Readers of Nifty, I give to you the eighth installment of my continuing story, Blind Faith. You may remember I was a little depressed about the amount of email I received last time? Well, not so much so any more. I received a few more emails this time, so I'm happy for the time being. Anyway, keep sending it, the good and the bad, to sdauson@hotmail.com. I really do appreciate it, folks. :)
Disclaimers: This story is a complete work of fiction. Any similarities to real life or any person(s), living or dead, are entirely coincidental. This story is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality of Brian Littrell, or any other of the Backstreet Boys. It's fan fiction, and is not based in any sort of reality. This story appears to be written in the first person by Brian Littrell, but in fact, this story was not written by Brian himself, or even by anyone who knows him personally.
If you are under the age of 18, or your local laws prohibit you from reading sexually graphic or erotic materials, please leave now. The same applies to anyone offended or made uncomfortable by stories involving consensual homosexual male relationships. Basically, if you continue reading, you are doing so on your own free will, and I cannot and will not be held responsible for any consequences.
Authors Note: Hurray! Three cheers for me for getting yet another installment out on time! I thought for a while there that it wouldn't happen, with school just getting out and all, but I managed. Anyway, now that school is finally done with, I hope you can expect more of these installments to be on time. :)
And of course, thank you to those people who did write to me over the last installment. It absolutely made my week. :) You guys are the best, each and every one of you. Also, if you like Brian stories, be sure to check out 'Studio in the Country' by Mike, and 'Brian and Me' by DLS. I'm positive you'll love them both, if you don't already. :)
That being said, on with the story...
Blind Faith Part 8
Evan shifted in the bed next to me, drawing me from my sleep. I always was a light sleeper, and it didn't take much to wake me up, especially if I wasn't all that tired. I looked at Evan lying next to me, still asleep. 'Angelic' was the only word I could find in my vocabulary to describe him. He looked so perfect, so flawless. He was utterly beautiful, stunning. I nuzzled his shoulder and kissed the back of his neck, knowing it was probably time we joined the others. It failed to wake him, though.
Rather than try harder at waking him, I lied back down, settled my gaze on the ceiling above me, and let my mind wander. The others could wait, my baby needed his sleep. I loved Evan so much, and it was so hard to keep our relationship a secret from everyone else. I wanted to hold him in my arms for eternity, never having to worry about the world around me, or what they thought. I wanted to be with him, without having to keep our relationship hidden. There was so much I wanted that my fame prevented me from having. Sometimes I wished I was just a regular person.
Most of the time, however, I was happy with what I did. Sure, there was the lack of privacy, but I'd have rather been singing than working some god awful desk job in some cramped cubicle for eight hours a day. It seemed so perfect when I'd joined the Backstreet Boys, but back then I didn't have a relationship to worry about. Even with Evan, though, I still considered myself lucky in terms of my career. I loved singing, and being the member of the Backstreet Boys, I was able to make a very good living doing what I loved. Privacy was a sacrifice I was usually willing to make, but not always.
At that point in time, I'd all but gotten the age gap between us. It had been difficult to accept at first, but I knew then that we truly loved each other, and our ages made no difference. Our love was stronger than that, I was sure of it. I'd even found myself instances of marriages in which the participants ages had differed by 20 or 30 years. The eight years between myself and Evan didn't seem quite so mountainous any longer.
I'd also found myself being concerned about possible legal repercussions on account of Evan being a minor, but at that point, I hadn't done anything more than kiss him, so I wasn't too worried. But in the future, if more was to develop between us, there were so many courses of action that could lead to disaster. Rape of a minor was not something I wanted to be accused of.
That was the only real problem with his age, he wasn't a legal adult. I couldn't feasibly bring him on tour with us, not with everything that's going on with a person so young, family, friends, school, I couldn't tear him away from all that. It left only one course of action; having to bear weeks at a time without him, and that was not something I was looking forward too. I wasn't sure quite how I was going to deal with it, but I assured myself I would find a way.
As the relationship was then, we were living it moment by moment. There was no game plan, no outline of where we wanted to take things, and when. To be honest, it scared me a little. I felt like I was driving in a car with no break peddle, and could only see 10 feet in front me, with no idea where I was going, and only a faint recollection of where I started. What exactly that said about my relationship with Evan, I wasn't quite sure.
"Hey there, Mr. Littrell," Evan said, now propped up on one shoulder, watching me.
