To The stage Ch. 3
This story is pure fiction and is not intended to imply anything This story contains sexual Contact between to underage males if this is illegal to read where You live then please hit the back button now!! Everything in this Story is made up, the names and people are fake: they are not Real! Please do not copy or paste this anywhere else, but please feel free to email kd_stories@yahoo.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------- It has been a long time since I have wrote on this story, but sometimes I need a break to reassess and come back with something fresh. I have re-read this story and decided I am not done with it. this will take place roughly 6 months after his meltdown. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Grey Alexander Holden Age: 16-Main Character Neil Holden. Age 40-Father Tessa Palmer age: 19-Grey's PR Zeke Anthony Holden Age 15: Grey's half brother. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the first public appearance of Grey Holden since he was released from the hospital over six months ago. I am honored to have him here today with us live in person." Ellen says to the cameras.
I feel the butterflies in my stomach, I hold off the metallic salty taste in my mouth. "Are you sure you want to do this baby boy?" Dan asks.
I nod to him, "I have too. Dr. Broadstone said it's one of the final steps."
I wait for my cue, and I walk onto the stage. The lights are bright, and the crowd is really loud. I am greeted with a hug from Ellen, and I still stiffen up. She notices and whispers in my ear we can still put this off. I tell her no.
"Grey, I am so honored to have you here today." She says as we sit down.
"Thanks Ellen, I told you I would come in person to your show. Sorry it just has taken so long."
"Well you have had a busy schedule. I mean look at you! You have grown what an Inch? You are still as handsome as ever! I wished my hair was like yours!" She says smiling.
I shake out my hair it's still long, and I have grown taller, I am wearing white skinny jeans as always and a short green tight fitting shirt. I blush, "Thank you, and you look amazing as always."
"You are always such a charmer. So Grey what have you been doing all this time? Last time anyone from the public has seen you was when you were released from the hospital in fact this is the last known photo of you to date." She says pointing to the screen.
I look at it, and I feel the shame creep up my spine, it was the day I was released. I had so many bruises on my face, and my eyes looked so vacant. I start to get teary eyed, but I fight it off.
"Well, I was abducted from my last show, and I went through hell Ellen. I was beaten and tortured for three days and nights. I actually had fractured ribs, and a broken hand as well as fingers in that picture." I tell her.
"Wow, I am so sorry Grey. No one knew any details of what happened, besides that you disappeared and showed up a few nights later. How have you been since then?"
I grip my shaking hands, "It's not been easy. For a month I locked myself in my private house, I wouldn't leave my room. At one point I tore the room apart, and every mirror in the room. I was in a really bad place, my former label wanted to put me in the media but my manager Dan wouldn't let it happen. They wanted me to take a month off and resume touring, but honestly I wasn't in any shape to get out there and perform at all. I could barely have anyone touch me, and forget about even trying to talk, I was a mess. So I moved in with my father, I was dropped from the label which is okay I guess. I have been in therapy to talk things out about what happened, I have even been to physical therapy for my hand well mainly the fingers." I say holding it up. I couldn't even play a guitar anymore."
"That seems like a lot of pressure on you, I cannot believe your label dropped you! That is just horrible. How has your father been handling all this?"
"He has helped me a lot; he has supported me through all of this. I have just really been enjoying spending time with him and his new wife and of course I have enjoyed spending time and getting to know my little brother. He is so great we are pretty much like best friends.
"That is great I would love to meet your little brother sometime, is he as charming as you?" Ellen asks.
"He is learning from the master. He is actually backstage, he is getting used to the lifestyle change. Funny thing is when I first met him he freaked out on me, and locked himself in his room. He didn't believe I was his brother, he is a good kid."
"Well he has a great role model. I am glad to see you look so healthy. Any other exciting news?" She asks.
I smile big, "Well I am wearing some baby blue Ellen underwear!" I say getting up lifting my shirt up to show the waist band of my boxers. I hear a lot of screaming teen girls, I just smile. "Ellen I am disappointed you didn't ask me about my underwear!"
She is blushing, "Well I wasn't sure it was something you wanted to talk about!"
"I always want to talk about underwear with you!" I say winking at her.
"You are such a charmer it's ridiculous ladies and gentlemen! I tell you I have had a blast with this young man."
"Oh before we go Ellen, I wanted you to be the first to have something!" I say cuing Zeke to come out with a present.
He runs out wearing skinny blue jeans and a tank top, with sunglasses and a hat. We didn't want him totally exposed just yet to the media. He hands me the gift bag, "Here you go Ellen."
I watch as she takes it, "I wanted you to be the first to have my new record, which drops next week. On my very own label." I say beaming.
She takes out the CD and shows it to the crowd. It has a picture of me on my front steps in jeans and a tank top with a guitar, and the title "To the Stage". "It is more acoustic, there are some songs that aren't, but it's very personal and something that I have been obsessing over for a very long time." I say.
"I am so honored, and excited to hear it! Your own label, how exciting!" she says.
