Disclaimer:
This is a story about male homosexuality. The story depicts sexual acts between two mature adults. If you are perturbed or offended by such material please do not read. Most of my stories deal with gay emotions and problems. Again if you are offended please leave now. This is a stroy of fiction and all names appearing in this story are fictional.
You can email me your views at akannan50@hotmail.com
Title : Be What You Are
The rains lashed with full fury outside our apartment house. The beach was just across our apartment and I could see the huge tides rising. I looked at the dark skies above. If they were of any indication , we were going to have more rough weather.
I looked at the time again. It was almost six in the evening , and Chris was not back home. Damn it ! I thought... Why did I love this guy so much ?
It was so unusual of him to be so late. It must be the storm, I thought. He must be held up somewhere. But then why did he not call with his mobile? I was just crazy too about him.
I first met Chris at an ice hockey game. I had gone there with my best friend Susan and he was sitting just next to me. Man he was so cute. I guessed he must have been around 22 and I just could not stop looking into his eyes. I knew I had fallen in love with him then.
Desperate to start conversation with him, I asked him " So how is the game?"
"What ??" Chris uttered back looking at me . I could see the beam in his eyes too as he looked at me. From those looks I could figure out that he was gay .
"Are you enjoying the game ?? " I asked him again.
"Ya pretty much. .. I am Chris.." he introduced himself , still not taking his eyes off me. I knew then he was thinking the same stuff that I was thinking off...
I introduced myself and Susan to him. I could say from his looks that he was dissapointed. He obviously thought Susan to be my girlfriend. I wondered how he would react if he knew I was gay.
We kept talking about the game and I kind of realized that there was a some kind of connection between us. I wished Susan had not been around.
As the game ended I invited Chris to my apartment. He first hesitated because of Susan but I told him she had come in her own car. That must have given him some hint.
So we drove to our apartment and talked about all kind of things. We had a lot in common and I knew then that I had to make my move.
"So Chris you have any girl friends ? " I asked him
"I don't know how you would react - " Chris paused , "But I am gay..."
"I guessed.." I told him back, " I could see that from the look into your eyes when you saw Susan. You like me don't you ?"
Chris was speechless. Looking at him I knew he was the one. I just grabbed him and kissed him deeply. He kissed me back and from that time there has been no looking back. It was like we were made for each other.
That evening I called up Susan. I thanked her for inviting me for the ice hockey game. And she was happy for me..
I dated Chris for about six months and then we moved into this apartment in South Carolina a couple of months back.
Man, the rains were still not showing any signs of abating. I was so worried about Chris.
Then the door bell rang. ...
I ran to the door and I was greeted by Chris with that smile of his. That smile of his made my heart thump. I knew I just had to drag him to the bed.
"Now where have you been so long. I was getting worried " I asked.
"It's the fucking rain man. And I left my fucking mobile at work, or I would have called " he replied.
I went up and made two glasses of Vodka and gave him one. Chris just gulped it .
He then pulled me towards him and gave me a deep kiss. I kissed him back, exploring his tongue and running my hand over his butt.
We kissed like that for sometime , lost in each other. By then both of us were having a real hard on and it was time to hit the bed. I dragged Chris to our bedroom and pushed him down to the bed.
There he was - lying on the bed . I looked at him . I really loved this guy, and I knew he loved me the same way. There was no one else on the earth who could make love to me like Chris did. It was like we were made for each other.
I jumped on to the bed , by his side. I ran my hands over his shirt, slowly unbuttoning them. Getting rid of the shirt I gently ran my fingers over his hairy chest. I pinched his nipples and kissed them gently.
Chris moaned. I kind of knew all his 'pleasure points' and I worked all over his chest and his back, my tongue exploring his soft flesh. We kissed again, our tongues exploring each other . We were lying side by side, embracing each other , lost in each other.
I moved downwards to Chris's pants. I unzipped his fly, and dragged his pant down. I could see the naughty look on Chris's face . I could see his huge bulge underneath his undies. I gently kissed his undies and pulled them down with my teeth. And there it was, his huge throbbing meat waiting to be sucked.
Wasting no time I got down to action. I first licked his hairy balls and then moved my way up . I moved my tongue upward to his dick, gently licking it from the sides. As I licked his throbbing dick small amounts of pre-cum oozed out of his dick. I licked them up greedily as I continued to please his dick.
Chris could bare the excitement no more. He pushed my head right into his cock, asking me to suck it real hard. Chris kept pushing his dick further into my mouth till it was fully in.
"Oh ya! Suck harder !!" Chris moaned. I continued to suck his man meat . I looked at his face and I could see that he was enjoying every moment of it.
He continued to fuck my mouth pushing his dick in and out.
Within seconds he cummed, shooting his load in my mouth. I took my lover's cum in my mouth, sucking it real dry, not leaving a drop of his love juice.
By this time my dick was fucking hard. It was Chris's turn to explore now.
He pushed me down to the bed and kissed me deep, tasting his own cum. He stripped me naked and worked his way exploring my body. Chris too knew all my pleasure points like I knew his..Man, I loved this guy. He knew how to make love. I had been with guys before Chris, but it was nothing like this.
