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A Stepbrother's Desire - Josh and Tyson 75
Wow, so that last chapter was a hell of a place to leave readers. I have to laugh. So now, I guess you're wondering what's going on. Well, quite a lot actually. I'm 30 years old. I'm a junior partner in an old, very fine law firm in Washington D.C. I have done well, but not without a certain level of drama and not without an extreme amount of work.
You wonder what Ty's status is. You will be very excited to know that he is lying here in the bed beside me, his beautiful ass sticking out of the covers like it does when he sleeps on his stomach. His hole is still glistening from our sex last night and while that may not sound so attractive, it really is. Totally turns me on!. Yeah, I gave it to him old school last night. We did some celebrating.
You see, without giving away the plot, he has spent the past two years writing a story. In fact, the original manuscript, more than 1600 pages, is over in my study sitting on a glass top desk. Beside that script are two contracts, each more than 68 pages long, that I have read, studied, considered, and on which, I will opine. Today at 4 pm, I will tell him which contract best serves his objectives and which production company's proposal will be accepted. I can't help but be a bit emotional because he put his heart and soul into it, literally. .
"Hey Josh, who are you talking to?" asks Ty in his groggy sleep.
"Nobody babe. I'm just preparing everyone for the 10 year post-rehash." I tell him.
"Oh God," and he put his pillow over his head. I laugh.
So back to that first fateful day of my freshman year of college. There were two relationships that for the most part defined my freshman year and the following years as well. First, there was Justin Burke, the little placebo who taught me what if felt like to be entirely fucked over. Never forgot that and learned sufficiently from it to ensure it never happened again. The second was my roommate, Perry Kaufman. I didn't like him at first. He was a slender handsome guy with bushy dark hair, fair complexion, dark eyes, and small round lips. He really was very handsome and seemingly very straight, not showing much interest in any one, despite his attractiveness. And despite being Jewish, an accomplished violinist, and any number of other cultural differences, he became my best friend. In fact, he still is. I learned what it meant to truly love someone without the sex. And he adores Ty and all of our friends adore him. Perry may be anywhere in the world playing in a concert and he will take my call. Well, he has me on retainer so he's afraid not to.
So let's get into all of that and we can fill you in on Ty and Tristan, the parents, and all the rest. . Speaking of the parents, I have to call Bill this morning to confirm that he's coming to our party tonight as my mother is now Mrs. Mayor and runs a very busy schedule. After Mr. Buxtehude completed his two-term limit, mother stepped in and ran with his endorsement. She took down those old money conservative men who opposed her with a landslide. She's had a good year and a half and has compiled a Mayor Consortium to address city-level issues with other cities. More on that later.
So that afternoon, Perry walked into the dorm room with a fair amount of stuff, not unlike what I had brought. He filled the drawers and closet with the same quantity of clothes and necessities. He had more books than I had and he had a violin. I was helpful to his family and he said he appreciated that. He was, on first observation, very introverted and quiet. His mother told me he was quite thorough with his studies and took school very seriously. I told her he might be a good influence on me.
That first weekend involved a bit of wandering around. I did that by myself. I ran into a couple of people from my highschool and one girl from my old high school. I didn't picture her the collegiate type so who knew. I ran into Justin Burke and some of his friends. That got me an invitation to lunch on Sunday so we could get to know the cafeteria and the food court. They would, for the next few weeks, become my dining partners. There were three girls and two guys. The guys, Carter and Sean, were a little stuck up but were friendly enough if you were in good with them. Justin was the friendlier of the three. He was the cuter of the three as well. I determined the girls were their "street frontage" and gave them ground cover as the guys didn't want to be "out."
Ty had a great kickoff with the Dive-in Festival. The festival day went off like a complete smash and I could tell by the tone in his voice that evening he was exhausted. There were a group of guys who thought it would be funny to shout out "brother lover" at him during presentations. I understand Mel and her "team" put them down in a physical altercation. Nobody was hurt but the message was received. The younger generation was to learn that gay guys were NOT up for grabs at Brumfield. .
Ty is laughing. "Brother lover! Sounds very sexy, doesn't it? I still can't believe that fucker said that!" Ty is saying.
