Author's Note: Not much to say.ENJOY! Chapter 10 Josef and Eric
I walked into the bathroom; I couldn't believe I didn't have the guts to tell Leo what was wrong with me. I slowly started remembering what happened to me. I felt dirty and distressed; I just didn't understand why someone could be that cruel to take something so pure away from me. I couldn't get in the shower just yet, I mean how could I remove my clothes again. How could I? Is that all I'm good at, is taking off my clothes. By now I was just sitting on the toilet crying my eyes out. The sounds of the shower drowned out my sniffles. I thought to myself, could Leo comforting me just be an attempt at trying to get into my clothes? Oh gosh if I'm wearing his clothes, how do I know if he didn't take advantage of me already? I cried even worse. I locked the bathroom door and turned on the blood red tanning light. The thick steam of the shower made it more comforting.
I wasn't mad anymore, I was pissed! How could that bitch barge into the room me and Leo shared without knocking and just rolling his eyes at me. I wanted to go in the living room and beat his face in. Just knowing he was out there with MY man and I'm not there to rub it in his face. I sat there pacing the bathroom floor. I threw all the towels around, as I got angrier and angrier just THINKING about Victor. I turned on the sink water, and pulled up the stopper. As the sink filled I looked at the foggy mirror, I wiped some of the fog away at the sight of my bloodshot eyes pouring hot tears like a waterfall. I sank my face into the sink and just sat there.
After what seemed like an eternity I finally emerged. Well that was no help, so I just sat against the bathroom door, rocking back and forth just crying, crying, crying my eyes out. I thought of a solution. I looked around the bathroom for it, throwing the towels around again searching for the source of my small freedom, laughing realizing how it would relieve me so. I removed a towel from a corner near the small plastic garbage pail, revealing my salvation. I picked up the small plastic razor and slammed it against the side of the sink. I'm laughing hysterically at this point; I threw the shower curtains back to allow myself to get in. I threw them back sat in a ball of the tub with the shower water falling. At last my moment has came, I laughed my last laughed and sliced the broken razor across what I thought was my right wrist screaming not bothering to check if I actually hit a vein. I slashed the left wrist with another scream, and at that final moment the timer went off and the light went off.
Out of all the laughter and noise, Leo managed to hear a scream. Leo bolted through the door of the bedroom to the bathroom door which he found locked. He ran back into the living room. 'QUICK SOMEONE GET ME A BELT!' Looking at him puzzled Chase was the first to speak. 'What the hell do you need a belt for?' 'I don't have time to explain myself run hurry get me a belt with a regular buckle!' I guess Chase realized it could be something serious because he ran for his suitcase and threw a belt to Leo which he caught perfectly.
Leo ran back to the bathroom door, being half drunk had a little problem opening the door but eventually got it. 'Kevin!' he called to which he received no response. He flicked on the light and pulled the shower curtain back. The sight he saw was horrific.
He saw Kevin fully clothed and passed out. He screamed 'CHASE COME HELP ME IN HERE!' But instead of just Chase he received the entire guest in attendance. Leo picked me up and dropped me on the bed to my almost lifeless body. Leo told Tynisha to grab two of her bandanas. I was slowly blacking out more and more and started feeling really light headed and dizzy. While she went to go get the bandanas Leo who was already silently crying, he leaned down to whisper in my ear 'If you leave me I have nothing, Victor's not the one, and you are.' I completely blacked out when Tynisha returned to the room the, he tightly tied the bandanas around wrists.
I remember waking up but couldn't open my eyes and felt myself moving, and then I blacked out again. Next thing I know I wake up with the constant beeping of a heart monitor and knew Leo had brought me to the hospital. I attempted to open my eyes but they were extremely sensitive to the light, the room was an ugly shade of beige with an obnoxious yellow trim the room was a disaster a total clash of colors, it looked as if the 80's had died here and was preserved. The door slowly squeaked open and there stood a very tired, sad looking Leo carrying a cup of hot chocolate. 'Kevin?' was the first thing he said and he came to my side and held me in the tightest hug ever, 'Don't ever scare me like that, I need you in my life, I...Love...you.' he said as his voice began to crack and he released me and I could see the tears forming in his eyes like the formation of raindrops in clouds. 'Leo I love you too, I'm sorry I was just so angry at you, and Victor, and...and myself.' I said as my eyes began to pour tears like a water fountain. 'Baby I'm sorry I was being dumb at the restaurant I was to stupid to see what I already had, never again will I be so dumb.' He leaned down and kissed my lips softly but with so much love and passion. 'Leo I want to go home back to New York.' I said as our lips parted slowly like the Red Sea. 'What ever you want babe.'
