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Ben and Archer – Chapter 5
It took a few moments for me to gather my thoughts and myself after what had just happened. Finally, Archer spoke up.
"Dude, you got a towel or anything? I... we should probably clean ourselves up or something."
I looked back to him and saw that the smile that was there before had been replaced with a stern look of worry and it almost looked like he was going to be ill. Shit. He's freaking out over what we just did. Shit!
"Yeah, man, just sit tight." I said heading to my hamper to grab 2 towels. I returned and now he really did have a look of panic in his face. Yep, he's freaked. Great, I was feeling so cool and relaxed and now I have this do deal with. Its then I realized that I'm surprisingly calm and at peace with everything that just went down.
I head back into the living room where he had already pulled his pants and underwear back on up to his balls but he still needed to clean his dick off so I hand him his towel. He turns his back to me and rapidly starts cleaning himself off. I'm not sure why but this makes me extremely mad.
I also start cleaning myself off and can't help but be disappointed in him. Like, what's wrong with guys that we can't do anything together even remotely sexual in nature without them freaking the fuck out? It's not like I fucking jacked him off and sucked his dick but there he is over there with his back to me in shame trying to scrub away whatever evidence there was of our secession.
I finish cleaning off and sit down after getting my clothes on while Archer excuses himself to the bathroom without looking me in the eye. This just fuels my fury. When did masculinity become so fragile? I went into this as an open-minded straight guy and emerged an open-minded straight guy. Like, nothing about me has changed except now I can say I've jerked off with a guy while watching porn.
I decide that I'm not going to let him go like this. We're going to talk about this somehow. While he's in the bathroom I put on the next episode of Sense8 and make him another drink. When he comes out of the bathroom I make sure I'm the first one to speak.
"Hey man, I just started another episode and made you another drink. It's there on the table." Then I look back at the TV without another thought. I'm going to show him that nothing is wrong or different between us and we just need to move on. I'm not sure how long he stood there thinking things over but he reluctantly made his way back over and sat down. I made sure not to look at him once.
We were about 10 minutes into the episode before he finally speaks up.
"I'm not gay, you know. I'm not."
I look over at him and say, "What do you mean?"
"You heard me. I'm not gay!" he said with panic still in his eyes.
"Who the fuck said anything about you being gay? Someone hiding out in my bedroom insulting you I don't know about?" I say looking in the direction of my room with a smile. I couldn't help myself.
"You know what I mean!"
"Dude, of course you're not gay. I'm not gay either. How the fuck does what we just did automatically mean you're gay?"
"Because guys don't do that shit together."
"Oh really? Where's that rule written down?"
He sits there for a second thinking about what to say next and I take a big gulp from my glass to begin educating him. Before he can say anything I start talking about the psychology class I took and our discussions on social constructs. He seems reluctant but eventually joins in the conversation. We talk about how we're both open guys which is why what we did is seemingly natural and just happened. We kept drinking and talking about how men are "supposed" to act in society and how fucking stupid it is. I tell him how, in my opinion, being more open minded and experimental makes us more advanced and evolved than other guys.
I must have been getting drunk again because I start talking about the morning we woke up with wood and how it made me feel even more confident that if I could act that way in front of a guy how much more increased my chances of a three way were. He's finally relaxing and is laughing and agreeing with me.
He's not a bad guy, I figure. He's just hung up on how guys are "supposed" to act and how, for whatever reason, it's expressly forbidden for us to get close to each other and bond. We talked for another hour and he's finally coming around saying that yeah, he's actually happy about what we did together. He agreed that it was cool to enjoy something like that with one of his bros and it not being weird.
I shifted the conversation to how attraction works and how anything sexual just increases the mood and the moment, which is why I, personally, was especially boned up in the moment. He was laughing.
"Yeah, I can see what you mean. You're right, we're both still straight but we were just egging each other on in the moment. Can I tell you a secret? I was super scared about what me being turned on by you meant."
"I completely understand! I've already had this conversation with myself and am SUPER comfortable in my sexuality which is why I was able to use your orgasm to make myself cum harder. Like I said, in that moment it was just sex and there was another human being cumming in front of me. Totally hot!" I finished. He was smiling again and it made me happy.
"Wanna know another secret?"
