Begin Anew

Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word: Begin Anew Chapter Six

Time, they say, heals all wounds. Festering sores, on the other hand, like how to tell Chris, well, let's just say it's healing abilities are well hidden there. I slept poorly that night despite being exhausted from the day's activities and was in a truly foul mood in the morning when I stumbled from the couch down the hall to the bathroom to relieve my aching bladder. When done I stared in the mirror at myself taking stock of what I saw. I looked terrible. Ugh. The door opened behind me and this strange guy gave a look of surprise and then murmured an apology as he backed out. What the fuck was this? She went to the reading of a will and brought home a date? I slammed out of the bathroom and changed my clothes in the living room. Muffled sounds escaped past the door of my mother's bedroom, and then the sounds of an argument erupted. My mother came out of her room in a twitter. "What is this racket? Why are you slamming doors? And where do you think you're going?" I glared at her and felt so much slip away from me. A child has a natural affection, a love for the parent that brought them forth, and at that moment all the affection, all the emotional attachment that I had for this person slipped into nothingness. She stood before me disheveled, lipstick still smeared on her face, robe hanging listlessly open to display a covering that, in short, didn't cover very much. "This racket is about you bringing home strange men, from the reading of someone's will yet! Do you think it would have been too much to ask for a warning that you might pick up someone from a funeral? I'm going to Chris's 'cause I can't stand the sight of you!" I screamed, my body shaking from rage and embarrassment at my own mother's behavior. She sat heavily on the chair behind her, face stricken as though she had been slapped. She stared at me as if I were some alien, a completely new creature that she had never seen before. She opened her mouth several times but she seemed to be incapable of forming words. I didn't care. There was no defense for her, and I stormed out hearing a strangled "wait!" echo in the room behind me. I walked quickly down to street level and headed down the street in a rage. I had no problem with her moving on, but she could have said something, right? She could have mentioned that she was involved so it wouldn't come as a shock, couldn't she? I walked in a seemingly aimless fashion until I found myself in front of Chris's doorway. At this my fear returned to quench my anger and left me suddenly cold and very confused. Nope, wasn't ready to do this yet. I turned on my heel to go just as the sound of the latch disengaging reached my ears. Caught. "Justin! Dude, I missed you!" Chris's voice rang out in the cool Boston morning. In a flash he was down the short stack of stairs, clad only in his boxers and a tee shirt, and had his arms around me. It felt so good, so...Pure. This was friendship. He was breaking the embrace when I suddenly returned his embrace fiercely, drawing him to me with almost enough force to drive the wind from his lungs so that he could tell how much I had missed him as well as not be able to see the few tears I couldn't stop from escaping the confines of my eyes. "Whoa, dude. You squeeze me much tighter and we'll be together forever literally!" He laughed a pure joyous sound. I began to laugh and slowly released my grip on him. He threw an arm over my shoulders and walked me into the house. The first thing that hit me was the air of desperation and depression in the house, like a real living creature embedded and intertwined with the very molecules of the building. The force of the realization stopped me in my tracks. Here and there the evidence was displayed, peeling wallpaper, holes in the plaster, grime etched into the walls themselves. Yes, indeed there was trouble. Knick-knacks missing here and there and pictures moved, no doubt to conceal holes in the walls. In fact, one picture was valiantly trying to do just that, however it was woefully inadequate to the task and left plaster and lathe showing. "Just, it's ok, man. He's gone." I looked at him. Carefully. He was about 5'10", sandy-brown hair that fell straight down over his head, small freckles danced over his petite nose and clear face. After that he got real big real quick, his football background showing through, as his shoulders were quite broad and his torso filled out with muscle. He looked a lot taller than he actually was. I hugged him again quickly and gathered myself for his mother, who could be heard descending the stairs. "Justin!" She squealed. Ever hear a grown woman squeal? Yech. "Hi, Mrs. Taylor. How