Christmas was so in the air. Technically, not really. It was actually in a couple weeks, but everyone was excited regardless. And this was our last week of school before we got out for winter break.
I was particularly excited because this was going to be my very first Christmas. Sure, I'd celebrated other Christmas's before. But this would be the first one I remembered and I was really excited.
I was expecting for it to go a lot better than last year, anyway. According to my friends, no one had fun. Something to do with a snow lodge and grudges or something....
"Okay so I'm thinking of throwing a party," Michelle stated.
We were all around the lockers like we normally were, just standing around talking.
"I guess all you guys really do is party around here," Vanessa said.
"Sweetie this is the Angst. We're all about parties," Michelle replied.
Well as long as I had known Michelle and her incessant need to throw parties, it was completely true.
"Anyway this won't just be any party. It'll be a New Years party," Michelle replied. "The first big party of the year which means it has to be really special."
"Well good luck with that," Alex said, opening his Sprite bottle.
"Actually I was kind of hoping that you guys would all help out," Michelle said in a fake sweet voice.
Everyone immediately shuffled uncomfortably.
"I mean, ordinarily I wouldn't dare let you guys handle planning for parties," Michelle started.
Everyone rolled their eyes.
"But if I want this to be the first and best party of the new year, then I'm gonna need a little help."
And with that she turned to see who would chip in.
"Oh well, I'd love to help, really I would, but I just remembered that Vanessa and I have that thing we have to plan for.....right Vanessa?" Krystal said.
At first, Vanessa looked as though she had no clue what her cousin was talking about. But she quickly caught on.
"Oh...right, " she replied. "Sorry Michelle."
"Huh, well okay bitches. Don't be looking for those expensive Christmas gifts from me under the tree now," Michelle teased.
And then she turned to rest of us.
"Oh well you know I'd help but I'm gonna be really busy at the restaurant working extra shifts. Newbie punishment, I guess," Jade said.
"Well that's understandable," Michelle replied. "I've seen how bad you can be at work. I'd make you work extra too."
Jade sighed and rolled her eyes.
And with all the girls out of the way, Michelle now turned her attention to us guys.
"I'm gonna tell ya straight up. I'm not helping you," Gino said sternly.
"Well I guess that makes sense, " Michelle said. "You don't strike me as the planning type."
Funny how she asked us to help, yet when we had an excuse not to, she had one too.
"Oh and Alex you're of the hook too. I've seen your work."
"Yes!" Alex exclaimed.
That just left Adam and I.
Everyone turned to us with expectant looks.
I didn't want to be rude and say no to Michelle, especially when I didn't have a valid reason to. Plus she'd been a pretty good friend to me. Her less outstanding qualities not withstanding.
"Sure, why not," I reluctantly agreed to volunteer my services.
Hopefully I wasn't selling my soul to the Michelle.
Now everyone was staring at Adam with expectant stares.
I noticed that Vanessa seemed to be staring at him the hardest. Hell, she probably wanted him to say no.
Then again, looking at it from her perspective, her boyfriend, if he said yes, would be agreeing to spend a lot of time with two of his ex's.
"What the hell. It'll be fun," Adam replied.
Now I was definitely a lot more excited about the whole thing. Working with Adam would definitely be a lot of fun. Maybe too much fun if I played my cards right.
"Okay so now I need to go and get everything ready for the planning." Michelle mumbled to herself walking off, followed by Jade, Vanessa and Krystal.
Which left us guys all alone.
Adam turned to look at me. He smiled a little before he said anything.
"Working with Michelle, let's hope we don't kill ourselves before it's over with," he said.
"Or her," I added.
We both laughed while Alex stared at us with raised eyebrows.
"Okay I know that look," I said.
"Look? What look?" Alex asked playfully.
"What?"
"Nothing...just thinking about last year and how I didn't even know either of you were gay."
"Well you're forgetting who's not anymore, aren't you?" Gino pointed out.
Adam and Gino exchanged somewhat hateful glances before I decided to intervene before things got worse.
"Come on, let's all get to class," I said.
"Good idea," Alex added.
I made sure to stand between Adam and Gino.
I didn't want Gino adding Adam to his list of will-fight boys. He already had Chris on it. I was still pissed at the both of them for getting into that fight on the senior trip that night. And even though it happened a few weeks ago, Chris and Gino had each been trying to get back on my good side. And I admit, I had basically forgiven them. But I also kept a closer eye on the both of them as well.
It was almost like......like a rivalry I seem to have been remembering from last year. Between Gino and Adam. And I didn't have a clue what that was about then either.
