Admire Me

Admire Me II Part 4

Admire Me 2

Chapter 4. This Means War

 Korbyn grabbed the string of the balloon Andrea gave him. He wasted no time to open the envelope tied to the end of the white designed balloon's string. Andrea stood over his shoulder, like Jade and I wasn't there.

Inside the envelope a necklace fell out. Korbyn was ecstatic to receive this piece of jewelry. His entire mood was shifted. He was enjoying the gift. I could see it in his eyes and in his smile.

"Thanks, I really like it." Korbyn exclaimed to Andrea. When his thanks was given, that was all Andrea needed.

How is this happening? Someone flirting with my boyfriend right in front of me... NO! This is unreal. I thought Missy told Andrea to back off?

Who was I kidding. I should have known Missy had other plans. She would make sure her girls got what they wanted. It was a direct quote from her mouth.

I hope she is going to have Andrea's back when I wreck her life. Because I clearly said: `No' about this Korbyn thing. I stand by that answer all the way.

I have a feeling Missy told Andrea, to wait until Valentine's Day so she could try to win Korbyn over with affection and gifts. It seemed to be working too. This had to be an alpha's plan. This had to be Missy's work.

When Korbyn read the note and she gave him a flirty small talk, "I'll see you later Korbi," she pranced off eating my cupcake. I wanted that... Well, I do want it now since she was eating it. That has to be a sign, and not a good sign either.

When Andrea was at her table, I had to regroup my thoughts. Korbyn was fiddling with the necklace he got, staring at it with enormous eyes. "Korbyn, get rid of her gifts this instant." I could feel lighting striking inside of me, every second he admired her stupid cheap balloon and necklace.

"What was that `Korbi' crap about?" Jade disgustedly questioned, "Missy did that. I can tell." he concluded taking the words out of my mouth. "This has her stench all over it."

No one was going to disobey my orders. When I told Missy `no Korbyn', I meant it. This is not a game. My boyfriend is not up for negotiation. Andrea doesn't know what `No' means. I think I'm going to have to show her what no looks like.

I was talking to Jade when I noticed Korbyn was still fixated on his new gifts, "Throw her gifts away, Korbyn!" I couldn't hold back the force. It shot out. "NOW!" how could he still be playing with those trashy gifts? I'm all he needs. I gave him shades. What does he need with a necklace?

"I'll think about it." He mumbled, staring at the thin necklace thinking about something.

"Think about it? I am your alpha. I gave you a command," I hissed with venom. "This isn't something you get to think about, follow IT!"

Korbyn rubbed his eyes like he was bored, "Well she at the cupcakes without any complaints of poison. She seems to appreciate me, and doesn't talk down to me."

"Appreciate??" Jade and I both said at the same time. How could he? This is a betrayal unlike any.

My mind had blocked everything off. My temper was shooting up. I was getting upset about this whole thing. Andrea walks over here, eats my cupcake, gives my boyfriend a gift, then he has the nerve to disobey my orders? Now he's defending her?

Missy must have been watching our reactions. I could hear the girl plastics laughing and slapping high-fives. At this point I just didn't want to be here.

Jade was getting on to Korbyn about defending Andrea. It felt nice that someone understood how I felt about this whole ordeal.

I know I'm not the perfect boyfriend but Korbyn took up for her. He took up for her! What kind of crap was that? I'm hurt by this. I feel like I'm falling from a ten story building.

A strong uncomfortable feeling waved over me. I put my head down on the lunch table because I didn't know what else to do. I was breaking down on the inside, and I didn't want anyone to know it. There was a soreness breaking through.

Minutes after, I gave in to the soreness. It conquered my heart so fast. I felt my limbs aching. The distress was clouding my thinking, sucking me in and spitting out my remains.

I lifted my head from the table to look around the cafeteria. I was hoping nobody knew anything was wrong. Right in front of me, Korbyn and Jade were still in a heated argument. It looked like the clique was falling apart. Everything I worked to establish in this clique was coming apart. All because of a new girl with a crush, and her stupid gifts.

I can't do this... I can't let this happen...

I can't believe, today of all days.

Not today.

Not on Valentine's day.

Missy was doing exactly what she wanted. Planting the seed of division between us. If Korbyn disobeys me, he will be under his own free will. If he is under his own will, then Andrea will swim in to take him.

I had no idea he would have this nature in him. Yes, he did a lot of things last semester, but this is crazy. All the kisses felt like nothing now. All the things Korbyn did for me... felt like they didn't have an existence.

