Just a little note from the author: I am sooo sorry this took so long, but then I always say that don't I? I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did writing it, it was really a challenge! Please take the time to let me know what you think and sign the guest book on my site. I am at a crossroads and am not sure if this will continue or not, some feedback on that would be nice as well. Thanks to Nifty for posting this little daydream, and while I have you here, please stop and read these title in the archive, they truly stand out in one form or another that I find worthy of attention.
New To This State, The Quarry, A New Life, Journey into Love, Connections to name but a few. And please write to these folks, it's important to encourage the ones you want to read again since many who never hear from folks just like you stop. So even if you just say "Way Cool, Man" It's nice. It's better if you look like JTT, or Val Kilmer and live close by and are single...
Feel Like A Bullet: Begin Anew Chapter 8B
Pandemonium had ensued at Jake's announcement. Questions and congratulations were hurled about the table, which slowly degenerated into teasing which is best left to only the closest of friends. After some time, dinner was eventually consumed and the group migrated to the back yard for more general tomfoolery. They were observed by Jake and Julius through the kitchen window where they sat, Jake with his tea and Julius with his coffee wearing the bemused expression of those who are not often witness to the exploits and energy of the young.
At last the time for heading back to their homes had arrived and they began to separate all stopping to let Grant know just how pleased they were for him. Grant was not one given to emotional displays, but he found himself hard pressed to contain tears and had to quell them several times that night. What had he done to deserve such good people? His own parents hadn't wanted him, but all of these people did, they actually liked him! They began to break up and head in the general direction of his home. Home! How sweet that word sounded now!
Strangely enough he was sure there were several undercurrents going on here tonight as well. As the small clusters of people got close to the house he heard Justin said he'd be ready in a second, as he had to use the bathroom. No sooner was he out of earshot than everyone but Cris and Casey had cleared out, and Cris headed towards the back of the house leaving Case to wait for Justin. It was like they were trying to make Justin go home with Case. Weird, huh? I wonder if there is something to that whole thing? Did they fight, or is there some deeper stuff happening between them? None of his business, he knew, but something was up. So everyone bailed on Justin while he was in the bathroom, except Case. And then those two went out front that left just Cris, who seemed like he just wasn't ready to go home. That was cool, Grant had some things to tell him anyway. But what was this? Was Cris nervous? Grant couldn't remember having ever seen Cris give the appearance of unease. It was almost as if he didn't know how to look nervous, yet here it was.
He invited Cris to come out back with him and sit for a spell and so they walked to the back porch and sat on the steps in the balmy evening, quietly enjoying their being together in the quiet night sharing a comfortable silence. Grant was looking out over the lawn towards the weeping willow that dominated the piece of land and Cris was propped against the railing post facing his friend.
"So, I guess you're pretty psyched now, huh?" Cris broke the silence.
"Dude, you don't even know. It's like I'm waiting to wake up." Grant replied, a small smile playing across his face. Who would have thought he would be here now? "When I woke up this morning I was an orphan in a state institution. Now I am free, I have my own room, people that want me in their house and lives, the best friends anyone ever had.life is good."
A small shadow fell across his soft features and he spoke in the direction of the yard. "Is there something wrong, Cris?" He turned to face his friend.
"What do you mean?" Cris replied slowly.
"You seem like your not really there lately, like you're shy and you stay away from me." Grant inhaled deeply, " Cris I know I don't tell people what I feel or think, but out of all my friends, you're my best friend. You're my family. If something is wrong, then please tell me, or at least give me a chance to fix it."
Cris hesitated and closed his eyes. "Grant, a lot has happened that you weren't around to see. And yeah, something is wrong, but I wasn't ready to say it yet. I don't think I really am now. But honestly I don't know if I'll ever really be ready."
Grant shifted uncomfortably and replied, "Did I do something?"
"No! God no. It's all me." Cris reassured his friend, "But, a lot of things have made me think lately."
"So, what all have I missed? And what can't you tell me?"
"Well.Have you noticed how goofy Case is lately? Or Justin for that matter?"
"Yeah, so what. What're you saying?" Grant asked.
"Well, Justin.Justin is gay."
Grant sat still absorbing this. "Ok, so what?"
"Th.that doesn't bother you?"
"No. Kids have come through the house before that were gay. Just like we have kids that are White, Black, Latino, or whatever. Just people, doesn't even make you special."
"Oh." Cris replied.
"Why, does it bother you?" Grant asked.
"No, at least not anymore. I was a bit freaked when I found out, I don't know why; I just had a hard time getting my mind around it I guess. But it's all good now."
