Copyright Notice - This story is copyright by Pete Roholt and the author retains all rights. You may distribute, copy or print this story however you like, as long as this copyright notice remains intact and you do not change the story in any way. Also you may not charge any fee to anyone to distribute or access this story.
Okay you all know the routine if you ain't supposed to read this don't. If you do don't get caught. If male to male affection and or sex bothers you get lost. This story deals with being outed in high school, gay bashing, suicide and rape and other intense themes. This is fiction it isn't true ( I do mean this isn't true JT and crew are all fictional characters this story does not represent my life) some scenes are based on my own experiences with names changed to protect the guilty. Any comments will be welcome at pistonpolisher@grabmail.com I do owe some of you my apologies I lost track of who I had replied to, sorry.
My thanks to everyone who kept me on track on this chapter, who offered criticism and help, especially my editors the greengoblin, tigger and Don. Also a certain kewl dude from Oz who came in at the seventh hour and substantially changed the plot line.
The Ballad Of JT Chapter Twelve by Pete Roholt
Things happened so fast after Jimmy's funeral I don't quite know how to tell it. I had no more than arrived home from picking up Blue Boy when my mom came rushing out of the house with the news that they had arrested four kids for beating me up. It had been Troy and Bob Sanford, Brad Johnson and Kevin Murray, I guess Kevin's conscience started bothering him and he went to the sheriff and confessed and turned in the other three. Kevin was still seventeen so he would get by pretty easy, but the other three were all eighteen and were sure to get tougher sentences. After that the school administration and my folks reached some kind of understanding and I did return to school, not that it was easy, but I wasn't openly harassed the way I had been before. I know there were plenty of people who had it in for me, but I was able to ignore most of them.
Over the next couple of months I fell into a routine and pretty much did figure out who my friends really were. The guys even though they had voted to keep me in the group somehow seemed to drift further and further away, when they would have something going on they would invite me, but I could sense that some of them really weren't comfortable with me around so I kind of let it go. Jason, Lorri and the twins were pretty much the only friends I had left. Don't get me wrong most people treated me ok and were friendly enough, but I since they weren't comfortable with me I tended to not be comfortable around them.
Dallas and I got together a few more times, but I was really worried that he would face what I was going through so when he met a girl that caught his fancy I encouraged him to try that. I didn't think Dallas was really gay more likely bisexual, anyway him and Jill seemed to really hit it off and I was happy for him. He seemed happy though once in a while I would get that special feeling from him. So that catches you up with me bashed in September and trying to get my life back to normal during October and the first half of November... I would tell you about the daily tedium of high school, but all high schools are pretty much the same, petty minds and petty cliques and same old shit. I figured that the rest of high school was going to be pretty boring for me, not likely to meet another gay boy like me in Hamilton North Dakota... at least that is what I thought until a week before Thanksgiving...
"First period English, damn I hate English and Mrs. Pike has got to be the dullest teacher in the world, she drones on in that monotone I don't know how anyone can stay awake." I thought for the umpteenth time as I yawned fighting to stay awake. My gaze veered away to Tom Jennings, straight as they come but he was my latest jack off fantasy. "I'm such a pitiful creature picking out different straight guys to think about when I jack off. I know a lot of guys think about different celebrities like JTT or Matt Damon or even Prince William, but what good does that do? I mean hell I don't ever have a chance of meeting any of those guys let alone having sex with them, so I look at the guys I go to school with. At least with them if I am lucky I can get to see their goodies in gym class. Maybe I can catch a few moments of sleep without that old bag noticing."
"John Clark!" Mrs. Pike said very loudly.
"Yes Ma'am" I replied groggily as I tried to shake the cobwebs out of my mind.
"You will please sleep on your own time not on mine."
"Sorry Mrs. Pike I didn't mean to fall asleep." I said then under my breath continued with, "If you weren't so damned boring maybe we could stay awake."
The people around me started to laugh.
"What was that Mr. Clark?" She asked.
"Nothing Ma'am."
She glared at me for a few moments then said "Where was I? Oh yes class this is Scott Milano, he just transferred here today. Please make him welcome."
We eyed him suspiciously.
"Mr. Milano there is a seat open next to Mr. Clark you may sit there."
He sat down next to me and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was a stunning creature. Five foot eight inches, about one hundred and thirty pounds, brown hair and the biggest brown eyes I had ever seen, even without the last name you could see that he was of Italian heritage. He was wearing black boots and jeans with a black shirt under a navy blue V-neck sweater, he had a raver bead choker on and his left ear pierced, the earring was a small hoop of silver. Everything about this guy screamed gay at me, but I knew better than to count on my gaydar if such a thing really exists..
"Hi I'm Scott.:" He said offering me his hand.
"Huh? Oh what? Umm hi I'm JT." I said turning red knowing that he caught me staring at him.
"JT? I thought that old bat called you John?"
"Yeah she did my name is John Thomas Clark IV but everyone calls me JT."
"Oh ok kewl." He smiled.
When he smiled I almost died... this boy just got better looking by the second.
"So umm would you mind showing me around? You are the first person I have talked to."
