This is the next installment to 'Bad Boy B-Rok'. This is all completely fiction, so keep that in mind. This is not meant to imply anything about the Backstreet Boys or any celebrity that might be mentioned. It's just a fantasy. Please don't read this story if you're not allowed to for whatever reason. If you want to give me a holler, for whatever reason, the addy is worknprog@yahoo.com! This section is dedicated to a very dear friend of mine. So no jokes or teasing. He's helped me in any and every way that one friend can help another. It is with great admiration and gratitude (and joy) that I dedicate this section to him. His name is Josh. You know I have had a lot resting on my shoulders lately, and you've done the most helpful thing you could--you've been here to support me emotionally and mentally and just listen to me. Josh, for all that you have done and do on a daily basis, thank you muchly. To quote Alanis: "You are the bearer of unconditional things. You held your breath and the door for me. Thanks for your patience . You're the best listener that I've ever met. You're my best friend. Best friend with benefits. What took me so long." You are a true friend, and there are not enough words to fully express my gratitude and admiration. I hope I live long enough to be as good a person as you are. Being a good friend can mean so much. Josh, thank you muchly from the bottom of my heart. Here's the story:
"Well I went to school. Oh. Well I went to school. Ah hah hah. Well I went to school, in Olympia. Everyone's the same. Well what do you do, with a revolution????"-Courtney Love in the song 'Rock Star'.
Bad Boy B-Rok By-Leprechaun
(Prologue)
"Where do you think you're going?" Brian grabbed me and pulled me towards him as I went to get out of the bed. "Just to the bathroom. Why? You wanna shake it for me?" I replied with a tired laugh. "Um, no." Brian groaned in disgust. "Hurry back."
I smiled to myself and rolled out of the bed, grimacing as my feet touched the winter-induced cold floor. I leaned down and scooped by boxers up off the floor and slid them on, trying not to make too much noise. Howie and Kevin were sleeping just down the hall, so I didn't want to wake them up. I opened the bedroom door and crept out into the dark hall where the shadows from the small nightlight cast eerie shadows on the walls. I could hear Kevin snoring softly in his bed at the end of the hall. Howie's bed creaked and groaned to my right as I got to the bathroom door. I entered the bathroom and closed the door quietly, producing just a small click sound. I flipped on the light and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked pretty haggard. My face was pale and pasty, the condition exacerbated by the almost fluorescent lights that hung above me. I stood there and examined myself as I thought about the last month. It seemed like a whirlwind of events had transpired. From being on Rosie in December to getting back together with Brian to coming back to Orlando to stay with him, Kevin and Howie for a break before I started production on the "stripper movie". A lot had happened. I didn't have long to take a break with Brian. Almost immediately, people had tracked me down and were calling me about movies and talk shows and whatever they could think of. I needed a break from my break. Atleast I still had a couple weeks before production on the movie began. My stomach began to hurt and growled at me, causing me to wake up from my daydreaming. I walked over to the toilet, lifted the seat and did my business. Right when I was almost finished, my stomach gave me another growl and it began to burn while I was urinating. The burning was so intense I thought my dick had actually caught fire. I grabbed onto the cabinet above my head and whinced as I finished. As soon as I had stopped peeing, the pain was gone. I slowly put myself back into my boxers and flushed the toilet. I walked back over to the sink, rubbing my stomach, and washed my hands quickly. I turned the light off before leaving the bathroom and opened the door. I didn't look up as I began to walk out of the bathroom, causing me to run head first into Kevin.
"Jesus!" I practically shouted as my face collided with his chest. "Matt?!? What the hell are you doing?" Kevin stammered as he took a step back to regain his balance. "What the hell do you have on?" I asked and reached out.
I placed my hand on Kevin's chest and felt around, looking for the brick he was hiding that knocked me in the face. However, he didn't even have a shirt on to cover his chest.
"What are you doing?" Kevin laughed as I groped him. "Do you think you could get those muscles any tighter?" I laughed as I drew my hand away. "It couldn't have hurt that much." I could almost see Kevin blush in the dark. "Well it did." I replied as I rubbed my nose.
My stomach growled up at me again as I stood there holding my face.
"Hungry?" Kevin giggled. "I guess." I rubbed my stomach and whinced. "Well I need to go take care of some business." Kevin smiled and walked towards the bathroom. "Alright. Nite." I replied and turned towards Brian's bedroom.
I hadn't walked more than two steps when I had a gut-wrenching pain in my stomach. I clasped both of my arms over my stomach and groaned. I turned quickly and reached out, bracing myself against the wall.
