Anonymity Nowhere By: Dead Caffeine Junkie & Keishi Chapter Two
Iki froze, looking back at Alerio with stunned eyes, dark green looking even darker now that his skin had suddenly gone paler. He pulled his hand back and sat up, still watching Alerio. "Look..." He said shakily. "I dunno what the other guy's tole you but I'm not a slut." Shakily because he'd thought Alerio was a friend and now he was licking his hand in a triple x theatre and if this had been one big set-up he was gonna leave, care centre or no care centre.
Alerio blinked, his eyes refocusing on Iki, the lust draining away, replaced by fear. "No one's told me anything about you. I--I don't know why I did that. Fuck." He sat forward, running a hand agitatedly through his hair. "FUCK, I really don't know what's wrong with me. I swear I'm not usually a spazz like this. It's just-" he cut himself off abruptly, snapping his mouth shut and looking away.
Iki cocked his head, now feeling the draining of a good thing going. "Sorry..." he said."S'just some of Steve's mates aren't my mates and I thought they'd set me up or something, cause why would you just do that, and to me, and really, it's cool, chill... I mean..." he chewed on his thumb and looked away. "I mean, I didn't NOT like it..."
Alerio, barely hearing Iki's words, stood up abruptly. His mouth was set in a grim line, his features hard as he fixed his eyes on the screen across the room. "Why would you like that? Are you--?" He couldn't bring himself to say it.
Iki sighed and lay down on the sofa, taking advantage of the extra space and just lying there on his back, throwing an arm over his eyes. "Yea, I'm gay." He said with a toneless voice. It'd be disgust now and horror and then he'd be booted out, hopefully without a fight. Guess this night was a write-off for his new 'trying to be good' thing.
Alerio's breathing was loud, his gaze unwavering. His fists clenched, convulsed, then relaxed against his sides. Removing his teeth from the inside of his lip, he asked, "How did you find out? How did you know?"
Iki frowned under his arm, then moved it so he could turn his head sideways and look at Alerio in total confusion. "How did I know I was gay?" He asked, keeping a wary eye on Alerio's body movements just in case.
Alerio's head jerked in a parody of an affirming nod. Still he did not move from his stance in front of the couch.
Iki narrowed his eyes at him. "First of all, tell me you aren't gonna beat me up.'Cause one, it's just not nice and two, I could take you, you know..."
Alerio barked out a laugh in spite of himself, looking down at Iki's small form sprawled on the couch. "Yeah, okay," he teased. Shifting so he was sitting with his back against the couch, he shook his head, the tension in the room dissipating immediately. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that question." He looked down at the palm of his hand, his index finger running over the lines absently. "I'm sorry if I freaked you out."
Iki sat up, pulling his knees to his chest and shrugged. "S'okay." he said. "You'd be surprised how many guys freak out over a little thing like another guy being gay." he said sarcastically. "And if you aren't gonna beat me up.... I kinda always knew I was gay. And I met this guy at..." he paused, then made quotation marks in the air with his fingers, "an 'after school club' thing... and he kinda got me out of the closet so to speak."
Alerio's mouth downturned. "I'm not 'freaking out,' okay? I'm just trying to wrap my head around it all." He pulled out his cigs and offered Iki one, flipping open his zippo. "Alright, look." Twisting so he was staring at Iki, he said, "I'll level with you. I think two guys kissing each other is gross. Disgusting. It's weird. But sometimes..." he blew out a breath, "Sometimes it's not so weird. Like, at night, when I have no control over my thoughts... I think about it. I wonder what it would be like, all that kind of stuff." He lit his cigarette, then waved his hand around. "I'm probably not making any sense."
Iki took the fag- because he wasn't a fool- and lit up. "No, I get you. In fact, I feel exactly the same way about straight people. Only no wondering at night, cause ew, gross." He made a face. "But yea, I get you." He took a drag and thought for a second. "Have you ever tried?" He eventually asked.
Alerio's eyebrows disappeared underneath his bangs. "Uh, what?"
Iki smoked again before answering, almost infuriatingly casual. "Have you ever tried it out? What you wonder about. On some random guy friend back in junior school... or when you were too drunk or too high to care..." He raised an eyebrow at Alerio.