We checked out of the hospital and left our friends to enjoy the rest of the weekend in the Pocono's as we made our way back home. I dosed off in the car, the doctor prescribed some type of medicine to numb the pain in my wrist and like all medication of course it made me drowsy. 'Kevin, babe, wake up we're home.' I slowly woke up with Leo in the driver seat looking at me with the biggest smile ever and all I could do was smile back, he carried my bags as we walked up to my door when I realized I didn't have my keys and my mom wasn't home. 'Leo, I don't have my keys.' as I spoke, I realized my words were very slurred because of the medicine. 'Okay you can just come over my house.' Leo said as we walked over to his house. We walked inside and my legs just felt so weak I looked at Leo and said, 'I can't walk up these stairs let's just stay down here.' He looked at me and smiled. 'No you can sleep more in my bed here I'll carry you.' He said dropping our bags and picking me up as if I was his wife and he was carrying me through the threshold. He gently laid me on the bed and pulled the cover over me since it was kind of cold and his room and softly kissed me on the cheek as I fell back to sleep.
I woke up that morning new and refreshed I noticed I was in one of Leo's t-shirts again and I had really grown to love wearing his baggy shirts. I sat up in his bed and realized he wasn't in the bed with me but, I did smell something so wonderfully delicious coming from the kitchen, I slipped on a pair of his basketball shorts and made my way down stairs. The smell became more hypnotizing as I got closer and closer to the kitchen. Through the door way I went and was instantly surrounded by the enthralling scent of breakfast made by Leo. There he was standing there wearing basketball shorts and a superman t-shirt. "Leo, I didn't know you could cook." I said making him jump a little I let out a small laugh as I took a seat at the kitchen table." Kevin you scared Me." he said turning around and smiling at me, setting the food on the table. "Welcome to Cafe Dublah, the morning special is bacon eggs and pancakes and for drinks we have an assortment of juices from apple to orange." Leo said putting on his best French accent ever. "Cafe Dublah? That was the worst French accent ever." I said giggling while I poured myself a glass of OJ. He winked at me and gave me a soft kiss on my lips as he went and sat across from me. "Enjoy." he said as he began to stuff his face with pancakes. "You eat like an animal." I said as I began to eat the eggs of my plate and gave a sly smirk to him. He stuck his tongue out at me and winked.
We sat in silence for about five minutes when Leo finally said, "So are you ready to talk?" I looked at him puzzled and responded, "About what?" As I took another sip of my OJ. "Kevin, seriously about why you tried to kill yourself." He said looking at me with full seriousness in his eyes. "Leo I can't, not now you'll hate me." I said putting my forks down as I tried to fight back the tears which were about to erupt. "Babe, I told you I can't hate you I love you with a passion and nothing can ever make me stop loving you." He said standing up and walking over to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me into a passionate kiss. He looked down at me with those big brown puppy dog eyes and I lost it and the tears erupted and streamed down my face like the Nile. "I'm sorry I was so angry and he was there and you...and...And Victor, Leo I'm so sorry I didn't mean too." He let me go but kept a hold of my hands as he looked at me completely confused. I lost control of my breathing and began to get extremely light headed. "Kevin, baby, relax and breath tell me what happened. I tried to control my breathing and finally struggled as the words left my lips, "I cheated on you, he...we had sex." He let my hands go and stepped back and looked at me with so much anger in his eyes. "Leo I'm sorry I didn't want to but, but you were all over Victor I was pissed my head wasn't clear, Leo you have to understand.' I said reaching out for his hands and he snatched them away and took another step back. "Leo please say something." We sat there in quiet as he stared at me and I noticed his eyes began to swell with tears. He finally spoke but it was soft and there was so much pain behind his words. "You said, you would wait for me, you said, you wanted me to be your first, you let someone else have that, a complete stranger, Kevin how could you? You said... you said you loved me."
"Leo you have to understand I had no choice." His eyes went from sadness to anger in the blank of an eye and his soft and pain filled voice went to a loud and angry voice. "Bullshit Kevin you always have a choice, you choose to go to the party, you choose to be alone with that guy, you choose to let him..." The tears began to pour from his eyes like acid burning through my heart making me feel worthless. I shook my head and said, "No Leo I didn't have a choice, I didn't want to, I said no, but he said, he'll kill me. I said no." As Leo looked down and finally understood what I meant and he knew that I was raped.