"Matt? Are you okay?" Kevin asked as he flipped on the bathroom light. "Yeah...I'm fine." I groaned out and desperately tried to get myself back into an upright position. "You sure?" Kevin took a step towards me. "I'll be fine." I wheezed and felt myself getting faint. "Matt?!?!" Kevin asked in a shocked tone.
I didn't have a chance to respond. All of the sudden, I felt like I was underwater and everything was spinning. I couldn't tell what was happening, but at the same time, I knew what was happening.. I knew I had fallen to my knees and that I could barely see straight due to the pain. Then I felt my head hit something and more excruciating pain. Then I knew I was laying on the floor. I could tell someone was kneeling beside me and screaming, but I didn't know who they were or what they were screaming. Then everything went black.
"Matt, damnit, wake up!" I couldn't open my eyes, but I heard Brian screaming down at me. "Fuck, I'll call an ambulance!" I heard Howie practically scream from somewhere farther away. "What the hell is wrong with him?!?!" Kevin shouted at Brian. "If I knew I'd tell you, Kevin!" Brian screamed back. "Goddamnit, the fuckin' line's busy!" Howie hollered right before I heard some loud banging. "What happened right before he passed out?!" Brian demanded an explanation from Kevin. "I don't know! He just grabbed his stomach and passed out, alright?!" Kevin retorted.
Brian leaned across my sprawled out body, obviously to hit or strangle Kevin and inadvertedly put his knee right into my chest. The pressure made me start to cough right away. I felt like I was gagging. I started sputtering and flailing my arms, trying to catch my breath.
"Matt?!?! Matt, are you okay?!?!" Brian asked frantically. "Howie, he's awake!" Kevin shouted.
With Brian's knee in my chest, I couldn't reply. All I could do was cough and try to motion for him to get off of me.
"Answer me, Matt!" Brian grabbed my shoulders and shouted down at me.
I open my eyes, reached up and grabbed Brian. I pulled him towards me quickly.
"Get your fucking knee out of my chest!" I coughed most of it out. "I'm sorry." Brian stated quickly as I let go of him. "Matt, are you okay?" "I'm fine." I groaned and clutched my stomach as another pain hit me. "What's wrong with your stomach?" Kevin asked hurriedly. "I...don't...know." I barely wheezed out. "Bring him some water." Kevin stated just loud enough for Howie to hear him.
All of the sudden I started feeling better. The pain suddenly just went away. I looked up at Brian. He had tears rolling down both of his cheeks as he looked down at me.
"Oh, baby. It's okay." I almost began to cry with him as I reached up and placed a hand on the side of his face to comfort him. "Goddamn you, Matt. You can't do this to me all the time!" Brian tried to make a joke as he practically fell on me and scooped me up into his arms. "It's okay baby. It's okay." I tried to soothe Brian by running a hand through his hair as he held me tightly to him. "Here ya' go, Matt." Howie knelt down beside Brian and me and held out a glass of water. "Thanks." I smiled with rosie cheeks as I took the glass from him. "Jesus. That's enough excitement for me at three in the morning." Kevin exhaled heavily and fell back against the wall he was kneeling by. "I'm sorry guys." I blushed as Brian pulled away from me. "It's not your fault." Howie patted me on the shoulder. "What happened?" Kevin asked me. "I don't know. My stomach hurt." I sighed and took a gulp of the water as all three of the guys looked at me with expressions of pure curiousity and worry. "Did you eat something bad?" Brian asked. "I ate the same thing for dinner you guys did." "Howie's enchiladas?" Brian cocked his head. "Yeah. Those things would give an elephant indigestion." I cracked a slight joke before draining the rest of the glass. "Hey!" Howie laughed and slapped me on the arm. "He's right, D." Kevin giggled. "Come on." Brian took the glass out of my hand and gave it to Howie. "Let's get you back to bed." "Yeah, that wouldn't be a bad idea." I yawned as Brian stood.
Brian grabbed my hand and helped me stand. I was expecting excruciating pain, but there was nothing. I felt the same as I did before I went to the bathroom. Brian immediately began dragging me towards the bedroom.
"I'm sorry guys. Thank you." I turned slightly to talk to Kevin and Howie as Brian pulled me towards the bedroom. "I'm just glad you're okay. Get some rest, bro." Kevin smiled warmly at me. "Goodnight guys." Howie stated.
