aaron replied by turning his head and planting a light kiss on David's neck.
"Humph," came the same acknowledging sound from deep in his throat.
Aaron's hands slowly began to course over David's body. He could feel the quiet man tremble at his touch. He reached under the now rumpled polo-shirt and slid his hand over David's back.
"Ahhh," issued as a deep sigh.
Aaron sat up and tugged the polo-shirt over David's head. Then he stood up, David watching his every move. Slowly he drew the T-shirt over his head and unbuckled his belt. David was now transfixed. His kicked off his sandals as he unzipped his fly, never taking his eyes from David's face. If he detected any hint of disgust or rejection he was prepared to stop his action and quietly leave. He saw only a look of tentative approbation. He unbuttoned the waist band and slipped his trousers down, stepping out of them and laying them on the chair. Aaron stood there in his briefs. They were not obscenely tented, but the bulge was more than one would expect of a flaccid member.
David did not move. Neither did he avert his gaze, rather his eyes ran over the partially nude form of this black man. Quietly, even shyly, he catalogued the features of Aaron.
He possessed long, tapering fingers that might be compared to that of a fine pianist. his arms were long and sufficiently muscled--toned would be more apt. Aaron had the musculature of a mid-distance runner--finely muscled with out the obvious bulges of a bodybuilder. David noticed that Aaron's body was remarkably hairless. His torso and arms were smooth and devoid of any hair. His legs also were smooth and tapered from strong thighs to narrow ankles. Aaron had closely cropped hair, expressive eyebrows, a prominent but not wide nose, a strong jaw line and full pink lips.
Aaron watched David as his eyes moved over his dark, glistening body, caressing it. Then, he slowly lowered his briefs, letting them fall to his ankles and kicked them away. David was impaled by the sight before him. Aaron was amply endowed. His encased cock arched over and downwards in mid-erection. David noticed the prepuce was retracted slightly revealing a pink cock-head--matching his pink lips. Again, David noticed the hair on his head, matched the minimal sprinkling of underarm hair and his pubic hair matched his axilla in amount. Dark ebony balls hung behind the now pendulous cock.
David seemed in a trance, ravished by the nude man who stood in front of him with no self-consciousness whatsoever. His mouth was dry and he was lightly panting.
Aaron smiled and said, softly, "Can I take off your clothes?"
David nodded and Aaron began his joyous task.
Aaron was aware of the tentativeness of David. He knew that if he proceeded carefully, there would be untold joys to savor. He fancied that this quiet young man was willing to proceed, but at his own pace. But, he also wondered what was the motive force behind David's passive actions? Curiosity? Probably. A desire to have Aaron? He doubted that! Another experimental foray in a same-sex encounter? Again, probably.
Aaron had a desire for David that had grown over the months. But, that desire was tempered by David's condition and natural reserve. Also, there was the fact that basically, or initially, this was a professional association. Friendship did develop. Aaron's strong professionalism precluded anything happening, anything developing, that is . . . until that night!
He removed David's slacks and shoes and then hesitated, looking down at that brief covered bulge.
Staring deeply into those dark eyes, David, now taking the initiative, hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his briefs, raised his hips and slid them down mid-thigh. Aaron pulled them off, noticing that light cock was also in a state of mid-erection.
Slowly, carefully Aaron lay down next to David. With unhurried movement, he turned towards the hesitant man and embraced him.
As David felt the warm flesh of Aaron being pressed against him, he uttered that sound, "Humph."
Aaron smiled softly as he recognized that low utterance of acceptance and pleasure.
2001
David's parents made their first trip ever south just to see him. They had never visited him while he was at the university in Whitewater. This they did after they had heard the disturbing news of his illness and subsequent horrendous chemotherapy. Eleanor had informed him that she had called their parents.
David knew that they were coming down and looked forward to their visit with mixed emotions. He knew his mother would be emotional and he expected his father would be his usual, aloof self.
When they arrived, Rosemary was unusually effusive as she bustled around David's small apartment. She had brought him a box of her brownies, two cans of mixed nuts and a large bag of mint patties--all his favorites. Calvin merely sat in the easy chair and glanced nervously at his son, from time to time. Rosemary commandeered the tiny kitchen and made them all a cup of tea. Finally she sat beside David on the sofa bed.
"How do you feel, Davey?"
"OK, Ma."
"Look kinda pale to me," Calvin commented.
Rosemary gave him a look which was for her about as withering as she could muster.
"Actually, Pa, I feel like crap!"
Calvin's eyes widen at the rebuke.
"Well, Davey, I'm sure you will be feeling better."
