Chapter 5 -- "The First Noel"
My eyes slowly opened to realize that it was Christmas day. Like every other year before, I was awake well before the rise of the sun and well before anyone else in my house was aware the world is moving around. I was lying on my left side, with my arm wrapped underneath my head. My right arm was well under the covers, wrapped around Tony's midsection. He had a light dusting of hair that I thought was so sexy on him. Despite the cold, he insisted on sleeping shirtless, which wasn't a problem for me. I lay there watching him sleep for a few minutes; he looked as though he were sleeping peacefully. He was smiling.
I slowly pulled my hand across his chest, which woke him for a moment. "Going somewhere?" he asked.
"Yeah babe. I'm awake. I was gonna go make some cocoa. Go back to sleep."
"What time is it?"
"5:15"
"In the morning?" he asked groggily, still not opening his eyes.
"Yeah."
"Alright. I'm sleeping. Love you."
I smiled, even in his sleep he was adorable. "Love you, too," I resonded.
I pulled myself out from under the down comforter and slid it back over him. He turned onto his right side and took my pillow, holding it close to him. I quietly moved to one of the windows in my bedroom. The snow was amazing. It was untouched, white beauty that wasn't available in the South, at least not very often. The streetlights shined onto the crisp accumulation, casting shadows onto the maple trees that had long lost their leaves.
My mind wandered to thoughts of Christmas in Cuba, which didn't seem the same to me, what with the trip to the beach a small tree and fake snow that looked far out of place next to the tropical flora and fauna. Seeing my parents sad because they couldn't be with our grandparents and aunts and uncles on what they taught us the most special of days for family.
I slowly turned and walked out of the room, trying not to wake Tony as he peacefully reentered slumber. I found the banniser outside my door and used to to guide me to the living room. I lit a lamp before going to the fireplace and sparking up the Christmas fire, as had become part of my morning ritual on Christmas. I turned the lamp off and walked into the kitchen, lighted by the light of the moon and the light our neighbors had built at the back of their yard. I turned on the overhead lights and shuffled through the pantry until I found some instant cocoa. (I could, but I don't make homemade cocoa that early in the morning.)
With a fixed mug of cocoa, I walked into the living room. The wood crackled as it burned. The glowing embers seemed to paint the room in deep reds, yellows, and oranges. It was peaceful.
"Hey," my mother said as he walked up behind me and gave me a hug. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas, Mom. What are you doing up so early?"
"There was this crazy twenty-something making too much noise in the kitchen."
"Oh really. Your boyfriend showed up for Christmas?"
"That was a good one, Jacob. But no. Your father is all that I'll ever need," she said before making a tiger growl.
"Oh Mom. I don't need to know that!" I joked as she chuckled for a moment.
She walked toward the kitchen before returning to join me in the living room, with a fresh mug of coffee for her and some more cocoa for me. "Thanks..." I said as I drank the final drops from the original mug, taking the second warm, fresh mug.
"Did you sleep well?" she asked as both of us struggled to gain consciousness.
"I did. Tony is sleeping well, it seems."
"That's good. I was starting to get worried for him last week."
"He's been stressed about the whole situation with his family."
"Right. So I have a personal question for you?"
"Go ahead."
She paused for a minute, thinking of how to ask the question that was on her mind. "Were you nervous when you told us?"
Wow. How was I supposed to answer this question without hurting her feelings? Would I hurt her feelings? Did it hurt her feelings when I pulled Dad and her into the kitchen, fixed the a cup of coffee, and told them about me? "I was. I was very worried. I didn't want to let either of you down."
"Did anyone know before us?"
"Danny did."
"I see." She hung her head over the cup of coffee that she was holding. She didn't appear to be upset, just trying to process the information that she'd been given. "Did you think we wouldn't love you?"
"No. I knew that you guys would love me, no matter what, but I didn't want to see you cry."
"Uh huh," she said, looking directly at me.
"It was more that I worked myself up for a momentous reaction, and the one I got I wasn't prepared for."
She set her cup of coffee onto the coffee table and came to me. She wrapped her arms around me but didn't say much of anything. For a moment, we sat there holding me. "Siempre te voy a querer, mijo. Y si tú eres feliz, me siento la misma." (I will love you, my child. And if you are happy, then I'm happy.)