"... You were wrong for that Korbyn! Braylon shouldn't have to tell you to get rid of the gifts. You as a man, should have done away with the gifts. Instead, you turn into a little punk, and somehow defend a z-list smut?" Jade eyes squinted as he rambled in my defense.

"You're the punk!" Korbyn aimed back at Jade. His face steamed with anger. "By the way, if you didn't notice, Braylon wasn't going to eat the cupcake anyway. So there is no point in getting mad. All she did was give me a gift." There he was defending that tramp again. "So, shut up! None of this has anything to do with you."

"If it has anything to do with Braylon it is my business," Jade face went into fire, "and you know Andrea likes you, so those are more than gifts. I've never seen a more irresponsible, idiot child in my life."

"Braylon's love life, is separated from this clique, which means it has nothing to do with you!" Korbyn began pointing his finger in Jade's face. "You should worry about C.J. instead of Braylon."

Jade slapped Krobyn's finger down out of his face making it hit the table, "No! You listen to me! It takes a mentally injured jerk, to do what you just did, and don't tell me what I need to worry about."

Korbyn's body posture changed. It was more aggressive, "Don't touch me!" He rose out of his seat with a growl.

"Don't put your finger in my face then!" Jade stood up sharply.

"Hey!" I squeaked. I didn't know my voice was out of order too. I swallowed trying to get my regular voice back. "You guys stop for a second." I quietly told them feeling wooziness.

Suddenly they both stopped their rants. They stood there staring at each other like two uncaged pit bulls. Soon, they both eased back down into their seats, watching each other the whole way down. Making sure neither made a false move.

"Korbyn," I looked at him, lowering my tone. Trying a different, kinder advance. My body didn't want to face him, my eyes were even afraid to look at him, "Can you get rid of the gifts?"

There was a sigh he gave. Then he rubbed the necklace between his fingers, and looked at the balloon, "I don't want to." was his calm statement. Jade began to say something but Korbyn interrupted. "...because, I like the gifts she gave, but it doesn't mean I like her."

"How do we know that?" Jade countered with fierceness.

"You know what, I don't care who believes me anymore." Korbyn strongly added. "Nobody trusts me anyway. So it doesn't matter to me what you guys think."

 "Hey! I've been good to you." I confessed putting a hand over my chest. What he said was hurting me. "Don't sit here throwing shade at me about trust, because I don't like it." I could feel myself on the verge of snapping. It wouldn't be long before I did something vindictive.

The immense pain was causing so many triggers to pull inside of me. Korbyn was about to say something else but I didn't let him. "You want to throw shade? Well guess what, I have a few things I want to say," there it was, rising from the inner alpha. The pain had turned into a weapon. It was too late. The alpha sprung forth in my time of hurt. For some reason it wasn't going to let my exterior collapse even though my insides already did.

"You are a mindless, metal mouth, loser of a boyfriend. The best word I can say that sums it up is LAME! You don't listen to my needs or my wants. Most importantly, you are a freaking whiny little punk." I was fueled with a fire. "All you do is cry when I give a command. Suck it up, and grow up! If I don't trust you or anybody else... So what? Get over it Korbyn! Stop being a B-list softy."

Korbyn stared at me like something struck him so hard he could barely breathe. It looked like for a minute I could see straight through him. His green eyes were out of order. "I-Is that how your truly feel about me? Huh?" He asked, "Really? I'm all of that?"

I sat with my nose in the air. Almost regretting what I said, but when I looked at the gifts and remembered him wanting to keep them against my will it upset me.

"Yes," I said with no remorse.

"Okay. Fine." He shook his head, "I'm keeping the gifts." He turned away from me in his seat.

"Good keep them!" I shouted with acid. It was hurting me to hear him say that. He knew it.

I was so sick, of this whole Valentines gift crap. Andrea is a tramp for this. Missy is an even bigger one for putting her up to it. This Tramp disrespected me on so many levels. She ate my cupcake, and gave my boyfriend a gift right in front of me.

I can't let this happen. They will think I am a push over.

When have I ever been a push over?

Not thinking, I yanked the balloon's string, and snatched the card off of the table.

Korbyn reached, after seeing what happened, "Give me that..."

I ignored him, then handed the balloon to Jade as I dodged Korbyn's grip. Looking at Jades pretty light smooth skin, I said, "Give them a warning."

Without a moment of waiting, Jade was walking away with the balloon.

