Sorry for the delay in this new chapter. I have to study and stuff, so there. Anyways, this chapter has some slight twists and may lead to something darker, but I am trying to escape cliches and stuff, so do bear with me. Thank you.
A story part 7
Copyright. All rights reserved. If you are under 18, please do not continue reading. +This chapter has implicit sexual content+
=== I was sitting down on the big comfortable chair on Mike's balcony, and our sobs had now slowly dissipated into that of a dry, racking cough. The tears were still shed even though forgiveness was attained, because deep in my heart, I knew that was for the insecurities I felt, and he cried too for the insecurities he felt. It was a mutual counseling session, and we both benefited from it.
Though not my left leg. It was numb.
'Babe... babe...' I eased him off easily to my right leg, when he stopped me. 'Nah, we should go in now. It's kinda late. It's already 6.' He stood up and offered me a hand. I stood up, but then, because I had no feeling in my left leg, almost collapsed if not for the fact that my right hand was grasping the rattan chair. Seeing this, Mike immediately cradled me, and beyond my wildest imagination lifted me off my feet and carried me like a baby would when a mother breast feeds him. Except I was a hell lot bigger.
And a hell lot redder to.
Of course I felt touched, but my testosterone refused to give in without a fight and I blushed and snuggled into his crook of his neck, whispering, 'God. I feel like a little boy now. This is so embarrassing.' He simply looked at me and smiled, 'You're my boy. And what's so embarrassing about your guy carrying you? I think it's romantic.' He put me down on the bed then proceeded to plant kisses all over me, eliciting moans and grunts. After a few minutes, he stopped and I turned and pinned him down, with me on top of him.
'Promise me this won't happen. I'd already promised myself. I love you too much for this to happen. Promise me this babe.' 'I did it long ago. I love you.' I dove in for the kill, making sure that like a caver, my tongue explored every nook, cranny, notch and part of the mouth(cave) that Mike had and to remember it in my mind. He was already dry grinding me, wanting me to release him, to free him from the reins of the clothes that he was wearing. But I wasn't in the mood for pleasure. It was too soon. I just wanted a nice make out/up session with him. I whispered in his ear, 'I love you, I love you...' meaning it, cherishing it, ignoring the mushiness of it. I caressed him lovingly and he kept on looking at me all the time, kissing whatever part of me that was skin, physical.
Suddenly, without notice, as if he meant for it to happen, just as I was about to kiss him a final time, just as my hand was busy massaging his muscles and arms and chest, just as he was busily thrusting his jeans onto my clothes shorts, he whimpered and initiated a kiss. His arms went right on top of me and hugged me even closer as he grinded more furiously and whimpered even more. By the time it was all over, he was panting and looked at me. I looked him back in the eye questioningly.
'God. You have no idea how much you mean to me and how much you do to me.' 'Well, babe, from the wet spot on my pants, I think I know how much.' 'Oh shut up. I need to clean up, just set up the math. Will see ya on the table.' I kissed him once more on his nose and let him go to the toilet, and leaving me with a rather perceptible bulge. But I shrugged it off and started doing math.
He immediately encircled me when he came out of the bathroom and started apologizing. 'Whoa... what the hell are you sorry for?' 'I didn't... I left you like that I-' I hugged him and shushed him. 'I don't need it today. In fact, the makeout session was not as heavy as I wanted it to be. You made it babe.' I winked. He whacked.
[He looked back at his photo album. \1999: Seth's birthday\ He smiled to himself. This was the exact occasion when he found out that he was in love with Seth. He had always rationalized with himself that the birthday party only served to cement the already fluid feelings that he had, and knew that from then on, right down to the point when he outted himself and told Seth, that he would love Seth unconditionally. To him, Seth was perfect. No one could come close. He thought that this was a delusion, but as the years went by, it only hardened the image, making the softened images of a perfect seth more defined and distinct.
'Why are you sitting here by yourself?' 'Don't bother about me. Bother about your party instead.' 'The party can fucking go to hell for all I care. You're my friend and here you are looking like you're crying and I'm gonna sit down here and keep you company.'
That night, he spilled everything to Seth, from his fears, his disappointment of not making it into the first hockey team. Even though that party was disrupted, Seth didn't care and made it look like it was James's party. James's little confessional. He felt cared for. Loved.
That night, when he stayed over, at Seth's room since Seth had asked him to, he wanted to be close to Seth. He was on the floor with the mattress, and he shyly awoke Seth up, wanting to sleep beside him. And Seth complied, and as he came up to the bed, Seth hugged him as a friend would do to a friend in need, but he took it differently, and when he was in his arms, he felt for the first time, right. A fit into his life.
I love you.
