On a beautiful spring day in April 1971 I crossed a line I did not even know existed until I crossed it. I was just 19 years old and had enjoyed the exquisite pleasures of jacking off long before I would be able to shoot a load. At a very young age I discovered that if I put my pillow under my dick and started to rub it it would get hard and then if I rubbed long enough I would get this incredible sensation which felt like an intense internal explosion, but unfortunately after the internal explosion my dick would go soft and I would have an unpleasant feeling of shame and embarrassment. After that I would go a couple of weeks before I really had to do the pillow thing again. It would feel great like always and gradually over the years would try to make the feelings in my dick last longer and longer until once again I could put off the external explosion no longer. As usual the same awful feeling would come over me. Then one day shortly before my twelfth birthday the explosion was no longer just internal, this time a lot of stuff came out and it was a gigantic mess. My pillow and my stomach were covered with a yellowish white sticky substance which scared me and which I would later learn was cum, one of the most precious and delicious substances that can come out of a male, a substance known affectionately as cum. From that day I became completely enamored with jacking off. I no longer could wait two weeks between orgasms. I became a regular daily jacker sometimes pleasuring my dick as many as eight times in a day. By the eighth cum my dick was raw from rubbing on the pillow and what came out was quite pitiful if anything at all.
So back to the beautiful April day. I had ridden with a classmate to a large urban park in the southeast section of San Jose ostensibly to watch my roommate play baseball but as with most baseball outings I became incredibly bored and decided to take a walk in the more secluded part of the park. As I was walking I passed a somewhat deserted park restroom. I decided to check it out. I had never done anything in a restroom and had never done anything with another person. When I was in high school I would frequently go to a difficult to reach lake, strip off all my clothes, skinny dip for a while with my intensely hard dick, get out of the water and stroke my hard-on to a most excellent orgasm. So anyway as I was entering the park men's room a guy a bit older than I was exiting. Instead of ignoring me he gave me quite a going over with his eyes and my dick told me I should follow him. As my dick continued to harden I fell in behind him and we did the now most familiar Gay cruising dance. Then he spoke to me first just pleasantries like why are you here, where are you going and as we continued to walk away from the baseball game he finally asked me what did I like to do. I tried to play dumb but my dick was having none of it. He was at full erection and my new found friend could see it. He reached for it and asked me if I wanted a blow job. Once again I tried to play dumb. "I've never had one," I said. But my dick kept telling me and him that this was the opportunity to find out if I liked having a blow-job so I reluctantly but excitedly said yes. We found a deserted field beyond a barbed wire fence and he had me lie down and unbuckle my jeans. He pulled my jeans and briefs down to reveal my throbbing hard-on and proceeded to bathe and engulf my cock giving me the most wonderful blow-job beyond anything I had ever imagined. In spite of all the times I had tried to hold back orgasms while jacking off this time I was not in control and my cock started to erupt in a geyser of cum of which he enjoyed and swallowed every drop. At this point I had crossed that line I had not known existed. Unfortunately as usual after the orgasm I was filled with more shame than I had ever experienced with my pillows and hands. I felt damaged but I was hooked. Nothing would be the same again.
I went back to find my classmate who had brought me and who asked me where had been for such a long time. I told him I had gotten lost and nothing more was said. I wonder if he could tell that the most incredible thing in my life had happened. Well as I said I had crossed a line and from that day forward I would find myself cruising restrooms, parks, malls and eventually train stations and finally taking the big plunge and going to bathhouses. First I just sought what that guy in the field in the park would do to me, a really good blow-job under a stall or through a glory hole or in a stall or back in an outdoor setting then one time the guy I was cruising was greener than me so I crossed another line and learned the equally pleasurable job of cock-sucking and cum-swallowing, mmm-mm-mmmmm! Another line had been crossed.
In my junior year of college I applied to a study abroad program. I decided on Florence and the year began with a bus trip from Amsterdam to Florence. Totally jet-lagged yet unable to sleep I spent the whole evening trying to find the kind of trick I was used to. I guess most of the cruising in Amsterdam was much more upfront in those days and there was little need for the kind of sub-rosa cruising I had become more familiar and more comfortable with so it wasn't until very early in the small hours of the morning that I found someone who was equally clandestine and willing to try something with me. He spoke English so we were able to agree on what we would be doing and that we would be doing it in the safety of his apartment, another first for me.
