All the Ways I Love You
This story is about male/male relationships and contains graphic descriptions of sex.
You should not read this story if it is in any way illegal due to your age or residence.
This is a work of pure fiction. It mixes fictional characters and events with real people. However any real person mentioned in this work is purely an actor playing a part. This story in no way is meant to imply anything about the sexuality, personality, or behavior of the actual person.
Copyright 2003 Jason Calme. This story is the sole property of its author and may not be copied in whole or in part or posted on any website without the permission of the author.
Questions and commentary can be sent to "JasonCalme@yahoo.com".
Chapter 17
It took just fifteen minutes to drive the familiar route to the school. It was a funny feeling to be driving back now, seeing all the kids coming out, and feeling like the grown up in a car. Or maybe like some alien beamed in from another planet.
I don't think I'd been back to the school since I left. Simon had started here long after I'd left home, and even though I came home to visit frequently, I'd never dropped him off or picked him up.
I slowed down as I came to the bus stop, mainly worried some kid would run out and hit the car and damage the paintwork. I wasn't worried about the kid.
I scanned the crowds for Simon, and saw him just a little past the bus stop, just as Mom had said. Simon is fairly tall and thin; a growth spurt kicked in recently, but I think he still has a way to go. He has a mop top of blond hair that has started to darken a little and is no longer as bright and white as it had been when he was a little boy. His face is fairly thin, but he has a large smile and he laughs a lot. He reminds me of Justin that way. He's pretty good looking too; of course I'm his brother so I can't really be unbiased.
He was standing with what looked like a couple of friends. I don't really know his friends now, except for one, Ben, who he's been friends with forever. Though I could only see his back, I was pretty sure the kid on the left was Ben. Simon had a backpack slung over his shoulder, and a guitar case and another bag were sitting on the ground beside him. The three boys were pointedly ignoring everything around them.
I pulled up and climbed out and was about to call out 'Hey runt!' when it occurred to me that he was at an age where I should just use that nickname in private.
"Simon!" I called.
He ignored me.
"Hey, Simon!" I called again. Jeez! Did I have to walk over and shake him?
He glanced over towards me, the picture of cool casualness. Then he saw me and almost did a double take. His face changed from cool disinterest to a huge grin, and he bounced over to me. I grabbed him in a big hug and nearly kissed him but thought better of that too. The teen years can be such a cramp in your style.
"How you doing?" I asked him.
"Awesome! What 'ya doin here?" he yelled in excitement.
"Came to visit my annoying kid brother," I teased. Okay, I couldn't keep it all peaches and cream.
He smiled and pulled away from me and I tousled his hair.
"So you want a ride?" I asked, indicating the car.
"Sweet! Is it yours?"
"Na, it's a rental," I said, trying to sound cool.
"I'll get my stuff," he said, and turned to go get it, then he stopped and turned back to me. "Hey, can we give Ben and Cam a ride?" he asked, indicating the two boys he'd left standing on the sidewalk.
I looked over at the boys. Ben was much as I remembered him. A kid of average height, he was a little overweight - but not badly so, just 'chunky.' He has a round face that seems to always have a smile on it, and he looks much like he is, a calm and friendly person. His hair is light brown, though not as light as Simons.
The other kid was more like Simons build, but he had dark hair that was cut short; not quite a buzz cut. His eyes seemed to be rather too close together and his face was set in a scowl. He was regarding me with something close to disgust. I didn't like him.
"Sure," I said to Simon.
Simon bounced back to his friends and excitedly explained that his brother would give them a ride home. Ben immediately picked up his bags and looked ready to go, but Cam just stood where he was and gave me an even colder stare.
I watched as Simon talked to him. I didn't know what he was saying, but I could guess. Ben had taken a couple of steps towards the car, then stopped and turned back to watch them. He stood there nervously, glancing at me and then back at Simon and Cam.
Cam was shaking his head, and then Simon seemed to be getting more upset. He started poking him in the chest and getting in his face, and I didn't like the way this was going.
"Hey! Simon!" I yelled.
Simon stopped and looked back at me.
