Alex and Sebastian 45
Hello again guys, this is the final season for Alex and Sebastian. I hope you guys enjoy!
Anyways, please continue to email me so I know someone is reading and liking what I'm writing. I also have a playlist of songs that I listen to while writing the chapters if y'all are interested.
The email you can reach me at is lore.guerra13@gmail.com for questions, comments, concerns or donations ha-ha, just kidding!
A fellow reader made a playlist with most of the songs I've either used or will use in the series. If y'all want to listen to it while reading the chapters the link for it is this:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJZWEUrY9KRSfQ98rYlMYix46VM0CJ7XS
One new song will be added on to the playlist.
Bruises – Train
Running Low – Shawn Mendes
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7 weeks before the wedding
Saying goodbye, I hung up the phone.
"Who was that?" Matt asked.
"Work," I said, putting my shirt on. "They want me to go back up to finalize some items."
Matt rolled in the bed and looked up at me. "Can't you just, like, fax it or something?"
I sighed, "No, they really want me to be there in person."
"Ugh," Matt groaned as he buried his head in the pillow. "You want me to go with you?" He asked, after a while.
I noticed how tired he looked from this past trip so I declined. "I can go by myself, Matt. It's fine."
"When do they need you by?"
"They said anytime this week would be fine by them."
"Ok, maybe I'll feel better tomorrow so I can go with you." I smiled and kissed his forehead. I noticed he was a little warm and decided to stop by the store and get him some medicine after work.
For the past two weeks, I had started my position as an upper Biology professor. I loved the fact that I didn't need to deal with freshman anymore and now had a relatively more mature class. I'd have to be blind to not notice how some of the girl students would look at me while I taught, though. Hell, I had even caught some of my male students glancing at me. To be frank, I found it flattering. Regardless, I hadn't come back down to my old town and university to meet someone – I was with Matt after all – I had come to teach. Well, I had come for a wedding, really, but now I was also here to teach.
As my lecture came to an end, I approached my lunch period. For the first week, I had spent my lunch time with Matt occasionally joining him at his office or him commuting to mine. Last week, when he was gone to Austin, I had spent it by myself. Not wanting to do that today, I tried calling Matt to see if he wanted me to drop some food off for him. When he didn't reply, I assumed he was just asleep and decided to call back later.
Looking through my phone, I debated on calling someone up to see if they wanted to stop somewhere for lunch. Just as I was about to text Lea, my phone vibrated.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey, A. It's me, Sebastian."
A small smile spread across my lips. "Hey, Sebastian. What's up?"
"Nothing, just finishing up some papers that needed to be graded." I heard some shuffling on his end before he added, "I was actually about to step out for our lunch hour. I was just wondering if – if maybe you and Matt wanted to join."
I pulled my phone away from my ear and looked to see if maybe Matt had texted or called back – nothing. "Well, actually, I think Matt is sick right now. He's not answering his phone."
"Oh," he said, sounding slightly disappointed. "It's fine maybe some other time."
Before I could say okay, I heard my stomach grumble. "Actually, if you don't mind, maybe we could meet somewhere – I'm starving."
"Oh, sure," he said. "Yeah, that'll be fine. You want to meet up at Subway in a few minutes?"
"Sounds good," I said.
"Alright, see you in a bit, A."
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"Yeah, Michele. I know." I stopped my car as I waited for the red light in front of me to turn green. "I'll probably make it in tomorrow night. Lily won't be able to make it though, she has a recital with her mom."
My sister's birthday was this weekend and, as I had promised to be there for her 26th birthday, she was calling to make sure I was going to keep my word.
"Yes, I'll tell her you said you missed her," I said. "Love you, Mich. I'll see you tomorrow night."
I parked in front of Subway and walked inside. I didn't have to look for Alex as he came up to me.
"Hey, Sebastian," he said as he gave me a friendly hug. "Long time no see, huh?" Being that the last time I had seen him was only a few days ago when he was watching The Little Mermaid with Lily and me, I laughed.
"Yeah, it's been forever. I had almost forgotten what your face looked like," I smiled.
After ordering two 6 inchers (he-he), Alex and I sat across from each other and began eating. "Sorry I was late, by the way," I said. "I was on the phone with Michele."
"Oh, really? How is she? I haven't seen her since after ... you know."
I nodded. "She's been doing fine – better. Working a lot." I took another bite of my sub and chased it down with raspberry tea. "Her birthday is tomorrow so I'm driving up to spend it with her."
Alex's eyes snapped up at me from his sandwich. "Wait, you're going to Austin tomorrow?" He asked.
"Uh, yeah?" I said, confused as to why he was reacting like he was. "Why?"
"Well, work called. I need to go up to Austin to meet with them in person before the week is over. I was – I was planning on going up alone since Matt is sick."
"Oh, if you want, you can ride with me," I offered.
