Disclaimer: The following is entirely a work of fiction. All characters featured in this story are fictional and are not intended to resemble real persons, hence; it is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of any celebrity might mentioned. The views and opinions mentioned in the text may not represent those of the author. Certain facts stated in this story as true, may have been altered or added for entertainment purposes and may not be real.
Some elements included in this fiction may not be suitable for all people, if you're uncertain - please, do not continue.
Please turn to the author's Letter of Recognition for more info. Available at the 'Backstreets' website.
Website: http://www.geocities.com/writer_nike
Author's notes:
It's time to post the second part of season 1. And I assume you all are dying to find out whether it all really will be better tomorrow!
It's kinda hard writing these notes. To come up with things to say. Or, in my case, to choose between the stuff I wanna say. What springs to mind is that I definitely wanna say hi' to two people I've come in contact with thanks to these postings. Hi' Monika and `Hi' Rob! Monika, you make me blush!! :-) And Rob; being bored in Florida... Sheesh. ;-)
As always, you're very welcome to e-mail me your thoughts of the posting. I wouldn't mind recieving more than a couple of mails about R&I this time! It's really not a problem if you wanna send me a mail, I don't mind! :-) Luckily though, Into the Millennium proved to be more popular. So I'm kinda pleased for now! :-)
A major update has been made on the website. You're all welcome to visit Writer_Nike's site! http://www.geocities.com/writer_nike/
Other than that, thank you for taking the time to read Revelations and Insights!
/Nike writer_nike@myplace.com
Backstreets - season 1: Revelations and Insights
Written by: Nike
"Who can deny the joy it brings, when you have found that special
thing - you're flying without wings." - Westlife
Part 2 - It'll all be better tomorrow _________
"AAARGHH!". Nick cried out into nowhere when he suddenly woke up. His heart was racing wildly when he sat up in the bed, 'Ohmygod....' he sighed heavily, 'it was just a night mare...'.
The actions of the dream echoed vividly in his brain. Sweat was covering his body when he sat up in the bed. Only darkness surrounded him.
Nick moaned when he slowly got out of bed. 'Fuck, it's warm in here!'. Nick moved over to the windows and cracked one of them open. The cool breeze of the night swept in, chilling his body when it made its path through the room.
There was a stark contrast between inside of the room and the outside. In the inside it was warm, dark and lifeless, while the outside sported the various sounds and lights of a city that never sleeps. So full of life in its appearance.
Cars constantly driving by, the honking of horns, people laughing and the noises from the nearby casinos and bars where people partied without a care in the world.
And here he was, as far away as possible from the care free world outside. Yet he was so close.
Nick stood by the window for a couple of minutes, not thinking of anything in particular. Merely watching, contemplating. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a cold wind hit him and brutally brought Nick back to reality. He shivered of cold when he closed the window and slid the curtains shut, sealing off the outside and returned to bed.
His last conscious thought is the wish of Brian being there to keep him warm and safe.
The sun had found its way through an opening in the curtains. A beam hit Nick straight in the face, waking him. 'Oh man, what time is it?'.
Nick scanned the room through eyes clouded by sleep, in search of a watch.
'10.15'. Nick slumped back onto the bed, the flight should arrive at Munich International 12.45 PM, it shouldn't take too long to get there from the hotel, 'that is, if the fans aren't still out there'. he thought.
After a while, Nick slowly got himself out of bed. With the sleep still clouding his mind he stretched his body standing by the bedside.
Then it suddenly struck him, Brian would be coming! Immediately all of the sleepiness was gone and Nick was wide awake and alert, ready to take on the world.
He picked up the phone and swiftly dialed 900.
"Hello?"
"Jim, hi, it's Nick. How are you doin'? Listen, when do we need to leave for the airport?" He rushed the words in pure excitement, almost tripping over them as he spoke.
Jim, his bodyguard, who was accustomed to Nicks tendency to be overly enthusiastic, took it all with calm.
"Well, the ride over to the airport takes about twenty minutes, so we should be leaving somewhere about 12." he answered.
"Oh?" The disappointment in Nick's voice was obvious.