Chris continued to lick my chest with his tongue as I continued to enjoy every bit of it. He gradually moved down and pulled down my shorts. He stroked my dick with his beautiful hands as I moaned .
Wasting no time he took my dick in his mouth. He caressed it gently with his mouth and started to suck it real hard. He was one good damn cock sucker .
I could hardly control my ectasy. Here I was with my lover, and there was nothing more wonderful in the world than Chris. I cummed in my lover's mouth as he readily swallowed every bit of it.
We kissed each other again, lying side by side embracing each other. I felt like I was in heaven. It was like I wanted nothing else from this world than Chris to make love to me and be with me always.
" I love you Chris. Never leave me" I said
"Do not even think that way you asshole. We are made for each other" Chris replied.
We kissed again. I could hear the thunder outside . I did not care. All that mattered was Chris by my side. Nothing else really mattered.
That night we lay naked side by side, in each other's arms.
Life was never better. Things were great at work. And every night I had my lover to make love and care for me. We made endless nights making love and I did not even know how an year passed by. It was like the happiest days of my life.
But as time passed I felt that Chris was gradually like moving away. It was not obvious, but I could kind of guess it from the way he would make love. It was not like old times.
Was he getting bored of me? Was he seeing someone else? Was I not satisfying him sexually?
A thousound thoughts used to race my mind, but I prefered not to talk about it. Maybe I was wrong. I should not hurt his feelings by saying something unless I was sure.
And then one night my worst fears came true.
We were in bed after having sex.
Chris looked into my eyes and from that look I knew something bad was coming. With his hands gently massaging my chest he said " I have something to say..."
I pushed his hands gently from my chest.
"So there is a third person isn't it " I was almost sure. I could like read his mind.
"It's not like what you think...." Chris uttered
"So what is it Chris. I know there is something you have been hiding from me. "
" First this is not your fault. Do not blame yourself for this. And you know I love you so much. And I will continue loving you no matter what"
Now this was getting weird. I just could not take it anymore.
"So what then is the problem Chris ?" I questioned him.
" It's my parents...they wanna get me married to Kathy" he whsipered.
"What ? Kathy? Are you out of your mind? " I told Chris , " You are crazy. You are not going to listen to them . Chris you have not dated a single girl in your life and you are gay. And how could you think of even leaving me ?? "
I could tell from Chris looks that he was going to leave me. I felt like I was going down that roller coaster with my hopes going down along with it.
" I am sorry man. I have no choice. But no matter what I will never stop loving you "
Bullshit I thought. Chris did not understand love. And I thought I had known him all the time. Here he was going to ruin Kathy's life, mine, along with his own. We were so happy together, why would he not listen?
"You know what " Chris continued , " You also should get married to some woman"
"What ??"
" Let's face it man. You gotta get old, so am I. Ever thought how it is without kids, without a family? No support from society, no kids..."
"Bullshit" I said , "Fuck the society. I thought we were a family. We could have adopted kids . C mon Chris don't do this. You will never be happy. And you know how much I love you .."
" I am sorry but I have to do this. Believe me , it's best for us. We have to make choices in our life". Chris uttered.
Well his family had brain washed him I thought. I don't know what fucking society he was talking about.
I yelled back , " Chris what society are you talking about? Why do you care about them? I love you and you love me nothing else matters. Ever thought about the fact that you gonna go and spoil someone else life by getting married. How will you love her Chris - you are gay!"
"I will change. I am gonna try to change myself. That's the right way..this is all wrong. Please, don't make this difficult for me. And you will realize it soon..." Chris uttered with tears in his eyes , " And you will realize it soon.... get married man..have kids...have people around you "
I could not say a word. I knew he would not go back. He had gone nuts.
Chris spoke for the last time, "My wedding next week. I will send you the invitation" . With this he kissed me for one last time and got up from the bed. I got to see his naked body one last time before he got dressed.
Within minutes I heard him pack.
He said these last words before he left " This is not easy for me man, you know I love you. But we have to move on..the way we live looks good on books but in reality - it will never work. Sooner or later you will realize that. " . With that he kissed me one last time and left me there all alone in the middle of the night.
I could not believe he was gone Where had I gone wrong I thought. I thought I loved him and cared for him in every possible way. Why could he not be just what he was? Gay.
I thought he would be by my side all life, all night . I just could not believe that he walked out of my life. I tried to control my emotions, but then came all those big tears as I broke from within. I looked at my side of the bed. He was gone. Gone forever...
The next week Chris got married to Kathy. I never went for his wedding . That night I kept thinking about Chris. I figured out he would never enjoy sex with Kathy. No one else in the damn world could make love to him as I did...
He used to call me after getting married but I asked him not to as I needed to get him off my mind. Futile attempt though...
A year after Chris got married I am still alone in this apartment. I dated some guys but they were not like Chris. I still could not get him off my mind. I wondered whether he still loved me..well I never bothered to find out.
That fall I moved over to Minnesota. Far away from Chris . I badly needed to move away from the apartment which was filled with the memories we had together. But all that hardly mattered. As if miles of distance could get Chris off my mind..
I don't know whether Chris was right or wrong. And I don't care. All that I know is I am gonna be what I am. No matter what.
******************************************************************************* If you liked the story you can email me akannan50@hotmail.com