I took my eyes off the roof and turned to look at him. "You're awake." I smiled.
"It would appear so," he said, grinning in return. "Whatcha doin'?" he asked.
"Thinking," I said tenatively. I opened my mouth as if to say something more, but the idea which I was about to form into words escaped my brian, and I rather repeated what I'd just said. "Thinking."
His smile faded, but his expression was still soft. He set his head on my chest. "What about?" he asked.
I sighed. "Us, the tour, out relationship, the rest of the guys, stuff like that." I ran my hand through his hair once or twice when he didn't respond immediately. It seemed he was now the one preoccupied with his thoughts. "Do you really think this could work?" I asked him, still stroking his head.
"That's a serious question, isn't it..." he said, more as a statement than a question. I nodded my head. After a second or two of hesitation, he responded. "I think so. Love is all two people need, isn't it?"
I gave him a smile. "I really love you."
He grinned in return. "Same here, Bri. Always and forever, that's a promise."
I turned onto my side and wrapped my arms around him, pressing him tightly up against me. "You're so awesome, you know that?" I asked him as I buried my face in his shoulder. I'd met him just last week, but I loved him so much already, I couldn't bear to be without him. It was a dependency that almost scared me, so much about this relationship did, but I'd told myself it was only natural, and that it was all good.
"You're not so bad yourself," he said simply, putting his arm around me as I had done to him, so we were lying with our arms wrapped around each other.
I would have loved to live in that moment for all of eternity, to stay in that position for ever and ever, but I knew better. I wasn't sure what time it was exactly, but I was sure the sooner I got myself into Kevin's room for whatever it was we were doing today, the better. I'd already put him on hold once, and knowing Kevin, he was probably cursing me under his breath already.
Speaking as I did so, I slowly began to untangle myself from Evan. "I wish we could lie here forever," I said. He nodded against my chest, not removing his arms from around my mid-section. "But I'm already late. I was supposed to be in Kevin's room about," I looked at my watch, "about ten minutes ago. He'll be sending someone in here any minute to drag me out by my toe nails if I don't get moving." I smiled to myself as I kissed the top of his head, and Evan released his hold on me.
"When will you be back?" he asked me, the disappointment in his voice almost tangible.
Right on cue, there came a knock at the door, undoubtedly someone Kevin sent to fetch me. "Hello?" Nick asked from the other side.
"Come on in, Nick!" I called to the door.
The door opened and Nick stepped into the dark room. He switched on the light, and me and Evan both cringed slightly at the harsh change.
"Sorry," he apologized. "but I think you know why I'm here, Bri..." he said.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." I replied. "The very first day he's here, you'd think I'd be able to get just a little alone time with my new boyfriend." I shot him a mock scowl, and turned to smile at Evan.
As I look back on the relationship now, I can see it could have been considered a turning point. It had been implied and inferred, but neither of us had ever flat out said, 'You're my boyfriend,' or 'This is my boyfriend'. It had always just been an tacit knowledge between us. But saying it out loud changed something. It cemented our relationship, the fact that we were together, a couple.
Evan was smiling as wide as I was, but I don't think it was because I was giving Nick a hard time. Perhaps he'd caught the meaning of what I'd said as I'd said it, as opposed to myself, who took years to see it. He wrapped his arms against my mid-section once more to give me another quick hug. My attention shifted when Nick spoke again.
"You just had two full hours, dummy," he said, my glare having no effect on his typically cheery mood.
I turned back to Evan, having my fill of Nick's goofy smile. "I gotta go, sweety. Just know it's Nick here pulling me away. I wouldn't object if you wanted to give him a swift kick to the crotch, or something to that effect." Maybe that would get that smirk off his face, I'd thought. Sure enough, when I turned to look at Nick, he looked almost genuinely scared. I turned back to Evan. "I'll miss you," I said, giving him a quick hug.
"This should only take about an hour, Evan." Nick said, recovering from his shock. "I hope that's okay." he paused for a moment before adding, "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't take Brian's suggestion." he smiled again.
"Don't worry about it, Nick. You're safe, and I'll be fine here alone for a while. I think I might sleep some more. Besides, It'll give me time to unpack some of my stuff, too." Evan replied.
"Yeah, you're right. I guess we'll see you later then," Nick said with a small wave of his right hand. He turned around and headed for the door. I looked at Evan one last time to see him smiling at me before I followed Nick out the door.
