Angsty Alexander

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Alexander makes a movie.

Semester is over and I'm in LA for winter break filming a comedy. I'm going to be on my own this week until Jay and Eric join me on the 26th.

Last week in the midst of finals Eric and I skyped in to the table reading for the movie. We missed the initial meet and greet so I've just had lunch with the director and the big name actors playing my parents. It was fun all good, we all seemed to click and have similar ideas.

This evening I'm meeting Blair my agent for dinner. I like that my days are being filled up so I don't have time to think about anything else.

I meet Blair at the restaurant. It's a nice place, very modern. Blair is already seated with another guy.

"Hey Alexander, great to see you. This is Max." Blair says.

We shake hands. Max is a TV actor who had a smash movie last summer. He's really hot.

"Max has just moved to our agency and is relocating here now his show has finished. I thought you two might get along." Blair says.

"Cool, we should hang out this week. I don't really know anyone out here though. But some friends from school are coming next week and they'll party with us." I say.

"Uh not too much partying when you're working." Blair says grinning.

"We'll find time. Are you working on anything Max?" I ask.

"I start shooting a movie in a couple of weeks." Max says.

We talk about the industry and movies we've enjoyed and really have a nice meal. Blair has to leave but Max and / stay on to have dessert.

Max is way more down to earth than I expected. He's always being pictured with famous women and on the cover of gossip magazines, but he seems to just want to be an actor. I like him.

I offer to give Max a ride as he came with Blair, the restaurant lot is round the corner. As we step outside flashes go off and we get loads of questions shouted at us.

"Are you working together?"

"Why did you fire your agent?"

"Are you an item?"

"Sandy, how did you convert Max?"

I want to hide and hurry away but know I need to play the game a little now I'm out here and not at school.

I turn and smile.

"We're just friends having dinner, sorry to be boring." I say

Max grins at me. "Just a couple of actors who share an agent guys. There's no story." Max says and we head over to my car.

"Is your life always like that?" I ask.

"Yeah. It's why I changed agents. The last one thought was really into the staged paparazzi stuff which lead to the real stuff, the fake relationships, I hate all that." Max says.

"I cannot imagine the effort it takes to deal with that. I love being just me at school." I say.

"I chose Blair because of you. My old agent insisted I stayed closeted which I hated. I wanted to show off my boyfriends you know, not hide. I saw your interview online a few weeks ago and decided to find out who your representation was. Blair has been amazing helping me find a lawyer to get me out of my old agreement, he got me my new film and has no problem if I want to be out." Max says.

"Glad I could help. So are you going to come out?" I ask.

"Not formally. When I'm next seeing someone I won't hide it. Maybe even flaunt it a bit." Max says.

"Cool. So you're single?" I ask.

"Yeah for a while. How about you, still with the guy at school?" Max asks.

"We broke up a bit ago, I was seeing someone else for a bit but it didn't work out." I say.

"I'm sorry. What are you doing for Christmas?" Max asks.

"No plans, my friends arrive on the 26th. You?" I ask.

"Nothing. I don't speak to my family, they are super religious and rejected me years ago. Come to my place for dinner." Max suggests.

"Is your place nice?" I ask.

"It really is. I have a pool and a great view. Come see it now." Max says enthusiastically. I think he's pretty lonely.

"Sure that would be great. Maybe I could stay a few days, if you have space. My apartment is um sparse." I say.

"That would be so cool. Though there could be rumours, if we're seen together more." Max says.

"I'll risk it if you will." I say.

"I would love to have a boring week with you. Not that you're boring. I just finished my show. I've a couple of weeks off before filming then I'll be back on the publicity trail. I just want to swim, play xbox." Max says.

"Sounds good to me, I just finished finals and start filming next week. Sleeping in, swimming, video games sounds perfect. I need to work out too though, a lot of shirtless scenes in this movie." I say. "I need to join somewhere I've not had time to look." Max says.

"Now if we hunt gyms together TMZ will have us married and pregnant bv new vear." I say laughing.

"You'd be bar far my hottest fake romance partner." Max says.

"You're really hot too. So is your house. Wow this place is cool." I say.

"Didn't you grow up in LA? How come you don't have friends here?" Max asks.

"Calling me a loner? I worked a lot, not always with other kids and I didn't go to school. So I didn't make any lasting friendships. Then my Dad and I moved near Seattle for high school. It's only since I've been in college that I've made proper friends really. Is no one from your show based out here?" I say.

"Nah I left midseason. So they're all still in North Carolina for filming. Some guest stars are out here I guess, but no one I ever kept in touch with." Max explains.

"If you're sure about this I'll go and get my stuff." I say.

"I am super sure." Max says.