But now there was someone new in on the whole mix of things.
I just hoped that the end of this 'rivalry' didn't end like it did last year.
"I'm not rewriting anything, Stephen," I argued.
The guy was determined, I'll give him that. But if he expected me to write like the devil himself was stabbing me with his little...... speary needle thing, then he had another thing coming.
"I really want to get this paper out before we all leave-"
"I understand that Stephen. I just don't see why you can't take what I already have and edit it in," I cut in.
Stephen sighed with agitation and crossed his arms staring at me.
"What about you wanting to write about some big scandal, huh? Where is that at?" Stephen asked.
True, I think I did mention something along those lines to him. But a week was a week and I sure as hell knew that the chances of finding some huge scandal to write about in one weeks time was going to be next to none.
"Look, I'm not asking you to jump through hoops here," Stephen started, sounding a lot more calm.
No, just to walk on water.
"Just think of what something more interesting than what you gave me will do for the whole school. They'll all read about what happened, have two weeks to spread it around like the plague, and come back talking about it like little crazed rabbits."
I had yet to understand Stephen's irrational way of thinking in the entire few weeks that I'd known him. Maybe it was a junior thing. Surely given two weeks AWAY from school, most likely everyone would forget, not spend their time talking about it over the phone. And speaking of which, I still had no idea what this 'it' was supposed to be. Sure it was some kind of scandal. But what kind?
"I thought this was a school paper, not the National Enquirer," I said, moving past Stephen and over to my computer area.
I couldn't see him, but I knew Stephen was in tow.
"There's no denying that the school paper has been a bit lacking in the entertainment department," he started.
Yeah, there wasn't any denying that fact.
"Brandon, don't you wanna make your last year in high school mean something? Don't you wanna look back and say one day 'hey, I created and wrote about the biggest high school scandal ever'. We need you."
"And people in hell need ice water," I sighed starting to walk across the room, Stephen following. "You're not convincing me here."
All I wanted to do was concentrate on getting through this last week of school before the two week break. Not about writing some 'scandal', which would definitely not be happening throughout the course of a simple week.
"Brandon-" Stephen started.
"Look, I'll tell you what," I started.
Anything to ease his obviously work obsessed mind.
"I will look for some kind of....scandal, for you. Hell, if it comes down to it, I might just have to start one for ya."
"Really?"
"Sure, why not," I replied.
I'm sure I've been involved in my fair share of scandals before. Why did this week have to be any different?
"Alright then," Stephen said, smiling. "I guess were set."
I'd hate to have to let him down. If worse came to worse, then I'd have to stick to my word and create a scandal for him. I just hoped that whatever it was, it wouldn't cause too much trouble for anyone.
Gino had a problem. And he knew it. He had a really big problem. And his name was Chris.
It was just like last year when Adam seemed to be his competition. Only this time it was Chris. He still wasn't sure what Chris's deal was exactly. But it was obvious to him that Chris would be interested' in Brandon as long as he knew that he was too.
And he blamed Chris for a lot of other things too. For one thing, Chris had manged to get closer to Brandon this year than he had, in more ways than one. And it also seemed like Chris wanted to replace him somehow.
And of course who could forget the latest reason he had to hate Chris in the fact that because of him, Brandon had been all but avoiding him the past few weeks. That bothered him more than anything. Ever since school had started, he and Brandon had managed to grow further and further apart. And Chris had only managed to make it worse. Before the fight and after the fight.
If there was anything positive about the situation, it was that at least Brandon hadn't really been speaking to Chris as well.
But now he had bigger problems. Now it seemed like Brandon was not only starting to remember some of his past, but was starting to remember his feelings for Adam as well.
At least he knew that Adam wasn't as underhanded as Chris.
Chris was the bigger problem. The one he needed to take care of first.
"Okay so how do I look?" Alex surprised me.
I turned from my locker to face my best friend.
"Alex, what the hell are you wearing?"
Shockingly enough, my ultra macho best friend was dressed in ultra tight green tights with an ultra short....kilt...dress...something. He looked like and overgrown elf!
"See, I knew you were gonna say that," Alex replied, placing his back on the row of lockers next to me.
"Well what did you expect," I laughed. "Besides, why are you dressed like that now anyway? Christmas isn't for another two and a half weeks from now."
"Blame it on the coaches damn obsession with Ms. Andrews," Alex replied. "Every guy on the team has to dress like this for some fucking theater arts photo shoot or some shit."
