All Alone: Chapter 13
All Alone
Copyright © 2013 by JD
Authors Note: This story you are about to read is one of emotions. I have laughed, got angry, cried, and even depressed while writing this story! Most of all, I enjoyed writing it. I hope you the reader will enjoy it as much as I did. For those who would like to email me, you can reach me at johndazel@hotmail.com. Please remember that if you like the stories here on Nifty to donate whatever you can to help keep this wonderful site up and running.
Now on to my generic disclaimer!-
The story you are about to read contains diaper use, violence, adult language and strong sexual content. The following is evil, illegal, should be banned, and all that other blah, blah, blah. If reading a coming of age story of self-discovery about pre-adolescent and adolescent boys that wet their beds, wear diapers, and explore their awakening sexuality with each other does not tickle your pickle (or if the law in your area says that pickle tickling is illegal) then don't read it.
Chapter 13: Saturday November 16th, 2013 – 9:29pm
Saying my talk with Mr. and Mrs. Jackson was pleasant, would be like saying Hitler was just a misunderstood Pacifist! It started off that they were just trying to get a reason why I acted the way I did the day before. I of course explained what I saw and that seemed to cool their jets a little. Mrs. Jackson of course was still angry at me, for wetting myself on her floor. She again made it clear that if I was going to continue having wetting problems, she was going to have to have me wear diapers. I am guessing that the only reason she had not put me in a diaper as soon as it happened, was because of Mary my case worker. I really think she had something to do with it that is. They did try to tell me that it wasn't their intention to make my life here bad, that they were just making sure that I obeyed their rules as they laid them out.
`The Talk' went on for about an hour and was at times very uncomfortable for me. I do have to say that there were brief moments when they did seem to care. I guess that maybe they were right, that just because my mom did things one way, does not mean the way they did them was wrong. I just wish I knew why Mrs. Jackson was so strict that at times it feels as if she is trying prove she is better than me. I also wish I knew what her thing was about when it came to my accidents; I wish she could see that was all it was, an accident! Anyway, I promised them that I would do my best to follow their rules and stay out of trouble. The Jacksons then went on to explain to me how every Sunday, as a family, they go to church to attend the service. They explained to me how I was expected to act while there and stressed to me to try and stay out of trouble. When the talk was finally over, I thankfully headed to bed. Of course I wasn't looking forward to the idea of spending several hours the next morning in church with the Jacksons, but at least I still had plenty of time before I had to really start worrying about that.
I had just pulled my covers over me when Mrs. Jackson surprised me and entered my room. She seemed to have something on her mind as she sat on my bed next to me.
"Jamie, I know you think we are strict and you would be right. But I also want you to know that we are a family and whether you like it or not, you are now a part of it. There are certain things that yes, I am very opinionated on, and sometimes I find that maybe I go a little too far. For the most part, you seem to be a good kid and you are following our rules which both Mr. Jackson and I are very happy about. I am not sure how to say this... I guess... well that maybe the best way is to just say it." Mrs. Jackson's facial structure seemed to soften a little. "Jamie, I know that we haven't been on the best of terms since you got here and I want you to know that, I hope to be more in tune to your special needs and try and improve our relationship. Yes, I cannot replace your mom and I don't intend to. But, I am your guardian and I got into Foster Parents program to help children such as yourself, so I hope that we can at least be friends." At this, Mrs. Jackson got up and I thought for a moment that she was going to leave, but she seemed hesitant.
To be truthfully honest, I really didn't know what to think about this change in her attitude. Right this moment, Mrs. Jackson's behavior was definitely much different when it came to how she dealt with me.
Mrs. Jackson finally figured out what she wanted to say. "I also wanted to apologize for what you saw on the news yesterday. I promise you, that if we find out anything at all about your mom, we will let you know right away. And both I and Mr. Jackson really hope that the officer was right when he says he thinks that it might not be your mom. I will tell you what." And as Mrs. Jackson said this, she started to tuck me in. "Tomorrow when we get to church, I will ask the congregation to pray for your mother's safe return."
"You would do that for me?" I asked in astonishment. Did Mrs. Jackson have a heart after all?
