All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
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"AS I REMEMBER HIM"
A story by
Ritch Christopher
"He turned the darkest day into a world of gold..."
Portia Nelson. 1995.
Chapter Four
During a police interrogation, it's always required of the interrogator that he state if the interviewee was 'oriented times four'...person, place, time, and situation. When Thad awoke to find David sleeping closely to his back with his arm stretched over Thad's waist, Thad felt no connection with any of the four orientation criteria. Moreover, he was afraid to move and he had no idea what to do. How long David had been in this position? True to his word, Thad had not made any advances or taken advantage of his 'straight guest', but he'd go out of his fucking mind if David didn't move and go back to his own side of the bed! Thad wasn't sure how much time passed before David finally DID move...an hour? Two? An entire night? Jesus! Thad's raging hard on was about to burst with untended desire.
Finally, when David was sleeping soundly, and once again at a safe distance, Thad had to get out of bed and go to the bathroom for five minutes of relief. What the fuck was wrong with him? Was he really that horny or had David turned him on that much? Thad had just lost his tentative lover only a few hours ago, but his thoughts now were not about Alex. He couldn't get his mind off the image of David's naked body, the sensous body he'd seen as David got out of the shower.
A few minutes later, Thad returned to the bedroom, a semi-relaxed condition between his legs. He walked back to the bed, hoping to continue sleeping through what was left of the early morning hours. He gently eased back down on the mattress, even though it was the kind which allowed no ripples or disturbance to anyone else who might be sharing it. Carefully he pulled the covers up to his neck once again. The silence in the room might have been peaceful had it only been broken by the sound of David's breathing, which in itself was arousing and sexually stimulating to Thad's unusual horniness. Under different circumstances, Thad would have flipped his bed partner onto his stomach and plowed his ass like a John Deere in rich, heavy soil ready for seeding.
Thirty minutes of this emotional stigmatic torture was all that Thad could endure. He quietly arose, dressed, left his apartment and drove to the nearest all-night Dunkin' Donuts for coffee and a cop's best tranquilizer. With David out of sight and mind,at least temporarily, Thad's thoughts returned to Alex. Thad mulled over what had been his and Alex's relationship, playing back as many episodes mentally as he could. How much had he actually loved the kid? Had Alex ever really loved him? Was Alex's addiction stronger than his feelings for Thad? Alex had promised to get 'clean' and stay that way, but he failed. Thad's guilt was mounting inside. Why the fuck hadn't he gotten more help for the boy? He quickly dismissed the idea of help because Thad had no faith in most rehab treatment centers anyway.
In the late 80's and early 90's, the government had supplied all kinds of financial aid and support for drug, alcohol, and substance abuse facilities...but that had been during the Clinton Administration. Now, under the current Washington regime, social service funding had been cut back to practically nothing. Hell, why take back the tax cuts from the zillionaires and give it to the population who needed assistance? The effectiveness of present day rehabilitation centers was a farce...understaffed, underfunded, it was almost useless. It was the same with Father Chris' current project. Why was Chris busting his ass to scrape every available nickel and dime together in order to supply low budget meals to AIDS and HIV victims or to the indigent or oppressed? Hell, they were cared for better forty years ago...before AIDS, back when LBJ controlled the federal budget!
When Thad finished his sixth Boston-creme doughnut and fourth cup of coffee, it was nearly 7:30 AM. It was time for him to go home, hopefully before David awoke and missed him. Thad was not skilled in the culinary art of making breakfast, so on his way home, he drove by the window at McD's and ordered a dozen sausage and egg burritos and four large coffees, two for each of them in case either he or David wanted a refill.
Thad hadn't had much sleep, but then, being a detective, he was used to it in spite of the attraction of his Simmons Beauty treasure. He had many things to do this morning and he was sure David had the same. Thad hated the idea of calling Alex's brother in Chattanooga. As many times in the past when Thad had to break the news of a death to a crime-victim's loved ones or family, he never ceased hating having to do it. It had never seemed to get any easier over the years--if anything, it seemed to grow harder.
With his trove of breakfast goodies, Thad drove to his apartment and quietly opened the door in order to hide his unexplained absence if David had awakened while he was gone. However, David, being used to early classes at the university thyat had conditioned him to be an early riser. He was already dressed and making the bed when Thad came in the door. When David saw Thad, he gave him a warm smile.
"Good morning," David said, as he finished tucking the top of the bedspread under the bottom tufts of the pillows.
"Well, good morning to you, too" Thad replied. David's smile sparked an unexplained feeling in the pit of Thad's stomach. Had David remembered rolling over and holding him during the night? "I didn't expect to find you awake. I...I went down the street to get something for breakfast and some coffee."
"That's great and very thoughtful of you."
"I see you made the bed..."
"I hope you don't mind...?"
"Hell, no, but that's the first time it's been fully made in...well, I can't remember the last time."
"It only took a sec..."
"I...I hope you like breakfast burritos..."
"They're my favorite! I stop and grab a couple at McD's every morning before my first class."
"Thank God I got something you liked!"
"Did you get any mustard?"
"No, but I have a jar in the fridge."
"I like 'em with lots of mustard."