He traced his hands along his photographs. And gave a happy smile when his hands stopped to the photo where he and Seth were in the hockey pen, with him holding the stick happily and Seth's arms around his shoulders. He had, with Seth's help and encouragement, managed to make it onto the first team by performing exceedingly well in the second squad. What he did only made him love him even more; despite hating the sport, Seth endured it and went on to give him support, making sure he went for trainings and practicing with him, ending up even with a sprained ankle. He was so worried when Seth sprained his ankle, and even though he blamed himself for it, Seth had shrugged it off.
'Why're you crying?' 'Cuz I caused this.' 'It's not you. It's just me. It's just sport. Not your fault.' 'No it's me and my stupid obsession.' 'Don't EVER say that. You're a great player. I was just helping you and an accident occurred. Now if you don't stop this blaming, then you're not treasuring me.' 'Fine. You're so brill you know. God. I- I-' 'I love you bro. Just stop it. Let me sleep.'
He saw him play with a sprained ankle. He saw him in the stands, waving, smiling. Even when he went up to make his speech for being the mvp of the year, he thanked Seth. Obviously the mentioned blushed, but he knew that this was for him.
'This MVP would not have been possible if not for Seth Sjorn. He supported me through all the shit, and he's my true bro. This one is for you. I did it for you bro, and you sure as hell appreciate it man!'
The last part was to save his skin from being labelled fag(just in case) but he meant every word of it.
Before he slept, he closed the album and did what he always did.
Kiss the photo of Seth smiling broadly at him winning the MVP.]
'Hey. I was thinking if you wanted to go climb the rock wall at the sports hall tomorrow.' 'Hmm... I'm not really sure about that, I just exercised not long ago and my arms hurt man.' 'Oh well, you just tell me when you wanna do it, and then call me yeah?' 'Yeah. Thanks for telling me man! See ya!' I threw the phone on the bed as I continued to do my literature essay. This was frustrating to me; I had only started an hour ago and I still was stuck on a page. This was shitty beyond belief. And the phone calls that came in short intervals didn't help. I decided to hang up the phone, cranked up my player to play bt across, and concentrated.
I was on my third page when suddenly my door burst open and in came the bitch. She acted as if she owned the room and plonked herself noisily on my bed. SHe crossed her arms, tried to look superior, then in a rather derogatory manner asked me an absurd question. 'Did you rub James the wrong way?' 'Eh? What?' With a queenish voice, (if it already wasn't) she turned hysterical. 'My god. Don't act dumb Seth Sjorn. He's been in his room crying his eyes out and you ain't been taking his calls, and when I ask him if it was you, he started crying even more. Now what is this slut?' I was pissed that I was firstly, interrupted, secondly, wrongly accused. 'Listen slut. As you see, I'm trying to do my essay, which explains a need for a lack of interruption and if he's crying, I have absolutely no idea. But since you've told me about it, I'll call him. Fine?'
I know Anna too well. When she was found wrong, she just couldn't muster her voice to say sorry to me. It was funny really, her gesticulating and sulking, but I simply got her to forget it. She smiled, and immediately busied herself with redecorating my room. 'Hey. What's up? What's happening?' 'Why was your... phone ...engaged?' 'I was doing lit. Why?' 'I think... I think... I... I...-' 'What happened?' I panicked. James never was so stuttery unless something major happened. He totally broke down. I immediately rushed down to his house, with Anna the bitch totally spoiling her 5-inch high pradas trying to catch up with me.
I found him still crying on his floor, and he was still in his hockey suit. He looked dirty and sweaty, overall rather pathetic looking. I immediately hugged him and he started crying again. When he stopped, he started to tell me everything, as he always did. 'I... don't know what... what happened. I just... just let slip... that... that I found you... attractive... I didn't say I like you... I didn't- but I think they think I'm gay now... that's I'm a faggot... And they've been sneering and- snickering- and I don't know what to do...'
This was big. If there was something James was worried about, it was his sexuality. Sure, he was open to us, but definitely not his school and hockey mates. He had far too high a jock status to mess it up with. And this was bad. Amazingly, this time, it was Anna the bitch who came to the rescue. Albeit a very bimbotic way.
'It's very simple to bluff these jocks they are. See. I'll be nice to you and be your girlfriend for a week, and then let you and you will let me have all the bragging rights of telling the girls your prowess and ahem, capabilities. Trust me. This will work. I know it.' Then continued looking superior. I just stared at her goggle eyed, but James was so desperate that he had to give this a try. I was skeptical, but let her do it anyways.
It worked. Within two days word had spread around like wildfire that James and Anna were a couple and were at it like rabbits. God, James became an instant celebrity, and his questionable status immediately erased. It was funny though, the stupidity equated into the success of the Anna plan, as we called it.