"Gracias." (Thanks.)
"Para?" (For?)
"Para todo, Mamá." (For everything, Mamá.)
"Bueno. Ahora...ayúdame con el desayuno," she said, pulling me off the sofa and into the kitchen. (Good. Now...help me with breakfast.)
For the next hour, my mom and I talked as we fixed breakfast. Ham (or Canadian Bacon as Tony calls it), bacon, eggs, biscuits (Southern-style in honor of Tony), and orange-citrus-cinnamon rolls from a can.
"Morning, Wife," my Dad said as he came into the kitchen, wearing a wife t-shirt and sweatpants. He walked to my mom and kissed her on the cheek...then the ear...then the neck. "Oh! Morning, Offspring."
"Morning, Dad," I said, blushing a little at my parents' display of affection. Despite the fact that I was embarrassed, I thought it was so cute how much they were still in love, even after all these years.
"So did you sleep well?" Dad asked as he took a piece of bacon from the plate on which they were draining.
"I did," I answered.
"Tony?"
"He was with me, of course he slept well," I said honestly.
"He seems like such a nice man, Jake."
"He really is Dad," I responded almost as quickly as he stopped talking.
"Good. So did your mother tell you what we got him for Christmas?"
"She did. He's going to love it."
"I hope so."
Morning wasn't as kind to my brother as it had been to me. He walked into the kitchen, scratching his head, which was filled with his dark hair, standing on end. He yawned deeply as he came into the kitchen with the rest of us.
"Daniel! Don't touch that bacon!"
"Yes ma'am," he answered, scowling as he walked to the kitchen table.
Before long, Jane and Jean-Marc joined us. The nice, happy, family unit was again all in the same room, for the first time since the Canada Day barbecue when Danny got so drunk that he passed out in my bedroom because he couldn't make it to his apartment. By the time the sun rose, we all were sitting there, having a good time, except for Tony. That's when I decided it was time for him to get up and join the fun.
I scaled the stairs to my room. I opened the door slowly, only to find that he was still peacefully sleeping, in the same position I'd left the room. He'd moved to the middle of the bed, though. I slowly lifted the comforter and climbed in behind him, in a spooning position. I kissed his exposed back and his neck a few times, but only softly, so as not to scare him.
"So do I pretend that I'm still sleeping?" he asked happily.
"You can if you want to, but you can't hold it against me if I get a little more frisky."
He took the hand that I'd wrapped around his waist and placed it on his growing cock. "This happens whenever you are within 3 inches of me. You must be electric or something."
"Something like that, I guess." I continued to kiss him until he turned around to face me. I looked deep into his eyes: those deep, rich, sapphires that made him stand out from everyone else in the room.
"You're supposed to be pretending like you're asleep," I instructed, smiling at him. His eyes snapped shut. He smiled. I moved in and kissed him on the lips.
"Can I wake up now?" he asked.
"Yes. I would love you to wake up....every morning next to me, that is."
"I love you, Jacob Henry."
"Y...yo...te...quiero...Antonio...Cisneros..." I said between pecks on his lips.
"What smells so good?" he said as he completely came to.
"That would be breakfast."
"I smell bacon."
"There are also Southern-style biscuits and eggs, too."
"Oh really?" he said, intrigued.
"Really..."
"After we eat, we need a shower," he said. "I mean, if I'm gonna meet your mom's family later, I want to be completely clean. I also need to shave," he added rubbing a hand against his only slightly scruffy face.
"You look so hot, though, just like that."
"I know, but hey...they might not like the overly masculine look."
"Fuck what they think."
He leaned into me, "I'd rather fuck you." He reached in and kissed me.
"Oh...Mr. Cisneros!" I kissed him back.
"Now let's go get some breakfast," he suggested, throwing the comforter from the bed. He climbed off the bed and stood there, stretching for a second, allowing me to see every muscle of his upper body. "Come on!" he said as he pulled a t-shirt over his upper body.
We walked down the stairs into the kitchen. My entire family stopped and looked at us. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"We were wondering what was taking you so long," Danny joked.