"Come on into the kitchen and I'll get you some. The coffee is still nice and hot."
"Sounds great. Oh, I hope you don't mind my using some of your toothpaste. I promise I didn't use your toothbrush, but I did squirt some paste on my finger to hide 'morning breath'."
"For God's sake, you can use anything you want. I know you shaved before coming to bed, but if you want to use some of my Gillette Cool Wave under your arms..."
"I already did." David's self-concious grin eased any possible tension.
They exchanged casual smiles and David followed Thad into his tiny, but very messy kitchen.
"Sorry about the debris and the dirty dishes, but..."
"Think nothing of it! I know you weren't expecting an overnight guest."
"I never do..." Thad said, then almost tried to take the statement back, realizing that he had revealed a small secret he would just as soon had stayed hidden.
"Oh?"
"No...no one ever comes here to spend the night...or any short-term reason for that matter. Alex...did...but he was used to my living like a slob." Thad's voice choked a bit, speaking of Alex in the past tense for the first time.
"You...you two? I know I shouldn't ask, but when you two were together...you didn't live together?"
"You couldn't say that our relationship was habitational. He slept here occasionally but it was more of a recreational nature."
"You mean...?"
"Sex, yeah."
"Oh...okay."
The last two responses had been slightly embarrassing for both Thad AND David.
"Here, David, sit down and I'll get two plates, a couple of cups, AND your mustard."
David complied with relief as Thad joined him with the utensils and the condiment. He opened the McD's bag and poured the contents into a pile in the center of the table.
David laughed, "Either you're very hungry or you thought I might be...gee, how many did you buy?"
"Twelve, if I didn't get cheated."
"Looks like they're all there. I don't believe that McD's would cheat a detective."
"Eat as many as you like."
"Thanks, I will." David reached and got two burritos, unwrapped them and squirted two long streams of French's mustard on each side of the breakfast treats. He took a hearty bite out of the first. "Hmm...reminds me of home cooking!"
David laughed. "You don't cook in your dorm?"
"Not as long as I have money to buy fast food. My mom has a fit if she thinks I'm pushing up my cholesterol level, but she keeps sending me money for food just the same."
Thad, being a slick detective, thought he would pry into David's memory about his action in the bed.
"Did...did you sleep well?"
"God! Like a log. The first thing I'm gonna do when Jenny and I get married is buy a mattress exactly like yours. I've never slept so well."
"I'm glad you liked the mattress. The side you were sleeping on has seldom been used. I find that, once I lie down, I never so much as turn over. I wake in the same position I fell asleep in."
"I'm the same way. I don't toss and turn either..." David said, but noting a small strange look in Thad's eyes. "Or do I? Did I turn over and keep you awake?"
"Oh, no, no! You stayed put on your side all night long."
David's answer had squashed any hope that David's hugging him in his sleep had any nefarious intention. In a way, Thad was relieved...and yet, in a smaller way, he found himself disappointed.
"Thad, would it be too much trouble if I asked you to take me to Steve's after breakfast? I...I would like to change clothes. Oh, by the way, I rinsed out the t-shirt and shorts you loaned me and put them on the shower rod to dry."
"Hey, that wasn't necessary."
"Maybe not, but I did feel somewhat indebted for your generosity."
"You could have kept them..."
"Perhaps, I should have...just to keep something to remember you by..."
His back was turned, thank God, for Thad's eyes popped wide open! 'What did David mean by that?' He turned and said "Listen, I don't know your plans...I doubt if you know what you're gonna do just yet...but if you like, you can get your clothes or whatever and spend tonight here if you like. I mean, it's cheaper than a hotel...and you already know you can sleep well on my mattress...and...and, well, I didn't molest you, did I?"
"No, Thad, I was never worried about that. I told you several times last night that I trust you. I do...and, well, if I DO decide to spend a few days in Atlanta, I would love being your guest."
"It would mean a lot to me, too. I...I have to call Alex's brother some time this morning and break the news to him. I don't know if he'll want to come down to make arrangements or if he'll leave them to me. I wouldn't mind it if that what he wants. It's...it's the last thing I can do for Alex."
"Chris said something about a friend or one of his parishioners who does cremation for a nominal fee...?"
"Is that what you've decided to do for Mark?"
"I think so. I...I won't have to leave him here. I can always take him back to Virginia and have a service there...if and when I tell our folks."
"I hope that's what Alex's brother agrees to do with Alex. God knows, I hate fucking funerals. Such a waste of money. I think everyone is catching on to that idea. They advertise on TV in Virginia that funerals cost around six-thousand dollars...and that's for a cheap one. I used to hope that if I got killed working a case, the felon would blow up my car or set it on fire while my body is still inside. NO FANCY FUNERAL FOR ME!" Thad cleared his throat. "I was six years old when my mother died and my dad had her buried in a copper casket with a glass cover which was hermetically sealed...like the one he'd seen President Roosevelt buried in. It cost him over ten-thousand dollars, PLUS a solid steel vault to keep her body dry. Shit! Years later, when I was trying to make ends meet on a rookie cop's salary, he died suddenly. I had him buried in a pine box. I'm not sure, but I think they closed it with nails. Even then, I couldn't really afford that."