When we got to his place we went through the usual ritual of his unzipping my trousers and pulling them and my briefs down to find my fully hardened dick proud and ready; he began the usual licking and cock swallowing which I had come to expect and love but just as I was getting close to coming he stopped his wonderful sucking stood up pulled his pants and briefs down as though he expected me to do the same to him but instead he reached for a tube of Vaseline and started lubing my cock. Well it felt good but I wondered why is he doing this. Next thing I know he starts lubing his asshole. Wow he is expecting me to stick my cock in there. I've never done that before but I'm game for anything and the next thing he engulfs my cock with his ass just like he did with his mouth. Holy Toledo! Does this feel great or what and like a duck to water I start pumping his ass like a pro. After all I did begin my sexual practices with a pillow and this was just like the pillow but so much nicer and so much hotter because the pillow never squeezed me back the way this guy's ass is doing and once again I've crossed another line. This is the best yet.
During my junior year I go out looking for sex all the time, dick or ass or both whatever is on offer. I even come very close to getting arrested in the Munich train station restroom while standing with a bunch of guys jacking off at the urinals. That was not fun and I was glad to get out of there alive and back on the train to Florence.
Once my junior year was over I had to get serious about life after college and although I had thrown myself completely into a closeted Gay lifestyle trying to get as much sex as often as possible, I actually had convinced myself to join a Catholic religious order with the intention of becoming a priest. I don't who I was kidding but the self deception and the double life I was leading was driving me crazy. On the day before my first interview to enter the order I spent the day cruising every possible place I could think and even tried to beg my way into the Ritch Street Baths. I was a mental mess but I was bound and determined to see this harebrained scheme through. I continued to cruise restrooms all the time, suck dick as often as I could and fuck as many guys as I could find. My senior year ended. I graduated and then spent the summer living in a religious house of the order I was planning on joining in August but going out almost every night to cruise the boys on Polk Street and scoring some pretty fine ass almost every night.
When the summer program finished at the end of July I returned to my parent's house to spend the three weeks prior to entering the Novitiate quietly preparing myself. This however was way beyond my endurance and I wasn't home three days when I found myself in one of the notorious parks of the town cruising the restroom and meeting a guy who wanted to play with me. He took me home and we stripped and fucked and it was excellent except that he wanted to rush me out as soon as I came because "the boyfriend" might be home any second. I go t the hint but we made arrangements to hook up again and even did it in his garage while "the boyfriend" was home.
Now the day of entrance to the Novitiate had finally arrived and I was scared, but I had come this far and it seemed there was no turning back so I tried to put a good face on it and live up to everyone's expectations including my own. But the fear and the tremors in my body were out of control. And somehow this daily multiple jacker who loved blow-jobs, sucking and fucking was contemplating a life of celibacy including abstinence from masturbation. Well this was going to be quite a trial.
I managed to keep my hands off my dick for a month and I prayed for something I had never had before, an honest to goodness wet dream with the cum all over my pubes and pajamas. Eventually I even flirted with a little pillow rubbing but I'd always stop before the orgasm. It was torture and after three months I had the bluest balls I had ever experienced. Up to this point I had never even gone long enough to experience the blue ball phenomenon. Now I knew it for real.
In the early days of November as we began our retreat it dawned on me that the jig was up. I could no longer live this shame or lie and after a tortured afternoon of deep thought and some writing I decided it was time to go. I wrote a sort of tell all letter but without really telling all and then I went to a place where I knew I would not be disturbed. I opened my jeans pulled out my hardening dick that had been begging for attention for months and with simply the spit on my hand I throttled my cock like it had never been wrung before, and for the past three months it hadn't. It felt wonderful I shot one of the biggest loads I had ever shot. It was so strong my dick hurt from the force of it but what a release. I now knew I had to pack a small bag and plot my escape when it would be least noticed.
When everyone else had gone to bed I snuck out of the novices' residence and I headed down the back road which led to the freeway. It was a long walk taking at least a half an hour but when I put my thumb out on the freeway onramp I felt a freedom I had never known before. It was not very long before a single man picked me up and told me he was heading to West Hollywood. Wow this sounded good. He told me he was going to Melrose Avenue. Eventually I revealed a good bit of my story including where I had come from and oh by the way I had no money. He offered to take to the place he was going and to pay my way. He was going to the baths and he would pay my way in.
Believe me I was like a sailor on leave. I fucked and sucked as many guys as I could that night and then when I had reached my time limit at about 8:00 in the morning I stumbled out into the very bright Hollywood sun and as if I had not had enough sex in the Melrose Avenue Baths I went into the arcade of a nearby Gay bookstore looking for more. I didn't find much, I fooled around with a couple of guys but was too tired and too worn out after my night at the baths.