"Sure Scott, but I'm warning you there isn't much to see." I grinned. "Where did you transfer from?"
"Denver, Dad got offered a promotion but had to come out here for it."
"Oh I see, must be quite a culture shock moving from a city like Denver to Hamilton."
"Yeah it is strange I guess, though I haven't seen much of it yet we only got here yesterday."
Finally the bell rang letting us out of English. I showed him where his next class was and said I'd come back and show him the next one too, we had third and fourth periods together history and gym. I thought to myself I was going to have to think about my grandparents having sex in order to not spring wood when we change for gym. During history we got chewed out for talking to each other so we did our best to keep quiet.
He talked to the coach and was assigned a locker, turned out to be right next to mine, after I had been outed several of the guys had asked to have their lockers changed the didn't want to be near the fag, so there were some empty ones. I had about finished dressing when he came in and started to change. I tried not stare and took an extra long time to put my shoes and socks on. As good as he looked with clothes on he was even better with them off, his Italian heritage had blessed him with a beautiful olive complexion and his whole body looked as though he was slightly tan, he was toned but not really built, I mean he had some definition, but didn't look like a body builder. When he took off his boxers and put on his jock and gym shorts he turned his back to me so all I could see was his tight muscular cheeks. Then we went out to see what kind of torture awaited us for the next hour. We played basketball during gym not one of my favorite sports, but what the hell, it could have been worse. Showering was pure agony... everyone steered clear of me when I went in the showers so I had started doing it in record time, I did my fast shower that day and was getting dressed when Scott was just getting undressed.
"Man you did that fast, you sure you got clean?" He asked.
"Oh yeah," I smiled. "No sense in hanging around you know. I'll wait for you outside if you want."
"Sounds good to me."
Then lunch.
We walked into the lunchroom together and got our trays of industrial waste that the cafeteria chose to call food. My friends were at our regular table so I went over to it.
"Scott I'd like you to meet Lorri, my best bud Jason, and my cousins Dallas and Denver and that drop dead gorgeous blonde is Dallas' girlfriend Jill." I said while Jill blushed all the way to her ears. I knew that before I had been outed she had had a terrible crush on me so I teased her all the time, she really did like it when I did it and Dallas knew it was all in fun. "Guys I'd like you to meet Scott Milano he just transferred here from Denver."
After exchanging greetings and stuff Dallas said, "So Scott how did you come to meet JT?" I could feel just a little bit of jealousy in Dallas' voice.
"Mrs. Pike had me sit by him in English this morning... he was the first person that I met." Scott said.
"What do you think of Hamilton?" Lorri asked.
"Well it is really small... my old school was five times as big as this or bigger. But I have only been here since yesterday so I haven't seen much of it."
"If you've been here two days you have seen all there is to see in Hamilton." Jason said with a smirk.
"What do you do for fun around here?" Scott asked.
"Drink." The twins said at the same time.
"Well there is the theater and a pizza place that has an arcade." Lorri offered.
"We spend a lot of time riding and roping." Jason said.
"Riding and roping?" Scott asked.
"Yeah didn't JT mention that?" Jason replied.
"No..."
"Well you fell in with the redneck branch of the school population."
I could see the color drain from his face as if he'd seen a ghost. "Oh okay... where is the boy's room?" He asked suddenly.
Jason pointed down the hall and Scott took off almost on the run.
"What was that about?" Denver asked.
"I don't know, but I'm going to find out." I said as I followed Scott out of the room.
I went into the boys room and heard the sound of retching from inside of one of the stalls.
"Hey bud are you okay?" I called.
"Leave me alone." He said in between retches.
"Scott what's wrong?"
"Go back to your redneck friends and leave me the hell alone."
"No not until you tell me what is wrong... or what we did wrong."
The door on the stall swung open and Scott eyed me warily as he edged over to the sinks and washed his face then turned to face me. I noticed that the haunted look of earlier had been replaced by one of being hunted. He gripped his backpack tightly holding it between us as if it were a shield to protect himself and said, "Just leave me alone. Thanks for the help, but just leave me the fuck alone." Then he walked out.
I returned to my friends and sat down.
"Where's Scott?" asked Lorri.
"Umm he wasn't feeling well." I replied. Then the others returned to their conversation, but I was quiet trying to figure out what had happened. We had just been talking nothing serious had happened or was said. What in the hell happened to make Scott get angry like that? Shit... shit shit shit shit shit... one of those assholes in gym got to him. He found out about me and now this.
"JT... JT." Jason said as he shook my shoulder, "The bell rang you've been daydreaming again."
"Hmm oh okay, thanks Jason." Ever since I came back to school at times I would space out, this time it worked out okay my friends just thought it was my normal thing they didn't see it for what it was. I had one more class with Scott that day, computer science, the last class of the day. He sat as far away from me as he could. I tried to get his attention several times but he just ignored me. When the final bell rang I caught up with him on the way out of school.
"Scott," I said, "What's wrong?"
"Just leave me alone JT." He replied.
"I don't understand I thought we had hit it off fine."
"Just stay away from me."
