BLUE SKY - IV & V by reid
-4-
According to my running count, I had thirty four athletic t-shirts. Twelve black, eight white, five red, five blue, two white-blue ringer t-shirts, and two Abercrombie & Fitch retro logo shirts. All of them discovered as I unpacked my dresser drawers the day before we were leaving for Nagoya.
I folded each shirt and stuffed it into my suitcase, cramming until the sides bulged obscenely. I sighed and wiped the sweat off my forehead. How the hell had I accumulated so much crap in such a short time? I knew in the back of my head that I would have to leave some of the shirts behind but the notion was terribly traumatic.
I'd already packed all my other clothes, deliberately leaving the t-shirts for last. It reminded me of the Tide commercial where the loving, devoted man leaves comfortable America to follow his Asian companion to the Far East, bringing his beloved t-shirt collection with him. I shook my head and wondered just how I'd talked myself into thinking this was a good idea.
"You almost done?" Teddy asked, leaning in the doorway.
"One way or another." I sighed, trying to decide which of my shirts would have to stay behind.
"Jamie says she'll come by and make sure we don't start growing mildew on the walls."
"Great."
Teddy didn't say anything. He walked in and sat down on the bed behind me. I could feel him watching me as I removed the spare shirts from my suitcase. Neither of us said anything for a while. He'd noticed how, as the moving date had gotten closer and closer, my mood had become significantly more taciturn. Moreso than usual.
He idly played with an empty CD case. I unzipped the suitcase and adjusted the remaining shirts, the sound of the metal teeth separating loud in the silence of the bed room. After finding that the suitcase closed successfully, I moved it onto the floor and sat down on the bed next to Teddy, exhaling loudly and rubbing the back of my neck.
I let my body drop back onto the mattress, feeling the softness of the comforter against my bare back. I draped my arm over my eyes and rested, my muscles feeling the strain of several weeks worth of packing and readying the unessentials for storage. The mattress shifted as Teddy laid down beside me.
He reached over and ran his fingers through my hair, smoothing down the unruly, sweat-induced spikes. I moved my arm down from over my eyes and rolled onto my side, facing him. Teddy ran his sock covered toe over the top of my bare foot. I shifted myself towards him on the bed and pulled him into my arms, feeling his warm weight relax against me.
I petted his hair gently, "So we do have a place to live there, right?"
He poked me in the ribs, "Yeah. They're fumigating for beetles but it should be almost all clear by the time we land."
I rolled over onto my stomach, sending Teddy onto his back. He sighed contentedly underneath me and rubbed his thigh against the soft plaid fabric of my pants. I nuzzled my face into his neck and took a nice, mind-altering hit of his scent. I felt his pulse with my lips and kissed it softly.
"Shawn?"
"Hmm?"
Teddy didn't say anything immediately. I felt his legs stretch out and relax under me. His arms slid up and wrapped around my back and he hugged me to him. I felt the soft, steady thump of his heartbeat.
"Thank you." He said softly, almost a whisper.
I moved my face from his neck and kissed him gently on the lips. They felt so warm and soft. I nestled myself against Teddy and kissed him again, deeper and slower this time. His hips gyrated under me, his firm stomach muscles pressing against my waist. The crinkly black material of his shorts tickled my bare skin.
Slowly, I moved my forehead down against his neck and pushed the hem of his t-shirt up slightly. I slid down more and brushed the tip of my nose against the exposed skin of his stomach. I ran the tip of my thumb across the slight ridges of his stomach and round the rim of his belly buttom. Teddy shifted his hips, causing his abdominal muscles to contract under my touch.
Gently, I laid my hand flat against his stomach. The thick skin of my palm felt the amazing warmth of his skin as I studied the contrast. My pale skin against his dark skin. I smiled and rubbed my hand further up and under his shirt, rubbing his chest in slow, firm strokes. Teddy moaned and draped his arms over his eyes, spreading his legs slowly.
His pleasured sound was like sweet music to my ears.
When he'd stretched out more, his stomach had become more exposed an I inspected it closely. Every pore and cell of his skin fascinated me in it's own way. I let the tip of my noise rub over the trail of hair under his belly button, feeling how soft it was. I brought my hand back down and stroked the skin where it met the elastic of his boxer-briefs. Teddy moaned again and I kissed his stomach gently, just brushing my lips over his skin.
Teddy reached down and ran his fingers through my hair again. I shivered.
We both knew what weaknesses the other had. Teddy had his legs, his eyebrows, and his stomach, I had my hair and the nape of my neck. We both exploited these special weakspots to our own advantage on many occasions. They always worked, too.
I laid my head on his stomach and enjoyed the feeling of his firm yet soft and inviting form under me. Teddy sighed and ran the tips of his fingers across my forehead, stroking my skin lightly. He raised his legs and let his thighs cradle my torso, the slight pressure of his muscles holding me secure. I reached up and ran my hand over the inside of his thigh, massaging his silky soft skin.
"Tell me I don't have to go to work tommorow." He sighed, his voice mopey.
"You'll survive. It'll be tearfull and traumatic and you'll second guess yourself a million times but everything will be okay. You've taught them well."
He stroked my hair for a while. I knew how much it must have been weighing on him. He sighed again and I shifted my weight, laying down next to him. I draped my arm over Teddy's stomach and rested my head on his shoulder, listening to the silence in the room. I looked down at the pile of cardboard boxes stacked at the foot of the bed, a knot tightening in my stomach as they reminded me.
"Two days."
"Two days." He said softly, kissing me gently on the forehead.
