Hi guys (and girls, yes I got some respond of girls aswell :) ) thanks for all those nice emails you have written so far. Just let the mails keep on coming :) Okay some real important notes: When I wrote this part it got longer than expected and I have splitted it into two, this one and part IV. As usual, if you are offended by men having feelings for other men and loving each other (spiritually, physically, mentally, ...) then leave aswell. (Which homophobic guy would read this story anyhow?) And my last note: Narration is 1st person (Kaneda) and 3rd person (Daniel, Kevin, Georg, Jens, ...) But now, enough of that - have fun reading it!
Alone Among Friends, Part III
Georg and I were sitting in the library, with a pile of books in front of our heads. We were trying to learn that maths stuff but it was harder than expected and from time to time I asked myself why I ever chose to study CS. "Let's have a break," Georg said. "Yeah, this crap is unbelievable - for hours we're sitting here and I don't get anything into my head," I replied. We went out of the lib and headed towards a spot which was actually not crowded by students at all. It was a little forest, or park I had not noticed earlier, but at the moment I didn't care at all about it and Georg and I straightly went there. Georg was walking pretty fast and I had a hard time to keep the pace up, so as we were in that park or whatever it was, I grabbed Georg's right hand with my left hand, holding it. There wasn't any meaning behind it but I noticed how good it felt so I kept on holding his hand. He turned his head around, slowing his pace down a bit and giving me a light smile. It seemed that he didn't mind me holding his hand at all, so I got a bit bolder and pressed or rather squeezed his hand softly. His hand was warm, soft and hard at the same time and I liked every second holding his hand. Georg started to return my doings and he kept on babbling about something completely unimportant to what I was not paying much attention, but I could see a huge smile on his face. Now I knew that he was like me and while I was being the happiest guy in this world my right arm started to itch like mad. The world started to dissolve around me and I winced in pain. I noticed that I was in my bed and had twisted my arm pretty badly while I was asleep. "Argh! Just a freakin' dream!" I yelled and buried my head into my pillow. It was about 10 AM and I was having morning wood. The need to piss overwhelmed me so I went to the loo and p-ed for what seemed like an hour - I didn't know that I had drunk that much last night, but obviously I had. I was smiling the whole time, thinking about that dream and trying to keep everything about it in mind, so it would not simply dissolve into nothingness. Georg was looking cute as ever in my dreams, damn this hunk was so sexy. Sometimes I thought that just looking at him in his full glory, and doing absolutely nothing, enjoying his looks would suffice me. It was a morning like most were in this time of the year. The clouds were hanging pretty low and looking out of the window I could only see a melange of gray buildings and streets which were garnished from time to time by green/brown spots. Cars looking like bugs were trying to find their ways through the streets while people were busy doing the things they were supposed to do - or rather not, like the one guy who was throwing all the contents of the paper-recycling-bin onto the streets. I wondered what he was looking for. My stomach clearly informed me to stop wondering about others and start to care about my dropping blood sugar level. I went to the little kitchen and grabbed the package of cereals I had there. I wasn't the kind of guy who would start making a big breakfast. Cereal (Kellogg's being my favorite brand, a leftover of my childhood), with a glass of orange juice was enough to please me. It was Saturday and Daniel was supposed to return at some time of the day but at the moment my thoughts returned to Georg and I was wondering how he would look like sleeping. I thought that he must be looking really cute, with an all peaceful face there sleeping like a baby. Of course I had never seen him sleeping but that's how I imagined he would look like. I liked the thought. I finished breakfast, had a shower and was standing naked in my room wondering which clothes I would wear. I decided to wear my favorite stuff, which were pretty comfortable but already old. Those clothes were my favorite, and my mom had urged me to throw that sweatshirt away, but I never did. It wasn't as old as she said ("Must be already 5 years old!") but old - but what the .., some stuff you like and just keep it. Even if it's rugged out. I decided to visit Georg, it was already 11.30 now and I thought that he must be awake - and if he wasn't, I would see him in his pyjamas, shorts, or whatever he would be wearing to sleep - or did he sleep naked? I grinned at that thought and shut the door to my apartment. It