"You have no brothers or sisters?"
"Nope...just me. After Dad died, I was all alone...been that way ever since."
"No...no women--ever in your life?"
"No, I knew I was gay all my life."
"No...steady relationships?"
"Like a live-in lover?"
"Yeah."
"The closest I ever came to it was Alex...and I've already told you how that was."
"Do you mind my asking a personal question?"
"Probably not..."
"Do...do you ever get lonely?"
"Not really. I've always been alone. Look around! That's why I live like a slob!"
"Have...have you ever been in love?"
"That IS a tough one! Let's say, I...I've...LOVED, but I've never been IN love. Jesus! I loved Alex more than anyone in my life...but I can't honestly say I was in love with him."
"Do you...do you think you EVER will be?"
"In love?"
"Uh huh..."
"It would be nice. I mean it would be nice to have someone to come home to. Someone who would keep a tidy house, cook a hot meal, and give me lots of sex in the bedroom every night."
"But you've never found that 'someone'?"
"That 'someone' doesn't exist in my world. The only people I meet are crooks, thugs, addicts, dealers, vagrants...The only other people I see are my co-workers and I somehow don't think a relationship would last between two cops in the same police department. We'd be laughed out of the precinct or harassed to the point I'd have to shoot some of my fellow officers."
"Thad, if you COULD meet someone...what would you like him to be?"
"First of all...NOT a cop! I'd want someone who's educated, with a college degree, ya know?" Thad's eyes grew dark as he, for the first time, voiced a quiet dream. "I'd want him to be someone who cared about me...someone I could trust and someone who would trust me. I wouldn't object, of course, if he was good-looking and had a great body...speaking of which, I hope you won't mind my saying, but I couldn't help but notice your body in the bathroom last night. You are a perfect specimen of what I would like, physically, IF I ever found that 'someone'."
"My body?" David asked, as he stopped eating his burrito.
"Sure. Haven't you ever taken a good look at yourself? I seemed to have asked last night if your Jenny had ever noticed how virile you are..."
"You mean...I could 'turn you on'?"
"Are you trying to get me to confess that you did?"
"I did?"
"Like chocolate to a diabetic!"
"You were tempted to...? When I was naked?"
"Shit! You want the truth? I had to jerk off a half-dozen times before I could get into bed with you."
"My God! I had no idea...I mean, you gave me no indication that.."
"Dave, all you had to do was look down at my crotch. It was about to burst through the zipper in my fly."
"I...I'm sorry I caused you so much discomfort. If I had known..."
"What? You'd have said...'here's my cock...go to it!'?"
"No...no, I wouldn't have spent the night. I mean, I KNEW you wouldn't force me to do anything I didn't want...but..."
"But what?"
"I...I guess it's best that I think better about your offer to stay here tonight..."
"NO! I want you to stay...and I want you to feel safe. Hell, I'll even sleep on the couch if you'll stay."
"I'm afraid I'd feel too guilty, Thad."
"Jesus Christ! I'm not putting you on trial. It's not like you're guilty of ANYTHING! Do you think I'm gonna pronounce sentence on you and execute you or something?"
"It's not like that! I'd just feel guilty about disrupting your sleep and, well, not being able to give you what you want."
"David, why the fuck did you have to bring all this up? I WANT you to stay as many nights as you like and I want you to know I'll never try anything with you. I won't make ANY advances whatsoever!"
"Let me think about it today, Thad, and I'll decide later. Who knows, maybe you'll change YOUR mind by then. Let's leave it at that...?"
"Fine, now let's eat up and I'll run you over to Steve's. However you might not be as safe with him as you are with me...the old queen!"
David laughed in sheer relief. After a moment, Thad joined him, replaying what he had just said in his mind.
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Preparing breakfast in the kitchen at St. Thaddeus began very early for Chris and his three assistants, Andy Thompson, Tommy Hughes, and Jeff Lawrence who helped prepare the first and last meals of the day. Lunch was readied and delivered by three other young Buddy-Buggy constituents---Sammy Whitfield, Martin Balfour, and Rich Crenshaw.
The morning menus alternated between sweet rolls and coffee and scrambled eggs, fake sausage and-or bacon, with canned biscuits, jelly packs, and coffee. The sweet rolls and doughnuts were supplied as day-old baked goods from Dunkin' Donuts or Krispy Kreme. The coffee came out of the donated fund or sometimes out of Chris' own pocket. There were over one-hundred stops to make on the daily routes...not everyone got three meals-per-day...some two, while others, just one, depending on how much nourishment the recipient needed.
Often, Chris laughed to himself while looking at his helpers when he thought perhaps he and his three guys resembled Santa Claus and three elves. Andy lived with his parents but Tommy and Jeff had become more than just friends and shared a tiny garage apartment together behind Jeff's parents' house west of Buckhead, living as lovers. Their parents, being active Catholics at St. Thaddeus, objected at first, but finally gave in when it was apparent that it was impossible to keep the two apart. Jeff's mother relented in her feelings about her son's relationship with Tommy and had even furnished and decorated the apartment, as Tommy had no living parents and the Lawrences had all but adopted Tommy, just not legally, and Tommy soon became a substitute for their older son, Mike, who drowned several years before in a boating accident on Lake Chickamauga in Chattanooga. Tommy and Jeff may have been brothers in the eyes of Jeff's parents, but the two boys were committed to be life partners.
