A Tough Lesson Learned

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"A Tough Lesson Learned." The final part: Nine, by Danny D

We did take Jamie to buy what he needed to learn to surf. The next Saturday we took him out for his first lesson. He was eager to learn and great sport.

Ryan had plans to go to the prom and stayed out all night. I asked my dad if Jamie could spend the night. Of course, his response was to tell Jamie that he had to have permission from his parents. "I'm not going to call and ask them," he said to Jamie. "I'll take your word for it. But you can ask my son, trust is hard gained and easily lost."

When Jamie and I were alone, he said to me, "Does your dad always say stuff like that?"

"Yes."

"It's weird because in a way he scares me, but in another way I really think he's great."

"Yeah, I know. It makes it hard to bullshit him and then when you do, you feel really bad. And even then he finds out." I told him about Ryan hiding weed and my dad finding it and throwing it away and leaving Ryan notes. Jamie laughed. I said, "The thing is this. If you fuck up he's no push over. One time, when Ryan was fourteen, he got grounded for six months because he and Jeff got into my dad's booze and got drunk and passed out in Ryan's room. Jeff wasn't allowed here for over a year."

"Damn. Well, I'll ask my parents if I can stay over. I'm sure they will say yes."

They did say it was okay.

I was becoming an expert with my dildo. So was Ryan. At least twice a week, he and I got together and used them.

Every weekend night, when Jamie and I had the house, he and I used the dildo. Jamie and I were able to take it without finger prep. He said he was more than ready to get fucked. I figured that we waited long enough. The conversation came up again about using condoms.

"My dad says I'm supposed to use them."

"But why? I don't get it. I'm not going to get pregnant and we're not spreading any kind of STD."

"I'm more than willing to not use them, but this is one of those rules. But if you want to talk to my dad about it, you can. If he says we don't need to use them, we won't."

He stared at me. "Okay, I guess condoms are fine."

Ryan dressed in a tux for the prom. He looked really handsome. The kind of handsome that makes you say, "Wow." He and several friends hired a limo to pick them and their dates up and bring them home.

Before my dad left for work, he took pictures of Ryan. Jamie showed up. He agreed that Ryan looked hot. Then the limo showed up. "Okay," he said to us, "So, don't spend the whole night fucking."

Closing the door, I smiled at Jamie. "So, after tonight you won't be a virgin."

"You told him?" I looked at him. He said, "Of course you did. You tell him everything." We walked into my room. "I'm kind of nervous, but really excited too."

"Are you hungry?" I said. My dad had a sandwich for dinner, but Ryan and I didn't eat."

"Yeah, I guess," he said.

I smiled at him. "Are you more horny than hungry?"

He smiled and nodded. I got out the condoms and the lube. We undressed and got on my bed. We kissed and touched. We were both rock hard. I handed him a condom. He looked at it. "You want me to fuck you first?"

"You said you didn't want to be a virgin," I said, lubing up my ass.

He opened the packet. "Yeah, but I meant getting fucked."

I laughed. "Okay, well, you'll lose that virginity too after you lose the fucking me virginity. How's that?"

I watched him nervously put on the condom. I lubed up his cock and lay down. He knelt between my legs as I lifted them up. "Just go slow, like when you're putting the dildo in."

He held his dick and I arched my back upward. Bending over me, he said, "God, you have such a beautiful butt hole."

"Nice and tight," I said smiling.

He pressed forward and looked into my eyes. "I'm good," I said.

"Fuck, this feels incredible," he moaned as he pushed in further. "I can't believe how good this feels."

I felt him slowly moving into me. I stroked my cock. When he lay down on top of me, I wrapped my legs and arms around him. "This is the first time I've ever been fucked," I said.

He looked at me. "Really? I wondered, but I didn't want to ask." I nodded. We kissed. He began thrusting. "Fuck, Danny," he moaned into my ear. He kept thrusting.

I bit into his neck. He moaned and thrust. "Oh my God," he groaned.

I liked the feeling of him on top of me. I had worried that having someone thrusting into me might be painful or scary, but I liked his cock deep inside of me. I wanted to jerk off but I knew I'd come quickly. "Fuck me," I moaned.

He began thrusting harder and faster. His breathing was quick and shallow. I bit down on his shoulder. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, I'm coming," he said, pressing hard into me. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He slammed into me several times. Then he collapses on top of me, breathing hard. Every once in a while his body trembled in my arms.

We lay holding each other, gently kissing.