"I hope so, Ma."
Rosemary had been fighting back tears since she first saw her son that day. She could take no more. She excused herself and went to the small bathroom. Calvin Patterson and his son sat in silence. When she returned David could tell she had been weeping, but she put on a brave front.
2002
David's body quaked as Aaron ran his long sensitive fingers over his torso. Aaron paid special attention to the rigid nipples. Their erect state telegraphed innumerable, positive messages to him. He took the left nipple and rolled it between his thumb and index finger, gently.
David gasped. His lascivious senses began to take control. His mind raced, but it didn't keep pace with the feelings he was encountering. In a fleeting moment, he realized that these sensations were worlds apart and more intense from those he had experienced with Rick, those months ago.
Aaron's fingers now tattooed their way down his stomach. David anticipated their goal, yearned for it and he involuntarily lifted his hips to hasten the delicious meeting. But, the fingers pulled away and moved onto his left thigh, caressing it. Again David gasped, partly through disappointment, partly over the delightful feeling of those fingers on his bare, sensitive inner thigh. Involuntarily, his legs spread apart--a bit--in anticipation and by an elemental response.
Aaron was not a neophyte. In truth, he was a doyen--not so much from interminable hours of practice, but he possessed a natural, ingrained knowledge of things physical coupled with his training. He was conducting an erotic tease, focused on bringing David to the height of erotic desire. He knew what he was doing. Aaron was choreographing every minute as he proceeded, and he knew by David's squirming body, that he was reaping the desired results.
Suddenly he stopped! Raising himself and resting on his left elbow, Aaron looked down into David's panting face and questioning eyes.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked in that deep voice.
2001
There was a knock on the door. Rosemary looked questioningly at David.
"Must be Aaron." David explained. He rose , went to the door and let Aaron in.
"Am I interrupting?" the dark mahogany skinned man asked.
Rosemary looked questioningly to David. Calvin's eyes dilated at the sight of this black man. Rhinelander did not have a single black family, and this was the closest Calvin had ever been to one.
"No . . . Well . . . yes, but come in and meet my parents."
David formally introduced Aaron Johnson to his father and mother.
"Nice meeting you," Rosemary said and offered her hand. In one brief instant she assessed the man standing in front of her and found him most pleasant.
"Hello," was all Calvin said. He did not offer his hand.
"I can come back tomorrow," Aaron suggested.
"OK. That would be fine," David replied, a bit miffed at his father.
Aaron left and David returned to the seat next to his mother.
"Who was that, Davey," she asked quietly.
"He the nurse-practitioner assigned to look after me . . . a kind of a . . . watch dog."
"Nurse?" Calvin spatted out, "Male nurse? You know what they say about them!"
"Cal!" Rosemary admonished, cutting him off from any further damage.
2002
"Do you want me to stop?" he repeated.
This time David did not shake or nod his head, but gasped, "No!"
Aaron bent over and tried to place a kiss on David's lips, but this novice turned away. David was not ready for this type of intimacy. It was funny, he mused to himself later, that he afforded Aaron the intimacy of his body, all his body, but could not kiss him. Even when he tentatively explored Aaron's body with his hands and then with his lipe, he had no compunction.
Aaron smiled, knowingly, then bent down and licked those erect nipples.
"Ahhh!" escaped from David's mouth. Then the hand moved from his thigh to that area both wanted to fondle and be fondled. Warm, sensitive fingers wrapped around that hard, throbbing cock.
"Ahhh!" again was heard.
Long, tapered fingers moved over the ultra sensitized surface of that engorged cock and then to the wrinkled ball-sack, drawn up in sensitized anticipation and desire. They moved over the surface of the shaft registering every muscle, vein and undulation. They wrapped around the flared cock-head. David's cock spasmed at that action as did his whole body.
"Do you like that?"
"Yesss!" came the breathy reply.
"Does my hand feel good on your cock?"
"Yesss!"
"Tell me!" Aaron demanded quietly. He knew if he could get David to verbalize his feelings at this time, an ocean would be crossed.
David blinked at Aaron and his request unsure of what was required.
"Tell me how it feels, Dave."
"Good . . . " was all that David said.
"What feels good?"
After a second hesitation, "Your hand . . ."
Aaron snorted, " Can you speak in a sentence?" and smiled down at David.
Suddenly realizing what he wanted, he stammered, " Your . . . hand feels . . . good!"
"Where?"
"You know . . ." came the pleading reply.
"Where?"
"On my . . . my . . . cock!"