Alerio's face gave him away. He shook his head emphatically, certain that if he kept it up it'd just roll off and he'd be spared this suddenly excruciatingly embarrassing conversation. "I, uh, I haven't done anything. Ever."
Iki still eyed him a bit longer, waiting for the truth to drop out and lazily smoking like a femme fatale in a film noir movie.
Hesitantly, in the silence, Alerio's eyes slowly rose from where he had been staring at the floor to Iki's own gaze. His cigarette burned on, forgotten, inching toward his fingers like a slow moving snake. "Would you--?"
Iki wasn't going to make this easy for him. He had to be sure this is something he wanted to do, plus, he was slightly hurt about Alerio's reaction and wanted to see him squirm a little. "Would I what?" He asked, not unkindly.
The pounding in Alerio's chest was loud to his ears, his blood rushing madly through his veins. The disappointment he felt at what he perceived as Iki's vague refusal washed through him like a flood. "Nothing," he said quickly, wounded. 'What the fuck was I thinking?' he cursed at himself.
Iki rolled his eyes and actually looked Alerio in the eye for more than his usual quick uneasy glance. "Look. You're not gonna know unless you ask. So ask."
"No, no. It's okay. I was just being stupid or something." He laughed, nervous. "That's fucking typical, too. Of course I would ask you to kiss me, because, -you're- gay and -I'm- a guy so of COURSE you'd be into me, right?" he said sarcastically. "Why does logic like that always prevail? Fuck, forget I even brought it up. Just chalk it up to me being an idiot and you being too pretty for your own damn good." His cheeks colored as he realized what he'd let slip.
You're too pretty for your own damn good little boy. He remembered, he remembered wriggling out of another nameless strangers hands in fear and disgust and hate and going up to his mum and complaining (and wanting comfort cause the man had been way too friendly for his liking) and she'd ignored him until he tugged on her sleeve, after which she'd turned and dug her nails into his hand to detach it from her person and hissed in his ear 'If you don't fuck off I'm putting you in a time out' which meant the dreaded airing cupboard... but that wasn't his life anymore and it hadn't affected him, look, he didn't even remember it properly, so he dove forward and caught Alerio's face in his hands and kissed him. "There..." he panted, breathless suddenly, getting up and pacing himself."Now you know."
Alerio was stunned. The pressure of Iki's lips was still imprinted on his own, making them tingle. His eyes followed Iki as he paced, the brown of them wide and questioning. "Somehow I don't think the kiss is what has you doing that," he said quietly, indicating the path of Iki's strides.
Out of everything Alerio could say, that was the last thing Iki expected "Yea well... well, do you know now?" He asked, cause he knew he'd run off at the mouth if he went there.
Alerio's eyes flicked down to his cigarette, ground it out on the cement floor of the screening room. Biting his lip, he considered the floor for a minute and shook his head. Then he, very slowly, got up off the floor and stood in front Iki, halting his movements. Very carefully, he cupped the back of Iki's head with one hand, his fingers running through his hair and his thumb caressing the soft spot in front of his ear. Gently, slowly, he leaned down and pressed his mouth to Iki's, hesitant but wanting.
Iki stood still as Alerio held his head so gently, and he was suddenly hyper-aware of how fast his pulse was. He whimpered softly, because it was a long time since someone had treated him like this, and lifted a hand to hold Alerio's arm, kissing back just as gently, teasing with his tongue a little.
Alerio let his mouth fall open, his tongue brushing tentatively against Iki's own before he drew away. He was panting, hard, his chest rising and falling quickly. He watched Iki's eyes open, losing himself in the desire coursing through his veins. Without thinking, his other hand came up and he sandwiched Iki's face, bringing his mouth back down, this time much more fiercely. His tongue pushed inside almost immediately.
Iki yelped in surprise and submitted to the kiss, his own hands holding onto Alerio by the shoulders. He kissed back with equal fervor and slid one hand down to rest on the small of Alerio's back.
Alerio's arms wrapped around Iki, smoothing down his neck to crush the shorter boy to him. He automatically slipped his hands under Iki's shirt, fingertips brushing the skin of his back, nails just lightly grazing as his mouth worked over Iki's, nearly inhaling him.
The feeling of Alerio's nails over his back, however light they were, made Iki mewl, arching his back forward, which brought them into firmer contact. He curled his foot round Alerio's calf and tugged himself even closer, needing more contact, more pressure and more everything.