"Let's go. He doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to."
Simon looked at me, and then back at Cam, then he just shrugged and walked back towards me, leaving Cam standing where he was. Ben followed Simon over to the car, glancing back at Cam a couple of times.
Simon opened the passenger door and we started throwing things in the backset; their bags, Simon's guitar case, and Ben were all stuffed in. Everything seemed to fit, though it was kind of tight, and the two boys were laughing most of the time.
I went around to the driver's side and was about to climb in when I looked up and saw Cam. He was watching us closely, and he looked a little sad. Like maybe he'd decided he'd done the wrong thing. I felt like saying 'fuck him' and leave him there. Yet he was Simon's friend. If he was uncomfortable around me, well I might not like it, but I should at least give him a second chance.
I climbed in and pulled the door shut, then looked over at Simon and Ben.
"You guys' all set?" I asked.
"Yes!" they chorused.
I looked at Simon. "Why didn't Cam want to come?"
Simon frowned at me. "He's just being a prick!"
"You want to give him one more chance?" I asked.
Simon shrugged, and then started to roll down his window.
"No Simon!" I said pushing his hand off the power window button. "Go over and ask him nicely, Kay? Just ask him if he wants to change his mind, and let him know it's okay."
Simon shrugged again. "He's not worth it!" he said a little bitterly.
"Oh, okay then, forget it," I said casually.
"Okay, okay," Simon changed his mind. "But if he says no then fuck him!"
"Simon!" I admonished him.
Simon looked at me, a little surprised. Maybe embarrassed I'd called him for bad language in front of a friend.
"The correct term is 'screw the little fucker'" I said, and I grinned at him and he and Ben laughed with me, and then he opened the door and went over to Cam.
I watched as Simon approached Cam and stopped a few feet away. He said something to Cam and Cam shrugged and the two just stood there. Simon said something else and Cam stood there, seemingly trying to decide what to do. Then he pulled his pack onto his shoulder and Simon turned and the two of them came back to the car.
I turned around and told Ben to slide over to make room for Cam.
Simon opened the door and literally shoved Cam into the back. Cam grumbled and complained a bit, but I noticed he didn't say anything to me. He didn't look at me either.
"Everyone buckled?"
"Yep!"
"Yeah!"
Silence.
"Cam? You buckled?" I repeated.
There was a bit of silence and then a grunt that sounded like 'Yeah' came from the back. Simon half turned back, but I tapped him on the shoulder.
"Then away we go," I said loudly.
I started up the car, pumped the accelerator a couple of times to make the engine rev, then threw it into gear and squealed away from the curb. We roared up to the speed limit, the acceleration pushing up back, and then I dropped my foot off the accelerator, throwing us all a little forward, coasting to the end of the street. At the intersection I was careful to come to a dead stop as quickly as possible, throwing my passengers forward again.
They laughed at being thrown around a little, and I put it in first and gunned it, throwing them backwards again ,and the three of them giggled and laughed as we turned onto the main road and I accelerated down towards the highway entrance.
"Hey," said Simon as we flew up the onramp. "Where we going?"
"Oh," I said innocently, "got to clean out the engine, just going to run it down the highway a little way."
We zipped onto the highway and I accelerated as much as I dared, considering it was possible there'd be cops in this area. We barreled along, the boys bubbling and shouting at each other about how great the car was. It's small size and closeness to the ground made it seem we were going faster than we were.
I zipped off the next exit, took a left and shot under the highway, traveling down the road for a mile before turning off into the parking lot of what used to be a large factory. Now it was deserted, but the lot was still in good condition and open.
I accelerated into the lot, yelling "Hold on!" to the boys as we headed towards the middle. I scanned the lot to make sure it was flat and in good condition. There was still water from the morning's rain, which would help things.
"Now remember boys," I said, "only do this with a professional driver on a closed course!" and I pulled up on the handbrake and spun the steering wheel hard to the right, causing the rear wheels to lock up just a little (curse ABS!) and then we were sliding and the rear end spun around and I threw it into neutral and we were facing the way we'd been going and rolled to a stop.