"Yeah my father and I decided after my label dropped me that we would make our own, so I had all the creative freedom I wanted. In fact my little brother here is featured on one track with me!" I say putting my arm around him.
We all walk back stage, and I try to calm my nerves. Tessa is there and hands me some anxiety meds that I have now. I take them with water, "well how did I do?" I ask her.
"You did amazing! I am so proud of you Grey!" She says hugging me. I let her, I still don't like to be overly touched, but I have come to accept it from my loved ones.
"Grey you were fantastic! I am so happy to have you here, and you're an incredible young man!" Ellen says hugging me.
I tense up a little, and give her a weak hug back, "Thanks for having me on the show."
"I told you anytime you want!" She says hugging me once more before she walks off.
"Well baby boy, the pre-orders for your new album are live and they are selling fast!" Dan says walking up to me.
"That's awesome, I am still so nervous!" I confess.
Tessa hands me my phone, "There's no way you should be, but you are trending number one on twitter with your album title as the second one!"
As I take the phone, I get a phone call. The familiar face pops up on my screen that I miss so much. The floppy brown hair and shining green eyes, and that smile. I slide the green icon over to answer the call. I hold up my hand to motion for her to give me a minute.
"Hello?" I say into the phone in almost a whisper.
"Grey?" I hear his smooth voice ask.
"Yeah, it's me."
"How are you? I just saw you on Ellen. I wanted to say congratulations on forming your own Label and the new Album dropping. I know you mentioned that you wanted your own label before." Kaiden says.
"Yeah we did talk about it before huh? Thank you....how are you?" I ask, because I can't help it I have this ache in my chest.
"I'm really good actually; I have a new job at a grocery store it's nothing fancy but it pays decent. I actually got my licence and a car a few months ago!" He says excitedly.
"That's awesome! I am happy for you..." I trail off.
"I do miss you Grey, but I am really happy with my life." He confesses to me.
I sit down in a chair, "are you still seeing that person from Tennessee?"
"Yeah Jared and I are still together. I do still love you Grey, just it's not the same love anymore. I want you to know I came back the next day, but no one was there."
"Yeah, we left right after you did. I'm sorry I should have told you and I didn't. I am happy for you Kaiden, that's all I wanted is for you to be happy. You were right when you said we wouldn't have worked out, you didn't love yourself, and neither did I. So how were we supposed to love each other? Hey I have to go, but I will have a show in Wichita soon. Do you think you would like to come?"
"I wished you would have told me you left. I was heartbroken for a long time, but the answer is yes I would love to come to your show."
I smile, "Cool I will leave you two passes so Jared can come as well."
"But Grey you CAN NOT get me out on stage this time!" He tells me.
I laugh hard, "If you say so. I have to go, it was so great talking to you Kaiden. I really appreciate your calling."
He tells me goodbye and hangs up. I stare at the phone for a few minutes; I wish I would have told him that I am so much better than I was and that I am learning to love myself. But he is happy and I couldn't put him in that position even though the most selfish part of me wanted too.
Zeke walks over to me, "Who was that?"
"Kaiden." I tell him getting up, and putting my arm around him.
"How is he?"
"He is good, and very happy, and so am I." I tell him slapping him in the chest.
"Yo, I am ready to head out and go back home. I have an appointment to get to." I tell Tessa.
"I know this Grey! You are so lucky that I am as huge as a whale right now or I would punch you!" She tells me teasing.
I enter the building via the front. The only reason I chose this therapist is because her office is behind a huge gate where I know the paparazzi can't have access to any of her patients. Plus she is really cool, and since her office is on her own property, her house isn't too far from the office. That and she even signs confidentiality agreements that she agrees to never say a word about what we talk about. Well unless it involves suicide then it's a whole different story.
I sit outside her office door, in the cushy chair; Dr. Broadstone has helped me so much. I can actually be sexually aroused without wanting to puke. She also helped me to understand that what happened to me wasn't my fault no matter what I thought. For the longest time I blamed myself for the assault, but it wasn't my fault at all. It was those sick people, who I still hope are going to get caught soon.
Her door flies open, and a teenage boy storms out, he stops and looks at me. I don't think he recognizes me just yet. I still have my sunglasses on, "good luck with that stubborn woman! She won't listen at all!"
I kind of just smile at him, he is, cute he is slim with brown hair and hazel eyes and he is about my height. He is wearing blue jeans and a hard rock caf‚ shirt. "I will take your advice then." I tell him.
Dr. Broadstone comes out of her office; she has brown curly hair and brown eyes. A very petite woman who has that motherly feel. "Alec, I have already told you about this I don't want you out past 11pm." She tells him.
"Come on Aunt Sharon, this isn't fair!" He says getting more upset.
Dr. Broadstone turns her attention to me, "Grey I am so sorry. I didn't even realize you were here already. My nephew was just leaving to go do his homework!" She tells me and shoots a glare at her nephew.
