I ended up taking Shelly to Romano's, where I guess as an act of penance, I ate fruit on pizza for the first time in my life. Actually, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Shelly didn't feel much like talking though, and as soon as we were finished she said she wanted to walk back to her apartment alone. Before she left, I told her I would try to work out a deal with my roommate to borrow his car again tomorrow night. She made me promise to give her at least six hours notice to get ready. Six hours! How could anyone ever need six hours to get dressed for dinner?
I was still sitting at the table, brooding over how things had gone that evening when Elijah pulled up a chair. Taking a bite out of the slice of pizza he was carrying, he sat down.
"Hey, Phil, how's it goin'?"
I just shook my head. "Women," I muttered. "Everyone tells me how moody they are. I guess I found out what they meant by that tonight."
"Not putting out?" he asked matter of factly.
"Huh? We... we don't do that."
Elijah raised his eyebrows like he was impressed. His smile began to soften my mood.
"Women are the downfall of every good man. They say you can't live with em, and you can't live without em."
"You speaking from experience?" I asked, hoping to find out he was. That would pretty much prove in my mind that what he whispered in my ear during our first tennis lesson wasn't what I thought it was. ...and that would help a lot to further quash any feelings for him I might encounter in the future.
"Nah. There are exceptions to every rule. I'm kind of an exceptional guy, don't you think? I can live without `em."
I wished he hadn't said that, but I was feeling a bit more confident around him because of what I was planning to ask Shelly in the near future. Even though Elijah had thrown his fishing line into the waters again, I wasn't really feeling the urge to nibble on the bait.
"Wish I could," I lamented wistfully.
"I saw that girl leaving a little while ago. Is she your girlfriend?"
"I think so. That's the real problem with girls, though, one minute you think you've got a plan, and the next minute it's out the window."
"Ouch! Sounds like how my sister plays with her boyfriends. I guess someday she'll give up her games and settle for someone who's good enough to suit mama. Poor sucker that gets to be the lucky one. I guess I'll have to hang around him so he'll have a shoulder to cry on when she gets in a mood."
His ear to ear grin brought a smile to my face for the first time since Shelly and I had pulled into the Mount Nittany Inn parking lot.
"You gonna hit any parties tonight?" Elijah asked easily.
"I'm not really a partier."
"I'm not either, but why don't we check out a few just for laughs – see what some of the fools do when they get themselves wasted?"
`
Friday, November 7 (I'm writing this on the 8th)
Dear journal,
Thoughts about today: I drank too much with Elijah last night. I could tell, because at one point, I started undressing him in my mind, and wondering what it would be like to God, I am so not going there again. Thank you, Jesus, for at least keeping him from hitting on me, because if he had, I think I might have done something really bad with him.
My date with Shelly sucked. I don't even feel like asking Andrew if I can borrow his car again after the way she acted last night. She sure wrecked my evening after getting mom's letter. Why'd she have to have a cow over me not telling her to dress up? I should have just told her to wait in the car while I went in and ate. Eating pizza sucks when you're mouth's watering for steak.
Honesty time: Elijah's pretty cool. I don't know why I was so hung up over staying away from him. I think we could become pretty good friends – as long as we're not drinking. At least then I'd have someone to tell about my frustrations when Shelly's in a mood. He seemed to understand all about that when I unloaded on him. Maybe he can tutor me on the art of not letting a woman knock me down without her throwing a punch. I can see I'm going to need to learn the art of verbal self-defense with Shelly.
What I learned: I'm pretty sure some of the things Elijah said last night confirms that fact that he's gay. At least it sure seemed like he was hitting on me at Romano's. I've got to say no if he asks me to go partying again so I don't end up doing something that would totally wreck everything.
`
"Andrew," I whispered jostling the lifeless form in the other bed of our room. "Hey, man, wake up, I gotta ask you something."
"Huh? Wassup? Phil? God, don't tell me you smacked up the Beamer."
"No, nothin' like that. But I got another favor to ask."
"Can't it wait `til morning?"
"Come on, man, it's like almost twelve-thirty in the afternoon and I gotta give my girlfriend six hours notice if it's a yes."
"Man, you got to slow down. I'm not catchin' half of what you're sayin'."
"Look," I said as slowly and plainly as I could. "Yesterday, I messed up. I wanted to surprise Shelly by taking her to Mount Nittany Inn."
"...and?"
"...and I wanted to surprise her, so I didn't mention to her she should dress up."
"Seriously? You don't know much about women, do you? You never forget something like that. That what you woke me up to tell me? God my head hurts."
