Dear Kerry, I am really sorry, but, I have been pondering on this issue for hours now. After what happened last night, I turned on your steps CD you left at my house, and some of the lyrics got me wondering, Is this love that we're feeling, or are we dreaming. I think it was all a big mistake. Don't get me wrong, I love you, I will always love you, And I know you will always love me. but I think we should break us off before us gets ugly.
I Love You, J. C.
When I found the note in my locker I was crushed. Why was God punishing me? did he hate me? I started to tear up. That is when my best friend Paul walked up. "Kerry, whats up man. Oh God, are you crying? You never cry. What happened?"
"J. C. he...." "Oh God, what did the prick do this time?"
"He broke up with me." I said. I looked over at Paul as he rolled his eyes.
"I told you, go out with someone better, he is an asshole. Me on the other hand..."
I cut him off, "We have had this conversation before. I have told you, I don't want to ruin what we have."
"You won't ruin it, just, just give me one chance." He looked like he was about to cry.
I rolled my eyes, "Fine, but if you hurt me, I will cut off your balls and shove them down your throat."
"I love you" he said smiling. I smiled back at him, walked up to him, and kissed his forehead. no one really looked, I mean this was L A, but, we did have one person yell fag. But then Paul had to be the jock and pull away. Paul was the football team captain, but everyone knew he was gay.
I mouthed to him 'I love you too' sure we might not have been boyfriends, but we had known each other for practically forever, and we did love each other, Basically.
That night as I look at myself in the mirror, I realized I was shaking. Was I nervous? I didn't relay have a reason to. I was a fairly attractive teenager. Blonde hair that fell to my neck. It usually tossed over my eyes if I didn't brush it back, or put it into a ponytail. Something was missing. Ah, now I remember, How could I forget. Hm, red or blue. Red. As I slid the red extension in my hair, I thought to myself, 'damn, I look eaven better than Christina.' Christina Aguilera was my role model. I got my extensions for her.
Just then my Mom came in. She didn't look me in the eye. She hadn't looked me in the eye since I told her I was gay. "Paul is here." She said, then exited my room.
As I walked down the staires, I caught a glimpse of Paul through the corner of my eye. When I got to the bottom, I realized how beautiful he was. Paul had short hair that spiked up at the front. He had a smile on his face from ear to ear showing off his cute little dimples. He was wearing his Spice Girls shirt. He was obsessed with them. I mean, come on, that is so two years ago. His shirt was tucked into his khaki pants. Thank God, he was wearing the pants that showed off his ass. I had to see the imprint, if only for a second. I walked up to him and hugged him, pushing him back a little, making him knock over a pen onto the floor. And, as I knew he would. He bent over to retrieve it. God his ass was so cute, It was nice, round, and looked as though it was very firm. MMMMM, I wanted him so badly.
He took me by the arm. And then in his fakest British accent asked me, "Shall we go your royal highness?" I played along. And, sounding like The queen of England on crack said "Well, yes, I think that would be for the best," he smiled at me exposing those pearly whites.
As Pauls car pulled up to McDonalds [ya, the best first date place.] He told me to wait there. He got out, and came around to my door and opened it. I felt like a prince.
After we left McDonalds, We went to the park and began walking the nature coarse. "Where are we going Paul?" I asked nervously. It was getting darker, and colder, and snowing harder. Well, Here, put this on. He handed me CD Walkman. Singing through the speakers was Vanessa Williams' "Save The Best For Last." He looked at me nervously. "I... I want this to be... I want this to be our song." He smiled at me. "Look", he pointed. It was the most beautiful site I had ever seen, the trees made a complete circle around us., And in the middle was a big rock, and a small brooke. Then the lyrics came into my ears. "Sometimes the very thing your looking for is the one thing you can't see." I had finally realized what it was I was missing. Paul was that thing. Paul was my other half. He and I were ment to be. Then, when I thought he was done, He did exactly what Vanessa said. He saved the best for last. He pulled out this box.
"I love you Kerry, I have since 6th grade. And, I... I always will. I swear to God, if you just trust me, and I know you have absolutely no reason to, I will make it worth your while." I smiled at him and mouthed 'I love you too.' he blushed.
"So, whats in the box?"
"The best part." He pulled out two rings He handed me mine, which said Love, I looked at his which said Forever. Which I hoped was true. I hoped our love could last forever. And maybe it might, not like J. C. and I. Paul was different. Paul wouldn't cheat on me. I loved Paul, and he loved me. And that is what made this relationship different. Love. I had never truly experienced it before, But I was now. Maybe God didn't hate me, Maybe he was just saving the best for last.