Written by: Amar Patel
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The following story is fictional. The author (myself) is over the age of 21. Anyone who is under the legal age (in accordance with the laws of their country, state, or province) to view erotic or adult material should immediately dissuade themselves from reading any further. The story is once again fictional, and any similarities to any events and persons (living or dead) are purely coincidental and unintentional. If you are offended by homosexuality or illegally viewing this material, this is your final warning to read no further.
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Chapter X
Jahan
Though it has been only a few short hours since we departed from the military checkpoint, it seems as if an eternity has passed with the deafening silence between us, and perhaps, this is due to the looming aftermath of the incident that filled the air with a thick poisonous cloud. In all honesty, that act of sheer bestial savagery has solidified a rather heretical thought within my mind... and that is my absolute doubt of the existence of a higher power. For what manner of God would allow such a heinous crime to occur?... What manner of God, so deemed all powerful and benevolent, would sit idly by as someone so pious was torn asunder by the bastard's thrusts?... Khaled embodied all the qualities that the mullahs praised as those of a true and devout Muslim, and yet, he was the one chosen to endure such suffering. How could Allah sit idly by? How could he leave such a deed... no such a sin unpunished?! How could he forsake us as I prayed to him after so many years?!... I don't know why I had difficulty with this... struggling to fathom why Allah didn't intervene when in reality, the person to blame for all of this... is me. Was this Allah's punishment for my cowardice or was this just the cruel hand of fate?... Whatever the reason, it was I who did nothing to stop it, it was I who made no effort to ease Khaled's pain, and it was I who once again failed to protect a member of their family. This reminds me of when I failed to protect maman from being slathered across the bazaar in bits and pieces, when I failed baba as he laid there in bloodied and soiled bandages, and my recent offense of breaking my vow to Kaka Sohrab to always keep his son safe from harm. The incident is still fresh in my mind... a movie on constant replay, and a constant reminder of my own sin. Again and again, I saw Khaled's expression, his eyes wide in fear and shame, his gags and coughs as his own tribesman forced himself down his throat, and how he struggled to breathe, but was held in place by the Hazara with a manic smile. Khaled's own body betrayed him by emiting moans of pain and pleasure as the Tajik took him with a carnal hunger, his rigid phallus thrusting with the ferocity of a train, and how the Tajik stroked Khaled's member to the point where it was raw with friction.
Before this, I thought this heart of mine was long dead, nothing more than a lump of lifeless stone, but yet, even it was sickened by the brutality it was forced to bear, and the nature of its owner. I could have done something... I should have done something... anything really, but my fear of death kept me in place... I was given the opportunity to redeem myself as Khaled beckoned to me from the back of the truck, his eyes looking for my reaction, but I did the opposite, and ran. I was and am shaken to the very core of my being, and found myself springting to the side of the road to vomit. I knew that Khaled wanted my comfort and reassurance, but I was too busy recovering from seeing such a transgression. I vomited for several minutes as Amal employed his medic skills to stop the bleeding, and Anas helped me along with a solemn if not numb expression. I am not sure how I can face him now after all of this... Khaled needed me, but I failed him... If it were me being violated, he would have been at my side, but in my eyes, I wouldn't have been as brave as he was. If I had intervened, then I would have been shot before I even touched those... those bastards, and all would have been lost. If I had martyred myself, then surely they would have shot everyone else, and dumped our bodies in the fallow fields. No one would ever know that we were gone, and truly, we would have been lost to history. Funny, I thought that my heart would never be able to return from its dormant state, and I find myself surprised, not only had it returned, but it made my face wet with tears. My mind had taught me to ignore my emotions, but there was no stopping the rivers that poured from my eyes, and how my frame shook like a leaf in a storm. Wiping my face with my sleeve, I lifted the tarp of the truck as I felt the bile rise up into my throat, and I let loose on the fallow grass. In the distance, I saw remnants of fallow fields and dilapidated villages, and let that ease my bodily functions. We would be arriving within an hour or two, but it wasn't soon enough for me.
