Anticipation Pt. 1: 6 days, 21 hours, 40 minutes, 20 seconds
For Sir
He first came into my life about 20 years ago. I met Him on Recon. I was 26 and new to the Internet. While I don't remember who contacted who first, I do remember the first picture I saw of Him was a full body shot with a big red bow covering His Cock. He was, and still is very beautiful. He has the dark features of an Italian Man, along with a beautiful hairy chest. We started texting and calling back and forth. I responded well to His deep voice, aggressiveness, and energy. Almost from the very first time He called me "faggot", He had me wanting to please Him. My jobs and daily life generally force me to be in some sort of control of events, and people, so being able to give up control is rare for me. I know that I was born submissive, but only to the right Man. Quite honestly, that kept me from just randomly offering myself to Doms. As a good faggot and sub, I suppose I should have just set up shop in a glory hole and sucked as many dicks and got fucked by as many more. But that's not me. I wanted to belong to someone as a thing owned, and I suppose somewhat selfishly, I also wanted to keep my boyfriend (from now on referred to as "Boss") whom I loved very much, and was understanding and supportive of my pursuit of fetish.
Sir lived in Seattle at the time, and I lived in San Francisco with Boss. We had an open relationship. I am into BDSM and fetish, while Boss was just into topping young guys with his big cock. We played together and separate (still do). Boss eventually got into doing porn work, and became a fairly well known raw top. Those days were pretty fun, I must admit because he would get just a bit more aggressive with the sex we were having. The porn company liked him to get a little rough with the bottoms they were filming him with, so he would often bring work home.
Anyway, the first few months that Sir and I spoke, He would guide me through using my hole (eventually referred to it as cunt) with various toys and my fingers. He would also have me tie up my balls, smack them, or hang things from them like boots.
He also taught me a mantra that I can recite by heart to this day:
I am an obedient, obscene, mindless, gaping fuck hole. I am a tool for Master's Cock. I am my Master's whore. Thank You Sir!
At some point I was commanded to telephone Sir every morning, and recite the mantra, beg for Him to use me, and then I would use my throat muscles to open my throat for His use. He could hear over the phone the gurgle of my throat as it went slack. I think He was beating off, but He never said anything to me. I'd like to think that in some small way, I gave Him pleasure at the start of His day.
Sir would require me to take pictures of whatever He had demanded I shove up my cunt, or suck on. Sometimes it was vegetables, sometimes my dildo. Whatever He asked me to do, I was required to be looking directly into the camera, as if I was looking directly at Him. I had to communicate my desire and yes, desperation through my eyes for Him.
I got to visit Him once in Seattle. It was very exciting for me, because I had never done anything like that before. He could have been an axe murderer for all I knew. Deep down, I knew it was ok. For me, when we met it was like we knew each other for ages. I immediately bent down and kissed His feet.
He claimed my cunt as His that weekend, through multiple fuckings. He also claimed my throat cunt as His through hours of cock sucking. As for my slave sackÉ Well, He beat the cum right out of my balls.
I left Seattle at the end of the weekend with a new appreciation for service, and my role in the hierarchy of Men. I had found that my purpose was to be useful to Him, and indeed, any Man that demanded my service.
Sir and I kept talking almost every day. He soon had my shoving a baseball bat into His faggot's cunt for His amusement. I enjoyed the challenge, but have to be honest, I was a fairly slender young man then, and my hips are quite narrow. It was difficult getting the bat into my hole, and I failed more times than I succeeded. But not for lack of trying!
I am an obedient, obscene, mindless, gaping fuck hole. I am a tool for Master's Cock. I am my Master's whore. Thank You Sir!
Boss purchased an inflatable butt plug for me at around this time, and I got very excited to use it! I may have started off too fast, because about the 2nd time I played with it, I heard and felt a "pop", tear, and searing pain when I removed the deflated plug. I tore my cunt hole!
About a year after I visited Sir in Seattle, I grew weary of long distance self bondage, and use. I no longer felt I was useful, and I will admit, to some extent it bored me. I really needed the direct physical contact of the Man who dominated me.
I worked with a few local Doms at that point, and have posted stories about those times on Nifty. My horizons expanded with their use, and I was happy to have been the subject of electro play, puppy play, straight jackets, groups, being lent out, bukkake, flogging, forced hair cutsÉ I was really learning a lot, but something was missing. It took me quite awhile to figure it out, but what was missing was Sir. He created me. He allowed me the space to figure out what I was and what my purpose in life was: To serve and be useful.
Sir and I drifted a part for several years. He moved to Ohio and used a few boys until He found a special boy. We started talking again about a year or so ago, and only until recently resumed more of a Dom/sub head space.
Sir told me that He was coming to San Francisco for a week of personal business, and that He wanted to see me for part of that visit. I would have from 10:00 am on a Monday through the evening hours of Tuesday. I could pick a motel, hotel room, Airbnb, or we could go camping, but that He was going to reclaim His creation once again. Now I have to tell you, that during these years of us not really communicating very often, Boss started having some medical problems. So out of respect, I ceased my outside play, since Boss wasn't in a position to really enjoy himself. In fact, Boss lost his libido for quite some time. I told Sir this, and that the last time I had Cock inside me was July 31, 2015 (It was now February 2017). I told Him that I would be practically a virgin again. That seemed to excite Him very much and He even said that He would reclaim His holes! In the last few weeks a few Doms on Recon and Scruff have asked for service, but I want Sir to pop my cherry again, and claim what is His. He can give me to those Men later, if He wants!