"Well cheer up man," I replied, patting Alex on the shoulder. "You don't look TOO gay at least."
"Whatever man, this shit is coming straight off once we get it all over with," Alex mumbled.
I chuckled and turned back to my locker.
"Oh man oh my, have YOU seen my little gay leprechaun?" Chris spoke, walking up to the other side of me.
"Chris?"
"What the hell do you want, asshole?" Alex asked.
"In due time. But first, what the hell is up with the tights?" Chris asked, chuckling while rubbing his chin. "Let me guess, you're in drag?"
"Guess again, dumbass," Alex replied. "You need help with something?"
He was glaring heavily at Chris and even as I was somewhat holding him back, I could feel him pushing against my hand to try and lunge at Chris.
"Keep that....creation on much longer, and that'll be a question you'll hear a lot today," Chris joked.
My hold on Alex tightened as I felt him trying harder. It was like he wanted me to hold him back but at the same time, he wanted to hit Chris. We both knew he was stronger than I was, so it was taking an incredible amount of strength on my part to keep him held back.
"Chris, what do you want," I asked, making sure he could sense my frustration with his presence.
And it was obvious that he picked up on it, because his some what smug grin faded as he turned to me, looking a bit uncomfortable and more serious.
"I was hoping maybe we could talk," he replied.
"Oh come on," Alex grumbled.
Both Chris and I looked over at Alex before turning our attention back to each other.
"Look, Chris, I don't wanna talk to you right now. All you do is antagonize people."
Chris sighed with frustration. It looked like he wanted to say something to me, but with Alex standing here, it also seemed like he was keeping up his guard or something.
"Look I don't antagonize people..."
"No, just start fights," I interjected.
"Brandon, I don't start-"
"You were starting one when I first met you!"
Chris probably knew he couldn't argue with that because we both knew what I was talking about.
"If you'd just let me explain-"
"You can try, but no one's gonna believe you, trust me."
I turned to see Gino walking up behind Chris, adding to the already uncomfortable situation.
"Oh great, what is this, a two idiots for one special?" Chris mumbled.
"Funny, I only see one idiot," Gino mumbled, turning to me. "Was he bothering you?"
"No, he wasn't bothering me Gino," I replied, annoyed. "And what do you want?"
"Actually, I was hoping we could-"
"Brandon, listen," Chris started.
He'd not only cut Gino off, but to get his point across, he blocked my vision of Gino by getting in front of him.
"You don't understand how much I wanna make things right. What can I do?" he asked.
Looking into his eyes, he looked sad somewhat, like he really wanted me to talk to him like I used to.
And seeing as though it was obvious he and Gino were at odds, I figured I needed to separate them before something else happened between them.
"Come on, let's go talk," I said, turning to leave.
Chris smiled a little before joining my side and walking with me.
"Dammit!" Gino exclaimed, slamming his foot into the row of lockers.
"He has a way of making people feel like that," Alex sighed, slouching against the lockers.
Gino ran his fingers through his hair and let out an annoyed sigh.
"What's with the leprechaun fag suit?" Gino asked.
"ELF, stupid! And you're right, I do look gay, that's already been established," Alex replied.
Gino couldn't be bothered to think too much about Alex's outfit. He was still thinking about Chris.
"You know, I just figured with Adam straight again, that you'd tell Brandon what you failed to tell him last year, and hook up," Alex said.
Gino turned to him and stared for a few moments before responding.
"So now you're rooting for me to shag your best friend?" he asked. "I mean last year-"
"I was still trying to get used to having a gay best friend," Alex interrupted. "That and I was a lot more immature."
Gino stared as Alex continued.
"Brandon just seems so......lost this year," Alex continued. "He needs someone, and it doesn't look like that someone is gonna be Adam."
"What about Chris?"
Alex's face turned a dark shade of hate.
"I'll kill Chris before I let him use Brandon."
Gino actually found himself afraid of Alex because he very much believed that he WOULD kill anyone who ever hurt Brandon like they all had last year, including himself.
"Well I know Chris is trouble," Gino replied. "But why exactly do you hate him?"
Alex looked past Gino for a moment as if he were recovering something from his past.
"What do you think?" he rhetorically asked.
Gino had some ideas, but knew that whatever idea's he had probably would come nowhere close to what the real problem between them was.
"So what are we gonna do about Chris?" Alex asked, blatantly changing the subject.
Gino let out a sigh.
"Well I have a few resolutions on my list for next year," he replied. "Getting Brandon to finally be my boyfriend is at the top of it."