I head back to the apartment grab my still packed bags and head back to Max's place.

He shows me to a room and I dump my stuff.

"Are you partying at New Year?" I ask.

"No. I usually do a PA in a club but Blair said to stop that sort of thing for now and I am happy to. I had one booked in Vegas but the club closed to rebrand and I used that as an excuse to get out of it. Maybe you and your friends could hang here." Max says.

"You don't know if you'll like them yet. Last New Year with 2 of them wasn't great. I might not want to inflict them on you." I laugh.

We have an easy few days. We help each other learning lines and we do go and visit a few gyms together but mostly we hang out around his pool and relax. There is no sexual chemistry between us, we're just friends. I'm feeling pretty relaxed and ready to work. I hear that there's a change of plan on set and I'm not going to be needed until the afternoon. So I stay an extra night with Max and am able to collect Eric and Jay from the airport. As I leave the house Max sees me out and gives me a kiss on the doorstep. Its sweet he's really cute. I'm excited to see Eric and Jay, we go straight to work from the airport.

"You could have had Christmas with us after all." Eric says.

"I wasn't alone. I've been hanging out with Max. If we finish early enough we'll go see him later." I say.

"No way, he is soooooo hot." Jay says.

"Ugh we're meeting hotties now I have a boyfriend." Eric grumbles.

"Well Harry is just as hot and probably a lot less hassle." I say.

"I can't see you hanging round someone who is a hassle." Jay says.

"Ah you know in the same way I am, with photographers and stuff." I say.

"Wait, is he gay? He always dates famous girls." Eric asks.

"Gay as you or I. Just he's not out yet so keep it quiet." I say.

We get to the studio lot and spend a lot of time with the wardrobe department and then have a rehearsal for one of the dance numbers. I love to dance in clubs but am not used to working with a choreographer, Eric of course is totally loving it.

We get to meet a lot of the cast and they're all pretty nice and normal The only person I encounter who isn't nice is one of the assistant directors who makes lots of comments about me not being at the reading and other pre-production meetings I missed. I ignore him, given everything was negotiated into my contract.

We go straight to Max's place when we finish.

"Hey, Mac, this is Eric and Jay." I say

They all shake hands and Eric and Jay get given a tour of the place while I head straight out to the pool. I strip off and use the outdoor shower, rinsing off the sweat of rehearsal before hitting the pool.

The guys come through with some drinks already getting on well as I hear them laughing and joking together.

They soon strip off and join me.

"How was your day Max?" I ask.

"Pretty good, I did nothing. Better now you guys are here. We need to make plans to go out when you have a free evening." Max says.

"Yeah, and if I'm not about take these two." I say.

I get out and sit on a lounger, the sun is setting and its getting cooler but I'm enjoying being nude outside. Max comes over.

"Your friend Jay is really cute." Max says.

"Oh you two would be great together. Do you want me to talk to him for you?" I ask excited.

"Uh no, not yet." Max says quite coldly.

"I guess you don't need any help." I laugh.

Max laughs a little too but it's a bit empty.

"You two dated? I saw pictures I think." Max asks.

"Yeah when we first met we had a thing, we've tried again a few times but it's never come to anything. He can be a really great guy, a total dick at times but on the whole he's a good guy and terrific in bed." I say grinning.

"Good to know." Max says.

"Thanks so much for letting us hang out here." I say.

"Hey anytime. I really do love having people over. Blair is taking me to meet some other guys this week so maybe we can have a party soon, bring some people from work." Max says.

"That would be really cool. We have to head back now, we've an early call tomorrow." I say.

"Call me if you get some time off. I've another 2 weeks before I start. Though I might be going to Hawaii for a photoshoot for a couple of days." Max says.

"Wow, you're so lucky. Paid to go somewhere awesome." I say.

"Yeah I'm excited, just working out the details, someone dropped out so they asked me." Max says.

"Hope it works out. We'll call and go to dinner later in the week if we finish early." I say.

The three of us drive back to the apartment and all unpack before going to bed.

Jay comes into my room.

"Need company?" Jay asks.

"I'd love to snuggle with you." I say and Jay climbs into my bed.

"I missed you last week. It was really hard with my Mom. She flat out asked me to send her half my paycheck. I said no and she went on about how co-signing my loan last year affected her available credit. I told her the loan was paid off already and she did not take it well. I ended up staying with my Grandparents." Jay says.

He's lying on my chest and I squeeze him tight.

"I'm sorry. How did you clear the loan?" I ask.

"Mart and John. You know John has had some health problems? That's why they've taken this trip. They are both taking a step back from the businesses, semi-retirement." Jay says.

"John told me. Does that mean you can't work for them this summer?" I ask.