are you?" "Oh, just fine, now that Mr. Wonderful is elsewhere. But look at you! You grew! And this tan, you never tanned here in Boston, honey. Oh, give us some sugar!" And so I was assaulted by shamu the killer land whale in a muumuu. "Have you had breakfast yet?" Chris enquired. My stomach rumbled loudly at the mention of sustenance. "I'll take that as a no," Chris laughed. "C'mon, I'll make us some French Toast." Mrs. Taylor disengaged herself from me and mussed my hair. I don't think it made a difference since I hadn't combed it, but old habits die-hard I guess. Chris prepared a great breakfast, and I was stuffed to the limit when finished and also felt dopey and in sore need of a nap. "Dude, you look exhausted. Did you sleep last night?" "Not much." I said around a yawn. "I have to finish showing this kid how to do my paper route. Why don't you catch a nap in my room while I do that?" I conceded that I might be better company and allowed my self to be escorted upstairs. We walked in to his normal disaster of a room and trod over the various and assorted junk scattered about. I saw his bed and stopped suddenly, now alert with fear about what I had to say. "Chris, can I talk to you before you have to go?" "Sure, man, although you know we'll have lots of time to talk later." "I know, but you need to know this, and it's hard for me to say," I stammered. "Ok, Just," he said quietly, sitting on the edge of his bed. I took a seat opposite him on the orange ottoman he had collected from my house before we moved. It was so large you could curl up on it if you wanted to, but it matched absolutely nothing. Anywhere. He took my hands in his, and I looked up into his face. His eyes were glistening and bright as if with tears unshed. "Chris, I haven't been very happy in a long, long time. In fact, I don't think I ever have been truly happy," I began. His hands gripped mine and held them firmly, wrapped, as they were around my own. "I have always felt an emptiness inside me, someplace that couldn't be touched by anyone. It made me so.....So sad, and I always felt alone, even with people I loved and cared deeply for. I have never been able to express how I felt inside to anyone. And now I have to tell you before I'm really ready to." I looked away from his eyes and felt his gaze on me, his thumbs slowly moving and gripping my hands. "Chris, you know I never had any luck with girls, and to be honest.... That isn't what I want. I.... Am.....Gay." My face flushed and I felt suddenly more vulnerable than I ever remembered feeling before in my life. Surprise was the next emotion because I felt myself enveloped in strong arms, held cheek to cheek, bum on my lap, and the soft words in my ear: "It's ok. You're still Justin and that's all I want anyway." He pulled his head back but held the embrace, looking me in the eye. "As long as you're happy that's all that matters to me. I'm really proud of you. If I had to say something like that......I don't know if I could do it," he said simply. And just like that it was over. I wasn't sure how to react, so I mumbled. "Well, I just thought you should know. But there is more." "There is?" He said getting off my lap and breaking the embrace softly to resume his seat on his bed. "You mean, I get to meet your boyfriend when we get back?" I blushed furiously at his cavalier comments. "No, not really. See, I liked this guy, Kyle, when I got there and so I dropped a message in his locker - I felt like it was the only way I could say what I wanted to say and not face him. Well, it blew up in my face 'cause he found out, but he was cool about it. I was amazed that he still wanted to be my friend. But he did so. Anyway, he has Epilepsy and he had a really bad seizure and had to go to the hospital. Right? So he asked me to play in this league basketball game as a sub for him 'cause he was laid up, you know? Only he wanted me to go so I could meet some of his friends and stuff, one in particular." I sighed a bit here. "So you saw someone you liked?" Chris asked. "Yeah, he is so... well, you don't want that I'm sure. He's easy on the eyes, let's just say that, shall we? So I played hoops with them and that's where I also met this guy Cris, spelled C-R-I-S, and towards the end of the game this guy on the other team took a real cheap shot at me, and Cris laid him out big time." "Yes! I like him already!" Chris said. "Anyway, when I went to bed that night, I could swear I heard someone singing outside my window, and I would swear it was Casey, the dude I liked from the team. So when Kyle invited me to this welcome home party for him getting out of the hospital, I was hoping to talk to Case again - you know, get to know him." "Uh huh," Chris