There was a gasp from the passengers, and then a moments silence. And then Ben exclaimed "Awesome!" and Simon turned to Ben with a big smile on his face and they high fived and then Cam high fived them as well and they were laughing and going 'Did you see that!'
"How'd you learn to do that?" Ben asked, leaning forward.
"Oh, a couple of years ago I took this advanced driving class for an article I was writing. And if any of you want to learn how to do something stupid like that, then you have to take a class like that!
"And Simon," I said turning to him, "this never happened, right?"
"Yeah!" said Simon.
"Okay," I said, "time to get you home," and I threw the car into gear and accelerated as hard as possible out of the lot, throwing them back into their seats again. They laughed all the way home, but I didn't do anything else stupid on the way back. I figured I'd done my bit to corrupt the youth.
And maybe Simon's friends would think his queer brother was cool after all. I wasn't sure if I did it for Simon or for myself.
I tried to convince myself it was for Simon.
We dropped Cam off at his place, which was about a mile away from our house. Cam got out, still not saying anything to me, but he stopped and said "Thanks man! That was cool" to Simon and I figured that was as much as I could hope for.
Simon climbed back in and we drove the two blocks to Ben's house. I noticed that Ben leaned forward and was much more friendly now that Cam had gone, asking me about the car and the driving class I'd taken. I wondered if he had been holding back just because Cam was there.
We skidded to a stop at Ben's house - I vaguely knew his folks so I wasn't too worried - and Ben thanked me for the great ride and he even held out his hand and we shook.
He high fived Simon and then ran off to his house while Simon climbed back in. I turned the car around as he buckled up.
"Hey, where you going now?" Simon asked.
"Thought we'd get some dessert" I said.
The Pie Shop is a place that sells fresh baked pies, cakes and deserts, and is about twenty minutes away. Simon seemed okay with the idea.
We drove through the countryside, not taking the highway, and Simon told me all about what he was doing in school, what the kids in his class were like and how his guitar playing was going.
"I'm getting pretty good!" he proudly told me.
"Well just keep practicing!" I reminded him.
He shot me a glance and rolled his eyes. Really, I was being silly saying that; Simon practically took his guitar with him everywhere.
"So what's Cam's problem?" I said casually.
"He's just a shit sometimes," said Simon, "forget about him."
"He a good friend of yours?" I asked.
"Uh...nah...not like Ben. Me and Ben are tight," said Simon. I was pleased to hear that. I'd much rather know Simon was hanging out with Ben.
"So why you hanging with him?" I asked. I was just curious. I wasn't trying to get him to change friends or anything.
"He plays the drums," said Simon casually.
I looked at him and he grinned at me.
"Really?"
"Yeah...he's not too bad...he's not a jerk all the time," then he added quietly, "he was attacked by a guy when he was young."
"What?" I said shocked, not sure if I had really heard what Simon had just said.
"This guy walked up to him in the toilets at the Mall and felt him up."
"Shit! Was the guy gay?" I asked. I felt terrible. My whole estimation of Cam had changed in a second.
"They never caught him," said Simon shrugging casually. He seemed to want to change the subject.
"Oh...I'm so sorry. I thought Cam was a real jerk. I didn't know about that. Now I can kind of understand why he might have..."
"Yeah," said Simon.
"You know there are sick people of both orientations. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you do that kind of shit."
"Yeah," said Simon.
"More molesters are straight than gay you know," I was on a roll. I was so upset this had happened to one of Simon's friends.
"Yeah, it's okay Ethan. I know you wouldn't do that."
I looked at him and saw he was upset.
"Shit! Sorry Simon! Didn't mean to get so upset. I'm just angry to hear that happened. And I'm angry at myself for thinking less of Cam without knowing more about him."
"It's okay," Simon shrugged, "listen you won't tell him you know or anything? He hates it when people find out about it."
"Sure. Yeah. I won't tell him."
"Kay."
We pulled into the parking lot of the pie shop, our moods kind of down. I parked the car and then looked over at Simon.
"Let's get some pie!" I said, and he smiled and we hopped out.