The feel of Iki's body against his own was intoxicating, and Alerio's own body demanded more. He reacted ferally, mindlessly, as his hands pulled Iki's shirt over his head. The kiss broke only long enough to get the offending material off of the skin he so suddenly craved, then Alerio was crushing Iki to him again, his hands roaming over the exposed flesh of his back, nails digging in even firmer now.
Iki shivered, partly from the sudden temperature change but mostly because he was pressed up against another guy who was really getting into it. He sighed into Alerio's mouth when he felt the nails in his back, and tugged similarly at Alerio's t-shirt, wanting to feel them skin to skin, toeing off his own shoes at the same time.
Alerio submitted, throwing his own shirt off himself before covering Iki's body with his own. He wasn't sure what was going on or where this was all going; all he knew was that it felt good, and he had this driving urge to make it feel -better-.
Caught up in the thing that was sweeping through them both, Iki dropped his hands to undo the button on his jeans, and then moved them to Alerio's waist, sliding them round to his back quickly, before he slid them forward and tugged at the fastenings of Alerio's corduroys, using his feet to try and drag his own jeans off with limited success.
Alerio's fingers helped Iki in his task, first helping to drag the boy's jeans off his hips, then helping to tug his own pants off. Baggy at the knees, they slid down effortlessly and he stood naked before Iki, having foregone on underwear because it was laundry day. His obvious erection jutted out from his body, hard and red-tipped and angry.
The two boys stood naked in front of each other, Iki foregoing underwear 'cause you just couldn't wear them under jeans that tight. His breath caught when he looked down at Alerio's dick, and he found himself pushing Alerio back a little ways towards the wall, walking forward to kick his jeans away at the same time. When Alerio's back made contact with the white concrete wall, Iki pressed in to give him another hungry kiss, his hand sliding down Alerio's stomach to grab a firm hold on the other boy's erection, and then he began to kneel down, licking Alerio's bare skin where he went by.
Alerio threw back his head, cradling Iki's head gently as he worked his way down his body. God, he felt so hot, despite being against the cold, painted wall. His fingers threaded through Iki's hair, wondering in its texture. He bit his bottom lip, almost hard enough to bleed, as he bucked into Iki's fist. Torture, pure torture.
Iki knelt between Alerio's legs, gazed up at him with eyes with pupils so dilated they'd gone inky, switched hands, quickly licking the one previously torturing Alerio so sweetly, teasing them both. He leant forward and didn't bother to fool around anymore, promptly enveloping just the head of Alerio's cock in his mouth in one quick move.
Alerio stared, dumbfounded, his eyes locked on Iki's inherently evil gaze. He fought to keep his eyes open, because the sight of Iki's pretty mouth around his cock was almost as sexy as the feel of it. He lost the battle, however, and shut his eyes slowly, a long moan coming out of his mouth as he held Iki by the base of his skull, long fingers wrapping around his neck gently, guiding. He had no idea anything could ever feel like this.
Iki let Alerio's steady fingers on the back of his head guide his movements for a while, enjoying the fact that -he- was pulling those noises from the other boy. Plus he'd always liked giving head. He knew he looked good on his knees, but decided that it was time to get down to business and show Alerio how good it could feel. He started concentrating on what he was doing, knelt up a little more and slowly but surely deep throated the other boy, swallowing around him as he did so, which was an unusual but handy talent to have.
"Fuck!" Alerio accidentally bit his tongue as Iki deep-throated him, the flash of pain only temporary but enough to have him cradling his mouth with one hand. Concentration broken for just a second, he opened his eyes and found them locked once again in Iki's kneeling form. Oh, fuck, but he looked so hot like that.
Iki heard Alerio swear and felt one hand leave the back of his head, so he peeked up and saw Alerio cradling his mouth. He slid his mouth back off Alerio's dick (and down again, just for fun) then pulled off and sat back, licking his lips. "You okay?" He asked, somewhat hoarsely.
"Don't stop, please don't fucking stop," Alerio pleaded, his hands returning to Iki's head, not pushing but insistently gentle. He didn't want to force Iki into anything, but damn if that hadn't been the best thing he'd ever felt in his young, short life.