At this point I had no idea where I was going I was just putting distance between me and the Novitiate. I got on the Santa Ana Freeway onramp stuck my thumb out and in a couple of rides I found myself in San Diego's Balboa Park. At this point in my life whenever I found myself in a city park it meant only one thing – look for dick or ass in a restroom or the bushes so I started my hunt. I guess I looked pretty disheveled after my night in the baths with no sleep. I attracted a couple of guys but nothing really came of it.
I left the park and started hitchhiking in San Diego's Gay neighborhood, the Hillcrest area and it wasn't long before a guy picked me up, asked me where I was going and seemed interested in me and offered to take me home for the night as it was getting dark. We weren't five minutes in his house when he put the moves on me and even though I was dead tired my dick rose to the occasion; our clothes came off and he started sucking my very raw dick, a prelude to his lubing my dick and his ass for a night of serious fucking. In spite of how tired I was at the age of 22 I was never too tired to enjoy the hot ass of a horny young dude and we did.
Next morning he dropped me on the I-8. I thought I would try Phoenix. I had never been there so what the heck. I got a couple of short rides and then got dumped in the very hot city, even in November, of El Centro. For a while it looked like I was going to be stuck in El Centro. I hadn't had anything to eat in quite a while and I had no money and it did not look like I was going to meet any young Gay guys who would want to have sex with me. Finally an older guy in a pickup responded to my thumb. At least he was going to Yuma. He got me out of El Centro and bought me some donuts.
As night was falling it looked like I was going to be stuck in Yuma with no where to go, nothing to eat and nobody to have sex with. I was beginning to despair when a young guy in an over packed Triumph stopped and asked if I needed a ride. Oh yeah and since he was young I was hoping that maybe I'd be getting some sex along with the ride. That however was not to be.
Well if there wasn't going to be sex at least there was going to be a ride. As we talked I began to think that instead of stopping in Phoenix I would go as far as this guy would take me. We talked about Boston or New Orleans and for a while these both sounded like good ideas. I was still in running mode. The guy driving the Triumph was very kind to me, bought me several meals but eventually he got tired of the freeloader he had picked up in Yuma and finally dropped me on the freeway in Oklahoma City. He was heading for Chicago I for New Orleans.
I got a couple of rides on the highway towards Dallas but one of them was from a very creepy guy who scared the shit out of me. I got out of that car as quickly as I could just outside the town of Norman where an Oklahoma university is located and I immediately thought if there is a university there will surely be some tea rooms. I did not want tea I wanted dick so my Gaydar guided me straight to the cruisiest restroom on campus and happily I found the restroom with a guy who wanted to suck my dick. I wanted to suck him off too and we both sucked each other to orgasm.
Having shot my load I headed for a diner had an English muffin using the last pennies I had from the Triumph driver. After I had my muffin I begged the waitress for the bus fare to Dallas and believe it or not she gave me her tip money.
As the sun came up over Norman I got on the bus to Dallas and instead of getting back on the highway to hitch my way to New Orleans I found the Club Baths of Dallas taking the first shower I had taken since leaving San Diego. I fooled around with a couple of the guys who hung out at the baths on a workday afternoon but it was a pretty dismal experience.
Back on the freeway in the afternoon rush hour I was picked up by CB honking trucker who in his trucker argot alerted the Texas Troopers that he had a vagrant he was going to dump in Corsicana. So when I was dumped in Corsicana a Texas Trooper was waiting to greet me. He ran my id through NCIC but got no hits. I begged him to take me to the Catholic priest in the town. You can imagine how thrilled the already inebriated priest was to see me. He and the Trooper felt that the best place for me would be the Salvation Army facility, a place that was just inches above a prison cell.
The next morning the Trooper brought me back to the priest who put me to work washing windows. I can safely say he got the worst deal on windows but after three hours of window washing he gave me the fare to New Orleans and was very glad to see the back of me. When we got to Houston it was necessary to change buses but instead of finding the New Orleans bus I decided to see what kind of Gay action I could find in Houston. I found my way to Mary's and once there I found exactly what I was looking for, a hot bottom who wanted my cock up his ass and was willing to take me home, wash the clothes I had been wearing for a week, get me naked, suck my dick and let me fuck his hot ass all night long. I hadn't fucked anyone since San Diego and it was great to sink my cock into his fine young ass.
Next morning I got up showered, dressed in my freshly laundered clothes, rode to the bus terminal with my hot trick from the night before and started on the last leg of my journey. It had been quite a week.
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