"The job is open for me, and if I want a position later on but I'm not sure I want to be there if they are not. You know, it's not the same. They covered my loan for Christmas which was crazy good of them because I couldn't stay at theirs. They spoil me so much." Jay says.

"They like you, they see you as family. They loved having you this summer. I figure they'd like to leave the business to you, whichever side you choose." I say.

"Yeah we've kind of talked about it. Thing is I'm thinking more of trying to be an agent or manager. I don't know if I'd ever get there or be a success but I like the idea of working with people more directly than just their money or legal issues. Plus I wouldn't need grad school. I like school but I think 4 years might be my limit." Jay says.

"I understand. I thought I'd like to study forever but I get so frustrated by the rules and the schedule. I think I'm going to try and be done as soon as possible. Are you going to see if you can work for Blair again this summer?" I ask.

"I don't really want to. I'm working for him part time while we're out here, given I don't think you'll need me too much. Plus he sends me stuff now and then. He's a good agent but I don't know what else I'd learn this summer, I'd maybe make more contacts but I'd still be doing a lot of coffee runs and social media checks." Jay says.

"You should talk to Sal. I bet she couldn't pay you as much but she probably would be able to give you more responsibility than Blair can. Plus knowing Sal she'd be able to find you side jobs to make money." I say.

"That's a great idea, thanks. I'll call her this week." Jay says.

"Thanks for sorting this place and the car and everything. I love it when you're all efficient." I say and nuzzle against Jay a little more.

"It was fun watching you dance today." Jay say brushing his lips over my chest.

"Eric was dancing, I was baffled." I laugh.

"You'll be better tomorrow." Jay says.

"If I get some sleep." I say.

"Sorry. I missed having someone to talk to." Jay says.

As always I sleep much better with someone in my bed. I'm pleased I let Jay back in to my life again. I hope we won't hurt each other this time.

We all have a long few days at work, when we're on set or in rehearsal Jay works for Blair from my trailer. He is so fucking sexy when he's working.

Speaking of sexy the guy who plays my nemesis in the film is really, really hot. We haven't worked together much yet, I can't wait until we do.

We finally have an early finish for New Year's Eve and are able to meet Max for dinner. I've not said anything to Jay about him yet but hope to steer them together a bit tonight.

The four of us get on pretty well. We tell Max about or work. He is off to Hawaii next week so we're lucky to have caught him.

"When do you go? We have Sunday off at the moment." I say.

"Tuesday, so Sunday is good for a party. If you guys invite a few people, I will too." Max says.

"Cool Harry finally gets here tomorrow so he will be able to come." Eric says.

"Great, can't wait to finally meet him." Max says.

"Harry is totally gorgeous. Did Blair introduce you to anyone hot?" Jay asks Max.

"None as hot as you." Max replies causing Jay to blush.

Eric and I grin as they carry on their flirtation.

It's a nice evening so we decide to go for a walk after dinner, it's pretty busy with partiers.

I grab Max's arm and slow him down for a moment.

"Do you want me and Eric to disappear for a bit?" I ask.

"Nah it's okay, I'll take it slowly." Max says. I shrug and we catch up with the others.

We hang out a little while and just manage to see in the New Year but Eric and I are pretty tired and we all have another early start so we say our goodbyes.

In bed later Jay joins me as he has every night, just for cuddling.

"Surprised you came back tonight." I say.

"He didn't even kiss me Happy new year." Jay says.

"We were in public and he's not out, he was probably being cautious." I say.

"Maybe. I thought he wanted to be out. I'll see how it goes at the party. I've done a hot and cold guy before, not keen to go through that again." Jay says.

"Sorry." I say.

"You were worth it." Jay says making me smile.

The next day Eric collects Harry from the airport, Blair has leant Jay a car for the rest of his time here which is making things easier now we're on different schedules.

Eric and Harry go sightseeing whenever Eric is free and Harry takes himself to the beach and things when Eric is working. They are super, super cute together but only when they relax, they seem to be on guard a lot which is pretty exhausting to watch.

On Saturday there are some technical difficulties on set and we get to leave early.

Anderson the hot guy playing my nemesis suggests we work on some scenes at his place. It's an absolute ruse we both know. I'm super excited.

"Jay why don't you call Max and get him to join you 3?" I suggest.

"Yeah I will." Jay says.

"You take the car, I can get a cab back later." I say kissing his cheek and heading back to my trailer to shower and get ready.

When I get to Andersons car I'm full of anticipation. We've been flirting for days.

"I've wanted you since the first day on set. You're so much hotter in person." Anderson says.

"You are super sexy. I keep thinking our fights should end in kissing." I say.

"We should make our own porn parody of this movie. It would be so hot." Anderson says.