Iki was happy that nothing was wrong, and equally happy to return to his former pastime. His hands moved to Alerio's hips, and he used more tongue this time, twirling it round the base and teasingly licking at the tip. This time when he deep throated, he hummed around Alerio's cock, always amused by what this usually did to the guy he was blowing.
Alerio's entire body convulsed, his hands tightening on Iki's head. He gasped, his throat working, trying his hardest to drink in the air but it seemed like none would come to him. It was incredible, the way Iki's mouth worked him. It was better than any late fantasy cooked up in his virgin head.
Iki mentally grinned and actually chuckled around the length in his mouth, which he supposed wouldn't be helping Alerio any. His head swam with booze and lack of oxygen, but he wasn't thinking of anything right then except pleasuring the boy in front of him.
Alerio grasped Iki's ears, his fingernails digging in as he cried out harshly, his throat ragged. He came violently, unexpectedly, the suction of Iki's mouth and throat finally just too much for him to handle. Roughly, he grabbed Iki's head and forced him to stand, shoving his tongue down his throat as he rubbed his spasming cock against him, coating them both with the white hot fluid.
Iki whimpered when Alerio dug his fingernails in, not unpleased. He attempted to swallow, but was dragged away, slightly shocked and thinking that Alerio was freaking out and trying to get him away. So he was pleasantly surprised when Alerio kissed him and practically mouth-raped him with his ferocity, Iki moaning helplessly against Alerio as he bucked his hips up into the come covering their midriffs, reaching down to grab his own unattended erection and began jerking off using Alerio's come as lube.
Alerio's hips jerked once, twice, almost in protest to his slowly softening cock. It was beautiful, wonderful, hedonistic... but it wasn't enough. Alerio opened his eyes. Breaking away from the harsh kiss, just in time to see Iki fist himself. Fuck, he looked so hot like that, touching himself, so hard and ready and covered in Alerio's own jism... Alerio could feel his cock twitch in response. Suddenly, he couldn't seem to get enough of Iki, and reached forward, closing his own fist around Iki's pistoning on his cock.
Iki gasped and bowed his head against Alerio's chest, looking down at their combined hands, and panting under his breath "please, please, please, please..." bucking his hips up into their hands awkwardly.
Alerio caught Iki's mouth again in another wet, sticky kiss. Kneeling down and leaning his forehead against the shorter boy's, Alerio's mouth twisted up into a self-satisfied, beguiling smirk. "Please what?" he asked coyly.
Iki made a noise like a puppy that wanted to go out, and squirmed against Alerio. "Please, please don't stop, please lemme come, please... "He begged, his voice breathless and harsh.
Alerio was breathless himself, his laugh catching in the back of his throat. His curiosity was getting the better of him, and the sickness he felt earlier about two guys together had long since faded away. Carefully so as not to trip over the scattered pants and other various items of clothing at his feet, he kneeled down onto his knees. He looked searchingly up into Iki's face. "Is this okay?" he asked, paused before Iki's leaking erection.
Iki's chest was pulling in and out like a man rescued from drowning, and faint tremors ran through him. "I-if you want to..." He said, swallowing for breath. "Don't feel you have to..." he said meaning it.
Alerio's eyes were dark, and he nodded faintly. "I want to," he whispered, and as the words left his lips, he realized it was true. He wanted to know what it felt like to have another man in his mouth, an act so intimate he couldn't understand why society perceived it such a dirty act. Almost reverently, he grasped the base and with a tentative flick of his tongue, he tasted the tip of Iki's cock, licking off the precome.
Iki sighed sharply and tilted his head back, clinging onto Alerio's shoulders. He felt his knees start to shake and wondered how the hell he was going to manage to stand through this...
Alerio drew his tongue back in his mouth, tasting, curious. It was sharp, bitter, but not unpleasant, and the taste sparked something inside his belly that had him drawing in a quick, much-needed breath. Without any warning, he stood up and shoved his tongue down Iki's throat, distracting him. With his hands gripping Iki's upper arms, he turned them and shoved the smaller boy against the wall, going to his knees immediately and taking Iki back into his mouth.