"Ok. Is that it?"
"Ah, no. He likes Casey and we all are pretty sure Case likes him back."
Grant digested this development, and then replied, "You know I was just wondering this evening if something of some sort was happening there. They both seemed nervous around each other, so I guess that explains it. But what I want to know is why have you." He trailed off, eyes widening at Cris.
Tears welled threateningly in Cris's eyes as he saw his secret revealed in Grant's surprised expression. It was out now; everything would change between them, forever. What would it be like now, though? Part of him ached for the past, the safety of Grant not knowing even if it hurt to feel as though he could never hope to share his feelings. A new part was hopeful for some kind of future.
Grant's mouth snapped shut. His first though was that Cris had done all the kind things he had in order to get into his pants. He threw that away shamefully, he knew Cris better than that and all the guy ever did for him was out of friendship, concern and apparently love. And Grant could admit to himself that he loved Cris too, right? It was true, he did. But how much? And did he love him like that? Could he love him like that? Grant thought, but really there was no decision to make.
He pulled Cris to him. Cris Teague, the one who always fought for others, the tough guy that you knew would stand by you no matter what, the one they all depended on in a pinch. Grant held him, and made himself a promise. He had never thought of anyone in that way, had never had the concept that anyone could love or want him, who had time to think of ever having a loving relationship where he had been? But he was Cris's dream. Him! He promised himself he would give Cris everything, he would try for his friend, for someone he loved. He found that Cris felt good in his arms, and it felt just fine to feel Cris's arms around him as well. He reflected that he didn't recall anyone ever having cared enough to return an embrace. He suddenly realized that tears were rolling down his face, and that that was ok too. Someone loved him, and for that he would sacrifice all.
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I stepped out of the bathroom and headed down the staircase. I was reflecting on what a wonderful night this had been, how cool it was that Grant had found a safe place, and more so that no one had told me he lived in a place like that. I would have to ream someone for this lack of intelligence. If I had known I certainly would have gone out of my way for him, after all it sure explained his quiet nature and his lack of participation in most things the rest of the group did. As I descended from the landing down to the last set of stairs my heart raced at the sight of Casey waiting for me. Well, he probably wasn't waiting for me but I could dream, right?
"Hey, I was waiting for you." Case grinned at me shyly.
He was waiting for me! And what was he being shy about?
"So, ah, where is everybody?" I asked.
Harry and Blair are dropping off Chris and Kyle. They said there wasn't enough room for everyone, and since you were in the bathroom."
"They left me behind." I finished.
"Yeah." He said, a small smile playing around the corners of his mouth. "So you ready?" He asked, a more wolfish grin on his face.
"Sure." I tried to say, but what came out was, well, YOU try gulping and speaking. It doesn't work that well, huh?
We went out the door and headed towards his car, my heart doing flips. They had set me up! I was so nervous my stomach felt sick as I trailed him to the car. My eyes began to rove a bit and I just couldn't seem to keep them off Case. My eyes drifted from his solid shoulders down to his trim waist and settled on his lower body. I watched his ass as it moved, and the muscles on his thighs shook with each step and I found this very arousing. Suddenly I was treated to a basket view and looked up just in time to walk right into Case. We toppled over as he apparently was going to talk to me while walking backwards, and I hadn't been watching where I was going. Well I was, but, oh, you know!
We toppled over, me on top. Casey looked into my surprised face and burst out laughing.
"Something funny?" I asked as I suddenly dug my fingers into his ribs viscously. He howled with laughter and bucked beneath me. We tumbled on the lawn wrestling and tickling for a few minutes, but I was stronger and soon had him pinned with his arms over his head.
"Gotcha!" I muttered, inches from his face.
"So, ah, now that you have me, what're you going to do with me?" He asked looking straight into my eyes. My mind reeled with the possibilities, was he hitting on me? Should I try and take the next step? I became aware of my hardness then, and amazingly enough, of his as well. I was shocked as I looked down into his eyes and suddenly I felt quite brave.
"This." I breathed and lowered my head until our lips met.
It was beyond words. I soared as I felt him return my kiss, I felt his arms leave my grasp, one to my back and one to my head as he held me in place. I closed my eyes and allowed nothing but feeling to flow, my body sending signals of pleasure to my intoxicated brain. His lips were as soft and firm as I had imagined, and his hair was silky to the touch as one hand roved through it, and the other settled on his cheek basking in the heat of his skin and I felt his heart hammering in a race with my own.