Alex was quiet for a few seconds. "Yeah, ok," he said.
I was only offering out of politeness, to be honest. I never thought he'd say yes. "Wait, really?"
"Yeah, unless you weren't being serious?"
"No, I mean, yes. I was."
"Good," he smiled and took another bite of his sandwich. "I'll be ready by tomorrow then."
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The car ride to Austin was uneventful for Alex and me. Yes, we talked about our lives and shared stories, but other than that, it was pretty normal. We got into Austin at around 7:30 pm and were at my sister's door by 8.
"Happy birthday, Michele!" Alex offered my sister a kiss on the cheek and hugged her as she opened her door to let us in.
"Thanks, Alex!" She gave him a tight hug before pulling away and looking at him. "Man, it's been for ever since I'd seen you! How are you? Come inside!" I found my eyes wander off to the side of my sister's head. Her scar was almost invisible under her hair. Michele must have seen me look as she kissed my cheek and closed the door behind me.
"Oh, you know," Alex looked back at me and smiled as he took a seat on my sister's couch. "I'm good."
"Good?" She looked at him with raised eyebrows and sat in the couch adjacent to him, I sat between them. "What about Matt? How are you two?"
"We're good. He's been sick this past week so he couldn't come up with me. We're still getting used to the town, but we're good," he smiled.
"We'll alright," My sister turned to me and gave me a small look. "It looks like everything is, you know, good."
After catching up for a while, Michele told us that she was meeting some of her friends at a bar they frequented. She invited us and offered us her room to get ready.
Alex and I walked inside and placed our bags down on the floor. While he went into the restroom for a quick shower, I took my clothes off and looked for a clean pair of pants and a nice shirt. I found an ironing board in her closet and started by ironing my pants and followed with my shirt.
As I finished ironing my shirt, I heard the shower stop. Realizing, I was standing in my underwear, I put my pants on and reached for my shirt as I saw the restroom door open. Alex walked out with a towel wrapped around his waist and looked at me sheepishly, his wet hair dangling in front of his face.
"Sorry, I – I left some stuff in my bag."
"No problem," I said as I finished zipping up my pants and began to button up my shirt. Alex walked to where his bag was and took it back inside the restroom with him. I shook my head, realizing I had been lingering on him as he closed the door behind him.
An hour later, all three of us were ready and headed to a bar to meet my sister's friends. Michele drove shotgun while Alex sat in the back looking out the window. It must have been weird being back here after moving back home – or maybe Alex didn't see it that way. Maybe this city was his home.
"Oh! I've always loved Train!" My sister picked up the radio and joined mid-song, derailing my train of thought.
"One that's five and one that's three.
Been two years since he left me.
Good to know that you got free.
That town I know was keeping you down on your knees."
Michele turned in her seat and looked at Alex. "Come on, A. How long has it been since we sang to the radio?"
I looked in the rearview mirror and saw Alex give my sister a small smile. "It's been a while, yeah."
"See," she smiled. She turned to me next. "You too, Sebbie."
I gave her a look. "Me what?"
"I haven't heard you sing in forever!"
I gave her a small laugh and shook my head. "I'm not singing, sis."
Michele gave me a small punch on the arm. "It's my birthday," she said. "You can't upset me on my birthday."
"Oh, that's horseshit," I laughed.
Michele rolled her eyes and looked back at Alex. "Come on, A." Looking back at me she added, "If Alex does it, you have to do it, too."
I looked in my rearview mirror again as I saw Alex join my sister in singing Train's Bruises.
"Have you seen him? (Not in years.)
(How about her?) No, but I hear.
She's in Queens with the man of her dreams.
(Funny back then she said that about you.)"
Michele turned to me and gave me an expectant look. I rolled my eyes but I couldn't hide my smile as I joined her.
"(Que sera, you'll never guess who I saw – remember Johnny B?)
Remember him? We were best friends, practically.
Let's do this soon again.
(Ten years is that what it's been?
Can't believe how time flies by.)
Leaving you makes me want to cry."
Alex was looking out the window so he couldn't see me looking at him through my rear view mirror as I sang the last words.
Leaving you makes me want to cry.
Something must have caught his attention as he turned away from the window and looked up at me. I blinked, hoping he wouldn't be freaked out that I was staring at him. Instead, he gave me a small smile and sang.
"I would love to fix it all for you.
(I would love to fix you, too.)
Please, don't fix a thing.
Whatever you do ..."
I don't know what it was, but at the moment Alex and I looked at each other – it was almost as if the past few years hadn't happened. It was like we were still 22 and young and stupid and unburdened by all the shit going on in our lives. Hell, it was like we were back at his apartment singing Aerosmith and dancing around like idiots.
"These bruises make for better conversation.
Loses the vibe that separates.
It's good to let you in again.
You're not alone in the hell you've been.
Everybody loses – we all got bruises."