"Okay so thanks to Paris Hilton's single digit i.q., I now have the numbers of like every major celebrity in Hollywood," Michelle said, as she whizzed past Adam and I.
School was over and it was around six at night. We were at some place Michelle had us come with her to check out as a place to host the party and had been for a good thirty minutes.
"Michelle, you always talk about how you're gonna pay some celebrity to come to this and that party but they never do," Adam said, sounding as bored as I felt.
"Okay Mr. News At Five," Michelle stated before stopping abruptly. "You know what, I think I'm gonna go check out the upstairs again. Be right back."
And with that, Adam and I were left alone downstairs.
"She really takes this shit seriously," Adam chuckled.
"I think it's the highlight of her life now," I replied, laughing as well.
For a few moments, Adam and I just stared into each others eyes before Adam broke off the staring.
"So, got any new years resolutions?" he asked.
Well I had quite a few. For one thing, I wanted more than anything to have my old memory back. Before, I used to tell myself that I could care less whether I got it back or not and that I wanted to make new memories without the old ones.
But I was starting to feel otherwise for several reasons. The one that was starting to bug me the most was the way it seemed like everyone in my life was desperate for me to be safe and happy now that I couldn't remember what happened to me. Kind of like they were afraid I'd abandon them if I really knew the truth. It was probably why my friends were so clingy and why my parents hadn't forced me to go talk to someone about my obvious problems.
"A few," I replied, smiling back at Adam.
"Funny how much difference a year can make," Adam replied.
And even I knew just how much that statement actually meant. Everyone's lives had changed in some way since this time last year, not just mine. And I was starting to feel those changes. Even if I couldn't remember them exactly, I could feel them. And for now, that was good enough for me.
"So what about you? You have any resolutions yet?" I asked.
Adam seemed to ponder the question for a while before replying.
"I just want everyone in my life to be happy, that's all," he replied.
I wondered if he knew that that was almost an impossible thing to wish for, as none of us were ever going to stay happy. There would always be something or someone to bring us down. It never failed.
"Okay, question," Michelle spoke, as she came back from upstairs and walked towards us. "What do you guys think about having a bunch of midgets dressed up as elves as the waiters?"
"I say there's a better chance that the food is coming from the ground," I replied.
That low to the floor, anything could happen.
"I'm gonna need the both of you to do me a favor and pick up the center piece Christmas tree for me," Michelle spoke.
Adam and I exchanged glances. We both knew what we were getting ourselves into when we volunteered to help Michelle.
"Don't go to that place on fifth, I think the guy who runs the place used to be on America's Most Wanted or something," Michelle said to our already turned backs. "The eye gouger they call him. At least I think so.....hey are you listening to me?"
Chris liked to get stuff done early. And admittedly, he had dropped the ball when it came to Christmas shopping this year. He normally had everything he wanted bought before the end of November.
But this year he had someone extra to shop for.
Brandon.
It wasn't like he had to get him something overly expensive or anything. He just wanted to make sure that he got him something nice. Not just any other Christmas gift any other person would get.
Which is why he'd chosen to shop at a nice little shop just a few miles south of the local mall. It would be less crowded for one thing and also because they had more unique gifts.
Only, he'd been in the store for well over an hour and still couldn't decide what to get. He would have liked to think that he knew Brandon. But the truth was, Brandon was a complicated guy. Or at least, he appeared to be. There was no way he'd be able to figure out what to get him after only knowing him a few months. At least not a gift that would be perfect.
His thoughts were jumbled, however, when he spotted two familiar and unexpected faces.
"Ladies," he said, walking over to Krystal and Vanessa.
Neither of the girls looked too thrilled to see Chris.
"Maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away," Krystal said, making sure Chris heard her.
"Oh come on, it's Christmas time. A time to be loving and charitable. Where's the love?" Chris asked. "I'm not seeing the love."
"Really?" Krystal asked as sarcastically as possible.
"Despite what you wanna think, I'm actually one of the good guys," Chris replied.
"In what universe?" Krystal replied.
Chris made a notion as if he were air-licking Krystal who rolled her eyes.
"I'll go look for that scarf," she replied, leaving her cousin alone with Chris.
"Did you two go out or something?" Vanessa asked. "Like a long time ago?"
"Believe it or not I actually have GOOD taste in women," Chris replied.
Vanessa took the answer for what it was worth and moved on.
"So what are you really doing here? Christmas shopping or-"
"Okay you got me. I'm broke and need some cash. So I'm here to rob the place," Chris smiled. "Yes, even I Christmas shop."
