This is a work of fiction - names and places are elements of fiction.
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A Stepbrother's Desire - Josh and Tyson 51
The basketball team did not win the championship. It's very hard to get your arms around the fact they made it that far without a total victory. I may have found myself in a very similar place if I had been able to play an undefeated season. As Ty and I had discussed, as he and Jordan had discussed, there is a certain reverence that comes with the opportunity to go "all the way," to play in a championship game, and to take such a win with you to the next level, college ball. No one will take anything from Jordan or his players. They played with everything they had. The winning team was just having one of those afternoons. Every player who got possession of the ball and had a chance to shoot, scored. Simple as that. Bill watched the game on television with Ty and me and he seemed in a decent mood. Mom made hamburgers on the grill which I helped her with. Ty chipped in with an avocado salad using avocados purchased a week earlier. I was unaware as Ty was, that avocados ripen slowly. Never count on using one fresh from the store.
The banter during dinner was quiet. We were all disappointed that the game ended as it did - 97-76. I know Ty was feeling it for Jordan and so was I. But the other thing that settled on my shoulders was that the end of the basketball season was just, well, one more thing down, as we headed to the big end game - graduation. Tristan's Track league was winding down but baseball was in full swing. With work and Ty's tennis, I didn't have much time for baseball games and it might sound stupid, but neither Ty nor I had any desire to go down on that field.
"Josh, you look like you have something on your mind. You ok?" mom asked.
"Ginny wants to hang out tonight. I've barely talked to her this week," I said, not giving away anything that was really on my mind. I know what Ginny wants. She is going to tell me about her and Kyle. My talk with Ty earlier helped me put things in perspective. I'm glad for the forewarning in this instance because getting blindsided by something like this could cause a lot of damage.
I pulled into Ginny's driveway and walked up to the door. Her mom answered the door.
"How are you, Mrs. Tatum?" I asked.
"Exhausted!" she exclaimed, leading me into the foyer.
"Really?" I asked.
"Josh, I shot half of those hoops this afternoon!" and I started to laugh. "Oh yeah," she stammered. "I was running and dribbling and damn I couldn't bring those yankees down!" and by then I was hollering with laughter. I was reminded of Bill telling us about Gigi fighting the bad guyin Karate Kid. Southern ladies, you have to love them.
"Well, I know you gave it your best, Mrs. Tatum. The team will want to thank you!" I said and I heard Mr. Tatum crack up from back in the den. Ginny came down the stairs.
"Bummer!" she said. She was very casual in a pair of slim jeans and a pair of canvas shoes. I was glad because I wasn't in the mood for anything fancy. We headed out to the car and I asked where to.
"I think ice cream," she said and I knew she wanted to go to that ice cream place that considers butter pecan a "walmart" ice cream. They have fancy flavors like Pear Sorbet and Ugandan Vanilla - whatever! I barely had gotten out on Broad when Ginny gasped and demanded I pull over.
"Stop the car, Josh! Stop the car!" she yelled.
"What?" I asked loudly in response, changing lanes and quickly pulling into a parking lot. I stopped abruptly in an empty space where there were no cars around.
"I can't take it anymore, Josh. I have something to tell you. I haven't told anyone and I'm fucking crazy!" and she, well, she didn't drop her face into her hands nor did she slap her face with her hands. It was like a halfway meetup and hands and face and suddenly, a wave or empathy swept over me, like the kind you feel only when your feelings about someone are real.
Placing my hand on her shoulder, I asked quietly, "what is it Ginny? What's wrong? I've never seen you so upset." I waited quietly for her to calm down.
"Josh, I'm sorry. That was wreckless of me."
"No, it's ok. You must be carrying something very heavy. What is it? Do you want to tell me right here?"
"Yes, I don't want a public ear anywhere near me when I tell you what happened. And Josh, this is one of those things, it's one of those moments where I don't need your personal opinions messing with your good sense. I really need you right now. Are you with me?" she asked. Oh thank you lord for letting me have been warned!
"Go ahead, Ginny. What is it?"