"Hey, you two! Get a room!" Came a bellow.
I started guiltily and looked up to see Julius and Jake on the porch with cups in their hands. They had been watching!
"Uh, sorry." I said standing slowly with Case beside me.
"Not at all! It was wonderful, if only Ebeneezer here hadn't spoiled it!" Julius replied.
I looked at Case and he looked back at me. We both grinned sheepishly at Julius's obvious enjoyment of our first kiss. We said out goodnights and I was led to Casey's car by the hand.
The ride home was filled with meaningful stares and near accidents as we roamed the streets, knowing I had to go home, but delaying the inevitable. We grinned like fools at one another and reveled in the newness of our situation. At last we arrived. Casey looked over at me and I back at him, and then I decided that maybe my next step was to invite him inside. Duh!
We walked up the steps and into the house, hand in hand. My father came out of the kitchen with a glass of soda and spotted us at the door. Casey's hand tried to pull away, but I held it firmly, and tried my best to quell the butterflies in my stomach. My dad changed course and came over to us.
"So, you must be Casey. Think you can get your boyfriend to let go of your hand long enough to shake?" He asked playfully.
Casey's mouth dropped open and I let his hand go, reluctantly.
"Justin, you never said he looked like a fish, does he do this all the time?" My dad asked in a mock whisper as he shook Case, no, my boyfriends hand. Boyfriend. I liked the sound of that.
Case's mouth snapped shut and I reclaimed his hand.
"Talk much?" My dad needled Case.
"Uh, yeah. I'm sorry. I didn't know that you knew, ah. I'm the last one to find out I guess."
"Um, Dad I was wondering if..." I began.
"Well, I trust you two will behave, so sure, just don't stay up late and for God sakes," He turned and grinned, "Don't make too much noise."
I reddened. I went to my dad and caught him before he sat down. I hugged him and felt him return the feeling. I thanked him. He whispered in my ear that he loved me, and I headed back to Case.
After he'd called home and gotten permission to stay we walked down the hall in to my room and he sat on my bed. I remembered my manners and asked if he'd like a soda. After returning with the drinks we sat side by side on the bed, legs stretched out and backs leaning on the headboard watching the TV.
Case broke the silence. "So, ah, how long."
"Since the basketball game." I replied, feeling the blush running up my face.
"Me too." He replied quietly. We giggled for a moment.
"You sing well." I said a bit more playfully, poking him in the ribs.
Now it was his turn to blush, but I felt it more than saw it beings as we were looking straight at the TV. Honest.
"That night was so weird, I was so wound up I just wanted to see you. And then I started to sing, mostly to myself, but.I never counted on you hearing it." He said softly.
"I did. It was sweet. I was so excited to think it might be you out there singing to me, and then when you came to the party with that girl."
"Heh, she's my cousin, Julie. She was covering so I didn't have to deal with the gold diggers in our school. She knew better though. She made me admit it to myself." He paused, " Since we're talking about the party, why'd you leave so quick?"
"Cause I thought you might be interested in me, and it just made me lose it when I saw you there with her. I guess I kind of had it all figured in my head."
We sat in silence once more, again broken by Case.
."So, Chris knows about you? I mean, since he knows I was singing and all I guess he does, huh?"
"Yeah, I told him before he came out here, although he never mentioned that he said anything to you about the singing. Guess I should have sworn him to silence, eh?"
"What made you tell him at all? I mean, that must have been a tough decision to make."
"Cause I thought Cris and Kyle were going to out me and then kick my ass."
"Why would they do those things?"
I explained the whole story, ending with the scene at the airport.
"Wow. Chris is like your brother, man. I'd feel sorry for those guys if they got in his way, especially over you. I mean, Jimmy Carlisle won't be messing with you for a while!"
"Huh?" I grunted.
"He didn't tell you?" Case's face became animated. " I thought I was going to get my ass kicked! Then Chris did this tackle flip sorta thing, busted Jimmy's nose and threatened him with his frigging life! I swear! I asked him why he did that and he said it was cause you and I were friends. But that was strange to me, cause we were, but we didn't hang a lot or anything, so I was hoping it was more than that." He finished softly.
"He left that part of his day out." I mused to myself.
A snort rap on the door followed by Chris and my dad entering stopped conversation for a moment. My dad said goodnight and admonished again us not to stay up late. Chris planted himself on the end of the bed.
"So, you two a couple yet?" He asked cheekily.
Casey blushed and I held his hand and merely smiled at Chris.
"Jesus KHEE-RIST! I don't believe it! I thought you two'd never get it on!"