Andy was also gay, but had yet to come out to his parents. Before Chris took them on as his assistants, he required all three...well, all six, including the lunch crew, to get blood tests at the county health department and a certificate allowing them to handle food. There was another reason behind Chris' caution, he wanted to make certain that none of his volunteer staff carried the HIV virus or any other kind of STD. Hep C had become so widespread in the Atlanta area, it could easily go undetected and there was no reason for taking the risk of spreading it to his needy clients, especially if they were already sick with a virus or ailment.
Andy loved being with Tommy and Jeff, but it was almost impossible for him not to be jealous or envious as he longed to have his independence and a lover of his own. Tommy and Jeff didn't mind Andy accompanying them on a date to the movies or an occasional visit to the 'Vane'. However at the end of each evening, the two lovers went home to have sex or make love and Andy went home to his stack of young men's magazines and his hidden DVD's which he had bought in the bargain bin at TLAVideo.com.
Chris allowed his boys to camp it up or make gay jokes when the four of them were alone. He was very careful about his 'fatherly' attitude toward them as he did not want a scandal to appear on the front page of the Atlanta Constitution, 'Gay Priest Accused of Molesting Young Mission Food Servers'. That would be the end of the meals program and its monetary support from the community and members of his parish. Chris would only 'act' gay with them when no one else was around. As for Sammy, Martin, and Rich, Chris wasn't around them as often and really didn't know if all or any of them were gay.
The three of them were supervised and transported in the church van by Chris' boss, Father Dinsmore, a kindly priest in his late 50's, sporting a full head of premature snow white hair. Chris hid his homosexuality from Father Dinsmore, although, Father 'D' was probably aware of Chris' gay feelings or tendencies, but Chris never discussed his sexual preference to the older priest, not even in confession, primarily because Chris led a chaste life and had nothing to confess.
Chris assumed that in Father D's earlier years, he was or could have been quite a ladies' man since he spent so much time at the Sister of Mercy's hospital and residence. Father D. loved being around women...even nuns. Chris thought it strange that, if a priest broke a vow and had a clandestine affair or exhibited a penchant toward members of the opposite sex, the public and even parishioners would often turn their heads, hiding smiles at his fall from grace. But let a priest give anyone the notion that he was interested in men or legal-age boys, and that was cause for excommunication, or being sent to jail or prison.
Chris was sometimes glad that Andy, Tommy, and Jeff got to observe the illness that could manifest from unsafe gay sex...a kind of first-hand education that better impressed on the mind than any learning in a book or classroom. All three had had their eighteenth birthdays and all were seniors, attending the same high school. The early Buggy Buddies shift had to be completed by 7:30AM in time for the three guys to be at school by 8:30AM. They would return to the mission kitchen at 4:00PM to begin the evening-meal trek.
This morning, Chris had a heavy heart having seen Alex in the ER the night before and, then just yesterday morning, losing Mark, one of his dearest young friends. He had prayed for them before retiring and afterwards, lying in bed meditating, he became perplexed that for some reason he had found himself attracted to Mark's older and straight brother. Chris hadn't experienced this feeling in a long, long while and found that it disturbed him. He even contemplated a quick masturbation to see if it was ease his unexplained quandary, but he fought the idea off and found himself tossing, turning, and practically losing a whole night's sleep.
As he drove back to his quarters at St. Thaddeus the night before, he had been slightly worried about leaving David to spend the night with Thad. 'Surely, Thad wouldn't 'try' any indiscretion with David and surely David would refuse any advance Thad might might make toward him.' Yet...stranger things had happened, as Chris had learned from hundreds of confessions he'd heard. Many straight men became 'bi-curious' with no warning or expectation. Lord knows, Chris had been attracted to David, so why should Thad be any different? Chris said a couple of short prayers, hoping that David would not be tempted or yield to Thad's sexual appetite if it showed it's ugly head...but then, why should that matter to Chris? 'Jesus! What a dilemma!' Chris thought to himself.
When the breakfast delivery was finished, Chris dropped Andy, Tommy, and Jeff at their school and then returned to his living quarters at St. Thaddeus to shave, shower, tend to his personal hygienic ablutions in time to serve the daily 9:00AM mass. After that, he changed out of his vestments and put on his casual black pants, black shirt with a sewn-on clerical collar and black jacket to go to pick up David at Thad's. He decided to call Thad's first to get an intuitive sense if anything out of the ordinary had happened between David and Thad. Thad answered to say he had taken David to Steve's earlier and Chris decided it was best not to pursue his suspicions...and off he went to Steve's to meet David by noon.
Chris was not the only one with a suspicious mind. When Steve responded to David's knock on his door, he opened it, only to see Thad's car driving away. Steve let David inside while giving him a leery once-over.
"Don't tell me you got arrested?" Steve sneered, jokingly.
"Pardon?"