Slowly he pulled out of me. He said, "That went too fast, but once I started I just couldn't stop. I thought I would stop, you know kind of get close and then stop. That's what I was planning, but once I started going,"

I chuckled, "Next time you can get close and stop."

"Yeah, sure. God, it felt so good. Look, I'm still hard."

"Me too," I said.

"Oh yeah, right. You want to fuck me now?"

"You think you're ready?"

"Hell yes," he said, getting a condom and tossing it to me. He grabbed the lube and worked his ass. He lay down. "I guess maybe I shouldn't ask,"

"Yes, I've done this before."

"Okay. So, you'll stop before you come and start again."

I chuckled as I wrapped my erection in a rubber. "You might want me to finish quickly."

He lifted his legs and I knelt on the bed. "No. I really want you to fuck me. God, I think about it all the time." He gets chatty when he's nervous. "I've done the dildo. I like that a lot. No, I want you to take as long as you want."

I smiled and glance down at my cock. "We'll see how it goes. If it hurts let me know. And if you want me to pull out, let me know," I said as I pressed my cock head into him. I had forgotten how incredible it felt to be inside someone. I pressed further into him.

"I'm good," he said. He began stroking his cock. "Go ahead." I watched his face as I pressed further. "Come on," he said, "I'm fine."

A couple of times he winced, but he insisted he was fine. I lay down on him and he wrapped his legs around me. I began thrusting slowly.

He moaned loudly.

"You okay?" I said.

"Oh God yes." His legs tightened around me and he pressed me further into him. "Fuck me," he moaned.

I began thrusting. I bit into the nape of his neck. He bit my shoulder. We kissed. I bit his ear. He bit mine. I grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked his head to one side and then bit into his neck and kept thrusting.

"Oh fuck yeah, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me," he grunted and moaned.

I had thought about stopping but I was on a tear. My body was doing what felt good. My mine was lost in ecstasy. I was breathing hard and thrusting fast and deep. The sounds he was making with each thrust were heightening my excitement. I groaned loudly, gripped his hair and bit into his neck. I dug my toes into the mattress and pressed forward and began coming.

He held me with his arms and legs as my body climax.

I lay on him feeling momentarily spent. He held me tight against him with his legs.

"You okay?" I asked between breaths.

He chuckled. "I'm not sure." We laughed. "I know this," he said.

"What?"

"I liked it a lot." We laughed. "You can do that to me anytime you want."

I looked at him and slowly pulled out. "You're not a virgin anymore."

"We can bet my ass on that," he said.

We went to the kitchen and made sandwiches and then went out into the backyard. Harley followed. When we sat on the concrete back step, he said, "My butt hole feels weird."

"Weird?"

"Yeah. Stretched out and like there's still something up there."

We smiled at each other. We ate our sandwiches and drank colas. He said, "I hope you won't be weirded out when I say this." I looked at him. "I'm kind of in love with you."

"Kind of?" I said smiling. He smiled. "I'm kind of in love with you too. But just kind of."

He laughed. Then he glanced down at his cock. We watched it go from flaccid to erect. "You have that effect of me," he said.

After giving Harley the tail end of our sandwiches, we were back in my room. First we sucked each other and then it was back to fucking. This time we did stop before we came and took turns. Then, wrapped in each other's arms, we fucked to orgasm. At around two in the morning we were at it again. And then we collapsed into each other's arms and passed out.

I woke when Ryan jumped in bed between Jamie and I. "Wake up," he said, separating us and squeezing in. Jamie sat up in bed and stared at Ryan as if he had never seen him before. "It's a little after five. The limo dropped everyone off. Jennifer is going to shower. We are going to shower and then you guys are coming with us to breakfast."

"Forget it," I said. "We just went to sleep."

"Yeah, well, I haven't slept," he said to me.

Then he said to Jamie. "My dad is going to be home in about two hours. You want to be here, naked," he said lifting the sheets and glancing at Jamie's naked body, "wrapped in my brother's arms?"

"AH. Well." He sighed. "Yeah, breakfast sounds good."

They pulled me out of bed. The shower in our bathroom is big enough to comfortably fit two people. It used to be one of those showers that was in a bathtub. But my dad redid the bathroom when we were kids and took out the tub and made a big shower with two showerheads and put in two sinks because we were always arguing about who went first and who made the mess. With three of us in there, it was tight, bumping flesh and little room to bend over. But Jamie seemed to be enjoying it and Ryan just went on and on about the prom and smoking weed and a room that a bunch of them rented and going there to screw. "It was kind of a constant orgy thing."

"So, what are we saying to Jennifer?" I said. "You know, about Jamie being here."

