Author's Note: I think this is my favorite chapter hope you guys also enjoy it, I know I loved writing it and it just flowed so well and the ending is such a cliff hanger. And this is going to be my last chapter for the month of January but I'll be back with some of my best writing ever.
Big Apple Love Chapter 10 BY: Kevin Smith
If that's what you think really happened that day you're a dreamer just like me and sometimes we Dreamers are hit with reality and I was hit hard, real hard. That day Leo left for school alone and I stayed home and cried my eyes out. I can still feel the tears running down my cheeks, leaving behind the memory of what I thought was perfection not only was the memory of my rape playing over and over in my head but the moment Leo closed the door and left hurt the most. "I love you Kevin." is what he said how I could be so stupid to believe him I should have known. I drifted off to sleep as I ran out of tears to cry and dreamed of nothing for the first time in a long time. There was nothing in my past or future not one thought my body could force out that wouldn't bring pain and tears back. "Kevin?" I heard a voice call out. It sounded vaguely familiar but why should it matter eventually that person what leave me to. "Kevin?" I heard again finally opening my eyes to see her standing at my door. The one person who I needed, that could help, that would let me cry, Mariah. "Kevin? Where were you today?" she said as I stared at her blankly and looking at my clock. It was 6:30 I had slept through the entire day and I still felt drained, not physically, but emotionally. "Mariah, it's over." I blurted out not thinking at all. "What are you talking about? What's over?" "Me and him, him and me, he's gone, he left." "Whose gone Hun?" she said staring at me blankly. I didn't want to say his name because I knew that the tears would return and continue where they left off. "Leo, we broke up?" She wrapped her arms around me as the tears began to fall and she just held me as I cried I needed this someone to cry to, someone to hold me it felt good to know someone cared. "Oh Hun, it's going to be okay. I promise. But, you have to tell me what happened. Why?" I managed to fight back tears as I told her everything from this morning.
""Morning Kevin, we were just talking about you and I was on my way out." My mother said kissing me on the cheek and heading towards the door. I waited until I heard my mom's car leave the drive way when I finally spoke. "Why are you here?" I said coming off kind of bitchy which was exactly what I was going for. Before he even got the chance to speak again I said, "You haven't called me in what a week and then you just show up here, what the hell Leo?" I began to get angry and angry. "Kevin I'm sorry I just...I just didn't know what else to do." he said standing up and moving closer to me. He reached out for my hands but I pulled away and looked at him. "You could have been there for me Leo." I said as tears began to crawl down my face. "Kevin don't cry please, I'm sorry I just I was angry at..." I cut him off and yelled, "At me?" ÿ"No not you, at me, If I wasn't such an ass it wouldn't have happened." For some reason I became angry again. "So you feel sorry for yourself not even the fact I was raped, I can't do this, GET OUT!" I demanded as he stared blankly at me with tears swelling up in his eyes. "Kevin, No I'm not leaving you, I told you I need you and I'm nothing without." I looked at him and couldn't do it. "Leo I love you but I can't...I don't know..." my voice cracked and I couldn't even form words any more. My emotions got the best of me and tied my tongue. Leo grabbed me and pulled me into a hug and whispered softly in my ear. "Kevin I swear I will find this bastard and kill him never again will I let anything or anyone hurt you, And I will always be there for you we just need a break." A break is he serious a break fine if that's what he wants fine. "Leo get out." "Kevin..." "Leo GET OUT. I Hate you and I wish you would have just let me die in the Pocono's because even that wound will heal but the hole in my heart won't." He stared at me for a long minute and finally walked out the door."ÿÿÿÿ
"I just don't understand why he left me, he said he loved me. You don't leave people you love."