Iki made a muffled asking noise when Alerio suddenly stood up, but didn't protest when he was shoved into the wall behind him, and one hand returned to its grip on Alerio's shoulder as the other boy's mouth went back around his dick. His other hand stretched out, grabbing at the wall for some kind of hold, but he ended up accidentally flicking the switch that turned the porn screen back on, the movie resuming play. His hand lowered a little, and he ignored the sounds coming from the screen as he made interesting sounds of his own, both of them bathed in bad flickering light.
The blaring moans and grunts coming from the movie distracted Alerio for a bit, and he pulled his mouth from Iki to glance at the screen. His mind noted foggily that Krueger had changed the porn running through all the theatres to a gay one, and the image of one guy straddling another while he took him down his throat gave Alerio a wicked idea. Grabbing the root of Iki's cock, he gave the underside a full, sweeping lick before smirking up at him. "Want to have some fun?"
Iki looked down at Alerio, wondering why he had stopped, and tugged at his shoulder a little to regain his attention. He grabbed the wall again when Alerio licked his cock cheekily. "We aren't already?" He asked, with a breathless grin.
Grinning, Alerio stood up, naked save for his combat boots still on his feet. Without another word, he backed up till the back of his knees hit the couch. He let himself fall backward, his half-hard cock flopping as he splayed out on the couch. With one lifted eyebrow and a crooked finger, he beckoned Iki close, boldened by the porn playing out of the corner of his eye.
Raising an eyebrow, Iki followed Alerio, crawling up and over the arm of the sofa and crouching over him like a predator, cheekily pinching Alerio's side gently, but wondering what was going on in Alerio's head.
Alerio watched Iki crawl toward him with smoky eyes, the smirk never quite leaving his lips. As he came close enough for contact, Alerio reached out and grabbed his upper arm, pulling him roughly forward and claiming his mouth again. He held the back of Iki's head to his as his other hand snaked around his waist, positioning Iki until he was straddling his chest. Breaking the kiss, he let his tongue run down Iki's chest and abdomen before scooping his cock up with his hand and taking the tip back into his mouth.
Iki laughed as Alerio pulled him forward, though it was half-stifled by the kiss. He allowed himself to be man-handled to where Alerio wanted, and when the other boy once again took his cock in his mouth he understood what he was doing. Looked like porn served as great inspiration. He ran his hand through Alerio's hair almost compulsively, his other hand supporting himself on the couch back as he fucked Alerio's mouth.
Alerio took in as much of Iki's throbbing dick as he could. He was incredibly inexperienced but more than willing to learn as he went along. His tongue massaged the underside as he allowed Iki's hips to thrust forward, sometimes wrapping around the head. His hands were not idle, however, gripping Iki's hips with bruising fingertips as he guided their movement.
Alerio's inexperience made the blowjob better, if anything. Alerio explored, he experimented, he tried things out to see what got the best reaction and he still satisfied Iki's need to be controlled, bruising his bony hipbones with insistent fingertips. Iki couldn't last much longer, not with having sucked Alerio off, and the porn, and the booze, and GOD this felt good. He tried to buck his hips without losing that mouth or choking Alerio. "I-I'm I'm close Alerio, I'm close..." He warned, not wanting to kill the guy.
Iki's admission only spurred Alerio onward, and if anything he became even more aggressive, his mouth attacking Iki's cock with renewed fervor. He was rock-hard by this time, the eroticism behind blowing another guy something he'd never thought he'd be into but finding that it was fast becoming a vice for him. He disallowed Iki to move his hips, his fingers squeezing his hipbones, digging into his flesh even more sharply.
"Oh, oh, God, fuck!" Iki yelped, trying to move his hips, but he. just. couldn't. He moaned hard and the pain of Alerio's fingers digging into him tipped him over, he planted his hands on the arm behind Alerio's head and came.
Alerio's throat worked around Iki's cock, taking in all of his orgasm as he could. The liquid was hot and salty, and overflowing from his mouth. Releasing Iki's hips, he let him pull away as come dribbled down his chin. Wiping at it, he took a moment to watch it glisten on his fingers before he shoved them in Iki's mouth, followed quickly by his own tongue.
Iki had time enough to slow his breathing a little before he was tasting himself on Alerio's fingers and then grappling with Alerio's tongue, practically purring at the sensation, carelessly kneading Alerio's chest above his right nipple where his hand was.
Alerio arched into the touch, his arms crushing Iki onto his body, rubbing his hard cock against Iki's body fitfully, desperate again for release.