"Kyle and me, so, Kyle and I," she paused. I waited. "Kyle and I did it after prom, Josh. I won't say we made love but we did have sex. You know it was my first time and, well, I don't regret it. He was the best I could have asked for. My only regret is that I'm not picturing a future with him. We're about to head off in different directions but I, well, Josh, I had to tell you. What I've just told you is as far as I've gotten in my thought process," she said, gaining her factual, intellectual voice back.
"Ok, wow. That is big news," I said. She gave me a surprised look.
"Is that the best you got?" she asked and I laughed.
"Sorry, Ginny, you are surprising me with news that could get me completely wound up but instead, I'm trying to remain calm and open minded. Can I get some credit here?"
"Ok, ok, it's all out there now. You're not as wound up as I expected but that's ok. We can work with it."
"Listen Ginny, I had a suspicion Kyle might get that far with you and although I have always considered you "mine" in so many ways, I know that you weren't. The fact you have been so amazing to me, well, it's hard for me to think of you with someone. But, I get it. Kyle was, well, he was it."
"Oh my God, Josh. You are totally on the right page! I'm, like, speechless!" she said. I smiled, knowing she didn't know and I was coming off like a complete hero or something. "Keep it up," I told myself.
"Listen Ginny, were you safe?"
"Yes."
"Did it, well, did he, so...was he good? I mean did you feel like he was "in it" with you?" I asked.
"Yes we had all that. The night had been so amazing. I was on the fence about it throughout the whole prom but after the prom, we met in the lobby. He had a room. He looked so poised and responsible. He looked like a gentleman, and someone I might one day be married to. He had it all right there in that moment and I said `yes'," and that was it," she said. My heart was wrenching, my head was spinning for a response. My knees clapped together in an awkward way.
"Ginny, Ty and I, we are so far down the road on the sex and love thing. But there have been other instances where..."
"The Tristan thing," she offered.
"Well, yes!" and I was slipping on wet pavement trying not to give things away. "Yes, I took Tristan's virginity as you already know. I totally understand what it is to be the one to take it and be the one to give it. For those of us who really care about people, there is a hige need to make sure that the deed counts, that it's done without regrets and upset and whatever. Ginny, I just want you to be fucking happy. If your thinking says you were in the right place at the right time, and you have no regrets, then you're good. If your thinking says something else, well, you might need another female's help. Know what I'm saying? What I am saying is that I'm not going to judge you and I think this was you trying to be fair to me in telling me. That's it," I said. She did something quite unexpected and leaned forward and kissed me. It was a good kiss but I wasn't prepared for the onslaught of lipstick. Ok, that was not my favorite thing.
"What was that for?" I asked.
"You are so incredible, Joshua Warner. I just expected this conversation to be so different and it was exactly what I needed. You must have super powers," she said.
"Ginny, this is one friendship I wouldn't want to blow at such a late stage. What can I ever do to thank you for supporting me, well, Ty and me, pretending to be my girl, providing cover like you did. What? Tell me."
"You just did, Josh. You just paid it all back," and damn if she didn't start to cry. You know I'm all good with things until they start to cry. I grabbed a tissue out of the console. Mom had left those in there way back when it was her car.
"Ginny, Ty had this weird conversation with someone and ever since he told me about it, I have considered the question several times. One of them was with Keith Burch. Another one has been Tristan and the last one is you."
"What are you talking about?" she asked, laughing.
"On another planet, another day, with all things being different, would I be a guy, you know, the guy you would like or want? I know its a dumb question but in some ways, it's very revealing about your secret desires but it also does things to your esteem..."
"Josh, shut up!" she barked. "I know the question you are asking. I know the planet and I have an image in mind, one where you are the City Attorney representing the city council and I'm the editor of an architectural publication. We have two children, one named Glinda, after my grandmother, and a little boy named Christopher, because he would look like you with bushy dark hair, running around in the backyard chasing imaginary creatures like Christopher Robin!" Bam! My face got hot and my eyes watered. "Oh Josh, you're such a softy," she said quietly, sweetly.
"Why not Bryce?" Ginny asked quietly, knowing she has shocked me into oblivion.
"It's too much for me to put Bryce in a gay place on top of everything else. He's a good man and would be a good man, but not..."
