Angst

By Jo Jo

Published on Jul 7, 2004

Gay

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not write about frank sexual situations, nor do I have any desire to.

This is a story about teen love and discovery. Still though, it is a gay work of fiction.

If such work offends you or you are not old enough to read in your area, then do not continue reading.

Please do not copy and paste onto another website without emailing me first. In most cases I'd be glad to let you post on another site, as long as you ask first!

Angst Episode 4 "The First/Last Time"

Adam awoke with an intense severing pain in his head. He tried to sit up but it hurt too much. He lay back down and tried desperately to remember what happened to make his head hurt so badly.

He forced himself to sit up and instantly felt a panic come over him.

Where was he?

Not at his own house, that was for sure.

Now more than ever he tried to remember the previous nights events. What the hell had he done yesterday?

Adam slowly raised up again and looked around. Not Michelle's room, not Ryan's, not Alex's, not anybody's house he knew.

He smelled bacon, and eggs. And he heard what sounded like shower water running.

Had he been kidnapped?

Of course not. He wasn't tied up and wasn't being watched. So then what was going on?

I opened the door to my room and walked in wearing nothing but a towel. I was going to wake Adam up in a few minutes, but saw that he was up already.

He sat starring at me in amazement and utter disbelief.

Apparently, he didn't remember why he was here.

"Jameson? What the hell?!" Adam jumped up.

"Now Adam, just listen to me-"

"No. What the fuck am I doing here and why are you....oh god did we..you," Adam panicked.

How was I going to explain what happened last night to him? I didn't even know if I believed it myself really.

Adam had actually shared secrets with me, connected with me. For a short time last night, we were friends.

But now things were coming full circle and the strange distends of reality was fully showing itself.

"Adam, last night, you and Michelle got into a fight. You were upset, wanted somebody to talk to. I guess you were really upset because you said you wanted to talk to me," I tried to explain.

"Talk to...talk to you?!! How the hell did I wind up here?" Adam asked.

"Well you were drunk, which is probably why you don't remember anything. I would have took you home but it was late and I don't exactly know where you live," I replied.

Which was weird since we lived in the same damn neighborhood and rode the same damn bus.

Adam looked furious but at the same time like he was trying to assess the entire situation.

I'm sure this was the last thing on Earth he'd ever want to happen to him.

But what now was he gonna do?

"This...you...."Adam didn't say anything. Instead he walked over to his shoes and started putting the on.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"What does it look like? I'm getting the fuck outta here. Shit, I can't believe this happened," Adam replied.

"All we did was talk and sleep, that's it," I said.

Adam shook his head unconvinced and stood up.

"Say anything about any of this at all to anybody, and I'll make you eat your own dick. Understand?" Adam asked grabbing his jacket.

"Ah, yeah," I swallowed.

Adam left the room and I heard the door slam downstairs.

That went better than I expected actually. At least he didn't pound the shit outta me.

But then, I still had to face him at school.


For some reason, I felt like everybody was watching me. Had Adam actually gotten to everybody that quick? Told them all that I'd molested him or something? Nah, he wouldn't want anyone to know that he'd been anywhere near me. It would probably ruin his rep. And besides, the big game was today. I seriously don't think Adam would chose today of all days to spread any kind of news.

But still, why did I feel like everyone was being a little more attentive to the fact that I actually existed today?

"So I guess you had something way more important to do than to come to the lake with me huh," Jade asked.

I couldn't tell by the tone of her voice whether or not she was angry.

"Jade, I'm sorry. You wouldn't believe me if I told you what really happened," I apologized.

Jade gave me a sympathetic look.

"Try me," she said as we started walking.

"Well it's weird really, but Adam actually wanted to spend time with me yesterday. We went to a bar, talked for hours about a lot of stuff and went back to my house where he fell asleep. Woke up, panicked, and threatened to beat my ass, if I told anyone," I spat out.

Jade gave me a serious look.

"You know you've just made the whole thing between you and Adam worse right."

"What? No, Adam just needed someone to talk to. And I think it did him some good, even if he won't remember anything."

"Only he does remember something and you should be a little worried. Adam's not exactly known for being....nice."

"I know that. But you don't really think he'd try anything the day of the big game right?"

Jade just shrugged.

"So where's Alex?" she asked.