(Part One)
"Do I really need to do this over one little stomach ache?" I asked indignantly as Brian pulled me towards the door to the doctor's office. "One little stomach ache that made you pass out, yes." Brian retorted and kept his pace towards the door. "Come on, Brian. You know and I know that I'm fine." I tried to reason with him. "You've never been fine, what are you talking about?" Brian laughed, not letting up. "Brian, you know what I mean. I don't need to go to the doctor." I stammered and dug my feet in, stopping him. "Matt, you're going in here if I have to throw you over my shoulder and carry you in with force." Brian looked at me with a serious frown. "I don't want to go in, baby." I whined. "Well, you're going to." Brian put his foot down. "I'll make it worth your while if I don't have to." I grinned evily at Brian. "Really?" Brian grinned back, almost blushing. "Definitely." I smiled, leaned forward and kissed him, then licked him ever so slightly across his lips.
Brian looked at me like he could throw me down and ravage me right there in front of the doctor's office for a minute.
"No! You're going in!" Brian shook off his "trance" and grabbed my arm. "The hell I am." I made the mistake of trying to turn and walk away. "Alright, that's it." Brian stated.
The next thing I knew I was up in the air, over Brian's shoulder. Immediately I began kicking and screaming like I was being kidnapped, but at the same time trying to control my laughter. Brian didn't pay any mind. He walked right into the doctor's office with me screaming from his shoulder. As soon as we got inside and I could see all the other patients sitting in the waiting room staring at us like we were the side show at a circus, I began laughing louder.
"May I help you?" I heard the receptionist ask like we were crazy.
I couldn't see the expression on her face since my ass was pointed in her direction, but I could imagine what she looked like.
"Yes. This is Matt Thompson." Brian reached up and patted my lower back as I hung there. "He's here to see Dr. Shariff." "Um, he'll need to fill out these forms." The receptionist stated. "Thank you." I could feel Brian reach out and grab something, then he began to walk towards a corner with empty chairs. "Brian, you can put me down now." I whispered, trying not to let the other patients hear me.
Brian helped me down from his shoulder and smiled at me like he had just won the Olympics.
"Are you proud of yourself now?" I huffed and plopped down in a chair. "Very." Brian smiled widely and sat down next to me.
I leaned forward and began to rifle through the magazines on the coffee table a couple feet infront of me.
"Look baby," I whispered and held up an enquirer,"Christina Ricci Carrying Matt Thompson's Baby!"
I laughed as I read the headline.
"That's old news. That must be an old issue." Brian giggled with me. "No kidding. Oh, and here's another about how I'm dating Sarah Michelle Gellar. Goodness here's one about how I overdosed on heroin." I held up magazine after magazine, making Brian laugh at me. "That's too funny." "Oh look. I've got a stalker." I laughed as I held up another one. "Don't they have any mags with new rumors in them?" Brian teased. "I guess not." I sighed fakely and put all the mags back on the table. "You need to fill this out, baby." Brian leaned closer to me and whispered. "Oh goodie." I grabbed the clipboard and pen from him like I was excited. "You are too much." Brian laughed as I began filling in my name.
We sat there in silence for a couple minutes while I filled in my information.
"Um, Brian?" "Yeah?" "Did you bring any money?" I looked at him shyly. "Why?" "Well 'cause I don't have insurance and I don't have any cash." I replied with an ashamed giggle. "Boy, what's wrong with you?" Brian laughed. "I know, I know." "Yes, I'll pay for them to fix you." "Good, now one more question." I replied. "What, baby?" "What's my social security number?" "I hope you're kidding." "Hmmmm, give me....nine numbers." I stated like I was serious. "Boy, just fill it out."
I just laughed at my joke about being a helpless little move star and filled it in. After I had finished filling in the papers, Brian took them back up to the receptionist for me. When he came back to his seat, we sat there, staring blankly ahead of us as the crowd of patients slowly went into the back to be looked over and then left. After about an hour of waiting, Brian and I were the only people left in the room. Feeling that no one was watching, I slowly laid my head on his shoulder.
"It'll be okay, baby." Brian reached up and patted me on the head. "I know. I just don't like to go to doctors." "Aren't you the guy that was with Leo when he had blood oozing out of his leg?" Brian laughed and rested his hand on my knee. "Well I just don't like being the one being checked over." I sighed. "Don't worry, boy." He replied and kissed me quickly on top of my head. "Yes, pappy." I laughed slightly.
After about another fifteen minutes of waiting, the receptionist stood up, and I jerked my head off of Brian's shoulder quickly so she wouldn't see.
"Matt?" She looked over at us. "Yes?" I stood up, followed by Brian. "The doctor can see you now." I almost laughed at how much that sounded like a cheesy movie line. "Okay." I smiled and walked towards her desk.