"Good luck with her! Don't be surprised if she sucks all the fun out of everything!" he says stomping off.
I just chuckle, and make my way into the office sitting on the chair/couch thing. I smile at her when she comes into the room shutting the door, "Seems like he is happy with you." I tell her.
She laughs, "Yeah, never realized having a teenager around the house was this challenging."
"Care to talk about it?" I ask attempting to get the attention off me.
"Only if you feel like sharing first." She says.
"You drive a hard bargain." I tell her.
"Always have, so I saw you on TV today. How was it?" She asks sitting in her chair across from me.
"Honestly, it was well..." I say before she cuts me off.
"Sunglasses Grey you know the rules!"
I sighed and removed the sunglasses, she has the rule that I cannot wear sunglasses in the room, because I tend to avoid eye contact on subjects I'd rather not talk about, but she says those are the very ones I need to talk about.
I clear my throat, "It was good...okay maybe not that good, but it went well. I was nervous." I admit.
"Why were you nervous?"
I run my hands through my hair, "It was my first public appearance, since everything that went down. I guess I was just scared of how I was going to be greeted."
"I think you were greeted well, I mean you acted normal. I know it must have been scary for you, but think about this, the worst part is over."
"NO it's not. Now I need to perform..."
"That scares you?" she asks.
"Does having a teenager in your house scare you?" I counter.
She smiles, "A little yes."
"Well getting on a stage to perform scares the hell out of me." I say
"Why, you once told me that being on stage was the safest place you ever felt. That it was what made you feel alive." She asks writing down notes.
I sigh, "It used to...I don't know if it still does, I mean the last time I came off I stage I was abducted, tortured, raped, and left in a parking lot." I say choking up.
She puts down the notepad, "That was over seven months ago, what if you step on stage and once again become that confident young man that you once were?"
"What if I don't?" I counter.
"What if you do?" she presses.
"Kaiden called me..." I say changing the subject.
She perks up, "how did that conversation go?"
I shrug, "not as great as I would have hoped. He said he still loves me, but it isn't the same. He is still dating Jared that Tennessee guy. I asked him if he would come to a show of mine if I left him passes. I even offered to leave Jared passes."
"Seems to me like you are jealous." She states.
"No I'm not!" I say getting defensive.
"Okay, then what is it? The fact that you weren't where you needed to be and he waited, but eventually had to move on? Or that he is happy?"
I shrug my shoulders, "I guess I am a little bit jealous that he is happy, and that it's with someone else. He gave up a lot to be with me, and when I broke apart I pushed him so far away that it was only fair that he found someone that made him happy."
She sits back smiling, "I think you are right."
I roll my eyes, "How do you get me to say all these things?"
"I just ask the right questions, you already know what you need to say it's just the fact that you aren't being honest with yourself."
"So, what is the deal with your nephew?" I ask.
She laughs, "He is just an overdramatic teenager. I moved him in with me after my sister proved; once more that she is an unfit mother. He wants to go to a beach party tonight, and things are still fresh for him, and I don't want things being brought up that he isn't ready to face." She says.
"Must be serious." I say looking at her.
"It is, plus it's put him through an emotional struggle, well Grey our time is up. So I guess we will meet next month same time?"
I get up putting my shades back on, "That sounds good....thanks Dr. B. I don't think you know how much you have actually helped me."
"Just doing my job, you're the one who is helping yourself." She says.
I walk out of her office back into the hall, only to run into her nephew. "Sorry I didn't realize there would be anyone a few feet outside the door." I say fumbling for my sunglasses.
"I..I'm sorry, I just need to change her mind." He says bending down to get my sunglasses. He hands them to me and he nearly drops them again.
"Holy fuck your Grey Holden!"
I blush at this, "umm...yeah I guess so."
"Holy shit, wow. Damn I didn't know that was you. Holy shit." He stammers.
"You have said that a few times." I say smiling.
He closes his mouth and just stares at me, "I feel like an idiot." He blurts out.
I laugh, "Dude don't be its cool. I don't think I have ever not been recognized in public."
"No, like I just didn't think I'd ever be face to face with Grey Holden, I mean you're like super famous and no one has seen you in like months. I mean you don't look bad, like you look good, just like I was griping about my aunt, to Grey Holden....ummm I am just going to shut up now." He says.
I take my shades back, "Hey man it's all good. I'm Grey." I hold out my hand.
"Alec...." He says taking my hand.
I let go, and just smile. "Well maybe she is right, you might just need to chill and adjust to living here for a bit."
He just nods, "Yeah maybe so."
"Well I guess I will see you around." I say smiling at him as I walk away.
I Know it has been a long time since I have wrote anything for this story! I recently received an email regarding this story that caused me to go back and read the story and I felt so inspired that I had to write this again! Thanks to my wonderful editor Mike who not only is editing on this story but on The sound of starting over as well! I will be alternating between both stories I hope you all enjoy feedback is always welcome!
KD