"Oh you heard about me. Well if that is all you are about then fine I don't need you as a friend anyway." I said quietly and walked away. Damn the gossips in this school I no more than met a really nice guy someone that could be a friend and that I am attracted to and he turns out to be a damned bigot just like everyone else. `Well screw him I don't need him either.' I said to myself as I got into my new Ford Ranger four wheel drive truck that Dad and I had bought to replace the old Ford that had been vandalized.
I got home and changed into work clothes and went out to do my chores. Most of my chores are done in the morning, feeding the cattle and what not, but afternoons were for my horses. It was a little cold, but I was bundled up pretty good so I decided to take Blue Boy for a ride. Dr. Shannon had finally allowed me to ride again, but he hadn't mentioned how hard it would be. I was working on being able to ride all day, but so far about an hour is all my back could handle. I saddled Blue and rode off into one of the pastures.
I really wasn't watching the time or where I was going. I wasn't worried about getting lost, I had been riding this land since I straddled my first shetland pony. I let Blue have his head and wander as he wanted while I thought about the day and Scott. I suppose naturally enough Blue wandered back to the O'brien's I hadn't noticed until we were there. I hadn't been back there since I picked up Blue and made a point to drive around it if I had to go that way, last week Dad and I had been going some place and I was driving the route I took, took us five miles out of the way and I had had to explain to him why. `Shit I don't want to be here' I thought as I applied my spurs to Blue and took off at a high lope for home.
It was late when I got home. I stripped the saddle and bridle from Blue and rubbed him down, then I made my way into the house knowing that I was in for trouble for not being home at the right time.
"Where have you been?" Dad asked, "We've been worried sick about you."
"Sorry Dad I just went for a ride and lost track of the time." I replied.
"Sorry isn't going to cut it. You know better than to just disappear like that. What's wrong with you?"
"I said I was sorry."
"Damn it, it's high time you got your head out of the clouds. This is the last straw one more thing and you will be grounded."
"Fine ground me I don't give a shit. I got nothing to go out for anyway." I said as I turned around and went back to my room.
"JT stop and turn around right now." He ordered.
I just kept walking. "Oh well no dinner for me I guess," I said to myself as I walked into my room. I stank of horse sweat and was starting to stiffen up so I decided to take a bath, my tub had whirl pool jets in it and I figured that would feel good on my sore muscles. I found much to my surprise that I didn't even feel like jacking off. After the bath I was sitting at my desk finishing my homework when I heard a soft knock at my door.
"Yeah come in." I mumbled. Here comes the other barrel.
"You okay JT?" Mom asked.
"I guess." I replied, "What was with him tonight? How many times have I been later than this because I had to fix a fence or bring the cows back in?"
"Go easy on him JT, there have been some business problems."
"Problems what kind of problems?"
She just looked away.
"Shit, because of me?" I asked.
She nodded, "JT some people are just..."
"Why didn't you say something? Damn it I have the right to know."
"It isn't your problem, it doesn't concern you."
"Mom it is my problem, if I am causing this I have to know. School isn't working out anyway... I'll call Uncle Jerry tomorrow and get things set up so I can move."
"No JT we don't..."
"Too late Mom my mind is made up." I stated ending the conversation. I turned back to my computer and started to print out some reports.
"JT... JT please listen."
I ignored her and got on with what I had to do. I heard her leave. When I had been younger Dad hadn't been doing much ranching, he kept a few head of cows and some horses around, but with the business just didn't have the time livestock required. As I got older I loved working with animals and had gotten him to expand until we were a full blown ranch again. I kept track of everything and although he retained final say in everything he trusted me with an enormous amount of money for an almost seventeen year old boy. I kept a running inventory of everything we had on hand from supplies to the number of cattle and all the estimated worth, it was those reports that I was printing. When I had finished I went back upstairs to talk to him.
I found him in the living room and said, "Umm Dad can we talk?"
"Sure JT." He replied wearily. "Your mom tells me you have decided to go to Minneapolis."
"In the office, please?"
"Okay," He said as he heaved himself to his feet and went into the office, "What's up?"
"Well I know you only got back into ranching because of me and since I am the cause of your business troubles..."
"Now JT that simply isn't true. What is happening...:"
"No Dad I know better than that." I interrupted him. "This is the inventory of the ranch. The market is up so when we liquidate you should see a good profit. And since I won't be here you are going to have to sell the herd."
"JT..."
"No Dad it is bad enough that I am paying the price... and my friends are paying the price... I don't want you to pay it too... and after today I just don't give a damn." I stammered as I started to cry. "I'll never find happiness here anyway so I might as well cut my losses and run."
"JT," He said as he rose from his chair and circled the desk to grasp my arms. "Just exactly what happened today?"
"Well mom said that the business was having..."
"No I'm not talking about the damned business. What happened to you?"
"Ah umm I really don't want to talk about it."
"I really don't care if you want to or not, you are going to talk to me." He said sternly.
"I don't really know... there was a new kid in school today and I thought I felt something . Mrs. Pike had him sit by me and we hit it off pretty good then at lunch he got really distant." I said. "He told me to leave him alone and when I tried talking to him after school he told me to leave him alone again. I think one of the bigots told him about me... and ... and he's just like the rest of them.