Mariah and I sat there just talking for what seemed like hours when Mariah finally had to go. As she left I turned and headed to the kitchen, home alone, mom and Dave went out for dinner. Like my sleep there was nothing, no one just me. I thought back to the Pocono's the razor that freed me and thought if he didn't love me why did he save me, why? Was the only question that ran through my head. That razor was my salvation but now I saw my new salvation, the same as my mothers. There on the counter sat a bottle of wine and I knew it would but me out of my pain just numb me through my slumber until morning. That would work, right? I grabbed the bottle and returned to my room, I was soon surrounded by darkness as I turned the lights off and closed my curtains. It was my dream, me and nothing but the bottle. ÿÿ
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ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ ****** ******* ***** ***** ****** ****** ****** ******ÿÿÿ
ÿ ÿ ÿ I woke up with a huge headache but didn't care the pain in my heart was numbed and the only pain I felt was the pain from my hangover. I got dressed and ready for school before I left my room to meet Mariah I chugged the last of the wine and made my way to her car. "Good Morning." I said as I sat in the passenger seat of Mariah's Chevy Impala." "Hey Hun. Feeling better I see." "Yup, never felt better." I said winking at her I was drove past Leo sitting in his car with his head against the steering wheel. "Poor boy, he should at least pretend to be happy he broke my heart." I mumbled. "Ah school, 1100 kids I don't like, Mariah promise me today will be interesting." I said getting out the car and not really waiting for her response. "Kev you're scaring me." she said as we walked into the school. "Sweetie don't be scared I'm not." We made our way to first period and there he sat with that same dumb smug look on his face, Victor. Oh how I despise him I bet he's thrilled to know me and Leo and done, I might as well have fun, right? Class went by pretty quickly Leo and Mr. Evans reminded us of the Valentines Day Dance. "Well you know that Leo and Kevin broke up so Leo and I are going together." I heard Victor say as I walked past him. One day that boy is going to push me to my breaking point and I will break him. How could I possibly drive him and Leo crazy, maybe I could...? No that won't work or maybe....no not that either. I got it, this will definitely work but, How? And then like a message from God stood my answer, Mark. ÿÿÿ "Hey Mark?" I yelled as I walked up behind him standing with a bunch of jocks and HIM. "Hey Kevin?" he said glancing over at HIM looking for some sort of approval. "Can I speak to you for a second, alone?" I asked him as his pack strolled off. "Okay, so what's up?" he said. I don't think I ever realized how cute Mark was until today his blue eyes and dirty blond hair total catch. "Umm okay you know that Valentines Day Dance that's coming up right?" I asked him knowing he did because obviously he and Tynisha were going together. This look came across his face and he began. "Kevin, I'm flattered but Leo's my best friend and Tynisha and I are together and I'm not..." "Oh Mark, no yeah you're cute and all but no, I was wondering if I could get Chase's number. I want to go with him." I said smiling at his last sentence. He turned a bright read as he answered me. "I don't think Leo would want me to?" "Look it'll just be between me and you and if you don't know me and Him are through." I said glancing over at the group staring at us as we talked "Yeah I know but..." "Mark please?" I said begging "Okay fine, here." he said writing it down on a piece of paper and handing it to me. "You rock." I said giving him a hug and making my way to my next class. ÿÿÿ The rest of the day I floated on air thinking about the day back in the Pocono's when Chase kissed my hand he was cute and really sweet and dealt with the same B.S. from Victor that I got from Him that weekend.
I finally got home and stared at the number on the paper thinking to dial it and so many questions ran through my head. 'What if he is seeing someone?' 'What if he's not interested?' 'What if?' Okay enough excuses I pulled my phone from my pocket and began to dial.
"Hello" the voice said on the other line
"Umm. Hi is Chase in?"
"This is my cell phone. Who's this?" he said jokingly with his accent obvious over the phone. 'Oh boy am I one for accents.'
"Oh okay Ha well this is Kevin, you probably don't remember me..."
"Kevin, from the Pocono's of course I remember you the one with the cute smile." Okay so maybe I do have a chance
"Yeah that's Me." was all I was able to choke out."
"Yeah so what's up?"
"Umm. I was wondering if you would want to go get some coffee or something." I knew he could hear the nerves in my voice thank god he couldn't see the red in my cheeks from blushing so much.
"Yeah, that would be cool how about around 4ish at the coffee shop near the library?"
"Yeah okay cool 4ish see you then."
"Alright cutie see you then." he said hanging up the phone and I let out a huge sigh. Wow was that nerve wrecking now to find something to wear. Ugh.
"Mom Can I borrow the car?" I said as I walked in the kitchen to find Dave and my mom kissing. "Oh Kevin umm." she said as she pushed Dave away. "Can I?" "Sure, but doesn't Leo usually drive?" "I'm not going out with him." I spit out as I took the keys from the counter. "Be back later." "Not to late!" she said as I closed the door behind me. I sat in the car in front of the coffee shop for about ten minutes as I watched Chase sit there and stare into his coffee. 'Okay Kevin, we can do this it's just coffee.' I thought to myself.