"It was partially true," I respond.
"And I remain a `brother lover' to this day." Ty says.
So as I got accustomed to classes, I also made some casual friends from around the dorm and in classes. Perry jumped into his books and his violin lessons. I could tell from just playing around in the dorm room that he was very good. He laughed when I told him my mother worked for Mayor Buxtehude as his Chief of Staff. I didn't understand until he informed me that Buxtehude was a very important musician from the 1700's. I gave some thought to Lisa and her parents and between the three of them, not sure they could sing one song! I don't even remember Lisa singing with the radio.
"Maybe not descendants!" I offered. With a chuckle, Perry fell back into his quiet, isolated life and I continued chasing mine.
I was hanging out with Justin and friends several nights during the week and Justin was enjoying playing "cat and mouse." He would bump me, touch me, flash me gorgeous smiles. I had to admit I was very enchanted. Not enough to change my feelings for Ty but the distance did play on us and I was horny. Going from having my boyfriend in the room adjacent to mine to this dormitory cell was a big change. My body and mind weren't keeping up. Cute guys, big ones, little ones, flaming, straight, all types. I thought I may need a "Dive-In" program of my own!
That next weekend, I went with the group to a frat party. Perry had to go home and work with an orchestra rehearsal. A frat party sounded very fun. So did kegs of beer!
"Come on, Josh!" shouted Kelly, standing in my doorway. "We need to get moving!" she barked. Justin rolled his eyes. Groups of students were on the move that night. Partiers were heading in all sorts of directions. Justin walked close by my side while his friends walked in front of us. We got to the party and it was a full-on party by the time we got there. People were everywhere! The party itself was a blur. After several beers drank from a red plastic cup, I found myself wandering outside the frat house. I needed air. It was hot in there with bodies and hormones everywhere and everybody was drunk. Being in a crowded house where I didn't know many people was difficult for me. Justin found me.
"I was looking for you," he said in a quiet voice. His eyes flashed like lightning. I had seen that look before. I thought of Tristan, although he and Justin were nothing alike.
"I had to get out of there. Those guys, well, they're really stupid, aren't they?" Justin laughed.
"This is us now. This is where we get `stupid' out of our system so we can go out and become rich and prosperous like our parents," Justsin said. "I guess you were picturing elegant, handsome boys with styled hair, wearing blue blazers sitting around on leather sofas admiring a fire!" Justin laughed again.
"I guess so! No, not really. Guys don't do that here, do they?" He leaned against me.
"Oh there are parties like that too. The money-cliques have their little cocktail things. I've been to one," Justin said. "Boring, but I did give some head," and he smiled. Before I could respond, he continued, "Its getting chilly at night. Have you noticed?" he asked. I pushed back into him enjoying the feel of a body against mine. I had missed my midnight runs with Ty so much. Finding some privacy to jack off was a chore as well. Yeah, I had gotten horny and it didn't take a syllabus to figure that out!
"I like you leaning against me," I said. He smiled and put his face against my shoulder.
"I like it too," he whispered. "I hope you don't mind me saying, but I would like to spend some time alone with you, Josh. Without the group, you know? Is that bad for me to say?" he asked.
"Nope, not at all. In fact, my roommate is away. Want to go hangout?" I asked. He nodded his head without saying anything. I told him to text one of the group so they would know where he was. He agreed that was a sound idea. We walked around the campus and ran into any number of party goers. Girls cheering and giving off the fake laugh. Guys shouting sports quips and trying to look cool. I was on a mission, flying under the radar. I had a guy and I was going to enjoy this night. The fact he was so incredibly gorgeous didn't hurt anything. My phone beeped and I looked at the message. Bryce Chatley was at a similar party and was chugging beer from a funnel with a hose attached to it. A beer gong. I would have to talk to him about that. I didn't need him becoming a drunk to please everyone.
We entered the dorm and went to my room. He sat in my desk chair.
"You haven't found anyone to go out with?" Justin asked.
"No, you know I was really tight with..."
"With Ty. Yeah I know. I knew about that before we got here."
"Really?" I asked.