"Or, we could go earlier, just to be on the safe side?" Jim continued as he heard Nicks voice. "How 'bout 11.40?"
"Great! See ya in the lobby, I won't be late!" Nick said and hung up.
Jim didn't have a doubt in his mind that Nick indeed would be down there on time, he was fairly certain of why Nick was so anxious to get to the airport.
When you're a bodyguard, you learn to notice things others don't, and you have to pay attention to things others do not. As a result, you get pretty good at interpreting body language and general behaviours. Jim had seen a lot, but he had never said a thing to anyone and he never would.
Nicks secret was safe with him.
Before getting into the shower, Nick ordered up breakfast from room service. As soon as he put the phone back in place, he went to the bathroom.
Nick turned on the shower and dropped his Calvin Klein boxers on the floor. He stood there naked, waiting for the shower water to get warm enough, before he got in. Satisified with the temperature, he entered and closed the shower stall doors behind him.
Nick stood in the middle of the bathroom, drying himself, when the door bell rang. Figuring it's Jim, Nick grabbed a towel. Unfortunately, a little too small towel. He had to keep it in place by holding it with one of his hands. Wearing nothing but the small towel, Nick headed for the door. The water dropping from his body.
The female clerk, who had brought up the breakfast tray from room service, had stood there gasping for air when Nick opened the door. He was completely naked, except for the small towel, the water glistening on his well defined body when the light reflected in them.
"I.. I've... Your, eh, breakfast... sir." was all she managed to studder out.
Nick looked strangely upon her, 'What's the matter with her? ...Great, another star-struck clerk.' Nick thought. It could get so tiresome at times.
Then he noticed that she wasn't looking at his face, she couldn't keep her eyes of his body. Now that was strange. Normally people would be going on about how much they loved what he did, how they respected him and such. But not her, she just kept staring at his body.
Suddenly it dawned upon him, he didn't wear anything! He instanly began to blush like a little school boy. Nick's very self-conscius about his body and would never have opened the door like this if he'd known it wasn't Jim.
The possibility of it could have been anyone else had never occurred to him. He cursed himself for being so careless.
"Well, thanks... eh, I'd tip you, but I don't have anything on me...".
"Yes, I can see that", the girl replied with a giggle, now recovered from the initial shock.
"Oh? Oh! Right, yeah well... thanks anyway."
"Anytime, Mr Carter! You couldn't sign an autograph for me, could you?".
"Uh, yeah sure. Do you have a pen?".
The girl produced a pen from a pocket and handed it to him along with a piece of paper. Nick quickly scribbled down his name, while holding on to the towel for dear life.
"Here you go." he said and handed the paper and pen back.
"Would you mind signing your name on me too?"
"Sure." He replied, believing she wanted him to sign her wrist or something.
Nick's eyes grew to the size of saucers when she teared her shirt off in front of him and handed him a marker pen.
"Sign here, will you?" She says and points at one of her breasts. She didn't wear a bra.
"I've, I... You..." Nick's surprise knew no limits, something like this had never happened to him before. "'K." he simply uttered and took the pen, signing her breast.
"Thank you!" the girl giggled and looked at him.
The whole situation began to feel awkward and Nick felt a desperate urge to end it, it was certain that the girl didn't feel the need to end their meeting.
"OK, thanks. I'm pretty late so I really gotta get goin'. Perhaps I'll see ya around some time." 'But not if I see you first!' Nick thought to himself when he spoke the last sentence and smiled at her. "Bye."
The girl looked somewhat insulted, it hadn't went her way. But she realised that the battle had been lost.
"Thank you, Mr Carter." She replied with a cold voice and turned around, leaving him standing there.
Nick rolled in the tray and closed the door, slumping against it, 'Geez, where do all these people come from?'.
'Would it kill him if he'd be a couple of minutes early?'. Nick had been standing here in the lobby for..., he looked down at his wrist watch, ...about five minutes now, waiting for Jim to get here so they'd be on their way. In despair, Nick turned to face the park outside the lobby.
Just as Nick turned this back on the elevators, one of them opened and Jim stepped out.