I can't believe my luck, he is so hot and confident.

"I'd watch us." I say.

We get to his place, it's a similar block to the one I'm staying in.

"Do you live here all the time or are you just here for the movie?" I ask.

"All the time. It's pretty cheap and convenient. I'm saving everything towards a really nice place. I don't see the point in blowing a lot on rent when my income is so volatile." Anderson says.

"I thought you had steady work, I've seen you in a few things." I say.

"Only small moments though, often only a week or 2 shooting. This is the biggest part I've had so far. I'm still a waiter who acts sometimes but my savings are growing." Anderson explains.

"That's cool. Do you have roommates?" I ask.

"Yeah he should be out for the afternoon." Anderson says.

Anderson is really cute, about 5'8 with black hair, tan skin, big brown eyes and crazy long lashes. He is super muscular too, like a wrestler. I can't wait to see him naked.

"Good." I say and pull him into a kiss.

"Though being interrupted is always fun." Anderson says.

I laugh and kiss him some more.

"First shall we run these scenes?" Anderson asks.

"Okay." I reply.

We sit on the couch and run through 2 of our fight scenes. Which leads to us wrestling on the floor. Super hot.

We rip each other's clothes off and carry on rolling around nude, kissing.

"Come on get up, I want you over the table." Anderson demands.

I comply, we're both hard and right now I'm happy to do anything for him.

I bend over the table and he lowers his head to my ass, licking and probing, feels amazing. I groan a little, a sigh of contentment.

He pushes in slowly.

"Fuck you feel good." Anderson groans.

He's smaller than Peter and takes less getting used to.

Anderson runs his hands down my back and pushes me to hold me down and begins pumping away. He's pretty great varying his speed and has a really sexy grunt. It's great to let someone else be in control for a change. I've missed sex since coming out here.

"You're so good, fuck me, fuck me." I mumble.

Just as he starts upping his speed further sending me out of my mind the door opens and his roommate and his boyfriend walk in.

"Wow that looks hot." The roommate says.

"Come take a turn." Anderson says holding me down and slowing his pace. My cock twitches and jumps at his words.

The two men come and stand in front of me, they make out and strip off. The whole time Anderson is pumping me slowly, teasingly.

The boyfriend is on his knees sucking his boyfriend who is loud with his appreciation.

I can't believe the situation I'm in, I can't believe I'm in it sober, it's freaking awesome.

Anderson swaps places with his roommate who is about the same size. I groan as he drills me hard. It's so hot when Anderson starts kissing his roommates boyfriend.

The roommate goes hard and fast and shoots all over my back. He kisses his boyfriend as he pushes on in to me. I cannot believe what a slut I am today. The boyfriend is a little bigger than the other two and it feels really great.

"Your ass is so hot." The boyfriend groans.

"You feel great." I mumble back.

Anderson and his roommate are making out on the couch, looking crazy hot. This seems to spur on the guy fucking me and he lasts less time than his boyfriend, it's kind of disappointing.

Anderson comes back over.

"Let's turn you over." He says.

I move onto my back and grab my knees. He pushes back in quickly, I cry out a little in shock.

He's so fun to watch pushing in to me, thrusting, sweating, grunting.

I grab my dick.

"Fuck you're so hot, fuck me. Fuck!" I'm yelping.

Anderson smiles down at me and picks up the pace again.

I shoot everywhere, hitting my face, shoulder and stomach. Anderson just smiles and keeps pumping for a minute, I can barely stand it. Then he pulls out and covers the rest of me. He bends forward to kiss me, making himself as messy as I am.

I clean myself up the best I can, call a cab and get out of there so fast. It was so good but I'm kind of embarrassed and not sure how awkward it will be to work together now.

I text Anderson on the way back to give him the party details for tomorrow, glad we'll have a chance to talk again, preferably with the help of a few drinks.

At the apartment I take a long shower. Catch up with some emails from Blair and my publicist. Nothing unusual. We're working on my summer plans for the publicity tours. I'm exhausted seeing the list of countries I'll be going to. I make sure they know I want to be in school for the second summer session.

The others aren't back yet. It's nice to have some downtime after everything being pretty full on since the movie kicked off. I contemplate calling Peter, I still feel bad about how we left things. Just as my resolve to leave him alone is melting the guys arrive back.

"Hey. I thought you might have stayed out a lot later." I say.

"Nah, we're all too tired and want to be fresh for tomorrow's party." Jay says.

"Plus Eric and I have not had much alone time yet." Harry says.

"Understood. Jay shall we go out to a movie or something?" I ask.

"I'd love to." Jay says.

"You okay Jay?" I ask in the car.

"Yeah. A bit tired. Can we go to dinner somewhere normal and just talk?" Jay asks.