Iki wormed his free hand down to take hold of Alerio's recovered erection, using his other hand to hold onto Alerio's wrist and move the hand himself so that Alerio was finger-fucking his mouth. Iki's eyes closed as he fellated them like he'd done earlier to Alerio's dick, his own rising again to match Alerio's with the illicit taste of his own come on Alerio's hand in his mouth. Ah, the joys of youth.
Alerio let Iki do whatever he wanted, more than happy to let him take control as he succumbed to the sensations coursing through him. Iki's hand was hot on his cock, working it hard and fast, and he was more than turned on by the little pink tongue swirling around his fingers. Letting out a helpless, hedonistic moan, he closed his eyes and came again very quickly, spurting almost lazily across Iki's hand.
Iki let go of Alerio's fingers when he came, and wriggled his way down, fisting his own cock while licking
Alerio's stomach clean. When he came over his own hand, he sat up by Alerio's feet and, using his fingers and tongue, lazily cleaned himself up.
Alerio sat up as well, leaning over to clean the last bit of come from Iki's stomach. His tongue slid along his flat abdomen until it was clean, then he helped Iki suck his fingers clean, all while keeping eye contact.
Iki couldn't help chuckling at the feeling of Alerio's tongue on his stomach, and played at catching Alerio's tongue as he helped him clean his fingers.
Alerio drew Iki's index finger into his mouth, sucking on the joint. He released it, grinning maniacally as he dove for Iki's mouth, kissing him fully-- lips, teeth, tongue and all. It was a kiss full of comraderie, temporarily sated lust, and curiosity.
Iki glowed with the kiss, because the tiny sober part of him had been wondering- are we gonna be hugged now, or is he gonna kick us out? - but he knew now, so he kissed back with abandon and surety, trying not to grin and break it.
Alerio hugged Iki to him, their naked bodies comfortable against each other. He shifted his leg, which caused one of the boots he was still wearing to thunk loudly against the side of the couch. Suddenly, everything seemed hilarious, and he broke the kiss to toss his head back and laugh loudly. "I can't believe through all of that, I still had my boots on," he gasped out.
Iki caught the humor and collapsed on Alerio's chest giggling helplessly until the tears ran. It might not have been so funny, but booze did a lot to improve humor. He sighed, still chuckling and looked at their strewn out clothes. "Messy." he commented. "Weren't we told to be clean?"
Alerio blinked around the room, bleary-eyed because he was so tired. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Krueger's gonna have my head in the morning. Or," he giggled insanely, "my ass. Since I'm apparently gay and all now."
Iki made a face at the thought of Krueger and Alerio anywhere NEAR that area, then frowned thoughtfully. "You're hardly gay." He pointed out, trying to reassure. "Fooling around with one guy doesn't make you gay." He reached out to try and grab his shirt without leaving the couch, ending up stretched half way across the floor before he decided to get up. He threw Alerio's clothes to him then dressed quickly, leaving his shoes and leaving his shirt open.
Alerio watched Iki, confused. "I don't know where you were, but where I was, I was kissing, sucking, and licking come off of another guy. And I enjoyed it. Immensely. In fact, I do believe what we just did could constitute as the highlight of my stupid, pathetic life thus far." As he continued, his voice got angrier. "So fucking excuse me if it was just 'fooling around' to you, I seemed to have put a little more significance on it than I should have!" Hastily dressing, he gave Iki one last look then headed to the door. "I'm gonna ask Krueger if I can sleep in the other theatre tonight. You can stay here as long as you want. Bye," he said coldly, and unlocked the door. He threw the key on the floor in front of it.
Iki was confused by Alerio's anger at first, confused and a little hurt at the end. But he knew he didn't want him to leave. Why did everyone always leave? "Wait, don't go!" He said, catching up with Alerio. "I didn't mean it like that. I thought you didn't want to be gay, and anyway, I am just one guy, you could be bi, or anything, and I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression but I didn't expect you to want to start holding hands and being boyfriends after one night of not sex. I didn't know, I thought you just wanted to get off and there was no one else around 'cept me... and please don't leave me, please. You can stay and be mad with me, I'll sleep at the other end of the theatre if you want, but please... don't leave."