"Sure!"
"I was already super turned on and horny watching you jack off in front of me but it was when you touched your balls that I was pushed over the edge. My balls are super sensitive and I fucking love it when girls play with them. Even in porn, I like the guy fucking the chick to have a big set. I'm not sure why, but I've always loved them."
I laugh and thank him. I tell him that it's nice knowing I was the reason for someone's orgasm, male or not. Then he thanked me back which caught me off guard.
"Why?"
"Don't you remember? You told me that you seeing me cum made you cum. So thanks! Happy to get you off!" he finished with a wink. I hadn't thought about that. Then another thought ran through my head.
"You came twice didn't you?"
He laughed and said, "Yeah. Once was hot but when you started blowing and fucking shooting like crazy it just pushed me back over the edge. I hadn't fully come down yet and just started cumming again with you."
I laugh and take the last sip from my glass. Damn I feel good right now.
"You know, I'm also sorry for freaking out right afterwards. I've always wanted to do something like this but I've always felt it was wrong. Now that I have, I'm super glad we did. I feel more open about myself. And you're also right; nothing we did was at all gay. You didn't touch me and it's not like I blew you. We just sat there enjoying ourselves. Fuck, I'm embarrassed at how much I freaked." He finished with a sheepish grin.
"Sex is sex, man. That's probably why I'm hard again." I said laughing. I couldn't help myself. I'm drunk and I really did get hard again.
"Really?!" he said laughing. "Fuck, now I'm getting a semi. Stop pushing my damn buttons and watch the show!"
After a while he decided he was going to head out. I probably shouldn't have let him drive but I honestly didn't feel like having him stay over again. I'd pushed myself enough for the night and really wanted to crash in my bed alone tonight.
Our experience only brought us closer together and we were definitely more comfortable around each other. Now, no, we weren't jerking off together every time we hung out but talking about sex and attraction was a lot easier. Archer was rapidly becoming one of my best friends and I loved it. He really is a cool, sweet guy and I'm glad I'm helping him learn more about himself as well as him teaching me new things about my own self.
A month had passed since the incident and one afternoon when we were supposed to hang out he showed up at my door with a huge, black case.
"What the hell is that?"
"It's my cello. I came straight from my lesson and didn't want to leave it in the car. It's too hot out and it'll damage it."
We'd been friends a while now and this is the first time I'm seeing his cello. It's definitely bigger than I thought. Must suck lugging that thing around. Then he looks up at me with a smile.
"That's right, I've never played for you have I?"
"Nah, this is actually the first time I've seen your cello."
He offers to play for me and I agree because he's supposed to be this great musician and I'm curious to see if it's all talk. He opens it up and begins taking it out and I can't help but be awed at how beautiful the instrument is. It looks super expensive, too.
"Now that is a beauty. If you don't mind me asking, how much did this thing cost?"
"You won't believe me if I told you" he said with a smile.
"Try me!"
"This one set us back $45,000"
He looked up at me and I guess it was the incredulous look on my face but he burst out laughing.
"Told you that you wouldn't believe me!"
"Are you fucking kidding me?! $45,000?!" He was right, I didn't believe him. Who the fuck would spend that much on a piece of wood with strings?
"Yeah, this is a professional grade cello. There are student models from three to five thousand but I needed a professional one. My family helped a little bit and the prize money I'd won from competitions also helped."
"You had better be as good as you say you are with this thing, then."
He smiled and said, "Well you're about to find out."
For the second time this afternoon I was humbled to find that he wasn't lying. He's incredible. Not a single note out of place as he played with ease. I looked at his face and could see that he was in deep concentration and was in a completely different realm with his eyes closed. His body and cello were here with me in my apartment but his mind was elsewhere as he was getting lost in the music. It was beautiful watching and listening to him.
He finally finished and came back down to Earth where I greeted him with applause. Corny, I know, but he definitely deserved it and he was smiling and bowing to his audience.
"Damn, you're right, you're really good!"
"Thanks" he said. I noticed he was blushing a bit and it made me blush. Letting him share his passion of music with me definitely made me feel even closer to him. Something in me wanted to hug him but I let the moment pass.
