A Step in the Right Direction 4
"Hello?! Earth to Landon!" Zach said while snapping his fingers in my eyes.
"Geez, man. You've been zoning out all day. Are you doing alright?"
There was an obvious worry in his eyes, and I felt guilty that I hadn't told him about my feelings for Addy, but how could I? Zach knew I was gay, but I felt like I hadn't talked to Addy long enough to actually have feelings for him. The whole thing seemed ridiculous, and I didn't want Zach making fun of me for being in this situation.
"Yeah, man," I said after a long pause. "I'm just mentally preparing for this game tonight. Biggest rivals, you know how it goes."
Zach smiled, gave me a few words of encouragement and then sauntered off to get ready for his first class. After that, I was left to my thoughtsÉ. Which was kind of a bad thing. No, it's not bad that I like Addy, it's the simple fact that I don't really know him. I knew snippets of him. So did I really like him, or was I in love with the idea of him?
This thinking plagued my mind as I made my way to my first class, and distracted me all the way until lunch. Before I knew it, the bell was ringing and all of the students were suddenly jumping from their chairs as if they had been released from some sort of terrible experimental laboratory. We have an open campus for lunch, so I was heading my car so I could go grab something greasy and get back to the school before anybody else did. Lost in my own thoughts, I didn't even hear my name being called until I felt the muscular hand on my shoulder.
"Holy shit!" I said with a huge startle. Fuck my life, I thought. It's him. He stood there beaming at me. I had never really noticed it before, but he seemed to be about my height or maybe a bit taller. Either way, it was a complete turn on.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you. I'd been calling your name for about 2 minutes," he said. "Uhm, so I know this is really awkward since we really only talked in our little detention sessions, but would you want to go get lunch today? I mean, if it doesn't break your pre-game ritual that is. If not, we can totally do it some other time."
I noticed he was rambling and getting a bit flushed. Part of me wanted him to keep going, but I just smiled and accepted his offer.
We debated a bit on where to go (not many options in hillbilly nation), and we decided on a small burger joint a little bit up the road from the high school. The restaurant is known for taking a while to get your order, so there's never many students that go there during lunch, but, for Addy, I was willing to skip class. We talked, gossiped and got to know each other more than we did during our study sessions. It was refreshing, it was awesome, it wasÉterrifying. The only other person I'd opened up to was Zach, and it took me years to open up to him. Addy was over here breaking down my walls like it was nothing.
"I guess it's time we got back to school, huh?" he said with a sly grin. I really didn't want to leave, especially since I felt so at home here– so at home with him. We made plans to meet up again after the football game when everyone typically headed to the nearest house party. I. Could. Not. Fucking. Wait.
We finally got back to school and I went about my day as best as I could, but I kept getting sidetracked by the amazing time that I had during lunch. I saw Zach right after school ended and filled him in on everything that happened during lunch.
"Awe!" he said in his annoying mocking voice," Does Wittle Wandun have a wittle cwush?"
I feel like I stared at him and stared straight through his soul. He must have felt it too, because he shut up real quick.
"Would it be weird if I did? I've never really been in a serious relationshipÉI mean, you know everything about me including my not-so-fun part of my life, but so do you think I'm ready?'
He looked at me as if I were crazy as I ranted on and on about how I didn't think I was ready to be in a relationship.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP" he said. I just stood there at him looking dumbfounded. "Bro, you're never going to be completely ready for a relationship. It's just going to happen. You have to be ready to take the dive or you're going to be running scared asking yourself `what if' for the rest of your life. I've never seen you talk about any guy before the way you're talking about him, so you obviously have some sort of crush on him. I think you owe it to yourself to see it through, don't you?"
With no other words to be said, I just looked at him and simply stated, "This is why you're my best friend."
"I know. Now get your head on straight, we play our biggest rivals in a couple of hours, and we need you on your A-game."
He had a point. I decided to not focus on Addy, as difficult as it was, and began my pre-game ritual.
I went to the gas station and got a Gatorade and an apple and went home for an hour before I had to be back up at the school to get ready for the game. As part of my pre-game ritual, I always had to listen to heavy metal music. I know, a gay guy listening to metal music, crazy right? I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved a pop diva as much as the next gay guy, but something about metal music just got my adrenaline pumping and helped me get prepared for the game ahead.
After lying down and getting my mind right, I decided to make my way back to the football field to get taped and ready. As I was heading out my phone started to buzz, and my heart skipped a beat seeing Addy's name on the screen.
