Okay, here's chapter 4. Let me know what you think, if you like it, of you hate it, if you read it, etc. at blinkmeetsnsync@hotmail.com All comments are more than welcome.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. It isn't true! I have no idea if any of the people in this story are gay or not, and I don't mean to imply that they are. Don't read this if you aren't old enough, and don't read this if you don't like gay male relationships.
Tom sat alone in the front of the tour bus, his cell phone in one hand, and Lance's number in the other.
"Hey dumb-ass. How long are you going to sit there staring at your phone? Don't you want breakfast?" Travis yelled, his mouth full of cereal.
"Eat your damn breakfast and leave Tom alone." Mark admonished, smacking Travis upside the head, causing corn flakes to spray across the table.
Tom remained trance-like, while Travis and Mark started wrestling in the back of the bus, trying to work up the courage to dial Lance's number. Suddenly Travis came roaring towards Tom, Mark in hot pursuit. Travis came to an abrupt stop, and stepped to the side causing Mark to careen head long into Tom, both of them landing in a heap on the ground.
"Mark! Get off me!" Tom yelled, glaring at Travis laughing in the corner.
"Not until you promise me that the second Travis and I go back to breakfast you'll call Lance." Mark responded, taking full advantage of his position on Tom's stomach.
"Okay, okay, I will. I promise! But get up, I can't breath. You're really heavy." Tom gasped under Mark's weight.
Obediently Mark stood up and reached out a hand to help Tom to his feet. Picking up his cell phone, and Lance's now crumpled phone number, Tom retreated to his bunk to make the call.
"Why do we always have to go places so early in the morning?" Joey whined as he boarded the tour bus.
"Shut up Joe. Just get in your bunk and go back to bed. Unless you want to defend your championship." Chris elbowed his way past Joey towards the TV and picked up the video game controllers.
Halfway to his bunk, Joey turned around and started towards the TV running headlong into Justin, nearly knocking him to the ground. Lance stabilized Justin and watched as Joey and Chris fought over controllers. It was going to be a long eight hours. Plus he still had to tell the guys. Climbing into his bunk, Lance pulled out his head phones to drown out the video game music and reached in his bag for his journal.
July 17, 1999
I'm glad we went out with Tom and Travis and Mark last night. It really brought a lot of what I've been feeling to the surface and forced me to deal with my emotions. I really like Tom. I know I've said that about a million times, but before it was sort of like the way our fans say they like Justin or JC. They don't really know them, but they say they like them anyway. That's sort of how I was, admiring Tom almost from a fan's perspective since I'd never met him. Now I've spent time with him and gotten to know him, and I can honestly say that I like him. Not in a friend way, not in a fan way, not because he's attractive, but because I like his personality. I like to interact with him. Hanging out with him last night made me really aware of what I was feeling, about being gay, and about telling the other guys, and acting on my feelings. I never realized how many emotions I had hidden. It wasn't until I talked to JC last night that I really got everything off my chest. I'm going to tell the guys how I feel about Tom today. I just don't know when or how. I don't want it to be an announcement, or anything. But I can't figure out how to casually slip it into conversation either. I mean, I'm not worried about how they'll take it, I'm worried about how I'll react. Telling people that I'm gay forces me to acknowledge something I've been avoiding. Maybe when I see them accept me, I'll be able to accept me too.
Shutting his journal, Lance slipped to the ground, intent on finding Justin. Lance paused in the narrow walkway between the bunks, barely making out a whisper above Joey and Chris's rambunctious game. He didn't want to disturb Justin and JC, but at the same time, he suddenly had the courage to talk about his sexuality. Figuring the two would understand, Lance stood outside the drawn curtain and hesitantly cleared his throat. Justin's face peered out from behind the curtain, surprised to find himself eye to eye with Lance.
"Whoa, how long have you been there, Lance?" Justin asked, slightly embarrassed. Seeing into the bunk through the opening in the curtain, Lance caught a glimpse of JC in his boxers struggling to tidy his disheveled appearance.
"Uh, not long, but, it's nothing, actually, so I'll leave you guys alone. I'll just, uh, talk to you later, yeah." Lance fumbled and turned back towards his bunk.
"Wait," JC's voice called out urgently as he pulled on a t-shirt, "Come back. What did you need?"
"Oh, I just wanted to talk, but I don't want to bother you guys. It can wait." Lance replied casually.