I know that you tried to warn me that people would treat me like this, but I hoped I could just be normal for a while.
Everyone I care about will be better off if I am not here.... Jason and the twins can go back to the guys and not have to stand up for me... you and mom can go back to what life was like before and I... maybe in Minneapolis I can find someplace where I can be me."
"First off, " he replied, "No one would be better off with you gone. You are the heart of our family and your mother and I would be very sorry not to have you here. Second yes the business has taken some down turns, but that could be caused by a lot of things maybe I just haven't been able to drop the price of equipment low enough. As far as meeting another person that hates without reason, you are just going to have to get used to it. You aren't moving and that is that."
"Dad... please..."
"JT you know better than to argue with me... first it was earlier and now again."
"Okay, but I still think..."
"No buts JT." He stated flatly. "Now why don't you get something to eat... mom kept something warm I think."
Well at least I tried. When I went to bed I couldn't sleep and tossed and turned for a long time before falling asleep. I woke up early, not refreshed but at least alert and stumbled through my morning routine without looking at the clock only when I had finished dressing and was putting my stuff into my pockets did I notice that it was barely five o'clock. I quietly went up to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. We still had nice weather so chores were a breeze. After that, being hungry, I looked through the fridge I decided to be nice and make a good breakfast and just as my folks came into the kitchen I had pancakes and sausage all set.
"Good Morning." I said smiling, knowing that dad was a grouch for the first half hour after he woke up... that is where I inherited it from and it felt good to turn the tables on him for a change.
Dad grunted at me and sat down.
"Good morning Mom," I said as I poured coffee for them.
"You're in a good mood this morning." She replied.
"I'm on my third pot of coffee, got so much caffeine in my blood I'll speed all day long." I said, "But I'm not in a good mood. I don't want to go to school today."
"Well we all have to do things we don't want to do." Dad said sourly.
"I didn't ask to stay home I just said I didn't want to go. Oh and Dad?"
He looked at me expectantly.
"Drink your coffee you will feel better soon." I teased.
At that mom started to giggle she saw what I was doing and said. "Well now you know how JT feels when you tease him in the morning John."
"Humph." He replied.
I was washing the dishes when the phone rang. In our house the rule is you make the mess you clean it up.
"That was Jason," Mom said, "He wants you to pick him up his truck died again."
"Okay. Can you finish these? Since I have to go out to Jason's I don't have time." I said.
"Go, and take it easy at school. Oh and thanks for breakfast it was nice not having to cook this morning."
"I should have just fixed you oatmeal." I said with a wink as I tried and failed to get past her without being swatted with a towel.
I had warmed the Ranger up when I was doing chores so I didn't have to wait when I left for school. I put Alabama in the CD player and took off for Jason's.
"God damned no good stinking lousy rotten piece of General Motors garbage." Jason snarled as he hopped in my truck.
"Good morning to you `oh best friend in all the world'." I smiled at him.
"Ah shut up. That damned truck I thought I had it fixed."
"What's wrong with it now?"
"Electrical again... got no spark."
"Well after school I'll come out and we can take a look at it."
"Thanks, but it just pisses me off."
"Jason it doesn't do any good to get mad at it or swear at it... it's an inanimate object it can't hear you and it doesn't have any feelings."
"But it makes me feel better."
"Yeah I can tell by the way you turn bright red and the veins stick out on your neck."
"Thanks with friends like you who needs enemies?"
I just laughed at him.
"JT did you finish your trig?"
"Yeah but it was a real bitch."
"Good I can't get number four or seven."
"You would still be struggling to pass algebra if it weren't for me wouldn't you?" I teased him.
"I'm not that thick. I just got sleepy before I finished." He said defensively.
"Tired eh? I thought you and Lorri were studying together."
"Well umm we were."
"Sure and just which part of her anatomy were you studying?" I said as we pulled into the school parking lot.
He blushed clear up to his ears. "I'll catch you later JT I gotta go."
"Sure Jason you just don't want to continue this conversation." I called out to his retreating back.
I was a few minutes early so I sat down at my desk and pulled out a paperback novel. I looked up when Scott sat down, but turned my head right away. Today he was in black head to toe... black Doc Martens, black cargo pants and a black turtleneck sweater, he had a gold stud in his ear today and I thought I could smell Aqua Di Gio. I tried not to look at him, but like he was a magnet I couldn't help myself... my eyes were drawn to him. Once in a while he would turn my way and I would avert my eyes... I think I caught him looking at me too.
Finally Mrs. Pike finished annoying us for another day and told us no home work and have a happy Thanksgiving, I think she was looking forward to our Thanksgiving break as much as we were.
I hustled my ass out of class when the bell rang and looked forward to my next class since Scott wasn't in that one. After that was history and unfortunately I couldn't avoid him. Again we sat next to each other and again we did our best not to see each other. Mr. Anderson was a great teacher and he took pity on us that week and didn't give us any homework, in fact we could do almost anything we wanted as long as were mostly quiet.
Inevitably I suppose our classmates noticed that Scott and I weren't buddy like we had been the day before and one of the bigots just had to give me a hard time.
"Hey Milano I see you aren't talking to JT today," Frank Schwartz said, "Good thing you might catch it from him."