"Ah! That wasn't so hard was it?" Aaron bent over and kissed David on the cheek, then moved his lips to his ear and whispered, "Dave, your body is so beautiful! . . . it fills me with joy and pleasure! I love the feel of your chest . . . your hard nipples and your hard cock!" whispering this, hotly into David's ear brought strange shivering coursing down the novitiate's spine.
"Do you know what I want to do now?" Aaron whispered again.
"No," came the hoarse reply.
"This!" Aaron slid down the bed, still holding that throbbing member and slipped that thunderously hard cock into his mouth.
"Arghhhhh!"
The delicious sensations of that warm mouth soon brought David to the edge of release. Then Aaron, sensing the impending discharge, pulled off and licked the tightened ball-sack, moving to the inner thighs. David could only groan as his head whipped back and forth with unrestrained passion. Again, those luscious lips and warm interior engulfed that turgid pole. David arched his back and involuntarily thrust his hips off the sofa-bed. Soon, again, David was racing to the abyss of sensual explosion. And, again Aaron backed off. This process took place two more times. David was at the state where he could stand no more! Aaron knew what he was doing and took delight in administering this sweet form of luxurious torture, knowing what the end result would bring.
A half hour later David lay on the sofa-bed totally spent, absolutely drained, deliciously exhausted and utterly limp. He had experienced an orgasm of cosmic dimensions. Aaron lay next to him with his arm thrown over David's chest.
"That was . . . so . . . wonderful!" David prided himself in his verbal ability. But, nothing could describe what he had just experienced.
Aaron moved a bit closer and said simply, "Yes."
Then after a few minutes, David broke the silence again, "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Did you . . . have . . . . Did you . . . cum?
"No," Aaron replied quietly with no hint of disappointment.
"I'm sorry!"
"I'm not. I was wonderful."
"But . . . ."
Placing two fingers over David's lips, he whispered, "Not to worry!"
Aaron enfolded David again in his arms. David reciprocated drawing this special man nearer as their legs meshed and he slowly slipped into a deep sleep.
Hours later Aaron rose to wakefulness. He heard the shower running. Turning he saw the wall-clock--7:00 a.m. Slowly he roused himself, retrieved his clothes and dressed. He went to the tiny kitchen and started to make some coffee.
"You don't have to do that," David said as he exited that bath, swathed in a bath sheet.
"Yeah, I do," Aaron commented, "Need a cup of coffee, then, I've gotta go and get ready for work." Then with a sly smile, "You know some of us do work."
"Shit!"
"You wanna shower here?" David asked.
"I'll do that at home."
David, dressed, slipping on his briefs under that large towel, then a pair of Bermudas before unwrapping the bath-sheet. He was not normally so modest, but the close proximity of Aaron, plus the wonderful but slightly disturbing events of the night before demanded it, in his mind. He quietly slipped on a T-shirt and sat down at the small table where Aaron had placed two steaming mugs of coffee. Both quietly sipped their coffee.
Aaron was normally a voluble man, the initiator in most of the conversations that they had in the past. But, this morning he felt that if any conversation was to take place, David needed to inaugurate it.
"You know . . . I really didn't anticipate what happened . . . last night," David quietly stated as he looked across the table.
"Neither did I."
Hesitantly David continued. "Aaron, I have to say . . . it was . . . fantastic! I mean . . . I never . . . thought it could . . . feel that way. . . . I wanted . . . to . . . scream!"
A brilliant smile flashed across Aaron's face, "You did!"
"I DID? . . . Really?"
"Oh, yeah!"
The fact was that when he finally rocketed into the chasm of release, the realm of the petite mort, an primordial, "ARGHHHHH!" escaped from deep in his being.
"Jeeze!" then realizing the apartment had thin walls, "Wonder what the neighbors thought?"
"Probably that someone was enjoying themselves!" came the matter-of-fact answer.
"Jeeze!" David slipped into quiet thought.
After finishing his coffee, Aaron stated, "Gotta go Dave."
"OK."
"Call me."
"I will."
And, Aaron quietly slipped out of the apartment, leaving David sitting at the table in deep concentration.
For most of the morning David continually mused over the night before. He wondered why he went, again, to Our Place. 'Could it be that he wanted to meet with Aaron?' Maybe! 'What drew him, again, to the TV room with its lascivious images?' He did not know! 'Was it that he enjoyed seeing men coupling?' He had to admit that it was pretty damned interesting! 'Was he surprised when Aaron made contact?' No! 'Why did he follow Aaron out of the bad as a docile lamb led to the slaughter?' He did not know! 'Did he know what was going to happen?' He wasn't sure, but he deeply anticipated, even wanted the results! 'Why did he allow that erotic performance?' He guessed, because he desired it somewhere in his being! 'Why didn't he attempt to bring Aaron to orgasm?' He didn't know! Was this act. or lack of it an indication of self-centeredness?' He suspected it was! 'How did he feel about that admission?' Somewhat discomfited! 'Did Aaron's body interest him in the
least?' Yes!