"Hey, Where is he-" Korbyn was saying as Jade strutted over to the girl plastic's lunch table.

I sneered at Korbyn, ignoring the hurt within myself. What I was sending Jade to do was making everything better. If Korbyn gets angry then that will be too bad. He needs to see how I feel. He needs to learn his place. Whatever happens later I will deal with it.

Looking at the envelope in my hands I twirled it in my fingers. We were both standing up at the table now. He watched with careful green eyes as I held the envelope.

"Just give it back dude." He wanted to come off nice but it wasn't there.

"Remember I told you to get rid of this?" I held the envelope up to him. I didn't care who saw. This needed to be handled professionally. "This...Is..." I snarled tearing the envelope into many shreds, letting the white pieces of paper fall. "garbage...when...I say get rid of something... you do it."

I sprinkled the tiny pieces of paper over his food on his lunch tray.

Korbyn gave the most dangerous, killer look I have ever seen him give. It was so deadly that I had never seen this look even when we were enemies.

"YOU BITC-"

He was cut off by a "POW!" echoing throughout the whole cafeteria.

The loud sound caught my focus and hindered Korbyn from calling me a name I already knew I was. Everyone in the cafeteria jerked at the sound. Wondering, and asking each other in mumbles, "What was that?"

It was like hearing a gun shot.

Over by the plastics table I saw Hannah covering her ears. Sarah was holding her neck, like she swallowed her gum, when the loud noise sounded. Missy leaned over holding on to that skank Andrea.

Everyone wasn't looking at the girls. They were looking at Jade. Who was stand at their table holding only a string. He popped the balloon. It was a great move. He really got their attention with that.

"That was from Braylon." Jade said to them. "Message to Missy: Play in your own territory." He told her before marching away.

He always knew how I wanted things handled whether I told him or not.

"What? Why did you... Ugh! Braylon!" Korbyn was standing in my face, he was so mad. "I'm so sick of you... Don't say anything else to me." he hurried off running out of the cafeteria.

"Bye, Korbyn." I teased, "You forgot to thank me." It pained me to say these things but I was left with no choice. Plus I had to retain my image in front of the crowd as alpha.

Jade sat down. I knew from the look on his face and by what was going on in both of our lives, the remainder of this semester was about to get worse.

Once everything calmed down something was unsettled in the atmosphere. Yes everything was calm, but I could feel something headed for me. I don't know If it was Korbyn, or...

Heels were clicking my way.

Danger!

Hovering my table with her girls, "Braylon! The social treaty is over!" Missy shouted, and everyone could hear it. "You're done!"

"I think the treaty was bound to break at some point." I spoke as a fearless leader. I couldn't show any signs of distraught even when one of my members walked out on me. "Missy, I think it's about time I show you who's the alpha that is wearing the social crown." I gave a smirk that seemed unbothered. I could show no weakness especially not right now.

Missy puffed putting her hand up, throwing off what I said. The she stormed out of the cafeteria with her army of skanks.

Oh god. This is really bad. Right after Korbyn leaves, I get an invitation to war. A war that was going to be long, and very brutal. This is going to get ugly fast. In seventh grade we turned the school inside out. Now that we are seniors, fighting for the crown, who knows if there will be a school.

This was a battle I had to win. I had to graduate with everyone knowing I was the king, and there will be none other like me when I am gone.

 Jade text me during my classes to keep me from feeling bad about what happened at lunch. It was strange I found myself texting him in return to support his hurt from C.J. Korbyn brought it up, and he went too far with that remark.

Jade and I had to feed off of each other's support. Between the new war that was coming and our spoiled relationships, our feelings had been shredded into pieces. It wasn't like we had anyone else to talk to.

The social treaty was over. Anytime, any day, any second, Missy could plot an attack on me. Jade knew what happened in seventh grade. Missy and her beta Sarah were sending out multiple attacks on my clique. Things got so bad, Ryan and Keylan started to back away. Jade was the only person who was giving ideas, and helping me go through with my plans.

Jade was in a thin line of panic about Missy's plans. He would stop randomly and ask `what do I think she was planning?' or `When do I think she will attack?'

I soothed him, even though I know Missy will do something to get me back. Jade and I spent time texting about what are some possible things Missy could do to us, and things we could to do to counter attack.

 In my sixth period class, the teacher stopped teaching. It was to allow the student council members to go around the school and deliver Valentine's gifts to other students. It was a transaction set up by our school, and it was done every year. It gave people who had a crush on someone, a chance to mysteriously have their romantic gift delivered to that someone they were afraid to approach.

