Disclaimer: Here I am again, sitting in front of another black Word document, waiting for inspiration to come along. Little pictures of Backstreet Boys dancing in my head. But yet, I don't know them, and I don't own them. And I don't know anyone they know. This is all fiction of course. This D-O-E-S-N-O-T deal with the killing/suicide of AJ MCLEAN! LET'S GET THAT STRAIGHT NOW! Any Backstreet Boys fan knows that AJ's real name is Alexander James ~underlines James 5 times for Nifty~ McLean. Yes, it says he killed himself but, he staged it, boo, I told you the truth, kill me now. But I have to have something to think about before I go to sleep so, this is real to me, just another world I can get lost in till it comes to an end. silverwings4ever@hotmail.com if you want to contact me, http://www.angelfire.com/music2/slipupwizshs/index.html if you want more stories or pictures of the characters or just about anything my little mind can come up with.
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And I Swear - Chapter 4
The next morning, James woke up at 5, as usual and slowly sat up, then fell back, straight on his back on the bed with a grunt. Finally when the alarm went off for 5:30 he slowly got out of bed and headed toward the bathroom.
After taking a shower, and shaving, James pulled his now long hair back into a ponytail and pulled on a new pair of boxers.
Crap!' James thought, All my clothes are in the dresser in the other room.'
James walked to his bedroom door and slowly opened it to see if Tom and Amy were asleep. `I can't keep being a chicken because of two people. Just get this over with, if they see, they see.' James thought and slowly opened his bedroom door completely and walked over to the dresser on the other side of the room, passing both Amy and Tom.
Grabbing out a pair of socks, a dark blue shirt, and a pair of black jeans out of the drawers of one of his dressers, he carefully closed the drawers and lightly walked back to his room on tip-toes to avoid waking either of the two up.
Just when he was about at his door Amy called out to him, "Hey, James, is that you?"
James stopped, with hand on door knob, "Yeah, it is, go back to sleep Amy, we'll talk later." And continued into his room.
"Wait," Amy said and sat up, "Where did you get those tattoos?"
"What tattoos?" James asked stupidly.
"The ones all over your back, arms, and chest." Amy said and looked James over.
"Ummm..." James looked for an answer that wouldn't give his background away. "Reckless days, when I used to be a rebel and didn't know any better, I regret them now, can you not tell anyone about them, please? It's embarassing to me." James lied, he didn't regret his tattoos, he could think of 15 more that he wanted, but didn't have the guts to leave town without reason.
"Oh, no, I won't tell, James. I'm sorry, it's just that, you keep to yourself a lot and nobody actually knows anything about your past, I was just wondering." Amy said.
James looked at Tom briefly before looking back at Amy over his shoulder. He turned around, "Come into my bedroom, I'll tell you, as long as you don't tell a sole, I'll have to kill you." James said and gave a small smile, indicating that he was joking.
Amy got up off the couch and quietly walked into James' room.
James sat down on the bed and sighed. "I guess it's best I tell someone anyway, I think it'll help me some."
Amy sat down beside James on the bed cross-legged and looked at him.
James was quiet for a minute, then spoke, "What kinda' music do you listen to, Amy?"
"Country, a little pop, when I can find a station, and christian." Amy replied, wondering where he was leading this conversation.
"You said a little bit of pop, so if I say a chorus of the song, you would probably recognize it, right?"
"Maybe, depends, I guess."
"Okay," James said. He went through his mind and decide what to sing. "I'll give you an easy one."
"Tell me why, ain't nothin' but a heart ache,
Tell me why, ain't nothin' but a mistake,
Tell me why, I never wanna' hear you say,
I want it that way."
"Oh, that is easy, that's the Backstreet Boys -- I Want It That Way." Amy said, sure of herself.
"You're right, can you tell me who the members of the group are, or do you know."
"Do you mean right now? Or when they started?"
"When they started." James said and looked at her, expecting her to get his clues at any moment.
"Kevin Richardson, Brian Littrell, Nick Carter, Howie Dorough, and AJ McLean." Amy said.
"You're right. And you know what happened to AJ right?"
"Yeah, he drank to much and became depressed, and killed himself."
"You're right, he did, AJ killed himself." James said and looked at the floor.
"What's wrong, James? You look a little down." Amy said and scooted closer to James.
"Do you know AJ's whole name?" James said and looked Amy straight in the eye.
"Alexander James McLean, I followed them a little when I was younger."
"Correct, and what ever happened to him again?" James asked.
"He killed himself." Amy said.
"No, he didn't." James said.
"Yes he did, it was all over the news for months, I remember, everybody was so sad."
"Amy take a good close look at me, who am I?"
Amy looked James over once, "You're James Scout, from California."
"You're right, but that's not what it says on my drivers license." James said and laughed.
James got up and walked over to the dresser in this bedroom, that was across from his bed. He opened the top drawer and tossed an old black leather wallet at Amy, "Look inside," James said, closing the drawer, not turning around, "And then tell me who I am." James hung his head and waited.
James heard the velcro on the wallet open and heard pages flip.
"You're..... You're.... You're......" Amy said, not being able to finish the sentence.
"Yep, I am, I'm Alexander James McLean, from Orlando, Florida, who killed himself in 2001 because of depression and drinking," James said and walked over to the bed and sat back on the bed. "I didn't kill myself, I wasn't even in the same hotel when that happened, I found a guy that looked like me and drew tattoos on him and left notes to all the guys and came here, to the smallest town in Texas, where no one would ever find me, I changed my name, my appearance, and attitude so that no one would be able to figure out that I once was an international pop star that had millions of dollars and sang every night to teenagers that were gullible enough that I was perfect in every way and I was to infallible if any of them ever met me."
James laid back on the bed, waiting for Amy's response.
Minutes passed, and neither spoke.
"But why?" Amy finally said.
"I was unhappy, I was depressed, I didn't want to be in the spotlight anymore. I love the stage, and singing and dancing, but, it was too much. The screaming, the fans, the hours it took, the money spent on something that wasn't even real, I began to hate it, and I wanted out. So, I found a guy, that was already dead in the alley, got him up to my room, made him look like me, and then left, with nothing more than my actual wallet and pictures of my family and friends."
"You could've just quit," Amy said. "Wouldn't that work?"
"No, it wouldn't have, I would still be in the spotlight whenever I walked outside my house. Every time I turned a corner some photographer would be standing next to a reporter wanting to know the who what when where and why I quit. It wasn't worth it."
"So why here? Why in this town? Why not some fancy city where you could have everything?" Amy asked.
"I wanted the most simple thing I could find, I decided on Texas because its Country, not Pop and R&B it's known for its Country singers, and rodeos... not its Pop stars."
Amy nodded, understanding why he picked Death's Stop.
"You do realize that you can't tell anyone, right? I'm still James Scout, who comes from California." James said and looked at Amy.
"Yeah, I do, that's a big thing for me to keep, but, I won't tell anyone James, I promise." Amy said and smiled. "I would like to know how you do some of those dances though." Amy laughed and hit James on the shoulder. "That would be wicked."
"All right, sometime I will teach you, but right now, I have to get to Jake's to help with the herd and branding." James said and pushed Amy off the bed, now leave, I have to get dressed." James laughed and watched Amy close the door behind her as she left.
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Send me word on what you think! silverwings4ever@hotmail.com