I laughed, "You had your chance Taylor!"
"No way! You two go fuck like rabbits if you want. Yuck!" He made a face and shook as if he had something awful on him. What a maroon.
I gave him a lascivious look and said, "Actually, Chris. Casey and I were just saying how much fun a threesome could be."
"Yeah," Case enthused, following my lead, "And we thought you'd be perfect for our needs!"
The look was priceless. Talk about getting even for his teasing this afternoon? Oh, no, way past that! I couldn't take it anymore and we burst out laughing, Chris joining us when he realized I'd gotten him. At last Chris went to his own room and we were alone again. We got into shorts and tee shirts for bed and kissed lightly with the lights out for what seemed like eons, and alternately just seconds. Then we slept, Casey's arms wrapped around me from behind, together at last.
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The morning sun streamed through my window and I stirred fitfully with the sun in my face. I opened my eyes and found my bed empty. I sat up and looked around slowly rubbing the cobwebs from my eyes and gazed about the room. My heart fell; Gone. I pulled my knees up to my chin and sat in thought. I looked up as the door opened and Casey entered with two cups of coffee!
"Your dad says you just take cream, hope you like it." He said placing the cups on my night table. He was here! It wasn't a dream! I stared at him as he sat next to me. His hair was mussed and he looked dead cute, eyes sparkling a bit as he noticed that my gaze was on him, and he began to blush.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" He said quietly, not meeting my eyes but showing a small smile creeping across his beautiful features.
I hugged my legs in tighter and felt a small tear move slowly down my face until it hung from the bottom of my jaw, then dropped to my shoulder.
"Cause I just can't believe you're really here. That someone so beautiful and gentle could ever want me.I don't know. I guess I'm just amazed.
"Casey, can I keep you?" I whispered, searching his face, then his eyes as he turned to face me. He gazed into my eyes for what seemed to be forever, studying my face. Then he seemed to find what he was looking for. "Always." He whispered.
"Aww, how sweet. You two fuck sticks wanna get up now so we can get going?" Chris muttered from the doorway. I pulled Casey to me, between my legs my back on the headboard and his back to my front, head resting on my chest and we smiled at Chris.
"Oh, Christ." Chris said rolling his eyes and walking away. We started giggling and broke the embrace to get ready. Case headed for the shower while I turned on the CD player and moved in time to the music as I packed an overnight bag. After showering myself I toweled off and was dressing when I found my packed bag empty and all those clothes replaced in the drawers. Chris, it seemed, was feeling his oats this morning. I quickly repacked and placed the bag in my closet where prying eyes and mischievous fingers might not find it, then proceeded to find Chris's bag and tie his underwear in knots before heading down the hall to the smells of breakfast.
Case was at the table, looking soo good and offered me that shy dimpled smile that just about melted me on the spot. What? Chris was getting up to put his plate in the sink, and as he passed me he told me not to forget to pack. Shithead! I sat next to Case and was amazed at my appetite as I packed away pancakes and sausages by the score. I reveled in his closeness to me, and was still on a high that he was here and mine, all mine!
Kyle showed up in his father's van with Cris, and Grant. Funny, Cris looked so.happy this morning, which isn't to say he's gloomy a lot or anything. He just had a real glow about him today, like he was, well, in love. Chris piled in with them muttering about how lovey dovey people upset his stomach. I just smiled at his goofball, completely Chris reaction. We set out and it was a gorgeous day, keeping in mind that I am not a morning person and this was before ten am. It didn't take long for the idiocy to start. Casey asked me to reach into the glove box for a small item in a cellophane wrapper. It turned out to be a set of false teeth that were crooked and had brown munge painted on the gums. He then pulled up on the right side of the van and waited until Chris was looking at us and flashed him a big grin while flipping him the bird. Chris promptly turned to he rest of the crew and after much shuffling we were treated to several full moons. The van's windows came down and obscenities were hurled. We retaliated by firing donut holes at our assailants and doing a fair job of hitting our target.
The small caravan made its way to the Fremont family's compound on the lake arriving about noon. The Fremont's were already set up in the larger of the two cabins on the property and were currently on the deck firing up the grill. A large dog lay lazily near the grill, obviously torn between greeting the new arrivals and the food that would soon be cooking. Our bags were quickly stashed in the smaller cabin and we headed to the private beach for a swim. I don't remember being more at ease at any given moment in time. We splashed and paddled, swam and dunked each other. Wrestling back and forth and finally a football game on the beach, which degenerated into a huge wrestling match. After lunch I walked down to the left bank of the beach where I had noted many flat rocks. I selected a few choice specimens and began a lazy sidearm motion and skipping the rocks out across the clear blue water. Soon Grant joined me.