I heard a whimper behind me followed by a moan of pain, but then, it was drowned out by a rather melodic voice. It was a rather solemn tune, something about a bird, but it seemed to put Khaled at ease, and soon the silence returned. Letting the tarp fall back down, I turned towards Khaled and Amal, and saw the bachem humming softly with Khaled's head resting in his lap. Khaled was curled up in a fetal position, the back of his pants were stained with dried blood, and his body shook from time to time with the occasional shiver. He had been in a rather catatonic state when I entered, his expression blank with a thousand yard stare, and I was glad that he was able to finally sleep. For the first time, I truly felt something more than brotherhood for him, and it was a strange feeling, truly indescribable. Noticing that he was being watched, the bachem opened his eyes, and look towards me with a soft and comforting smile. Though I know that he was doing his best to keep together, I knew that he was shaken by the incident as well, and even his smile was slightly dim. I give him my debt though, he was the one who took my place when Khaled needed someone at his side, and performed my medical duties with precision and compassion. The bachem looked at me intently, and looked down at Khaled.
"He doesn't blame you Dr. Ebadi."
I was shocked, was I truly that transparent? "What do you mean?"
"Khaled, he knows that you couldn't do anything, and I know that he doesn't blame you for what happened. That's why you were crying earlier, right?"
"You really think that he forgives me?" I could hear my doubt.
He nodded "Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in what could have been, we lose our way and forget about what can be done. If you dwell on the past, your focus becomes narrow, and you never find a solution to prevent repetition. When he talks about you Dr. Ebadi, I know that he will never blame you for anything, and truly think he has already forgiven you."
"Have you been talking a lot back here?" I was curious.
He nodded "We've become close friends in such a short time." He yawned, and I knew that he was just as exhausted as I was.
"You should sleep bachem, you haven't slept for awhile now."
"I am fine sir, you look tired though, you should sleep, and I will let you know when we arrive."
His voice was quite persuasive, and I felt my eyelids grow heavy. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I will be alright. Do you want to lay here with Khaled?" His voice was sheepish.
I wanted to begin to make it up to Khaled, and nodded "Of course."
Amal unfolded a blanket and laid it down, and placed one of my mother's pillows on top "Here." Gently, he grabbed another pillow, and eased it under Khaled's head as he moved.
Making my way over, I let my head fall onto the pillow, and felt my remaining energy being sapped. Looking over as Amal perched himself in the corner with one of my baba's books, I found myself speaking with almost a whisper. "Amal?"
He looked up "Yes?"
"Mersi."
He smiled brightly "You're welcome." Before the last syllable escaped his lips, I felt myself falling into deep slumber.
I awoke to someone gently shaking my body awake, and the sound of numerous voices in the distance. Sitting up, I let my vision become clear and the grogginess clear up, and found Amal looking in the direction of the voices with a gaze of concern. It was hard to tell what they were all saying due to their sheer volume and overlap, but I could tell that their tones were urgent with the strong hint of apprehension. Pressing my fingers to my lips as Amal tried to speak, I looked down at Khaled who was still sound asleep, but had turned in my direction much to my relief. His soft sighs showed that his sleep was peaceful, and I did not want him to be in any more danger. Slowly making my way to the back of the truck, I unlocked the latch to the door, and leapt down to a series of gasps and mutters, but I too was surprised by what greeted me. Anas stood immediately to my right, his face calm with a large bruise from being struck earlier, and I realized that we were completely surrounded. It was a crowd of perhaps a hundred or a hundred and fifty, and there was not a single man in sight. The entire crowd was made of women, all Hazara, and many of them were looking at the two of us in pure horror. Several small heads popped out from around their skirts, and to my astonishment, the young children had mixtures of both Hazara and Pashtun features. They were pointing at Anas and I, muttering, some turning to another to whisper rapidly in Hazaragi, and the tension was suffocating to say the least. Suddenly, the crowd of women cleared, and an old if not ancient women stepped forth, her petite frame wrapped in a shroud of green shawls and embroidery, and though she walked with a cane, she carried an air of authority and wisdom. Her hair from what I could see was the color of freshly fallen snow on a mountain top, her skin tanned from hours in the sun, and her wrinkles revealed her extreme age, but gave her the warmth that reminded me of a grandmother. She moved rather quickly which was surprising since her shawls and gold were easily several kilos, and she made her way to the front with a look of conviction. Her slanted brown eyes seemed to pierce my very soul in analysis, and she smiled weakly as she was joined by a pair of young women. I was not sure if the rules of etiquette applied since they existed for the interactions between men, but I looked towards Anas who told me with a look to wait and see.