You had gotta love this superbitch.
The next few weeks passed by quickly, and like a passenger in a train, I watched the events go by with a passive participation in the going ons, although this time I had Mike along with me for the ride. He was very nice and gave in to much of my whims and foibles; amazingly, we hadn't quarrelled since the last time about his jealousy. It was quaint, though this compartment that we had was sealed like a vacuum, so no one could know about our relationship in the first place.
But it was getting harder and harder to keep it from people. The pressure came from both sides and there were too many near slipups that we took. Funnily, both of us were perfectly fine with the status quo; which was to keep this to ourselves, build this little enclave around us. We just wanted the world to leave us alone, and us leaving the world alone too. But we were becoming closer and closer and everyone could see it happening. He was fast joining my clique of friends, and this was good news and bad news.
So much for love.
I was preparing myself for the next school term and Mike was hanging out in my room, channel surfing. Out of the blue, he suddenly asked me, 'Would you like me to cut my hair like Lance Bass's kind?' I was disoriented; try comprehending that when you're halfway through sorting out the geography syllabus. 'Eh?' He simply pouted and came to me and on making sure that the door was locked (my parents didn't know it yet) hugged me and snuggled in. 'I was wondering if I should cut my hair short, to what you like it.'
I unconsciously ran my hands through his now soft, shaggy hairstyle. 'I like it this way babe. Keep it.' 'If you say so then.' Then kissed me on the lips fully for 5 minutes before going back to the TV. By 5, everything was done and as I collapsed on the bed, my mother knocked on the door and after acknowledging Mike's presence, she gave me a letter. I looked at it weirdly; I usually don't get letters.
Mike sat down next to me and opened it for me. What was inside was quite disturbing. \You were meant for me, And I was meant for you.\ Written in bold blue ink and not signed. Before you start rolling your eyes and saying that this is so cliche, wait for the fact that all Mike did was to laugh. And laugh some more. 'This is... hahahaha... so hahahaha fake. It's so obvious.. haha... this is... so hilarious. My god.... this is... so... haha...-' 'Very funny. Your boyfriend here is stuck with a stalker like letter and you laugh. Do let me in on the mirth.' I deadpanned. 'This is so obviously Donen's handwriting.' 'Who is Donen?' 'He's my friend. He thinks you're hot. And he told me that, and I told him that for fun he could like stalk you and stuff.' He was still laughing. 'Very funny hahahaha Mike Wright. So my boyfriend encourages sharing of his property. Fine. Scoff.' I turned away, a little pissed off. He immediately hugged me from behind and snuggled in. 'Aw. Don't be. It's all a matter of fun. And you're not my property. You're my life.' 'Sheesh. You really are mushy aren't you?' I turned back and smirked. 'Nope. Only around you. I love you hon.' 'I love you too, babe.'
{I go through all this, before you wake up. So I can feel happier, to be safe up here with you.}
So Donen was gay and had the hots for me from his soccer team. It really was funny, the way that he had tried to stalk me and sounded so weird. Sounded like Jewel totally, and that to me, was so not original. As I explained to Mike in a queenish, high pitched voice. He simply laughed. The thing was, he didn't even like interact with me in the first place. How the hell was he to know who I was? Let alone try to stalk me? But there was one lesson that he had to learn.
Stalking leaves bad impressions on the person you wish to chase/stalk. Very bad impressions.
Which is why when I started school again, when Donen was pointed out to me, I kinda gasped and received shock waves. Funny, I always get these when I start the term. Someone should station the paramedics in schools for the term beginnings. Some students have weak hearts. Mike had met me in school with the obligatory hot lemon tea and I shrugged and went in. Thankfully, he was in the same class as me in the morning so I simply plonked myself beside him, and went to sleep.
'Wake up.' 'I wanna sleep... Leave me alone.' 'Wake up Seth. Class's starting.' 'Yeah. Wake up Seth.' My eyes opened up to the strange low voice that had suddenly transpired from the left of me. I was greeted with this smiling face who was way too chipper. He had a chiselled looking face and looked, well, rather appealing to my sleep induced brain. I then woke up slowly and sidled up, looking at Mr. Gloucester start up with the literature lesson. Mike looked at me with a smirk, then gave me my first shock of this term. 'Hey Seth, meet Donen, Hart Donen.' I tried not to scream when he introduced me to Donen, who, like all stalkers do, seemed rather enthusiastic in shaking my hand and not giving a hoot about the lesson. This was uncomfortable. I was sitting beside my boyfriend and on the other side a supposed stalker who looked really good and suddenly sat beside me for literature.
