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Chapter 7
I walked out of Bryan's building and felt a slight breeze. Memories of our relationship kept popping in my mind as I walked back to my dorm building. Like when he first asked me out.
"Hey Ken" I heard as I put my books in my locker. I turned and there stood Bryan Thomson.
"Hey" I smiled back.
"Want to catch a movie tonight?" He asked
"Sure! Who all is going?" I asked as I got stuff for my next class.
"Actually, I was thinking it could just be us" Bryan replied. I could tell he was nervous.
I shouldn't be surprised that he was asking me out. Bryan and I have known each other all through school. We've always been in the same group of friends. But when I came out in the summer, our conversations became flirtatious. I guess I thought he was always just messing around.
"Oh okay. Yeah I'd like that!" I said smiling back at him. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. I can't believe someone like Bryan was interested in me.
"Awesome! I'll pick you up at 7" he replied and walked away.
Then I remembered our first big fight a little over a month into our relationship.
Bryan and I went shopping at the mall. We were in J Crew when I went off to the restroom. I walked back in and Bryan was paying. He was leaning against the counter and had this mischievous grin on his face. Then I noticed the cashier. The male cashier. The cute male cashier. It was obvious Bryan and him were flirting. I walked over to them trying to hide my frustration.
"Hey! Ready?" Bryan asked turning towards me.
"Yeah I'm ready to go home." I said intertwining our fingers and reaching up to kiss him.
Bryan and I walked out of the store. I looked back and glared at the cashier. I was quiet until we got in the car.
"So did you have fun?" I asked as we buckled up.
"I always have fun with you."
"I meant hitting on that slutty cashier." I replied
"I'm just a flirty person. There was nothing meant by it"
"Sure." I kept staring out the passenger window.
"I'm not going to apologize for talking to the guy. He started talking to me. I was killing time waiting on you." Bryan replied. He was getting angry now.
"Whatever" is all I say.
"At least he was nice to talk to." Bryan huffed
"What does that mean?!" I snapped.
"It means your being a little bitch right now. You're so insecure and want to control me."
"Weeeeellllll sooooorrrryyyy that I don't like my boyfriend flirting with other guys."
We sat in silence until Bryan pulled into my driveway. I grabbed my bags, slammed the door and rushed inside.
Okay so looking back, we were both in the wrong during that fight. My mind then took me to the end of senior prom.
Prom had been so much fun so far! Bryan looks super hot in his tux. We were having fun with our friends. Overall it was an amazing night.
Bryan is not huge on dancing but he stayed on the floor all night because he knows I love dancing. The DJ announced one more slow song before the night was over. All night, Bryan and I used slow dances as breaks to get a drink or hit the bathroom or, once, to makeout outside. This time as I turned to leave, Bryan grabbed my hand.
"Can I have this dance?" He smiled. I nodded yes.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and his around my waist. You and Me by Lifehouse was playing. We swayed to the beat. We kept looking into each other's eyes. I'm that moment, I could feel how much Bryan loved me. There was nothing but us in that moment. It sounds cheesy and lame but this is one of the best nights of my life.
I couldn't help but smile at that memory. Then I couldn't go down our memory road without thinking of the breakup.
I met Bryan outside our favorite coffee shop in town. He ordered, took our drinks and sat outside.
"Ken, I need to talk to you." Bryan started.
"What's up?" I asked. Taking a drink.
It's the end of May. We have been high school graduates for about 5 days.
"I got into UCLA and they're giving me a scholarship."
"Bry, that's awesome!" I exclaimed. "Congrats!"
"Thanks. I've known for a couple days. I've been thinking of what I should do."
"Bryan, you have to accept. It would be stupid to turn down a scholarship." I reply.
"I'm not talking about the scholarship." Bryan says taking a deep breath. "I've been racking my brain about what to do with us."
"Oh." I say, I can feel the excitement leave me. "Well, we can text and call. FaceTime even! Plus UCLA is only a few hours from Claybourne so we can see other on weekends. We can make it work."
"We say that now but long distance doesn't last. Soon we'll get busy and those weekends of seeing each other will get fewer and fewer."