"Sure. Pizza or something?" I ask.

"That would be good." Jay says quietly.

We find a place and head inside, I don't know how good it'll be given its pretty quiet on a Saturday night.

We get seated, order some cokes and Jay breathes out heavily.

"Max is so weird. He was really excited to come out with us but then was a bit of a pain. I was trying to give Eric and Harry some space but Max kept drawing them back into conversation and didn't seem to want to talk to me. I don't think I can deal with him. He says he wants to come out before starting on his movie and he's always calling me cute and other complements but doesn't seem to want to spend any time one on one." Jay says.

"He isn't worth the effort. It would only be a hook-up given the time you have left, he's not the sort of guy you'd do long distance with. Is he?" I ask.

"No, I thought it would be a fun holiday fling but it's too much work." Jay says.

"You're not usually one for flings." I say.

"I've had a shit year for relationships, Ben was fun for a bit but I stayed too long with him, then Mike was a disaster, as was being with you and Peter and trying to cling on to Peter when neither of us wanted it. I need something that's less work." Jay says.

"Someone who just loves you as you are?" I ask.

"Yeah. I used to be so secure in my ability to find someone and to be a good boyfriend. But I don't know, I'm a bit lost. I can't believe we fell for Mike and Casey, fuck that was bad. I love you and I don't like it when you're not in my life but sometimes it would be easier if we never met." Jay says.

"I'm sorry. Last time that Peter suggested we get back together he said I'd never be able to trust that anyone else loved me for me. I'm sorry that you are finding the same because we're friends." I say.

"He's right. Well not just him, me too I guess." Jay says.

"You guess you'd love me for me?" I giggle.

"Shut up. You know what I mean. You already have trust issues and abandonment issues, after Casey I can't see you finding anyone easily." Jay says.

"Don't, its fucking depressing. Once I'm back at school I'll be doing crazy catch up then I'm all over this summer, here, Europe, Australia, Japan. No time for anyone and I hate my bed empty." I say.

"Only you would talk about all that travel with dread." Jay says.

"It'll be hotel to hotel with a couple of tourist spots for photo ops and a premier. I'll not know where I am much of the time." I say.

Jay rolls his eyes at me.

"I know, I now. Hey I'll rack up the air miles at least. Did you talk to Sal?" I ask.

"Yes, we had lunch, she offered me a job before I asked. Did I not tell you?" Jay asks.

I shake my head, the pizza arrives and it smells so good.

"Congratulations, really please for you. Fuck I'm starving." I say.

"What did you get up to this afternoon?" Jay asks.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." I say grinning.

"Try me." Jay laughs.

I tell him an abbreviated version of events.

"Holy shit. Were you safe?" Jay asks.

"Of course we were. I'm not stupid." I say.

"So will you see them again?" Jay asks.

"The sex was a one off, totally got it out our systems. Anderson might be at the party tomorrow and I'll see him at work obviously." I say.

"You should introduce me to him properly." Jay says.

"Really?" I ask.

"I am so horny." Jay says moving back in his chair to show me the outline of his cock.

"Maybe you should have a night in our own bed for some alone time." I say.

"Nah, snuggling with you is great. We both sleep better." Jay says with a small smile.

"Have you spoken to Peter?" I ask.

"No, we texted happy Christmas and that was it. You still not made up?" Jay asks.

"No, we need the time to properly move on. We'll be friends again, well I hope we will." I say.

"But you don't want more again?" Jay asks.

"No, yes, I'm not right for him. He deserves someone who is a better fit and I'd just be holding him back." I say.

"So you do still love him?" Jay asks.

"No, I really did move on but he's so easy to slip back into." I say.

"Just like you are for me." Jay says.

"Ah but you still love me." I tease.

"And you love me." Jay teases back.

We take our time eating and chatting, happy that for once we can sleep in in the morning.

We get home late and it's quiet. Hopefully Harry and Eric have worn each other out.

The next afternoon we all put on smart clothes, call a car and stop by a florist on the way to get a gift. Max is having the party catered so told us not to bring food or wine. There is security at the door which feels weird but we're ushered straight in.

There is a DJ by the pool and a lot of people here. I can't believe he's pulled this off so fast.

I put the flowers inside then strip off and hit the pool. Max jumps in behind me and we mess around together.

"How did you find all these people?" I ask.

"Blair, people from your movie, people from my movie. It was easier than I thought." Max says.

"It's crazy." I say.

Anderson walks in and I call him to the pool and introduce him to Max. I leave them talking for a bit and go and chat to some of the other people from the movie.

I see Jay and Max talking later, looking pretty close. I hope Jay's giving him one more chance, he should have some fun while we're out here.