It is now a week away, and Sir has asked me to post something on Nifty at least 30Kbs (it will likely be more) that highlights my anticipation for His visit. He would like me to post about the plans for the visit, my hope for use, and everything else. He said He would read it with His Dick in His faggot's head. He added that it will be the first in a series of three.
I chose to get a room at what I remembered as a seedy, cruisy motel in The Castro (I have since moved out of San Francisco, but remain in the area) called Beck's Motor Lodge. I thought that if I got a room there, I could help anticipate any of Sir's needs in regards to the visit. It would not be a problem if someone heard a belt being lashed across my ass, or deep moaning, or face slapping. Additionally, since it was known as a cruise spot, there was a chance that Sir might just open the door with me kneeling on the floor with my mouth open, ready to take all cummers.
I booked the room, and then found out later that they have remodeled and been gentrified to a certain extent. Apparently the open cruising isn't a thing there anymore. Oh well. I have a list of places we can go, if Sir wanted a more public display of His faggot.
I have been playing with my nips a lot more. It turns out, the tear that occurred when I used the inflatable plug caused a fissure, and I sometimes get a swollen patch of skin around my hole when I use it. Plugs hurt more than they should now, and douching aggravates it too, so I've kept anal use to a minimum lately. And more importantly, it is no longer a beautiful perfect hole that gapes into a perfect "O" shaped mouth for Sir's amusement. Anyway, I have been using suction on my nips, which have always been VERY sensitive and are prominent even without being pumped or clamped. They are a very good way of controlling me physically, and they also seem to have a switch that opens my throat cunt. When they come out of suction, they are very swollen, and much longer, and even more sensitive. I told Sir this, and showed Him a picture of my goal for my slave nips as well as a picture of where mine are now, and Sir became excited about that as well. He calls them sow's teats, and He says that He is going to take me to Mr. S during the visit to get something that will assist Him further in modifying them into the teats He envisions.
He also mentioned getting me a chastity device that will fit my particular physicality. I had a silicone device, but the design doesn't quite work with my clit (as Sir calls it). Sir had me put it on on February 28, 2017. After a week, the silicone began burning my skin, and I had to remove it with His permission. Since then (it's now March 27, 2017) I have been in self-imposed chastity without the device. Sir told me that I must not touch myself (I'm a chronic masterbator) and that I definitely cannot cum. After the first week, I was overcome with a deep ache in my balls that would not go away. I couldn't walk completely upright. It ached ALL THE TIME. Boss knew what was up, and thought it was kind of funny. I texted Sir and told him about it, and He was VERY pleased. What's interesting is after about 2 days of constant ache, it all went away. The pressure, the ache. I did NOT cum in my sleep, nor did I touch myself. In fact, I rarely even got hard in my sleep anymore or wake up with a hardon. I really and truly believe that my body is bending to Sir's will. It doesn't want to displease Him either, and it self-regulating.
Because I knew that Sir was pleased by the pressure, ache and pain from before, I have started to wear a leather ball stretcher whenever possible to increase the possibility of some discomfort. It has sort of worked. I also suction my nips whenever possible, and the RARE occasion when I think about touching my clit, I pull and stroke my teats instead. I hope that He is pleased with that.
Those are the basic plans. Here is where I, as a sub get stumped. Sir has asked me to write what use I hope for. This is a struggle. He has taught me over the years, and I know, that a faggot/slave/sub has no right to hope for anything. We are appliances to be used by Men. Toasters don't hope for use, they are just there available for when they are needed. Sometimes it's everyday, sometimes it's not.
But Sir has asked to know what I hope for in regards to the visit and use, so that is what I will do.
I hope that I can be naked around Him when He has some clothes on. That is a huge turn on for me and really cements the Dom/sub role headspace for me. Having said that, I love His naked body, and hope to spend quite a bit of time worshipping it!
He has said that He wants to stare into my eyes with His Fist in my skull to keep me from vomiting when He evacuates my slave sack. I hope that I deliver in giving Him the proper joy from doing so!
I hope to drink His piss, although previous attempts at drinking from the tap have resulted in me puking. Except once. Boss drank a ton of water one day for the whole day, and when his piss was running fairly clear, he shoved his cock down my throat, and very slowly over the course of several minutes released his piss into my belly. I was able to easily keep everything down. I hope that if Sir needs me to take His piss, He is patient to a certain extent. In any case, if it pleases Him, I would certainly be honored to wear His piss and/or be piss fucked by Him.
I hope to be able to spend hours worshipping His Cock and to have my throat cunt tooled out by His Cock. I hope to sputter and gag and even scream around His Cock while it is deep in my throat. I hope that the source of the screaming is Sir inflicting whatever suffering He feels appropriate for His needs.
I hope that I have the chance to worship His hole and to give Him pleasure for as long as He would allow me to do so.
If He takes me to one of the sex clubs or glory holes in the Folsom area, I hope that I will please Him with my enthusiasm and dedication to His orders.
I hope He will use me in a dark and dirty alley way, alone or with others.
I hope that I will finish the weekend with a reddened ass from His belt or one of the implements that I will be bringing in my "boy bag".
More than anything, I hope that He enjoys Himself and is pleased with my service and devotion for having created me, and for continuing to take an interest in my progression.
I am an obedient, obscene, mindless, gaping fuck hole. I am a tool for Master's Cock. I am my Master's whore. Thank You Sir!
Thank You Sir! Please stay tuned for the next installment at Sir's Command.
obsceneslave@aol.com