Brian immediately started trailing me. I got up to her desk and Brian practically bumped into me from walking behind me too fast.
"Um, can he come with me?" I asked like Brian was an idiot. "Is he family?" "Yeah, he's my sister. Isn't she pretty?" I replied seriously.
Brian slapped me in the arm and the receptionist just laughed.
"Sure, just follow me." She smiled at me again and lead us towards the door that would take us to the examination rooms.
The halls were actually decorated cheerfully. There weren't pictures of skeletons or diseased human beings, so that put me at ease. Finally, after what seemed like walking forever, the receptionist stopped at the very end of the hall and opened a door.
"Matt, if you'll just strip down, put on the gown and hop up on the table, the doctor will be right with you. Brian, choose a chair." She smiled. "Thanks." Brian replied for us as the receptionist walked back towards the waiting room.
I walked into the room warily as Brian followed me and shut the door. I stood in the middle of the room and looked around, hoping there wouldn't be any of the "skeleton pictures" hanging up. I didn't spot any, but I did see a picture of a pair of diseased lungs admonishing smoking. I stood there and stared at it for a second before I felt Brian walk up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist. He let his hands slide down to the button on my jeans and slowly began to undo them.
"What are you doing?" I jumped from the shock. "Didn't she say to strip down?" Brian replied and kissed me on the neck as he unzip my pants. "We're in a doctor's office." I stated quickly. "I know." Brian put his hands in the waist of my jeans and slowly slid them down.
I stepped out of my pants, then turned around to face him with passion in my eyes. Brian slid back up my body and looked me in the eyes as he reached for the bottom of my shirt. I raised my arms above my head as he slowly pulled my shirt up and off of my body. Brian knelt and grabbed up my jeans and shirt and put them on the counter by him. Then he put his hands on my pecs and looked me in the eyes. Ever so slowly, he slid them down my chest, over my stomach, and to my waist. I just continued to look him in the eyes as he slid his hands into my boxers and to my thighs. I leaned forward and put my head on his shoulder with a sigh. Brian made a quick movement, the pulled his hands out of my boxers. I pulled back to see what he was doing.
"Now put this on like the nice receptionist said." Brian smiled as he held the gown out to me. "You're just plain evil." I replied as I snatched the garment from him.
Brian lead forward, reached down and placed a hand on my crotch.
"Don't I know this?" He whispered in my ear, giving me a quick squeeze. "Be that way." I turned away from him like I was mad and proceeded to try to figure out how to work the gown.
(Part Two)
"Hi, Matt. I'm Dr. Shariff."
A man of about thirty-five, dark skin, perfectly white teeth that shone through his smile, and pitch black hair walked into the room. He looked rather distinguished and professional, but friendly at the same time. I knew he had to be from the Middle East, but he didn't seem to have an accent.
"That would be me." I smiled nervously at him. "Nice to see you, Matt." He walked over and shook my hand. "Same here. Just wish I didn't need a doctor. No offense." I replied as I shook his hand. "I understand." The compassion in his eyes shone. "Who's this?" "Oh, that's my sister." I looked at Brian. "Hey!" Brian blushed. "Well, she's a very pretty young lady." The doctor replied with a laugh. "Thanks." I smiled at Brian. "So, what seems to be the problem today?" The doctor put his hands on the table next to me and looked at me. "Well, this is sort of embarassing." I blushed. "I've heard it all, don't worry." The doctor smiled, trying to comfort me. "Well, okay. Um, last night, I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and, well, I got a really bad stomach ache, and, well, it burnt when I used the bathroom." I replied quickly. "Hmmmm, was there blood in your urine?" He eyed me. "I don't think so." I thought about it for just a second. "He did faint right afterwards, though." Brian chimed in. "Really?" The doctor looked at Brian then me. "Yeah. I got a really powerful pain in my stomach and I just blacked out." I concured. "Is that where this came from?" The doctor pointed at the small bruise on my head I got from banging it on the wall when I fainted. "Yeah. I didn't want to come, because it was only one time this happened, and that was just last night." I explained. "Well, it's good that you came right away." He smiled. "Told you." Brian looked at me proudly. "You're a smoker, right?" The doctor made a sniffing sound. "Yes." I gritted my teeth. "Well, that shouldn't cause the problem, but it can't help. I just like to ask everyone to shame them." He smiled. "Thanks." I retorted sarcastically with a slight laugh. "When you drink fluids, what do you drink?" "Huh?" I didn't get it. "Do you tend to drink colored fluids more than clear ones?" He asked patiently. "Like coke?" "Yes." "Yeah, I'm a coke junkie." I smiled. "What about sexual activity?" He asked, not batting an eye. "What about it?" I asked wide-eyed. "Do you have sex?" He smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "Um, yes." "You?" The doctor looked at Brian. "Um, um..." Brian stuttered, looking for the words. "Yes." I replied for him. "Understood." The doctor smiled, not looking the least bit grossed out. "Well how about you lay down here and we'll have a look see." "Look at what?" I was totally baffled. "Well to be delicate--your urinary tract." He replied. "Ugh. This isn't going to be fun, is it?" I groaned as I pulled my legs up on the table. "Not for you, no." He made a poor joke. "Ha Ha." I teased with a nervous discharge of breath.