"Oh yeah, it's hard to not know. There were guys who would pay to see you and Ty together. Tall, dark, and handsome versus the blonde bombshell? Better than any porn!" he barked. I was astounded and my face must have shown it. No poker face here!
"I'm sorry, Josh. That was rude. You really are so hot. I feel flattered that you're hanging out with me," he said shyly.
"No, not rude. I'm just surprised. I didn't know we were so widely known but I can't resist that form of compliment. Yeah, Ty and I had an amazing time. You know it was a total accident. My mom, his dad, well, you know."
"Yes, I get it. I would've liked Ty myself. When he played tennis he looked so cool."
"Thanks, that's cool for you to say."
"But you're here now. He's there. What does that mean?" asked Justin.
"We play on the field we've been assigned to, I guess. I won't hurt him but I can't deny..." and he pulled my sweatshirt and I came face to face with him. He kissed me. I kissed him back. Then we kissed each other. His lips were soft like I liked. He touched my cheek. I pushed my fingers into his soft hair. He unsnapped my jeans and took me into his mouth. It was like a heaven I hadn't experienced in a while. I lifted him from the chair and undid his pants. He looked at me as if he didn't know what to do next. But he did.
"Oh fuck!" shouts Ty. "I know what you're telling and I'm going to take a shower. I don't need to hear this today!" and he's leaving the bed.
"Sorry babe. They want to know."
"I know they do!" and he stormed into the bathroom.
So, I turned Justin away from me. I felt his ass. I gently massaged his asscheeks. He groaned. I kissed his neck.
"Oh my God, Josh, you're really good at..." I shoved my tongue in his ear. It sounded like he swallowed his own tongue. I pressed my body against his and my dick slipped into his ass crack. I wrapped my arms around him. He was lean and his body was firm. He was an inch shorter than me. We were a good fit, at the moment.
"Do you want to? I mean, are you ready?"
"Yes and yes," he whispered. "I have been ready!" I lubed and pushed into him. I pushed him to my bed. He got on his knees. I gave him a very slow and intense fuck. Well, he gave me one back.
"Oh fuck me, Josh!" he said, backing on me with a strong push. I grabbed his sides and thrusted. Fuck, he was a good hole.
"Damn, Justin. You are fucking hot!" I said, trying to not let the whole dorm hear. He fell forward and laid down on his stomach. I got between his mounds and worked his ass like I never had! When I pulled out, I'm sure I shot a bit into his hair. His back was splattered with cum. He turned toward me. I kissed him hard and he came on my torso.
I was sure of one thing. I didn't have to love him, probably wouldn't love him. But I could stand to have his ass again. God that was incredible.
We laid together in my bed.
"I"m sorry for that, Justin."
"What? Why?" he asked.
"That was not my best. I was so horny and I, well, I thought it was all about me."
"That's all I'm used to," he said. "How else can it be?" he asked, running his finger over my nipple. "I mean, the top thinks he has all the fun but I was loving it too. You are, well, levels above the others," and he chuckled.
"I know how to show love but that was so unexpected. I would have liked to..." he kissed me again.
"The fact you kiss me is better than most, Josh. It's ok. We can do this again. Get a better feel for each other."
"That's a great offer," I said.
"And it's ok if I sleep here with you?"
"Of course! I like having a beautiful body laying beside me. You really are so beautiful," I said. We kissed some more and the warmth of the blanket and our bodies lulled us to sleep.
Well, that one night turned out to be my first "one-night stand." The next few days, Justin was different. He was distant, noncommittal. I texted him. Got one word responses. I texted Kelly and Cath and they didn't have much to say. I was about to eat alone in the cafeteria when I found some guys I knew. I joined them and had a few laughs. People were already starting to stress about school work piling up. I felt pretty good as my quiet roommate made me feel obligated to study when he studied. I found if I followed his pattern, I kept up to date with my homework.
Thursday night, I couldn't bear that cafeteria food. I went into town to get a bite. I walked down Main Street to find something and walked into the pizza shop. Sitting there at a big table were my fair-weathered dorm friends, the whole group, including Justin, himself. I froze and they did as well.