He continued the mental interrogation, moving to the heart of the matter. 'What about his body interested him?' He could not, dared not answer! Again, 'What about his body interested him?' His physique, his nude body! 'And?' With no small amount of agony came the answer: his dark cock with the pink head! 'Had he wanted to touch it?' He supposed so! 'Had he wanted to . . . suck it?' No! Not really! 'What did all this mean?'
"Am I . . . GAY?" he whispered.
David could go no further with this cross-examination! He gathered up his considerable notes and left his apartment. He walked to the Historical Society Library and Archives and sought refuge in his carrel for the rest of the day.
It was well over a week before David finally phoned Aaron. A week of constant questioning and self-analysis.
"Hi," David said when Aaron answered the phone.
"Hi," came the return. Aaron had wanted to phone David on innumerable occasions since that fateful Wednesday, but did not. He felt, and rightly so, that David had to take the first step. He wanted him, but felt that if he became too assertive at this point, David would retreat. Aaron certainly didn't want that!
"Do you have any plans for tomorrow night?" David queried.
"Ah, let me check my social calendar!" came the light quick quip.
"Shit!" David said and laughed.
"Nope, I'm free tomorrow."
"Good!" came in mock seriousness, and then, "Let's have supper together?"
"OK! Usual time and place?"
"Sure."
Aaron and David had eaten together a number of times since first meeting, more so since David had ended his chemotherapy. It was understood that their meals would be 'Dutch.' The first time, Aaron had suggested that he treat, but David pridefully refused. And, they generally ate at "Alice's," a small cafe-restaurant near campus which served good food and at a price David could afford on his stipend.
They met there at 7:00 and slid into a booth at the back. After ordering and with little idle chat, David stated, "Aaron, I've gotta say that after last Monday . . . I've been a bit . . . No! . . . really . . . disturbed. . . . Ah, confused."
Aaron merely nodded his head in understanding. Since David made the assignation for that evening, he felt that his friend needed to take the initiative.
David continued in a low, controlled voice, obviously somewhat distressed, "I really don't know why I went to Our Place, that night. I think . . . it might have been because I might have wanted to meet you there again."
At the statement, Aaron smiled, lightly. It was a confession, an assertion that pleased him.
"I really don't know why I followed you out and to my place. I could have said. 'No.' I didn't have to invite you up . . . but . . . I did. I suppose . . . because I wanted to." David paused as if he didn't know quite what to say next. He had carefully worked out what he wanted to express a number of times that day. David was obviously confused. Aaron, merely waited, quietly, understanding his friend's consternation.
"I guess deep down inside . . . I wanted you to . . . do . . .it!"
Aaron's face became more serious in expression. He had tried to get David to verbalize his pleasure that night. He was a bit disquieted by David's inability to express the obvious, at least that's what he thought. "It" is such an impersonal descriptor--" . . . to . . . do . . .it!" Aaron was saddened at "it." He had not wanted to "do it" that night! He wanted to make love to David and in a way that would allow his friend to recognize that fact. Obviously, the mark was missed, or, David was not willing to accept the act for what it was. Or, maybe it was his initial inexperience with man-to-man contact.
"Here's what I know, or what I think I know . . . . We have become good friends. I'm comfortable with you . . . ya know . . . talking and stuff. I never consciously wanted to be with you . . . ya know . . . sexually . . . until last Monday, I guess." Saying this he lifted his eyes from his clasped hands where they had been riveted since the beginning of his . . . confession and looked at Aaron.
Aaron's concern was mirrored in his eyes and that regard was transmitted to David. The neophyte took a deep breath, locking his eyes on Aaron's.
"I guess there are two things that really bother me . . . first . . . I think I must be quite self-centered!"
"Self-centered," Aaron broke his silence, and continued, "What do you mean by that?"
David visibly flushed, "Well . . . 'cause . . . I was . . . so concerned with . . . my . . . release! I simply didn't . . . think of you . . . your needs!"
Aaron started to respond, but David held up his hand as if cutting him off.
"I mean, I loved what you did to me . . . really . . . but . . . I didn't . . . I couldn't . . . do it to you." David flush became even darker, more pronounced.
This time Aaron broke in, "David! I told you that night that it wasn't necessary. It was my gift to you. I didn't expect . . . a return in kind."