I turned lengthwise on the table and laid down, my head resting on the anorexic pillow at the head of the table.
"You're going to have to take those off." The doctor motioned at my boxers. "Oh, yeah. Forgot about those." I blushed and reached down, stripping them off, tossing them to Brian and laying back down. "I am guessing you don't mind him seeing you if I pull your gown up?" He motioned at Brian. "No." I laughed. "Good." He smiled and lifted my gown.
Immediately, he "snapped" on some gloves and began poking and prodding. Every now and then he did something that felt like he was going to rip my dick right off of me. Then he stopped, walked over to the counter and grabbed something from a drawer and came back. The pain was almost worse than the stomach aches. I didn't want to look to see what he was doing. Looking might have made it worse.
"Now, tell me if this hurts." The doctor stated. "IF?? It's been hurting since you started." I groaned, trying to laugh at the situation. "Really?" The doctor looked baffled. "Matt, he's barely even touched you." Brian cocked his head from confusion. "Well it hurts, I promise." I sighed and let my head fall back on the pillow.
The doctor continued looking around. I'm sure the whole thing took maybe five minutes, but it seemed like an eternity. When you have someone poking and pulling on the most senstive part of your body, a second can feel like an hour. Finally, the doctor pulled the gown back down and stepped away from the table. He yanked off his gloves and threw them in a bin.
"You can sit up." He stated pleasantly. "So, what's the problem?" I asked as I sat up and dangled my legs back over the side of the table. "Well, to be honest, I have a couple things in mind, but I'm not sure." He sighed. "Well, what do you have in mind?" I asked. "It could have been a kidney stone, a urinary tract infection, or, maybe it is..." He turned away from me for a second. "What?" "It could be a sexually transmitted disease." He replied and turned to look at me then Brian.
I laughed, thinking he was making a joke. However, he kept a serious expression on his face, making my smile fade quickly.
"You're serious?" I practically whispered, then looked over to see Brian looking very pale and staring out into space. "It's a possibility and I don't want to rule out anything right now." He stated, looking rather compassionate. "Not like..." I paused for a real long time. "HIV or anything?" "Well that's always possible if you're having unprotected sex." He glanced at both of us again. "But I was thinking more along the lines of Herpes or Gonorrhea." "You have got to be kidding." I said, knowing he wasn't. "I know that sounds awful, but it still could be something simple like a kidney stone or just an infection." "Well that doesn't sound pleasant, either." I sighed, trying not to start thinking about all the funky things I could have. "It's alot better than Herpes. Herpes has no cure." He brought me back to reality. "So, what do we need to do?" I asked. Brian was still sitting and staring off into space with a blank look on his face. "Well, I'm going to send a nurse in to take blood. Then we'll need you to give us a urine sample. I know it'll hurt to do that, but it's necessary. Also, we'll need you to drink some nasty ole barium and bring in a portable to do some x-rays of your abdomen, okay?" "Alright." I looked down. "Okay. I'll be right back, Matt." Dr. Shariff patted me on the shoulder then walked out of the room.
Brian and I sat there in silence as we waited for the nurse to return.
(Part Three)
I laid in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling. When Brian and I had gotten home that afternoon, the guys asked us what happened. We just told them that the doctor took a urine and blood sample and I'd have to go back in three days to find out what was wrong. The rest of the evening, we barely talked to each other. We were both too nervous about what the doctor might find to discuss it right away. I felt guilty for the thought, but I began to have thoughts that Brian might have cheated. Maybe he gave me something. I knew Brian loved me and wouldn't do that to me, but I still had a lingering thought that I might come up positive for some STD. I knew I hadn't been with anyone--ever--but Brian. Did he cheat on me with Carson when we went down for Spring Break? Did he sleep with anyone while we were split up? Has he had something all along? There were so many unanswered questions. Another thing was bothering me. When we got into bed that night, which was a lot ealier than usual, Brian got on one side of the bed and didn't even hold me. He seemed to be keeping his distance in bed. Instead of talking about it with him, I just rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling as he went to sleep. I just laid there with my thoughts to myself. However, halfway during the night, Brian began to stir and rolled over onto his back as well.