The old woman stopped, and looked at us up and down. "I bid you welcome to our Hamlet, I am Laleh, the elder. May I ask who you are, and what brings you to this place so far off the beaten path?" She spoke with a thick Hazaragi accent.
I did not know how to approach her, but I did my best to be respectful. "Madar bozorg (grandmother), I am Jahan Ebadi of Kandahar province, and my companion is Anas Alam who is also from Kandahar province. We seek refuge in your village for a short period, and we will be on our way to Kabul in no time."
The old woman's eyes flicked towards the truck "May I ask what cargo is in your truck?" She seemed to look for any signs of movement inside.
"We have only our personal possessions, and two other companions madar bozorg. We mean your village no harm." I replied.
"Who are your other companions?" She nodded to the women to her left who stepped forward, and began walking towards the truck.
"To show that we mean you no harm, I will trust you with our secret madar bozorg." I looked at Anas who nodded in reassurance "We have an injured American soldier with us, and a native of your village who is also injured."
Laleh raised a brow "No one has left this place in over a decade."
I nodded "He left over a decade ago madar bozorg with his father, do you know the Rahimi clan?"
Several women chatted with excitement, and the old woman smiled genuinely. "We are aware, we thought them long dead, and are they telling the truth Golbahar?" She directed her question to the woman who was peering under the tarp.
"Yes." The woman replied, and returned to her place.
"I have one last question bachem. Are you being pursued by the Taliban?"
I shook my head "No, I assure you that we were not followed."
"Then you are welcome to stay, and we are grateful that you brought back one of our own. If you don't mind bachem, I would like you to walk with me, and Golbahar can direct your companion to the home in which the Rahimi clam once stayed in."
I nodded to her and Anas "That is fine madar bozorg."
The woman named Golbahar followed Anas to the front of the truck with a dagger tucked into her belt, and I heard the engine fire up. As the crowd cleared the way, the truck began making a slow crawl forward along the dirt road, and the elder and I walked behind it slowly. I felt slightly afraid as a woman with a machete trailed behind us, but I did not know what had happened here, and understood that it was a precaution. It was silent for the most part as we walked, but as we passed a dirt lot, I noticed that there were several grave markers decorated in the Shia tradition while others were simple stone. If I recall, it was only those who died virgins were given the elaborate markers, and I saw that the elder gazed solemnly at them in remembrance.
"I apologize bachem for our hostility, but we suffered a great loss under the Taliban, and we have taken the law into our own hands."
I shook my head "I understand."
"You are a curious one, bachem. You say you are from Kandahar, but speak with a Tehrani accent, and you care for the stories of an old woman."
"I also suffered many losses under the Taliban madar bozorg. What happened here? Grief becomes less heavy when we discuss it with someone who has gone through a similar situation."
"They came nearly five years ago, the Taliban, and they did unspeakable things to the men and women of this village alike. The women were raped, the men taken to that field and shot dead, and even the children. I remember that they said all boys and men older than 10 would be killed, and then it was just us women. No one from the government ever came to drive off that regiment of Talibs, and so us women dealt with them in a way that fit their crimes. They now fertilize the fields to the north. It is just us and the children now, and though their fathers were Talibs, they are Hazara through and through." Grandma Laleh stopped then, and look upwards as the truck pulled alongside the hill in front of us. "We have reached the home you will be staying at, but I am afraid there is no one here to greet you, bachem."
I looked towards her in shock "There are no other Rahimi clan members?"