Anderson pulls me round the side of the house and we make out a little, I'm pretty buzzed and it's fun. I think maybe Max sees us but I'm not sure.

"Uh yesterday was fun but..." I begin.

"We have to work together, I know nothing more will happen its' okay." Anderson says.

"I do think you're really sexy." I say.

"You're fucking sexy." Anderson says and kisses me one last time.

I get in the pool to cool off. I don't stay in long it is getting cooler and so I head into the house to warm up a bit. Max follows me.

"Are you dating that short guy?" Max asks.

"No, we just work together, he's really hot." I say.

"I thought you liked taller guys." Max says.

"I don't care what height a guy is, I've dated really short guys and tall guys. It isn't something I think about." I say a bit confused.

"So if I'm not too tall why are you not into me?" Max asks and tries to kiss me. I take a step back.

"Really? I thought you liked Jay. We hit it off as friends straight away, there was never anything else between us." I say.

"Are you kidding? I asked Blair to introduce us because I've had a crush on you for forever. I thought you were taking it slow because you'd just had a break up. I really like you, I thought you liked me too." Max says.

"I'm sorry I had no idea, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. I just think of you as a bro." I say.

"So why were you always swimming naked in the pool and hanging out with me if you didn't want anything else? Is that really what you do with friends?" Max asks.

"I was comfortable around you. I thought you were with me. If I'd wanted sex I'd have come on to you. But I didn't and you didn't make a move until now." I say and walk away.

I spot Jay and tell him I want to go home.

"Me too. This party sucks." Jay says.

"Where are Eric and Harry?" I ask.

"Harry got them a hotel for a couple of nights as he's leaving soon. So they snuck off ages ago." Jay says.

"Cool. Makes up for our non-existent New Year." I say.

The car comes quickly and we're both quiet for the ride home.

In the kitchen I pour us both a drink.

"I'm sorry of Max was using you to make me jealous or something. I thought he really liked you. I'd never have pushed you if I knew." I say.

"It's not like you to be totally oblivious to a guy liking you. Though I didn't know until today either when he started quizzing me about you loads. I thought he was taking me to his room for fun but no it was to ask about you." Jay says.

"Sorry." I say.

"Not your fault. I know I don't have your looks but I never had a lack of guys interested in me before. I'm finding this using me to get to you thing weird. It's not like you are unapproachable." Jay says.

"You are beautiful and smart and sexy and anyone who passes you over is a dumb fuck." I say.

"Thanks, you dumb fuck. Let's go to bed." Jay says.

I look down at the sexy man on my chest and sigh.

"I meant it, you are beautiful. Do you know how hard it's been for me not to sleep with my assistant?" I say.

"Do you know how hard it's been for me not to sleep with my boss?" Jay says running his hands over my chest.

"You wouldn't have to worry about being loved for you." I say.

"I wouldn't want to be your last resort." Jay says.

"You're not. Would I be for you?" I ask.

"No, I love you. Do you really want us to take our shot now?" Jay asks.

"Yes. Do you?" I ask quietly.

"Yes." Jay replies just as quiet.

I pull his mouth up to meet mine and kiss him slowly. I kiss him head to toe and make love to him with all the passion I have.

We lie wrapped up together, skin on skin, no space between us.

"Is this just tonight?" Jay asks.

"Not for me. If we're doing this I want to do it properly, I'm yours exclusively." I say.

Jay smiles and suddenly relaxes, like he'd been holding his breath.

"You're mine." Jay says.

"Yes, all yours, no random hook-ups, no blow jobs from friends, no sex acts at parties, no third parties, just me and you." I say.

"I like that. I love you." Jay says.

He's mine again. This time I'll get it right. This time I'll be what he needs me to be. This time will work.

The alarm goes all too soon and we get back to work. Of course all my breaks are far more fun getting to make out with Jay.

On Thursday I need to stay late but I tell Jay to go home with Eric. I get home around 2am and the guys are all sat up in the kitchen.

I kiss Jay hello.

"What are you all doing up?" I ask.

"This." Jay says showing me a trashy magazine.

Wow I'm on the cover with Max. `It's true love!' is the headline. I turn to the story, they have loads of pictures of us together, when we first met, when we were at the gym, new year, me arriving at his place with flowers.

The interview is pure fantasy about how we met and started dating. I get to the end and I'm shocked but the final sentences. `Sandy Greens representatives said Sandy is very happy, it is a very new relationship but he's falling fast.'

"What a load of rubbish. It's kind of flattering but a bit bunny boiler." I say.

"Why does it have your rep confirming it?" Jay asks.

"I don't know. We'll call my publicist in the morning. I didn't agree to this. I don't do this fake publicity stuff you know that. You know me." I say.