'Fuck!', Jim, who had just gotten out of the elevator, was going through some papers he held in his hands. When he looked up he spotted Nick standing in the far end of the lobby, with his back at him.
Jim quickly hurried off to his left, heading for the gift shop. 'Man, I knew he'd be early, but I didn't think he'd be this pathetic!'. Jim was in no mood to spend a couple of hours at the airport with a hyperactive Nick by his side. That he had done often enough. Therefore, he had to stay out of Nicks sight for a little while longer.
"May I help you, sir?" The woman behind the desk in the gift-shop addressed him.
Jim quickly turned around, "Eh... No, I'm fine thanks...'. Jim looked out through the gift-shop's windows to see what Nick was up to. 'I'd might make it to the bar from here if I'm quick, without him noticing...'
Jim decided to make a dash for it and positioned him by the entrance, earning him some strange looks from the woman. Jim just smiled at her and wished her a pleasant day as he escaped the store and rushed to the bar. He had barely gone out of sight when Nick turned around.
'That's it, I'm going to the front desk to see if they know where he is!'. Said and done, Nick walked over to the clerk behind the desk.
"Hi. I was just wondering if you happen to know where Jim Foley, from Jive, is?
The clerk who saw Jim by the gift store just a few seconds earlier was quick with an answer and smiled widely.
"Certainly, I believe Mr Foley's over...". His voice trailed off as he looked over to the gift shop and discovered that Jim was nowhere to be seen.
"I..." The smile disappeared from the face of the clerk and was replaced with one of confusion, "I'm so sorry, I must have made a mistake. What if I leave him a message if I do see him?".
"That'd be great, could you tell him that he should get his ass down here and meet with Nick?".
"Very well, I'll do my best."
"Thank you, I'll be over in the lounge.". Nick turned around and headed over to the lounge area where he sat down to wait.
The clerk who had helped Nick was fairly certain that he indeed had seen Jim and decided to take a look around to see if he was anywhere to be found. He went over to the gift shop to see if they had seen Jim.
"Thanks, pal!". The bartender had just brought Jim the beer he had ordered. Jim was reading an article in a news paper when a hand descended onto his back.
"Mr Foley?" a voice questioned.
"Yes." Jim turned around and looked at the young clerk.
"So good I've found you! I have a message for you." Satisified with a job well done, he didn't wait for a reply, he continued anyway. "Mr Carter has requested that you'd join him in the lobby lounge immediately."
Jim cursed to himself, and exhaled deeply in an act of defeat. "Thank you." he replied shortly and tipped the clerk.
"Good morning Nick!" Jim had put on a friendly smile when he got to the lounge, "Just got word of you looking for me. So, wassup? It's not 11.40 yet, is it?"
'About time he showed up...' "I know, I thought we'd be on the safe side and be early so we won't be caught in traffic or anything. ...And since you're here, we'd might as well just leave now..." Nick finished off with a equally fake smile.
Jim and Nick headed off to the elevators which took them both down to the underground parking lot. Apparantly there wasn't any risk using the facility to leave the hotel, just arriving.
The black limousine which Nick had travelled in yesterday, were already waiting for them when they got there. Jim help open the back door for Nick to enter and then he took his place in the front of the limousine.
Jim leaned over to the driver and grunted silently to him,
"Make sure you take your time... Take a long detour, we've got well over an hour and half to kill."
The car shivered slightly when the gear was put into drive and it began moving. Nick looked out through the tinted windows as they pulled out of the garage. The sun was shining with immense power, and he couldn't believe his luck. Brian would be coming today! He had waited for so long. Now it would all be over and they'd be back together again. Nothing else mattered.
The driver did a pretty good job of just driving around and at 20 minutes past twelve they arrived at Munich International. The car pulled up by the entrance to terminal D, where Jim swiftly jumped out of the car and opened the back door.
"Here we go." Jim said as he opened the door. The big limousine caught a lot of peoples attention and a crowd quickly started to form on a subtle distance away from the car. Jim did his best trying to look big and mighty with his black sun glasses and black suit, hopefully making people keep their distance.
'Oh my god, this is it! OK, Nick. Calm down.' He had to constrain himself to keep from running into the terminal, screaming. Nick hadn't felt this happy, since, he didn't know when!