"I told her that Dad suggested you ask a friend to spend the night since no one was going to be home. I told her I was going to wake you guys and bring you. She wanted to come back here with me and wake you guys up, but I told her it would take to long if she was going to shower too."

"Yeah, too long," I said.

So, Jamie and I got into the swing of sucking and fucking and kissing and holding. Things were great. We went to the beach on Saturdays and surfed. He got better. I took the SATs and did better than I thought I would and my end of semester grades were all As.

My dad didn't go for Ryan and I sitting around all summer. Neither of us ever had to go to summer school, but we did every summer. Jamie and I took a college essay writing class at the state college that is specifically for high school students. Ryan went up to UCSD and took his first general education class Ð psychology. That took care of the mornings. Then it was to the beach to surf and then home to study.

Someone outed me, and I say someone even though we were sure it was Jeff. I first heard it from a friend sitting waiting for a wave. He went to my high school and was a year behind me. I saw and talked to him mostly in the water and on the beach. I thought he was very attractive Ð great body and he had a nice package Ð I had seen him several times on the nude beach and shared a joint with him and his friends. He had balls that hung and a cut cock that swung when he walked, much like mine. When we'd see each other at school we'd smile and nodded or talk about how the waves were. He wasn't on any sports team, but I had seen him at the football and basketball games and spotted him at a few of my swim meets. He and his friends were definitely into smoking weed. I had shared a joint or two with him and his friend on the nude beach. He seemed like a really cool guy.

He paddled up to me. "Hey Danny, how's it going?" he asked.

"Good. How about you?"

"Good." We talked about the waves and how crowded it was. "Look, I heard something and well, first I want you to know it's completely cool with me." My stomach churned. He said, "Someone told me that you're into guys, like you're gay. And like I said, it's absolutely cool with me. And I heard that you weren't really out."

Ryan was in the water, but Jamie had taken a break.

I felt my face tingling. I had thought about what I'd say if someone asked. First I thought that I'd just denying it, but then, after talking to Ryan, I decided that doing that made it seem like it was something I was ashamed of. I wasn't. Mostly, I was afraid of being rejected by friends. But I knew that Ryan would never deny it if he was gay and I was sure neither would my dad. So I said, "Yes I'm gay, but I haven't come out, but I guess someone has outed me."

He said, "Yeah, I think someone has. But hey, it's cool. No one gives a shit. I'm bi curious."

I looked at him. "Okay, cool." We sat on our boards beside each other. "What does that mean?" I asked.

"I'm attracted to guys and girls. I love girl's curves and I love pussy. But how can you be out here and not be turned on by the way these guys look, guys like your brother and you." I smiled and started feeling a little better. He said, "I love guys with swimmer bodies. I've messed with plenty of girls, but just had some experience with guys, not much though, just mutual blow jobs, but I'm open to doing a lot more." I nodded feeling turned on. He asked. "Are you hooking up with guys, someone special or what?"

"Someone special," I said. "And he's not out."

"Okay, cool," he said. "Listen, I won't say anything to anyone that we talked, but I think people know, but like I said, everyone is cool with it and if you're ever free and want to hook up, let me know. Like I said, I'm open to anything with the right guy." He smiled.

"Yeah, sure," I said finally relaxing. "Hey, and thanks for the invitation."

He looked away and then glanced at me. "You don't think I'm a jerk for saying that. You know if you're free."

I smiled. "Fuck no. I'm kind of flattered." I smiled. "And kind of turned on." I chuckled. "If I were free, I'd take you up on it for sure."

He smiled and then glanced down at his junk. And there it was pressing up against his board shorts. I smiled and said, "You've given me wood." I turned my board toward him, and pressed my hand against my junk showing him the bulge in my shorts. "Like I said, if I were free."

He and I caught waves, hung out, talked and took a break. Ryan came in with him and me. On the beach, we shared a joint, lay in the sun and then went our separate ways. On the way home, I told Jamie and Ryan what the guy said, leaving out the part about him being open to hooking up and pulling wood.

Jamie seemed upset. "Why didn't you just say it was a lie?"

"It's not a lie. Besides, he said that other people knew. What was I going to do, stand on my board and yell that it's a lie? He said he wouldn't repeat it."

We dropped Jamie off. I said to Ryan, "Do you think I'm fucked at school?"

"No. I wouldn't go around holding hands with Jamie but I don't think any of your friends really cares."

"Do you think it was Jeff?"

"Yeah, I'd bet it was. He waited until he graduated," he said looking at me. "He's such a fucking coward."