We moved to the next door, as Kevin's room was directly to the west of ours, and opened it. Kevin and A.J. were inside, watching some television. "'Bout time you got here," A.J. said, turning to look at me, smiling.
"I fell asleep," I said in my own defense, not having to lie, but carefully leaving out any details like who with. "Where's Howie?" I asked, noticing he was currently absent.
"Bathroom," Kevin said, nodding in the general direction of a door on the far side of the room. "As soon as he's done, we're going to head out. Is Evan okay with being left alone for a while?"
"He said it would give him time to unpack, and maybe do a little sleeping." Nick answered for me. "I think he'll be fine."
Howie came out of the bathroom a minute later, and we all headed out into the hall. Kevin wanted to poke his head inside our room to make sure Evan really was okay with everything, but Nick and I convinced him Evan would be just fine. Besides, he could have been sleeping already. We got into the elevator, and were greeted by a small limousine as soon as we arrived on the first floor. We were quickly ushered inside, and were soon on our way to some meeting.
The meeting could ultimately be described as nothing more than routine. No new material or such was presented, and nothing interesting happened. Why they even bothered carting us out of our hotel was a small mystery of it's own. Either way, the entire affair wasn't quite as time consuming as we had estimated, and we were back in the limo within 40 minutes.
We returned to the hotel with 10 minutes left until our hour was up. We hadn't said much to each other directly through the group meeting, but had rather listened to all the executive types there. Kevin was first to speak once we were in the elevator. "So, what's everyone doing tonight?" he asked us. By then, it was only 4 in the afternoon, but it was typical of Kevin to want to know everything in advance.
I already knew what I wanted to spend it with Evan, the problem was thinking of something that would keep me close to him, yet keep any suspicion to a minimum. I could say I wasn't feeling to well, or that I was tired, but I had been energetic and cheery all night, and neither excuse would be very believable. I was about to go with 'tired', despite it being an obvious lie, when Nick came to the rescue.
"Brian promised me he'd play some Twisted Metal 2 with me tonight. I haven't been able to get him to sit down and play some with me in weeks." he said.
We were all standing in the elevator in a way so that when I turned to Nick, only he could see my face. I did so, and quietly mouthed the words 'thank you' and smiled. He simply smiled in return as the elevator doors opened.
"I guess you two should be heading to your room then." he said. We nodded and separated from the other three, who lingered near the elevator. I head Kevin ask A.J. and Howie what they were planning to do just before we got out of ear shot. We stopped at our room and went inside to find Evan sleeping peacefully on the bed.
He looked so innocent, face up, eyes closed, all spread out on the bed, and a slight smile on his face. He was so beautiful, I felt so lucky to even know someone as perfect as him. I turned to face Nick, and put a finger up to me lips, to which he nodded his understanding. I quietly crept over to the bed, and took a long good look at Evan.
He slept almost perfectly still, quite the opposite of myself. From what I've heard of other people, I toss and turn rather often in my sleep, but Evan did no such thing. He was on his back, still fully clothed, the thin sheet pulled up to his waist. Neither arms were directly at his side so that he took up the majority of the bed space. His head was tilted slightly the left.
As gently as I could, I got myself into the bed so that I was lying parallel to him, carefully picking up one of his arms as I did so to make room, and draped it over my chest once I was in the position. He didn't stir, a heavy sleeper, it seemed. I looked up to see Nick leaning against the wall, arms folded across his chest, and a smile plastered on his face.
I leaned over Evan to check that he was still sleeping. When I saw that he was, I moved closer to his face, and planted my lips onto his. As soon as my tongue entered his mouth, he woke almost instantly. His eyes opened, and he pulled away from me with a little jump.
"What's wrong?" I asked him, finding his action a bit odd.
He shook his head. "Nothing," he said. "Sorry, Bri, you just scared me." he gave me a drowsy smile, and nodded to the doorway. "Besides, it," he shook his head slightly, maybe still half asleep. "It seems we have company." He tried to smile again, but wasn't quite awake enough. "Maybe we should save that for later."
I put on my best pouting expression, and pretended to look sad. "I guess you're right. Can I at least hug you?" I asked, pleading as much with my eyes as I had with my voice. I knew he wouldn't be able to resist the face I was giving him.
"Oh, alright," he said, half heartedly. It was obvious he was still pretty groggy. He gave a dazed look around the room again briefly before I grabbed him into a hug. It took him a second to realize it and hug me back. A gave him another second to wake up a bit more before I released him.