was pretty cold outside and I started to regret that I didn't go out with the jacket (for a 1 minute walk, 'pathetic wimp' was what came into my mind immediately). The second I wanted to press the button for Georg's doorbell, some student opened the door and I slipped in. This time I noticed that the elevator in the building was even shabbier than the one in ours. Lots of crappy slogans, jokes and tags. The 'taggers' I couldn't stand since they would smear their lame tag everywhere but it wouldn't look good. They'd call themselves 'sprayers' but I assumed that most of them never made a graffiti. Come on, the taggers never had any style! I respected the guys who showed their skills when spraying if you get what I mean. Not just tags, but spraying onto walls making all those nice graffitis (well not everyone was great at it, but some of them were real stunning). Whatever. I read one of the slogans on the wall of the elevator and it went something like this: 'i was waiting here for the fucking lift to open up, but the only thing which opened up was the pussy in front of me'. I thought about it for a split second and sighed. The elevator opened it's doors and I went to Georg's Apartment. I knocked two times and waited. "Come in, it's open" Georg said trough the door. I opened the door and stepped in. He was sitting on his bed with the computer playing his MP3s. "Hey man", I said "Hey Kaneda, just woke up," he said smiling. I just noticed that he was still wearing the stuff he had on yesterday, actually earlier today in the club. I noticed something else to my delight: He was having a hard one in his pants and that fabric bend pretty much. I tried to digress myself so the first thing was that I started to look somewhere else and to evade getting an erection myself I thought about naked women. That was enough to turn me off. "Yeah I know, I was too drowsy to change, so I slept in that stuff." "Noticed that," I said and started to make some fast shadow-boxing moves, halted and then added, "so Mr.Handsome, sighted anything yesterday?" I grinned at him wondering really if there was a girl (probably a guy?) he had seen. "Oh-ho. Wow, nice moves Kaneda!" "Don't digress, so was there anything?" "Yeah, sort of, but hadn't the guts to do anything. What about you?" I started to smile and said, "Well nobody." "No no Mr. Jackie Chan, I don't believe you, there was somebody, wasn't there? Your smile suggests that there was somebody," he said smiling. "Na, seriously Georg there wasn't - I was just trying to make you curious and it worked." We continued to chat about trivial things while he went to the bathroom and had a shower (I wished I was with him in the shower), changed (not in front of me unfortunately) and made himself breakfast (I would have liked to make ourselves breakfast). After some time I decided to go back home and search the web for some new MP3s for Georg told me that he had found lots of good sites with many different music styles. While I was sitting in front of my PC surfing the web for MP3s somebody knocked my door. "Door is open!" I shouted. Daniel went in looking as cool as ever. "Hey guy, how do you do, everything fine? I bet you guys missed me!" he said with a laugh. "Of course Daniel, I couldn't sleep every night and wished you were here with me in my bed," I said sarcastically. "Yeah man, that's my Kaneda. So how you been dude?" "Quite fine, it was really a bit boring without you, good to have you back!" "Man, you know, the world stops turning without me. What about it? I don't wanna think about uni yet, so let's play some Ridge Racer?" Daniel said, with his big wide eyes and of course I was unable to refuse the request of this cute guy. Man, I only had cute guys around me! "Yeah, why not?" We both sat on the bed, playing the game like we had done so often now, but this time it would be very different which I was about to find out pretty soon. Daniel just had managed to be in the lead when he suddenly drove the car against the wall. I was baffled since this wasn't a turn which was too hard and he seldomly made mistakes, moreover such a mistake was pathetic for his skills. He just drove straight into the boundary of the course. "Come on leave this shit, you don't need to let me win," I said a bit turned off. I noticed that he was not behind me at all in the game, so I looked away from the TV and turned my head around, looking at him. Daniel was staring at me. He was holding the controller lightly in his hands and his gaze was totally distracting. "Daniel?" I said. What was going to happen I didn't expect, I could not expect and actually had not hoped for it to happen this way but I knew it would change the relationship between us completely. He grabbed my head with both his hands and he kissed me on my lips. Being totally confused and still in 'stealth-mode' I could hardly find the words, but the ones I found, couldn't have been wronger at that time. "What the fu..?" I heard myself saying. It was as if I was looking at both of us from outside of my body. Daniel was stunned. He was in a stun already before I had said these words. Suddenly tears started to drop from his eyes and he started crying. "What the fuck have I done? I am fucked up, excuse me Kaneda, I am a completely fucked up moron," he said. "No, don't say that," I said and tried to comfort him by trying to hold him but he backed away. "Leave me alone. I..ah.. I don't want this! I don't know this!! This is not me!" he kept on yelling. 