Simon couldn't decide between chocolate cake, apple/raspberry pie or a cheesecake. So we got all three. The ridiculous luxury of buying three desserts had us giggling as we went back out to the car, and it was the best way to blow 36 bucks. I even bought us both a chocolate chip cookie that was fresh out of the oven.
We got back in the car and I pulled back onto the road, munching on the cookie.
"Hey, Simon, I've got to tell you something."
"Yeah?"
"I brought a friend with me."
"A friend?"
"Yeah."
"What kind of friend?" he asked a little suspiciously.
"A good friend...a boyfriend...we're dating."
"Oh."
"Is that okay?"
"Yeah, sure...that's okay," he said noncommittally.
I wondered if he really was okay with it. The only other boyfriend he'd met was Bill. I had been dating Bill around the time I finally told Simon that I was gay, and then the trip after that Bill came up with me. Simon said absolutely nothing to Bill the entire time he was there. Simon could deal with me, but not with my boyfriend. The next time Bill came up Simon was at least civil, but he tended to stay away from us.
Then Bill and I broke up. Simon seemed rather happy about it. I hoped he wasn't going to get all distant again.
"You sure punk?" I asked, putting my hand out and messing with his hair.
Simon zigged and zagged away from me.
"Yeah, I'm okay with it," he laughed.
"I want you to be...I know it was hard for you with Bill. If there's something I can do to make it easier for you. I know it's hard."
"It's fine," said Simon sitting there and looking out the window. We drove on in silence for a moment or two, and then Simon said rather quietly, "I just didn't like him."
"I know," I said quietly.
"You do?"
"Well you never spoke to him and you stayed clear of us when we were here. It was pretty clear you hated one of us, and I hoped it wasn't me!"
Simon turned and smiled nervously.
"Sorry," he said.
"Sorry?"
"Mom said I was being selfish. That I was worried about losing you."
"Were you?" I asked.
He shrugged.
"Hey, you're not going to lose me, okay? I'm always going to be here for you. You're always going to be my little runt brother!" and I poked him and he giggled.
"Okay?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said quietly.
"Okay!" I yelled.
"Yes!" he shouted back.
I held up my hand for five and he slapped it hard, laughing.
"Hey," I said, "I was talking to Mom and she said she thought you might be old enough to come down on the train on your own some time to stay with me.
Simon looked at me, his eyes wide.
"Really?"
"Yeah. So we were thinking maybe over Christmas vacation you could come down and spend some time with me. Would you like to do that?"
"Yeah! That'd be awesome. Really? I could come?"
"Sure," I said. "We'll figure out the details. It's still a ways away and we might have to move it around, but we'll do it, even if it's just a long weekend thing. Okay?"
"Yeah! Thanks Ethan!" he sat there smiling. Was I bribing him? No, I just liked to see him happy. It was a good thing I didn't live closer or I would spoil him totally rotten.
"So," I said, "I have to ask you to promise me something."
Simon looked up, the smile frozen.
"What?"
"It's about the boyfriend."
"Oh, yeah, right," Simon had completely forgotten the boyfriend in the excitement.
"So the thing is, he's...well you know what being in the closet means?"
"No one knows he's queer?" he said casually.
"Yeah...I prefer gay."
"Gay, sorry."
"So no one knows he's gay and they can't find out. So you can't tell anyone about him or anything. If you have to, you can say he's a friend of mine and I worked on a project with him, but that's it. Can you promise to keep his secret?"
"Yeah, sure," Simon shrugged.
"Thanks Simon. I think you'll understand when you meet him."
"Is he like a Scout Master or something?" Simon asked.
"No!" I laughed.
"He's in the military?"
"No Simon, you're way off!" I was so tempted to make him guess, but I'd already done that, and besides we were getting close to home. "Simon, he's kind of famous."
"Yeah?"
"You heard of NSYNC?"
"NSYNC?" Simon gasped.
I guess dating someone in NSYNC wasn't so bad after all. I'd kind of thought teenage boys wouldn't have liked them.
"Yeah," I said.