Vanessa nodded.
"So I guess you and Krystal are doing the same, huh?" Chris asked, looking over the shopping cart in Vanessa's hand.
"Yeah well, Krystal loves her unique gifts," Vanessa replied. "She only comes here to get stuff for all the 'special' people in her life."
"I can understand that," Chris replied.
"So who's your special person?" Vanessa asked.
Chris looked up at her, caught a bit off guard.
"Why do you think I'm only shopping for one person?" Chris asked.
"Well," Vanessa started. "You don't have a shopping cart or one of those little baskets. And you look like you've been here a while."
Chris couldn't deny how intuitive the girl was. But he could deny her claims.
"Yeah, I don't know," he replied. "There's so many little people I have to thank this time of year. The janitor at school. The fat girl that used to sit next to me on the bus in fifth grade. My-"
"Okay, so I get the picture," Vanessa replied, starting to slowly push the shopping cart down the aisle they were in, Chris following.
"And I guess one of those ridiculously overpriced items in there is for that boyfriend of yours," Chris said, the distaste evident in his voice.
"There's something for everyone," Vanessa replied.
"Oh does this mean Santa will be bringing me something from you?" Chris asked sarcastically.
Vanessa and Chris bypassed a couple of kids fighting over the same toy as the exited the aisle and turned to the main path.
"It sounds to me like you're not really in a good mood," Vanessa replied.
"Well anything your boyfriend and his two idiot friends can do to help my bad mood along-"
"They don't start fights with people," Vanessa replied.
"Neither do I. I was provoked," Chris replied.
"Oh so that's the story," Vanessa replied. "And how exactly does Brandon feel about that?"
Chris looked over at Vanessa.
"Brandon? Why him?"
"He's the only one who doesn't seem to want to beat the hell out of you all the time. I guess he must actually like you."
Chris smiled inwardly at the the thought.
"I've known him a while now and still have no idea who he is exactly," Chris replied.
"Well if I'm gonna hand out free advice, I wanna be sitting while I do it," Vanessa replied, taking a seat on one of the benches near the end aisles.
Chris stopped as well and took a seat next to her.
"I take it you're here shopping for him, right?" she asked.
Chris nodded slightly.
"Brandon doesn't seem to me like the type to be easily swooned with an expenisive gift," Vanessa replied. "All I know is that if you like him, you gotta let him know it. If you're meant to be, then you have to know when to not let anyone else get in the way."
Chris crossed his arms and turned a little towards Vanessa.
"My my my, pushing me into the arms of Brandon," he said. "Adam really must want him back."
"What?"
"I mean, if you want Brandon to have someone so much, then why not who he really wants?"
Vanessa seemed a bit thrown by the conversation but didn't get a chance to respond as Krystal made her way back over to the two of them, Vanessa and Chris stood up.
"Well, I'll settle for a watch or something," Chris said. "Thanks for the advice V. Maybe you should use it yourself sometime."
Vanessa watched as Chris walked off.
"So....this is it," Adam said as he pulled up to the side of my house.
"Yeah," I replied.
Truth be told, I didn't want to get out of the truck. Beside the fact that it was brand new and still had that new car smell, I didn't want to get out because I didn't want to not be alone with Adam. I was never alone with Adam anymore. Now that I actually wanted to be alone with him, I couldn't, either because of my clingy friends or his clingy girlfriend.
And spending time with Adam lately seemed to be helping me to remember some of the feelings I'd felt this time last year. Not just romantic feelings towards him but feelings in general. Like how I felt about the Christmas season. Or how I felt about shopping for Christmas trees. The feelings felt familiar. And they were there. The memories, however, still weren't. I just got the strongest sense that if I stayed with Adam long enough, he'd be the one to help me get back the memories I was now desperate to get back.
"Uh, so I had fun tonight," Adam replied.
"Yeah, between being Michelle's whipping boys and running her errands, tonight wasn't bad at all," I replied, smiling.
And then there was a silence. A familiar silence. One that I knew that I used to be comfortably sharing with Adam once before, as the two of us stared into each others eyes.
I wasn't sure what had come over me, but something had, as I felt myself moving closer to Adam's face. The closer I got, the more panicked I felt. But I fought back the feeling as I closed my eyes, ready to kiss Adam for the first time again.
For his part, Adam hadn't done anything to move away either. I wasn't sure if he was expecting the kiss or not, but once our lips connected, I knew that he wanted it just as badly as I did.
The kiss itself was brief, but only because Adam had slowly moved away.