"He's at an early practice. Training heavy for the big game," I replied.

As we walked by, I noticed Gino laughing loudly with a large group of people .

Apparently, his plague was over.

Where as mine was just beginning.


Rinnnnnggggg.

"So, I guess you're ready for me to start making you truly feel like the loser you are right?" Gino asked sitting next to me.

Great he was back.

"You know you missed me right?" Gino asked rubbing my shoulders.

I kept my cool while I slowly reached behind me and ject his hands off of me.

"So, tell me. I hear you had an interesting time without me," Gino speculated.

"Of course you did," I said sarcastically.


I couldn't stop thinking about what happened between me and Adam. I mean, I know it wasn't really anything at all, but it was everything.

We talked, shared secrets, and most of all I actually felt slightly connected with him. Especially since he slept over my house. That was really cool.

Once again I noticed Adam alone at his locker. It was the perfect opportunity for us to talk about what happened.

I took a deep breath and slowly strolled over to him.

Adam glanced at me, but quickly looked away, nervously.

"What...what are you doing here?" Adam asked in a very low voice.

"My locker is right next to yours remember?" I replied.

Adam started looking through his locker more quickly.

"Besides, I kinda wanted to talk to you about last night." I quickly added.

I notice Adam stop briefly and then glance back.

"There's nothing to talk about," Adam replied.

What was his problem? I know he wasn't that drunk last night. He ought to know damn well what didn't happen between us.

"Adam, I want you to know that I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"Well, maybe I should have took you home last night. I don't know. It's just I felt like you and I had bonded. I didn't think you'd mind if-"

"Look fag.."

What did he just say?

"Adam. Hey sweetie," Michelle said kissing Adam.

She looked over at me.

"Brent. Anyways I tried to call you last night but your parents said they didn't know where you were and your dad said he didn't care either," Michelle spoke.

Adam looked extremely perturbed. Almost like he didn't want me to be hearing any of this.

"I wanted to apologize about the way I acted yesterday. I mean, you're the captain of the football team. You had a lot riding on your mind what with today's game and all."

Adam stared at the ground the entire time.

"Ah so, walk me to class?" Michelle asked.

"Yea..yeah just gimme a sec," Adam said.

Michelle smiled, kissed Adam again and turned towards me.

"See ya around Brian."

Adam waited until Michelle was completely out of sight before saying anything.

"What do you think you're trying to do? Make me feel guilty cause I was actually dumb enough to spend time with you?

"I ah..."

"I don't remember exactly what happened last night, but let me say this. You stay away from me, my girlfriend, and my friends-

"What about Alex?"

"I can't control who he stupidly decides to be friends with. Bottom line, keep your mouth shut, stay away from me, and you can keep on living your miserable life the way you have been," Adam spoke.

He glared at me for a few more seconds before shutting his locker, hard, and leaving.

"Hey. What was that all about?" Alex asked.

"Nothing," I replied.

"listen, I'm gonna be practicing all day until the game so I won't be able to see you until tomorrow since I'll probably be beat afterwards," Alex spoke.

"Cooly," I said.

Alex flashed me his killer smile and took off.

Did Adam really think that just because he said us talking meant nothing to him that it didn't mean anything at all? He wasn't going to get away that easily.


I told Jade about what had happened between us. Her best advice was to confront Adam just like I was planning on doing and telling him how I felt for a change. She also suggested that I tell him I liked him. But I wasn't that stupid. Adam need never know all of that.

So I waited. I knew that the one thing every football player needed before a big game was carbos. And that meant that Adam was gonna make a stop at the caf before heading back to practice.

"Adam, we need to talk," I said, tray in hand.

Adam looked to his left and right before basically dragging me into the hallway.

"Look, I told you-"

"I know what you told me. A load of shit. I mean, when do you hear how i feel?" I said.

"I don't care how you feel."

"And I'm supposed to care about how you feel," I said getting louder.

Adam looked around nervously.

At this point, I really didn't care about my feelings towards Adam. He was gonna hear what I had to say whether he liked it or not.

"What do I have to do to get rid of you?" Adam asked.

"Get rid of me? God, you're really ruining my image of you right now," I said without thinking.

"My image....god, you are a fucking fag huh?" Adam asked.