"Hey Chase." I said sitting down across from him. "Hey I thought you stood me up." He said smiling through his eyes. "No I would never and plus I called you, so obviously I wanted to be with you." 'This isn't so bad, could be worst.' I thought to myself as our conversation became more than just talking back and forth. I don't know how but we ended up talking about the Pocono's and my attempted suicide. "You know I only knew you for about a day but it was pretty nerve wrecking I thought you were going to die." "Yeah so did it's the only thing I could think of to free myself from, the pain." "What pain? I know you and Leo were having a fight or whatever but he's not all that." "Yeah he really isn't but, that's not why it was something else that I wanted to escape." I said remembering the party, I still cringe to this day thinking about it. "What was that something? If, you don't mind my asking?" "Well umm. The party I went to, something happened... I was umm... raped." I said as tears began to develop once again in my eyes. He reached out and grabbed my hands "I'm sorry I shouldn't have made you talk about it." "It's okay, at least some cares." "I'm sure Leo cares." There his name is once again. "No he and I broke up." I said wiping the silver droplets from my cheek. "Really, wow he must be an idiot to let you go." His comment made me smile a little. "Yeah he's a complete idiot."
We talked for hours about absolutely nothing and it felt absolutely amazing to sit here and not thing about any of my problems, he was just what I needed, a friend.
"I was kind of surprised when you called." Chase said as he sipped more of his coffee. I wasn't to sure what to say, "Why?" was all I was able to manage he smiled his heavenly smile and said, "Because when I first saw you I was instantly attracted. And I know this is bad but, I wanted to dump Victor and move onto you and what finalized that was how often Victor talked about Leo and how jealous he was of you. I blushed; I couldn't believe he was confessing this all to me. "He was jealous, of me?" was all I managed when he smiled at me and said, "Who wouldn't be, you're cute, funny, talented, and real. Hell I'm jealous." I began blushing again and smiled a crooked smile. I glanced down at my watch and noticed it was 11 p.m. and I had to get home. "Wow, we've been here for hours and my mom wants me home early." "Oh okay do you need a ride?" "No I drove here." I said putting my money down for the 4 cups of coffee I had. "See you later." I said walking out of the cafe to my car.
I sat in my car and couldn't believe I let so much time past, but it felt good talking to him, I was falling for him. No, this can't happen; it's just to get back at Leo and Victor. Damn It!
"Knock, Knock" I heard against the passenger side window. It was Chase "Hey?" I said letting down the window He let out a little chuckle and said "This weekend you and me, dinner and a movie. Okay papi?" `That accent is so delicious' I thought to my self as I nodded my head and he walked away and got in his car.
"Mom I'm home." I said walking into the house. My mother came charging down stairs with an empty bottle of scotch and Dave at her flanks. "Kevin, what the hell is this?" she yelled as she stood in front of me. "It is one of your bottles of scotch." I said moving around her. "What the hell was it doing in your room?" I looked at her confused for a second and became enraged "What the hell where you doing in my room?" I yelled back at her. "KEVIN DO NOT SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER WITH THAT TONE." David yelled intervening and stepping up towards me. "Do not speak to me like that." I said back to him and continued walking up stairs. My mother grabbed my arm and spun me around. "Kevin I don't know where this attitude is coming from but, I don't like it. So lose it." "Okay I don't like Dave so lose him." I pulled my arm away from him and continued on my way. "Kevin, get out!" she yelled as I hit the top of the stairs. "What?" I said turning around. "You don't know how to respect me so get out!" I looked at her with such hatred in my eyes and walked down stairs past her and swung the door opened and said, "I hate you and if you want me gone, I'm gone." I shut the door and let the tears flow as the cold February air surrounded me. I began walking around the city getting tired as the hours drifted by; I could always go home maybe she just needed time to relax. No, I refuse to go back and let her win. But what am I supposed to do, I can't go home, I can't go to Leo's, Mariah is out of town, this absolutely sucks. The tears began to come down harder at the realization that I had no where to go and it hit me as a cop car was following behind a blue Toyota, Chase.
I pulled out my phone and began to dial,
"Hola`?" he said answering his phone.
"Chase." I said as my voice cracked as the tears continued to stream down my face.
"Hey Kevin, what's wrong?" he said now with concern in his voice.
"My mom kicked me out, I'm wandering outside and it's cold." I said crying sitting down on a park bench.
"Where are you? I'm coming to get you."
"I'm near the cafe."
"I'll be there in five." He said hanging up and I sat there waiting for him to come and get me.
About five minutes past when a silver Chevy pulled up next to me and it was him, no not Chase, I took a double take but then I realized who it was and I fear consumed me as I realized it was him, the guy who raped me.
End Note: See you guys in February Hope you liked it! And Gee don't you love cliff hangers. What's going to happen to Kevin? Is Chase going to get there in time? Find out in the next installment of
Big Apple Love.