"I can't.......Vanessa........."
"Right," I replied. "Sorry."
"No......I mean-"
"I should go," I replied, getting out of the car.
"I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, sure," I replied , unevenly, turning towards my front door.
Even though Adam had broken the kiss, I had felt the passion he'd put into it and knew, he had wanted it.
The rest of the week went as smoothly as it could have. Adam and I continued to help Michelle with her plans for the party, but Adam always made up an excuse to not have to be alone with me. Probably more for his sake than anything. He was probably afraid that we might not just stop at a simple kiss if we had time and were alone like that again.
I was a bit disappointed with his decision to do that, but I understood it.
What I didn't understand, was Vanessa's behavior, however. I wasn't sure what happened to turn her into the always-there cling on girlfriend she used to border on being, but now she as really starting to bug me.
For starters, she called Adam at least once every hour whenever he and I were together with Michelle planning for the party. And she did whatever she could to keep Adam on the phone for the longest amount of time possible.
Then there was the way she suddenly just HAD to have Adam holding her damn hand all the fucking time. Like she can't walk her own god damn self to class!
Sure that stuff wouldn't be considered clingy in its own right, but the way Vanessa always seemed to be.....like if I came into a room where she and Adam hadn't been holding hands previously, she'd suddenly have it the next time I looked up.
Ironically, I was starting to hate her, even though it was Christmas time.
But given the fact that today was the last day of the week and the only day besides New Years that I'd have to put up with Vanessa, I put those feelings aside. For the time being.
"Okay so a few minor grievances aside, I definitely think were on par to have the best party of the new year," Michelle spoke.
Today we were all in the crowded student lounge conversing, which was a change from the normal table at lunch or at someones lockers. It felt nice to sit on actual leather while we talked for a change. And to be sipping on a frothy latte.
"Hopefully it'll be an event free party, too," Jade added. "Something always manages to go wrong at every social event."
Yes from what I heard, their were fights, near rapes, and people almost dying on bungee cords just to name a few. Those were some of the things I was actually glad I didn't remember. No one wants to remember bad things.
"You know Jade, you're absolutely right," Michelle concurred. "Things don't exactly go well whenever we get together, but it's normally one of our faults."
No one could deny that. It had been my own fault that things had gone wrong a few times since I'd waken up from the coma, that I couldn't deny.
"So let's all make a pact...like a formal new years resolution...to try and make every event of the new year go as smoothly as possible," she finished.
We all looked amongst each each other to see whether or not this was something we wanted to agree on. I had to admit, it seemed like a good idea. But since it had come out of Michelle's mouth, I had to be wary.
"Well, I mean we can try," Krystal started, looking over at Adam who looked over at me.
"That we can," I added, looking back at Adam.
"In the Angst, I don't even think that's possible," Alex blurted out.
Jade slapped him across the back of his head in which he acted as though it had actually hurt.
"Brandon!"
I didn't even have to turn around as I knew exactly who had called my name.
But I did turn around and watched as a very pissed off looking Stephen fought his way through the crowd to try and get to me.
"Quick, somebody hide me!" Jade said, trying to move past Vanessa to get to the side of the couch.
"You? What about me?" I spoke starting to get up.
"Come on then!" Jade exclaimed.
"You two, are seriously demented, you know that?" Alex chuckled.
Jade and I had barely managed to make it out into the hallway before Stephen managed to catch up with us.
For a little junior, he sure was quick.
Jade was lucky, as a large group of band members, who were carrying their instruments from the band hall to take home with them for the next two weeks, passed, and she was able to blend in with them and walk away, making sure to mouth the words 'I'm sorry!' as she did.
I stuck my tongue out at her in anger before turning to face the even more pissed off looking Stephen.
"Where's this big scandal of yours you were supposed to be writing about?" were the first words out of his mouth.
"Stephen, please tell me you're really not that desperate," I replied. "There are other writers for the paper, you know."
"They have their jobs, you have yours," Stephen replied. "And I'm still waiting for the article that's supposed to blow me away."
"Looks like you're gonna be waiting for a couple of weeks then," I started, as I turned and began to walk down the hall. "Because I'm not writing shit."
I heard Stephen sigh angrily before the next thing I knew, he was at my side and walking with me.
"Is this what I have to look forward to as a senior next year?" Stephen asked. "A life of rebellion and uninspiring ineptitude."
"At least you have your smarts," I smiled. "Be happy with that."
Secretly I was wishing that someone, ANY freaking ONE would come and save me from Stephen. Truthfully, he was a pretty cool guy, when we weren't talking about the paper.