"First time to the lake?" He asked.
"Yeah." I replied. Grant knew I had never been before, why was he asking me the obvious?
"I love it up here, it was always a place I could let my guard down and just try to be a person again." He said softly.
"You know, I never knew you lived in such an awful place. I wish I had."
He chortled, "Why? So you coulda felt sorry for me? Naw, it wasn't an issue with these guys, which is probably why they never told you. That's why they are my friends, they respected me enough to let me decide who knew and who didn't."
"I didn't mean it like that, Grant."
"You mean you didn't feel sorry when you found out?" He smiled and put his lower lip out a bit.
"Well, of course I did!" I replied with a grin, then stated matter of factly, "I just would have liked to know as much as I can about my friends."
"Well, um, so are you and Case a couple now?"
My jaw dropped.
"C'mon, Corcoran. It's an easy question, is Casey Fremont your boyfriend or not?"
I stared at him, dumbfounded. "How, how did you know?"
"A little bird told me. Listen, I just want to ask you about it a little, if that's ok."
"Um, ok I guess." I said uncertainly.
"Look, you say you're my friend and you certainly have made good choices in this little group here, so I'll take a risk for me and I'll trust you. Not totally cause I'm comfortable, but cause I need to talk to someone."
"Well, sure Grant. I'll be happy to help if I can. What's up?"
"ARE you guys dating?"
"Yes, we are." I said, marveling at the feeling of actually telling someone I was dating a boy, my boyfriend!
"Ok, well, what's it like? I mean, have you guys, well, you know. Does it hurt?"
"What? You mean you're asking if we, um, DID it?"
"Well, yeah. I know it's personal, but."
"NO. Oh my god, no! We just started dating yesterday for crying out loud!"
"Ok, ok dude! Sorry, I just kinda needed to know and I don't have anyone besides you and Case to ask, ya know?"
"Well, why would you want to know that?" I asked, and immediately afterward my mouth snapped shut in shock. He grinned sheepishly and nodded his head. I pointed at Cris who was still eating lunch and he nodded again the affirmative. Cris and Grant? Cris and Grant!
Who'd a thought it? I grinned and shook my head.
"What?" He asked.
"It's just funny." I replied.
"What is?"
"I don't know, I guess it's just that I always felt alone and now here I have found Casey, which is amazing to me because he is just so much more than I ever could be. And he really likes me. I still can't believe it, and now you two as well? I never would have thought Cris in a million years!"
"Oh, so you think it's easy to tell, huh? You're saying I LOOK queer?" He said with a small grin.
"No, dude, no. You got it all wrong. I never would have guessed either of you, but Cris is always so ready to fight and stuff, I don't know. Plus cause I thought he didn't like gay people since he had some trouble accepting me, y'know?"
"Yeah, I know he told me. He also said you give good head, though. What's your secret?" He asked grinning devilishly.
"He said what? Oh, yeah right!" We laughed and skipped rocks for a few minutes before he broke the silence again.
"So how long have you and Casey liked each other?"
"Since we first met, but neither one of us knew about the other till last night." I replied. Wow, this felt so cool to be able to talk about in broad daylight!
"How about you guys?" I asked.
"Well, I'm not sure. Look, this is what I needed to talk about. You don't have to answer me, just listen if you want, but it stays between you, me and the lake, ok?"
"Sure, no problem man." I replied confidently.
"See, I don't know if I'm gay," he began slowly, "I mean I care for Cris like I do for no one else, and I'll give him everything I can but, . Where I was living you never really got to know anyone cause you were always building walls to stop others from fucking with you." He paused.
"And now there is someone who has clearly demonstrated that they love me for who I am and I know I feel something for him, but I don't know if it's love, or passion, or desire or any of that. I just know I feel special around him, cause he does things just to make me happy. Does that sound stupid or, like, make any sense at all?"
"Yeah, it makes perfect sense."
"What, um, what makes you like Casey? I mean, how do you know?"
I side armed another flat rock into the clear lake that was created by melting snow in the Sierra Nevada and contemplated before answering.
