AN EPIPHANY, Chapter 2 BY WILLIEJESS
The response for Chapter 1 has been truly wonderful and only highlights what has been my experience in life when communicating with gay men. Generally, a majority of men wrestled with the conflict brought on by their sexual life style and their norms of conscience. We are all products of our parental upbringing, the moral values established in our minds and hearts by parents, Church influence, Schools and peer values, and the general moral atmosphere of our society. For some, it has been a positive journey while not so fortunate for others. This story is very much God-centered while at the same time, it takes place in the natural life events of Juan and me, Thomas. I am honored and humbled that the first chapter tenderly touched the inner core of many readers who have experienced the same probing questions or concerns portrayed in the story.
"......For my part, I had a nice long conversation with God that night, and fell asleep in his arms with a nice wet cock. After all, no matter what is our position in life, namely, single or committed, we are all engaged in a marriage relationship with our Creator."
When Juan returned to his home and family, it was agreed that he should be the one to make telephone contact with me as this would minimize any family suspicion. Gradually my non-sexual involvement or friendship with Juan would naturally take place later on with his inviting me for a family dinner at which time we would share our mutual interests and the reason for the friendship. Our sexual love would need to be carefully hidden from his family in order to protect the marriage between Juan and his wife, and still have him be a devoted father to his children. When Juan departed from my home, we both felt in our hearts that our gay love is also our marriage to God and to be an extension of Juan's marriage to his wife. We both clearly understood that I would not become a replacement life or love style for his marriage, but in fact, that I would participate in such a marriage by fulfilling the deep feelings of sexual desires between Juan and myself, which wasn't being addressed with his wife. Juan recognizes his attraction towards gay love, but at the same time, he wanted to honor his commitment to his wife and family. And I, for my part, wanted to help Juan preserve his marital commitment and also seek my own fulfillment in a gay love relationship. The first night after Juan departed my home, and as part of my intimate love with the Lord, I made a vow that if it ever came to the choice of Juan wanting to leave his family and sharing my bed and love exclusively, then I would not permit it (of course, with God's help) and would terminate the relationship in favor of a celibate love with God alone. In my mind and heart, it is as much my responsibility to protect the civil marriage between Juan and his wife, with my involvement in the special love reserved between Juan, myself and God being conditioned by Juan remaining a faithful and loving husband to his wife.
Six days later, Juan telephoned and we met for the second time, again, in my home where our privacy would be intimate and protected. As soon as he entered, I placed a simple kiss on his cheek and we both engaged in a simple greeting hug. I did notice immediately the look of concern on his face, and inquired as to what was on his mind. We both sat down to engage in general conversation, but almost immediately, Juan asked me if I kept to my promise of secrecy concerning our gay love. I changed my seating in order to be next to him and looking into his eyes, I answered with a caring "yes" followed by another kiss. He returned my gesture also with a kiss and said he believed me. However, he mentioned that his job boss greeted him shortly after our first love session with a rather public, boisterous "Hi Juan, it's good to see you today." Juan informed me that he never greeted any of the employees like that in the past. That's when I shared with Juan that this is all a part of my complaint to the corporate holding company, and complained about poor health and sanitary conditions. In addition, I also complained that on many an occasion when making purchases, his boss would publically berate many an employee regardless what customers might be present. I guess my complaints were heeded since representatives of the holding company paid a visit with his boss, and gave a thorough inspection of the work place. Juan was really taken by surprise that I would do such a thing, and I responded that the surprise was also mine in seeing the company's executives taking seriously any complaints regardless the source. With the look of relief on Juan's face, I asked:
"Here in the living room or in the bedroom."
He opted for the bedroom as lying completely naked in bed and against each other would bring our love to another level. Of course my heart melted when I saw "little Thomas" waiting for me to bring him to life. Juan held my "little Juan" as I proceeded to pull back the foreskin of Juan and begin to kiss and lick the head to savor the immediate oozing of his pre-cum. My mind was lost in another world of male sex, and how invigorating it was for me. But this being my first time in a bed setting, I just couldn't get comfortable enough in the right position for sucking and making love to this beautiful man. It must have been likewise uncomfortable for Juan as he, too, was trying to arrange his body position. What I did take notice of was the fact that Juan did not make any move for a sixty-nine position so that we could share in mutual oral sex. I soon settled for what was best for me, and with my head resting on his lower belly in the pubic area, I began my licking, sucking and rhythmic bobbing of my head on his shaft. My production of saliva went into overtime and started flowing down into his pubes and scrotum. By the noises coming from Juan, I knew that this was going to be a quick love session, and so I started to play with his scrotum, and gently caress his balls, working my fingers down the perineum towards his hole. I lubricated a finger with saliva, and immediately pressed into his opening where my finger made contact with a very full and enlarged prostate. It only took a few finger massage strokes and Juan raised himself up, his body went rigid, the cock and head enlarged and I received a beautiful gift from the heart of Juan. I did not quickly swallow his cum but rolled it over and over in my mouth to savor the flavor, still a little tangy, but loving every bit of it. I swallowed and letting go of my lover's love tool, I turned around and asked:
"Juan, did you already cum?"
He smiled and very innocently said "yes, but didn't you taste it?"
I answered that I was only playing around with him, and planted a nice warm kiss on his lips, uttering, "Thank you God, and thank you Juan".
We cuddled into each other, intertwined in our arms. We remained silent in the glow of our love-making, and uttering a further prayer deep and quietly in my mind of thanks for the gift of Juan and asking God to take care of his family. It wasn't too long a time when Juan informed me that he really needed to go home as the time was getting late. With a bit of sadness, we disengaged and continued to put back on our clothes followed by my quickly showing Juan a section of the house where I had an almost new and hardly used set of bunk beds. I asked Juan if he could use it in his home for his two younger children as a way of making more bedroom space. With genuine gratitude, he expressed yes, and would someday mention to his wife of meeting me for common non-sexual business of assisting me with my property chores, etc. Then he would invite me to his home for meeting his wife, children, and a nice evening dinner. With that, Juan left my home but not before we exchanged another kiss on each other's cheeks.
It was a wonderful final moment I spent in prayer that night before falling asleep. However, my mind was racing with all sorts of questions:
"Does a straight man want more than just oral sex?"
"Would Juan welcome a deep and passionate kiss?"
"How far would he want to take our sex?"
And then I felt in my mind and heart the gentle silencing by God of all my questions with His replacing my concerns with a reminder that He is the author of our love, and in good time, will allow to happen what is His Will. And so I fell into a quiet sleep, slowly holding on to my cock and masturbating. Whether I climaxed or not, I do not remember, but I awoke the next morning as a result of a wonderful dream with Juan passionately kissing me and playing a duet with our tongues that was so life-like. It was one of those wonderful dreams that when awakened, you just had a nice warm feeling and a smile on your face, wishing every day to begin as such. Being a realist, I know I must take into account the machismo of the Mexican culture where this exaggerated masculinity might conflict with the softer side of gay sexual love. One good thing going for Juan is his making no move to play a role of dominance. In fact, he is a well-mannered sensitive man who betrays some passiveness and has only total humble respect for me. I know this in my heart, and without putting it into words, I sense his sincerity. Likewise his being responsive to a God-centered love, even in his gay love desires and expressions, only affirms for me the choice of God for a man in my life.
This concludes the second chapter of Epiphany. Should you wish to make any comments or simply contact me with suggestions or questions or simply want to share personal experiences, please submit it to my email address at: wjromero@peoplepc.com or willieJess@peoplepc.com.
Please be kind and considerate as I am new at this type of writing.