"After you didn't show up or didn't call last night, I assumed you got religion and converted to Catholicism with an all-nighter from the Food Father."
"No...it was a full evening, though. Chris took me to the Very Close Vane..."
"Good Lord! He DID convert you! Are you gay now?"
David laughed. "Sorry !! No such luck! But the evening was quite eventful. I saw my first female-impersonator show..."
"It's called a drag show..."
"Whatever...and we met Thad, the detective, outside the restaurant after dinner."
"Whoops! Things are getting juicier...Pray continue !"
"Steve, it's not what you think. Thad had asked Chris to drop by the bar and check on Thad's friend, Alex."
"You mean Rudolph, the white-powdered nosed drain dear?"
"Steve, Alex overdosed last night...he's dead." David said, straight and seriously.
"Oh my God! Jesus! How did you find out? I mean, what happened?"
"Some friends of Alex's told the bartender that Alex had been rushed to the county hospital. Chris and I made a mad dash to the ER and saw Thad coming out of the door. He was all shook up as he had just found out about Alex."
"That fuckin' little princess! God, I hate it and I hate him for 'OD'ing."
"Thad took the news very badly, and while Chris went inside the hospital to do whatever priests do when someone dies, Thad and I began to talk about Mark and Alex. By the time Chris came back out, Thad and I decided to go for a drink and lend each other some support. Chris had to be up real early for his breakfast patrol, so I went to Thad's apartment where we drank and talked until it was almost too late for him to bring me back here. So Thad was nice enough to let me spend the night at his place."
"I hate being nosey, but I was born that way. Does Thad have a spare bedroom?"
"No, just one..."
"He DOES have two beds, doesn't he?"
"Just one...a rather large one...a queen size..."
"Figures...!"
"What?"
"Please don't tell me you slept in the same bed with that hunky Sipowitz!"
"If you mean, did I sleep with Thad? Well, yes..."
"My God in heaven! Did you stop by the clinic on the way here to get tested?"
"Tested? For what?"
"Clap! Syphilis! Venereal warts! HIV! Pregnancy! That's it's what's for!"
"Steve, calm down! Nothing happened. I'm straight...Thad knew it, too, and he respected my being hetero."
"Jesus! David! Couldn't you have at least lied a little to give me something to fantasize about?"
"Sorry...we went to bed. I awoke and he had gone to McD's to buy us breakfast, then he brought me back here."
"Dear Lord! Before I got sick...I mean when I was disease-free, I would've given up my appointment in hell's beauty parlor to have spent one night with Thad. God! I can still get hard just thinking about him...those smooth black pelts of hair peering above the neck of his undershirt...and YOU! You meet him one night and a few hours later, you're in his bed for the whole night...and not a goddamned thing happened?"
"Sorry..."
"You hetero's don't need to live in this world! You don't know how to enjoy it!" Steve retorted while making David grin. "Please lie if you have to...but did you see Thad naked? I mean...ALL of him?"
"If it will feed your fantasies...then, yes...yes, I did see him without clothes."
"You just made my heart flutter! Tell me quick! Was it big? LIE, if you must!"
"Was what big? You mean his...his..."
"His COCK! Was it a foot long...or maybe two feet, even?"
David realized that only the truth would hurt, so he might as well lie and give Steve a thrill. No doubt, Steve must have very few things to thrill or excite him in his present physical condition. So David played along..."Do you mean when he's got an erection or before, when he's peeing?"
"Oh, God, NO! Don't tell me you watched him pee...?"
"He...he peed, right before he dried my back after I got out of the shower!"
"Oh, God! I MUST sit down! HE dried YOU off?"
"Sure...my back was wet and he brought me a towel and proceeded to dry me off."
"You were naked...in front of him?"
"I sure as heck didn't shower with my clothes on."
"Did he...did he touch you?"
"Steve, how else could he dry me without touching me?"
"And then...?"
"And then he handed me a t-shirt and a pair of his shorts for me to put on...you know...to sleep in..."
"I may die this minute!"
"Calm down! Do you need one of your pills?"
"Only Viagra...but I don't even need that now."
"All right...if you're sure..."
"THEN, what happened?"
"I waited for Thad to take a shower and when he was finished, he walked back into his bedroom to rejoin me...aand that's when I saw him naked." David was building his story like a dime novel.
"Did you dry him off?"
"No, he was fully dry when he came into the bedroom."
"Oh, my Lord!"
"Then Thad turned out the lights and got into bed with me."
"David, don't you dare lie to me now...what happened next?"
"Well, I was lying on my back, staring at the black ceiling and Thad turned over to face me..."
"AND?"
Just as David started to reply, Chris knocked on Steve's door.
"Holy shit!" Steve cried out, then yelled at the door..."WHOEVER IT IS AND WHATEVER YOU'RE SELLING, WE DON'T WANT ANY...NOT TODAY! NOT TOMORROW! NEVER! SO GO AWAY!!!"
"Steve?" Chris called through the shut door. "Steve, are you all right?"