'Oh jeesus' I thought, what's with this guy? First he kisses me and now he starts yelling and playing all mad? "It's okay Daniel, don't worry about it, I am also ..., " "Shut the fuck up, nothing is okay! You get it? Nothing is okay! Just leave me alone, and.. and I don't want to talk about it!" He stood up, rushed to the door and slammed it close behind himself. I could not believe what just had happened. He had kissed me, a good friend of mine, this cute guy had kissed me! But I didn't know what to think about it, I didn't have any clue what had happened. The telephone rang. "Uh, hello?" "Hey jerk, it's me Kevin" "Hi Kevin." "You won't believe it: You talked about that moving together shit yesterday right?" "Yeah..?", I said, still completely absent and thinking about what had happened some minutes ago. "Well a friend of mine has a flat close here. It has 3 bedrooms and everything is pretty awesome. He and the bunch of friends are moving out for different reasons and he is looking for people to move in, else he'll have to pay the rent for the 3 remaining months. So what about it? It's -the- opportunity, and it's even cheap!" "..." "Earth contacting Kaneda - sending on all hailing frequencies: YOU THERE??" he yelled into the phone sounding amused. "Uh, yeah, I am with it, count on me" "Fine! Then you're the 4th, Georg and Daniel have already agreed. I will ask Jens and Yilmaz if they wanna join too, 2 people in each bedroom I would say." "Sounds great to me" "Okay, see you soon jerk," he said and hung up the phone. Daniel already had said yes? I assumed that Kevin must have called him before this here had happened.
Daniel was sitting in his room and feeling numb. He didn't and could not accept what he had done. His feelings, this 'dreadful' feelings had overcome him again. He had done the unthinkable. Something which was so wrong, which was forbidden, which was condemned by everything he had heard and believed in had overcome him. He had sworn to himself that these feelings he had, would never take control over him, for he was not gay, no not him, Daniel-the-jock, couldn't be gay. He was a good kid, he believed in god, in the words of his parents. He could not be gay. His parents had warned him once about the 'bad guys' who would try to seduce him when he was a kid. He never knew that he was changing into such a 'bad guy' but he was absolutely positive that he wouldn't let this happen. Daniel bend and crouched on his bed, trying to become as small as possible. He rested his head on his knees and tried to ignore the thoughts which were in his mind. He had sex with women so often and it worked well for him he thought. But why did he still have feelings, sexual feelings when he saw good looking men. What was so fascinating about Kaneda? He was a guy damnit! He wasn't supposed to be fascinated about a guy he thought. Couldn't he get his brain to work this way? Daniel strongly believed that he could control his desires, but this failure 5 minutes ago pained and frightened him so much, it frightened him to death. He didn't want to be gay. Gay! This word! Even this word was worrying. He didn't want people to point there fingers on him and say, "Hey look at him! He's a bloody fag, a cock-sucker, a queen, he will burn in hell!". He was Daniel, he never did something wrong (okay, he broke some girls hearts at some time, and killed a cat which was an accident), deep inside, subconsciously he knew that all his problem came from society and it's pressures on him. It's non-tolerance towards gays. But Daniel being tough outside, was fragile inside. He could not bear it, he wanted to be popular, and being gay contradicted his idea of being popular. It was no solution for him to be outed, but he had made a big mistake this time. He kissed the guy on the lips. This wasn't interpretable in any other way than him having a crush on him or being gay. Daniel felt so low and if he had only wish in this second, he would have wished for his own death. He hoped that Kaneda wouldn't tell anybody. He expected him not to speak about it. Daniel was getting crazy. He wanted to tell Kaneda not to speak about what happened with anybody but the same time he didn't even want to bring this issue up with Kaneda, he didn't feel like speaking at all. But one thing he knew, Kaneda would look differently at him from now on and it wouldn't be the same with him anymore. Daniel sat on his bed, feeling alone as he had never felt before and sobbed silently.
