AN EPIPHANY, Chapter 3 BY WILLIEJESS
Almost every day I discover something new about my faith in God, which I sometimes refer to as being married to God. The thought came to me that God wants me to experience the joy of sex in the setting of a life-long commitment to a monogamous partner. Let me explain further by stating that it was the start of a new day, and as I was waking up with a cock the size of a beer-can, (I know it's an exaggeration, but it seemed so being only half awake), and I couldn't hold out any more, the result of not masturbating for several days. I just had to stroke myself, and quickly too. Automatically I started lifting and spreading my legs, bringing them up to my chest which helped expose my hole to my searching finger. I wanted desperately to be fucked, and so settled in for finger fucking myself. A note I must point out, namely, that I am still a virgin as regards to anal intercourse. Anyhow, to go on, it wasn't long when my breathing started to be quick and short, and I started whimpering. My finger found my hard prostate nut, and this started to get my balls ready for discharge. I cried out to God to let me cum and cum hard. It wasn't long and I was pouring out his gift to me. As I relished in the wiping and tasting of my seed, that's when I realized that what I really needed was to be married and have a life partner to celebrate our sexual joy; to let him make love to me and likewise bring me to climax. Lost in my intimate moment with God, I thanked him, and asked if I could meet someone special to share in my life. It was the ringing of the phone that broke my quiet time, being none other than Juan asking if he could come over, and apologizing for calling so early in the morning before he started his work day. He had misplaced my number which accounted for his long absence of three weeks. We set up to meet for the later part of the afternoon when his work ended and prior to heading for home.
A short time later, he entered, and I leaned into him to kiss his lips, but couldn't bring myself to probe my tongue into his mouth. He returned a hug but it was without affection, almost duty bound. This was going to be the time to engage in some serious discussion about our gay love and our expectations, perhaps, more for my own benefit and to give some sense of direction to my own quest for love. After all, it was Juan who first introduced me into the euphoric high of oral sex, and I don't think I could ever forget that experience, nor would I want to, having no regrets. Now it was time to put words into our sexual behavior and see where we go from here instead of being swept off our feet in isolated encounters.
"Juan, do you enjoy kissing another man?"
His facial reaction spoke louder than words. Juan was too much oriented into heterosexual love, and really felt out of his element to engage in passionate kissing with a man. Nor could he enjoy groping another man, and experiencing delicate touches all over his naked body. Juan again expressed that he was not into gay sex. He simply wanted to rendezvous with me for a discreet session involving sucking him and bringing him to climax.
"Thomas, I just don't like gay sex, and in fact, since I have been coming to visit you for sucking, I find that I love my wife and appreciate her even more. She doesn't pleasure me like you do, but still, I love her and my marriage is with her and not you."
Wow, that brought me, `Mr. shocked-to-the-core Thomas', back to reality, and the better understanding of God's design or plan for both me and Juan. Here I was fashioning my own marriage with Juan, thinking of what I wanted, and not taking into account the desires of Juan himself. "Can I simply engage in oral sex and bring a man to his sexual bliss." "Do I want sex just for the sake of sex, or do I want more out of the relationship?" These were questions I was asking myself, the answer being that I want what God desires of me and for me. He wants me to be happy; he is the author of love in my life. And it is God who wants to bring me to the fulfillment of marital love.
"Thomas," questioned Juan, "Can I still come over for this kind of sex, groping his bulge, until you find someone for yourself?"
As action speak louder than words, I reached over and started to unbutton his pants, bringing them and the underwear down in one motion. Wrapping my fingers around his cock head, I very slowly combined kissing him and pulling back his skin. My tongue swept lightly over his slit and cleaned it of his initial precum.
"You have a beautiful cock, Juan, and I love you for sharing it with me."
I began kissing my way all around his head, shaft and balls while my dribbling saliva poured all around the crown ring, as I teased and played at his nerve bundle with my tongue. Juan directed my left hand to apply finger pressure to his hardened mound between his balls and his hole while I started slowly masturbating him as I continued to suck. I could feel his slight cock-thrusting motion in my mouth and started to take in his shaft as deeply as I could, while feeling his head at the entrance to my throat. Juan let me take him in while in a standing position, and soon both his hands were on my head as he steadied himself with only the hips making any motion. Juan started bending his legs at the knees, and now started with an upward cock motion. His breathing became labored, and I could actually feel the flow of his seed pumping upwards as his balls became buried deeply into his scrotum. And then his explosive discharge of sweet thick semen shot directly into my throat. I immediately backed off since I wanted to catch his second and third offering directly on my tongue and savor his wonderful taste. When I smiled at him, and kissed his cock for the wonderful gift, I asked Juan why he tasted so sweet. He raised my head, and simply said that he just had milk and a couple of hotdogs at his work place. Whatever the cause, Juan was delicious.
Juan promised to return the next day with his oldest son to take apart my set of bunk beds for his two youngest children. He knows, and above all, I know as well, that when the time comes for me to make a love commitment to a life partner, Juan will simply have to commit himself exclusively to his wife. That's when it will be a second honeymoon for both of them.
Everyone has had the experience of finding another door opening up new experiences when a former one closes. We only disagree at the source for the doors opening up. I, as a believing Christian, attribute the opening into new experiences to God, who uses natural events or occurrences to bring about a greater good. It so happened that in the absence of Juan during those silent three weeks, I have had another man contact me through the internet dating service after he viewed my profile. As usual, we started exchanging emails with responses to the other's questions in the desire of getting to know each other better. However, being much wiser as a result of Juan not telling me the truth initially, and falsifying his profile by stating he was a single man seeking another man for compatible love, I first apologized to my new male encounter for seeming to be a bit distrustful, and then fired away with all sorts of appropriate questions as regards his marital status, and his sexual orientation. Of course he understood very well my caution and the need for probing fact-finding questions and concerns. While he did not experience the same as my situation with Juan, still, he had somewhat similar experiences of not being told the whole truth and complete picture. When it comes to the situation of dating, anyone holding back and giving half-truths amounts to being deceitful. Such a person is merely trying to paint a false picture to inflate his ego. True love can only develop out of honest communication.