It was Friday and he was over to get ready at my place for a party that we were both going to. He wanted to pre-game a little so it was perfect because I was off. Unfortunately, I had to work on Saturday so I couldn't get too wild and agreed to be the DD tonight. He was totally okay with that because this semester is still killing him and he was really looking forward to getting trashed.
I leave him in the living room watching Family Guy on Netflix so I can go shower. As with tradition, I lose my clothes and give myself a once over in the mirror. Except now, it's a different reflection than before. I'm not super buff or anything, especially because I haven't been working out super long, but my muscles are definitely way more visible with the help of Archer's teachings and our gym time together.
I put my hand on my chest and can feel my bigger pecs flexing underneath my smooth, tight skin. My hand then slides down to my abs. Now, I've always had abs but they were more like skinny boy abs. I had done nothing to earn them but they were there just because I had a low enough body fat percentage. Now, they're more defined and protruding.
I feel a quick stitch in my back while checking myself out so I lean back to pop my back and I stretch with my hands up by my head. While I'm there, I admire my bulging biceps and shoulders. We had put a lot of attention into those and it made me smile. I've always liked my body but now I'm totally in love with it.
I shower and choose to keep it short to save some hot water for Archer who is up next. I wrap a towel around my waist and head into the living room to let him know he's up.
"Damn son! This is the first time I've seen you shirtless in a while. You're getting pretty jacked!" he says looking my way.
"Thanks! It's just me trying to keep up with you, honestly."
"Really?" he said smiling. Then he stood up and peeled off his shirt revealing his own, toned body. He looked down at it and then me and said "Hmmm, we're almost even. I still have more definition in certain areas but we're getting close! Let's just keep it up and we'll dominate this place!"
I stood there in my towel just taking in the beautiful sight of his body. He's like one of those sculptures I saw at John's art opening a while back. I can't see a single flaw. It makes me envious to look like that for a minute before I look down at my own body and realize that I'm not that far off after all.
"Getting a little hard over there, bud?" he says with a smile in his voice.
Sure enough, I was. I'm not ashamed of it since we've already seen each other's goods but it's still a little embarrassing. I look up at him to see he's starting to pitch a minor tent in his shorts.
"Looks like I'm not the only one" I saw nodding towards his growing bulge.
He just shrugs his shoulders and says "sex is sex" with a wink before walking past me towards the bathroom. I laugh and think about the monster that I've created. He closes the bathroom door and I can hear the water going so I head towards the closet to grab some fun party clothes. I may still be a useless straight guy, but working at Express I can honestly say that my fashion choices are improving. I'm still wearing ill-fitting clothes but at least now they match and are in style.
I head back to the living room to pick up watching Family Guy where Archer left off when I see his bag next to me with all his clothes. I roll my eyes and get back up to bring it to him.
"Dude, I've got your bag here with your clothes for tonight. I'm going to put it here for you" I yell through the door. I hear a muffled "thank you!" and head to the kitchen to pour us some drinks. Archer is done in no time and emerges in a slick new outfit. Once he's done sculpting my body, I'm going to get him to teach me how to dress. And tan... he's still nice and bronzed while I'm ghostly pale.
Archer picks up his drink from the counter and surprises me by holding it up as if to make a toast.
"To Ben, an amazing friend who just continues to be a badass. Thanks for all you've done for me so far this year and thanks for putting up with my crazy shit" he says with a smile.
I feel butterflies in my stomach looking at him toasting me. I've never felt this close to a friend before and he just continues to be a badass who gets me way more than any other guy friend I've ever had.
"Thanks man! It's been my pleasure."
We both take a drink but I still feel like I need to do something after that toast. I look over at him and grab his shoulder bringing him into a tight hug. I can feel him chuckling but he wraps his arms around me and gives me a squeeze before letting me go.
"What was that for, man?"
"I don't know. I felt like I wanted to give you a hug after that cello performance but I let it slide. After that toast I just needed to give my bro a hug. I care about you, man. Thanks for everything."
I finish speaking and he has a huge smile on his face and a new light I've never seen before in his golden brown eyes. He pulls me into another hug and gives me another squeeze before letting me go. We finish our drinks and have another before we make our way to his car. I think I've only mentioned it once but he has a really nice Range Rover. It's black and has nice rims and I did get him to admit that his family has a little more money left than he let on at first. Another reason I was okay being the DD tonight is because I knew I'd be able to drive this beauty back home after the party.