nodded knowingly. I continued, "And the way Kyle was talking, I thought maybe I had a chance, 'cause he seemed to think that Case liked me too, like he knew something I didn't. In fact, Casey beat me to the hospital and asked for my number from Kyle. But when I was at the party, I saw him kissing this girl, and I just lost it. I had built up my hopes so much, and it hurt so bad to see them just go up in flames, you know? I mean, I did it to myself, but...Anyway, I left the party and went home. "I was so upset I forgot to tell Kyle I was going here and why. So when he showed up at my window later, I was happy to see him - until I saw Cris in tow. Then Kyle got pissed 'cause I was having shit go down in my life. You know, he was mad 'cause I didn't tell him and give him the opportunity to be there for me 'cause I was upset about you and having to come to stay with my mom and stuff. So he got pissed and told me I would've remembered if I weren't so busy looking at Casey all the time, so he ended up spilling the beans to Cris, and then left. I was so scared, Cris is pretty strong, like you, and I'm sure he could kick my ass. He asked me if I was...queer. And then he left, too." I looked up with tears in my eyes, noting that Chris had taken my hands again. "Chris, when I get back everyone will know, and I'll be alone as I was when I lived here. Even worse, Casey will know and he, well, not like he's gay anyway, but if I ever did have a chance, I lost it 'cause no one is going to out themselves in high school. It's too dangerous." Chris seemed to be deep in thought and finally sighed and said simply, " We'll just have to deal with it when we get there. No use worrying now." Tears began to flow in earnest from me. "You mean you still want to be there with me?" I asked unbelieving. "Of course I do, you're my best friend. I wouldn't just drop you." He giggled, " At least I never have to worry about you making a move on my girlfriend!" He fell back on his bed howling in laughter. I stared for a moment, unbelieving, then attacked! Chris is quite ticklish, you see, and I know just where. In seconds I had him breathless mouthing "can't breathe" and begging for me to let him up. I did finally and he sat, catching his breath. " I have to go, seriously, but nap and I'll see you later," he said, giving me a quick hug and a wave as he went out the bedroom door. I heard him in the laundry room, which was next to his room getting something from the dryer and then the front door closing. I lay back and marveled at how I had worried for nothing. I smiled as I drifted off to a peaceful dreamless sleep.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ "Casey Mitchell Fremont! I am sick and tired of telling you to get this trash out. Now you better hop to it, mister, if you know what's good for you!" "Sorry, mom, I'm coming down right now!" Casey sighed heavily. He hadn't been able to catch up with Kyle, Justin wasn't in school today for some reason, and there was no answer at his house. All day he had been in anticipation, wanting to know what happened Sunday night, hoping Justin would come up to the lake for the weekend and wondering if he should invite everyone just so he wouldn't look obvious or anything. All this wondering and worrying had gotten him into several tough spots today, not least of which was repeatedly forgetting to take out the trash. He pulled on his sneakers and trundled down to do his remaining chore, and no sooner was he out the door when the bag broke. Damn! Was anything going to go right today? He returned sullenly to the kitchen and removed a bag from under the sink. Dejectedly he set about the task of recovering the escaped and renegade trash. The jailbreak having been halted he dropped the trash into the bin and headed back inside to mope some more. "Oh, here he is, Kyle, hold on, honey - Oh, are you and the boys coming to the lake this weekend? It's a long weekend, you know, and you guys usually come with us for those. Casey hasn't asked? Well, you'd better talk to him, he's been gloomy all day!" Casey took the phone with a frown. "Mom, do you have to tell everyone? I am allowed to be unhappy sometimes, aren't I?" "Not in my presence, dear," she said with mock sweetness and kissed him on the forehead. Casey couldn't help but smile. "Kyle, what's up, dude?" "Not much, Case. I was looking for you in school today - did you go?" "Yeah, funny that, I was looking for you, too." "Really?" Kyle sighed heavily; "You aren't going to hit on me again are you?" Casey laughed, "Come onto you? Give me a break, even if I was gay I'd have better taste than to date you!" Why were these guys always making those kinds of cracks? Did they suspect? "So, dude, I have a