He had never been seperated from Brian for as long as two weeks, it had seemed as an eternity. But all the anguish he'd been through had been worth it, if it meant he got to be with Brian.
Nothing matters but Brian. Just the thought of his name made Nick's smile grow bigger.
Jim watched as the young blond got out of the car, Nick was shining as the sun and Jim could see the look of pure joy in his eyes. Jim then knew just how much this meant to Nick, and he knew it was worth spending all this time in the car. Nick hadn't been this happy for ages, especially not the past couple of weeks.
There had been times when Jim had been seriously worried about Nick. He had decided to speak with Brian about this when he'd get a chance at it.
He would of course not say anything about why Nick was depressed, just let Brian in on the fact that things weren't as good as Nick pretended when he's around Brian.
"Ha! I told you we'd be late! Lucky I was in such a hurry, huh?" Nick told Jim as he looked at his watch. The plane would land at 12.45, so they still had time.
"Yes, sir." Jim simply stated.
Nick took a quick look at the giant building and headed off to the entrance with Jim following him in the distance.
When he walked into the terminal people turned their heads and pointed at him, you could hear people whisper amongst them.
"Is it him?" "Nah, it can't be." "I'm telling you, it's him!". Others were excited and told the ones they were there with, "Look, it's Nick Carter!" and got a confused "Who?" back.
But they could point and talk as much as they wanted, Nick didn't care. Because Brian would be here soon! Nick was practically dancing with joy when he made his way through the crowded terminal.
He rushed by several different exits until he struck gold, 'Found it!', and a quick look at the time confirmed their scheduling. It was almost perfect. All except for the fact Nick had to sit down next to Jim on a bench and wait for what seemed as an eternity until finally the gates opened and people started to flow out.
Nick practically jumped out of his seat, almost giving Jim a heart attack. He stood eagerly awaiting the arrival of the rest of the group. His heart was beating wildly in anxiety, it felt as if it would break loose of its confinement.
AJ was the first one of them to come out. Nick spotted his, for now, blue hair a mile off.
"Yo, Nickay!" Aj exclaimed as he looked at Nick over his sun glasses.
"Hey, Bone. Wassup?", they greeted shortly. The longer it took for Brian to get here, the more excited Nick got.
A few seconds later both Kevin and Howie emerged and they were greeted by Nick just as briefly as he had greeted AJ.
Nick had stood there, for what felt as hours, waiting for Brian, when AJ walked over to him.
"Are you coming, Nick?"
He was totally doumbfound, they couldn't leave now, Brian hadn't come yet! "But what about Brian?" Nick asked puzzled.
"Oh, something came up, so he'll come at a later time." AJ answered as if nothing had happened.
The world started spinning, Nick felt as if he was free falling, he screamed out his anguish inside him. This couldn't be happening. It felt as if his heart died at that time and everything blanked out.
"Yo, Nick! What's wrong?" AJ got worried as Nick spaced out on him, and shook him when Nick didn't answer.
"Huh?" Nick just looked questioningly at AJ, he didn't feel anything, it was as if he wasn't there. He had locked up all his feelings, which he had done for so long now, depriving him of any emotions and senses.
"Man, you got me worried there, you looked like you've seen a ghost!" AJ said with a worried tone. "Come on, we'll get to the hotel." AJ throwed his arm around Nicks shoulders and pulled Nick with him to the limousine.
The guys all tried to engage into a conversation with Nick during the ride, but they all gave up after a few futile attempts. He was short in his replies, if he gave any at all. It was obvious he was in no mood to speak.
They had all seen it before and settled with this, even though they didn't approve of it. They all wanted Nick to speak his mind, tell them what was going on. But they all knew he wouldn't tell them unless he himself decided to say anything.
It didn't take them long to get to the hotel. If Nick hadn't been so devastated, he'd probably have been a bit confused why it went so quick since they didn't get stuck in any traffic jams on their way to the airport. But now, he just didn't care.
At the hotel they had to go through the same procedure as Nick had went through yesterday. The fans hadn't given up hope.