"Huh catch what?" Scott asked.
"Yeah I hear being a fag is catchy..."
"Mr. Schwartz." Mr. Anderson's voice cut through the room. "Out of my class and go see Mr. Stein. Words like that are not permissible in my class room or in this school."
Frank just sneered at me and walked out. Every one's eyes were on me and I felt those big beautiful brown eyes of Scott's most of all.
"Sorry JT for that little outburst." Mr. Anderson said.
"May I be excused?" I asked.
"Sure here's a pass." He said as he signed the note.
I took it as I walked out of the room. Where to go when you feel like crying? I went to the guidance counselor's office. Ms. Brown or Sarah as she liked us to call her when we were alone was a great person and she had told me when I needed a place to weather out a storm I was welcome there.
"Hi Sarah mind if I come in?" I asked
"Sure come on in," She replied. "Are you okay JT?"
"I just need to `weather out a storm' I guess." I said with a sad smile.
"Want to talk about it?"
I just shook my head and sat down on a sofa. The guidance office was one of the nicest rooms in the whole school, it didn't look like an office even though she did have a desk and file cabinets and things in it. It was set up more like a family room there were a couple of sofas and some chairs and entertainment center with a TV, VCR and stereo. It was very comfortable and didn't feel like you were in school. I had asked her about it and she said she wanted us to feel at home and that if we needed to talk this would help us feel more comfortable.
"JT," she asked when the bell rang, "would you prefer to stay here for a while? You have a study hall this period don't you?"
"Yes and yes." I replied.
"Okay I'll fix it so you can." She said as she picked up her telephone.
"Thanks."
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" She asked after talking to the office.
"Yeah I'm sure."
"What Frank said..."
"I said I don't want to talk about it." I interrupted my temper breaking through just a little.
"Okay." She said then went back to her paper work.
I pulled some homework out and did that for the rest of the period, all you could hear was the soft scratching of pens against paper. About five minutes before the bell rang I put my stuff back into my backpack and stood up.
"Umm Sarah." she looked up at me. "I'm sorry about almost losing my temper... I just needed to think for a while."
"It's okay JT... sometimes I have to nag a little to get you to open up, but I understand when you don't want to talk too."
"Thanks for letting me stay here. I'm not looking forward to lunch."
"Anytime JT and if anything happens you get a teacher."
I nodded my head and made my way to lunch. Being totally not hungry I stopped and got a can of soda and a candy bar from the vending machines and made my way to my usual table. It felt like every eye was on me again, but I was probably just being paranoid. Jason and Lorri looked up at me and smiled.
"Nice that you two could quit looking at each other for a few minutes and smile at me." I teased.
"We heard about history class." Jason said. "You okay JT?"
"Yeah I'm fine, just another pot hole on the highway of life I guess." I replied. "So what new and exciting things have you two been up too... wait don't answer that I don't want to know."
Jason started to laugh and Lorri turned a lovely shade of red. We sat and talked about the usual bullshit and ate our lunch.
"Ummm JT can we talk?" Scott interrupted our conversation.
"Did you hear something Jason?" I inquired.
"JT I want to talk to you." Scott continued.
"Why? You made it pretty clear yesterday you didn't want to talk yesterday when you told me to leave you the fuck alone."
He just stood there.
"Listen Scott this whole school is filled with bigots." I waved my arm around the lunchroom. "Go find any of them to talk with, you and they will get along great, small minds should stay together."
"JT please can we talk," Looking at Jason and Lorri he added "Alone."
"No."
"Just hear me out then if you don't want to talk fine I won't bother you again."
"Okay after school," I replied. "Wait can't be after school I promised Jason I would help him with his truck."
"That's okay JT." Jason said. "Lorri can give me a ride home and we can umm... study some more."
"Okay after school then." I said coldly.
"Thanks JT."
He looked like he didn't quite know what to do next and I didn't help him out by continuing my conversation with Jason and completely ignoring him. After he walked away Lorri kicked me and said, "JT what is with you?"
"Ouch that hurt." I said rubbing my shin. "What do you mean?"
"He was trying to be nice maybe even be friends and you just treated him like crap."
"Me? He's the bigot... he's the one that told me to leave him alone."
"Your treating him like too many of the kids here are treating you... you are judging him without ever really trying to get to know him.:" She said angrily. "C'mon Jason I don't want to sit here right now."
She got up and walked away while Jason looked at me, shrugged his shoulders and followed her. Jesus what is with her I wondered... was I treating him like they treat me? He's the one that showed his true colors yesterday after he heard I was gay... screw him screw all of them.
I scowled through the rest of my classes and everyone left me alone. I think Sarah had had a talk with the other teachers so they even treated me with kid gloves that afternoon. After the last bell I got my stuff out of my locker and waited inside the front doors for Scott.
"Hi JT I wondered if you would be here." Scott said.
"Well one thing you can count on is that when I say I will do something I will do it. So what did you want to tell me?"
"Ummm can we go someplace more private."
I looked at him sizing him up and decided I could probably handle him if he tried to beat me up and said. "Yeah I guess follow me."
He nodded his head and followed me out of the school.