question. Who was the chick you brought over on Sunday, the one you were doing tongue calisthenics with." "Um, why?" "Well, I've never seen her. You never said you were dating, at least not to me, so I'm curious, bud, who's the one that's stolen your heart?" Oh, shit! Truth or consequences? Or better said - truth and Consequences! "Well, she goes to Tahoe High, she's my age, name is Julie Fre.....Meyer, Julie Freemeyer." "Oh," came a disappointed voice, "So how long you guys been dating?" "On and off for a few years. Now it's my turn, what happened on Sunday? Why'd Justin take off like that?" Oh no, was there too much eagerness in his voice? Should he really care enough to ask about this? Was this still considered curiosity? "Oh, that? He was flying back to Boston this morning for a funeral, and I guess a buddy of his is having problems with his dad and is going to live with him for a while, and he gets nervous when he flies. So we all invited for the weekend?" "What? Oh hell yeah! You, Grant, Cris, and Blair. Do you think Justin would go?" Oh, Casey wondered if he was sounding too excited about that prospect? "I dunno. I can ask when I see him, ok?" "Sure! That'd be great! Perfect!" "Case, you ok? You seem nervous or something." "Me? No, you must be, ah, imagining things." In truth he was feeling pretty giddy, and that was both puzzling and, well, stimulating if you know what I mean, and I think you do. "Ok, well, then see you tomorrow?" "You bet! Bye!" "Bye." Casey was a mass of nerves. Justin might be here this weekend! It wasn't even for sure but the anticipation was killing him! He raced for his room and grabbed his phone while closing his door and quickly dialed Julie's number. "Hello?" "Jules, It's me. Justin might be up here this weekend!" "Hey, is that what are you so excited about?" She asked. "That's just it, I'm not sure!" "Case, that makes, like, no sense." "I know, but. Jule, this is hard. I have been struggling for so long and I just keep telling myself that it's nothing, but...." "So, ah, unless I miss my mark, my days of helping you to keep your options open are done, huh?" She smiled. "What? No! No, no, no. I just, well, I never found the girl I wanted to date, you know, and they can be so...clingy and false. So many of them just wanted to be able to go to the lake and stuff, never for me." She sighed heavily. "Cous, I hate to do this to you, but someone has to since you think you can fool yourself." "What do you mean?" He asked nervously. "Look, a few questions first, ok?" "Um, what kind...." "One, are there any girls you consider attractive enough to ask out?" "Uh, well.....No, not really. They are all so...." "Two, when you think of this guy, how do you usually think of him? Something funny he said? What he wears? What he might look like in a bathing suit?" He felt his cheeks blush fast and furiously. "Listen, Case. It's ok. When you asked me to play this little game, I kind of suspected then, but now I'm sure. Maybe you just think it's curiosity or experimentation, and, yes, it is true that a lot of teenagers experiment with their friends in one way or another, but we're not talking about a spontaneous jerkoff session here; we are talking about premeditated horniness and wanting to see more of someone. And that is cool, but! Don't try to fool yourself." "What are you saying?" He breathed, almost too softly to be heard. "You figure it out." She then begged off the phone, citing work. Casey hung up and lay back on his bed nervously. Was what she said true? It could be, he did feel awfully strange about Justin and, oh jeez! It all fit, but this wasn't fair! How did she know what his feelings really were when he didn't? The more he turned her words over in his mind, the more he began, reluctantly, to accept her assessment and try to deal with himself. He was so nervous. Downstairs a second phone was replaced in its cradle by a concerned hand. @@@@@@@@@@@@@ Cris sat with Kyle on his bedroom floor. He just didn't know what to do, as he'd never had to deal with a gay fellow before, much less someone he'd grown fond of. There was a lot to like about Just, sense of humor high on the list, and he was due to return tomorrow so he and Kyle needed to figure out an answer. Kyle began to ramble from his relaxed position on his bed. "Dude, I was so sure things would work out between those two. I can't believe what a disaster this has turned into." "Why would you think it'd work? Casey isn't gay," Kyle responded. "That's just it, my dad thought he was, and when he showed up all keyed up after the game and wanted Justin's number, well. In fact, that was all he really showed for. I mean, he asked about how I was feeling, but kind of distracted like, and then