She shook her head " Sohrab had no other family, and Nilofer had her mother who lived in this house here. Khaled is the last one, I am afraid."
"What happened to the woman who owned this house, madar bozorg?"
She spoke in a hushed voice "Though she was not a Hazara herself, she hid several of the children in her house, and she protected them even when they shot her again and again. She was the last casualty of the battle, and had the spirit of a true Hazara. She knew that her death was coming soon with her age, and her will and belongings are still there. We did not touch anything of hers, but did our best to take care of what she left behind. Peace be upon her in death."
I looked in the direction of the truck as Khaled hobbled out followed by Amal. "Thank you madar bozorg, in return for your kind offers, we will do whatever we can to help. We have quite an array of skills amongst us four."
The elder nodded "I will be on my way then, and will leave you to settle in."
Watching her and the other woman walk away, I turned to look up the hill, and found myself amazed. A modest house sat at the top of the hill, and was constructed with the traditional mud and clay, but had a degree of modernity and foreign influence. Unlike the other houses that I saw, the roof was not flat, but had a slight upturned roof like those of the Far East, and its shingles were black. Overlooking the village, it also looked over a vast field of blue flowers, and I noticed a small table that had been set up for the former occupant to sip chai while watching the soft blue petals sway in the breeze. Climbing the hill, I saw that there was a small yard with a Buddha statue at its center, and much to my disdain, his tranquil face was riddled with bullet holes. Running my hand along his, I felt the sensation of dread and instinct, and could almost feel her will to protect the children she died for. The front door and windows were also rather oriental in appearance with the grid like wood, and I poked the material and saw that it was nothing more than paper. Several of the windows were cracked, but not broken, and I could tell that the house was once a loving and warm place. I heard Khaled approaching behind me and turned to see that he was looking at me rather than the house, and I went to assist him as he limped forward. I heard Anas and Amal chattering in simple Arabic, and noticed that Khaled was looking back and forth between a rusted latch on the door and the Buddha statue. I looked at him then, and he pointed to the stones that the Buddha sat on. Nodding my head with a weak smile, I went and kneeled near the stones, and noticed that there was a small space between them. Big enough to fit my two fingers, I felt something cold and metal, and extracted a key. Rushing back in excitement, I unlocked the latch, and slid the door open.
"Agha?" Khaled's voice was feeble.
"What is it Khaled-jan?" I felt my guilt again.
"I never thought that I would come to this place like this, but I have always wanted to show you. Come."
He removed his sandals and entered with me following suit, and my bare feet touched wood floor rather than tile. We were standing in what I believed to be a living room, and it certainly wasn't Afghan by any means. There was a small step down that led to a square impression with a small table at its center, and I noticed a rather fine tea set displayed neatly on it. Khaled was looking at it with a soft smile, and he hobbled over to it. Tracing his fingers along the painted branches, he muttered to himself in what I assumed to be Korean, and placed the kettle gently down.
"Halmeoni and I used to drink tea here everyday agha. She would have loved to meet you."
I saw a tear on his cheek "You know she is in Jannah?"
He nodded "The woman told me, but she lived a long life, and she is at peace. Inshallah. Come agha, I want to show you the rooms."
I could tell that he was in a state of emotion, and was not sure how to approach him yet, but followed him down a narrow hallway that was lined with yellowed photos and old paintings. The house was quite large due to the fact that as we reached the end, there were three rooms with matching sliding doors, and he opened the one on the far left first. It was decorated rather sparsely with a single window and a folded futon on the floor, but several toys were placed neatly inside a shelf alongside several articles of clothing. A young Khaled peered at me from a frame with an older woman next to him, and I knew immediately that was the halmeoni that I have heard so much about over the years. For the first time, I noticed that there was the constant aroma of ginseng and jasmine inside the house, and saw that Khaled was unfolding the futon.
"This was my room agha. I used to sleep in here with Baba every night, and I think that Anas-jan can sleep here. The next room is also a bedroom for guests, and Amal-jan can sleep there, but I want to show you Halmeoni's room." Standing, I saw that his knees gave way, and I surprised even myself by catching him with god-like speed.