"Is it Lance?"
"No!" I laughed. I had to tell Justin that everyone was guessing Lance as the one.
"So who?"
"Justin," I said and grinned at him.
"Justin Timberlake? Wow!"
"So that's okay?" I asked him. We were pulling up to the house.
"Yeah! Sure! NSYNC sucks but he's not too bad," Simon said, kind of taking the wind out of my sails.
We climbed out and I grabbed the desserts while Simon gathered together his guitar and bag. Walking to the front door I noticed that Simon was hanging back behind me. I stopped at the door and had him open it for me. He didn't go in first, instead stepping back for me. He wasn't usually that polite.
I walked in and went to the kitchen, putting the boxes down onto the counter. I turned around and saw Simon following way behind me, eyes wide, scanning from side to side. He looked a little scared.
"Hey," I said to him and he looked at me. I waved for him to come over to me and he stepped up and I pulled him into a hug. "It's okay, he won't bite," I whispered.
Simon grinned at me nervously and I squeezed him a couple of times, and then turned around myself, wondering where Justin was.
"Mom!" I yelled.
"We're in the family room!" I heard my Mom call.
"Come on," I said to Simon, and with my arm still around his shoulders we walked down the hall and down the steps to the family room.
The family room had been added to the house after it was built, and was attached via a small hallway off the living room. It's a nice comfortable room that the family tends to hang out in and watch TV in. The living room is smaller and warmer, so it's used more often for formal events and during the winter. There are chairs and a television in the family room, and a table tennis table folded up in one corner. There's also a large stone fireplace at the far end of the room.
The room also has large picture windows, and it was in front of one of those that we found Mom and Justin. Justin was up a ladder, holding a curtain rod and mostly obscured by the curtains. All you could really see were his legs. Mom was standing at the bottom of the ladder looking up at him and giving him directions.
"How's it going?" I asked.
"It's stuck!" said Justin from under the curtains.
Mom looked at Simon and me with a smile. "Just a small problem," she said. She came over and gave Simon a quick hug and kiss and asked him how the school trip had gone. I'd completely forgotten to ask about that.
I walked over to the ladder and looked up under the curtains at Justin. He looked down at me with a face that said 'this is frustrating the hell out of me,' and I laughed.
"Having problems?" I asked.
"Yeah, I can't get this fu...damn thing to go in," he said to me, waving the end of the curtain rod.
I climbed up the other side of the ladder. You weren't really supposed to do that, but we weren't very high up. I got up to him and he looked really frustrated.
"Take a moment and let me look," I said to Justin.
"I thought I could get this, but it just doesn't work," he hissed.
I looked at it, and where it was supposed to go.
"Show me how it goes," I said.
Justin took the rod and pushed it over to the place on the wall. I looked at it, and how they had the other end already in place at the other end of the window.
"I'll get a chair and work the other end. Stay here," I said, and climbed down.
Simon and Mom were watching us intently.
"Hey Simon," I called, "go get us that step stool from the kitchen will ya?"
"Sure."
He ran off and came back a minute later with the chair. I went to the other end and climbed up on the stool, reaching up for the rod.
"Okay Justin, try it now," I said, pulling the rod slightly up and out. I heard Justin grunt and then a click and the rod jerked a little bit.
There was a moment's silence and then Justin said, "Got it."
We both climbed down and stepped back to check out our handy work. The curtains seemed to be hanging correctly now.
"You did it!" Mom said coming over and hugging Justin and then giving me a hug as well. "I knew you'd get it!" she said.
"Well he figured it out," said Justin, still a little annoyed about the whole thing.
Mom patted his back, "No, you did it. Thank you," and he turned and gave her a little smile and she hugged him again and he laughed.
"I just did a little at the end, looks like you did most of it," I said turning and looking at the rest of the room. He and Mom had done the entire room.
"Justin's a really hard worker," Mom said smiling at him. "I thought we'd have most of it still to do when you got home but it's all done."
Justin was smiling widely now, happy that Mom was pleased with what he'd done.