After we arrived home, I said, "Are you bi curious?"

"I don't know. I hate all those terms." He seemed to be thinking for a while. "I don't think I could ever fall in love with a guy. I've never made out with a guy. I mean it just doesn't appeal to me. I used to think I'd never let a guy fuck me, but now I might. I mean it's my body and it's an experience, right? I just think I love having sex. All kinds of sex. I guess I'm attracted to guys. I mean there are guys that there would be no way I'd ever have sex with and then there are guys that I think, wow, hot. But I've never met a guy that I'd be into making out with and sleeping with, or holding.

"With women I feel that stuff. I love having sex with women. If I never had sex with a guy again I'd be fine, but if I never had sex with a women again I'd be bummed out. I like all the kissing, holding and cuddling with woman and I sometimes think I could lick a woman's body from head to toe. But I don't think that about men."

"I guess I see. So what would you call that?"

"I have no idea. It's just the way I feel."

"I get that. I like that we can talk about shit like this and not be weird."

He smiled.

"And jerk off together and not be weird," I said.

"And share a dildo," he added.

"Yeah, that too."

"I have a question for you," he said. "What's your deepest favorite sexual fantasy?"

I felt myself blush. "Ah. I think to have like two, three or four really hot guys, my age, having sex. You know like an orgy with everyone sucking and fucking each other."

"What's your favorite thing to do with a guy?" he asked.

I smiled. "I'm going to ask you this too." He smiled and nodded. I thought for a moment. "Damn, I love sucking cock, next I love fucking. Maybe fucking is number one. Then getting head and last would be getting fucked. If I could have it my way, I think I'd suck a guy off and then fuck him. But it would be okay with me if once in a while he sucked me off and fucked me." We looked at each other and chuckled. "Damn, I don't know, because sometimes I love going sixty-nine." We laughed. "What's your favorite fantasy?" I asked.

He smiled. "A really hot girl and a really hot guy who I know and trust and the three of us just going at each other, doing whatever we want for an entire weekend. Watching each other, doing each other."

I smiled. "With a guy, what's your favorite thing to do?"

"Getting head for sure. Definitely getting head. Then I'd say it's giving head. It's weird but I like doing that. And in my three-way fantasy I'd fuck the guy and let him fuck me. Would you ever do a girl again?"

"Maybe. I mean if she was at my orgy and she was really hot, I might. But I never think about doing it with a girl."

"I guess that makes you gay and me," he hesitated. "Confused. Maybe I'm bi when it comes to sex, but straight when it comes to cuddling and falling in love."

I did come out at school. If it bothered anyone, they never told me about it. Everyone knew I was seeing someone. I told Jamie that it was likely that people were going to figure out it was he. He backed away for a while, but then said he didn't care. It was odd when he backed away. I mean my head understood it, but it hurt. We stayed together but it felt different. People did figure it out.

I applied to several colleges. You know how it goes. You apply to the ones you think that there is no way you'd get accepted. Then to those you hope to get into and then those you are sure you'll get into.

Well, I was pretty sure I'd get into UCSD and I did. But I also applied to Stanford. I thought there was a very slim chance I'd get in Ð very slim, but there was no way I could go because of the high tuition. My counselor thought I should apply. It was my, "I'm going to apply to this college but know that there is no way," choice. I also applied for a scholarship. I was sure that was out of the question.

To my surprise, I was accepted to Stanford and I was awarded an academic scholarship, full ride and money for housing if I did work-study. I wasn't sure I wanted to go. Ryan said I should go, that I'd be nuts not to go. My dad said I should go. I felt sick. I wanted to go to UCSD and live at home.

Jamie and I stayed together until he and I graduated. He went to Arizona State. We stayed in touch and saw each other when we were back in San Diego, but that started happening less and less.

I did go to Stanford. I cried when my dad and Ryan left me at college. After two weeks I wanted to go home. I called and told my dad to come and get me. He told me to finish the quarter. I missed Ryan and I missed my dad a lot. But then I met girls and guys. I went to a LGBT college meeting. I went to football games and I made good friends. And I talked to Ryan almost every day.

The year I went away, Ryan rented a three bedroom house with five other guys Ð friends that he had made playing intramural football and basketball at UCSD his freshman year. (I've always envied Ryan's ability to be with a group of people he doesn't know and leave with having made a bunch of new friends.) He also got work-study for extra money.