"What's wrong baby?" I whispered as he joined me in staring at the light fixture. "Nothing. I just can't sleep." He replied. "Um, do you want to talk about today?" I asked quickly. "No." "Okay." I sighed. "Matt, you're not keeping anything from me, are you?" He asked right away. "I thought you didn't want to talk?" "Well," He rolled over and propped himself up on his elbow and looked at me,"You didn't do anything you're keeping from me, are you?" "What do you mean?" I asked, turning to face him. "You haven't, well....you know." He was being vague. "What?" "You haven't fooled around, have you?" He explained. "Ofcourse not!" I couldn't believe he'd even think it.
Ofcourse, I realized I was thinking the same thing about him.
"Okay."
I laid there for a second, but then I got angry.
"How could you even ask me that?!?! You know I've only been with you." I shook my head in disbelief. "You weren't thinking about it?" He asked. "No." "Seriously?" "Well, yeah..." "You thought I'd cheated on you?" He gave an angry laugh. "Well I know I didn't go fuck anyone and get something." I wasn't choosing my words well. "Oh, so you think I'm a slut?" His tone seemed very angry. "I didn't say that." I sighed. "Well what are you saying?" He asked in the same tone. "Brian, were you with anyone while we split up?" I was blunt. "Oh my god!" He exlcaimed then jumped out of the bed. "What's wrong with that? Don't I deserve to know?" I asked, sitting up in the bed quickly and turning on the bedside lamp. "How could you ask me that?!?!" He asked me like I was stupid. "It's a reasonable question." I stated. "No it's not!" I knew he was hiding something. "Brian, did you sleep with anyone?" I asked again.
Brian stopped and just looked at me. He stared at me angrily for the longest time, then he got a pale face and looked down at his feet.
"You did, didn't you?" I couldn't believe it. "Well, how do I know you didn't go fuck someone, too?" He stammered. "Oh please." I sighed and fell back on the bed. "How do I know you didn't go finish the job with Justin after you got rid of me?!?!" He was hitting below the belt. "Justin Timberlake?" I sat up quickly. "Yeah, how do I know you didn't go back and fuck him after you were done with me?" "Fuck you!" I grabbed Brian's pillow and chunked it at his head.
Brian caught the pillow, and his face changed. He knew he'd hit the wrong button.
"You can get the fuck out of here!" I shouted. "Matt..." Brian began to walk towards me. "Fuck you, Brian. Fuck you and whoever you were with while we were split up." I gritted my teeth. "Matt, I didn't mean it, I'm just upset." Brian looked down. "Fuck you anyway." I turned away from him and laid back down on the bed, facing away from him. "Baby..." Brian touched my shoulder. "Leave me alone, Brian. I mean it." I growled.
Brian didn't say anything, he just kept his pillow and went to the door.
"I'm sorry." He whispered as he walked out, closing the door behind him.
Immediately, the tears came. I began to cry.
(Part Four)
The next two days were hell. Brian and I weren't talking, and Kevin and Howie noticed the tension between us. Ofcourse they probably heard the fight we had that late night two days ago. Howie and Kevin both tried to talk to us, to help us work it out, but I was in no mood to hear it. I just wanted some silence to think about what was going on. To worry about what the doctor would tell me. I just knew that he was going to tell me that I had some sexually transmitted disease. How was that going to look when I went to take my drug test to be bonded for the movie in a month? Everyone would find out I had some funky disease that would make no one want to hire me for a movie ever again. It might have been selfish to be thinking about my career, but I couldn't help it. My life would be in such an uproar if I had something bad. What would Barbara say? I'd have to tell her. Oh god, the Enquirer would love to get ahold of this information. No telling what they'd say about me, or who they'd speculate about me having an affair with. They'd probably match me with every single actress--and maybe actor--in Hollywood. This would cause quite a rippled in the Hollywood pool. But I didn't have any warts. How could I have Herpes? I couldn't figure anything out. The evening before I had to go back to the doctor's office to find out what was wrong was even more tense. Brian was severely withdrawn. He never left the apartment and he wasn't talking to anyone. Dinner was very uncomfortable. Kevin, Howie, Brian and myself sat in silence, afraid to make any conversation. After dinner, everyone was sitting in the living room, watching some rerun of South Park on Comedy Central while I volunteered to do dishes. The prospect of doing chores wasn't exciting, but I didn't feel like sitting during another hour of uncomfortable silence either. After all the dishes were clean, dried and put away, I grabbed the small radio off the kitchen counter and walked out to the balcony. I plugged the radio into the outlet and found a good station. I sat down in the chair by the door and put my feet on the table, pulling my cigarettes out of my pocket. As I lit my smoke, the DJ was introducing From The Bottom of My Broken Heart by Britney Spears. I groaned, but was able to not puke from hearing the song. The stars were very bright--they seemed to be within reach they were so bright. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. The drone from the traffic on the highway about a mile away was like a lullabye. If I didn't have so much on my mind, I might actually have been happy.