He seemed rather nervous and caught off guard "I-I am sorry agha."
I shook my head "No, Khaled-jan, I am sorry." I did not know what made me do it, but I kissed him then, and my lips touched his.
When we broke, he looked at me with alarm "A-agha?"
My hand was now propping up his head, and my heart was now beating fast. "I am sorry Khaled. Let's keep going."
Helping him up, I felt a strange sensation, a mixture of malaise and warmth, but I did not understand why. Khaled seemed to have brushed off my brief moment of insanity, and quickly went back out to the hall, and opened the door on the right. I expected something simple like the other rooms, but this one was lavish to say the least. Like the other rooms, there was a single window that looked out to the vast fields of flowers, but on either side, there were frames with photos of various individuals, and below the sill, there was a moderate sized chest. To my immediate right, I saw several pairs of elegant shoes, and to my left, there were these dresses of the finest silk. The room smelled of jasmine and chai, and to my amazement, there was quite a volume of letters on a small desk. Khaled did not say anything, but instead went to the chest with an urgency, and opened it with a soft creak. Inside was quite a bit of objects, but what attracted Khaled's attention was a folded bundle of paper tied with a ribbon. Ignoring the other objects, Khaled sat himself against a drawer on the far end of the room near a folded futon, and opened the letter with hesitation. Looking at me then, he patted the place next to him, and I eagerly went over. From what I could see it was a rather lengthy letter written in Korean, and it was addressed to Khaled, but beyond that, its contents were a mystery. Khaled seemed to scan it briefly, and began reading aloud in Dari to my benefit.
"To my grandson Khaled Rahimi,
If you are reading this letter then that means that you were able to return home safely, and have learned of my death. Though I was not able to see you in my final moments, know that I loved you dearly, and leave all my posessions to you, but there is also other things that I have left you besides that. As you know, your grand father was a Belgian and myself a Korean, and your mother both, but you also carry these heritages in your veins. When your mother was born, I reported her birth to my homeland that I left behind so long ago, and thus made her a Korean through blood and nationality, but I wanted you to also have the opportunity to see your true homeland. While you were in your mother's womb, your mother, father, and I made a pact that your birth would also be reported to your homeland. Before your mother passed on from this world, she gave you the gift of a Korean name alongside the name your father gave, and I shall remember you always as Soo-Il Rhee. You may take whatever name you wish, and this leads to the pact that the three of us made. We all wanted you to have the option of being free of this war torn place if you ever returned to Bamiyan from your service with the Ebadi family, and so it was done. You are a Korean as well as an Afghan, and have the option of returning to the homeland that we left behind. Though you may be alone, you can start anew, and that is the greatest gift I can give. You may keep or sell the heirlooms if you desire for money, and may we reunite in another life.
Rhee Myung-Hyo
Maahe Kamel, Bamiyan Province, Afghanistan "
He and I looked at each other for the longest time, and for some reason, I felt saddened after hearing the letter's contents. "What do you think Khaled?" was all I could say.
He shook his head in disbelief "I don't know agha..."
"Is that all the letter says?"
"No agha, the rest is a will with all the stories. Can I have some time alone agha?"
I nodded "Of course, Anas, Amal, and I will get settled." I stood and walked out. With a last look at Khaled's expression, I slid the door shut, and saw that Amal was already in the kitchen with Anas moving the stuff we needed inside.
Amal sat in a chair near a window, his expression one of worry, and he looked towards me "Is Khaled alright, Dr. Ebadi?"
I nodded "He should be fine, he has been put through a lot, leave him be."
"Mr. Anas said that he needs to speak with you as soon as he carries the last box in."
"I understand, but we have to think about dinner first."
"I can cook sir, if that is alright with you?"
I was a little daunted, I never had anyone give me a home cooked people besides Khaled for ages now "I hope you know what you are doing."
"I do." As Amal gave a polite smile, Anas slid the door open, and laid my trunk on the floor alongside Khaled's.
"Oh good you're done, we have matters to discuss Jahan-jan."