"Well, I know a lot of people will say that looks don't matter. I mean, in a lot of ways they don't and shouldn't, but the way I see it there should be some physical attraction there too." I paused. "I mean, Kyle is really sweet and very attractive to me, but I also know what's inside his heart and I love him for that. But I also know he's straight. Blair seems to be a nice guy, but he does nothing for me physically. I know that sounds shallow, but, what am I trying to say? Casey is just so, well corny I know but, sexy. I am just turned on by so many things that he does that are special to me. Now I get to see if there is more to him than a pretty face. I think there is, but if there wasn't then it wouldn't work, see there has to be this balance for me of the physical and the substance." I finished.
Grant remained quiet for a moment and we skipped rocks across the lake again. At last he began to speak.
"I know I love him, I just don't feel the same things around anyone but him. I never let anyone touch me or get too close. I know I need to. I know it should be him, he's the only one that loves me. But I'm still scared." He held his last stone in hand and turned to me, "I want to make him happy, and I like feeling loved for once. But what if I'm not gay? In ever even thought about someone before `cause people would fuck with you if they thought you liked anyone at all. I guess I never noticed anyone cause I was so, oh, I don't know. Alone inside." He looked in my eyes and I felt that special connection, like I had with Chris and Kyle for just that moment, and then he spoke again. "I'm going to try." He said with tears beginning to form, and fear in his face. I decided levity was called for.
"No." I said in my best Yoda voice, "Do or do not. There is no try."
One tear rolled down his cheek and he smiled, and I returned the smile, and then the giggling started and before you knew it we were howling with laughter and the release from the tense discussion was enormous. I hugged him and I felt him tense, then relax and return the embrace. I stepped away and we began walking up to the camp. I spoke quietly as we walked up the beach, "And just so you know, Cris isn't the only one that loves you man. We all do."
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They say truth is stranger than fiction, and I guess it really can be. I lay awake listening to the rainfall on the tin roof of the cabin, and to the sounds of my slumbering friends. I am amazed at the life that has suddenly sprung into being, at this group I have found and become one with. I extricated myself from my sleeping bag and stretched my legs as I walked to the window. I looked out at the darkened landscape and reflected peacefully on the scene any the day. I remember being told once that you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. I know now that isn't true, I know now that adults aren't always right. I know now that family is what you make of it, I know that some people worm their way into your heart and you can't explain why, when or how. They just do, and then you really have no choice at all but to call them family because no other word comes close to describing that feeling they give to you. I glanced about the room at my family, really, my extended family. Kyle sleeping in his sleeping bag, my first new friend upon my arrival. The first here to see some worth in me and take the risk that came with befriending someone who was different. I remember so clearly the day of his seizure and how I felt real love for the first time, not just infatuation. I know that I love him in a special way that, surprisingly enough to me wasn't sexual at all. Love without sex, what a concept, eh?
Chris lay next to him, snoring softly. For a moment I watched my best friend in the world, the one who would stand for me first and foremost, even if I were wrong. It amazed me sometimes that he was so strong after all that he has been through. He suffers no fools, he'll tell you that, but he must be one for being by my side. Harry and Blair were leaning against one another like two passed out drunks, out cold. They had shared their relationship with us earlier in the evening when we built a campfire on the beach, sitting in two's and threes. They seem very happy, and I can imagine the relief they feel at not having to hide around us. I glanced out the window again and watched the surface of the lake in turmoil as billions of crater shaped images danced on it's surface, the clear water roiling with each blow. I glanced at the stars and wondered if someone else was looking out their window at those stars and felt as alone as I had, if they were right now wishing they had someone with whom they could talk to. I sighed deeply and walked back to my sleeping bag. On the way I paused to glance down at Grant and Cris. Cris lay with his arm draped over Grant's side, peace showing in his face as he nestled up to his love. And Grant? Grant was smiling in his sleep. I lay down next to Casey and drank him in again as he lay on his back, chest rising and falling as he dreamed his dreams. I felt the quiet power he radiated, and reveled in it. I memorized his face in the moonlight, the curve of his cheek and the set of his jaw, the high cheekbones that gave him such classic beauty, and the soft mouth that made my mind feel as if I were a bullet fired from a high powered rifle, speeding towards some unknown target. His eyes fluttered and then opened, and he smiled softly at me before drifting off again. I lay down and wrapped myself about Case protectively, lovingly and slept.
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And there you have it. I'd like to thank those that have written in support of this series, I truly appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts with me. This chapter was unedited for two reasons. One I am taking pity on John Kumor, whose eyes are troubling him, and two because Dave in Washington did the unfinished beginning of this chapter and I haven't the heart to ask him to do this one as well! I don't know where this will go from here, I am not sure it will continue, but I hope you'll join me for the ride.
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