I practically had to pry the game out of him. He was just acting so weird I guess I thought he might be interested in Justin. Besides, I was feeling so low for Justin that maybe I was just hoping too hard for him." They sat in silence for a moment. Cris began speaking aloud, "If you were gay, you probably wouldn't tell anyone, right?" "Yeah, duh," Kyle answered. "Follow me here. So what would be the best way to hide that so that no one would question it? Having a girlfriend, that's how. Not a full time one though, that might be harder to pull off, so a long distance one, right?" "Even if you were right, why would any chick go along with it? Unless she was like related or something, why would she care?" Both boys looked thoughtfully at each other. "I need to make a phone call, and hey! Kyle, dude, lets go talk to your Dad, he's pretty smart and since he is in politics, I'll bet he'll know what to do and how to go about it in a nice way." "Yeah, I was thinking that. He already knows about Justin, so maybe he has something to say on that." They both raced down stairs and out of the house moving with urgency to Kyle's father's office. As they entered town hall they moved quickly to the inner chambers where Trey Pritchard had his offices. They walked past other public servant's places of official business, the Assayers office, the Town Clerk, and a few others. At last they reached the Mayor's office and walked into the waiting area. "Hi, Mrs. Jenkins. Is my dad in?" Kyle asked. "One moment, I'll see if he can see you now." She winked. She lifted the phone and spoke briefly before informing them the Mayor would see them now. "Kyle, Cris, welcome. What can I do for you guys? We have to make this short; I have a bit of a hot issue coming in half an hour." "Dad, we need some advice." Kyle and Cris sat in the leather wingback chairs across from Mayor Pritchard, and he in turn listened quietly with steepled fingers covering his mouth as he absorbed the details. "Well, boys, you are in a jam. My advice would be to talk to your Uncle Jake about what to do. I am limited in my experience as far as pissing off a gay friend. Primarily because I haven't had any that I was aware of. Your Uncle Jake however... has been in similar straits to yours, and he worked it out very well, so I suggest you take this up with him." "Uncle Jake? What would he know?" "I'll leave that to him." The boys trudged over to the West Side of town to Uncle Jake's place. On the way Cris suddenly broke out of his thoughtful quietness. "Dude, I just thought of something. Jake and Julius live together, right?" Kyle nodded his head, but shot Cris down, "But...my Uncle was married for a long time before Julius moved in with him, so I don't think he's gay if that's what you are thinking. But I suppose then that Julius could be gay. Jeez, we're seeing gay people everywhere all of a sudden? Who's next, you?" Kyle exclaimed. Cris grunted a reply and they trudged on in silence, finally reaching their destination. "Boys, what a surprise! Come in, come in," Jake said, opening the door wide. "To what do I owe the honor?" "We need to talk to you about...a friend of ours. My dad said we should talk to you about it." "Ah, well, all right. Let's have a seat in the sitting room, shall we? Something to drink?" Both boys asked for cokes and Uncle Jake brought three back and took a seat in his favorite chair, resting his feet on the matching ottoman. "Now, how may I be of assistance?" He looked from one boy to the other. Finally his nephew spoke. "Uncle Jake," Kyle sighed, feeling like this might be a mistake, "Is Julius gay?" Jake nodded the affirmative, slowly. Ok, that was a gamble, so let's see if it pays off, Kyle thought. "How did you guys meet and get to be where you are now?" "Hmm, well that wasn't what I expected, however I wasn't really sure what I expected. Well, Julius and I grew up across the street from each other; I was older but shorter in stature than he. My father was an ordained minister who presided over the flock at the local nut hatchery that is commonly called a Pentecostal Church in these parts. Julius' father was a deacon in the church, so we saw each other quite a bit. "Well, as we grew older I began to notice that Julius had no eye for the ladies. Oh, he talked and some of them even fancied he was flirting with them, but I knew him better. You see he always wanted to be around the boys, never went to pieces over any of the girls, which I know isn't enough to indict anyone, but he was also spending time letting his eyes linger too long, even over me. Now Julius was and is my best friend and I was worried. If I could see, then there was always a chance another would notice as well. So I kissed him."