"What matters?"
"Please come outside."
Nodding to Amal, I followed Anas outside, and shut the door behind me "What is it?"
Anas' face grew solemn "I do not wish to rush things, but we must plan the next step in our journey. Unlike before, we are not being chased, so we have some time, but we have to leave eventually."
He was right of course, but circumstances have never been on our side. Crossing my arms, I voiced my concerns as they entered my mind "Khaled most likely has an anal fissure sahib, and Amal is still healing. Perhaps it will be another few weeks or a month before we can go."
Anas shook his head in disbelief "A month is such a long time..."
I was sure that he was concerned with his own life as well, and I did not blame him, he did much more than I hoped he would do. I thought for a moment, and my proposition certainly would keep Anas' life together. "Do you have any clients or friends nearby sahib?"
He nodded "I know a man in Mazar I Sharif."
I did not want to burden him any longer "Perhaps you should return to your... business for the time being, and can always come back."
He looked towards the sky in thought, and looked back with an expression of fear "But will you manage Jahan-jan?"
I was not entirely sure, but we had survived in the masjid for so long "I think we will be fine. I am sure there is a market in the village, and there is the river below. Besides, you have done so much for us sahib."
"If you insist, I will conduct business in Mazar I Sharif for the time being, but I will be needing the truck."
I nodded, I could not drive anyways neither could Khaled, and even if Amal could, his leg would only make it difficult. "Then we shall unload everything else, and I will give whatever we don't need to the women."
He nodded "Alright. Should we get started then?"
After informing Amal of our plans, he agreed, and requested that we bring whatever food we had inside first for dinner. We began our slow and meticulous work of unloading and sorting our entire lives, and the hours flew by with small talk between Anas and I. I was not entirely sure how Anas truly felt, he had never been one to reveal any emotion, and was his usual self despite the prominent bruise on his face. We finished some time around the mid afternoon, and were welcomed by the smell of a rich broth. Amal had been rather creative with what we brought him, and had managed to make a Spanish style stew with Afghan ingredients, but even managed to reheat the naan. Khaled did not join us, and I told the others that he would eat when needed. I spent the rest of the afternoon changing Amal's bandages, trading goods with the village women, and by the time I realized it, it was sundown. Helping Amal into his room, I bid Anas a farewell as he drove off into the night, and found myself wondering if Khaled was truly alright. Grabbing my medical bag from the room that was originally for Anas, I walked past Amal, and found him sound asleep. Shutting the door as gently as I could, I made my way down the hall, and knocked gently on the wall of Khaled's room. There was no reply which was odd, and as I knocked again, I heard a voice reply softly.
"Agha?"
"Yes." I replied.
"What is it?"
I found that question concerning "You haven't come out in hours Khaled-jan, and I am concerned. I wanted to look at your... wound. Is there a light in there?"
I heard footsteps and the door slid open. Khaled looked rather somber, and his bed was littered with all sorts of things that I had never seen in my life "There is an oil lamp agha. Is that enough?"
"Yes, Khaled-jan. Can I come in?"
He nodded "I am sorry for taking so long."
"It is fine. If this is like when my baba died, I understand."
Using a match to light the lamp, Khaled cleared a space on the bed, and for the first time, I actually felt nervous about something so mundane. I dealt with all sorts of maladies and injuries, but yet, it was somehow different this time. Shutting the door, I felt my anxiety grow, and I placed my bag on the floor. Before we started, I wanted to know about this part of Khaled that I have never seen, a Khaled who was not the dutiful Hazara that I grown up with, but the Khaled who had a whole different identity. "What have you been doing in here?"
He sat on the futon "I was thinking agha."
"About Korea?" I felt ashamed for being so nosy.
He nodded "I was thinking about what it would be like, and how I would like to live there."
I felt my heart fluttering, and fear rushing over me "You decided to go?"
Khaled to my relief, shook his head. "My life is here with you agha, where you go, I will follow."
Though it made me elated to hear that, I remembered the letter, and found myself seeing that Khaled truly had an opportunity to be free without my burden or obligation "Khaled-jan, you must go."