"You're not interrupting anything," JC lied, "Let's talk now." As if to emphasize his point, JC scooted out of Justin's bunk and lead Lance towards the rear of the bus. Lance started to protest but JC cut him off, "I told you I would always be here to listen, remember?"
"Actually, it was Justin that I wanted to talk to." Lance said with a knowing glance in JC's direction. Justin still hid behind the curtain, confusion written all over his face. When neither JC nor Lance gave any explanation, Justin pulled on a shirt and shorts and joined the guys on the couch.
"So, what's up?" Justin asked, concerned by the serious looks on his friends' faces.
"I just have something that I wanted to tell you, is all. It's not like a big surprise or anything, but I want it to be out in the open. I, uh, I. Well, I like guys." Lance waited expectantly for Justin's response.
"So, do you have a thing for Tom?" Justin asked abruptly and winked suggestively at Lance. "Cuz I sort of got that feeling yesterday after the show."
Lance laughed at Justin's casual reply, out of relief and amusement. JC shot Justin a look, causing him to rethink his answer.
"You're right, it's not a surprise. We've all sort of been waiting for this. I'm glad you're finally comfortable enough to talk about it." Turning serious, Justin reached over and gave Lance a quick hug.
"It's not that I was uncomfortable talking about it with you guys, I mean, I knew you'd be ok with it. It's just that, talking about it, out loud, meant I had to admit it to myself. That was the hardest part." Lance explained. "And yeah," he added with a smile, "I do have a thing for Tom."
"Well, I think you should go for it!" Justin exclaimed.
"Go for what?" Joey asked from the bunk hallway, his patented dumb look returning as he and Chris abandoned their game, "I don't get it!"
"Surprise, surprise," Chris commented sarcastically squeezing past Joey to take a seat on the couch next to JC.
Faced with the opportunity to tell Chris and Joey about Tom, Lance froze momentarily like a deer caught in the headlights. Seeing Lance falter, Justin gave him an encouraging nod while squeezing JC's hand.
"Oh, well, I'm sort of interested in Tom," Lance tried to keep his voice from wavering, "And Justin thinks I should go for it." Chris immediately understood the deeper meaning behind Lance's statement. This was the first time Lance had publicly shown an interest in a guy. This was his subtle way of coming out to them without turning it into a big ordeal.
"I think you should go for it too." Chris said, smiling at Lance. And in typical Chris fashion, he lightened the mood, "Cuz then Joey and I will get to hang out with Travis more often, and he was teaching us some really good pranks."
Lance sighed, feeling happier than he had in weeks. Not only did his friends accept him; he was also on the road to accepting himself. The only thing left for Lance to do was call Tom. He pulled the paper from his pocket, grabbed his cell phone and retreated to his bunk before his newfound confidence dissipated.
The shrill ring of Tom's cell phone startled him. He had been staring so intently at it, rehearsing what he would say to Lance, that he forgot the phone could also receive incoming calls. Checking the ID, Tom recognized the number immediately as the one he had committed to memory.
"Lance?" Tom answered the phone hesitantly, a strange jumble of nerves and happiness making it hard for him to keep his voice steady.
"Yeah, how did you know it was me?" Lance asked, confused, "Oh, duh, caller ID on the cell phone. I get it." He answered his own question sheepishly.
"So what are you and the guys up to?" Tom asked, not remembering a word of what he had planned to say to Lance.
"Nothing much," Lance replied trying to hide his nervous excitement, "Just kind of chillin' on the bus. What about you guys?"
"Same here," Tom said. Noticing Travis eavesdropping through the curtain that separated his bunk from the narrow aisle, he took off a sneaker and hurled it in the general direction of Travis's head. Getting the message, Travis headed for the front of the bus before any other footwear could be launched in his direction.
"Where are you guys headed?" Tom continued, "Anywhere cool?"
"Well, we're about 3 hours into the drive to Toronto." Lance checked his watch to verify his estimation, "Make that 3 and half hours."
"You're going to be in Toronto? Are you doing a show there tonight?" Tom was suddenly hopeful, "Cuz we're on the way to Toronto too, only we're stopping in Buffalo for a show tonight."
"Really?" Lance didn't even bother to disguise his enthusiasm, a grin spread across his face, "When are you getting to Toronto? We're doing two shows there, one tonight and one tomorrow. If you get there early enough, maybe we could do something if you aren't busy. I mean, if you want to, that is."
"For sure. I definitely want to. But," Tom's face fell, "I'm pretty sure we're busy almost all day doing sound checks and stuff. Dammit."