"Only you take that little time, Danny," I joked as I went to my brother's side of the table to give him a hug from behind.
"Fucker!"
"DANIEL!" Mom yelled.
"Sorry, Mom...I should have said 'ass'."
"DANIEL HENRY!"
"Ooh. Both names," my sister and I said in unison.
"MOM! They're picking on me." He looked at the two of us. "Why are y'all always picking on me?"
"Well, Danny, it used to be Jake picking on me."
"How did you get him to stop?"
"It was more Mom and Dad," she said honestly.
"How did you guys do it, Dad?" he turned to my father.
"Your mom gave birth to you!" Dad added, with a straight face, to the laughter of all of us. Mom finished the eggs and came to the table to sit with the rest of us.
"Buen apetito!" she declared, placing the platter in the center of the table.
"This is kinda like being the South," Tony chimed in a moment after we began to eat.
"How so?" Mom asked.
"Well...whenever we sit down to eat a meal, all the talking stops because we're too busy stuffing our faces," he said honestly. We laughed for a second before starting other conversations, continuing to eat our breakfast as well.
"That was so good, Mom!" Danny said as he finished the meal. The rest of us finished shortly thereafter, feeling stuffed from the large breakfast.
We cleared the table and complained about having eaten too much, even though it wasn't even lunch yet. Danny announced that he was going to his room for a little while, and with that, we also took out leave, parting from my brother as he climbed the final set of stairs to his own room.
I walked in front of him into the room. I turned when he shut the door. He walked two steps toward me and slowly pulled off his shirt, stretching his upper body muscles and showing me what I'd begun to refer to as "the luscious v" that marked his almost perfectly defined lower abs.
"Damn. I have a hot boyfriend," I said as he pulled the shirt over his head.
"Is he hotter than me?"
"Fucker..." I joked as he came over to me, enveloping me in an embrace. I wrapped my arms around his waist as he just continued to hug me.
"Jacob?"
"Yes," I said, still being held by him.
"How much do you love me?"
"More than can be described with words," I answered.
"Thank you."
"Why do you ask?"
"Because I needed to hear that you still love me."
"Still?"
"Yeah. I've come to the realization that all love in conditional, and I need to know that I still meet the conditions of your love."
I didn't respond with words, rather with actions, kissing him on the lips. "My love is for real..." I said, trying to gyrate my hips à la Paula Abdul from the mid-90s. He giggled, pulling me back into a hug.
"So let's take a shower," he suggested, quite evilly.
"I'm game," I said as he pulled my t-shirt over my head.
"You have such a good body, and a personality that makes you so damn hot, Jake."
"Yeah. I'll agree with the personality part, but I need to do some work," I comlained, tapping my tummy.
"If you want, but I think you're perfect."
"Takes one to know one, babe."
"This is true," he said, pretending to buff his fingernails and wipe them on his naked chest.
He looked at me for another moment and then leaned in and kissed me. Before we knew it, we were both naked, still standing in the middle of my bedroom. We walked toward the bathroom, where I'd taken care to hide condoms and enough lube to make the re-election of W more comfortable.
The shower, like Tony, was long and hot. We didn't have much time so it was right to business, without much foreplay, which is one of my favorite parts of the whole experience. We washed ourselves, kissed, turned the water off, kissed, dried off, kissed, pulled on our clothes, kissed, hugged once more, and kissed again. We were both relieved and relaxed, which was good, because my mom's family arrived shortly after we made our triumphant return downstairs.
Everyone hugged and greeted each other, even though it was only surface courtesy. I really couldn't stand my aunt and uncle, and their evangelical tendencies. My cousin Kate was OK, but was a slut in good-girl clothes. Pete was as queer as me and Tony, but brought his "girlfriend," Tonya, along. (Kate is Jane's age; Pete is closer to Danny's.) I wondered if she knew he liked boys.
Before long, things were as they always are. Danny brought his xbox to the living room, so that he and Pete could play in an environment that was clear from all the clutter that prevented normal people from climbing to the third floor of the house. Dad and Uncle Ernest sat in the office and discussed the merits of the Conservatives versus the Liberals. (My dad is a steadfast Liberal, Uncle Ernest isn't.) Mom and Aunt Freda were in the kitchen, while Jane, Jean-Marc, and Kate were sipping coffee at the kitchen table. Tony and I felt almost lost in the sea of people. I later found out that my aunt and uncle scared him slightly, with all their conservative, closed minded, bible-thumping mumbo jumbo. It made me glad I was Catholic in that moment, even though they're not much better.