"That was From The Bottom of My Broken Heart. Next up we have Show Me The Meaning by the Backstreet Boys. But first we have Ashley on the phone. We're going to have her try to win some B-Boy crap here." The DJ made me laugh with his choice of the word crap. "Ashely, are you there?"
I smiled softly to myself as the girl went on and on about how she thought the guys were so cute and she loved seeing them in concert. The DJ then asked her what Backstreet Boy was reported to have the sloppiest bedroom. Ofcourse the girl said Nick and got it right. The DJ proceeded to tell her she was right and named off all the stuff she won, causing the girl to break into a neverending stream of shrill screams. As soon as the DJ was able to get her to shut up, he played Show Me The Meaning. I listened to the song and looked up at the stars again. I lit another cigarette. The station broke into a commercial break then the DJ was back on announcing concerts and happenings going on in Orlando that night. During the speech, Brian walked slowly out onto the balcony, much to my surprise.
"Hey." He spoke softly and sat down in the chair across from me. "Hey you." I tried to smile and be pleasant.
That was the extent of our conversation for the time being. Brian immediately took an interest in the stars I too found so beautiful.
"Okay folks, how about a change in tunes here?" the DJ began. "Next up we have Macy Gray, I Try."
I sat there, trying to look anywhere but at Brian as the song began.
Games, changes and fears. When will they go from here? When will they stop? I believe that fate has brought us here. And we should be together babe. But we're not. I play it off but I'm dreaming of you. And I keep my cool, but I'm feelin'...
I try to say goodbye and not choke. Try to walk away and not stumble. Though I try to hide it, it's clear, My world crumbles when you are not near.
Goodbye and not choke. Try to walk away and not stumble. Though I try to hide it, it's clear, My world crumbles when you are not near.
I made a beef to be free. But I'm just a prisoner of your love. And I may seem alright and smile when you leave. But my smiles are just a front. Just a front. Hey! I play it off but I'm dreaming of you. And I keep my cool but I'm feelin'...
I try to say goodbye and not choke. Try to walk away and not stumble. Though I try to hide it, it's clear, My world crumbles when you are not near.
Goodbye and not choke. Try to walk away and not stumble. Though I try to hide it, it's clear, My world crumbles when you are not near.
Here is my confession. I may be your possession. Boy I need your touch, love, kisses and such. But oh my my I try. But this I can't deny. Didn't I? I play it off but I'm dreaming of you. And I keep my cool, but I'm feelin'...
I try to say goodbye and not choke. (Yeah!) Try to walk away and not stumble. Though I try to hide it, it's clear, My world crumbles when you are not near.
(Hey-ey-ey)Goodbye and not choke. Try to walk away and not stumble. Though I try to hide it, it's clear, My world crumbles when you are not near.
Goodbye and not choke. Try to walk away and not stumble. Though I try to hide it, it's clear, My world crumbles when you are not near.
Hey-ey-ey! Hey-ey!
"Didn't that just fit?" Brian smiled to himself. "Huh?" "That song just fit our mood here." Brian looked right at me.
I thought about it for a second.
"Yeah, I guess it did." I smiled back at him. "Listen baby, I'm sorry." Brian got up and walked over to kneel in front of me. "Brian, I'm sorry, too. It's just hard to think that I might have something." I looked down at him. "Baby, no matter what happens, I'm here for you. You're here for me. I love you, and I don't want to have something like this to push us apart." He placed his hand on my knee. "I don't either. I love you too, Brian. I just want to go tomorrow and get this over with." I replied. "Me, too." He laid his head in my lap.
I began to run my hand through is hair, comforting him as I looked down at him.
"Come here." Brian held his arms out to me.
I pulled Brian up into the chair with me and hugged him deeply, nestling my face in his neck.
