A/N- I am so sorry this chapter took so long for me to post but here it
is! I hope you guys aren't mad because of the delay. I've been going
through a really hard time with being put on new depression meds
and dealing with just recently losing my boyfriend.(Rest in peace
Rodney) but here I am. And I promise my updates will me much quicker
now. Love ya'll. Please feel free to leave me feedback at
deadsincebirth@hotmail.com. good or bad, your opinions matter to me.
This story is dedicated to Rodney Warren, my love, my world. Why you had
to be taken from me so soon I will never understand... but I will always
love you.
OoOoOooBloodGothicooOoOoO
OoOoOooChaptertwo ooOoOoO
OoOoOooMyBeingooOoOoO
The walls of the pool house were practically vibrating from the loud music. Hadrian stood in the middle of the room holding on to the mic as he tapped his foot in beat with the music. His hair was pulled back making the dark blue and purple lights that lit the room make his eyes appear almost cobalt blue. His long fingers wrapped around the mic which had three or four black and purple scarves wrapped around it. "Hit it, Hadge." Adam said looking at the dark haired young man. Hadrian smiled before closing his eyes briefly. Suddenly the only thing he could feel or hear was the vibration of the music flowing through his body, and then he was lost... Look into my eyes, tell me what you see? I'm almost convinced you don't even know the real me. What do you see when you look at me? Is it someone worth crying over? A person who's passionate and caring? Well, that's something I will never be When I stand in front of the mirror And stare deep into my eyes Do you know what I see? A cursed and soul-less being How can you love something that feels nothing? I feel no pain, no sympathy or emotion He opened his eyes and looked up at the bright lights above the stage; the sound of the crowd cheering made his adrenaline level rise. He smiled as he moved closer to the stage reaching out to touch the crowd's reaching hands. There is nothing in me My being is empty There is nothing that can fill me, but you can try Try to fill me with your light, and make me feel again End forever this longing of mine The music stopped and he stared out into the crowd of screaming fans, a smile tugging on the corner of his mouth as he turned to look at the band. When he was here, on stage, it felt like he was free. No one could ruin anything while he was there; it was definitely his safe haven. OoOoOooBloodGothicooOoOoO Back in the dressing room, Adam and Eli sat in arm chairs in the far corner of the room as Hadrian stood in front of the mirror. "Look at you, always messing with your hair." Adam joked as he leaned back in his seat. Hadrian dismissed the comment as he pulled his hair back into a ponytail and turned to face him. "You guys did awesome tonight." He said tucking a strand of his hair that had some how came lose being his pierced left ear. "Well yeah of course we were." Eli said smiling as he looked at the jet black haired singer. "Duh, but you were the star of the show." Adam said teasingly. Hadrian shot them both a glare. "Will you two knock it off, I get enough crap about the way I am already. I don't need it from you too." "Oh come on Hadge, admit it. You're amazing. You have an amazing voice; you just need to loosen up. You're too uptight." The red haired drummer said rising to his feet. "I am not uptight." "You can be." Eli said crossing his arms over his chest. "Whatever, I have places I need to be. I don't have time for this at all." Hadrian answered grabbing his leather jacket off of the back of the nearest chair, throwing it on and leaving the dressing room. "Damn it, what's his problem?" Eli asked as he looked at Adam. "He does that a lot now." "He doesn't like what he has become, but he needs to deal with it. He can't change back. We've accepted what we are and what we have to do to exist. But he just -- I guess he has this lingering hope that maybe he'll wake up and everything will be the way things used to be." "But that will never be so." Eli said standing up and looking at Adam. "We need to help him realize that before he ends up driving himself crazy." OoOoOooBloodGothicooOoOoO Hadrian walked inside of his apartment and closed the door quietly behind him. "So, how was the concert?" Tayven asked turning on the lamp on the table beside the chair he was sitting in. "What are you doing in my apartment? Don't you have other people you can bother constantly?" The dark haired young man asked as he took of his jacket and hung it on the clothing rack. "I do, but you are far more fun to torment." Tayven said with a smile. "Now, answer my question. How was the concert?" Hadrian rolled his eyes. "It was fine... as usual." "I bet you were absolutely marvelous." Tayven said standing up and walking over to Hadrian. "You always are. You are nothing less than perfect." "I'm far from perfect." The dark haired man said as he turned to go up the stairs but Tayven's hand around his wrist stopped him. "Oh stop it Hadge, why must you make it so hard on yourself? Life could be so much simpler; you just have to allow it." "Life wasn't meant to be simple Tayven." Hadrian answered as he tried to pull away but Tayven tightened his grasp. "Why won't you just let me be?" "Because I hate seeing you do this to yourself." "What am I doing to myself? Please enlighten me." Hadrian said as he finally managed to pull away. He looked at the older man and crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest. "You have a gift Hadrian, you're talented... beautiful... smart... you just don't see it. You have it in your power to do whatever you want with your life, you just need to find it in yourself to do it." Tayven said gently caressing the dark haired young man's cheek. "If I have it in my power to do whatever I want with my life, then why can't I change?" "Why would you want to change?" "Why would I want to change?" Hadrian snapped. "Why the hell wouldn't I?" Tayven let out an annoyed sigh. "I try and I try to help you. To get you to realize that there is no turning back, you are what you are and still you do this. You continue to act like a stubborn child." "I am not a child!" "Then you better start acting like an adult Hadrian, because I'm getting sick and tired of you constantly trying to live your life like some filthy human. You will never be human again, do you understand that!?" Hadrian looked into Tayven's eyes, his fists clenched so tightly he could feel blood pouring down the palm of his hand. "And I have you to thank for that." He said as rolling his eyes again and turning to go up the stairs, this time accomplishing it. "Hadrian come back, don't pull this." Tayven shouted after him, but the only reply he got was the bedroom door slamming shut. OoOoOooBloodGothicooOoOoO "What the hell is your problem?" Anaya asked as she walked into her brother's room. Hadrian was lying on his stomach, his face buried in his pillow. "Go away." "Oh come on Hadrian, cheer up. You were fantastic tonight." She said approaching her brother and sitting on the edge of the bed." She reached over and ran her fingers gently up his back. "Please, cheer up. I don't like you in this state." "Why can't anything ever go the way I want it to? I mean, look at me." He answered as he sat up. "There is nothing wrong with you, okay? You need to relax." Hadrian let out a heavy sigh and stood up. "I really do need to learn how to relax."
Raye Inaki Here!! I'm actually doing my job, editing. Oh The song was for the most part my creation. Mine! Raye Inaki! Well, Ashe did start it but came to me for help andI pretty much rewrote the whole thing. You're doing Fantastic on this one Ashlyn!!!