By two in the afternoon, we were all ready to sit down and share the Christmas meal together. The other family prayed. We respected their beliefs and didn't eat until after the four minute treatise of praise. I thought it was so delicious when I was finally able to take my first bite. Everyone enjoyed the turkey breast, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and Tony's favorite, sweet potatoes. The dessert was just as scrumptious as the main dinner, and all of us ate entirely too much for our own good.
By four, we had all assembled in the living room. Dad was enjoying his brandy-induced stupor, while the rest of us sat around and laughed. Tony sat in front of me, so that I could rub his back as the family sat there, enjoying the day. Uncle Ernest didn't have much to say to either of us, since it was at that point that his own suspicisions of my sexuality were confirmed. Aunt Freda was trying to be polite to Tony, but I could tell that our happiness was getting under their skin, just a bit.
"So what do you think about the queers being allowed to destroy the Christian tradition of marriage?" my uncle asked my father, loud enough for all in the room to hear. The other conversations seemed to stop.
"I think that if two people are willing to commit themselves to each other for a lifetime, the government should recognize their union."
"I don't. It says in the bible that homosexuality is wrong," he said. "It's an abomination."
"Do you speak Hebrew?" Danny asked, butting into the conversation.
"Well no. But it says..." Danny stopped him.
"There is no word in Hebrew for abomination. David and Jonathan were lovers. It says to love thy neighbor as yourself and treat all others as Christ would treat them. Jesus doesn't hate the queers, but he doesn't like those who judge others. This conversation is over." I was impressed. He scared the pants off my uncle. Did he have a future in the Liberal Party? Perhaps it would be the NDP. Either way, my brother was a strong willed, strong mouthed individual in whom I have the greatest respect.
"But...."
"What did I just say?" he asked again. Uncle Ernest looked disgusted.
"Children should be seen an not heard," Uncle Ernest mumbled.
"Yeah...Ontario says I'm not a child, as does my father."
"But you still live here?"
"Yeah, and I pay rent," he lied.
"Oh..." Uncle Ernest gave up. The revelry of the day was renewed as my mother and aunt began talking about something. Dad fixed himself another brandy; Uncle Ernest joined him.
The rest of the evening went well. Thankfully for all of us, the Harper clan (as they're known in the privacy of our home) finally left. Tony, Danny, Jane, and I worried with cleaning as Mom put her legs up, finally able to relax after working all day.
The squeaking of breaks dropped our spirits a little, wondering if they'd returned. Mom stood up and went to the door. "Tony!" she called in a second.
"Yes ma'am," he said as he left the kitchen, headed toward the front door. He was holding a towel at one point, but dropped it when he'd realized that his Christmas present had arrived. We all walked to the entryway to see what had caused such a reaction.
The only sound was that of Tony's emotional crying as he leaned in to hug the frail Latina. Around them were two young men, also of Hispanic heritage. When Tony finally caught himself, he pulled up, wiping his eyes. My mother had also started to cry, and it looked as though the two young men were also in a very emotional state. He hugged the small of the two first in a very masculine way. The larger, taller of the two men pried them apart and hugged Tony, wrapping him into a protective grip as a single tear fell down his face and into Tony's shoulder.
"I am Berta Cisneros," the lady said to my mother as the three men came into a collective hug.
"I'm Susan Henry," my mom said, shaking the lady's hand. Berta pulled Mom into a hug and whispered something into her ear. Mom chuckled. "This is my husband, Daniel," Mom introduced.
"Mucho gusto, señora. Cómo era el vuelo?" (Nice to meet you, ma'am. How was the flight?)
"Muy largo, pero estoy feliz que esté aquí," the lady said in a very thick Cuban accent. (Very long, but I'm happy that I'm here.)
"Bueno. Me alegre que estén aquí, también." (I'm glad you all are here as well.)