I was so confused I didn't know what to do. I thought that I had to speak with Daniel about what just had happened, and probably I could help him by saying that I was gay? But did he want to hear that when he reacted that strangely? I was going nuts, I was going nuts for sure! I decided to speak with him about it. I stood up and went out of my room, leaving the door open. I took a deep breath before I knocked his door. "Daniel?" No response. "Are you in there?" I tried to open the door but it was locked. "Daniel.. if you are in there, let me in, I want to talk with you about it." "Shut up Kaneda, and go away, just leave me alone," I heard him saying with a croaky voice. I sighed and went back to my room. I actually could not sit there and do nothing. I was not in the mood to play music or do anything else while Daniel was sitting over there, feeling bad about something which was natural. I didn't know if he realized that it was emotionally overwhelming for me what he did, and in contrast to him, I needed to speak about it. But with whom? Going over to the table where the phone was, I dialed Georg's number. "Georg? Would you mind me coming over to your place?" I asked him. "Nopes, come over anytime," he said, and I hung up the phone and went over to his place. On the way to his place I decided not to speak about it, cause that would reveal the nature of Daniel to Georg and I didn't want to be a gossiping bastard. When I stepped in, he immediately noticed that something was not right. "Everything okay with you Kaneda?" "Yeah sure, Georg. Why are you asking?" "Well I can see it in your face man, something is wrong.", he said softly. "Nothing is wrong Georg. I just started to feel bored over there." "Okay okay, I won't poke around anymore. So what are we going to do?" "Dunno, you suggest something Georg." "Let me think," Georg said and I could see how a his face got all clouded by the thoughts he was having. His face looked so cute and innocent right now, sitting there on his bed, and thinking what we would do. If I hadn't felt as crappy as I did, I would have had some real good suggestions on what to do. But I was not in the mood. I took a look at Georg's room and noticed that I hadn't seen it properly yet. What I could definitely say about Georg was that he was a sports-maniac. Not meant negatively though. He seemed to love his sports (and that was basketball) and had many posters of NBA-Players hanging on his wall. The only guy I knew was Michael Jordan, the rest of the guys were absolutely unknown to me. Okay, I knew Kobe Briant and Dennis Rodman - a complete idiot in my eyes. Georg had a PC with a TV Tuner card, so he would use the monitor for watching TV the same time. Nice stuff, I could have saved some money if I had the idea earlier... but then I also had Playstation which needed a TV. His room didn't make the impression that he was messy but neither it looked like a show-case. The clothes he wore yesterday night were still on the chair. I noticed that he was wearing CK-underwear and tried to imagine how he would look like with only them on. "I have an idea," he said drawing me out of my daydreams. "Shoot!" "You actually made the impression yesterday that you didn't want to go the club but to the movies, right? So my suggestion is, to go to the flicks." "Yeah, that's right. And the idea is cool." "Okay, well let me call Daniel and see if he's there and ask him if he wants to join," he said and had already taken the receiver from the cradle. I hoped that Daniel was alright and the same time I hoped that Daniel would not think that I went to Georg and told him everything. I could not tell Georg not to mention me, well whatever I thought, I had to rely on my luck.
"Hey Danny, it's me Georg!
How are you doing?
Cool, nice to hear that! Had fun with your mom and dad?
Hehe, yeah I bet that this was tricky.
Hey anyhow, the reason I am calling is that I wanna ask you if you wanna go to the flicks later on?
Okay, we'll meet at 7 in front of your building. Till then "
"So," he said with such a big smile, "we're going to get out later on. Hmmm.. which flick are we going to see?" "Uh, I don't care, just chose some good movie," I replied. "Ha ha, you make it really easy for yourself, huh? Making me chose the film and when it's crap then you gonna cuss the shit out of me, right?" "Exactly," I said with a grin. I would never cuss the shit out of him though. "Well let's fire the PC up then, we're gonna check what's in the cinemas on the internet," he said. "Man you sure know a lot cool pages Georg, I just chat, and that's all," I said. "Ahan? And with whom do you chat?" I didn't think about that at all. I mostly chat only in gay channels, seldomely for something else, so I had to think about something. "Well general chat man, nothing special, chats with ... chicks." "The usual. Hope you don't get all cyber and jack off in front of the PC," he laughed but suddenly stopped as he must have realized that I didn't like that comment. "Actually not Georg," I said very soberly. "Sorry Kaneda, I was just joking." "Not to worry. Forget it," I said already feeling bad that I took it amiss what he had said. It wasn't that bad and I knew he meant it as a joke. "Hey I have a film, let's watch 'Cookie's Fortune'," he said. "Who's starring?" "Liv Tyler, Chris O' Donnel and some other guys I don't know," he said smiling a bit, still feeling a bit embarrassed at what he had said earlier. "Oh man Georg, stop it, I didn't mind what you said, stop looking like that." "How am I looking?" "All guilty," I said and grinned heavily, which made him start to smile aswell. "Okay, okay.. so since we got the film - what are we going to do the spare hours we have?" "Don't know,.." "Let me think ... hey you been to the gym today?" "Nopes." "Well then let's go for work out for some time, what do you think?" "Oh well okay, if I don't go I will start skipping it for the rest of the week and that ain't a good way to keep up a good shape," I said and grinned. "I need to get my stuff and a jacket - and apparently a smoke. We'll meet downstairs in 5 minutes okay?" "Sure, till then." Georg said with a smile.