Kyle goggled at his Uncle. "What the hell did that solve?" He exclaimed, and then mumbled an apology when his Uncle's eyebrows shot up. "What it solved was this: I told him I loved him, but I was not Gay and that I was sure he was, and I wanted him to be comfortable around me and safe with me." Jake paused. "We talked long and hard that day, many tears were shed, many loving embraces had, and in the end we were stronger for it. As you know, I later met and married my dear Amy, and she was the only love for me. And now I share my home with Julius, the lascivious old fool." "What's lascivious?" Cris asked, a crooked, knowing grin plastered on his face. "Get a dictionary," Jake replied with a small smile. "Why don't you ever just part with knowledge, Uncle Jake?" Kyle responded while looking down at his hands, completely oblivious to the smirks being traded about the room. "Two reasons. One, because you'll remember it better if you look it up yourself. And two, I always eschew obfuscation whenever possible." Both boys shook their heads at this last. "Now that I have regaled you with my tale, tell me how it pertains to your situation?" "Well...you see...the truth is...." "What the hell does my life story have to do with you?" Jake demanded impatiently. "Oh, well. The truth is...one of our friends might be..." Kyle began. "No bullshit, Kyle," Cris interjected, turning to Jake. "Mr. Palmer, our friend Justin is Gay. Unfortunately I found out 'cause Kyle was pissed at him. See, Justin likes this other friend of ours, Casey, and when we had that little get together on Sunday, Casey showed with this girl and when Justin saw her he just freaked. I guess he must have thought Case was gay or something and he freaked about it. Anyway, when Kyle and I went over to Justin's, they got into it 'cause Justin was so preoccupied thinking about Casey that he didn't tell Kyle he was going away for a few days 'cause his granddad died and a friend was coming back with him 'cause his dad was beating on him, so. Kyle spilled the beans and I was so shocked, I acted like an asshole for a few regretful minutes," Cris finished and sucked in a deep breath. "Hmm. My advice would be to talk to his dad. Unless I miss my mark, his father knows by now. Don't ask me why, but I think Justin confided in his dad, and you would be wise to meet him for a real apology." Both boys sighed heavily, nodded, and stood to go. "Incidentally, I am proud of you both, and I think you will make Justin a pair of fine friends." "Thanks, Uncle Jake." "Thank you, Mr. Palmer." Both boys walked in silence to Justin's house and knocked at the door. When Daniel Corcoran saw who were there, his eyes narrowed in suspicion, but eased a bit when the boys explained that they sorely needed to speak to him, and admitted them. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I awoke to the sounds of an argument. And I was having such a wonderful dream, too! Dimly I could hear Chris arguing with his sisters, twins. And for as long as I had known them, I could not tell them apart. For as long as I could remember, he and his sisters had fought over the smallest things, but I am told that all siblings do that. Makes a strong argument for stopping at one kid, huh? Chris stomped in a moment later, obviously annoyed. He hadn't noted that I was awake and rummaged around his room for a minute before sounding a grunt of triumph and heading back out the door with something in his hand, a small booklet it would seem. I glanced at the clock, which indicated two PM, and decided to rise, although like the bumper sticker says, I would refuse to shine. After relieving myself, I headed downstairs and took in the small war that was taking place in front of the TV. Apparently Chris wanted to watch something and they were voting for something else. I, rather sagely I thought, elected to pretend I saw nothing and proceeded to the kitchen, where I happened on the orange juice and filled a glass. Chris walked in with one of the twins trailing him and brightened visibly when he saw me. "Justin, settle something, will you? I was going to play this Elton John disc for you, but my sisters are convinced they don't like him. So I asked if they liked the stuff from the 'Lion King' and they said yes. So I told them it was the same guy, and they don't believe me. So who did the songs from the 'Lion King'?" "Um, that was Elton John," I said to the twin. She rumpled her nose in mock disgust. She knew I didn't lie so she was now left with facing the truth, or continuing to charge ahead just to be bullheaded. Guess