Once upon a time in a far off land the elderly king had but one son who was betrothed to a lovely princess. But alas, the lad had fallen into a swoon from which no court physicians could awaken him. And so the king sent forth messengers throughout the land to announce that the king would grant half his kingdom to the person who could awaken the prince from his stupor before the next annual Blood Lust Festival, the very day the wedding was to have taken place. But lest the palace be beset by charlatans and cranks, the king also ordained that anyone who tried and failed within five minutes would be drawn and quartered at that same Festival.
Wise men came from near and far and tried to awaken the slumbering prince, but all to no avail. Some pinched him, others set off firecrackers, and still others dowsed him with ice water. But he slumbered on and the prisons filled with weeping charlatans and cranks.
One day a foreign traveler heard about the prince upon wandering into the kingdom, and he made his way to the palace. He was a young man, with dancing eyes and sweet smile. The long lines of those seeking to try their hands had dwindled to none, and the day of the Blood Lust Festival was drawing nigh.
Upon presenting himself at the palace gate, he drew cynical laughter from the guards, who had witnessed the failure of so many scholars and sages, but they ushered him into the palace and into the court where the king and queen sat on their thrones whilst their sleeping son lay before them.
The king raised his scepter to permit this one last effort to rouse the prince. The stranger knelt before the prince and deftly undid his codpiece. He leaned forward and drew the prince's flaccid member into his mouth and sucked mightily with much smacking of lips whiles inserting his index finger into the royal arse.
The prince awoke at once, groaning with delight. The royal couple joyously embraced their now erect son.
The king then ordered the stranger put to death for committing a naughty act and thereby (not so incidentally) retaining half his kingdom. The prince next day was wed to that lovely princess but spent the rest of his reign chasing and bedding young pages throughout the palace.
Moral: No one ever said life was fair.