My second and new date had a week to spend at an Orlando time-share condo, and being alone, he invited me to spend what available time I could spare. I quickly accepted the invitation and sort of left it open as to when I would depart and return home. Here I am, a grown man, driving as an anxious young teen going out on his first date with all sorts of butterflies in his stomach. We both had agreed not to send photos of each other in order to experience a complete surprise at our first eye to eye contact. Some might have thought this to be imprudent, but we both recognized it as being a heightened anticipation for sharing in the moment of joy or complete disappointment. For me, it was also an act of faith and trust in the Almighty. If this is to be God's choice for me, who am I to disagree. If, on the other hand my new date is not in God's design, I will also know in due time. What this chance meeting did for both of us was to make us truly open to searching each other's mind, heart, soul and body, and to really date the way dating was meant to be, namely, discovering the chemistry between us and engaging in meaningful and intimate communication. The apartment door opened, and here before me was my giant exclamation point.
"Wow! And Hi handsome," I said. "You're every bit what I expected and more so."
He likewise responded, and with arms extended, I felt protected as he wrapped them around me with a soft embrace. We kissed on our cheeks, and walked over towards the living room sofa.
"We can get my things from the car later on, but right now, I just want to look at you, and if this doesn't sound stupid, I really would like to hold your hand."
"That's not stupid, and if it is holding hands you want, then I am sure we can arrange that." He made me feel comfortable and it felt right that I should be with him at this moment.
"Thank you" I uttered softly to myself, to which he responded, "for what?"
"Oh, no, no not you, but it was God to whom I was speaking."
"Well, I think you better tell me ahead of time, so that I know to whom you are speaking."
We both had a good laughed and this broke the initial tension. I mentioned to Jim that I too have a difficult time in recognizing God, his being elusive as he is. We both were so lost in our conversation with each other, sharing all sorts of good true-life experiences and happy memories, that it made us realize three hours had passed while sitting with each other, changing hand positions along with spontaneous kisses every once in a while. "Do you want to stay here, relax or take a shower while I prepare us something simple to eat, or should we go out?"
"I'm not taking a shower alone," I answered, "but if we both take one together, I'm afraid we'll not be eating tonight."
"OK, then it's out for dinner, and when we return, I'll help you carry your things upstairs."
We left the apartment like two uninhibited teens, holding hands, and not caring who observed us. When you are full of love, you don't care what the neighbors think, and besides, it is none of their business. Yes, this was the sentiment we both shared at the moment. After all, when in Paris, do as the Parisians. When in Orlando, the magnet for fun-loving tourist all over, you do as the tourist. Getting into Jim's car, I started to laugh, saying, "Maybe it's our mature age, but we both are not sporting boners!" "Wait till later my friend," answered Jim.
Traveling along State Road 192 in the Lake Buena Vista area of Orlando near the intersection of Inter-State 4, the visitor is exposed to Orlando's theme parks and a veritable smorgasbord of restaurants. Jim and I were trying to decide which type of food would satisfy our aching stomachs. We finally decided on Italian, and the restaurant selected proved to be a very wise choice. If any of the patrons observed us, they would have thought we knew each other our entire lives and were catching up on all the latest news and events in our lives. Conversation came naturally for each of us, and with lots of mutual topics to draw upon. We ended up having to take back to the condo half of our entree, and settled on finishing the remaining salads as dessert'. We never felt pressured to impress' one another, but kept the food selection ordinary and without the customary glass of wine. We both settled on iced tea as the drink of choice. It was now approaching ten PM, and time to return to the condo with the next day's lunches in our doggie boxes, and my few belongings taken from my car. We settled down with brief visits to the bathroom for brushing our teeth and taking care of personal business. Soon we nestled against each other on the sofa, while I rested my head upon Jim's left shoulder and arm. Jim then leaned over and removed my shoes with a brief tickle to my toes. I returned the favor and removed his shoes and socks, teasing him with "phew, stinky feet!"
"You're in a playful mood," Jim said.
"If you want the naked truth," I answered, "I'm in love, and I feel happy." Hearing that statement, Jim stood up, briefly kissed me on the lips, and started undoing my shirt buttons, saying: "Let's make you comfortable." He undid my pants, helping me to step out of them. I returned the kiss, and followed through with Jim and me standing only in our underwear. We both embraced, and kissed passionately, playing and probing with our tongues in a nice love duet. We now sported boners, and continued with kissing and grinding our swollen members together in a passionate love dance of sorts. Although it was 3 AM, the time to retire our tired bodies, still our awakened hearts made it more than a question of wanting to sleep or not. There was the invitation to a commitment. The urgency of the moment had us sliding off the other's underwear, and snuggling into each other's embrace under the bed covers. Jim reached over to turn out the light, and we resettled ourselves for a more comfortable sleep. Jim pushed himself back to my swollen member. I reached over his side to slowly fondle his shaft and balls. No words could say what our hearts felt, and we settled into what would be our first sleep together as lovers. It was not a question of having to perform and engage in wild sex. We simply wanted to relax in the comfort of our bodies pressing into each other. I am sure Jim could feel the pulsating reflexes of my cock as I rearranged it in his crack, and I continued holding on to his most sacred member. Eventually sleep would overtake us for a little nap before renewed and heightened sexual tension would find us engaged in love making. But that will happen when it happens, and for now we would fall asleep under the protection of the Divine Author of Love.