"It wouldn't hurt to try." I say, trying to remain hopeful.
"Actually, it might." Bryan reached across the table to grab my hand. "I love you Ken. I don't want to hurt you. But I think we've run our course. It's easier this way. We're done, Kendall"
"If you love me, then why are you doing this?" I ask. I stand up and head to my car. The tears start flowing as I drive away.
When I reach my building, I don't go to my room. I needed to talk to somebody about all of this. Being with Bryan was nice and familiar but I'm afraid that he will hurt me again. Then there is Greyson. I will admit it, I'm attracted to him and if he played for my team then he would give Bryan a run for his money. But as far as I know, Greyson is straight so there is no use getting hung up on him. Although if you asked Blair and the rest of them, he's into me.
I knocked on Blair's door.
"Kendall, whats up?" she asked.
"Can I talk to you?" I asked. Blair stepped to the side and I walked in.
"So whats up?"
"I talked to Bryan today." I sighed
"Oh, Kendall, you didn't" Blair responded.
"I think I made everything worse. So I went over there to talk to Bryan because he wouldn't leave me alone. We got to talking and about how we miss each other then he asked where that left us. I said I'd think about it and then he kissed me and said I should think about that."
"Do you want to get back together with him?" she asked
"Part of me does, Blair. When we were talking earlier, everything felt so natural and familiar. But he's hurt me before too and I'm afraid he'll do it again. Also, I'm not entirely sure if he only wants to get back together because he's lonely."
"Sounds like you have a lot to think about." Blair responded. "And what about Greyson?"
I rolled my eyes.
"Don't start with that again."
"So if Greyson came up to you and said 'Kendall I really like you. Please go on a date with me.' that you wouldn't be the least bit interested?"
"Ok, I would love for that to happen but I'm being realistic. That's not going to happen."
Blair dropped the subject. We sat in silence for a little bit.
"What you really need to look at Kendall if you think putting yourself out there with Bryan, knowing he could break your heart again, is worth the time you're going put into the relationship and your emotions. If he breaks up with you again in let's say 5 months, will all the time and feelings you've given him be worth the hurt that you're going to feel." Blair said breaking the silence "Or when he does end it, will you feel stupid for putting yourself through that again."
Blair gave really good advice. It really got me thinking, am I just asking to be hurt again? And if I do get hurt, will it have been worth it? I told Blair goodnight and went to bed.
(This part of the chapter doesn't include Kendall and will be written in a 3rd person POV).
Blair Killian woke up on Wednesday with a mission. Find Greyson James, see if he's interested in Kendall and tell Greyson that he could lose Kendall if he didn't act quick. She didn't have class on Wednesdays so Blair could hang out in the cafeteria and wait for Greyson.
Blair got to the cafeteria around 11 and she only had to wait about 15 minutes before she saw Greyson walk in. He got his food and sat down at a table by himself.
She took a deep breath and made her way over to him and sat in the chair across from him.
Greyson looked up at this random girl who sat across the table from him.
"Do I know you?" he asked.
"You're Greyson James, correct?" Blair responded
"Yeah. And who are you?"
"My name is Blair Killian. We have a mutual friend in Kendall Winters."
"Yeah I know Kendall" Greyson said with a smile.
"So at the risk of embarrassing myself. Do you like Kendall?"
"Kendall is a pretty cool guy." Greyson responded.
"I've seen you two sitting together and my observations it seems like you're into him, you know, romantically." Blair said. Greyson just stared at her. "I mean I don't blame you. He's cute and a great personality. I'd go after him if he played for my team. Do you two play for the same team?"
Greyson couldn't respond. He was dumbfounded.
"Whatever, you don't have to answer." Blair responded. "But if you are, you should know your time is running out to make a move. Kendall's ex is here and has got Kendall thinking of taking him back. So if you're the least bit interested, take my advice and make it known to Kendall."
Greyson looked down at his food and twirled his fork in his mashed potatoes. Blair had run out of things to say. She did what she set out to do.
"Think about what I said, Greyson" Blair said standing up "Enjoy your lunch."
Then she strutted off leaving Greyson with an empty stomach but a buzzing mind.