David bowed his head as if trying to digest the meaning of the statement. He raised his head again looking at Aaron, "But . . . I think . . . I wanted to do . . . something, but . . . I couldn't"
Aaron mused over "it" and "something." Such neutral, cold words! They allowed, but skirted the issue. But he realized the battle David was fighting within himself. It was a conflict that he would ultimately have to come to grips with, himself.
For several minutes David didn't say a word as he fought his battle. Aaron waited patiently, then, "You said that there were two things that bothered you. What is the second?"
Almost in a whisper, David stated, "I think I'm . . . gay!"
"There could be worse things!"
David fell into silence again.
"Listen to me!" Aaron almost commanded. His voice was low but tinged with concern. "I said the other night that I wanted to be with you." He hesitated, "I was driving home Monday and saw you going into Our Place. I followed you in 'cause I wanted to be with you. I made contact in the TV room 'cause I wanted to be with you. I took you home and went upstairs with you 'cause I wanted to be with you." He paused again, then stated, "I knew you had only been with a guy once before. But since you accepted my advance and presence, I was emboldened 'cause I wanted to be with you. I knew your experience was . . . limited. I knew because I'm black you probably wouldn't want to . . . reciprocate, to suck me too."
"That's not true! Your color has nothing . . . "
Aaron cut him off. "You were not expected to . . . do it! I know and understand your reticence. If it happens . . . it will be in your own time, with whom you choose. I didn't require it, therefore, I was not disappointed or even bothered!"
Both fell silent for a time.
"As to your second concern . . . being gay . . . That's such a catch all! Such and absolute, when it isn't absolute. You've made love to a woman! Right?"
"Yes," softly.
"You enjoyed it! Right?"
"Yes."
Then with a twinkle in his eye, Aaron decided on a different tack. "I imagine that the feeling of sliding your hard cock into a hot, moist pussy the first time was fantastic! I imagine that it also felt similar the other times you made love to her." David had briefly recounted his brief, torrid affair with Dian. "I imagine that when you came, it was like the Fourth of July . . . the explosion of your cock deep inside was . . . unbelievable! You loved that feeling! The feeling of sliding in and out, the feeling of her supple body against yours, the feeling of your fingers manipulating her clit and sliding into her vagina, the feeling of touching, licking, sucking her breasts--all this was deliciously exciting!" He paused allowing his words to take effect, and then asked, "Right!"
"Yes," came the hoarse reply. David had flushed in rememberance.
Smiling, Aaron continued, "And . . . are you aroused now . . . just thinking of it?"
"Yes," came the blush accompanied reply as he glanced back up into Aaron's face. A slight grin played across his face.
"Then, I suspect, my dear friend, that you, like me, are not gay . . . not absolutely . . . only part of you! And, how much? Who knows?"
David looked at Aaron and tried to digest what had been said.
They ate their dinner in relative silence. Both needed to come to grips with what had been spoken. David's job was a bit more complicated than Aaron's. Still, there was a rapprochement, of sorts. They finished their coffee and got up to leave.
"Why don't you come over?"
"Are you sure?"
"Pretty sure."
"OK, then," Aaron answered with a knowing smile.
This time there was no hesitancy when they arrived in front of David's apartment house. Wordlessly, they mounted the stairs and entered the small apartment. Aaron noticed that unlike the last time, the apartment was spic-and-span--as if company had been anticipated. Indeed, it was! He smiled, wondering what David had planned. If anything?
David turned and shyly embraced Aaron, and whispered in his ear, "Thanks."
"For what?"
"Putting up with me!"
Aaron laughed, hugged David close and replied, "Do you think you can put up with me?"
"I'll try!" he whispered and then kissed Aaron on the neck.
Then David backed away from Aaron, grasped the hem of dark man's polo shirt and pulled it over his head. He gazed at the smooth muscled expanse of dark mahogany, reached for a nipple and rolled it between his thumb and fore finger. Then leaned forward ad sucked the other into his mouth, tonguing it in the process. He found strange delight in doing this.
Aaron uttered a low rumble.
Releasing the nipples, David reached for the elasticized waist band, unsnapped it and lowered the zipper. Slowly he lowered the slacks to mid thigh and they fell the rest of the way to Aaron's ankles. David eyed the briefs with its growing bulge and lowered them as well. He knelt, removed Aaron's sandals, slacks and briefs and stood back up.
Slowly, tentatively he reached for the arching cock. Aaron shivered in anticipation. David felt the warming, hardening muscle in his hand. Slowly he grasped it a bit more firmly and moved his hand towards the base where it rose midst a light sprinkling of jet-black hair. As he did this the foreskin retracted and revealed the pink knob contrasted to the dark mahogany foreskin and shaft.