"Brian?" "Yeah, baby?" He whispered in my ear. "It wasn't that skank Carson, was it?" I asked. "No baby." Brian giggled as he pulled me tighter into his arms. "Good." I smiled.
(Part Five)
"Are we going to go in?" Brian asked as we sat in his car outside of the doctor's office. "Yeah." I sighed as if from some dream.
I didn't move, though. I just sat there. I stared at the doors of the clinic like they were the gates to hell.
"Come on, baby. It's now or never. Remember, I'll be right there with you." Brian reached out and touched my hand. "You're right." I looked over at him and smiled. "Let's go do this."
I hopped out of the car and followed him into the office. Apparently, the receptionist was waiting for us, because she directed us back to the same room we were in before right away. I hopped up on the table again while Brian took his seat in the same chair.
"Baby, she sure sent us back here quick, didn't she?" I asked, worried that she sent us back for bad news. "It's okay, boy. Don't worry until you have to." Brian tried to soothe me. "You're right. Okay, I'll be calm." I laughed from being so nervous.
I sat on the table and fidgeted for what seemed like hours, but in all actuality was five minutes, before the doctor came in.
"Matt, great to see you again." The doctor seemed very happy. "Wish I could say the same." I joked, but was still nervous as hell. "Well I have great news for you." He sat down on a chair next to Brian and looked up at me. "Tell me." "Well you don't have any sexually transmitted diseases, first of all. No HIV, Gonorrhea, Herpes, not a one." He smiled brightly, causing me to exhale loudly from relief. "You don't have a UTI, either." "So, what is it?" I asked in a relieved but hurried tone. "Well, the bad news is..." "What, what?" I interupted him. "You have kidney stones. You can't even see them in your x-rays. They're so miniscule it was hard to find out what was wrong. You've probably had them for awhile now. But they're so small, you've probably been passing some of the smaller ones without knowing it. The one you passed the other night was big enough to let you know something was wrong." He explained. "So, what do we do?"
I had kidney stones. I was so happy.
"Well, you can go home with a 'scrip' for pain killers and just pass them naturally, or we can put you in the hospital, drug you up, catheterize you and let you pass them while you're out of it." He explained in terms I could comprehend. "Well, neither sounds like it'll feel good, but what would be the quickest and least painful?" I asked. "I know going into a hospital doesn't sound like fun, but that would be less painful. We'd probably just have to keep you a night. We'll just drain those kidneys good, along with all the stones and you'll be a new man." The doctor seemed very happy that this was my prognosis. "Okay, if that's the best." I wanted to jump up and hug the doctor. "Just one warning," He looked at Brian then me,"an erection will be painful a week or two following this."
Brian and I both laughed.
"I'm just happy that's all it was." Brian smiled up at me. "You don't know how happy I am." I beamed. "Well, if kidney stones make you happy, I'll check to see if you have anything else wrong with you." The doctor joked. "Now, you guys wait here, and I'll go get the nurse to call the hospital and see when the soonest is we can get this done." "Thanks, doc." I thanked him as he left the room.
Brian waited until the door was shut and the doctor was gone, then jumped up and yanked me off the table. He threw his arms around my neck and began to kiss all over my neck.
"I love you, baby." I could tell he was extremely happy. "But who loves you more, baby?" I laughed and began to kiss him back.
(Epilogue-third person, Brian& Barbara)
"How's Matt doing?" Barbara asked as Brian walked out of Matt's hospital room and almost ran right into her. "He's doing good, woman. When did you get in?" Brian answered and rubbed the inside of his elbow where the nurse had just taken blood to give him an HIV test. "Just an hour ago." Barbara seemed rushed. "How're you doin'?" "Has the doctor been around?" Barbara looked up and down the halls. "Yeah, he left an hour ago. He said Matt should be able to leave tomorrow." Brian seemed cheerful about the news. "Is he awake?" Barbara peered over Brian's shoulder into the room. "No, he's completely out of it. He's been asleep since they gave him the first dose of drugs, why?" "Well, I need to talk to him about a magazine article." "Barbara, he's in the hospital, give him awhile to recoup." Brian laughed. "Um, it's sort of serious." Barbara looked solemn. "Huh?" "Come on. Let's go outside so I can smoke. I'll tell you about it...."
To Be Continued....
So how'd you like it? Let me know. The addy is worknprog@yahoo.com! Again, thank you to my dear friend Josh. You can all also thank him, since he's the one that pressured me to write this! Love you, Josh! Love to all the fans, supporters, whatnot. Lep.