"What about after the show?" Lance suggested hopefully.
"Yeah, but I really wanted to hang with you more than that. And after the show we'll both be tired..." Tom let his voice trail off as he realized what he just said. Lance's heart skipped a beat as he thought carefully about what to say next, "I want to hang out with you too. I had a good time last night."
"Well, I'll see what I can do about getting some free time during the day tomorrow, and call you on your cell later today." Tom concluded.
"Sounds good, talk to you later." Lance hung up the phone and sighed, this was turning out to be a pretty good day.
Tom stretched out on his bunk, confident that Lance felt something for him, even if it was just friendship. "He called, didn't he? And asked me if I wanted to do something." Tom thought to himself. "Now the only thing I have to worry about is getting management to give us a break tomorrow."
Tom's daydreams were interrupted by a loud cough from the aisle between the bunks; Mark's oh so subtle way of getting noticed. Obligingly, Tom rolled over and pulled back the curtain.
"So, Travis says you were talking to Lance...." Mark paused, waiting for Tom to jump in with the details.
"Yeah, I was," Tom said, unable to keep his smile hidden, "We're going to be in Toronto tomorrow and so are they, so Lance and I are for sure going out after the show."
The two high fived, and seeing that Tom wanted to be left alone, Mark headed towards his own bunk, hoping to take a nap. He'd wanted Tom to find someone for a long time. Not just anyone, but someone that would make him happy. As hard as he tried, Mark couldn't help but feel protective of Tom, especially when it came to dating.
"I've just seen him get hurt so many times." Mark thought as he slipped of his jeans and crawled into his bunk. He tried to remember the number of girls Tom had dated in the past, all of whom had taken advantage of him and his fame. Shaking his head, he hoped Lance would make Tom happy, unlike his last boyfriend
Mark remembered Jason; Tom's most recent ex, with contempt. Jason was the first and only guy Tom had dated, giving him a certain vulnerability that Jason exploited at every turn. Even though the relationship was completely one sided, Tom kept trying to make it work, doing whatever Jason wanted. Their eventual break up caused Tom to swear off dating for nearly a year. In fact, Lance was the first guy Tom had shown an interest in since Jason.
"I really hope this works out," Mark thought again as started falling asleep, "I just want Tom to be happy."
"Well, we're going out after the show tomorrow." Lance announced as he walked towards the TV where the guys were watching a movie.
"Huh?" Joey paused, and for once he wasn't the only one confused.
Lance's explanation the overlap in tour dates and summary of the conversation he had with Tom was met with enthusiasm.
"That's great!" JC exclaimed, from his position on the couch, "I'm really happy for you."
Justin lifted his head from JC's lap to grin at Lance, "So what are you gonna do?" He asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
Lance blushed, thinking of what he'd like to do with Tom.
"Awwwwww, look! He's embarrassed!" Joey threw a pillow in Lance's direction, but missed, hitting JC square in the face.
"It's war!" Justin yelled, grabbing the pillow as it bounced of JC and launching it back at Joey. Chris and Lance grabbed pillows and followed Justin's lead.
"Hey," Joey whined from beneath a mound of pillows, "Why does everyone always pick on me?"
Chris and the rest of the guys laughed as they pulled into the parking lot of Planet Hollywood for lunch. Pulling on hats, the guys entered the restaurant as casually as five pop stars and their bodyguards could. Sitting down at a corner booth, they breathed a sigh of relief realizing the restaurant was clear of rabid teenyboppers.
"Hello, Lance? Are you paying any attention at all?" JC asked sarcastically, laughing at the vacant look on Lance's face.
"Huh?" Lance asked, obviously confused. Spotting the waiter at the head of the table, he scanned the menu for something to eat. "I'll have the bacon cheeseburger and a coke please."
Lance passed the menu to the amused waiter while his thoughts drifted back to Tom and their conversation. "This has to be more than a friendly thing."
Lance speculated, "Otherwise he would have invited the rest of the guys, like last time. He wants hang with me. That must mean something." A straw wrapper launched in his direction brought Lance back to reality.
"Come on, Lance! You can think about him all you want on the rest of the trip. There's like a 3 hour drive left." Justin complained good-naturedly
"Sorry," Lance grinned sheepishly, and shot a straw wrapper back at JC, inciting yet another playful battle, this time Lance being the target.
I hope you liked this chapter. Let me know what you think about the characters, the length of chapters, the speed at which things are progressing, etc. at blinkmeetsnsync@hotmail.com