We got out to the parking lot and I walked over to my Ford Ranger and said, "Hop in."
"Wow is this yours?" He asked.
"Well mine and the bank's." I grinned then got sad and said, "I just got it to replace the truck that was vandalized in this parking lot last September."
He looked at me questioningly and I just shrugged my shoulders.
"My folks are gone today, you mind if we go out to my place?" I said.
He nodded his head. We drove silently the few minutes it took to drive four miles out of town to our ranch. I pulled into the drive and we went into the house and down to the basement.
"Is this all your room?" Scott asked.
"No this is the family room my room is through that door." I said pointing with my finger. "You want a soda or something?"
"Sure I'll have a Coke."
"Okay I know we have that," I said as I walked into the kitchenette and grabbed two Cokes from the refrigerator.
I handed him the can of Coke then we sat down on the couch and facing each other. "Now what is it you had to tell me? But be warned I won't put up with any homophobic shit."
"JT I'm not homophobic... far from it actually. JT I'm gay."
I dropped my can of coke and spilled it all over my lap. I grabbed some tissues from the end table and busily tried to wipe up the mess. "Don't tease me Scott."
"No seriously I am. When I ran out of lunch yesterday it was... well it was because Jason said you were rednecks... the rednecks in the last public school I went to made my life hell. I just freaked."
"Oh God... I feel like such an idiot. When you told me to leave you alone I figured one of the bigots had told you about me. I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with me because I am gay." I said, "I'm sorry Lorri was right I was treating you like most of the other kids are treating me."
"JT after what Frank said in history I heard lot of rumors, but they didn't make a lot of sense. Can you or will you tell me what happened?"
"Umm well I can try." I replied, "but first let me change out of these jeans that coke has soaked through. You can find some tunes for the stereo or something."
I stripped out of my jeans and boots and slipped on a pair of sweat pants and some shearling slippers then decided to put a sweat shirt on too. When I came back out into the family room Scott hadn't turned on the stereo, but was instead looking at the framed charcoal and ink drawings that Jimmy had made. I went to the stereo and grabbed some country, but thinking about what I was going to say put a collection of quiet piano classics on instead.
"Who is the artist JT?" Scott asked, "These are fantastic."
"Umm they were done by my boyfriend Jimmy." I replied quietly.
"Do you want to tell me? You don't have to."
"No I would just as soon you knew the truth rather than whatever garbage is being said now." I said then proceeded to tell him about what had happened to me. It wasn't easy to tell and I broke down and wept a few times, but Scott was so kind and helpful. When I started to cry he held me and whispered soothing sounds in my ear. Finally after what felt like months I finished telling him about it.
"I do have a question though, what happened to the four guys that beat you up?" He asked.
"Well Kevin Murray since he was a minor and turned states evidence is in reform school he should get out when he's 18." I replied. "The other three are out on bond awaiting trial. They know if they come within 1000 feet of me they will go back to jail. Sandy, Jason's mom, thinks they will likely end up in prison at least for a while. I don't want that to happen, they were wrong to try and kill me, but I don't want this to follow them around for the rest of their lives. Their lives are already in shambles because of it Troy and Bob Sanford won't be going to college to play football and Brad Johnson isn't going into the army either. They are paying for what they did that should be enough."
"You have forgiven them?"
"No, I doubt if I will ever forgive them. I'm glad that Kevin is in reform school and I'm glad that the other three have a restraining order out on them. At first I was just afraid of them, now I am afraid of myself. If I had the chance I am afraid of what I would do to them."
We lapsed into silence and I could feel a chill in the room. I picked up a remote control and lit the gas fireplace. Scott kind of jumped at that.
"Sorry bud, just started to feel cold." I said.
"No, no That's okay... the fire is nice." He said. "I guess I can tell you about me."
"You don't have to Scott. I know how hard it can be to talk about things."
"No I want to tell you, you trusted me the least I can do is trust you. Well I don't know quite how to say this... it started when I was fourteen I guess. I was staying over night with a friend and after his folks went to bed Jake, my friend, got out some dirty magazines. Well one thing led to another and pretty soon Jake had his cock out and was playing with it, he got me to pull mine out and we were just jacking off. He was looking at the magazine and I was looking at him. After a few minutes he said it sure would be nice if he didn't have to do it himself so we got closer and I was jacking him and he was jacking me. Here is where I got stupid... I don't know why I did it, but I leaned over and started to suck on him. We maneuvered ourselves into a sixty-nine and he sucked on me... it was awesome. After we came we went to sleep, we were in the same bed and through the night some how I put my arms around him. When I woke up I was hard and had my dick in the crack of his butt and was humping away. He woke up and called me a fag, slapped me and told me to leave.
I was really scared, but I hoped he wouldn't say anything to anyone after all he had sucked me off too. That was on Saturday, Sunday afternoon I went to see him and he would barely talk to me. I asked him not to say anything to anyone about what we did and I would be quiet too, but he said he didn't do anything it was all me. As it turned out he had already told one of his friends that I had tried to butt fuck him and that I was queer, I didn't find that out until later though.