And if he really wanted a scandal, maybe I would have to get involved. Would the mysterious poisoning of star football athlete Adam Ventura's skank girlfriend be scandalous enough for him?
"We'll to tell you the truth, I don't really think the papers up to get out anyway," Stephen replied. "I mean, it would have been out if I wasn't so busy with school. And then there's work-"
"Speaking of which, how's Jade doing? Has she finally learned how not to screw up everyone's orders?" I asked.
I noticed that Stephen seemed to get a bit rigid with the mention of Jade. I mean, I knew they didn't like each other, but I really had no idea why? The way I saw it, they were a perfect match. They were both equally as brilliant and pushy. And they'd definitely look good together.
"Whoever told her she'd be good working at a restaurant seriously needs their ass kicked," he finally said.
"Come on, she can't be that bad," I said.
"You're right," Stephen replied. "You're absolutely right. She's worse."
I sighed as a smile formed on face.
"And it's bad enough she doesn't make enough to get tipped in. And plus she's bossy and stuck up and-"
I stopped paying attention once I noticed Chris at his locker.
"Hey, uh, Stephen..I'll talk to you later, kay," I said, heading towards Chris.
"And tell her to stop washing her hair so damn much. I might be allergic to the smell of papaya now!" I heard Stephen calling after me.
"Hey," I said carefully, approaching Chris.
"Hey," he replied, looking a little bit surprised to see me.
It suddenly occurred to me that this would be the last time I saw Chris until the party on New Years so I felt a little nervous to be around him. And I could tell that Chris was in one of his moods, which was evident in the way he was dressed, which was totally plain and unimaginative.
"Look, Chris I-"
I had started to talk just as Chris had and stopped and looked up at him.
"Sorry, you go," I said.
"No you first," Chris replied.
I let out a small sigh before placing my back on the row of lockers next to him.
"The past few weeks have been....well rough," I replied.
Chris nodded in understanding.
"I mean, for everyone. And with me the way I've been....well I haven't been making things easier for anyone," I continued.
"No..Brandon...you're just-"
"I know," I finished for him. "I wish you would just tell me what my friends seem to have against you."
After I'd said it, I wanted to take it back, as the look on Chris's face told me that it was the wrong thing to say. He honestly look as if he wanted to beat my ass, but all of a sudden, he relaxed. probably containing himself for my sake.
"Did you ever stop to think that maybe there is no problem and your friends are just making shit up?" Chris asked.
"Well, I'm not just making things up in my head. There's obviously a problem-"
"Yeah, but with who?" Chris asked, shutting his locker.
Now it was my turn to get mad. If he wanted to play jack ass, then I had every right to get upset.
"Didn't you and Gino...not to mention Alex and Adam, all get into a fight?" I asked rhetorically.
"Depends on who started it," Chris replied. "But oh wait, let me guess, you take the side of your boyfriend and his two pussy best friends!"
"Adam isn't.....this isn't about that!" I replied, a bit taken back by Chris's choice of words.
"Oh really huh?" Chris asked, crossing his arms. "I see the way they all look at you. They worship you!"
"None of them are gay, remember?" I replied.
"Who said anything about them being gay? Although, if a guy goes from straight to gay to straight again all within a year, I really think he has a few issues there, wouldn't you agree?"
This conversation was beginning to go places that I could barely wrap my mind around. I wasn't even sure where any of this was coming from, but it was really beginning to make me think about a lot of things.
"And I really think you ought to keep a closer eye on those other two friends of yours," Chris replied. "You just might be out of the loop when it comes to them."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. "Do you know something I don't?"
Chris sighed and ran his fingers through his hair and looked around a bit before turning his attention back to me.
"I don't want to fight with you, Brandon," Chris replied. "And I don't really wanna bad mouth your friends in front of you, it's just when you defend all three of them like their a bunch of straight laced saints, it gets to me."
And I realized that I too needed to calm down a lot and consider things from Chris's point of view. After all, I was blindly defending Alex, Adam, and Gino, when I'd 'known' them about as long as I had known Christian. I had every reason to believe that maybe there was more to the story than I knew. I couldn't just assume Chris was in the wrong. And something was telling me that maybe he was right. Maybe my friends did have secrets they weren't telling me.
"I just.....I see you and how you act around me...it's completely different than the way you act around them," I replied.
Chris was silent for a few moments and I stood wondering whether or not I'd said something else to piss him off.
But he eventually looked back over at me and regained his composure.