It didn't take me longer than 4 minutes to get my stuff together: A white Nike shirt without sleeves and a stitched, dark-blue Nike-Logo on it, a blue Nike short which when I wore would cover my legs till my knees, a pair of white Nike-socks and of course some Nike AirMax. I knew that I was over-doing it with my Nike-fable, but I loved the stuff from them, and sometimes I reckoned myself to be the victim of their marketing campaign. But as long as I liked it, everything was alright. And up to now I liked most of the stuff. I took my showering gel and the rest aswell with me this time, since I knew there would be far too less time to come back to the dorms and have a shower. Usually I would avoid showering in the gym's showers for different reasons: At times I feared that I would start to stare too much at some of the hunks and would reveal myself. Another reason was that the shower's weren't that clean at times. But I thought that actually the main reason was that I didn't want to see my friends all naked. I knew it was weird, but I felt bad for having sexual fantasies about them already - I felt pretty bad jerking off having them in my mind sometimes and didn't want to make this jack-offs even more 'real'. I knew that it sounded really weird, but that's how I felt. Georg was already waiting in front of the building - as usual. I thought that I was fast this time, but still young blue eyes was faster. He was wearing a real stylish gray jacket, but I could not describe the fabric of it for it seemed like a mix of wool and something else I didn't know properly. However it was looking good with him. "Ready?" Georg asked. "Sure." "Well we won't have too much time for your little escapades - I mean that you shower at home; I have two towels with me so you can use one of mine." "Nice thought Georg, but I knew about it, and have all my stuff together. Thank you anyhow." Georg grinned and we went down the road for the gym. It was about a 10 minutes walk from the gym but the terrible cold wind made walking there a royal pain the ass. I regretted that we hadn't taken the bus down to the gym. The road, the buildings and the other surroundings we were passing were refreshingly uninspiring. I meant what I thought. One gray building with oddly painted colors (Austin Powers would find them pretty "Groovy" I thought) would follow another. Trees with only some brownish-hanging leaves on strangely thin, spider-like branches, gave this whole scenario a bizarre touch. The recycle bins with their bright orange color stinged in my eyes and made the whole view look even more grotesque. "This is how it will look like after a nuclear impact," I said to myself rather loudly for Georg heard what I said. "What?" "Nothing." "You are right." "Huh?" "Yeah already looks like an A-Bomb has detonated here. All gray, dull, dead, strange - no students here. Really odd. And these orange recycle bins. Man, simply sucks." "At least you share this with me," I said and grinned. The sports complex of the university was huge and the gym was located somewhere in between two great halls. The light in the gym was rather dull, and most of the machines for work-out were looking rather old or used a lot. It's a typical phenomenon for german universities I thought, mostly they had problems to fund all the offers they had for the students, so they were seldomely up-to-date with the equipment. I didn't mind it though. In the locker room I chose on purpose a spot which was a bit away from Georg's place so that if I started to stare at him (which I hoped I would not), it would not be so apparent. I tried hard not to stare at him while he was changing but however I could not resist to take a glimpse. There wasn't much to see for Georg was wearing his stuff already below his pants and the sweater. Tough luck! When we went out, he was wearing an UCLA-sweatshirt and shorts from "Champions". The color-combination he had chosen was red/gray and it suited him a lot. His shorts weren't as long as mine and one could see his beautiful thighs which were defined but weren't over-muscled like those of some guys in the gym. His legs were coated with a very delicate amount of hair; it looked very soft and nearly smooth, for it was very thin. Georg's calfs were also neat, and I liked to view them. I noticed that I started to stare so I tried to digress myself with something else and I just thought I should do more for my legs aswell. We went in and started with a warm-up run for about 15 minutes. After that we had different work-out procedures and Georg went to the machines for training his thighs and calfs. I went over to the butterfly to keep my pecs in shape. An odd machine, I never liked it too much, but it was very effective, that's what I learnt with time. Back then when I started to workout, I had problems moving those 40 lbs but now I was dealing with 120 lbs already and felt real good about