Monday at school everyone knew and I got pushed around a lot... no one really beat me up just pushed me and called me names and I thought as long as that was all they did I could handle it. But that was just the beginning... maybe it was because I was in middle school.
One day during my freshman year I was walking home and a group of the other high school kids cornered me and threw me into one of their trucks... they were all shit-kickers listened to country music and wore western clothing. They took me out into the country away from everything and started to beat me up... then." He broke off as he lapsed into tears.
"Shh it's okay," I said as I put my arms around him, "You don't have to tell me."
"No JT I want to..." He broke up as he tried to sniffle the tears away, "It's just that this is so hard."
"Take a break.. it's okay I understand."
"No... anyway they beat me up for a while I really don't remember a lot of it. I was hurting so bad. Then one guy said `hey he's a fag let's break him in.' and I knew I was in trouble. There were eight of them and they tore my pants and underwear off of me and then they... they took turns raping me."
At that point he completely broke down and I didn't know what to say. I just put my arms around him and held him. I don't know how long we sat there holding each other crying, but eventually I could feel him settle down. I reached over to the box of tissues on the end table and we blew our noses and dried our eyes.
"God I am so sorry, I don't know what to say." I said.
"Wait I want to finish this... I need you to know what happened." He replied. "Afterwards they brought me back to just outside of town and dropped me off in a parking lot.. it was dark by then. I tried to walk, tried to stand, but just couldn't move, everything hurt. I curled up in a ball and waited to bleed to death. The next thing I knew was when a police car pulled up and an officer shined his flashlight on me.
I heard the cop mutter, "Ah sweet Jesus." Then he bent down to see if I was alive I blinked at him through my tears and he called for an ambulance. I don't really remember much after that, but this is what I was told.
When they got there I was holding onto his hand and I wouldn't let go. When he pushed my hand off of his I started to scream. He had to ride in the ambulance with me to the hospital. I had my student ID in my wallet and they called my folks. They had to sedate me because every time the cop, George Morgan, let go of my hand I would start screaming again.
I was kept on drugs for a long time... they said the rape had affected my mind and I just closed down. Eventually I came out of it... still don't know what brought me back. I was out of school for three months and when I did go back it Dad put me in a private school.
During therapy I told the doctor what happened, well at least what I could remember and she set it up so that I told my folks why I had been attacked in a session. Dad took it pretty good, but mom... well she couldn't handle it. She got up and walked out of that session and I haven't seen or heard of her since.
When Jason said that about you being rednecks I freaked... all I could think about was that it was going to happen to me again. When I met you yesterday morning my gaydar went off big time then hearing that I just got scared."
"Scott I don't know what to say I really don't." I said helplessly. "This cowboy stuff... well it is how I was raised. I love being around horses and cattle and riding and roping are second nature to me... sometimes I feel more at home in the saddle than I do anyplace else... and some guys are bigots.. well a lot of them are, but have found some people who accept me too."
"So where do we go from here?" I asked.
"I don't know.. I.. I really like you JT," He stumbled, "But I'm scared too. I have been around some gay kids, went to a youth group, but I have never had a boyfriend."
"Do you umm want to be my boyfriend?"
"Uh JT I don't know what I want. You are so nice and stuff, but I well since I was... well since what happened I haven't been able to get close to anyone."
"Then why don't we take this slow." I said. "Friends first and I can tell you I need a friend. I got Jason and Dallas and Denver, but as much as they want to help they don't understand me."
"Kewl friends first." He replied flashing that smile that made me want to melt. "What do we do now?"
"How about a movie?"
"Sure what do you have?"
"Umm I have one that mom read about online and ordered for me... it's English so it's kind of hard to understand, but it is a great flic. Beautiful Thing is the name of it."
"Awesome I have wanted to see that one for a while now."
I put some popcorn in the microwave and got the VCR ready then got us each another soda and we sat down on the couch to watch the movie. The basement had cooled down and about halfway through the movie I got a blanket for us. Scott slid over next to me and I pulled the blanket over us and put my arm around him. He settled into my chest and we watched Jamie and Ste fall in love. I felt something that I hadn't felt in a long time, I felt that my life was whole again, not since before I had been bashed when i had been with Jimmy had my life felt whole. I don't know when, but sometime during the movie we fell asleep.
"JT, dinner is ready." Mom said. "Oh excuse me who is your friend?"
"Huh? What?" I said groggily.
"Dinner is ready JT," She said with a smile. "and who is your friend?"
That's when I noticed that Scott was softly snoring on my shoulder... he had drooled a little in his sleep and my sweatshirt had a wet spot on it. I looked up at mom and blushed.
"Scott wake up." I said as I gently shook him.
"Umm hi JT." he said sleepily looking up at me with those dreamy brown eyes. "I guess I fell asleep. You make a good pillow."
At that I blushed even deeper. "Scott this is my mom."
Then it was my turn to watch Scott blush. "Oh hi Mrs. Clark."
"Call me Sarah." Mom smiled. "You must be the reason JT was so upset yesterday."
"Mom." I protested.
"I must be embarrassing you again." She grinned. "Scott are you staying for dinner?"
"What time is it?" Scott asked.
"Almost seven." She replied.