Alerio's mouth twisted, his eyes darting from the door to Iki. He felt like he was about to cry, in fact could feel the tears burning at the corner of his eyes, but he'd be damned if he'd let Iki see. Blinking rapidly, he turned away. "I don't fucking know what I want," he admitted, voice thick. "God, I sound like a fucking girl!" His fists clenched, convulsed. "Of course you'd think the way that you did, I'm the fucking idiot getting attached here." He deflated, head hanging. "Why the fuck would you want me around after that, anyway?" he asked dully. "I'm just screwing everything up."
Iki blinked. "Sorry, it's just that I've had a lot of sex with people and they usually don't want to talk in the mornings... or even after... if I thought you thought that it meant we were going out now, I wouldn't have done anything. I don't even know you!" he said this with slight sarcasm, but it trailed off when he saw how bad Alerio was feeling. And he did like the guy... "Look, it's not your fault okay." He said. "I'm sorry if I made you think whatever... but, I'm not that idealistic anymore. And I didn't think you would be either."
Alerio shook his head. "And I'm not, at least when it comes to a lot of things." He sighed, walking back to the couch. Sitting down, he cradled his head in his hands, then looked back up at Iki. "What would you say if I told you that I'm a virgin? Meaning no sexual history whatsoever, guy or girl." He took in a slow breath. "That maybe sex and love were the only things I had any hope left in?"
Iki leant back against the wall near the door. "First of all I'd say I was surprised..." He said, especially with what he knew. He resisted the urge to grin. "Secondly I'd say in that case, you probably wouldn't want me anyway. Save yourself for someone you really like, someone you love, who'd deserve to be loved by you." He clicked his tongue stud against his teeth pensively.
Alerio lowered his eyes, nodded. "Okay," was all he could think to say. He couldn't bring himself to tell Iki that it seemed like it was too late. He couldn't help how tight his chest was getting, and he was mentally screaming at himself for getting so attached to someone after only spending a few hours with them. Sex was sex, he tried to convince himself. Getting off did not mean the same as falling in love. Somehow, he wasn't convinced.
Iki knew he wasn't the best candidate for being loved, but even so, that stung. "Okay..." he said back."So, uhm..." He fidgeted with his thumb ring, and the booze was now making him feel slightly sick. Okay, maybe not just the booze. "Ok. I'm gonna go home then ok? I can't afford to worry Mrs. Weatherman anyway, I guess. I'll see you around?"
Alerio gritted his teeth. 'No, you cannot go. No, you cannot just walk out of my life so you can ignore me at school like you always do,' he thought. 'Because I know you will. You've done it in the past. Never mind that I've only stared at you in the hallways, wondering what the hell there was about you that I found so fascinating. Never mind that, perhaps, subconsciously, I've always wanted to talk to you, and now that I've done ten times more than that with you, you're going to walk away from me.' Outwardly, he just shrugged. "Need any help getting home? Krueger's got a car, he can take you home."
Iki buttoned his shirt up and pulled on his shoes. "No, that's okay." He flitted at the door. "So... bye then."
Alerio shot up off the couch. "Wait!"
Iki physically jumped at the sound of Alerio's voice, and then turned, totally on guard. "What!" He asked, alarmed.
Alerio fought for words. "You-- you're just-- Oh fuck it." He pulled out a cigarette on habit and lit it. He looked at the lighter in his hand-- it wasn't his Zippo. "Here," he said, tossing the lighter at Iki, "you left this."
Iki caught it one-handed, looked down and back up. "Oh. Thanks..." He looked at Alerio unsurely.
"What?" Alerio snapped waspishly, unnerved by Iki's gaze. He turned and began pacing the room, smoking like a chimney. "I thought you were going."
Iki looked away. "You're right. Bye then." he said, and slipped out the door, pulling it to behind him. He leant back against it and hid his face in his hands, wondering if he'd break down and fall into little pieces all over the floor right here, but decided that Krueger wouldn't like it, so he slunk off to do it at home.
Alerio watched the door as it shut behind Iki, his face crumbling. Still, he didn't allow himself any tears, instead he just curled up facing the back of the couch and closed his eyes. Maybe something hot and wet slid down his face, and maybe it came from under his eyelids, but he'd be damned if he'd admit he was crying over something as stupid as 'fooling around' with almost a total stranger. No matter how right it had felt.
TBC.