With nothing being said, and the feel of the frosty attitude aimed at me, I backed out of the shop. It was a terrible feeling, miserable. I didn't understand what I had just felt. What had I done to them? I walked around town, getting nothing to eat. I couldn't figure out what went wrong. Justin and I had parted with kisses. Now I was being treated like a stranger on the street? "Fuck him," I thought.
I texted Ty and he was quick to respond. We texted about nothing but the feel of his messages, which I imagined was his voice, comforted me. I was glad we weren't talking at the moment because he would have sensed how upset I was.
The next afternoon as I left English 101, Kelly chased me down the sidewalk. I tried to move out her way quickly but she caught up to me.
"Josh, would you slow down! I want to talk to you!" she barked.
"You didn't want to last night. What a shit show that was!" I snapped. She looked around to see who was looking.
"Don't want to be seen with me? That's fine. Move on!" I said and I tried to move past her. I just wanted to get back to my dorm room, to the peace and quiet that came with Perry.
"Josh, would you shut up!" My face flinched as it felt like a Lisa Buxtehude moment. I laughed a bit. "I did want to talk to you but the group, well, we're a divided bunch right now."
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"Justin. He's a prick. Always has been."
"Did he tell you about the other night?" I asked.
"Yes and he told us some other stuff too."
"Like what?"
"You had some dirty thing with your brother and while he says he likes you, you're just not in his league." I didn't move, didn't make a facial expression, didn't say a word. "I know, I know. That's a joke and we all know it!" she added.
"First, Ty is my stepbrother, no relation. Justin said he already knew that and said some flattering things about us as like how hot he thought we were and, well."
"I'm sure he did. Welcome to the bizarre world of Justin Burke," Kelly said. "The truth is, we like you. We like you a lot. And, that is what bothers Justin. Anyone who comes close to soaking up his popularity gets burned. You've been burned and Josh, I'm really sorry."
"I see. Well at least that makes sense but," I said emphatically, "I didn't want his popularity. I just wanted some friends."
"If you don't resent us all completely, you can still have "the friends." I nodded and smiled. Kelly was a cute girl.
"I appreciate that. So, you know, and I hope you don't mind me saying, you're a bit of a hottie. When do you do you get someone of your own?" I asked. She blushed.
"Josh, I didn't know you thought that!"
"Everybody thinks that. But! I also have a history with two amazingly hot girls from high school so I know one when I see one. And you have the smarts and personality to go with it. Yes, I would love to be friends again!"
"You're a mess, Josh Warner. A total charmer!" she added.
"Hahaha," Ty laughs. "You just had to throw that in, didn't you! She probably didn't even say that!"
"Shut up, Ty! She did say it! Now, mind your own business." He steps back into the bathroom. "Punk," I said quietly, to myself.
On Friday evening, I left for home. I was going to see the first football game, quarterbacked by Ford Fisher, who had texted me very regularly. But, the joy of seeing Ty, getting these college people off my brain, was so exciting. I got home just in time to stop by the house. The family was eating dinner.
"Josh!" barked mom. "So glad you made it safe."
"Welcome home," said Bill.
"Hey," said Ty. Only I would know what was included in that one-word greeting. I knew very well because I was feeling it too. One word, any word at that moment, just meant, I miss you baby!"
"So, Ty," mom continues, "is it possible to see some of the documentation? The mayor is chomping at the bit to see how this program is evolving."
"Sure, I have a complete notebook upstairs. But I need it everyday so don't run off with it," Ty responds.
"Hey, don't let me interrupt!" I say, grabbing a plate and placing a pork chop and some green beans on it. I sat in my usual chair and everyone looked at me, with quiet faces. I think I understood this as well. "Josh is home and it's all good."
The game was a triumph! The team won by two touchdowns and Ford got huge accolades for his execution. No, Ty and I did not grant him what we had suggested earlier - blowjobs if he won. That, I'm sure would be taken care of by Ricky Rose, who sat with us and did not take his eyes off Ford the whole game. They had been on a couple of dates and I could see Ricky was totally devoted.
Ty and I were cuddled in his bed late that night. We fucked, we loved, we teased, we even cried for a minute. The feel, smell, taste of his body, was so familiar but almost felt new again. I remembered how hot push into and down into him as he liked. The light shone on his hair.