For once Nick was actually glad to be the first one out of the car. The rest of the guys had a long time ago figured out that if they'd let Nick go first the pressure on them would relax noticeably.
'I guess that's the price you have to pay to be the most popular one...' Nick used to say.
When all of them had gotten out of the limousine people started talking, wondering about where Brian was, why he wasn't here.
There would most certainly be some rumours saying that Brian had quit the group and that's why he hadn't been there with them. And mostly likely a press release would be issued tomorrow denying that very same rumour. It would explain that Brian's absence was due to personal or health reasons and the Backstreet Boys would continue on, through better or worse. For now, it seemed to Nick, worse.
The rest of the guys stopped to sign some autographs, since it had been so long since their last visit here. But Nick just continued on in to the hotel. There'd be some angry fans out there, thinking he was a real prick for not stopping and sign some autographs. He couldn't care any less about that now.
Inside, the manager was waiting, once again, to greet them welcome to his faboulus hotel. Nick walked past him without saying a word, on his way to the elevators.
Jim watched it all without doing anything, he was at a loss. It was clear that Nick didn't feel too good, but he didn't seem to react the way Jim had believed. He had expected some signs of sadness, or at least a sign of something. But Nick showed nothing. And this concerned Jim more than anything.
Nick stumbled in through the door, slamming it shut behind him, and throwed himself on the bed. Suddenly he started to cry violently. It just bursted out of him, all the feelings he had bottled up inside him for so long.
Nick couldn't hold it back any longer, it was too hard. Nick cried as if there was no tomorrow.
His world was collapsing around him, all he had previously experienced was nothing compared to what happened now. There was nothing Nick could do about it, the feeling was too overwhelming for him to control or even dampen.
He was alone.
His hope had left him, he didn't have the power to go on. For the first time in his life, Nick felt truly alone.
Later on in the afternoon Jim had decided to go up to Nicks room and see how he was doing. When he got to Nicks room he knocked on the door and waited for a response.
The time went by and yet no reply. Jim had just decided that Nick must have gone over to one of the other rooms. Jim was on his way to Kevin, to see if perhaps Nick was there, when he heard sobbings from inside the room.
The decision was easy. If Nick hadn't answered the door before it meant that something was wrong. Jim used his master key to get into the room.
He found Nick crawled together in fetal position, crying his heart out.
"Oh my god, Nick! What has happened?!" Jim exclaimed shocked. Jim rushed over to the bed and took Nick in his arms, trying to comfort him.
Jim was rocking him back and forth, trying to make him stop crying. He turned Nick's face so that Nick looked at him with his puffy red eyes. Jim tried his best to soothe him.
"It's OK, Nick." Jim didn't know what to say so he repeated the phrase over and over, stroking Nicks golden hair off Nicks face as he carefully wiped the tears away.
Nick looked up at Jims face and wispered to him, "I want Brian."
Jim's expression changed as he finally felt that he did have some control, now he knew what he had to do.
"Brian will be here." Jim stated plainly, "Just try and calm down. I'll make sure he gets here. I promise." Jim now had a mission and he was back in control.
"Don't tell the others." Nick silently let out between the cry attacks.
Jim looked disapprovingly at him.
"Promise me!" Nick managed to get through.
"I promise."
Jim sat with Nick in the bed for well over an hour, soothing him until the young blond finally went to sleep. When Jim was certain that Nick was sound asleep, he eased out of the position in which he had been sitting in for the last couple of hours, and tucked Nick in under the sheets.
Jim moved silently to the phone and made a few calls.
He also told Kevin that Nick didn't feel too well and wouldn't join them anymore today. Kevin had offered to come over, but Jim had persisted that he wouldn't and Kevin reluctantly accepted this.
When all was taken care of, Jim sat down in the sofa and turned on the TV, muting the sound. He wouldn't leave this room until Nick was feeling better.
To be continued
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Wanna know what will happen in part 3? Visit the 'Backstreets' website!
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Previews of future chapters, character infos, story recommendations and more available at the 'Backstreets' website.
While you're there check out my other story, 'Into the Millennium'. 'Backstreets' and 'Into the Millennium' are all available at www.geocities.com/writer_nike/
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