The party wasn't far from my place and overall I'd say it was okay. Hollywood has lied to us with the images of these huge house parties with toilet paper being thrown around the house and people hanging out in the lawn getting drunk. I've found that they're way mellower and mainly it's just a group of friends hanging out in the kitchen or living room.
Tonight we were 7 of us just hanging out in the living playing a few card and board games. There was some teen comedy playing in the background and I was having fun but noticed that Archer was looking extremely distracted and was on his phone a lot.
"You okay, man?" I ask the next time we both went to the kitchen to refill our drinks?
"Yeah, just some problems with Emily. She was supposed to fly out here for a concert I'm in that's coming up but now she's backing out saying she's "busy" and won't say with what" he finished doing the little quotation marks with his hands in the air.
"I'm sorry dude"
"I have a feeling she's not being faithful to me, man. We used to text all the time and we were sexting to keep things hot and fresh but she stopped sending me things and actually got mad at me when I sent her my wang saying that "there's a time and place for that". I just don't get it."
I pour a little extra vodka in his glass which makes him laugh. "Here you go dude, this will take your mind off everything!"
We go back to the gang and he tries to join in best he can but I can still see his phone lighting up in his pocket. I guess he's ignoring it because he doesn't want to be rude but with every vibration he gets even more distressed.
It's a little past midnight and Archer has had more than enough to drink. He's not completely sloppy to where he's going to start throwing up everywhere but he definitely needs help getting to the car. He hands over the key and I make sure he's in and completely buckled before walking around to the driver's side.
I've only had a couple of drinks but I was drinking only water at the end so I'm completely fine and just enjoying a nice, chill feeling. I hop in, start the car, and admire how strong the engine feels. I back out of the space and start to head out towards home.
I'm in fucking heaven! I'm not going to lie. This car rides so smooth and it's so nice inside. It's a fucking hot car. A car that will most certainly get me laid. I decide that I want this to be my "goal car" on day when I'm more successful. Archer is snoozing against the window so we ride home in silence but I don't mind. I just keep listening to the dull roar of the engine as I accelerate and when I'm coasting I'm listening to the soft purr of the car on the street with the wind rushing past.
Waking Archer up proved to be harder than I thought. Thank god I live on the first floor so at least we can avoid stairs. He finally comes to and he puts his arm over my shoulder. He's in that in-between place of conscious and being asleep so he's mumbling nonsense into my ear. Not like drunken nonsense, more like 2 year old who just learned how to talk nonsense. He alternates calling me by my name and then "Emily" for a bit and I just smile at this idiot enjoying his own little world.
It's so late that most people are home so we had to drive to the very back of the complex to find an empty parking spot so I got to listen to him ramble for a nice distance. He looks over at him with blurry eyes and plants a huge kiss on my cheek saying, "You're the best friend a bud could ever ask for! You're so cool and so smart and I just love ya!" He finishes and we're both smiling. I shake my head and think "what an idiot".
We're home now and I deposit him in my bed on the other side making sure I get to sleep in my preferred spot this time. I head to the bathroom to pee before changing into a pair of light pajamas. I usually sleep in just my boxers but I chose to wear a wife beater since he's staying over. He was asleep within seconds of getting home so I remove his shoes and as much clothing as I can to where I think he'd be comfortable and not burning up all night. I remembered that he's a very warm bodied person.
I lay down playing on my phone for a bit checking out Facebook and tumblr when he begins to snore. Of hell no, we're not playing that game! I'm a light sleeper as it is and his snoring ass is not going to keep me up all night, especially since I work in just a few hours. I shake him and roll him onto his side until he stops snoring. "That's better", I think smiling to myself shaking my head.
I don't remember falling asleep but it was still dark outside when I opened my eyes and found that I was extremely warm lying there. The heat was making me uncomfortable so I move to lift the covers to cool off when I realize I can't move and my heart stops for a minute.
Archer is cuddled up right behind me and his warm body is wrapped around mine making me sweat. We're both lying on our right side and his left arm is draped across my waist and chest holding me close to him. I'm completely stuck.