"You have something on your mind," Ty said, looking into my eyes.
"Just, college is a slow start for me. My roommate is a terrible introvert and doesn't talk and you have to play politics when making friends. The burn, well it can be scorching."
"Something you want to tell me?" Ty asked.
"No, not now. When we have more time."
"Soon, then," Ty responded. "I'm so busy at school I don't have time for shit!"
"I understand. I'll be home in a couple more weeks. I want to see the Mountaineers game."
"Poor Ford. I hate he has to do that one," Ty said. "But he has your playbook and, Josh, I hear he is working the team so hard. He is really, well, he is giving it his best. He's speaking at the next Dive-In Coffee. Tristan and I can't wait!"
"Tristan?" I asked. Tristan is also a regular texter but texts don't tell whole truths. Just quips and observations.
"He's good. Busy as well. We all seem really busy."
"I understand. I'm so glad to be here with you right now, Ty. I really mean it." He kissed my lips and we wrapped our arms around each other. We had killed two hours in our "catch up sex". I was tired and would be driving back to school first thing in the morning.
It was a few days later, things, on a couple of levels, came to a head. I was heading back to the dorm following a grueling time in the science lab. Earth Science is not "rocks for jocks," as I had been advised. The class was hard and lab time was essential.
"Hey Josh!" I heard from my right side. I looked sideways to see Justin running for me. I kept walking. He caught up.
"Hey Josh," Justin said, bumping my arm on purpose. "What'cha doing?" he asked, catching his breath and trying to sound friendly.
"Heading back to the dorm. What's up?" I asked, continuing my journey.
"Josh, can you stop for a minute? I need to talk to you." He bumped my arm again. I stopped.
"What is it, Justin? I'm tired from lab."
"Eww, I bet so. Did you test the rocks today?"
"Yeah. So?" I asked, starting to feel some temper in my voice.
"Josh, I'm sorry for that thing at the restaurant the other evening. Seemed kind of..."
"Rude? Embarrassing?" I interrupted. "Yeah, it was all that but I understand. Fly too close to the flame, get burned. I fucking get it, Justin!" and yeah, my temper spilled over. He inhaled deeply.
"Josh, I'm really sorry. I know I'm a total asshole and I should've warned you that I am but I really liked you and didn't want to scare you off. I'm really sorry."
"How can you be so self-aware that you're a prick and not try to do anything to fix that, Justin? I didn't ask anything of you but I had a good time with you. For you to do that to me, well, I'm not sure what to say."
"Let me make it up to you." I remained silent. "My mom's coming into town Saturday to see me. Wants to take me to some swanky place in town for lunch. Join us!" and he sounded so enthusiastic, like nothing had happened.
"Justin," I responded as I began my journey back to the dorm, "you think I don't see right through this? Mom's coming to town, wants you to invite me to lunch so she can go back to my mom and tell her "their boys have become such good friends? Seriously, you think that will work?"
"Well, I'm not saying she might not have motives but we can play along. It will go a long way," Justin hissed, trying to keep up my pace. I walked up the stairs to the dormitory and entered. It seemed dark in the hall having been out in the sunlight. Justin followed me to my room which was just as well. We could have it out in private there, except, when I walked in, my roommate, Perry Kaufman was laying on his bed reading.
"Perry, this is Justin. Justin, Perry," I said pointing to each of them. Perry looked up from his book and went back to reading. I almost chuckled because you get nothing from him. No need to take it personally. It's just Perry Kaufman.
"So Josh, can we talk outside?"
"We can talk in here. It's private and Perry won't care. Back to what I was saying, I don't think it's a good idea for you and I embark on a "meet the mom" thing after what you did to me. I'm not real good at faking things. And I'll tell you what. I'll call my mom and tell her what you did to me and to be aware of your mom creeping up on her with fantasy tales of our "newfound friendship!"
Justin gasped. "You wouldn't dare! Come on, Josh, we got along great until I screwed things up. We don't have to hate each other!" Justin complained. "Let me take you to lunch and you'll see that old Justin again. Please!" he whined.