"Jamie, I would love too." The next thing she said changed gears and was on another topic, one that I still felt embarrassed about. "Jamie, will you be honest with me please? I want to know if you have a history of bed or pants wetting? Please don't take this the wrong way, but it would be better that if you do, that we should consider putting you into diapers. This way, furniture, or like the case of last night, carpet, will not get wet and ruined." She explained. "I probably said some things that were wrong of me to do as I never really tolerated pants or bedwetting in my own children. Your caseworker has asked me though to be more sensitive when it comes to that and no matter what my views with my own children, I am respecting her wish and I am given you the benefit of the doubt. Still, I want to stress with you, that if it is all a ploy to gain attention that it will not be tolerated. In this household, it is not the way to gain attention."
This last part was confusing, it was as if Mrs. Jackson was sending me mixed signals. First she says that she is going to give me the benefit of the doubt then she followed it up with a threat! I don't think I will ever get some adults! Still I wanted her to know that it was not a ploy for attention.
"I swear ma'am, I'm not doing it on purpose and I am really sorry for wetting your carpet, but it was just an accident."
She seemed to be satisfied for now that this was the case, I kinda wondered what she would say though if she found out that I had been hiding wetting accidents from her. She then reminded me of her initial question.
"What about what I asked you? Do you have a history of problems like this?"
Now this in my opinion is what they called a loaded question. My problem was that, I wasn't sure if this was some sort of bad trick to get me to tell her about my continued bedwetting. She actually was sounding like she was trying to be nice to me and that she might actually care about me after all. Then again, it had to be some ploy she was pulling and it would be up to me to find out for sure before I say anything about it. For all I knew, this was her way to get me to squeal on my own self. Still, she was waiting for an answer and since I wasn't sure if I could trust her, I lied for the time being.
"Uh... No... No not really." I said a little nervously. I really hoped she couldn't hear the nervousness of my voice. But she again seemed satisfied.
She then surprised me even more and leaned down and kissed me goodnight. I felt her dry lips on my cheek, where she gave me the short peck. Then as she stood back up, she asked me one thing before leaving me to go to sleep.
"Jamie, did you go to the bathroom before getting in bed?" Truthfully I hadn't but I didn't feel the need to go so I lied and nodded my head confirming that I had. I guess she didn't believe me this time. She pursed her lips and it looked like for a moment that she was going to demand that I go to the bathroom anyway. So I was surprised when instead she asked nicely. "Could you please try to go potty one last time before going to sleep?"
I looked at her and sighed. "Okay Mrs. Jackson." I said, a little annoyed that she still didn't trust me and would ask this after I got all nice and comfortable in bed already.
So, I got back up and did as I was asked. It turned out that I did have to go after all. So in the end it was for the best.
Once I was finished, I headed back to my room. Mrs. Jackson had left by the time I got back in, but from what I could hear, it sounded as if she was in Jessie's room. They were talking in whispers that I wasn't able to make out. As I climbed back in my bed, I found myself trying to understand the changes that I was seeing from Mrs. Jackson. Was this her way of trying to say that she is sorry and that she hopes to do better for me, or was this an elaborate hoax to find out if I was hiding anything from her, which of course I was. As I laid in my bed thinking about all of this, it never occurred to me that I had totally forgotten all about the GoodNite. In fact, if I hadn't felt it when I put my hand under the pillow, I would have gone to sleep without putting it on. Boy I am also glad that when Mrs. Jackson was in the room, she didn't come across it by accident.
Quietly, I got back out of bed and after slipping off my pajama bottoms and underwear, I slipped on the GoodNite. It felt a little weird at first, but I quickly became accustomed to the feel of it. There was also something that I couldn't describe, about the bulkiness between my legs that seemed... Well so good!
I then pulled my pajama bottoms back on and checked to see if I could tell that I was wearing the GoodNite. Once satisfied that it was not noticeable, I climbed back into bed. Since I was wearing the GoodNite, I decided to forgo my underwear and left them where they were on the floor.
I really didn't think I was going to be able to sleep at all that night. No longer distracted by Jessie and her friends, I now had plenty of time to lay there and think about all those worried thoughts about my mom and where she was. Surprisingly though, sleep came easier than I expected. I am not sure if this was due to all the stress I was under, the long and activity filled day, or the fact that I have had so little sleep in the last few days. Most likely it was a combination of all 3. When sleep did come, I was out like a light.