"I get it. I was just curious," she said. She leaned back in her seat and relaxed. I guessed all our stuff was out on the table. I had just about sized up the impact I had on everyone, I knew where I stood with them. No need to press the point. We drove out to Nina's Ice Cream Boutique and I had ice cream that had bananas and some sort of crunch that was really pretty amazing. Ginny had a hazelnut chocolate that she got all over her face. It was the first time I ever saw Ginny look like a little girl. I pictured what a little Glinda might look like.
On Sunday, Bryce, Tristan and myself watched Ty's tennis match where he played like a fiend. He was moving fast and his backswing had become more powerful. One shot tipped the net and curved over his opponent's head. Tristan and I looked at each other and cracked up.
"Did you get it?" Tristan asked just loud enough for everyone around us to hear, indicating the opponent looked like he was swatting a fly. Bryce and I cracked up. Ty took that match and took the next one as well. I looked back a few rows and saw Bill sitting there by himself. Mom had a meeting that afternoon and couldn't come to the match.
"Excuse me guys," I said, as I eased up to where Bill was sitting.
"Hey Josh," he said, as I took a seat by him.
"Ty is on fire today, isn't he?" I asked.
"I would say so," Bill said with a chuckle. "I wonder," he said.
"Wonder what?" I asked.
"I wonder if that's my doing," Bill said quietly.
"I see a lot of improvement in his swing. I think he's getting stronger," I said. Given my athletic nature, I know these things.
"There is that but what you don't recognize is his focus. Watching him watch the ball, I dare say he has laser vision out there today." He looked at me. "I've been hard on you two and I'm not sure it was warranted. I'm not at all sure my fears are going to come true. But watching Ty, I see a boy who is determined to put something out of his mind in order to put something else in it. Did you notice it?" he asked. I didn't actually but played along.
"Well I can say there was a focus. I think the harder I am on him, the harder he is on the court." Bill said. I nodded, giving his suggestion some thought.
"He has been moody of late, Dad. I know you're disappointed that I made that choice at prom and I've been willing to leave the whole thing alone since the school didn't go crazy about it. Ty is disappointed that you're putting the opinions of your firm over us and that's not what Ty stands for. He can't lead the diversity group next year with the same platform, caring what others think over what is right."
"I thought I had something to tell you, Josh, but it seems you have something to tell me. That is a very fair assessment." In a quiet voice, and so no one could hear, even though there was hardly anyone around us he whispered, "deep down I was very proud of you. You lit a fire under Ty by making that choice and it might as well be impacting his game," and I was staring unable to respond. He had never said anything like that to me before. It was like I had drank a vile of "liquid luck" or whatever that was in Harry Potter because this was simply the best conversation my step father and I had experienced in weeks.
"In fact Josh, I might only say this once but I'm going to say it. It is an amazing thing and one I still cannot understand that while your mother and I were clearly ready for each other, I think you and Ty were absolutely ready for each other as well. Don't you dare repeat that. I must maintain plausible deniability!" and he started to laugh. I laughed too but I wasn't sure why. What he just said to me summed everything up. He just characterized everything Ty and I had gone through this past year in one sentence.
"Text Ty to meet us in the parking lot. I think we should have a light dinner to celebrate Ty's wins," and I couldn't get my phone out of pocket fast enough. There was something with Bill today I wasn't going to let slide by.
Bryce headed out to meet up with his parents and his sister for dinner and Tristan headed home. I know shit was going on at his house and I didn't know what to say to him. Ty had let on and Jack had as well that his mother was going through wine like water. Fortunately she was not a crazy drunk and never had a bad temper but still it must be unnerving. Ty said Tristan was leaning on him as he needed to, as he had always done. She goes through spells. Tristan told Ty that he felt like it was because he was away so much with Jack. Ty told him he couldn't take credit for his mom's problems. She had always been this way and because Gigi had gone through bouts of depression and drinking, he understood.
Bill, Ty and I all had separate cars at the match so we agreed to take our cars home and take one car out to dinner. As Bill headed out of the parking lot, I told Ty to be aware, his dad was in a reflective mood and it was in our favor!
"I broke him down!" exclaimed Ty as he hopped into his mini-cooper and headed out of the parking lot. We met at home and we jumped in Bill's car.
"Those were great matches, Ty. You were on fire today," Bill said.
