Araxos By The Sea/My Remote Assignment Continued After the Remote, Part I:
Dennis went on to his next assignment which was in Germany. A couple of weeks after Dennis, Sam, Sully and Suggs left for other assignments in Germany, I made the transition to Athenai Airport and made new friends. The closeness of these new friends was nothing like the bonding that took place on the remote, but there were some similarities in some cases. No sexual encounters, but some closeness was achieved.
Jack went to Germany and over the next three years he visited while on TDY (Temporary Duty) and when he could.
Sam, Sully, and Suggs all were stationed in Germany as well.
I was happy with my single life and did not pursue finding a mate of either sex. I loved my job; I loved my freedom to live off base where I had my first apartment. I saw the sights; found favorite places, enjoyed mixing and meeting with the locals and learning the culture. In February of 1971 I took military hops to Germany and visited with some of the guys from the remote. I saw all but Dennis. He was in the Black Forrest somewhere and his wife had joined him. I got few letters from him and the usual Christmas Cards and Birthday Greetings.
Upon my return from the vacation in Germany I met a young student who lived with her sister and brother in law who was with the US Army stationed in Athens. She was from the island of Rhodes. We were very attracted to each other. We spent as much time together as possible. When school was out for her in May she went back to the island for the summer. I would fly to the island to be with her when I wasn't working. I proposed marriage to her just before school was out and her family held a big traditional engagement event. The Greeks made a bigger affair of the engagement than the weddings. Gifts were given by one and all.
Her family was from a long line of residents from the castle on the island. I never knew their standing in the community, but it must have been one of a high position. They lived in an area that took up about a city block adjacent to the castle itself. When I was visiting, I had an entire house to myself, complete with a maid. The eating and dancing was plentiful, just like in the movies. Watching "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" always brings back fond memories of those days. Her family even offered to procure a prostitute for me before the wedding ceremony. That was a bit of a shock to me and I tried to gracefully and respectfully decline their offer. I didn't have an interpreter with me at the time, but they seemed to respect my declining their offer. I was told later that it was not uncommon for the girl's family to provide such an offer.
We were planning to wed on the 4th of July. But it didn't happen. When she came back to Athens she made a date with my best friend. I was shocked when he told me. I think she was scared of getting married and afraid that she would be separated from her family and friends if we were to end up living in the United States. Her brother in law did not have family left and he had no intentions of leaving Greece when he retired. At any rate, I went to my supervisor for help. He had been married to a Greek for several years and he knew the customs. He knew exactly what to do in this case.
Hector, my friend, was to go ahead with a date, but he needed to take her some place public where they could be caught on camera. That would be the only way to break the engagement legally. I would have to show evidence that she was not honorable, and being on a date with another man would do it.
Hector took her to the beach while we stayed high on a cliff overlooking the secluded beach and videotaped the entire episode. It worked. I was devastated and decided I would not marry but be forever single. It was in July when Hector and I brought home two sisters from the Isle of Korfu. I had decided that I no longer wanted to be a virgin. It was time to find out what having sex with a female was all about for me.
Hector and I brought the girls to my apartment and I let Hector have the bedroom while the other sister and I stayed in the living room. It was a wonderful experience. It was the perfect introduction a virgin like me needed. She couldn't speak a word of English and I didn't know enough Greek to know what she might be saying. So it was perfect. If I wasn't doing it right she couldn't tell me. It took the pressure off for me. Instinct took over and we had what I thought was great intercourse. Well, as far as I was concerned it was great. At least she didn't laugh at me. If she complained about anything I didn't know. But according to the way she acted it appeared that she enjoyed it very much.
After the Remote, Part II:
It turned out that I was Hectors supervisor and one night he came to me very frustrated. He was homesick for his girlfriend. They had been planning a marriage for over a year and they were both frustrated. He had just talked with her on the phone. I talked to him for a long time and he decided to call her back and tell her they would go ahead and get married. He made all of the arrangements, did the paperwork from base so he could bring her back with him.
Then he came back to me and asked me to be his Best Man. I was honored and finally consented. It had been two and a half years since I had seen my family. I was due to separate from the service within the year and I had planned to take a European discharge, tour Europe for the summer and meet my friend in Boston around Thanksgiving. We wanted to do the "Route 66" thing and end up in California by Christmas. I had no plans after that. Actually I was very attracted to him and was anticipating some male to male experience with him if he were willing.