The cordless phone on the nightstand rang. Grumbling to myself, I rolled over so Teddy could slide up on the bed and answer it. Yawning, I laid my head on the pillow and closed my eyes, hoping to possibly get an early start on my next try at a good night's sleep. Not that it had any chance in hell of happening.
Laying there, I listened to Teddy on the phone. Even from where I was, I could hear his mother's voice. As much as it killed me, I really envied the relationship Teddy had with his family. They were actually - close. His family actually - didn't mind that his son was gay. His mother and his siblings had actually accepted Teddy's sexuality. They even, at times, seemed to find it a good thing.
They'd also accepted me as well. I'd become a member of their family. His mom had even joked about how they were going to trade in Teddy's older brother for me. Beneath the laughter that joke always got, it made me feel good. It made me feel wanted. Feeling wanted as a good thing; just how good was something I'd never really known.
"No," Teddy said, "He's asleep."
I smiled. Teddy paused.
"He was packing all day."
I stifled a laugh. Teddy elbowed me and I did my best to quiet down.
"Mom, I'll call you before we leave - Yes, I will - Yes, I packed it," Another stifled laugh, another elbow, "I'm going to do that at the airport - The rates are fine, it's LAX - Mom, it'll be fine. Don't worry - I know - I'll try - Okay - Okay, Mom - I love you too - Yeah - Bye."
He hung up the phone and clunked it down on the nightstand. Teddy exhaled heavily and laid back on the mattress. He reached over and switched off the lamp, sending the room into darkness. I wiped some of the sweat off my forehead as I pulled the blankets up to my waist.
I looked at the alarm clock as - 9:54pm.
I couldn't remember the last time I'd actually been in bed, in a position of readiness for sleep, before 10:00pm. I laid there for a second, waiting for sleep to magically overtake me. When it didn't, I rubbed my eyes and exhaled. Restlessly, I kicked the blankets down off my legs and rolled over restlessly, the humidity making me itch.
I buried my face into the pillow, laying still for the briefest of seconds before squirming around again. Finally, I was able to settle down on my side. The matress shifted as Teddy reached down and pulled the thin sheet up over me, the coolness of it's surface feeling nice against my bare skin. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Teddy pulling off his t-shirt and tossing it in the general direction of the hamper.
He rolled over on his side, facing me. His foot slid over under the sheet and he rubbed his toe over my ankle. Just his mere touch made me feel all warm and fuzzy. How sickening. I lifted the sheets and Teedy needed no more encouragement to slide up against me. Even in the sultry heat, he felt so soft and warm. I squeezed him close and felt his soft hair against my cheek. Teddy sighed and relaxed.
I didn't need to squirm anymore.
-5-
The ground crunched underneath me.
My feet had to only press against the crumbled matter beneath and it broke into pebbles. I looked down at the coating of ash and dust on the ground. Instinctually, I pulled my shirt up over my nose. Somehow, I knew not to breathe too much of it in.
Squinting my eyes, I looked out in front of me. It was hard to see.
The air was thick with smoke and dust. It hung in the air with a heavy, burning ballast feel. I shut my eyes hard and felt tears squeeze out from the corners. With the only clean part of my body, the heel of my hand, I wiped them roughly. It wasn't exactly eye wash but it cleared them up enough for me to be able to see.
When I looked up at the sky, the sun tried to cut through the toxic miasma, resulting in an eerie glow. A heavy wind blew across the remains of the road, sending more puffs of the dust into my face. I coughed and spat, shaking my head and hearing the clicking of the dust as it flew from my hair. Somehow, I knew that I had to keep going.
After what felt like forever, I finally saw the dark outline of the hospital. It loomed up out of the haze like a giant tombstone.
How accurate, I thought to myself. I coughed again and spat. I knew that I wasn't going to get out of here without a few tumors of my own. I'd probably have to get a lung removed and a ball yanked out through my stomach. No biggie, of course.
Ever closer, the hospital began to define itself. Dark holes that used to be windows gaped in the sides of the building. They looked like gouged out eyes. No glass remained in the frames. Giant black scorch marks reached up from the ground and scarred the sides of the building. I swallowed hard and walked towards the cavernous cave that used to be a door.
As I got closer, I could smell them. It was the unmistakable stench of decomposition. I pulled my shirt tighter over my nose and walked closer. At least the smell of burnt everything kind of covered up the smell of the bodies. I edged nervously into the door. I wanted to close my eyes so I wouldn't have to see all of the bodies.
But the hospital was empty. Empty except for one.
On a blackened stretcher at the far end of the first floor, a motionless form lay covered by a stark white sheet. Ignoring every part of heart and soul, I walked forward with an unnatural force. When I reached the stretcher, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. My hand shook a bit as I brought it towards the head of the stretcher.
Somewhere outside, I heard a far-off explosion.
In one motion, I yanked the sheet down.
My knees buckled and bile rose in my throat. My stomach did flip flops and I recoiled, the sight too much for me to bear.
It was Teddy.
Half of his face had been burnt away by Fat Man (or Little Boy, I didn't really know which). I wanted to touch him. I wanted to feel him in some way. I wanted to turn back time and take him away from this place. I wanted to protect him and keep him from being killed in such a savage, horrible way.
Another explosion. It was much closer. I knew that in a few minutes, I wouldn't have to worry about Teddy anymore. I wouldn't have to worry about anything. All my worries would be over. All my problems would be solved.
But that was Nagaski. Or was it Hiroshima?
TO BE CONTINUED ...
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