The three brothers had begun to cry together, losing themselves in a bond only shared between those who truly loved each other. "And this is my son, Danny, my daughter, Jane, and her fiancé, Jean-Marc."
"It's nice to meet you all," she said, waving at us a little.
"And this is Jacob."
"Hi ma'am," I said to the lady as she walked toward me.
"Mucho gusto, Jacob," she said, pulling me into a hug. "Gracias para apoyar a mi nieto. Te quiero así." (It's nice to meet you, Jacob. Thanks for supporting my grandson. I love you for that.)
"No era problema, señora. Yo le quiero mucho, y donde estoy, él está bienvenido." (It wasn't a problem, ma'am. I love you a lot, and where I am, he is welcome.)
"Muy bien dicho," she complimented. (Very well said.)
"Jake!" Tony said, motioning me to come over to him.
"Excuse me, ma'am," I said as I walked to Tony, who was overwhelmed slightly by what was going on.
"Jake," he started. "This is Guillermo."
"Nice to meet you, Guillermo."
"You too, man," he said extending his hand, which I shook strongly.
"And this is Martín," Tony said, still crying from the sight.
"It's nice to meet you, Jake," Martín said as he reached in to hug me.
"Likewise, man."
It didn't take but a second for everyone to figure out what was going on. Tony's Christmas present from his grandmother and brothers, as well as my parents had finally arrived, and Tony was more than elated. Berta took the time to speak to my brother, sister, and future-brother-in-law as Tony introduced me to the rest of his family.
"Well you guys come into the kitchen. I'll fix some coffee and cocoa for you," my mother said, moving everyone into the kitchen.
Tony sat with his grandmother on his left, while I sat on his right. Gui sat next to Jane and Jean-Marc, while Martín and Danny got along famously, as if they'd been separated at birth. Dad and Mom served hot coffee and cocoa to all who wanted it and pulled chair in from the dining room to join us all in the kitchen. I was so happy that Tony had enjoyed his gift. We sat there talking for some time, and before long, Berta, who Tony called Nani (Nah-nee), was ready to go to a hotel down the street. Mom and Dad insisted that she stay in the spare bedroom and told me to go get it ready. She protested for a moment, but eventually caved into my mother's sparkling personality. Before long, she was off to bed. Mom and Dad were the next to part our company, but not before we informed them that we might go out later that evening.
We put on our going-out clothes and left in two vehicles for JT's. Martín had been to a gay bar before, but Gui was a little nervous. He was assured that everything would be OK, and that we wouldn't let anything or anyone happen to him. Jane and Jean-Marc took their small car, while the five of us piled into my mom's car, affectionately known as "The Granny Ride." A half hour later, we were there. As the last time we'd been there, the crowd was wrapped around the building.
"Hey Jeff," Danny said as we walked.
"Damn you brought a crowd tonight!"
"Damn right. This is my posse."
"Your posse?" Tom laughed.
"Yeah...you know...my crew."
He chuckled once more and waved us into the bar, which was full of people who'd survived their own family Christmas parties. We managed to get a table close to the back of the bar, and Dave brought the drinks around. Gui tried to pay for his, but Dave wouldn't take his money.
"It's on the house. As long as I get to look at Danny for a few minutes," he exhaled as he gazed at my brother.
"Then I should thank you," Gui said to my brother, trying to hand him the money.
"It's no problem. I'll just have to take my shirt off for him later. Right, Dave?"
"If you do that, you'll have to work the bar tonight, since I'll be passed out in the office," Dave joked with my brother. Danny flexed his pecs, which sent Dave into fits of heat. Danny loved the attention, and Dave knew it. It was a very win-win situation.
"Thanks man," Gui said to Dave as he walked away.
"Let me pay for our drinks, at least," Gui told Danny.
"No worries, man! It's covered."
"So are you gay too?" Gui asked innocently.
"Nope. I'm the sole sperm donor of the family."
"But you come to the gay bars."
"Yeah to pick up the lonely straight chicks." Gui laughed as they checked out of the hotter specimens in the room. The rest of us were truly in our own little world, enjoying the nice Christmas day celebration. For several hours, we sat at the table, enjoying each other's company. By two in the morning, we were back at the house. Quietly we scaled the stairs to our bedroom. Gui and Martín took my sister's room, since they left us at the bar to go home, and Tony and I went into my room to get ready for a nice evening's rest.