So, we boarded a 707 and landed in Texas a week before the wedding. I got off the plane in Dallas while Hector flew on to Brownsville. I hadn't made confirmed plans on how I was going to make the trip down, but I thought spending a few days with the family would be ok and I would fly back to Greece after Hectors wedding.
I took a bus from Dallas to Ardmore where I visited with my family. Most of my High School and early college friends were away at the time and my mother kept talking to me about my old high school girlfriend, so on Sunday I called her house. That's when I learned that her mother had died in June of that year. Also, I found out that she hadn't married as had been announced in the paper. She thought I had married. I didn't get to talk to her on Sunday, but her best friend and cousin took a message for me.
On Monday morning I got a call from her. We went out for lunch that day, spent the day together and I proposed to her that night. We got the papers, blood tests, preacher and married Tuesday. I had to call overseas to have three roommates move out. At the time I had two Greek ladies and one Italian lady living with me in my apartment. After the experience with the young lady from Korfu I was ready to have as much fun as I could.
So, we got married on Tuesday, went to Texas on Wednesday to get her military dependant identification, bought tickets for her flight to Athens, went through three wedding showers, and got ready for the long drive down to the tip of Texas to be in a wedding on Saturday. We borrowed a Volkswagen from an old High School friend of ours and made the trip. Many people were surprised that I got married after the wild summer I had displayed. My reputation went off of the records from July to September and then back to a respectable condition after we returned married.
Then in December of the next year after we married our first child was born. Jack had been down from Germany and was the first to hold our son after us. I don't know what I would have done without his help that day. A couple of days later he left for his return to Germany. That was the last time we saw him. In 1999 I made contact with him via e-mail; we called each other, and keep in touch now. He is in Colorado and I'm in Oklahoma.
In 1993 I confessed to my family that I was attracted to men and had realized that I had finally come to terms with it, fully expecting my wife to ask for a divorce. She didn't, we tried to exist together, but it didn't work out and in 1996 we divorced.
In 1999 I found my partner and we have been together ever since. Just like in Greece, after I came out of the closet and let Jack know I was living a gay lifestyle, he hasn't abandoned our friendship.
In 2000 a neighbor of mine wanted to visit his family in Buffalo, New York but was not capable of driving himself, so I took us in my car. I had already written a letter to Sam who lives in that area and thanked him for that question he asked of me back in 1970 when I was so upset. I told him that I finally answered that question and that I was living the lifestyle with my partner. He did not abandon me and I got to visit with him when I got to the Buffalo area.
I did not get such a good reception from Dennis. Actually I never got a reply from Dennis himself. I wrote to thank him for our experience overseas and tried to explain to him how happy I finally came to be. His wife wrote a very hateful response, but I never got anything from Dennis himself. I tried phoning him but was never allowed to talk with him. He knows I'm in the Tulsa area, but he would not be able to contact me through information or the phone book because I'm not listed.
On the trip to Buffalo we spent the night in Dennis' hometown and I did get to visit with his dad on the phone. His dad remembered me from an earlier visit when my wife and I, along with our 6 month old son and my 12 year old brother drove through on our way to New York and Washington D.C. in 1973.
Now it's been thirty nine years since that night in Dennis' room and I've lost a lot of friends along the way, but I finally answered Sam's question and am so grateful that things have worked out the way they have, even with the loss of those who were once considered friends.
I still hold on to hope that one day I will actually hear from Dennis some way. It could be by phone, letter, or e-mail, because I know in my heart he would understand what I was saying to him. I think he would be pleased to know that I am living a happy life finally and have come to terms with my feelings. One of the songs on the juke box in the club that was played a lot that year on the remote was "Easy To Be Hard" and Dennis seemed to have a connection with it and its meaning. I always felt that he had been hurt deeply in his past and he understood personally what the song was saying. That is another reason why I don't accept the response that his wife gave to me. He wouldn't be so hard. He wasn't that kind of a person. He was gentle and understanding. Even if he didn't agree with others, he was never hurtful, hateful, or rude to them.
So, maybe there is a chance that Dennis will have an opportunity to learn what has happened to me since that night and understand my gratitude for his friendship that he shared with me those decades ago. I can only hope.
I have much for which I am deeply grateful. My friends from the past are certainly among them.
THE END
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