It worked like this: Students would give their gifts to the student council early in the morning so they can hold the gift for them. It keeps other jealous people from stealing, or tampering with someone's gifts.  It helps someone pull off a surprise or even a secret admirer stay in the shadows.

I thought the idea was neat, and romantic. The surprise and suspense it gives to the person who receives the gift is unimaginable.

I was sitting there in class watching the Valentine's transaction happen. The student council members were bringing people cards, boxes of chocolates, balloons, big Hershey kisses, and bouquets of flowers. Red, pink, and white wrappings, covering cups filled with M&M's, hearts, and suckers. All these gifts from someone who cared for them, all of those gifts from someone who probably admired them from afar.

One girl in my class, boyfriend sent her a card with a lollipop shaped like a heart. It said: `I love you'. There was a basket of assorted chocolates, and gum. Everything was pretty about it. Seeing her gift made me feel sadder.

I wish my day would have gone something like that.

"Here you go!" One of the student council girls said. She put a furry white bear on my desk. The bear had a red strip of ribbon tied around its neck.

My look of confusion increased when she sat a small clear vase next to the bear. It was filled with water, and had a blossomed red rose leaning out of it. Just like the one I found on my porch.

"Who is this from?" I asked her.

She shook her head, "I don't know. Whoever sent it didn't leave a name. They just signed the slip of paper telling us who to give it to." She smiled tying a mini red balloon around the bears' furry arm. That's when she was me giving another weird look, "Oh... the person left instructions on how to deliver the gift." She explained to me.

It was something bothering me. I wanted to know who it was. When did they leave this for me? "Can you tell me who it was, who left it?"

"No I can't do that." She said like she wanted to tell me but knew it went against the student council's tradition. "If they would have left a name, I would be able to say more."

"What did the person look like?"

She walked away shrugging her shoulders, "I don't know." Then she handed out other gifts to people before leaving.

The bear had the same delicate brown eyes as I did. My stomach was unsettled. An easy feeling of contentment rose, and quickly fell back down.

My eyes moved over the small bear's white fur. All the way to the tip of its black nose. I noticed there was a small pouch stitched on the bear's stomach. Something I didn't see before.

Inside the pouch held an envelope, containing a Valentine's card.

From: Me

To: Braylon Winters

I looked at the lovely rose again resting in its water. I knew then it had to be Korbyn who delivered this to me. I glanced at the small red balloon tied to the bear's arm. The balloon said: `Admiring you!'

A flash of Andrea's balloon came. Then I heard a loud `pop' in my head from Jade popping the balloon. I had to shake it away. I did feel bad that Korbyn left me these gifts, and we weren't on good terms.

The rose he left on my porch began to shrivel. The petals were black at the tips. I did take it to all of my classes in memory of his kindness, but ever since lunch, I shut it in my locker. Leaving it in the dark to die. In so many ways that dying rose reminded me of our relationship.

I opened the valentine's card. I sadly started reading it, thinking, `what else did I have to lose?'

Happy Valentines Day,

Know in your mind that someone is always thinking about you and most of all, Know in your heart that someone cherishes you.

I wish you the best Valentine's day today and let the next year be better than today.

I tried to ignore the growing heartache. I was trying hard to quiet it down. I could feel it coming anyway. The card was beautiful. The more I thought about its message, the more I didn't want things to go this way.

I flipped the card open and there was a hand written message there:

Hey sexy,

I hope you like the gifts. I know the rose I left on your porch is probably shriveling by now. So I had I had them to hold this rose for you. A chance to keep a romance alive. I've been irritated by a lot of things lately, but thinking about you cleared my conscious no matter what I went through. I can't explain my feelings, I can't write them either. I don't even know what I'm feeling. The only way I know how to say it is, "I think I'm falling for you."

My fingers felt something rattle in the bear's pouch. I gripped it and saw a honeywheat granola bar. The message was written before all of the catastrophe happened at lunch. I know if Korbyn could take his gifts back he would.

`Falling for me'?... Yeah right.

I left my new gifts in my locker to share the gloom of my feelings with the dying rose. What's the point in having gifts that didn't mean the same as they did when they were sent to you?

In my last class of the day. I had to sit by Korbyn. He didn't attempt any conversations with me. It hurt me to see him toying with the necklace Andrea gave him.