it. There were a lot of students in the gym and some of them were looking quite gorgeous. One guy for instance had a nearly perfect build and looked neat, but in my eyes he was too short, with a few inches more he would have certainly been a lady-killer (and would drag more looks of men like me towards him). Some of the guys -thought- they were absolute hot-shots for they were showing off with everything they were doing. Others on the other hand would just talk the whole time long. It looked to me as if they just came to chat with their friends. Some sort of alibi-maneuver to feel better ("oh yeah, I've been to the gym again - aah, I feel great!"). The most respect I had for the somewhat heavier guys and girls who were running for hours, stepping for hours and torturing themselves to get rid of their unwanted amounts of mass. I thought a lot about it and I came to the conclusion that if I weren't as I were (One could say that I was gifted at some extend with a good body, for I never needed to do too much workout to look defined) then I definitely wouldn't be able to do that much workout as they were doing. Sometimes I wished I could help them by simply casting a spell to make their fat vanish. I smiled at that thought. But back to the guys in the gym. There was one guy whom I had noticed would look over to me, or rather I had a feeling. Whenever I looked over to him, he never looked back, so I was pretty unsure if my feeling was right or not. I didn't care about that guy too much, for he was absolutely not my type. I tried to figure out if Georg was looking at me, but actually he was not - or I never noticed him looking at me if he did so. He was looking so sexy with each movement he was making. Georg was a sight, that was for sure, and I had noticed that not only me was looking at him but many chicks were doing the same from time to time. If he knew how many chances he had with women. But some guys don't know how to go up to girls and talk. Tough luck!
Georg was pretending to be busy with the machine for the calfs but he was paying most of his attention to Kaneda, who was looking around while doing his butterflies. Georg liked to watch 'his' Kaneda move his arms together which caused his strong pecs to contract the same time. He was trying to view as much as possible of Kaneda, but as soon as he was moving his head to the direction where Georg was sitting, Georg would smoothly look somewhere else. Sometimes he would look back at him, give him a smile and mimic an exhausted man, or putting on grimaces on his face just for the sake of it. He saw spots of sweat on Kaneda's shirt and he wondered how his body would look right now without the T-shirt on it. Trying not to drift on in daydreams, he concentrated on something else.
Georg was certainly not paying attention to me, but would just fool around from time to time. After some time and some chats we were both done with our program and it was time to get ready for the flick. We went out of the gym and headed towards the locker room were the showers also were. As we opened the door, the warm air virtually slapped us right in the face. Georg, who was a bit away from where I was standing, undressed himself quite quickly, wrapped a towel around himself and went into the showers. I caught a glimpse on his butt for about a second before it disappeared under the towel. And what I had seen so far was quite nice. I got rid of my T-shirt and shorts, which were partly soaked with my sweat and headed with a towel to the showers. Not that it was the first time that I was in showers with other guys, I still felt somehow uncomfortable though I was enjoying it in there. Georg was already showering and I looked at him for very short, but liking a lot what I had seen. I decided that I would try to get as less views of him as possible, since I was already feeling an autonomous reaction from my best part. The temperature of the water was okay, but I made it more chilly, so that it would completely kill any lust in me. Georg was standing about 2 meters away and if I wanted to I could have had a real nice look at his body. I tried to control myself and not look at him so I looked at the other direction. That wasn't much of an help either since a real stud was showering there, with arms and pecs so beautifully defined, I could not handle it. God I was feeling embarrassed for I felt that my manhood was getting harder. I started to soap myself up with the showering gel and tried to avoid my crotch at some extent - I knew that any touch would bring me in a more embarrassing position. I hurried up and made the water even colder. I looked around, grinning a bit silly and feeling that I had everything back in control now. I looked at Georg - only at his face (I wanted to watch him all over and enjoy his looks but I only risked a short glimpse on him) - and he smiled back, making a gesture that we should hurry up.