Hey, Landon! Want to meet up after the game? A girl named Clarissa invited me to a party and she said I could bring anybody I wanted to!
I knew all about Clarissa's parties. Yeah, she was a popular girl (I mean, she's the head cheerleader. That just screams popularity, right?) but her parties were known for getting out of control sometimes. Weed, booze, and sex. That's just a small amount of what you can see at her place during a typical party. Her parents were business people in the city about an hour away, so they frequently went on business trips. That, and she had so much control over them that she would just kick the out of the house sometimes. Guess it pays to be a princess sometimes.
Sure. Sounds like a plan. Meet me outside the locker room after the game?
After I got his approval, I got back into the football mindset. I drove down to the football field and began to change into my athletic shorts so I could get my knees and wrists taped. I looked like I was part mummy after this was finished.
I went and sat at my locker listening to Down With The Sickness by Disturbed to help get myself pumped up for the game. Yes, I know, a rock song for a gay boy? Surprising, I know. But I've always loved this kind of music. Yeah, I had a pop icon like everybody else (I've been known to get in formation once or twice), but rock is where my true heart is.
Finally I heard the coach storming in to the locker room to gather everyone for our pre-game ritual.
"Okay, everybody get your butts up here" he bellowed. "Alright, we've been prepping for this game for a while. These guys may be our rivals, but they're just like us. They put their pants on one leg at a time. Don't be intimidated and give it your all. If we go out there with no mistakes, then there's no doubt in my mind that we'll win."
Coach's pre-game speeches always gave me peace of mind before stepping out on to the field. It gave me that "I feel invincible" mentality that made me feel like I could survive a bullet that passes right through my skull.
As we were running out on to the field I looked up in the stands and right away I saw him. His smile never leaves his face as he shouts good luck to me. It seemed like there were a million people in the stands, but he was the only one that I saw and I was the only one that he could see.
I heard my name being yelled and I quickly snapped out of it and headed for the huddle. I needed to get my mind focused. I wasn't even sure if he was gay or not, I kind of just assumed he was.
The game, if you could even call it that, went by pretty quickly. It was a beating with us winning 49-7. Their only touchdown was me getting distracted by Addy and fumbling the ball in the end zone. We were all celebrating and running toward the locker room hooting, hollering towards the fans that awaited us at the entrance.
I finally hear my name being yelled by Zach and right beside him was Addy. Apparently they had accidentally sat by each other during the game and hit it off before realizing that they both knew me. I gave a quick bro hug to Zach and looked at Addy. Damn, he looked so attractive in his ripped jeans, beanie and our football spirit shirt. I couldn't stop staring, and he couldn't stop staring at me. It was just like when I was out on the field and he was the only one I saw. The only difference was that now I'm standing about 2 feet in front of him.
I saw his mouth move trying to form the words "Good game" but it never made it. I jumped and kissed him on the lips not caring what anybody else was doing or saying. I felt his tongue begging for entrance to my mouth and I gladly accepted it. I don't know what came over me, but I finally came to my senses and slowly pulled away. We were both out of breath and I was finally beginning to realize that we were in a crowded place surrounded by friends and family.
I looked to my left and saw Zach completely slack jawed with his eyes as wide as saucers. "THAT'S MY BITCH!" he finally yelled out after a long silence. He did some weird jump and threw himself at me to embrace me in a huge bear hug.
"I knew something was going on with you, and you were hiding something! I knew it. I fucking knew it!" he said with a smile on his face. He turned to Addy and tried to give his best intimidating big brother look but was essentially failing to hide his big grin. "You better not hurt him you asshole. Hurt him and I hurt you."
"Stop!" I said as I playfully shoved him in the shoulder. "I don't even know what we are yet. This just kindaÉhappened"
"Yeah, but I'm glad it did." I was semi-startled when I heard Addy speak up, and my face turned about as red as our school colors.
"I have to go get showered and dressed for the party. I'll meet you back out here." Addy grabbed me into a bear hug kissed me one more time on the lips and slapped my ass as I began to walk towards the locker room.
Authors note:
Hey guys! I know, I know, it's been FOREVER. Life sucks. I can't make any promises on how regularly this will get updated, but I'm going to aim for once every other week. (Hopefully). Thank you to everyone who reached out to me during my hiatus to keep updated on the story. Next chapter is where things start to heat up, and I can't wait for you all to see what Landon does next.
Cheers,
Landon