what she chose? "You're lying. He's a fag!" "So what? Do you listen for the music or to go to bed with him? Oh, I get it," I said with an evil smirk, "you want him and you're pissed 'cause you can't have him, aren't you?" "Eww, that is so disgusting," she said and flounced out of the room. No one flounces from rooms like those twins do. "Besides," she shot back; "I like JTT, not HIM!" "You and everyone else," I muttered. "What did you say?" Chris asked. "Nuttin', bitch," I replied. "You want some more, huh?" "Me? You're the one who got his ass kicked this morning," I reminded him. "I just had to be sure you weren't feeling me up, that's all." "How do you know I haven't been for the last five years?" I asked in innocence. "You are so dead," he laughed and in seconds we were intertwined like pretzels on the kitchen floor. "You two! You two, stop that! Go outside and beat on each other, not in here on my kitchen floor! Go on. Be here by six for dinner, Christopher!" His mom yelled as we scuttled out the back door. The rest of the day was spent idly walking past old stomping grounds, checking on familiar places, and generally reliving our misspent youth, such as it was. Our time was comfortable, even the silence was easy, as it always is with those you love and who return that to you. I filled him in on my mother's behavior, and he just shook his head in sympathy. "You know, you have to have a license to drive a car. You have to have a license for your dog. Why can you just run off and have a kid without any restriction?" "'Cause that infringes on your personal rights. I mean, who has the right to say your thoughts and emotions are wrong? Maybe in my mother's eyes what she does is her business and none of mine, and she probably thinks she shouldn't have to say anything 'cause it's her house and all. Granted, our parents have problems, but it's different from those other things." "Yeah, but if you mistreat a pet they come and take it away. If you mistreat a kid, then you pretty much go on doing it." "No, they take kids out, too. But when it's a pet, most times they end up killing it. At least kids have a chance to grow up and heal, even though they will probably be stained their whole lives with the actions of one uncontrolled moment." He looked at me with an expression of wonder. "What?" I asked feeling uncomfortable. "You are really deep, you know that?" "Um, If you say so." We walked back to his house in silence. Upon our arrival we found my suitcase in the hall and an envelope with my name on it. Justin, You have no right to judge me, you have no idea what I have been through in the past few years and your actions this morning were more than reprehensible. Obviously living with your father has corrupted your sense of respect. Martin was quite embarrassed about this morning's incident and I certainly will not allow you to speak to me like that, like I was a common whore. I am your mother and you WILL treat me with the respect that I deserve. Until you have the decency to apologize, you are not welcome here. Mrs. Taylor will drop you at the airport in the morning. YOU call ME when you are ready to apologize for your actions. Mom You want the truth here? I was relieved. I was also incredulous that she thought she had done absolutely nothing wrong! Was I just being really dense here? Someone tell me, because I really felt as if I was in the right on this one. At least I wouldn't have an airport blowup scene with her. We ate and then I "helped" - if you call it that - Chris to pack his stuff. As he turned his back for the next item, I was removing items and replacing them in the drawer. Packing took some time until he figured out the deal, which was solved with a tussle that I lost. We went to bed early as the flight was in the wee hours. Our flight departed on time and I really didn't start to feel too nervous until we were about an hour outside Reno. But why? I wouldn't see anyone until tomorrow at least. Chris punched me in the arm, which was his version of squeezing my hand. I guess the worry was etched on my face. He threw a companionable arm around me and hugged me quickly, and then allowed his arm to linger for a moment, probably until he began to feel his arm go to sleep. We landed in a rough fashion, bouncing on the ground and shuddering in the air. My dad says there is a lot of turbulence around Reno because the city is in a valley and that makes for really strange air currents, and that creates turbulence. We deplaned and were joking as we walked down the jet way about his sisters when my laugh stuck in my throat. There was Cris and Kyle waiting for me. I stopped, panic flaring in my heart. I felt Chris's arm fall over my shoulders and slowly move me forward. "Is that them?" he whispered in my ear. I nodded and whispered which was which. That broke my nerves and I calmed just knowing that he would stand with me, as if I had really questioned that! I guess I just panicked so badly I forgot he was there for a second. He removed his arm and stood close by me as we approached them. We stood that way for a moment, two pairs squaring off. Quite suddenly Cris stepped forward. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Chris moving to step between us but too late to stop him. I lifted my arms in a last second attempt to ward off the blow, futile as it was. I felt Cris's arms envelop me and a kiss planted on my cheek? I opened my eyes as Cris leaned away, and Kyle moved in from the other side, just as quickly planting a firm kiss to my other cheek. I stood in confusion. "Justin, we're sorry, and you know it's hard to admit when you're wrong? It's even harder when you know just how wrong you are. We came here to tell you we love you," Kyle said, tears standing in his eyes. "We are going to stand behind you, and we will keep your secret. Just like friends should," Cris added, chest heaving with emotion. I was flabbergasted. All my worry, all that unfocused energy was for nothing. My telling Chris! That was for nothing as well! Well, maybe not. If nothing else, we were closer than ever. I burst out in tears. Chris stepped forward and introduced himself and was well met and received by the other two. Chris put an arm around my shoulders and Kyle did likewise from the other side. "Hey, that's not fair. Where am I supposed to comfort him from?" Cris muttered. I gave him a meaningful look and allowed lust to show as I looked slowly from him to my crotch. "I Think Not," he said with a large grin. At this point my father finally made an appearance. After the appropriate hugs, he said he'd had trouble finding a parking place, wink-wink, and was everything ok? I nodded dumbly and then with more strength as I wiped my eyes dry. Yes, it seemed everything had worked itself out just fine. Chris was here with me and safe from his father, and comfortable with me. Cris and Kyle had pulled their heads from their asses and had returned to being wonderful people. Life was good and I actually started to relax. We drove home with all four of us crammed in the back end of my father's minivan, settling back into our old routines, and Chris seemed like a puzzle piece that was a perfect fit. It was obvious from the get go that Chris and Cris were going to be real buddies. I shyly told them all how pleased and relieved I was that there was nothing to worry about now that I was home, but how I wished that we had settled this much sooner as my nerves were shot. "Well, there is one small item. Too small to worry about really, but.... Something anyway," Kyle said quietly, mischievous grin firmly in place. "What do you mean?" I asked cautiously, knowing that grin had the ability to melt my resolve and get me into large amounts of trouble. "Well, we've been invited to the Fremont's camp on Lake Tahoe this weekend, and Casey was especially interested in having you up." "But...ah, he has a girlfriend," I said in a confused tone. Where was he going with this? "Let's just say, ahem, we have our doubts as to the reality of that relationship," Cris smirked. "What do you mean?" asked Chris. "Well, my Uncle Terry works as a teacher at Tahoe High, where Casey's "girlfriend" goes. But, well, there is no Julie Freemeyer in the school," Cris explained. "So?" I asked. "Well, Casey told me that was her name," Kyle said. Now this was interesting, but what did it mean to me? "And my Uncle Terry says that the description of the girl does match someone exactly whose name is Julie. Julie Fremont." "A sister?" I breathed. "Nope, a cousin," Cris and Kyle said in unison. "She's covering for him," Chris said in wonder.

______________________________________________________________________ And there it is! Thanks again go to JA Kumor for editing! New to the website are character pictures, although not all characters are represented. If you have clothed pictures you'd like considered, please send them in! Also new are explanations for some character names, so be sure to check those out, as well as my ICQ #! Comments and questions are always welcome at: dabeagleywing@hotmail.com and please visit my site, http://homestead.juno.com/y-wing/asmodean.html Until we meet again!