"Good heavens! It's Jesus!" Steve exclaimed. "He must be here to take me to God's Gay Bar!...'The Pink Feathered Cloud'. David, for God's sake, don't forget where you stopped your story...I've got to hear every word of every detail for my second 'cumming'!" Adjusting himself rather obviously, he ran to the door and opened it, "Hello, Father Chris. Did you come by to give me extreme unction?"
"Only if you feel it's necessary," Chris replied. Then he saw David and immediately got that same sinking feeling again in the pit of his stomach. "Hello, David."
"Hi, Chris."
"I...I phoned Thad's before coming over."
"Yes, he brought me here a few minutes ago."
"That's what he told me," David paused to find the correct words to say next, "Did...did you and Thad have a productive evening? I mean, did you have a nice heart-to-heart supportive conversation?"
"Boy! I'll say...oops!" Steve spoke before thinking, causing David to blush.
Chris looked at Steve then back at David cautiously. His curiosity was at its peak. What did Steve mean and what in heaven's name had happened between David and Thad during the sleepover? Chris wondered, but thought it best if he focused on the real reason for his visit.
"Well, then..." Chris began, "I...I hate interrupting with matters at hand, but, David, do you have a proposed agenda for today?"
"Sorta 'semi'..." David responded.
"Well, I'm all yours, so to speak until mid-afternoon when I have to go back to the kitchen to start my evening chores...say, around 3:30, if that'll be time enough to help you?"
"Oh, I'm sure that will be plenty of time. I...I only have a couple or three stops to make, and with your help, I'm sure we can get everything accomplished," David replied.
"Should we take your luggage with us or have you thought it through as to where you'll be spending the night? You did mention yesterday the possibility of checking into a hotel nearer downtown Atlanta...?"
"I haven't decided just yet, but I WILL take my bag. just in case."
"Then there's nothing I can do to lure you into spending tonight with me?" Steve asked in a pseudo-sexy voice. "I mean, there are just loads of things I would like to ask you...about Mark, of course..."
"I appreciate your offer, Steve, and I just might take you up on it, but until I get a few things settled with Chris' friend at the mortuary..." David said, but turned to Chris, "We CAN visit him, can't we?"
"I'd planned on it," Chris replied, "as a matter of fact, I took the liberty of calling him this morning to make sure we could see him this afternoon..."
"That's fine, Chris. Thank you very much. That would take a huge load off me once I get that much settled...then we can go to the morgue and I'll give them my instructions."
"All right then."
"David, this is not the last time I'm gonna see you, is it?" Steve asked, showing a bit of disappointment in his voice.
"No, no, Steve, I wouldn't dare leave without letting you know my plans... PLUS I might need a place to stay...if your offer is still on the table?"
"I wouldn't care if you stayed a month here. I would love having your company and listening to more of your...your...listening to anything you want to tell me. I seem to recall you were in the middle of a story just before Father knocked on the door."
"Steve, if I don't come by later...I'll make sure you hear the end of my...my first night's visit in Atlanta."
"Can't wait...!" Steve replied, surreptitiously.
"If you two will excuse me, I'll go gather my gear," David announced, leaving Steve and Chris alone in the living room.
When David was gone, Chris looked at Steve and asked, "Can I ask what you two were talking about before I came in?"
"Oh, nothing much...just that I was inquiring about the details of David spending the night with Thad."
Once again, Chris' heart sank, "You...you don't think anything inappropriate happened between them? I mean, David didn't say anything...?"
"Father, your idea of 'inappropriate' and mine are on opposite ends of the 'dating' meter."
"You don't think that they...?"
"I'm not sure, but I would've found out if you'd had a flat tire or hit a telephone-pole before you rushed over here."
"Oh, my Lord, I DO hope nothing happened. I'm sure you know Thad's reputation..."
"Pardon my being blunt, but do you mean, fuck 'em and leave 'em?"
"I wouldn't phrase it QUITE that way...but..."
"Father! Do I detect a tinge of sacramental jealousy? Is the 'holy Father' guilty of impure thoughts concerning the brother of his dearly departed friend?"
"Steve, that's ridiculous. You know my vocation forbids me to even have thoughts about that to which you're referring."
"You're still a human being...and a man, Father. I can't speak, 'first-hand', but I'm sure priests awaken with morning wood the same as all members of the male species."
"Steve, if you knew anything about the priesthood, you'd know that we are trained to resist human desires."
"Whoo boy! You should tell that to all those former altar boys suing the church for millions of dollars...or maybe it was the altar boys with the morning wood during morning prayer. I suppose if a priest has a wet dream, his semen is more in the form of sawdust!"
"You are absolutely incorrigible, Steve Barrows!", Chris laughed.
"Does that mean the boogey man is gonna get me?" Steve joked.
"Probably! I'm sure your sexual history is known world-wide...and into the next world. The 'boogey man' is more than likely waiting to see you to have wild sex!"
"When you were at seminary, did any of your instructors ever tell you how long the boogey man's...?"
"Oh, dear Lord, Steve, you're totally impossible."
"You mean you never saw any pictures?
Chris wanted to laugh out loud in his frustration, but fortunately he was spared answering Steve's question as David reentered the room, carrying his bag.
"All ready!" David announced.
"And not one moment too soon," Chris replied. "Steve and I were getting into a deep discussion about theology and I really don't have time to answer all his long, well-thought-out questions."