"Good job my friend," I said, holding out my hand for a high five. He slapped it good naturedly, getting himself back into a good mood.
"Hey," I said, noticing Simon bouncing from foot to foot nervously in the background, "you've got to meet my kid brother."
Justin turned around to face Simon and Simon's face went pale and his eyes grew to the size of saucers.
"Hey Simon," said Justin, his voice loud and excited. He walked up to him and held out his hand. "I'm Justin. It's great to meet you. Ethan's told me so much about you, Man!"
Simon's mouth fell open, but he held out his hand and Justin shook it, then Justin pulled him into a hug, rocking him back and forth while Simon gave us this 'Oh My God!' look. Simon didn't say anything. He just stood there.
"So Ethan say's you play guitar, that true?" Justin asked, letting Simon go and pulling back a little from him.
"Ye...ye...yeah!" Simon stammered.
"Dude, that's cool. You're gonna have to show me your stuff."
"Uh...uh...I'm not very good," Simon said, the complete opposite of his reaction when he'd told me how he'd been doing. I was getting a bit of a kick out of seeing just how blown out of his mind Simon was by the experience. I almost thought he was going to wet himself, and I probably would have watched this torture go on for some time if I hadn't caught my Mothers eye. She was giving me a 'go rescue your brother' look and I reluctantly went over to them.
"Hey guys," I said to Justin and Simon. Justin turned to face me but Simon just stood where he was. "How about we go up and get a drink and a snack. We can talk some more up there. You guys hungry?"
"Yeah," said Justin.
"Great," I said, putting an arm around Simon.
I waved Justin ahead of us, then I half dragged Simon back to the kitchen. When we got there I pushed Simon into a chair and sat down next to him.
He was sitting in a daze. Justin went over and grabbed three cans of soda out of the fridge and put them down in front of us, then went and got some cookies out of a bag in the cupboard. He seemed to have settled in pretty well while I wasn't looking.
Justin came back and sat down on the other side of Simon. I talked to Justin a bit about the curtain hanging and also about picking up Simon. I don't know why but I told him about Cam too, making Justin promise not to say anything if he should meet him. Simon was starting to get more comfortable and even interjected a few comments here and there.
"So Justin," I said casually. "Do you know the best thing about kid brothers?"
"I've got two of my own, you know," he said grinning.
"Yeah, well have you tried this?" and I grabbed Simon in a headlock and started giving him a power noogie; rubbing his head furiously with the knuckles of my free hand.
Simon squirmed and struggled and I stopped but kept him in a headlock.
"That looks like fun!" said Justin.
"You want to practice?" I said.
"Sure."
"Here you go," I said, walking Simon over and holding him while Justin took him in a headlock.
"Hey!" yelled Simon.
But Justin had him and started rubbing his head as he squealed.
"What's going on in here?" my Mother asked sternly, and Justin hurriedly let go of Simon.
"Ethan," my Mother said with her hands on her hips, though I could tell she was just play acting, "Simons not a toy."
"Sorry Mom," I said.
Simon was breathing heavily, but smiling. He'd just been noogied by Justin Timberlake. Could that be bad?
"Now get out of here while I make dinner you three."
"Okay," I said. We turned and headed out of the kitchen. Justin was in front of me, and Simon beside me. I whispered loudly to Simon.
"Simon! Let's get Justin!"
Justin turned and went "No you don't!" but we advanced on him and he turned and fled, with Simon and I in hot pursuit. We chased him upstairs and cornered him in Annie's bedroom. He might have got away but Simon made an incredible tackle over the bed and brought him down. I piled on and the three of us rolled around the room laughing and struggling.
Then Justin begged Simon to join him in an alliance against me! And the little bastard turned on me! Me! His own brother! He'd pay for that later. I took off, but they finally caught me in the den. They held me down and were tickling me like mad and I nearly wet myself. It could have gotten nasty if Mom hadn't appeared to tell us we had to stop and get washed up for dinner.
A temporary truce was called. Unfortunately for them, I didn't sign the surrender terms.
I got them back at dinner. I sprayed them both with whipped cream.
--- To be continued...