"There's....a lot of things you don't know," he started. "About me. And your friends."
"I know that," I replied.
"I don't think I could ever do what you want me to and be friends with them," he replied, meekly.
"I know."
I did know. And he shouldn't have had to try and be their friends if there was a reason in his past that was preventing him from doing so. I just wished that he would let me in on whatever the secret was that he wasn't sharing with me.
"I just...I try with you, you know," Chris started, turning to place his own back on the row of lockers behind him. "I'm so much different now than the person I used to be."
"And who was that?" I asked.
Chris just shrugged the question off.
"It's just, from that time I met you back in California, there was just something inside me that kept telling me that you were different. It kept telling me that you were someone that I had to get to know. And I knew that if I got to know you, that I was going to have to try and be a completely different person."
It occurred to me that Chris was trying to tell me that since meeting me, he had basically changed his entire personality to be with me. The real question was, what type of personality did he have before?
I knew that Chris wasn't exactly the easiest of people to get along with, but I could sense the effort, and that alone is probably what had attracted me to Chris in the first place.
And even though I was no longer interested in him sexually, me wanting his friendship was something I wanted more than a sexual relationship.
"I hope you didn't change who you are," I responded. "You didn't have to change everything-"
"That's just it," Chris replied, cutting me off "I did. If I wanted to be friends with you, I mean."
Wanted. Met. Words to describe the past. I wasn't sure why he was talking that way, but I wanted to find out.
"So.....what are you saying?" I asked. "Are you saying that you want me to choose between my friends and you?" I asked.
"No, that's not it!" Chris exclaimed, lifting himself off of the lockers and getting in front of me.
"Then what, because I'm not understanding what's so hard about our friendship," I replied.
Which was true, in a way. I knew that based on the way things were working now, they couldn't stay that way forever. Someone was going to have to do something about the situation and I wanted to know if that was what Chris was trying to tell me.
"I'm just saying that we need to figure out a way for me to be friends with you, but not jepardize your relationship with your friends," Chris replied.
Once again, he didn't seem to be seeing what I was seeing.
"Chris, with them always mad at you and you always mad at them, that isn't gonna work," I replied.
"Then ask him," Chris replied. "In fact, why don't you ask all three of them?"
I crossed my arms and stared at Chris with a confused look on my face.
"Ask them what?"
Chris turned around and walked a few steps away from me as if he were debating some internal struggle before turning back towards me.
"Why don't you ask them what's going on, because you don't see it and if you don't see it, there's never gonna be a reason for them to tell you."
"Tell me what?" I asked.
It looked as though Chris wanted to tell me himself whatever it was he wanted me to ask the three of them. Bust instead he shook his head slowly before running his hand over his mouth.
"Look, they all have problems okay!"
"And?"
"Like with Adam. You don't think I noticed how much you wanna get back with him?" Chris asked. "Vanessa's not stupid. She knows it. I know it. Adam probably knows it."
"Wait, so this is about Adam?" I asked.
"Not really, but if you wanna talk about him, we can. Like the way you're so obviously meant to be together and how everyone sees it but the both of you."
"Hey I do see it, okay. I...we kissed the other night and-"
"What?" I heard Vanessa suddenly ask.
I turned, a bit horrified to see Vanessa standing behind me, along with Adam, Michelle, Gino and Krystal.
"Adam..." I started.
Adam looked like he wasn't exactly sure who to attend to first, although his eyes really never left mine.
I noticed Gino seemed to look a little upset. And Vanessa looked a little heartbroken...but from the look on her face, it was almost like it wasn't that big of a shock to hear.
Despite all this though, the one thing that we all undeniably felt was the tension that surrounded us, even with the halls as filled with people as they were.
The bell rang a moment later and no one made a move to leave, as we all just kind of stood there.
"Okay......so.......see everyone at the party then?" Michelle said, breaking the silence.
I looked over at Adam. This was definitely going to be one rocky new year.
A/N
As of lately, I've been having quite a few computer problems. I've backed up all my work as data on a couple of cd's in the event I lose my entire hard drive. But if anything major happens, I mihgt have to take an extended break from Angst. All I'm asking is that you all be patient with me. That would help out a lot.
In the meantime, my YahooGroup in case you have yet to visit it, located at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoJoPresents-GayFiction/, has extra episodes in the event that I wont be able to update here anymore, so check it out. And as always, any questions or complaints regarding the story can be sent directly to me at:crossingboi2004@yahoo.com. I reply to all emails usually within 48 hours.
Copyright 2005