"Father, we WILL resume this discussion later, won't we?" Steve asked, a smirk was on his face.
"Oh, I'm sure we will some day, but not today."
David turned to Steve, "I...I want to thank you for your hospitality and everything you did for Mark. I hope we get to talk more later."
"Me, too! There's so much I want to know...from BOTH of you!" Steve retorted, looking at David and Chris. Then David gave Steve a big hug, picked up his bag and went out the door with Chris.
It was just barely after noon and the sun was beaming brightly on the streets of Atlanta. Yesterday and last night, David's thoughts had been colored by sorrow and he really hadn't noticed the metropolis of Atlanta.
"Man, this city is big!" David said as Chris drove down one of the numerous Peachtree streets.
"It doesn't seem to stop growing," Chris replied. "One day, in a decade or two, the Atlanta city limits will reach as far north as Tennessee and as far south as Florida."
"Looks like it already might. You could put one hundred River Oaks, Virginia's, in Atlanta. I don't think I could ever get used to any city this big."
"Oh, you soon learn to habitate in your own small community, then the whole sprawl of Atlanta doesn't seem quite so overwhelming."
"Chris? Is there a drug store or convenience store on the way to the mortuary?"
"Several. Would you like me to stop?"
"Yes. I'm afraid I packed in a hurry before I left and I need a couple of toiletries...primarily some mouthwash."
"Have you tried those new Listerine breath strips? They're wonderful and so much quicker to use than breath mints. I keep a packet in my pocket just before mass. I don't have to suck on a Tic-Tac for fifteen minutes before serving mass."
"Yeah, they're great!"
Their conversation was light, but Chris' curiosity about what happened at Thad's house last night was still uppermost in his mind and yet he didn't want to make a deliberate show of prying.
"David, how was Thad this morning? I mean, did the two of you have a productive chat last night?"
"The night began on a low note...each of us grieving over our personal losses. Then, after an hour or so, our conversation became more...how shall I put it...informative?"
"Informative...?"
"That was a bad choice of words. Thad and I began to open up on various subjects and we got to know one another a bit better."
"Oh?"
"Nothing earth-shattering, just that I found out that the Atlanta detective from New Jersey is not as rough and tough as he might appear to some that he arrests. He's really got a soft heart beneath that brazen façade he likes to exhibit. He's even got a romantic nature, but he's too afraid to show it."
"Romantic?"
"Oh, not with me, of course, but deep inside, Thad wants to fall in love, if and when the right guy comes along. After listening to the way he felt about Alex...Alex was not the one for Thad."
"I always assumed as much..." Chris replied. "Hey! Over there, on the right, there's Bledsoe Pharmacy, you can get whatever you need there in the way of toiletries. They have a huge selection."
"Thanks, that'll be fine." Chris pulled his car into the Bledsoe parking lot and David got out of the car. "You coming in?"
"No, you go ahead and I'll keep the air-conditioning running in the car."
"I won't be long."
David entered the large pharmacy and picked up a shopping basket from the stack at the front door. Then he began to wander through the aisles while putting many items in the basket which he really didn't need. No one ever seems to buy just the one item he goes to shop for, as was the case with David. Finally he reached the toothpaste/mouthwash section and saw the breath strips on the second row from the bottom. There was a young man standing with his back to David and he was practically blocking the shelf to which David was trying to reach. The young man had a large glass bottle of mouthwash and as he turned around, he stumbled into David and almost fell over him. David looked up and the young man had a stunned look on his face...then it turned nearly white as he looked at David and he dropped the large glass bottle which shattered and sent glass and the minty liquid all over the floor and David's trousers.
The young man gasped, "Oh my God!...MARK?!!!" The young man was frozen and couldn't move, as if he had seen a ghost. David first looked down to see the damage the mouthwash had done to his pants and suddenly it dawned on him that the young man had mistaken him for his dead brother. He must have been a friend of Mark's.
"I am SO sorry," the young man said, dropping to his knees to begin picking up pieces of glass and wiping David's pants leg with his bare hand. The young man didn't seem to notice that he had cut his hand on the broken glass and blood was covering his palm.
"You seemed to have hurt yourself," David said, calmly. "Here, take my handkerchief and put some pressure against your hand!" David said, reaching in his right hip pocket to retrieve a folded handkerchief.
"I am so embarrassed," the young man said, "but you see, you look exactly like a friend of mine...a very sick friend...who...who..." By this time the young man was ready to break into tears.
"I heard you call me 'Mark'...Mark Stanley? Is that the name of your friend?"
"Well...yes!"
"I'm David, David Stanley, Mark's older brother. You know, of course, that Mark is..."
"Yes, I heard yesterday that he had died."
"And you are?"
"Randy, Randy Carpenter..."
When David heard the name, he felt a slight chill of irony go through his body. This was Randy...THE Randy...Mark's lover that Steve talked about.
"Nice to meet you, Randy...I...I spent some time yesterday at Mark's house with Steve, whom I'm sure you know...he mentioned your name."
"Then you know that Mark and I were...?"
"Steve said you and Mark were very close."