His face was filled with shock "W-what?"
I found myself repeating the same words which I still did not believe "You must go."
I saw tears in his eyes "W-why?"
Walking over, I sat on the bed alongside him "Because, if you go, you can live the life that Allah has bestowed upon you. You may find everything that you have always dreamed of." I felt my body shaking.
I was shocked as his arms wrapped around me, and I saw that tears were falling down his face "Have I not served you well agha?"
My heart felt heavy then, and my thoughts scrambled for a response, but then my lips began to move on their own. "You have served me better than an army Khaled-jan, and that is why I am asking you to go. I would have never made it this far without you, and the time spent helping the bachem has changed my entire perspective of you and myself. If you want, we can go together, you and I, and we can start life over."
He nodded and broke the embrace. "Yes agha, I would like that."
After so many years, I actually flashed my teeth, and then the anxiety came again, a nervous sense of anticipation "I have to see your wound now Khaled-jan, we can't make the journey if you are not well."
Nodding shyly, he stood and dropped his pants in a single motion, and revealed a pair of plump cheeks. Laying on his back, I felt my heat beat harder as I saw his phallus laying limp. In the light of the flame, it was veiny with a pink head, and I wondered to myself why I was thinking like this. Quickly pulling my medical bag over, I pulled out a small flashlight, and looked at Khaled's anus. It had taken quite a beating, the outer muscle being rather raw and an angry red, but what concerned me was the noticeable fissure at the top. It would not pose much trouble, but it was still bleeding slightly, and I did my best to dress it. As I touched it with my gloved hand, I heard a soft sigh, and then my name. "Jahan-jan?"
Dabbing at his anus, I responded "Yes?"
"Why did you kiss me earlier agha?"
I was hoping that he wouldn't bring it up "I don't know" was all I could say. Tossing my gloves into a sealable bag, I cleaned my hands with alcohol by pouring some on a cloth. "I am done now."
He sat up without putting on his pants, and I did my best not to look "Agha?"
When I looked at him, I saw that his eyes were soft, their warm brown centers glowing like the flame. I felt sick for some odd reason, and my heart seemed to be filled with emotion."Yes?"
"Do you really want to start a new life with me?"
I was not sure what he meant by that question "Of course."
He looked sheepishly at his lap "Agha, when you were talking about how Amal changed your perspective, I could not help but feel the same way, and when I spoke to him, he gave me the confidence to tell you something."
"Tell me what, Khaled?" My heart was beating at a thousand miles.
He leaned in close then, almost to the point that there were only a few centimeters between us "That I love you agha."
Love? He loved me... Had I been so blind or had my heart been shut off? "You love me?" I hated how foolish I sounded.
Khaled nodded "Agha... I have loved you for a long time now." He leaned in closer still "Agha... when I was being penetrated, I imagined it was you, I would have never told you if things were different, but I want to express it."
I was speechless, but suddenly my anxiety stopped, and my heart filled with an undeniable warmth and happiness. I found my lips speaking faster than my thoughts "I... have come to love you too Khaled."