We didn't say anything as we climbed into bed, pulling the covers on top of ourselves and snuggling together. "Jake?"
"Yes?"
"You are amazing..."
I was behind him and ran my hand across his midsection, "I have inspiration." I kissed his neck.
"No. This is you. You're amazing. I will never be able to repay you and your family for all of this."
"Don't worry about it, Tony. It's all coming out of my inheritance anyway," I joked.
"Really?"
"No! When my grandparents died, they left each of us enough money to pay for school and have a little left over for setting up our lives after school. Since I had already almost finished school, I was able to put some in savings, so I'm not out anything financially, but I have gained so much by having you here and by having them here. Your brothers are as amazing as you."
"They really are. I'm glad they got Nani to come. I think this is the first time she's flown since she left Cuba."
"She seems like such an amazing woman."
"Ask her about leaving Cuba sometime."
"I will."
"She was excited when she found out we were going to go, even though we'd changed it from New Years to Spring Break."
"She asked me when we were in the kitchen to find a cousin of hers in Havana and introduce ourselves."
"That will be fun."
"Yeah."
"She told me that she thought you were amazing. When I was in the room with her before we left, she told me something that I thought was amazing, too."
"What was that?"
"She said that she talked to my parents. She told them that she didn't totally understand the whole gay lifestyle, but that they were not welcome in her house until I was welcome in theirs."
"Wow..."
"Yeah. Apparently, my parents are still pissed at my brothers for calling me."
"That sucks..."
"Yeah. Martín spent the last week with Nani."
"Oh no..."
"No worries, he likes being at Nani's more than at home anyway. He's always been that way."
"Are you guys still awake?" Gui asked as he closely opened the door.
"Yeah, bro. We're still up," Tony answered as I reached to turn on the lamp that sat on my table.
"You OK, Gui?" I asked as he came over to the bed and sat down beside us.
"Jake...Tony...I just wanted to come and apologize to you. Jake, your family has been amazing these past two weeks. I feel sorta bad that I acted stupid a couple of weeks ago, but I'm glad that I got to see my brother on Christmas day. Tony, I'm happy that you have Jake. You know. I'm kinda jealous that the two of you have each other. I wish I could find a girl that was as cool as you, Jake."
"I am a lucky man, aren't I?" Tony said as the two of them looked at me.
I grabbed my boyfriend's hand and squeezed it.
"And Tony, I am so sorry that I acted the way I did."
"It's no problem, bro. You're here now," he said, putting his free hand on his brother's shoulder.
"I love you so much, Tony."
"I love you too, Guillermito." The two brothers embraced.
"Alright. I'm gonna go to sleep now. I will see the two of you tomorrow."
"What time if your flight?" Tony asked.
"Not until tomorrow afternoon," Gui answered, walking toward the door.
"Alright. We'll hang out in the morning, then," Tony said, smiling at his brother.
"Alright. Night guys."
"Night!" we both said in tandem.
Tony sighed deeply. "This has been a truly wonderful Christmas Day," he said, looking at me. He leaned over and kissed me on the lips. Tony was back. After two weeks of him worrying, and not being himself, the Tony that I'd grown to know and love was there again.
I know that I overuse the phrase, but his kiss was electric. I know there are probably other words that would describe them, but that's the only one that comes to my mind as I think about the tingling that they make me feel across the span of my body.
As I turned off the light and turned to face him, he kissed me again. "I really do love and appreciate you more than you will ever know," he said seriously. The light from outside was just enough so that I could see the outline of his face. I could feel the sincerity in his voice as he took my hand underneath the comforter. Our foreheads touched as he both fell asleep. I wondered if this is how my parents acted as they were falling asleep. I wondered if Jane and Jean-Marc had the same feelings as they lay in their bed. Was Gui jealous of those who had someone to snuggle with every night?
As I feel into a state of unconsciousness, I thought about all the times that he and I had hung out before we made love the first time. I thought about first date. I thought about the first time we met, and how infatuated I was with him. It was nice.