Aaron intently watched David and reveled in both the sight and the feeling, letting the neophyte do what he had to do. The hand was drawn forward concealing the pink, plum-like wonder that had just been revealed.
Aaron gasped and David looked up into this man's eyes and smiled.
"Lay down on the sofa," David softly requested. Aaron complied.
David sat on the edge of the sofa-bed next to Aaron's thighs, facing him. His hands and eyes renewed their exploration of Aaron's body--his chest, belly, thighs, calfs, cock and balls. This was, after all, the first time that David had such an opportunity, and he was going to take full advantage of the situation. Slowly deliberately his hands explored, not necessarily with the idea of arousing this wondrous man, although that was the final effect. Eyes catalogued every undulation. David finally focused his attention on that dark pole standing upright at the base of Aaron's belly. A bit of the pink head was peeking out from the foreskin slightly retracted by the roaring erection. Grasping the shaft midway he moved his hand to the base and watched in wonder as centimeter by centimeter the glistening, mushroom shaped, pink head was revealed.
Again a low, primordial groan issued from Aaron and he spread his legs, slightly. David let loose of that turgid rod and gently hefted and fondled the ebony, wrinkled ball-sack. Aaron's passion was galvanized. He moved his right hand to David's thigh and then over to his crotch.
"Take your clothes off," came a hoarse request.
"No!" then, "It's my turn . . . I don't want you to distract me!" David said, smiling.
David let loose of this new found treasure, walked quickly to the book case, retrieved a small bottle and returned to the sofa. Aaron watched silently, curious as to what David was doing. He saw this neophyte uncap the small, plastic bottle of lotion and squeeze a copious amount in his right hand.
David reached over, grasped the shaft midway with his thumb and forefinger of his left hand, move it to the base, completely exposing the pink plum and capturing the loose skin beneath his encircling thumb and finger. His left hand held its position.
He remembered Sam Ricci, one of the adolescents that had participated in a group jerk back in Rhinelander. Sam had held down the skin of his uncut cock as he applied lotion to the unsheathed cockhead stating, "It feels better this way." He was too shy to ask why, merely suspected that Sam knew what felt best as he always seemed to shoot first and groan in appreciation. David applied that principle to Aaron.
David's lotioned right hand encased the glistening cock-head.
"Ahhhh!" gasped Aaron at the feel of the cool lotion combined with the warm hand.
Slowly David rotated his hand over this captured knob, back and forth as if trying to screw-and-unscrew the cap of some unseen bottle. This movement, this action upon that sensitized, flaring crown was obviously electric!
"Jeeze!" escaped from Aaron's mouth.
Slowly, deliberately David's hand began to spiral down that pulsing sheaf of engorged muscles and then back up again. Over the enlarged head the lubed hand seemingly spun back and forth. Body spasmed, captured cock lurched as that most responsive protrusion, that sensitized finial was manipulated.
Slowly at first, then with more speed David's hand slid over the surface of that aroused cock, then slower again. At times he squeezed his fist and forced it down the length. This action caused Aaron's eyes to open wide in excitement. Then, barely touching the surface, he would spiral down the length and up again.
"Oh! Gawd!" Aaron gasped.
David smiled. He may not have participated in numerous one-on-one, same-sex encounters in his life, but since he was thirteen he had masturbated regularly and had developed a masterful repertoire of movements. These motions he refined on his own cock as time and again he brought himself to the wonderous abyss of release.
After their encounter that Monday, David became inately aware of Aaron's technique in 'edging' and this he practiced on his captive this night. Aaron's head whipped back and forth in involuntary oto the concentrated erotic stimulation. His body tensed uncontrollably. David read the signs of impending release, back off the pumped cock and turned his attention to the drawn-up, wrinkled, ebony ball sack. He dallied there and fondled the encased orbs in his fingers gently. Aaron gasped at being let off the hook, his breathing returned to some degree of normalacy and his body relaxed, somewhat.
David freed the balls and redeposited an amount of lotion to his hand and returned to the now flushed, gleaming, hardened knob. He began the whole procedure over again, with infinite variations, and catalogued the effect that his ministrations were having on Aaron.
He admitted to himself that he found pleasure in this . . . action, this . . . manipulation. His eyes darted back and forth from the ministered cock to the face of Aaron. Aaron's face revealed an array of reactions to David's pistoning hand--sometimes closed eyes with wrinkled brow--sometimes eyes widened in the inexplicable joys of that delicious pain--sometimes eyes rolled up, showing only the whites with mouth agape--drooling--gasping--groaning--quaking--the whole gamut of responses. David luxuriated in the reactions he was eliciting. He reveled in the lascivious power he had in his grasp, literally and figuratively.