"You're back early," he finally said, coming back to the land of the living.
"Our little trip didn't take quite as long as we thought it would." I smiled and kissed him briefly again, still holding him in my arms. "You're not disappointed, are you?"
"Of course not," he said, this time with a genuine smile, hindered by neither sleep nor insincerity. He reached out and pulled me into another hug. He set his head down on my chest, and seemed to be ready to fall asleep again any moment.
"You wouldn't be going back to sleep, would you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, stroking his head lightly.
He sighed and picked his head back up. "You're no fun, you know that?" I just smiled at him. I'd all but forgotten Nick's presence in the room until Evan turned and started talking to him. "So, what are we doing tonight?" he asked, no longer paying any attention to me.
"I dunno... what do you want to do?" Nick returned, ignoring me as well.
"I wanted to sleep," he said, emphasizing the word 'wanted' and turning to me. "But somebody wouldn't let me." Again, with emphasis on the 'somebody'.
In response, I smiled and started to tickle him, but he quickly jumped off the bed, and went over to Nick. "Protect me," he said simply, more as a command than a request. "He's being mean," he motioned toward me with his hand. Nick gave him a smile and slowly approached me.
"I hear you're being mean over here?" he looked directly into my eyes. It was incredibly hard to keep from laughing at that point. If I were to open my mouth, I would have lost it. I simply smiled back at him. "Ahem," he said, folding his arms over his chest again. "I asked you a question, young man."
I couldn't hold it in any longer. I burst out laughing, him standing over me, trying to give me the sternest face he could muster. It only made laugh harder, though, and it wasn't long before Nick gave up and walked back to Evan.
"You're on your own, kidd-o." he said with a smile, and resumed his position leaning against the wall.
With pseudo-reluctance, Evan slowly returned to the bed. "Will you play nice?" he asked meekly, as if he were afraid of the answer. I simply nodded my head. It seemed he didn't need any further invitation. He jumped into the bed beside me, and took hold of me by the torso. I returned the gesture, running my hands slowly but firmly up and down his sides.
"You know," Nick interrupted. "We're supposed to be playing video games, Bri." He was grinning from ear to ear.
Before I had a chance to respond, Nick's right pocket began to ring. He took out his cell phone and answered it. "Hello?" he said into the receiver. He walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him, obviously in search of some privacy for his conversation. He returned a moment later.
"Umm... guys, that was a friend who moved out here a year or two ago. I didn't even know she was here." he scratched the back of his head. "As soon as she heard I was in town, she called me. Anyway, I agreed to meet her tonight." he gave a smile. "Are you two going to be alright alone for a while?"
I looked at Evan, who looked back at me with the same smile. "No objections here," I said, looking back to Nick with a grin of my own.
"Alright, then..." he said. "Do I look good enough as is?" we both nodded our approval. Kevin had made sure we wore relatively nice clothes to the earlier meeting, and neither of us had changed. He thanked us and gave us another smile. "So I guess I'll be leaving you too alone, then... Have fun," he said, his smile still very present. He left the hotel room, closing the door behind him.
Welp, eighth installment. Hope everyone enjoyed it, and if you did, please email me telling me what it was exactly that you liked about it. If you didn't like it, please write me telling me what you think I should change. I really was planning to have sex in this story sooner or later, but I've found it's turned into more of a romance story than a sex story. Besides, it seems whenever I try to write a sex scene, I mysteriously don't have enough blood to get my mind working, if you catch my drift. ;)
So once again, if you're looking for a sex story, you won't find it here. >From what I've written of the next installment, I can safely say that it just wouldn't work in this story. There are plenty of sex stories on the archive, I'm sure you can find one. :) Anyway, I hope you guys won't be too angry with me...
Anyway, on a positive note, this installment is once again on time, and it's a full 20kb. Aren't you guys proud of me? I know I am. :) Anyway, like I said earlier, schools out, so you're probably going to see more of the same for a while now. Expect the next 20kb installment in about two weeks. :)
What's install for the next installment? Well, I can tell you from what I've written of it, I think it'll be one of my favorites. It's going to include Evan's birthday, and if there's time, Brian's going to come out to the rest of the guys. Interesting, even without sex, doncha think? I hope you guys will keep reading. :) Anyway, email me with all your comments and suggestions. I'll see you guys later, :)
Sam