"And I don't hate you. I just don't want to be friends with someone who would screw me over so easily. I mean, that was really shocking to me. What a fuck thing to do!" I snapped. Justin let out a deep breath.
"And I said I'm sorry. It is possible to get over these things. You just have to forgive and forget!"
"Forgive and forget? What..."
"Sorry to interrupt here," said Perry and both Justin and I glared at him. "It seems my roommate has made up his mind and this lunch thing is not on his agenda. Why are we still arguing the point?" Perry asked in a matter of fact voice. I looked at him in total shock and I almost chuckled again.
"Why don't you stick your big nose back in that little book and mind your own damn business!" replied Justin. Perry jumped up from the bed.
"Hey," I said with a loud snap of my fingers, "you don't talk to my roommate like that, and in his own room!" After a brief silence, I advised Justin that we might have this conversation again sometime when I wasn't so tired and that he should leave.
As he closed the door, I looked at Perry, who was still standing by his bed.
"The only problem here, Joshua, is that you stood your ground but you lost control of the story. Do you trust him to tell his mom truthfully why you aren't attending lunch?" "Shit," I thought. He was right. I walked to the door and opened it and caught Justin slinking down the hall.
"Justin!" I yelled. He turned and looked at me.
"Text me what time and where to meet for lunch Saturday. Give me some notice, would you please?" He jumped up and down and waved his arms. I couldn't tell if he was having a fit or a seizure. I returned to my room.
"So where did that come from?" I asked.
"I was tired of listening to it, and you're my roommate. He was NOT going to come in here and ride you like that. I would hate to have to kick his ass. I have a spare violin bow in the closet that would work great!" Perry said and I cracked up laughing.
"You, coming to my defense, all 135 pounds of you. That's hot!" I said.
"Well, I'd do my best," he said in a matter of fact voice.
"I'm flattered, Perry. I might feel compelled to do the same for you, now that I've seen what you're made of. I'm impressed. Quiet, but lethal," I said in a playful voice, giving a pretend karate chop and back kick. .
"Yeah, I'm a ninja. It's ok for you to call it out. But that whole karate thing you just did was terrible!" and we started to laugh.
"Why haven't we become friends by now? You're always so self-absorbed."
"Self absorbed? I am not! Well, I am a bit, but it's because my mind requires more and more information to consume, data to process. But Josh, most people just live on a planet. It's like you ARE a planet. I don't know how to orbit around you. Sounds silly but that's my take."
"I'm not a planet but I get that I'm a bit self-absorbed as well. I have an "introvert" streak, you know," I said.
"And I'm total introvert," Perry said.
"It's late and classes are over. Let's go "introvert" around campus and do some people watching, maybe get dinner in the food court. " I raised my eyebrows at my brilliant suggestion.
"Alright, let's go!" and we headed out the door.
Our conversation that evening was truly about getting to know one another and I really liked him. The conversation didn't go as usual when meeting college people...my story's better than yours, my story's worse than yours, my dad's was meaner than yours!
"My dick's bigger than yours!" cracked Perry and I almost choked at his unexpected humor. We were both so tired of the "meet and greet" game.
"Not true!" I replied back sarcastically.
"And you'll never know!" he cried in response. We were laughing so hard. It was the most upbeat I had seen him. With Perry, we compared experiences and what we gathered from it. He really was very intelligent but he wasn't arrogant. We talked about our families and friends back home. I told him about Ty. He told me about his activities, playing with orchestras, theater, several big weddings. Between reading and playing, he had been very busy in high school.
"There may be things said, Perry, Ty being my stepbrother and all. I just wanted you to be aware. He and I were, um, well, I don't need to draw you a picture. I hope to keep it under the radar. Justin took the first swing and I now I know to be prepared. You don't have to jump into "Ninja" mode if anyone makes a crack. I will take care of it. ," and we laughed.