With the introductions out of the way, David began eyeing his brother's former boyfriend. This was the guy Mark fell in love with and David wanted to observe what there was about this young man that had attracted his brother. David took a good look at Randy's face...it was almost as beautiful as any woman's, but Randy's appearance was in no way effeminate. Randy had dark skin with dark brown hair, almost black, with a couple of curly tresses which came down over Randy's forehead. Randy's eyes were dark with long velvety lashes, a perfectly shaped nose, and lips so naturally red, one would almost believe they were enhanced by lipstick...but there was no sign of makeup on Randy's face. Everything about his face was natural...and perfect. Randy was approximately six feet tall, about the same height as David and Mark, and he had an average build, not too muscular but in no way thin. Randy looked like a model for Gap Clothing and, strangely enough, David was glad that Randy had good looks and appeared to be the perfect specimen of a handsome young male. This was the kind of guy Mark would have been attracted to...only what did Steve say? 'Randy disappeared and never came to see Mark once he learned that Mark had taken ill'. 'At least there was ONE flaw', David thought. 'Randy might look like a model but he must be a shit to run out on his brother when he needed him most'.
Just then, the drug store manager came toward the aisle to find out about the 'crash' and to see to the clean-up.
"Sir, are you hurt?" The manager asked Randy.
"Just a cut..." Randy replied.
"Let me go get some antiseptic and a bandage and we'll have the pharmacist take a look at it."
"Please don't go to any trouble...I'll be fine."
"Nonsense, let us take care of you. We want to make sure you're alright. We don't need a lawsuit over a broken-bottle cut."
"I am really sorry about that and I WILL pay for the mouthwash," Randy said, apologetically.
"Hold on! I'll be right back!" The manager said, scurrying away to get his first-aid treatment for Randy.
"God! This is so embarrassing." Randy said to David.
"Let him do his job," David said, with a slight smile. "This is probably the most exciting thing that's happened to him all week...so don't spoil it for him."
"David...how long are you going to be in town? I assume you came down here from Virginia."
"A day or two..."
"Is there...I mean, are you going to have a funeral service for Mark in Atlanta?"
"Funeral? No? I think Father Chris might be planning some kind of memorial mass for Mark for...for his close friends."
"The way you paused...I guess I'm not invited...?"
"Why would you say that, Randy?"
"I'm sure Steve must've told you that I walked out on Mark..."
"He...he did say something along that line..."
"Jesus! For such a long time, I'm wanted to talk to someone about what happened and why I...but there was never anyone who wanted to speak to me. No one ever heard my side of the story...about what Mark and I decided..."
"If I listen, would you tell me?"
"Of course...but not here, standing in the middle of a drug store aisle, bleeding like a pussy in heat."
"Is there somewhere we could meet and talk later this afternoon or this evening?"
"Are you staying at a hotel?"
"Not yet...right now, I'm not sure where I'll be spending the night."
"Listen, do me a favor...reach in my left back pocket and pull out my wallet and get one of my cards. It has my home phone number, my cell, and my beeper. Give me a call around five and wherever you are, I'll come pick you up and we can go out for a drink or have dinner or something."
David's first inclination was to say 'no', but getting to know Mark's ex-lover would answer a lot of questions that David was quite curious about. So, he reached for the wallet, extracted a card, and promised to call Randy later. Their conversation ended when the pharmacist and manager came running to attend to Randy's injury. Behind them was a stock boy carrying a broom, a mop, and a dust pan. David left the 'crowded' aisle and went back up front to pay for his items. Before he left the store, David paused to turn to get one more look at Randy. Never in his life, he realized, had he thought a man was beautiful, but Randy was the exception. David could see what Mark saw in Randy, physically at least. Then it dawned on David that he, too, found himself mysteriously attracted to Randy.
When David returned to Chris' car, he related the entire 'Randy episode' to Chris and Chris showed no emotion, even though he was feeling a bit dismayed at dropping down another rung in the list of people vying for David's attention.
"So you won't be spending the night with Thad? Does that mean you want me to take you to a hotel?" Chris asked, being a nonchalant as possible.
"I haven't decided. I WOULD like to see Thad once more, just in case he's feeling some remorse about Alex."
"Do you think Randy knows you're straight?"
"I don't think it would matter, I mean, it's not as if we were going on a date...just a friendly conversation about someone we had in common...someone we both loved."
"It's none of my business and as a priest I shouldn't be saying this, but don't be too beguiled by Randy's charm the way Mark was."
"Chris, if I didn't know better, I could almost believe you're jealous."
"David, you know that's ridiculous!"
"I know, but I was trying to make a joke anyway."
Chris stopped his car in front of the mortuary and said, "We're here. Now let me do all the talking and don't offer to pay for anything you don't want."
"Thanks" David replied while giving a second thought to the remark he made about Chris...'WAS Chris jealous? Did Chris have more than a friendly 'spiritual' interest in him?' David laughed to himself, thinking, 'Too bad I'm not gay. I've got men standing in line for me! Mark must be somewhere looking down laughing hysterically!' Then his amusement dimmed at the renewed sense of his loss.
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(To be continued in Chapter Five of "As I Remember Him."