My sleep was filled with turbulent dreams, most of them I could not remember. At one point I found myself once again dreaming of the night my mom went missing. The dream started out the same. I was once again sitting next to my mom in the front seat. This time though, there was a subtle change.
I was sitting in the front seat of our car when it broke down. "COME ON!" My mother shouted out, annoyed.
She didn't say anything to me as she got out of the car and proceeded to open the hood.
"What's wrong Mom?" I called out to her. Instead of answering me, I heard her cuss lightly under her breath, which she rarely did.
After leaning under the hood and checking for any seeable problems, Mom returned to the driver seat and once again tried to turn over the engine. Instead of it roaring to life, all I heard was a fast clicking ticking sound. My mom seemed greatly annoyed as she hit the steering wheel hard! I jumped in my seat startled as the car horn blared suddenly from her hitting it.
"What's wrong with the car Mom?" I asked again.
"Damn starter!" She cussed again, this time louder than before.
We both watched as a car slowed down and pulled over in front of us. The driver got out and carefully approached us. As he neared, he shouted out something that neither mom nor I quite heard. Trying to find out what he said, my mother rolled down her window.
"What was that?" My mom asked him as he came up along her side of the car.
"I was wondering if I could give you a lift somewhere?" The man asked her.
He was dressed in a suit and tie and looked like a business man. I almost expected to see him carrying a briefcase with him. His smile seemed genuine to me but it looked as if my mom wasn't too sure about it or him for that matter. She seemed hesitant at accepting this stranger's offer at a ride. I saw that Mom was looking at the car ahead of us so I looked at it too. I noticed that there was someone else in the front seat of the car but could only barely make out the resemblance of a woman in the front seat.
It was about here that I noticed a difference between this dream and the one I had the other night. For some reason, the silhouette of what I thought was a woman in the front seat; seemed different. I don't know why but I found this eerily disturbing. This time, instead of focusing on the man who was helping my mom, I found myself focusing on the lady in the car in front of me. I don't know what it was about her that bothered me, but there was something creepy about her!
When I did look back at the man who was helping my mother, I screamed in terror! Instead of the nice guy that was helping my mom, there was a masked killer of the sort you see on TV or at the movies. In fact, it looked a lot like that Jason Voorhees character from the `Friday the 13th' movies. (If my mother ever caught me watching these movies, she would ground me to the end of time!) He was even carrying a huge machete and at that very moment, used it to chop off my mother's head!
As I screamed in terror; I watched helplessly as the murderer opened the car door and after pulling my decapitated mother out of the way, started to come after me! I felt my bladder release and urine flooding my pants. I didn't have much time to think about that though as the killer was now in striking distance. Once again I screamed as the killer swung his Machete, aiming for my neck...
I sat bolt upright in my bed, sweat pouring from every pore and my heart racing faster than the 2nd hand of a watch. I blinked in the darkness, trying to make out where exactly I was. The after images of the dream were burned into my memory, so the fear was still embracing me. As I sat there in bed and began to realize it was just only a dream, I became relieved. The next worry I had, was that I must have awakened everyone in the house from my screams. When no one showed up in my room though, I decided that the screams must have only been inside my head. Or maybe they just weren't loud enough to wake anyone.
Even though I still felt extremely tired, I had trouble going back to sleep. As I laid there, I started to notice a weird sensation. Due to still being tired, it was hard to exactly describe what it was at that moment that felt so weird. All I knew was the feeling was coming from my groin area. I slowly reached down there and felt a large bulge which also felt kinda different ... maybe even interesting in a weird way that I couldn't understand.
As my hand poked and probed the area, I remembered all about the GoodNite I had put on that night before bed. For some reason, it felt different than when I put it on. It felt bigger and squishy. There was also a feeling of a strange warmth emanating from it. I found the feeling of it, strangely intoxicating and comfortable. Feeling a weird contentment, I fell back to sleep while enjoying the strange feelings that I was having. It wouldn't be until morning when I would find out the reason my GoodNite felt the way it did, was due to me wetting it.
The next time I awoke, it was due to Jessie trying to wake me.
"Hey sleepy head." She gently shook me awake.
"Huh... wha... I don't want to." I mumbled and went back to sleep.