As Georg went into the locker-room, he was in full anticipation for this would be the first time that he would see a whole lot more of his adored guy. Kaneda never used to go to the showers with them when they worked out. Once he had asked Kaneda what the reason for that was and he told him that he didn't like the unhygienic appearance of the showers. He was pretty right there, Georg thought. However this time Kaneda hadn't enough time and had to shower with him and Georg was looking forward to see him in full nudity. Georg was pretty much able to control himself in such "showering-situations". He was in the basketball-team back in school and had learnt some tactics on how to avoid getting a hard one with all the others in the shower. He was faster with changing clothes than Kaneda was and already went in there. He looked around and chose a spot from where he would always have a good look at Kaneda. He thought that Kaneda would not choose a vacant shower too close to another guy so there was only one left he could chose. After a minute or so Kaneda, with a towel around his waist, entered the showers. Georg was watching him trough the corner of his eyes in full tension. Kaneda took off the towel and put it on one of the hooks of the entrance. Georg started to drool over Kaneda's body. He couldn't have prayed for more he thought. He could not see too properly though since a direct look would have been too obvious and the way he was looking caused Kaneda not to be in the focus of his eyes. But what he saw amazed him and made him horny. Now, for the first time, he was 'developing' a problem in the showers for his manhood was starting to react on the sight Kaneda gave him. Georg concentrated on something else, still trying to get as much from Kaneda as possible. He could see that Kaneda was soaping himself up and he dreamt how it would be if he would be the owner of the hand which was soaping Kaneda. Georg turned around, washed his hair and looked directly at Kaneda's face this time - and saw that he was also looking at his face. Not knowing what to say he just made a gesture to him to hurry up.
I was faster than Georg out of the showers and went back to the lockerroom. Noone was there and I started to dry myself off with the towel. I had turned around and anybody who'd come in would only see my back. When I came to dry off my crotch I actually started to rub my best part gently with the towel. I had just seen Georg in his full glory, and you can believe me when I say that he was looking awesome: His dark hair, his blue eyes, the sculptured pecs and abs, the strong arms, his muscular thighs and wonderful calfs. Everything in right proportions, everything looking sexy. I could feel that this light touch of the towel was making me wild like nothing so I tried hard to stop myself from doing it, but I was unable to do so. I saw my hand keeping up the smooth motion and my dick getting harder. I was in the locker room and any second somebody could step in seeing what I was doing but that was getting more and more unimportant to me. It was feeling so damn good and waves of lust were moving trough my body and I felt that I was loosing control. I wanted to stop and not to stop. Only one second more I thought.. only a second more, then I would stop... I felt that it would not take too long to cum, god in heavens, what was I doing? My breathing became harder and my my hand was stroking more than gently now. The precum had lubed parts of my dickhead and the movement's were getting smoother. I was thinking of having it with Georg right now and it felt so good. 'Jerk off Kaneda, noone will come' I thought. I heard how a shower was turned off. I came to senses, bit on my lip and pressed myself against the hard and cold steel of the fence, which was separating each row of benches from each other. The cold brang me back to reality and I instantly moved my hand away from my erection. Now I heard some noise. I stunned. I was still breathing a bit heavier, but all the lust was instantly gone. I grabbed my boxers and slipped into them quickly, my dick creating a huge bulge in it. I was more than reliefed that I hadn't lost control completely.
Georg had enjoyed the view, and when Kaneda went out of the showers, he saw his nice behind. Georg tried to finish showering as fast as possible for he wanted to see Kaneda changing, damn he was really hot now, he wanted to be with Kaneda so much... but... Kaneda wasn't gay. He felt so damn idiotic all of a sudden that he was loving somebody he couldn't have. 'Damn!', he thought, washed the soap off and went out. Stepping out he saw Kaneda slipping into his boxers pretty much hurried. He looked at him and was enjoying Kaneda's nice V-shaped back. He knew that he loved that guy, no matter what happened and knew that sooner or later he would have to tell him about himself. Thinking about it, he decided that if he really should tell him, he would skip that "being-in-love" part. Real sweet thoughts he had in his mind but he knew that it would not lead nowhere. Looking at Kaneda, Georg felt like going up to him and hug or hold him tight.
My stud came out of the showers with the towel around his waist and he also hurried to get dressed. He used that technique were one would have the towel around ones waist the whole time and dress up. I was pretty impressed with that for I was unable to keep the towel around my waist while putting on my boxers or pants. (I know this sounds silly, but I really was unable to do so). After 10 minutes we were out of the gym and on the way to the place to meet Daniel. I searched my pockets for my luckies and lit one. Thinking about what I had seen in the showers, I knew that there was a lot of more substance for my jerking-off-sessions now, though I felt bad for reducing my sweet friend, this gorgeous hunk to an object of my sexual desires.
Continued in part IV (which will be out very soon!) Please let me know how you found this part and send comments, critics and anything else to: tsuzahara@yahoo.com
Thanx for reading :)