So, what happened with Harley? My dad thought she'd be miserable home alone all the time, so she went and lived with Ryan. The guys loved her. She loved them. Harley was a great watchdog but she also loved attention and being fused over. But when I'd come down to San Diego for a holiday and go to Ryan's house, they'd have to put her in the backyard before I got there because she'd run in circles and bark and yelp and pee all over. Ryan said he worried that she'd have a heart attack. He said that the guys would talk to her all day telling her "Danny is coming home," and she'd bark and run around the house looking for me.

My second year at Stanford, my dad met a woman and started dating her. Kathleen. She was really nice. I think he worried that Ryan and/or I might resent her. But I was so happy for him. He spent enough time being alone and just being a dad. A year later they were married. Ryan and I were his best men. It was great to see him happy.

That was also a tough year. Harley was getting on in years and Rottweilers seem to have trouble with their back hips. She was almost crippled and could hardly walk anymore. Ryan had to carry her outside so she could do her duty. He waited for me to come down to San Diego. He and I and a couple of his housemates went to the vet. I lay on the floor with her and talked to her , telling her that I loved her as the doctor injected her. She closed her eyes. I held her as she went limp in my arms. I sobbed. I figured I would cry, but the sadness I was feeling burst out of me. Ryan and his friends cried. I cried all day.

We got Harley when my mom got sick. It was her idea to have her trained to be a guard dog. I guess she wanted someone (Harley was always thought of as a member of the family) to be at home protecting Ryan and me. Ryan and my dad always said that Harley was my dog and losing her was almost as hard as losing my mother. I still tear up when I think about her. I've decided when I have my own house and kids, I'm going to get a Rottie. But I know there will never be another Harley.

Ryan graduated UCSD and was accept into a medical research program at UCSF. He's getting an MD and a PHD. He wants to do cancer research.

I'm graduating in June. I find out soon if/where I've been accepted to medical school. Wish me luck.

Oh yeah. I have a boyfriend. We've been together for a little over two years now. We're hoping that we'll be in the same city next year. He's going to graduate school and has applied in all the cities that I've applied to medical school.

Oh yeah, again. I had my orgy fantasy come true. I was surprised at how easy it was to get six guys together and have fun. That's where I met my boyfriend, Jordan. He was all over me the entire night and then asked me out. (You now how it is. He saw a really hot, smart, fun loving guy that he just couldn't get enough of. LMFAO). That night was the last time he or I shared ourselves with other guys.

And Ryan had his threesome fantasy come true. He told one of his housemates about his fantasy. One day the guy came to Ryan and said that he had been with a girl who thought Ryan was really hot and thought a weekend of three-way sex would be fun. So, Ryan went for it. My brother lost his virginity with a guy. He told me all about it and said that he was glad he did it (got fucked) but wasn't sure he'd volunteer to do it again. He said he really enjoyed fucking the guy and wasn't sure why he was previously so turned off by it. He said they fucked each other numerous times and that the girl thought it was really hot.

I asked him if it was weird between him and his housemate after that weekend. He said, "Weird? Why would it be weird? Actually, he's like one of my best friends. I mean it's not like I'm going to just let anyone stick their dick up my ass."

I know the guy and he's really cool and I'd let him stick his dick up my ass, too.

Ryan now has a wonderful girlfriend. I like her a lot.

So, this is the end. What was the tough lesson? It went back to what my mother said to me before she passed away. Be honest with myself, my father and my brother. But beyond that, it was about trust, learning whom I could trust and about being trustworthy. As my dad said, "it's hard earned and easily lost". I want to be the kind of man my father is and be as trustworthy as my brother. Neither of them ever let me down.

Well, again, thank you for reading my story.

Oh, yeah, again again, my boyfriend Jordan (yes another J-name) told me stories about him growing up and about something that happed with him when he was a freshman. He wants me to write about it. He's read this story as I wrote it. He and Ryan have been having a bromance. They love each other. Jordan especially loves hearing stories about me from Ryan and my dad.

I told Jordan that I might write about what happened to him if he'd let me have fun with it. You know, use his story as the factual foundation for a fictional story. He said I could, if and only if I don't make him out to be a jerk. LOL. I told him that I'd do it if I could include the orgy where he and I first got together. And I'd be writing it from his point of view and what I think he'd be thinking. LMFAO. He laughed and said okay, but he wants to write the parts where he meets me for the first time and how he felt the orgy. I told him I'd think about it.

If I do write it, it will be in college (I guess that makes sense). I think I'll call it "Losing my virginity and then my heart", If you'd like, I'll email you and let you know when I post the first part. It might be a while. Finals and spring break.

Dannyd