"As long as you don't come at me with "I "jewed" him down on the price kind of stuff!" I had to laugh at that. His level of sarcasm was brash. I asked him to tell me about it. He explained that he was of Jewish nationality but he wasn't hung up on marrying a Jewish girl from the neighborhood and all that. He was more interested in exploring his music and reading than he was in faith. I told him I completely understood. We agreed there would be no judgements relating to our lifestyles. From that day on, he and I were best friends. It didn't matter if I met jocks or if he met other artistic guys, they would all have to accept the fact that he and I were friends, despite any differences. And, God, did I need a friend. .
The lunch with Justin's mom went as expected. The place was nice and the food was good. I wore my khakis to look appropriate. Justin was as gorgeous as ever. Too bad he had to be a little shit and I had decided, as per a long conversation with Perry, that I was going to settle Justin's prick thing and perhaps, fix him of the problem.
After we had listened on and on to Mrs. Burke's stories of being a public servant and representing her constituency, and the wonderful things she had accomplished, she gave me a few minutes to talk. They both wanted to know about the attack and the incident leading to my having to leave football.
At the end of the lunch, Mrs. Burke said that she was thrilled to call my mom and tell her what a wonderful lunch we had. I interrupted her.
"Mrs. Burke, you need to be aware of some things before you do that. First, I want to thank you for a really nice lunch. This place is super nice and the sandwich was amazing but you need to be aware of some things about Justin." He looked at me like the devil had taken over his soul. Her eyes widened.
"Justin has a thing about popularity contests and doesn't want people around who usurp his popularity so he said some unkind things about me and my stepbrother to his friends, who I hoped to be friends with, to keep me "low on the totem pole," so to speak."
"Hey Josh, maybe we don't need to get into all this!" whined Justin. "You're going to upset my mother," he said accusingly.
"No, no, it's ok Josh. Please continue," Mrs. Burke said, giving Justin that mother's "How dare you" look.
"I"m not here to throw him under the bus because he has apologized and I believe he understands it was a "highschool" thing to do but I'm here to make ground with good influences that will help me move forward in college and I think Justin should stick to "his friends" until there are signs he can `share the space'. All I'm saying is that you don't need me to get to my mom. If you have something you want to get by her, just get on her calendar. It's a busy one but I think she gives fair time to everyone, especially if they have something that's really interesting. She's not a political player which is why the mayor got her. I hope you understand," I said quietly. Justin was giving me a cautious look. He was unclear if I had been nice or hateful in my little speech. His mom cleared it up for him.
"I am aware, as any good mother should be, that my son, as special as he is," she said with a mocking voice, "has a tendency to scratch then bite. I knew his habits at homeI have been ever-so hoping he will outgrow it and I believe, in fact, I'm sure of it, that your comments today should be the push he needs to get a move on sooner, rather than later!" she said with an increasingly loud voice.
"Calm down, mother," Justin said. "I know I was a jerk. Josh just swooped in and he was all my friends could talk about. He's made peace with them and I'm going to get him to make peace with me." He looked at me and said, "I really am sorry, Josh." His mom nodded to me in approval.
I recounted the story to Perry who agreed I had handed a perfect closing argument.
Perry was coming home with me for the Mountaineer's football game. I was more interested in having him meet my friends than to watch a football game but I told him about the game the previous year, how important it was to me, and showed him footage we found online. I told him about the attack on Ty and what the guy did to me, in response.. I felt the pause that came over me when I remembered that dreadful night and Perry did as well. He put his hand on my shoulder as he sat by me and watched that final play. He didn't know much about football but he knew what had happened when Bryce caught the ball and stepped over the line. He smiled at me. I liked Perry so much. I warned him that giving my full support to the new quarterback was my intention and to see Ty but he would have fun. He texted people from his home in Northern Virginia but he seldom made reference to them. I know he was texting and telling people he was going to an actual football game because I could hear him giggling at the responses.
Prior to the weekend, I had observed that Perry had become very quiet. I was barely getting one word responses and I was worried but when I asked if something was wrong he said no, not to worry about it. I ate dinner one evening alone and the next night, found a table with some classmates who invited me to join. Ok, they were fun and all were giving some shit to the English professor, Dr. Frazier, who had the lisp.
When I got back, Perry was looking at something on his iPad and around 9:30, he turned his bed lamp off, got under the covers, and laid down with his back to me. I felt a little irritated with him and felt something had to be done.