"I told you Jay, he's been panicking all night." Eric says.

"You know I have no interest in Max that way. Once I've found out who confirmed it I can work out what I can do." I say.

"You need to set the record straight yourself, not wait for a retraction. Just put something out there." Harry says.

"How? What?" I ask.

"Just tweet something. You know a pic of you two and say here's my actual boyfriend." Harry says.

"I don't have any social media accounts. I don't want any." I say.

"So let us send it. Let's do a video now and we can send it out. We can send it to the gossip sites." Eric says.

"Should I try and call max first, listen to his version?" I ask.

"No, fuck him." Harry says.

"He was nice at first, having us to hang out. But he just wasn't that interesting and was so weird being hot and cold with Jay that we tried to spend less time with him." Eric says.

"You could have told me. Okay record me now, then it'll be out there before anyone can talk me out of it." I say.

"I'll grab my camera." Harry says.

We do a few tests, to get enough light and then I'm ready. I look at Harry.

"Hi, I'm Sandy Green. Just to set the record straight. I am not dating Max. We are friends and have hung out a few times but we are not lovers, or boyfriends, I'm not falling fast. It is really flattering that people might think I was with Max but it is hurtful to my real boyfriend." I say and I pull Jay into shot.

"This one is mine." I say and kiss Jay sweetly.

"Cut." Shouts Harry.

"How was it?" I ask.

"Perfect." Says Eric.

They upload it and send it out from their own accounts and send it on to some gossip sites. I've no idea if it will work but I'm hopeful.

I hug everyone and thank them and we all head to bed.

Harry will be leaving tomorrow, he and Eric won't get much sleep before leaving for the airport.

It turns out Jay and I don't either. My phone is ringing at 5am, annoying as I don't need to leave until 8 today.

"What the hell have you done? Did you even think of Max's reputation? We've been planning his coming out for weeks and you just trashed it." Blair screams in my ear.

"So it was you who gave the quote to the magazine? Why choose something so low rent for him? And no I don't care about his reputation just as you clearly don't care about mine." I say.

"Take the video down, now." Blair says.

"Too late. And I don't want to. You know I don't do fake relationships. I thought you were better than that. Max said you wanted him to step back from that type of publicity." I say.

"Come on you were set to be a golden couple, both on the rise, young, good looking. You have such a low profile, you were the perfect guy for Max to come out with." Blair says.

"Next time run your plans by me and never, ever speak on my behalf about my personal life without running it by me first." I say and cut the call off.

I send a message through to my publicist and let them know which story I want to run with. I then message my lawyer back at school and ask her to find out how much notice I have to give Blair to make a clean break. I know I'm not exactly thinking straight right now but I want to get moving.

Finally I message Sal and ask if we can have breakfast today or if she can drop by the set later.

I head out for a run for 30minutes, taking advantage of the early call. Jay had already gone back to sleep when I left.

My head clearer when I get home I pull Jay out of bed and into the shower. We give each other head and it is awesome. He is so great. We have had a crazy relationship so volatile but nothing beats it when it is going well.

I know Jay will be super pleased with my public declaration and it feels good to make him happy.

Sal calls as soon as I step out the shower and suggests meeting us near the studio.

"Hey, I'm so glad you were free." I say.

"I am too. I see you've caused quite a fuss." Sal says laughing.

"What would you have had me do?" I ask.

"Well I wouldn't have done a stealth photoshoot with your fake boyfriend in the first place. You know that. I really like your response. Especially if you two are back together, you've already been speculated about previously, confirming your status feels organic. It's an excellent counter." Sal says.

"Thanks. I am looking to leave Blair and back in the summer I thought you wouldn't be right for me, that you wouldn't be able to get me the work I want but I don't even know what sort of work I want. I figure you might have time for me, to collaborate with me on a plan. I'm really sorry I didn't trust you right off." I say.

"You did me a favour staying with Blair, we repaired our relationship quite quickly. I think that would have been harder if you'd come with me. Are you sure now is the time to leave?" Sal asks.

"Yeah, I've only publicity for the films to do, not acting work lined up. I figure it'll be easiest on the money front to go now, he gets his cut of everything up to this movie. But that's for my lawyer to sort out. This Max thing just irks me, I'm not that type of guy, I know it works for lots of people but it's not me, I'd rather not act than play those games." I say.

"I know kid. I would love to have you on board but before we agree anything let me come up with a few plans and we'll go through them, there is no rush. Sort out your current situation and please meet with other agents to see what is out there, I believe you were going to before." Sal says.

"I've talked to a lot of people on set. I want you, I want to go back to a small agency. You know me better than anyone else in this town and won't waste my time with stuff I won't do." I say.