David was aroused, but not to the level of demanding his own release. He was licentiously empathizing, empathizing with carnal, animal delight. In truth, he was only vaguely aware of his own erection. His focus was elsewhere.
After a many, long minutes of this passionate torture, Aaron gasped, "David . . . stop . . . I can't take any MORE . . ."
That said, David applied one last series of jet propelled, spiralling motions to the engorged, eroticized member.
"OHHH! GAWD!" Aaron shouted as his spine involuntarily arched, his heels dug into the sofa and his hips rose upward. Aaron's whole being began to spasm, uncontrolably!
David's eyes widened in surprise and wonder as burst after copious burst of lustral fluid rocketed from the opening of that reddened cock-head. Arching in the air and spattering on neck, chest and belly in decreasing ejections. Finally only one last pearl of opalescent liquor oozed out of the small slit and remained. David released his captive, found himself as breathless as Aaron as he observed pools of lustrous cum puddled on Aaron's dark skin. The contrast was awesome, as was the eruption of that cosmic orgasm.
"Oh, gawd," Aaron whispered as he slid down from the pinnacle of release, "That was . . . unbelievable!" His whole body glistened from the exertion. Beads of perspiration ringed his pink lips.
Without thought, without volition, David bent over an placed a tentative, brief kiss on those now closed lips.
Aaron's eyes opened and a beautiful smile broke over his face. He reached up and clasped David to him. Both were headless of the orgasmic spatterings. With inordinate rapidity, Aaron slipped into the sleep of utter exhaustion and fulfillment. When his breathing deepened, David slowly, carefully released himself from Aaron's clasp, went to the bathroom, peeling off his stained polo shirt, washed, put on a clean shirt. He sat in the easy chair watching Aaron and thinking of what had transpired. He sat there an observed this man, this mahogany wonder. Aaron lay motionless, sleeping. David smiled as he noted a small rivulet of drool escaping from the partially opened mouth. He observed patches and pools of cum on their dark backdrop, left arm thrown aside, right across the chest where David had moved it, legs spread slightly and that formerly rampant muscle, lolling, glans exposed, at the base of his belly.
It was a strangely wondrous sight.
Three-quarters of an hour later, Aaron stirred. David rose, went to the bathroom and returned with a warm, damp wash cloth. He stood beside the sofa-bed, waiting for Aaron to open his eyes. Eyes fluttered open, focused, recalled and a warm smile spread across Aaron's face.
"Hi," David uttered lightly.
"Mmmm," was all Aaron could muster at that time.
Carefully, gently David wiped the patches and drying pools of passionate release from Aaron's neck, chest and belly.
"That . . . was . . . fantastic," was all the dark wonder could muster.
David merely smiled as he wiped the small pearl from the slit opening. This he did recalling the wonder of the explosion.
"You wanna shower?"
Aaron merely nodded, stretched and slowly sat up, swinging his feet onto the floor. David went to the closet that held his clothes and also served as a linen closet, retrieving a towel he handed to Aaron.
"Thanks." He took the towel, stood up and padded to the bathroom.
While Aaron showered, David made a pot of coffee. He set two steaming mugs on the table and took a seat. Moments later Aaron emerged from the bathroom, drying his hair. His body glistened from the moisture of the hot shower and a glow suffused his whole being.
He smiled at David. "Smells great!" he said.
He sat across from David, draping the towel over the back of the chair. Aaron's action--that is his sitting nude across from David--was not meant to be provocative. Aaron was simply at ease in his nudity. And, it was also an involuntary, subconscious way of acknowledging a kind of intimacy. David was disquieted, not aroused but . . . disquieted. In his home in Rhinelander, nudity was a most private state. He had never seen his father nude, and of course, neither his mother nor sister. At school, during gym class, nudity was accepted. It was accepted at the gyms where he worked out from time to time at Whitewater and Madison. It was accepted in the changing room of the pool, but, even in his own apartment David rarely walked around unclothed. Maybe it was his sense of modesty, or propriety. Not that David was obsessively modest. Nonetheless, he was disquieted and he was silent as he sat there.
After a couple sips of coffee Aaron said, "Where did you learn to do that?"
"What?" asked David, truly bewildered.
Aaron smiled, "Where did you learn to give such a great hand job?"
"Oh!" he replied, blushing, then added, "Practice, I guess."