"Shit Dad is going to be worried." Scott said, then thinking of what he had said a look of horror crossed his face. "Sorry Mrs. Clark."
"I told you to call me Sarah," She said with a smile, "and believe me I have heard the word before. But you better call your dad."
I showed him the phone and waited while he called his dad.
"Hi dad sorry I didn't call...... yeah I know.... dad...." He looked at me and rolled his eyes. "yeah.... I said I'm sorry..... well I made a friend today and we are at his house and we fell asleep watching a movie.... yeah I know..... any way can I stay for dinner... no his mom invited me.... I'll ask.
"Mrs..... Sarah are you sure it isn't any trouble?"
Mom nodded her head.
"She says it isn't any trouble... okay I'll be home by ten.... yes sir... " He glanced at me and blushed as he said, "I love you too dad."
"He said I can stay but I have to be home by ten."
"Kewl." I replied.
"Well you two get cleaned up for dinner... your dad is waiting for us."
"We'll be right up... what are we having?" I asked.
"Nothing special, just my home made beef vegetable soup with dumplings."
"Great my favorite." I smiled, "You'll love it Scott it's awesome."
We went to dinner and as we ate my parents interrogated him. Why is it that parents always do that when you bring a new friend for a meal? After we finished we went back to the family room.
"So those are your parents eh?" Scott said.
"Yeah dear old mom and dad." I grinned, "I gotta admit though the have really been there for me through everything."
"Yeah I wish I could say the same." Scott said sadly.
"Aww Scott, I'm sorry bud I didn't think..."
"No it isn't you it was her choice. She's the one that left."
I saw a tear come to his eye.
"Can I have a hug JT?"
"You don't have to ask," I said as I pulled him into my arms. "Never need to ask just do it."
"Thanks man... I don't know what came over me... I haven't cried about her for a long time." He said breaking our embrace. "Maybe it was seeing the easy relationship you have with your parents. They don't treat you like a kid... when your dad was talking about buying those cows you talked like you were equals.... he wanted your advice."
"Yes, but the ranch is different we work as partners on it."
"Not just that... they really value your opinion. I get that from my father sometimes, not all the time. You just seemed so natural around them... even before I came out I never felt that way."
"Well umm I guess."
"I'm making you uncomfortable huh?"
"I guess I just haven't ever really thought about it. They're my parents they do what they are supposed to do. I know they are good parents... all I need to do is think about Jimmy's to know that. So we better get you back home, don't want you in trouble with your dad." I said changing the subject. "Let me change into something a little more presentable."
"Oh dad doesn't care, you're fine in sweats."
"Okay, if you say so."
"Mom I'm taking Scott into town."
"Okay hun drive careful and watch out for deer."
We made our way back to town and Scott gave me directions to his house.
"Oh I know this place the Belmonts used to live here."
"Come on in dad will want to meet you." Scott said as I stopped to let him out. "Dad I'm home."
"About time you get home you know better than to not call." A voice said from another room.
We walked into the living room and there sat a carbon copy of Scott, `Damn if that is what Scott looks like in twenty years I got to pursue this.' I thought.
"Dad this is JT Clark, JT this is my dad Dominic Milano."
"Pleased to meet you Mr. Milano" I said extending my right hand.
"Call me Dom," He said getting to his feet and shaking my hand. He was about the same height as Scott and only slightly heavier.
"Okay Dom." I smiled.
"So tell me about yourself."
"Well I'm 16 almost 17 and Scott and I are in the same class."
"Is that all?"
"What more do you want to know?" I said and then answered 20 questions. Finally I said "I'm sorry Dom, but I really have to be going."
"Oh yeah it is getting late. Nice to meet you JT."
Scott walked with me to the front door and we stood there shuffling from foot to foot neither of us wanting to leave.
"Well I guess I should be going." I said.
"Yeah I suppose... uh JT."
"Yeah?"
"Can I have another hug?" He asked shyly.
"I told you, you never need to ask." I said as embraced him. He felt good in my arms and he smelled great. Earlier when I had hugged him or when he had hugged me it was about comforting the other person this one was different this was about savoring another boys embrace. He tipped his head back and I was drawn to his lips. I bent my head and placed my lips on his, I felt his tongue slipping across my lips so I parted them and allowed his tongue access and let mine play tag with his. In those silly romance novels that my mom reads you always see passages of how they see fireworks when they kiss... I always put that down as so much bullshit until that moment. I saw skyrockets and shooting stars. My hands snaked down to his butt and I pulled his crotch into my own. I could feel his hardness as I am sure he could feel mine.
"Ahem." Dom cleared his throat.
We broke apart almost violently.
"Scott is there something you neglected to tell me?" He asked.
"Dad ummm JT's my boyfriend." Scott blushed.
"Now I really am pleased to meet you JT." He said with a huge smile on his face. "I was afraid of what moving here would do to Scott, but this makes me feel better. Well I'll let you get on with... umm well... good night."
"Boyfriend?" I asked.
"Well you do want to be my boyfriend don't you?"
"I would love to be your boy friend." I smiled.
"G'night JT."
"Night babe." I said as I bent and placed a chaste kiss on his sweet lips.