"I felt good out there. That's for sure," said Ty. "Thanks for coming, dad. I really appreciated seeing you in the stands," Ty said softly.
When we got to the sushi place, we ordered our favorite sushi rolls. Bill was not a big sushi fan and ordered a noodle bowl.
"Ty, you might think I'm crazy when I say this but did you consider that I'm the reason you are playing so well?" Ty laughed lightly then he laughed harder.
"Well if you're suggesting I got my athletic prowess from you, Dad, well, no, I didn't consider that!" and Bill laughed as well.
"I haven't played tennis since I was your age!" Bill said. "No, I don't think you got tennis skills from me. In fact, you probably got them from your mother because she loved tennis and had some skill. What I'm saying is that having made things "moody" in the house," which I thought he repeated from our conversation at the tennis court, "maybe you were directing your frustration into the game. I don't have science to back me up but..." and ty interrupted.
"Yeah Dad, it seems when I get stressed I play harder. Like, I become very competitive and it affects my game. I was in a moody state last year when I pulled the "sit down." Do you remember that?" Ty asked.
"Oh yes, I think we all recall that!" Bill replied.
"But I'm not blaming you for being concerned. I know your job is important," Ty said.
"It is, but so are you and Josh. I spent more time being proud of you than I have being disappointed this past year and I certainly don't want to end this school year with all our nerves in knots. If anyone was going to say something at work, they would have already done so, so I think it's time to let it go."
"He said deep down he was proud of me for picking you for the dance," I said light-heartedly.
"Josh!" Bill said.
"I know, I couldn't help it."
"Wow, Dad. Did you say that? Because I'm going to say that it was the most exciting thing that Josh could've done. In fact, that one act is going to help me shape my agenda for next year. Even if mom doesn't help with the prom next year, we will be doing that program again!" Ty said. Bill's eyes widened. I cracked up.
"Ty, I have a suggestion for you. It's a risk but one I think you should consider," Bill said.
"What?" Ty asked with trepidation.
"Challenge the number 2 player on your team. You have performed well as number 3 and you defended the seat against that guy. I'd like to see you push a little athletically. It's ok if you don't win the seat so why not give it a try," Bill said. I was duly impressed. I should've thought of it myself.
"Why not, Ty? Go for it, man!" I told him. Ty smiled.
"Have y'all lost your minds? That's Ashton we're talking about. He's privately trained!" Ty exclaimed.
"So?" I said.
"Hmmmm," Ty said with a gleam in his eye.
"Take the momentum and run for it. You can tell them you're just pressing your luck and play the humility card. If you lose, you can tell Ashton you're honing your skills against the better player. He will love it," Bill said.
"That's not bad, Dad. Maybe I will. Our new Guy is challenging the guy I pushed back to 4 so there will be challenge games coming up. Maybe I will."
"I like it when we're all like this," I said, feeling warm and cozy with my step father and my boyfriend, well, where none of the relationship labels counted for anything. We were people who lived together and took care of each other, whatever the label.
"What do you mean?" Bill asked.
"I can put up with a lot of crap in the outside world when things are good in my "inside" world," I said.
"So true," said Ty.
"I get it and I'm happy you feel that way. You boys are really something...something I might not...," Bill said lightly.
"You can cut it right there," said Ty and we laughed. Our food was delivered and we dug in. Ty used his laser focus to swipe one of my sushi pieces and I told him if he tried that again, he would only be able to keep score at the next tennis match. Bill cracked up and said this was his favorite part. Brothers over everything else.
That evening, after we returned home, mom was in the family room having a glass of wine.
"Hey guys," she said, extending her to grab Ty by the arm. "I heard you were amazing this afternoon, Ty," she said, smiling.
"Thanks. It was two good matches," he said. "I was glad dad was there," he said.
"I'm glad too. Today was a big day, and I think it's time to fill you in," she said.
"Are you ready honey?" Bill said.
"Yes, I think we put the final touches on everything today," mom said. Ty and I took seats on the sofa by mom. Bill said in his wing chair.
"So, you're both aware that Bill's firm wants to can me!" mom started.
"Karen! That's not it at all!" Bill said.