"Okay. Jay are you still working for Blair?" Sal asks.

"Yes until the end of next week, though I do some distance stuff sometimes too." Jay says.

"Okay I've no issue with that as long as you're free to work for me fulltime in May. I'm looking out for somewhere for you to housesit at the moment." Sal says.

"Thanks, I'm excited." Jay says.

"Me too. It's great to see you guys, I love seeing you happy together too." Sal says.

We hug her and kiss her goodbye as she dashes off to her next meeting. Jay drives us in to the studio and I talk to my publicist.

They had no idea about the magazine until it came out, they are happy with the video but wished I'd given the heads up. I tell them Blair doesn't talk for me unless it's to confirm a role.

Anderson comes to talk to me at work later when we're waiting on a shot.

"That Max guy is fucking nuts. He went off on one at me after you left Sunday. I just thought he was drunk. I hope you don't have any pets." Anderson says.

"I think our agent was equally to blame. It's just crazy like they expect me and Jay to just go with it." I say.

"You two are really cute together. I'm a little jealous." Anderson says.

"Of me or him?" I ask.

"Both, you're both hot." Anderson says.

"So are you." I say as we're called back into position.

Nothing else much happens. We work long, hours trying to get the movie made at speed. Sometimes it can be frustrating not having time for more takes but I get used to it and we are all pretty focused on not wasting too much time.

Of course we all have bad days of flubbed lines or tripping flat on my face...

Jay and I are doing pretty good together. We haven't had many chances to actually date or anything but we seem to be able to spend a good amount of time together and he's still a dream in bed. My sex drive is so much higher than when we were together the first time round. It is going to really suck when he has to go back to school.

Eric is missing Harry. He's been a bit down about it, as they've not had much time together yet. I think they'll be fine but I know Eric is worried.

We've been filming the dance sequences all week and Eric and I are shattered. The whole cast is done in and we wrap early for the day. Eric decides to head out with a bunch of the cast, giving Jay and I some needed alone time.

"I feel like I've barely seen you this week and you'll be gone soon." I say.

"Let's just grab take out and hang at home." Jay says.

I nod and follow him.

"I wish you could stay longer." I say when we get home.

"Hey we have a few days and then it's only a few weeks." Jay says.

"I'll still miss you." I say.

"I can't believe this is happening really. A few weeks ago you dumped me, I was treating you like shit and you hated me. I thought you'd never even talk to me again." Jay says.

"Don't remind me, I might forget why I forgave you." I joke.

"You knew I loved you. You knew why I was hurting you. I'm lucky you're so damn smart." Jay says.

"Just don't do it again." I say.

"I love you buckets full. I could never treat you badly again. I just couldn't." Jay says.

"Good to know, I did not like what happened." I say.

"But you forgave me?" Jay asks.

"Of course. I told you I'm ready for this. I want a boyfriend. I want you as my boyfriend." I say.

"I love that you're my boyfriend, I'm so glad we're doing this." Jay says.

"I'm glad we can talk this time. It was so stupid the first time." I say.

"We'll make it work this time. Nothing before matters now right? I mean this has been a new start for us. We actually know each other this time." Jay says.

We head to bed early and just make out for hours.

Then he's gone and it's just me and Eric and our work.

Things have slowed a bit for me, I have a few earlier finishes or later starts. So I make the time to see Blair.

"I'm sorry but I think I need a change. I'm sorry that I set the legal guys off before talking to you. You've been great for me, especially keeping the door ajar for me to come back but I've changed and the agency has grown. The Max thing just settled in my head what I'd been thinking about for a while." I say.

"I'm sorry we went behind your back on that. I thought you'd like the idea, the two of you hit it off." Blair says.

"As friends, nothing else. I really didn't like being used to boost someone else. Especially as I wasn't in on it." I say.

"You didn't have to do what you did. You made him a laughing stock." Blair says.

"It just raised him higher, being the butt of a joke on a late night show has people talking." I say.

"I know we were just trying to revamp his image and we're back where we started." Blair says.

I leave the meeting happy that I've made the right decision.

Eric finishes up his part a little later than expected but school have been fine about it. He's sad to be going before I finish but happy to get back to classes and Harry.

I have a lonely final 2 weeks. We look like it will over run my scenes too but somehow it all gets pulled back. I'm happy with what I've done, I enjoyed the work, made some friends, well temporary friends, I doubt we'll speak until promotion time.

I pack up my things, return the car and head back east. To school. To Jay.

Thanks for reading. I hope the anti Jay people are not too mad at me.

I'm still writing the spring break chapters so do vote in the poll http://poll.fm/5d8hg (which has turned into yet another relationship poll rather than partying one, sigh).

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