"That was awesome!" My sister smiled as she lowered the radio. "You guys were really good!" She turned to look at Alex, "Man, A. I missed hearing you sing."
My sister gave me a small look that I couldn't understand before telling me to take a left at the next right. We rode the next few minutes singing along to the radio as we arrived at the bar.
Michele introduced us to her friends and we chit-chatted, sharing some drinks for a while. Alex excused himself for a minute as his phone rang. I saw him walk to a quitter section of the bar and look a little frustrated. When he came back, I looked at him and he just shot me a small smile. Seeing Alex come back, Michele's friends decided to dance but both Alex and I declined the offer.
"It's fine," I said, looking at my sister. "It's probably for the best," I laughed. Michele tried one more time to get us to dance with her friends but both Alex and I weren't having it.
As my sister left us to go dance, Alex and I headed to the bar and ordered another round of drinks for ourselves. Before we left though, the bartender offered us two shots on the house.
"Michelle's a sweet girl," he said. "Glad to finally meet her brother."
Alex and I thanked him. We looked at each other and smiled as we counted to three before downing the shots. I couldn't stop from lingering on him as a small shiver ran through his body after the shot. When he turned to look at me, I snapped out of it, smiled and told him to follow me to an empty bar table.
Weeks on end, I'm on the road.
I start to lose my sense of hope.
I should've called so many times
But I just sat next to my phone.
Just know it takes it from me
To end this, darling, oh.
Drinks in hand, we sat across from each other in the small bar table. "So," I smiled, feeling a slight buzz from the last shot we had taken. "Let's talk about your life, Alex."
"My life is pretty boring," he laughed, taking a drink from his beer.
"Oh, come on," I laughed. "Matt moved in with you. Bet the sex is pretty boring, huh? What is he? 6'3''? Yeah, bet that's hella boring."
Alex's face flushed as he laughed. "No, we are not doing this."
"You're right, I don't want to know." And I really didn't. "You're happy, I'm happy," I forced myself to lie.
It was miniscule, but I noticed a change in Alex's face. "Yeah ..."
I leaned forward. "You're not happy?"
Alex blinked and his face returned to normal. "It's not that simple, Seb. I am happy. Just, you know, there's always the little things. Forget about it," he laughed.
Thinking back to every night
That we just laid there for a while.
And when I looked into your eyes,
I never thought I'd say goodbye.
Just know it takes it from me
To end this, darling, oh.
Suddenly, I remembered the call he had gotten earlier tonight. "That call you made earlier, you looked upset. It wasn't work was it?" I asked.
Alex looked at his phone and sighed. "No," he said. "It was Matt."
"Oh," I said, "Is something wrong?"
Alex looked at me and gave me a sad smile. "He just wanted to know how I was."
I squinted my eyes. "And that upset you?" We both knew each other well enough to know he was leaving something out. I shook my head, "No, what else did he say, A?"
Alex sighed, "We've been – he's been thinking about moving to the west coast after the wedding. He's got a job lined up already. It'll be double the pay and double the benefits. He wants to get a nice house over there with our savings. He was running it by me one more time."
That should be me.
That should be us.
"Oh, that, uh, sounds really perfect," I lied.
Alex gave me a sad smile, almost like he knew what I was thinking. "Nothing's ever perfect," he shrugged. "But this is really close."
Just needed time to – to find my own
But I promise someone will give you all you want.
Can give you all you need.
And you just got to see
I never meant to hurt you, no.
I felt a small weight against my heart. "Does he love you?" I asked.
Alex looked up at me and his face showed a glimpse of guilt. "Yes," he said.
The weight against my heart grew.
"Do you love him?"
Alex was quiet for a moment as he met my eyes. In them, I saw all the pain and hurt that we had caused each other, but I also saw all the love and laughs and memories we had shared.
"I want to," he said.
I noticed he said that he wanted to – not that he did.
He wants to. Who am I to try and stop him from being happy?
"You should go," I said.
His eyes looked hurt. "Sebastian," he started.
"No, really," I smiled and moved to his side of the table. "You deserve it." I reached out my hand and held his. His soft brown eyes reflected a look of relief and longing. I felt myself losing it the longer I looked at him. Slowly, I leaned forward and gently kissed his cheek. I moved back and looked at him again. "Let yourself be loved, A," I smiled.
And I know you'll find someone who
Gives you the time I didn't give to you.
I'm running low –
I'm sorry, but I have to go.
I excused myself to use the restroom, unable to stop a small pool of tears from forming in my eyes as I walked. Entering a stall, I lost my composure and silent tears rolled down my face.
I wanted so bad to hold him and tell him to stay with me. I wanted it so bad it hurt.
But I couldn't do it.
I couldn't force him to choose me. His life was with Matt and I had to respect that.
I wiped my tears away, stepped out of the stall and washed my face.
And maybe I will never feel –
You gave me something so real.
I'm sorry, but I have to go.