"Perry, I'm tired of this crap. If I've done something I want to know what it is!"
"You're pestering the hell out of me is all you're doing!" he snapped back. He rolled onto his back and thought for a moment. "Sorry Josh, you're not pestering me. Well, you are, but not really."
"Make up your fucking mind," I said, trying to sound humorous.
"I have a thing my family calls "the black dog." It's like a depression but it's not as bad as that nor does it last as long. I feel a little snarky, a little resentful, and sometimes a bit victimized. And to tell the truth, sometimes I like it. I want to be in this mood." He turned to me, "Josh this has to go under our `no-judgment' clause. If I tell you this, please don't..."
"Don't worry about me. I may understand better than you think."
"Winston Churchill had it and he laid brick all over his estate to keep it at bay," he continued.
"I thought a bottle of gin a day did that!" I replied.
"Not sure if that brought it on or ran it off! I work myself out of these dark holes after a couple of days. Violin and my reading do it for me. That series you've been playing on Netflix might help a little.
"Mandalorian?" I asked. "It's awesome dude."
"I need to start it from the beginning," Perry said. "In such time, please don't be offended by me or think it's you. I think my friendship with you has helped me keep it at bay a little longer than usual. I told my mom and she agreed. But it's on right now. I got it and I'm going to push it off. I promise."
"Listen Perry, I go down rabbit holes sometimes. My doctor told me how to use my own abilities and friends and family to get out of the holes and I do that. I totally get it. I've been so mentally challenged here I haven't had time to chase a hole," and I cracked up thinking about the night I spent with Justin Burke. Perry saw right through me.
"Oh I suspect you've chased at least one hole!" and we screamed with laughter. I was laughing so hard and then I noticed he had rolled over again and he became very quiet. I turned my bed lamp off and went over to his bed. I lifted his comforter and crawled in. I put an arm over him and I felt him chuckle.
"What the fuck are you doing, Josh?" he asked.
"I'm spooning you, and to be honest, it feels good to have a body to hug on," I said. And it really did.
"Oh my God" he hissed. "What made you think..."
"Because I want you to know I'm really here for you. I got your back and I'm defending you right now." I felt a long sigh of breath exit his chest through his nose. He turned onto his back.
"Josh, nobody has ever shown me any affection like this. I like it, I think, but I'm not sure how to process it. But, thank you," and he gave me a little pecky kiss on the cheek. It startled me because I didn't anticipate that.
"Wow! If you do that again, I might fuck you, just so you know," I said in a catty voice. He laughed for a minute.
"I don't think we're going to do any fucking!" he barked.
"Well damn!" I said.
"But thank you again. You're a super guy, Josh." He rolled back onto his side and didn't ask me to get the hell away from him. "And Josh, if that's your hardon poking my lower back side, you make sure it doesn't get loose!" and I laughed without making any noise.
This would not be the last time I would show him that affection and it was something that always remained between us. I never wanted anyone to know his weakness or that I had a bedside manner. Feeling love without sex was very new for me and I wanted to talk to Ty about it but there was a problem I was revolving in my head. The fact was I was engaged in so many ways and interacting in new ways was hard to explain to Ty. I found myself missing him terribly, that was for sure. But I couldn't tell him everything without making him feel awkward. I couldn't remember everything to tell him. Our chats seemed to go by so fast. He predicted this when he said he worried more about me outgrowing him than he did about me falling in love. I had nobody to fall in love with on this campus that I was aware of. I still loved my Tyson Breck and I missed him so much, and perhaps, it was time for ME to slip down a rabbit hole.
Ty has just popped out of the bathroom waving a toothbrush. "You were the master and I was but a learner! Now I'm the master!" he says and swirls back into the bathroom. He is such a nut but, in truth, he's feeling himself today. This evening is going to be spectacular!
"I didn't outgrow you!" I tell him.
"You did your freshman year but I caught up to you my freshman year!" he announces in the bathroom, loud enough for everyone in the condo building to hear.
When I get to the office, I will tell you about the Mountaineers football game, being interview by an elite society for membership, and what a fuck Christmas was!