'You know something?' 'Yeah?' 'I was always in your class, in fact, both geography and literature, just that you never notice me you know.' I went back to my food after muttering a 'Riiight...' This guy was freaking me way out. Stupid Mike decided to have some fun at my expense and dumped me in the care of Donen, where I was tasked to introducing him to the clique, where Sarah immediately took a huge shine to this piece of stud. Oh boy was I pissed at Mike and the way I was going to ignore him was to not go down to his house and go straight up to my room, where I was greeted with another 'stalker message.'
\I love him. He makes me want to hurt myself. I love him.\ I threw it in the dustbin, laughing at the stupidity of it all. This was hilarious. But no, I had to maintain my prissiness for dear Mike. As if he knew, by 6, he had immediately come over to my house and attacked me while I was taking a little snooze. Before I had reorientated myself, he was straddling me and looked at me sadly. 'I'm sorry hon. I think I went too far.' 'Nah, don't bother. What's the point?' By that time, his looks totally melted my hard heart. (Maybe I simply froze a heart of butter while his smile symbolized heat.) 'Can I hold you?' 'Why not? Come over here. I wanna be with you.' My parents weren't at home; they could only come back by 11, so I had the house to myself and boy was I gonna use it to full extent. And before you guys start thinking that we had hot, wild passionate monkey sex, think again. We only made out and slept and studied. We ARE boring, aren't we?
I met Donen the next morning again, and he seemed way too chipper. However, he said that he wanted to talk to me, so I guessed it was alright, and he dragged me to the chairs by the lawn in our school to talk to me. 'I think Mike kinda told me about me right?' 'Erm, if it's what I think it is, yeah.' 'Well, the thing is, it's all for fun yah... it's just that I... ya know, find you rather attractive and... er...' He was blushing, and from the looks of it, the flattering was raising the heat on my face too. 'Well, I was just wondering... er...' Obviously Mike didn't see the levity of the situation when he egged Donen on for the kill. Pretty much obviously, this poor guy was confused, sexually attracted, and from the look of it, puppyiedly in love with me. It was really sad, from the way I had to reject him. 'I'm really sorry, but I don't think-' 'You don't have to say anything, it's just that I, I-' 'No. Seriously. We can still be friends Don.' He raised an eyebrow though his eyes were already red. 'Don?' I grinned. 'Yeah. Don.'
We pretty much cracked the ice after that, and since that, like all boys do, we pushed our initial awkardness aside and started talking like we knew each other all along. He was really nice, and from the look of it, equally innocent. He told me in a very frank manner why he found me attractive, and my initial hunch was right, though I found it very very weird. 'The way you go around as if you don't give a fuck about anyone, that just turns me on!' ALl I could do was laugh.
I never knew that being aloof got me so many admirers. But the problem was that I didn't even know if I was gay or straight: I just knew how to spot beauty and Mike was simply what I wanted for this time period. I didn't believe that love could last a lifetime, but merely, like economics, there was a short run and a long run. All I cared about was the short run, everything in the long run was subjected to Keynes: we are all dead. And this was all I thought about during Literature, and Mike was giving me this questioning look all the time during class.
Mitch, as usual was bitching, this time about Mr. Gloucester's checked shirt. Donen was busy copying down whatever Mr. Gloucester was talking about, and trying to shake off Anna's constant flirting. If not for the seriousness of the matter I was thinking about, the dysfunctional scene in front of me was very funny. Which was why I was thankful for the bell at the end of the lesson. Mike had to be training, so I decided to wait for him and started to proceed to the favorite part of the school, the garden.
It was a nice quaint little spot with a small pond. It was quite windy, and no one came down here during the afternoon, rather preferring to stay holed up in the library for the air conditioning. I was perhaps mad, but I preferred natural settings. And I expected a quiet two hours with myself. But Josh appeared.
'Hey!' 'Oh. Hey!' 'What brings you here?' 'Oh, I've here to study. You?' 'Me too! Can I join you?' 'Oh, sure...' This was weird, since usually whenever I came here during Thursday, it was always me by myself, and no one else. But he was an overall nice guy, so I started to study with him. He respected my space and privacy, and I respected his. He occasionally asked me questions, and I replied casually. It was a comfortable silence that presided our studies, and I was happy about it. When the time came to go, I simply bade him goodbye and left the area.
'Hope to see you again sometime!' 'Later dude!'
Maybe it's adrenaline of something, but Mike was extremely horny after his training. When we got into his house, his hands were practically over me. I was more than glad to oblige, but my sweat enduring limits were quite narrow. I asked him to bathe, but he was more than happy to just nuzzle into me and grind right into me with his dirty hands and jersey. 'Babe...' 'Yeah?' He panted. 'Can you go bathe? I mean, it's alright for me, but this is just too stinky. Go bathe babe.' He pouted. 'Ok. But be here and WAITING for me.'
I just laughed.