"Come on Jamie! My mom will be up soon and you don't want to get caught in that wet GoodNite." She prodded me as she said this.
"I want to sleep some more!" I whined, still not quite awake.
"Alright, we will do it the hard way!"
Suddenly, I was yanked out of bed and forced to stand up. I still refused to open my eyes and even tried to go back to sleep as I was forced to stand there.
"Oh no you don't!" Jessie stated. "You better open your eyes or I am going to put you into the shower and turn on the cold water." She threatened.
"Do I have to?" I whined while slightly opening my eyes.
"Yes! Now wake up before my mom comes up here and sees you!" Jessie commanded.
No longer capable of easily sleeping, I started to do just that... wake up that is. As I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, Jessie just stood there smiling at me.
"What time is it?" I asked through a yawn.
"Almost 7:30." Jessie announced.
"7:30!" I loudly groaned. "Why do I have to get up so early?" I then tried to get back in bed but Jessie easily stopped me from doing so.
"Mom gets everyone up at 7:30 so that we can all be ready by the time we leave to go to church at 8:30." Jessie explained. "I wanted to get you up before she came to wake you."
I yawned again and stretched, trying to wake up. Then a puzzling question came to me.
"Why didn't you let me sleep until your mom came to wake me?" I groaned.
"Don't you remember?"
"Remember what?"
I had no idea what Jessie was talking about, of course my brain was still half asleep.
"The GoodNite your wearing silly!" Jessie giggled. "I don't know how you could not notice it! It so wet and bloated that my mom might notice it under your pajamas." She added.
The memory of putting the GoodNite on came back to me. The other thing that I remembered was the nightmare I had last night. The one which preceded that weird feeling that came from my groin. Instinctively I reached down to my crotch and like I did in the middle of the night, poked and probed my very bloated GoodNite through my pajama bottoms. It was now that I became aware that it was very wet. I looked down at myself and I did notice that it was very noticeable under my pajamas. The sudden realization that I once again wet myself, hit me hard. Feeling full of despair and hopelessness, I started to cry.
"What was wrong with me?! Why am I all of a sudden having all of these wetting problems?" I asked Jessie as the tears fell from my eyes.
"I really don't know Jamie. I wish I could make it all better for you. All I can say is that I know you're not doing it on purpose like my mother would believe." She reassured me. "I will promise you this; I will help you all I can." Jessie then hugged me, which help me feel a little better.
Slowly but surely, my tears came to an end. Now calm, I found myself grateful for Jessie awakening me. If she hadn't, Mrs. Jackson would have and she might have noticed the wet GoodNite.
As I started to calm down, a thought worried me. With the GoodNite so overly soaked, I was afraid it might have leaked. I turned to look at my bed and when I didn't notice anything, I reached down to make sure. The bed was completely dry. Amazingly the GoodNite worked!
I looked back at Jessie and gave her a hug. "Thanks Jessie! I don't know what I would do without you." I told her truthfully.
"No problem. Now, how about you get out of that wet thing and go take a shower." Jessie suggested.
I smiled appreciatively and without a moments more hesitation, I started to take off my pajama bottoms. But before I was able to pull them completely off, Jessie stopped me.
"Jamie, just rip the sides open." She instructed while pointing at the side of the GoodNite. "They are made to be pulled apart right there."
So I just did what Jessie suggested. I tore each side open and once it was freed from my waist, I handed the wet GoodNite to her. I then pulled my Pajama bottoms back up and watched interestedly as she rolled the GoodNite up and tied it in a tight small ball.
"Okay, you better get into the shower now." At this she pinched her nose. "You really think!" She hinted then giggled.
Now I knew that what she had said was that `I really stink', it just sounded like she said `think' because she was pinching her nose as she said it.
Still I didn't move. I found myself afraid that if Mrs. Jackson found me up, she would surely get upset with me.
Jessie, realizing why I was hesitating, smiled at me. "Don't worry, I will tell my mom that I got you and Adam up for her."
I then thanked her again and headed into the bathroom while Jessie took care of the wet GoodNite. I assumed that after she did this that she would wake her brother Adam up.
As I got beneath the warm water, I again remembered my nightmare. Specifically the very end, when the killer was crawling over my mother's dead body to reach me. At that moment of fear, I felt more than ever... All alone!