Aaron arched his eyebrow questioning, mockingly.
David caught the inference of the action and confessed shyly, "Ahhhh . . not doing it . . . to other guys! Just with myself . . . I practiced on my self!" He grinned, self-consciously, then chuckled.
Smiling, Aaron stated, "Well practice makes perfect!" He laughed, then added, "Dave . . . It was truly fantastic."
"Thanks," came the embarrassed response.
Aaron was appreciative of the tableau that had taken place in that small apartment. He was appreciative of the turmoil and resolution that had led to David's actions. He was aware of the elemental confusion that David was suffering. He yearned to sweep away the confusion.
He really wanted to push aside the table, take David in his arms and make passionate love to him right there on the floor. But, he realized that if anything was going to happen, even to grow with this . . . this treasure, he would have to proceed with infinite care.
The incredible hand-job, the light, tentative kiss were both David's doing. The actions were unprompted, unsolicited, but they warmed Aaron's heart more than anything he could remember. "Take care!" he said to himself.
Pushing back, he stood and stated, "It's late, I have to work tomorrow . . . and if I'm not careful . . . well, you know?" The last phrase was punctuated with a wink.
"OK," came the quiet reply. Actually, Aaron's declaration solved a quandary for David. Aaron's present physical state was insidiously working upon his libido and he remembered his response to the Monday before. He simply wasn't prepared for any more . . . this evening. He watched Aaron as he quietly dressed, cloaking that to which he had, earlier that evening, uninterrupted access. That brought a tinge of remorse.
When Aaron finished dressing David stood, apprehensively. Aaron stepped to him, hugged him, kissed him . . . on the cheek, and stated, "What can I say?"
David hugged him back.
Then Aaron said with a grin, "At least last Monday wasn't a one-night-stand!"
They both chuckled.
"Maybe we can try for three?"
"OK." was all David answered, not in a totally convincing manner.
David sat back down at the table and sipped his coffee. As he did the week before he began the difficult interrogation of this night. It wasn't that David was obsessive, but he felt that there were things that needed to be examined and answers found, if possible. His actions this night were not unplanned, but he questioned why he had set up this scenario? Because he felt the need to repay Aaron's actions of that Monday! An unsatisfactory answer! Because he wanted to . . . explore Aaron's body? Closer to the truth! Did he enjoy touching that dark wonder's body? Yes! Why? No answer. Did he enjoy jacking Aaron off? He had to admit, yes! Did he want to do more? No, not really! What were his feelings as he sat there watching that sleeping form? Confusion! Disgust? No! Did he want to meet with Aaron again? Confusion! Did he not want to meet with him again? A confused, 'No!"
After a time of this emotional dissection, David got up, stripped to his briefs and lay down to sleep, exhausted. He was aware of the residual warmth of Aaron's body on the sofa bed as he sank, quickly into sleep.
Aaron, too, pondered that night's actions. His state was not as confused as David's. However, he wondered why he was feeling what he was. Aaron had come to grips with his desires long ago. He had several relationships, with women. One, when he was much younger too young resulted in marriage and then a divorce two years later. The reason for the divorce had nothing to do with sexual preference. He was merely too young, and the passionate, physical relationship had masked underlying differences, as so often happened. He was thankful that Alice, his former wife, had not gotten pregnant.
His first same-sex-experience had occurred when he was seventeen--a cousin, Jeff, two years older. Jeff was gay and infinitely experienced at nineteen. He unlocked the doors to Aaron's passion and introduced him to the whole spectrum of man-to-man sex. However, Aaron balked at taking the passive role in anal sex. They had gotten together three or four times over three years. That was his first man-to-man contact.
After his divorce, he had experimented a number of times with other men with greater or lesser satisfaction. He also had rewarding, passionate, fulfilling relations with several women. It was during the latter associations that Aaron had confronted the possibility that he was bisexual.
When he first met David, ill, depressed and suffering the rigors of chemotherapy, there was no physical-emotional attraction. A friendship had developed. It was only after he had terminated his professional association, this past spring, that Aaron realized that this man, this neophyte had insinuated himself into Aaron's feelings in a way he had not anticipated.
The first time that he had come upon David in Our Place, he was a bit taken back. David had related his fleeting encounter with Rick, but Aaron had tossed it off as an aberration. The second time, that Monday, he had been driving home when he saw David reenter the bar. He had not planned the ensuing encounter, but . . . nonetheless, he did have a small degree of hope. Aaron realized David's lack of experience, and was fully prepared to accept that state. He expected nothing from David. It was, he thought, merely an act of self gratification as he sucked him off.
This night, however, was a different matter!