"I know, I'm just "joshing"," she said. I gave her a squinted eye glare.
"But yes, the firm is trying to maintain its policy on nepotism and has asked if there is anything I have considered exploring. Well, I have explored and I'm taking the job."
"Which job?" Ty asked.
"I'm going to work for Mayor Buxtehude at City Hall. I will be Chief of Staff in charge of the executive offices. Nothing will happen there that does not go through me, and honestly, I'm going to love this role," Mom said, with a gleam in her eye.
"I didn't think you like Mr. Buxtehude," I said.
"I don't and I told him so," Mom said.
"Damn!" said Ty. "Why would he..."
"He hired someone he liked in the first round and she was a limp noodle. He prefers someone who isn't fawning over him but is running the office despite his feelings, someone who will make tough calls and hold everyone to task," and mom laughed. "He likes the fact I agree with his politics but am not afraid of him. He really has a chance to do some good things but the EO (executive offices) have to be properly managed. He will only be in office for four years so it's not a lifetime commitment and I will not take the role formally until Josh graduates," mom added.
"Very good, honey," said Bill. "Sounds like you got all your points worked out!"
"Yes, I did and frankly, I'm going to miss the team but this puts me in a strong leadership role. Ty is going to be so self sufficient next year that, well, I'm not sure anyone will miss me around here," mom said, jokingly.
"Don't even think that!" Ty said. "It's going to be nice having a mother in the mayor's office, I have to admit. The possibilities are endless!" Ty quipped.
"Oh what? You have a political agenda, Mister "I'm running things at school!" I quipped.
"Between mom running City Hall and me running the school, wow!" said Ty.
"Diversity and inclusion is hardly running the school, Mr. Breck," said Bill chuckling.
"Y'all are bringing me down!" said Ty. We were all laughing. I felt a pinch just behind my left eye. Seems life was going to carry on, despite me being gone. Ty was building an agenda for an important initiative at school. Mom was sailing off to a new job, and not just any job, but an important job. Bill was promoted and was leading the corporate law division. I was going to be a lowly freshman in college. I felt the urge to talk to another graduating senior. I excused myself and went up to my room. I picked up the cell and called Bryce.
"Hey man," Bryce said in a hostile tone.
"What the hell's wrong with you?" I asked. Everything was ok a few hours ago when we left the tennis match.
"Lisa thinks it's time to break up!" he snarled. "I mean things have been so good. We've been good together. I mean, you know I went through some stuff, J, but Lees has been amazing." His voice was getting quieter. "I loved spending time with her, man. What's up with that?"
"Why?" I asked.
"She said now that prom is over, we have to focus on graduation and she doesn't want to be tied down all summer. She said she really loved me and I had been all the guy she hoped I would be the last few months but she needed her space," and he fell quiet.
"I'm sorry man. It may not be over as of today. I went through the "space" thing with Ty and everything worked out just fine."
"It's different with you two," Bryce said and I knew he was telling the truth.
"Bryce, promise you'll calm down. We'll talk about it tomorrow. You'll be ok, dude. I promise," I said.
"I want to believe you but you know how I am. Clingy and all," Bryce said.
"A pussy is more like it!" I chided. He cracked up laughing. "I'm going to kick your ass tomorrow before homeroom!" he announced and he clicked off. I felt a little bad but this was the state of things. Prom was over. Everyone was about to part ways on different paths. Bryce and Lisa worked well together despite Bryce trying to play with bisexuality. "He doesn't even know what it is," I thought and laughed. He might have to accept that he had a good time but he may want to have some freedom before heading off to college as well. Ty and I met at midnight but we had a short visit. He was worn out from tennis and I was in a thoughtful mood. We just replayed the day's events and news. He knew, like I knew, change was coming and there were changes coming for us too. We just didn't want to admit them out loud.
Author's Note:
I had one reader congratulate me on making it to 50 chapters. The fact is, I'm not sure I could have stretched this out so far if it hadn't been for your support, emails, suggestions and even your threats! Thank you all for helping me carry this story so far. It could have been told in 5 chapters but no one would have had any fun! There are still a few adventures ahead but be aware, nothing lasts forever. Again, thank you for seeing this through with me. I hope you're safe, healthy, and loving life!