"Good Morning Manhattan, today you might want to grabbed your umbrella it is raining cats and dogs outside but don't worry Jskillzs is here to brighten up your day." was the first I heard that dark and sad morning. It was the day back to school and the first day I would have to face Leo after telling him about the rape. That morning I mopped around getting ready for school not really in a rush and threw on a black and gray American Eagle polo and a pair of jeans and my black and white converse and made my way downstairs to grab breakfast. The first thing I heard when I hit the bottom of the stairs was my mother laughing talking to someone. I walked into the kitchen to find Leo happy as ever sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me and was obviously trapped, talking to my mother.
"Morning Kevin, we were just talking about you and I was on my way out." My mother said kissing me on the cheek and heading towards the door. I waited until I heard my mom's car leave the drive way when I finally spoke. "Why are you here?" I said coming off kind of bitchy which was exactly what I was going for. Before he even got the chance to speak again I said, "You haven't called me in what a week and then you just show up here, what the hell Leo?" I began to get angry and angry. "Kevin I'm sorry I just...I just didn't know what else to do." he said standing up and moving closer to me. He reached out for my hands but I pulled away and looked at him. "You could've been there for me Leo." I said as tears began to crawl down my face. "Kevin don't cry please, I'm sorry I just I was angry at..." I cut him off and yelled, "At me?"
"No not you, at me, If I wasn't such an ass it wouldn't have happened." For some reason I became angry again. "So you feel sorry for yourself not even the fact I was raped, I can't do this, GET OUT!" I demanded as he stared blankly at me with tears swelling up in his eyes. "Kevin, No I'm not leaving you, I told you I need you and I'm nothing without." I looked at him and couldn't do it. "Leo I love you but I can't...I don't know.." my voice cracked and I couldn't even form words any more. My emotions got the best of me and tied my tongue. Leo grabbed me and pulled me into a hug and whispered softly in my ear. "Kevin I swear I will find this bastard and kill him never again will I let anything hurt you, And I will always be there for you we just have to make it through this I can't live without you." We held each for what seemed like a century when he finally released me and wiped away my tears and planted a soft kiss on my lips which began to grow into a passionate kiss which let me know everything he said was true. He broke the kiss and said, "Look at us sitting here crying like two old ladies." I let out a chuckle and just fell into his arms again just feel his body touching mine.
I glanced at the clock and noticed we were late for school and said, "We're late for school, should we get going?" He looked down at me and said, "Why even bother let's play hooky at my house my mom is going for the week on a business trip in Florida so I got the place to myself." I thought about it for a second and said with my best sultry fifties I had, "Mr. Mattiolo you are a dangerous man and I like it." We made our way to the door and headed over to his place where we quickly made our way to the basement. I sat on the coach as Leo turned on the TV and slipped in The Lake House. He came over and joined me on the couch as he put his arm around me and I laid my head on his chest. About 30 minutes into the movie I noticed Leo's breathing changed and looked up at him to find him sleeping, I took notice of the facial hair on his face his faint beard looking very sexy against his wide jaw and the beard above his very cute, full lips that I just couldn't resist and laid a soft kiss upon them. He tasted so sweet like the first candy you have on Halloween the one the just makes all you senses come to life. I lie back on his chest and slowly feel asleep laying in the arms of my love.
I woke up to find Leo gone from beneath me. I struggled to get up my legs still adjusting to waking up I looked at the clock to find it was only 11 in the morning I walked upstairs to find Leo walking around in his t-shirt and boxers in the kitchen, "I swear you have the cutest butt ever." I said walking behind him and putting my hands around his waist. "Not cuter than yours." he said twisting his self around to look at me. He slowly leaned and kissed me Passion began to explode as we kissed and he lifted me up off the floor as my legs wrapped around his waist. We kissed as he carried me up to his rooms, 'Have I ever mentioned I love that he plays football.' I could feel his biceps pressed against my waist, and his larger, masculine hands firmly gripping my butt. We arrived at his room when he gently laid me on the bed. He got on top of me and we once again started kissing as my hands explored every inch of his perfect body from his pecs, to his abs, to the glorious perfection of his round butt. We rolled around and I managed to lay him on his back as I straddled him and sat up and slowly began to strip away my shirt. "Kevin we don't have to do this." he said as my shirts were thrown to the ground. I stood up off of him and peeled off his t-shirt and shucked my pants to the ground and walk over to the door and locked. I walked back to him and removed the last piece of clothing that was keeping him from seeing every inch of me. I stood there as he watched. I removed his underwear looking lustfully in his eyes. I got back on top of him, nibbling on his ear and softly whispered, "Leo make love to me."