I couldn't stop looking at his face. He was still the adorable model I had feelings for. That couldn't be ignored, but he ignored me through the entire class. Instead of talking to me he would toy with the chain Andrea gave him. I can't lie, it was a painful sight. It stung so deep.

`I cleared his conscious'? I was sooo special that he gave me a bear?

Whatever!

I think he felt so bad about the cupcake idea that he snuck a granola bar in the bear's pouch. Only problem with that is: it was too late.

I would have had the best Valentine's Day ever, if things would have taken a different course. If Missy would have stayed on her own rotten turf.

Jade's mom drove us home. The back seat was full of sadness from both Jade and I. Korbyn drove off campus without caring to give us a ride. This whole situation had blown up to be way worse.

When I got home, Jason and my mom were making a shopping list for a party.

Jason decided to throw a Valentine's day party. My mom was okay with this. They both didn't want a huge crowd of party people to turn our house into a mess, so they were having the party in our back yard.

They wanted me to help out with it. Jason was asking for my thoughts and ideas, but I could only help to an extent. I had other things to deal with. I was still juggling clique/relationship problems.

I soon went to my room, dismissing myself. The party was too much. I had a lot to think about of my own. 

I set the vase of water containing the red rose on my dresser. I tied the balloon from my bear at the foot post of my bed. Then I curled in my bed. Not caring to shower or eat or anything. I laid on my bed holding the soft white fur of my bear close to my chest, breathing in its weird but captivating smell. Still familiar like the early morning rose but unfamiliar.

I ate my granola bar as I lay there replaying my Valentine's day. So much happened and yet, so much emotions were missing.

"I'll be your girl

Backstage at your show

Velvet ropes and guitars

Yeah, cause your my rockstar

Inbetween the sets

Eyeliner and cigarettes.    

Shadow is burnt

Yellow dance in return

My lashes are dry

Purple tear drops I cry, it don't have a price

Loving you is cherry pie

Cause you know that baby I..."

I woke up hearing Lady Gaga's music playing in my ear. When I looked around, I realized I had fallen asleep, with a half eaten granola bar, and my teddy bear, and my phone was ringing.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Jade answered sadly.

Jade was telling me something, when out of nowhere he clicked over suddenly. When he returned to the line, he told me to `hold on, because someone wants to talk to me on three way.'

In a lost sense of panic, I didn't know who would call Jade to talk to me?

"Hello?" The voice said.

It was Korbyn. I suppose he was too mad to call my phone. After Jade established all three of us were on the phone, Korbyn began to speak through the phone. His voice was the best and worst thing I have ever heard.

"Braylon." He said making sure I was there.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"I have a few things I want to get off my chest. But I ask that you hear me out before interrupting." Krobyn promted

The phone line fell into an empty silence. While Korbyn gathered his thoughts, and Jade and I waited to hear him out. I was a nervous, picky mess... I didn't know how to feel or what he might say.

"Today was crazy. The way everything happened was too, too dramatic. Today you let me know I was a `loser boyfriend'. I was a `B-list softy' and a `whiney little punk.'" Korbyn was in a clam but irritated mood. "I sat around the rest of the day thinking about how I could improve myself as your boyfriend. When I came to the conclusion, I don't know what to do to improve. I don't know what you want from me."

Krobyn went on for a long time explaining how he didn't like feminine guys before meeting me. He brought up a surprising issue. Mentioning that he normally didn't date outside of his race! It was something he didn't expect to happen at all.

After revealing two major facts he paused for a minute. I knew he was sorry for what occurred earlier. He was fumbling around for the right way to apologize to me. Despite my color, or my actions, he still wanted to be with me.

He better apologize for what he did. This was his fault.

I squeezed the white bear he bought me closer and closer to myself, while holding the phone. Waiting for us to kiss and make up. My hurt would soon be gone. All I need to hear was his upcoming apology. Something I knew I was going to get. Something I deserved. Korbyn had no reason to keep Andrea's gifts, and disrespect my authority. I'm glad he can see I was right all along.

A smile started to widen on my face. I knew an apology was next to come. We can get back on track after this.

"I want to share with you what I told myself." Korbyn insisted with a sigh.

"Sure," I barely smiled, trying to play victim.

I knew he would see things my way.

"I want to stay in the clique with you. I know hard times might be coming."

"That's great." I rolled my eyes pretending to sound elated.

Where is my apology?

"But..." He grumbled. Thinking a quiet moment before saying, "I don't want to stay in a relationship with you anymore." There was a sigh from him, finally freeing himself from the weight of me.       

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