Oh my god! What the hell did I JUST DO!!

Adam smirked. And then a sort of evil grin grew across his face.

He stepped behind me and got really close to me ear.

"I guess I'm gonna have to do whatever it takes huh," he whispered, almost seductively.

He led me back into the caf and left me briefly. He started talking to a few people.

I decided to just go sit down and wait for whatever Adam was going to do.

"Hello loser. It's sad really. You only had two friends and now they're gone huh," Gino joked sitting next to me.

"What do you want Gino?' I asked sullenly.

Gino's look turned serious.

"Okay look. I just wanna say that I'm sorry about what I did at the party. I was a jerk and-"

"Gino, I don't want to hear your empty apology. You make fun of me every damn day." I spoke.

I didn't really want to say that. I guess saying what was on my mind was a habit lately.

"Yeah but-"

"EXCUSE ME EVERYBODY!" Adam shouted.

I looked up.

This must have been it.

I noticed everyone inside the caf start to get really quiet.

I guess he had that much power.

"Yesterday," Adam started.

He jumped onto my table and started again.

"I had the unfortunate pleasure to spend the day with Jameson here."

I could just feel everybody's eyes on me.

"And while I admit, he's the last person on Earth I'd ever want to spend the day with, he's actually got a pretty interesting secret."

Bloody hell! Was he serious?!?!?!?!

Adam looked down at me and winked.

"He's actually the....most pathetic person on Earth. And I heard..he might like guys...I don't know..."

Everyone started laughing and chattering right away.

So he decided to set me up for a fall.

Gino looked over at Brandon. The look on his face was....

I couldn't stay here anymore.

I took off just like I'd done at the party. Any place would be better than school.

Adam stepped down and looked at Gino.

"He had it coming," he said.

Gino wanted to agree. But he felt a little...angry. Angry at Adam. But that was impossible right? Brandon WAS a loser.....


The locker room was full of hyper tension. Just ten minutes until the big game. Everyone was excited.

"So you nervous?" Adam asked.

"Big time." Alex replied.

"Yeah well don't be. We never lose. Besides you have me, a perfectly capable captain, here to carry you to the top," Adam replied.

Alex grinned a little.

"Say Adam I heard about the caf. Fucking wicked bro," Ryan spoke.

"What happened in the caf?" Alex asked.

"Oh Adam gave it to Br-

"Nothing. Nothing. Just put someone in their place is all," Adam spoke.

Alex couldn't know that the person was Brandon, Adam thought. It would deflect his focus.

"Alright men. Gather," Coach Wigham spoke.

Adam, Alex, and Ryan gathered with the other players.

"This is it. The first game of the season. We've been training two weeks for this. I know you're ready. Ready to continue the tradition that's been bestowed upon you. Winning. So go out there and do what every on of my teams has done best. Kick the other teams sorry ass!" Coach spoke.

Everyone growled and gruffed.

"Alright men. Longhorns on three. One, two, three, LONGHORNS!"


Gino sat in the stands watching as Adam and the rest of the team poured into the stadium. How could he be so cool about this game? He was a ruiner. A ruiner of lives. Always humiliating people. Not caring about their feelings.

Sure, Gino himself was no saint. But he was always just joking and made sure to apologize to people when he saw fit.

Brandon didn't deserve that from Adam. It had been bugging him all day, the events in the caf.

He couldn't sit here anymore.

"Alright so, were gonna go around the-

"VENTURA!" Gino shouted.

Adam turned around.

Gino was fast approaching him.

"What do you want Gino?" Adam asked.

"Think it's cute to do what you do huh? But I-"

Gino punched Adam , hard, "Don't"

Ryan jumped on top of Gino who was on top of Adam.

"Hey!" Alex shouted.

The crowd went into an uproar.

"Coach you're gonna need to stop this. Otherwise you forfeit," a referee spoke.

"Forfeit? I never lose," Coach Wigham spoke.

Only, they did lose that day. The first game in fifteen years. Why? Because Gino had gotten to Adam. He finally realized that this was Earth, and he'd have to join us soon.


I thank everybody who has shown interest in my story and that was kind enough to email me with feedback! Especial you John! Anyway, if you liked (or hated) this latest installment, or have any suggestions, please don't hesitate to email me. I always reply!

Next: Chapter 5


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