"Actually, I need to borrow your car again tonight, and I have to find out early enough so she has enough time to get ready. Look, I'll find someplace else to sleep all month to pay you back. It's important."
"No shit? You must be hard up. I don't think I can find a whole month's worth of girls to spend the night, but if it's that important to you, then go ahead."
"Thanks. ...I think."
"Look, you want me to find a place to crash tonight? I mean if your dropping that much change, she's gonna be expecting it."
"What?"
"You are planning to get something from her for you troubles aren't you?"
"I hope so," I answered thinking about how I was going to ask her to come home with me for Christmas. It was his "knowing" smile that made what he had said actually sink in. "...not what you're thinking, though. We're waiting for marriage."
"You're waiting for marriage for what?"
"You know. We're like saving ourselves for each other until we get married."
"I didn't know you were getting married. When?"
"I didn't exactly ask her yet."
"So how do you know she's ever gonna pay you back if she hasn't agreed to marry you?"
"I'm just trusting things'll work out."
Andrew rolled over, and sat up rubbing his head.
"Listen to the voice of experience, bud. When you take a girl someplace special, she knows before she gets in the car what the price of dinner is. She wouldn't have said yes if she wasn't expecting to have to give up a little something to pay you back for it."
"Thanks, but I don't think she's like that."
"Whatever."
I was still a little ticked at Shelly, but I put on my happy face and made the phone call. She had the nerve to tell me I had been down to my last minute. I thought taking her out to someplace special was going to be the magic moment that would springboard us into the future – together. Instead, it was turning out to be so much of a pain, I questioned my sanity for even wanting to invite her home for the holidays, let alone the fact that I was still planning to ask her to marry me.
I settled into the student lounge to watch the Penn State, Purdue football game on TV. The room was full of raucous guys, but I was feeling a bit alone. What was Shelly doing to herself that would take so long to finish. I wondered if I'd even recognize her when she stepped out onto the porch in front of her apartment. Six hours!
I found myself shaking my head at the thought of it.
Why couldn't she have just changed her clothes last night while I waited in the car? Why was I even obsessing over it?
I began to think about what Elijah had said last night about women. Maybe he had had an experience like this that totally turned him off to girls in general. He's always so positive about everything when we're on the tennis court. Then I saw a shampoo ad on the TV and got to thinking about Elijah's hair. I'd love to run my fingers through hair like that. I wonder what Shelly would look like with dark curls. His eyes are so much deeper green than Shelly's. I wonder if he wears colored contacts?
The credits were now rolling across the screen, and I realized I didn't even know who won the game. My thoughts had continuously oscillated between the injustice Shelly had dished my way, the empathy Elijah had shown to me in its wake, and now... God, not again. I mumbled to myself as I realized I would embarrass myself if I stood up just then.
I waited until exactly five o'clock to head for the shower. I stood leisurely under the spray for what seemed to be a long time, dried off, shaved, brushed my teeth, went back to my room, looked through my dresser, and got dressed. Five thirty-two.
"Just let it go, Phil," I chided myself. But still, six hours is a long time to take to do anything.
At six-thirty on the dot, I rang Shelly to let her know I was downstairs.
"Hey," I chirruped into my cell phone.
"Hey, Sweets, I'm almost ready. Give me five more minutes, okay?"
"No problem, Tootsie."
Five more minutes! How could she possibly need five more minutes? Un-freakin-believable! At least she sounded excited.
My chin hit my chest when she stepped onto the porch wearing a pair of jeans! I kid you not, after all she put me through she chose to wear jeans tonight. They were new looking designer jeans, but still.
"Whoa," I said through my forced smile, "you look great. You dyed your hair." I leaned forward for a kiss. She hesitated slightly, checking to make sure my teeth weren't going to attack her lip again.
"You look nice too, Carrots. The blue in your shirt really brings out the color of your eyes."
"I don't really like when people call me that," I informed her for the umpteenth time. "I guess I kind of got teased a lot when I was a kid."
"You're a wuss," she said as she took my hand and led me to where she hoped the Beamer was parked, "...but a cute wuss."
"I can't believe your roommate allows just anyone drive his car."
"I'm hurt," I feigned, grabbing my chest, and making like I was going to hit the ground. "I'm a `just anyone' in the eyes of Michelle Dade. I can't go on living."
She stood there and laughed at my performance.
"Bravo," she clapped. "An Oscar performance if ever there was one." Then she stood by the car door and waited.
I smiled and pulled the door open for her, bowing slightly as she entered my carriage to begin our evening.
Her shy "thank you" made me forget completely, the disappointment of last night. I wasn't going to need Elijah's shoulder to cry on tonight!