Khaled stared at me with utter shock for several moments, but it all seemed to melt away as he lunged forth and pressed his lips against mine, and I kissed back with equal ferocity and passion. It was so natural, there was no tension, no hesitation, no awkwardness as our tongues collided and intertwined, and as we broke, I struggled to catch my breath. Was this going to happen? I did not know much about sex besides from what I read, but this was with Khaled, and also a step into the forbidden. We kissed again, Khaled's lips were smooth like glass, and I heard him pushing things gently on the bed as we fell onto each other with him on his back and I on top. We broke again and I clasped his face in my hands, he was no longer my servant or simply a brother, but now a lover in this explosion of repressed feelings. I kissed him hard again, biting his lip gently as I kissed his neck, and he dug his fingers into my back. Stopping to remove my shirt, I assisted Khaled with his, and kissed my way down his neck to his chest. Unlike me, years of labor had given Khaled quite a build, but he was also smooth with two rather nipples, dark pink and inviting. Letting my tongue flick over one, I heard Khaled sigh, and I marvelled at how my body was propelled by sheer hunger as I kissed and sucked each nipple. Finding myself being rolled over onto my back, Khaled returned the favor, and I found myself moaning quietly into his neck as he nibbled at my ear. This was a Khaled that I was not used to, but perhaps he had been waiting for this moment for such a long time. I felt my pants being pulled down along with my briefs, and my hard phallus stood erect like the mast of a ship. I did my best to keep my moans quiet as Khaled made his way down my chest, and suddenly, I felt his warm mouth engulf me. It was just the head at first, and he lapped at it with his talented tongue. I felt it trace along the shaft to the ridge of the head, and he sucked it with plenty of motion with his hand. I was not sure where he learned all of this, perhaps from those savages, but his sucking was not that at all, it was tender yet eager, and I found myself gripping his head as I thrusted softly into his warm mouth. He got off for a moment and took a deep breath, and without warning, he engulfed me to the base. He sputtered and gagged, but continued his work, and soon my entire phallus was shining with his spit. I felt my orgasm coming, but just before I erupted, he stopped, and looked at me.
"Agha..." He wiped his mouth. "I w-want you inside me."
I was shocked at his proposal "No, Khaled-jan." I struggled to breathe, and stroked my cock in my hand "You will be compromising your healing..." Just then a thought flashed into my mind. "Khaled-jan, I want you inside of me."
He seemed to be amazed "You are bigger than me agha.."
I shook my head "Khaled-jan, you gave up your dignity for me with those bastards, and I want to repay you by giving you my respect and access to all parts of my body." My lust spoke then "Bring your cock up here Khaled-jan, and I can prepare you as you prepare me."
Without hesitation, he turned himself so that his cock floated just above my lips, and I found my legs being lifted. I was not sure what to do, and took a curious lick. Khaled-jan was dripping sweet white liquid with a hint of saltiness, and I tried my best to replicate the pleasure that Khaled performed on me. I knew I was doing a good job as he started to moan, and I sucked harder as his tongue began its assault on my hole. Soon, Khaled started thrusting into my mouth, and I did my best to adjust my throat, but still gagged and pulled off. He looked at me with concern as his finger began toying with my inner sanctum, and I shook my head in reassurance as I sucked and teased the head of his cock. I felt a finger enter me, and after several minutes a second than a third. I did my best to relax as the pain started, and I pulled off Khaled-jan's cock in satisfaciton that it was prepared for what was to come. I kept moaning as his fingers thrusted in and out, and soon, Khaled was kneeling between my legs. He looked at me just in case if I had changed my mind, but my mind was too far gone with pleasure now. Nodding my head, I spread my cheeks like a common whore, and felt the head of Khaled's cock tease the outer ring of my hole. Suddenly, I felt excruciating pain as his head popped past the muscle, and I grunted. He stopped and began pushing as I relaxed, and by some miracle, he was in me completely. The pain was horrible yet, but something in my body told me to not quit just yet, and soon I felt pure euphoria as Khaled-jan thrusted with passionate strokes. He stroked me for my benefit, and I teased him by squeezing my muscles to tighten and pleasure his shaft. He leaned forward and nibbled at my neck as I did so, I no longer had any reservations that this was meant to be, and neither did my lover. Khaled like me was now in a state of passion, he threw away all inhibition, and started thrusting like a mad man. He kissed me as I began to moan loudly to hide our love making, and then, I felt something warm fill my hole as I erupted. The room was now filled with the smells of love making, and our bodies lathered with semen. Khaled laid next to me in exhaustion, and his fingers toyed with the dusting of hair on my chest. He was now his usual self, and was cuddled up next to me with a leg strewn across mine.
He sighed "Thank you agha."
I kissed him again "This is the start of a new beginning."
We talked well into the night before we decided to go to bed, and I knew then that my heart was no longer dead. I never knew that it would be Khaled, but I was glad that our lives after so many years of suffering, has produced a product where we were not only bound by obligation, but also through affection.